Gillian Archer

A Lick of Sense

First published by Gillian Archer 2026

Copyright © 2026 by Gillian Archer

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters, and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or localities is entirely coincidental.

Gillian Archer expressly prohibits anyone from using this publication in any manner for purposes of training artificial intelligence technologies to generate text, including without limitation, technologies that are capable of generating works in the same style or genre.

No Generative AI was used in the creation of this book.

Ebook ISBN 978-1966830085

ASIN B0GJCQSX9D

Cover design: Qamber Designs & Media

Edited by Dayna Hart, Hart to Heart Edits

Proofread by Crystal Blanton, Luxe Ink Productions

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First edition

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Contents

About A Lick of Sense

A Lick of Sense Playlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Breaking News from the Babbler one hour ago

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Breaking news from the Babbler

Breaking news from the Babbler

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Breaking News from the Babbler

Chapter 29

Epilogue

About Licking Lips

Also By Gillian Archer

About Gillian Archer

About A Lick of Sense

I’m supposed to be getting to know my newfound rock star father—only I can’t take my eyes off his drummer. Oh boy.

On the worst day of my life, the father I never knew I had shows up.

And he’s a rock star.

I wish I could talk to my mom about her lies but she’s dead—hence the worst day of my life.

Now I’m in LA partying with rock stars, dodging my crazy stepmom, and avoiding my newfound father because…I don’t know why.

Everything is just so hard.

And heavy.

And awkward.

It doesn’t help that I can’t keep my eyes off his new drummer.

And drummer boy—well, man, definitely man—is looking back at me too.

Somehow I don’t think dear ol’ Dad is going to approve.

But I’m not sure I care.

A Lick of Sense Playlist

Stream it here https://bit.ly/3TB2ppy

Landslide—Fleetwood Mac

Somewhere Over the Rainbow—Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

Blurry—Puddle of Mudd

Rockstar—Nickelback

Kingdom of Fear—Cameron Whitcomb

A Bar Song (Tipsy)—Shaboozey

Dancing On My Own—Calum Scott

A Little Bit Off—Five Finger Death Punch

New Kind of Emotion—Runaway June

We Really Shouldn’t Be Doing This—George Strait

Setting the World on Fire—Kenny Chesney with P!nk

Strange Love—Halsey

What About Us—P!nk

Here Comes the Sun—the Beatles

You’re My Best Friend—Queen

Chapter 1

Isabella Monti

Lake View Cemetery

Seattle, Washington

Today broke me.

I don’t know how I’d put one foot in front of the other. How I’d made it through the horrifying ordeal of having to see my mother’s body lying in the coffin. She’d wanted a simple graveside funeral. No viewing, because she didn’t want my last memory of her to be a cold, lifeless one. My mom is a smart woman.

Was.

God, would I ever get used to thinking about her in the past tense?

Prior to the funeral, the director needed someone to confirm that it was my mother in the casket before they sealed it. Going against my friends’ wishes—and my mom’s—I’d shouldered the responsibility.

And now it haunted me.

“How are you holding up, Izzy?”

Alexis put an arm around my shoulders, and I fought the urge to collapse into her. I knew the second I did, I’d lose it, and it wouldn’t be pretty. I wanted to be strong. Mom taught me that tears were for behind closed doors. No matter what happens, hold it together until you find some privacy. I wanted to do that for her, but every time I closed my eyes I saw her pale, lifeless body in that casket.

I shook my head, and my chest hitched with a broken sigh. “I’m getting by.”

“You are taking too much on your shoulders. Ask for help. My parents and I are here for you.”

“I know. I just—”

“Have to be so damn strong and stubborn. There’s nothing wrong with leaning on us. You’re family, Izzy. Hell, you’re more of a sister to me than Katie, and I had to share a bedroom with that brat for ten years.”

I couldn’t help but smile. She was my sister in every way but blood. And I loved her parents almost as much as my mom.

But it wasn’t the same.

Yes, they were lovely people, but they weren’t really family.

I didn’t have a family anymore.

My dad died before I was born, and my mom never remarried or had any other children. Her parents, my grandparents, died when I was in middle school, and my mom never really talked about my dad’s parents.

I was all alone.

Tears burned the back of my eyelids. I came so close to losing it. But I looked at the casket, sitting on the wet grass in the cemetery that would be my mom’s final resting place, and I sucked up my tears. I’d cry later, when I was alone.

I had plenty of alone time ahead of me.

“It was my job,” I whispered back to Alexis. “She is—was—my mom.”

“Is. She’ll always be your mother.”

I don’t know how I didn’t break down at that, but I held it together.

Like the sister she was, Alexis knew what I was feeling and squeezed my shoulder.

“If everyone will please take their seats, we can begin the graveside service.” The stooped, wrinkled funeral director gestured to the folding chairs. “Let’s please leave the first row for the family.”

I hugged Alexis, then pulled away and took a step forward. Alone.

“Don’t even try it. You know I’m sitting up front with you.”

I gave a watery chuckle and let my bestie lead me. Her parents and sister joined us a few moments later. It was awesome to have support. Not the same as having my mom, but I didn’t feel so achingly alone.

The service passed by in a blur. A few people got up to speak—friends of my mom, a few of her coworkers from NOAA, and Alexis read one of my mom’s favorite poems—but mercifully I didn’t have to talk. I don’t think I was capable of saying anything coherent.

I stared at the gleaming mahogany coffin.

She really was gone.

The thankfully short service I’d planned in a blur earlier this week drew to a close as the director invited people to come forward and pay their respects as my mom’s favorite song, the Israel Kamakawiwo’ole ukulele version of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ played.

I took a moment to brace myself. Then I stepped forward and placed my rose on top of her coffin. I stared down at the array of flowers, but all I could see was the pale, lifeless husk that her aneurysm left me.

She was gone.

It felt silly to think it now. I knew she was gone. I’d been at her bedside a week ago, when she’d breathed her last breath. I’d watched over her this last month, praying she’d wake up from her coma. Unable to believe that the waxen body in that hospital bed was my mom. She hadn’t looked anything like the energetic, take-no-prisoners, awesome mom I’d known.

And now she was gone.

She was never coming back.

My eyes burned with tears that I couldn’t deny any longer. They ran down my cheeks and dripped off my chin.

My breath shuddered in my chest. And it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

She was gone.

Oh God. Why?

Why!

Sobs shook my body until I collapsed.

I sat in the wet grass next to my mother’s grave and sobbed. A lifetime’s worth of tears poured from me.

All the things my mom would miss tormented me. She wouldn’t be there when I got my first post-grad job. My wedding. She would never hold her grandchildren. I wouldn’t have her to lean on ever again.

Oh God. Why?

Why did she have to die?

I cried until I was physically exhausted. Until the fog of my grief lifted enough for me to realize exactly where I was. I should’ve been embarrassed that I’d failed to live up to my mom’s example of strength, but all I felt was grief and bone-deep weariness.

I was pretty sure I could audition as a plus-sized version of Alice Cooper right now. I tried to collect myself. I’d spent the entire day with a clutch of tissues in my hand, but when I really needed them, I couldn’t find any. Where the hell did I leave my purse?

“Here.”

I looked up and found Alexis holding out a packet of tissues. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt your flow. You were due.”

I gave a wet chuckle. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Taking a minute to sort my tears and smudged makeup, I avoided looking around to see how many people had stuck it out to watch my breakdown. There was supposed to be a wake. Fortunately, I wasn’t hosting. Alexis’ family had offered in that way where I couldn’t say no. Which was a relief to me now. The thought of all those people invading my house and wanting to talk about my mom and what a waste her death was left me feeling even more exhausted. Yes, I’d have to show up, but at least I’d be able to leave when I’d had enough. I could retreat to my empty house where it was just me and all the food that kept showing up. I had enough meals to last me until the Mariners won the World Series.

With another shuddering breath, I clutched the tissue in my hand and peeked around. Aside from Alexis’ family and the director, a handful of people were making their way to the parking lot. Most of the mourners had left already.

Except one tall, muscular, older man standing next to a polished town car.

I had no idea who the guy was, and I didn’t have it in me to give a shit. I just wanted to get back to my house and collapse in my bed so I could cry for a few more hours.

I just had to get through the wake first.

After another weary sigh, I held up a hand to Alexis and let her pull me up.

“Does my butt look as wet as it feels?” I turned and presented my soggy backside to my friend.

“No one cares, Izzy. You look fine.”

“Thanks for lying to me.”

“What are friends for?” A gentle smile curved Alexis’ lips.

I stepped closer to her to give her a hug, but paused when I saw the sadness clouding her eyes. In all my grief, I never stopped to think about how all this was affecting her. We’d spent the better part of twenty years living in each other’s houses. She’d lost a surrogate mother. I closed the distance between us and enveloped her in a rib crushing hug.

And it was her turn to lose it.

“I am…hic…so sorry!” The words were muffled in my shoulder. “I was trying…hic…so hard to be…hic…strong for you!”

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, A. That’s what kickass friends are for. Unconditional love. Save the apologies for when you really screw up.”

Alexis gave a wet snort chuckle that probably left a smear of something on my black dress. Not that I gave a shit—there was no way I was ever gonna wear this dress again. It held too many horrible memories.

After a few more minutes and more than a few tears, Alexis pulled away and we tried to get into some kind of passable shape with crumpled tissues and a compact mirror. I had a feeling it was a lost cause. Not that I cared. The lead singer of Orange Yeti could’ve shown up, and I doubt I would’ve noticed.

“You have a smear of mascara right there…”

I swiped at my cheek where she indicated although given the look she threw me, I missed the spot. “I don’t care. Let’s just go. We’ll fix me in the car.”

It’d take a lot longer than the car ride to her parents’ house to fix what was broken inside me. More like a lifetime.

Was it even possible to get over the death of your mother?

My feet dragged as we walked toward the parking lot.

Tears brimmed my eyes again and fogged my vision. At least I still had Alexis to lean on. I couldn’t have gotten through this day—or to the parking lot—without her.

“Isabella? Isabella Monti?”

I swiped at my eyes and realized we’d reached the edge of the parking lot where the tall guy and the town car had been sitting. He was the one who’d addressed me.

“I, uh, yes. I’m Isabella.”

I could feel Alexis’ gaze ping pong back and forth between me and the attractive stranger in front of us.

“I, uh, realize this isn’t the best time. But I think there’s really no good time for this news.” He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, his arm muscles flexing. It seemed like he was seven feet tall, and he had a passing resemblance to Jason Mamoa—all tanned skinned, long, wild, curly hair and crazy fit arms. “I just found out about you and raced to get here. I’m your father.”

Chapter 2

Hunter Adkins

Los Angeles, CA

Four hours earlier

Nothing could compare to today.

Today I was auditioning to be the drummer for the Long Licks, replacing the irreplaceable Gio Barone. He’d long been an idol of mine. His death had hit me especially hard. And the thought of being the one holding the sticks and playing his beats was making me feel nauseous.

How was this my life?

“They’re ready to see you,” Danny Conlan’s assistant, E-something—shit I should’ve remembered that—popped his head into the sleek waiting room I’d been quietly panicking in.

I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans and jumped to my feet, my heart pounding just as hard as the beat in ‘Shameless.’ Who knew memorizing their songs when I was a teen could’ve potentially paid off like this?

Shit, I was getting ahead of myself. I still had to meet the guys and play first.

I crossed the room and stepped through the door Evan—maybe?—held for me.

He tipped his head toward the hall. “Third door on the left. I’d walk you, but I have a sudden fire to put out.”

“Ethan, man, come on!” Beau Benoit, the band’s bassist, hollered after he’d ripped open the closest door and all of his size, wild hair, and manic eyes skipped past me to land on the guy standing next to me. “Do you even know what a fucking emergency means? I gotta be there like yesterday. Fucking move, man.”

“Right away, Mr. Benoit.” Ethan—my guess had been close—gave me an apologetic smile before hustling after the irate musician who’d stomped back into the office beyond.

Beau didn’t even give me a second look.

I’d been nervous before, but now I was anxious as fuck.

My heartbeat thundering in my ears, I approached the door Ethan had indicated and pushed it open before my brain could catch up to my body.

Danny Conlan stood just beyond the door, hunched over his phone. Ryker O’Keeffe and Malcolm Holt were sprawled out on a leather sofa to my right, looking all relaxed if not outright bored. Leif Eccles stood opposite me with his arms crossed over his chest, a snarl curling his lips as he argued with Malcolm.

“I still don’t see the problem.” Leif sneered. “We’re both consenting adults. And she doesn’t even live here, so it’s not like it’s in your face all the fucking time.”

“She’s here enough,” Malcolm tossed back. “Stop sleeping with my wife’s friends. It makes my life awkward as fuck.”

“Yeah.” Ryker laughed. “Let Mal fuck up his marriage all on his own.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, asshole.” Mal snarled.

Ryker grinned back totally unabashed. “No problem.”

“Uh,” I cleared my throat. “Ethan said you were ready for me?” I don’t know why it came out as a question. I was thirty-six. Had played with a debatably successful band. Came up from the trenches like everyone in this room. But still, I didn’t feel like I belonged.

And that somehow they’d all know it in a few minutes too.

“Hunter!” Danny shoved his phone in his suit pocket then turned to give me a handshake and back slap. “Thanks for agreeing to play with the guys.”

“Playing with?” Leif’s raised eyebrows and lip snarl weren’t exactly welcoming.

“I think he meant trying out with.” I tipped my head at Leif, then turned to do the same to the guys on the couch. “Nice to meet you all. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s an honor. I’ve been listening to your music since the beginning. It’s, I’m…yeah. I’m nervous as fuck.”

Leif’s snarl softened to a smirk. He tipped his jaw at me. “No pressure. We just want to hear what you’ve got.”

“Fuck off.” Malcolm walked over to me with his hand out for a shake. His hair was tied back in a man-bun, and somehow he was making a long-sleeved white sweater work with shorts. “Don’t let the diva over there get in your head. He’s so full of shit his eyes are now a lovely shade of brown. They were actually green before our first record deal.”

I laughed, and my shoulders relaxed a little with Malcolm’s joke. Or maybe because of his whole laidback surfer personality. He was all calm and chill—the opposite of Leif. “Nice to meet you, Malcolm. Like I said, I’m a huge fan.”

“It’s Mal. We’re all just musicians here—band geeks really.” Malcolm laughed. “Although Leif did spend time in drama club, which is where his flair for the dramatic comes from.”

Ryker prowled toward me in a black tank top and ripped up jeans. “Nah. He’s always been a diva. Drama class just freed the asshole within. Ryker.” He held out his hand. His whole arm—both arms actually—were covered in tattoos, and yet he had a slight smile that put me at ease despite his whole tough guy demeanor.

“Oh, I know.” I shook his hand and after a beat, I winced. “About your name. Not about…” I trailed off awkwardly.

But Leif, charming fellow that he was, finished for me. “My diva asshole personality?”

His eyebrows went up, and I swallowed hard. Fuck, he was intimidating—all black clothes, angry stares, and chin-length blond hair. A vampire! That was what he reminded me of. All soul sucking and creepy.

Yeah, I needed to stop watching stupid shit the night before literally the biggest day of my life.

“Right,” Danny, their manager, cut in with a hard smile. “Now that all the pleasantries are over, let’s get this show on the road. You ready, kid?”

I lifted my chin, my eyes never leaving Leif’s. If he could be an ass, so could I. I’d never been one to back down from a challenge. “Ready and fucking eager.”

I might puke.

Leif smiled wolfishly. “No pressure.”

“Stop being an asshole, dickhead.” Mal rounded the couch, slugging Leif in the stomach on his way.

Leif didn’t even flinch. But then maybe that was what happened when you didn’t have a soul.

Pulling a pair of sticks from my back pocket, I crossed to where a bunch of instruments were set up on the far end. What I would’ve given to set up my own kit, but I was the last one to be making demands here.

When I sat on the stool behind the drumkit, that feeling of normal came over me and relaxed my tense shoulders. Tapping my sticks over the skins, I adjusted a few things for my reach.

Yeah, I had this.

One stick absent-mindedly tapped a rhythm that’d been haunting me lately. I raised my eyebrows at the guys standing around me. “Anything in particular you want me to play?”

“Whatever you think shows us who—” Mal started when Leif cut him off.

“’Not Gonna Forget,’” Leif tossed out the name of one of their deep cut songs—one that had never been a single.

Mal groaned.

“Ass,” Ryker muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Do you even want a new drummer?” Danny asked with a frown. “Are you sabotaging the auditions on—”

He cut himself off as I started the opening beat of ‘Not Gonna Forget.’ I’d memorized every song on their first few albums. But I would’ve been screwed if they asked for something more recent.

“Shit.” Mal grinned. “I don’t even remember this song. I can’t even jam with him. And I really fucking want to.”

I kept playing, trying and failing to keep the smirk off my face.

Leif raised a hand. “Okay, but can he read music?”

I scoffed. “If you’d asked for one of your more recent songs, you’d find out—I only know ‘Infamous’ from your latest album. I’ve been a little busy with my own band to fuck around too much.”

Leif squinted at me then turned to Danny. “Get the sheet music for ‘Don’t Tell Me.’”

I trailed off playing as Mal groaned.

“I don’t even really remember than one,” Ryker muttered, rubbing his forehead. “Can you get my sheet music for it too, Danny?”

Danny rocked back on his heels. “You guys know that Ethan is busy with Beau’s shit, right? I don’t have my assistant to run and fetch for you all right now.”

“I thought that was what we had you for?” Leif returned, completely serious.

My eyes widened at the looks they exchanged. Leif, all smug and arrogant while Danny was no doubt planning where and when to bury Leif’s body. He wasn’t someone I would ever fuck with.

“How about we play ‘Infamous’?” Ryker asked, his gaze bouncing between the two suits facing off. “The kid said he knows that one.”

This was probably a bad time to remind them I was thirty-six. They weren’t that much older than me. But a smart man knew when to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m up for whatever,” I tossed out as I twirled one of my sticks between my fingers. “I wasn’t shitting you that I can read music. But we can play whatever you all want. I’m easy.” I was trying to be. It was hard to relax with all the tension in the air.

And it reminded me too much of my childhood. I barely suppressed a shudder.

“’Infamous’ it is.” Danny lifted his chin at me before sliding his clearly unimpressed gaze to Leif.

“Sure.” I shrugged.

Ryker and Mal exchanged wide-eyed expressions then walked to their instruments. Leif continued glaring at Danny. After a long minute, he huffed and stomped over to his position.

I thought I heard Danny mutter something about children.

“Count us out, kid,” Leif growled.

After uneasily clearing my throat, I lifted my sticks and counted out a four beat.

The guys joined in, and I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I described it as magical. Even if I didn’t get the gig, this was an epic moment—bucket list kind of thing. I grinned behind the drums like a kid getting his biggest wish ever granted. And honestly, it kinda felt like that.

I didn’t need the stadium of the thousands of screaming fans. This right here was everything to me.

Childhood dream achieved.

I couldn’t see any of their faces, since they all stood in front of me. And the sound wasn’t exactly perfect since we were missing the bass guitar with Beau’s absence. But I grinned the whole time.

When the song came to a close, the three guys exchanged looks but didn’t say anything.

Finally, Leif turned around and shoved his hands in the back pockets of his black pants. “Remind me again why your band broke up. You all had a hit, right?”

I ground my teeth together for a second. There was seriously no winning with this asshole. “Yeah. We hit the top of the charts with ‘Alibi’. Shit fell apart less than six months later because Gabe slept with Nate’s wife.”

Mal made a choking sound before clearing his throat. “And Gabe is…?”

“Our lead singer.”

Mal exchanged a look with Ryker and a second later they were both giggling like little boys. “Fucking typical.”

I clutched my drumsticks. As far as I could see, nothing was funny about what had happened with my band. We went from the top of the charts to restraining orders, criminal charges, and lost livelihoods. Pretty sure Gabe had surgery to fix what Nate had done to his face. Meanwhile, the rest of us had been screwed. “What the fuck is wrong with you two?”

“Sorry,” Mal mumbled as he wiped his eyes. “Just that I’ve been after this asshole”—he jerked his thumb in Leif’s direction—“for screwing around with my wife’s friend. He’s made shit so fucking awkward at home. I was literally tearing into him for it before you walked in this morning.”

“Ah.” I nodded slightly like I knew what the fuck was going on. “Are we playing more? Maybe something slower?”

“I think we have everything we need.” Danny exchanged looks with the rest of the guys, who nodded. “We’ll be in touch.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, thanks for the opportunity. I had fun.” My eyes slid to Leif. “Mostly.”

Standing up, I slid my sticks in my back pocket and crossed over to shake the guys’ hands. Leif, of course, tightened his grip to a punishing level. But I was no pussy, I squeezed back just as firmly and gave him an insincere smile. “It’s been an experience. Thanks again.”

“Yeah, same, kid. Thanks for coming out.”

That sounded like a thanks but no thanks.

Fuck.

I’d been so fucking hopeful. This had come at the perfect time. My band just broke up, and the Licks just lost their drummer. It’d felt like kismet.

How fucking wrong I’d been.

Chapter 3

Izzy

I blinked a few times.

“Izzy’s dad died before she was born,” Alexis said, jerking me back to the conversation.

“I wasn’t aware that was what you’d been told. I dated Katrina about twenty-five years ago. I never knew about you. I just found out about your existence this morning. But I’m ninety-five percent sure you’re my daughter.”

“Wait, you’re serious? This isn’t…” I took a staggered step toward him as a buzzing filled my ears. My stomach rolled with the movement, and suddenly I didn’t feel so good.

My father was alive?

And in front of me?

Oh God.

That was my last coherent thought right before I doubled over and vomited all over my father’s polished boots.

It felt like one of those moments where time froze. Everything just stopped. Everyone around me frozen, no doubt in horror, and me hunched over with bile still clinging to my lips.

Oh my God, I just barfed all over this stranger’s shiny boots.

Well, they weren’t exactly shiny right now.

I wiped at my lips with the back of my hand. I just wanted to die.

Pain ripped at my heart as my hyperbole sank in. My mom was in a coffin literally yards away. God, what was wrong with me?

“Here.”

I looked up at my father’s offered handkerchief.

“Thanks,” I murmured before I buried my face in its soft, white folds. The scent of leather and some kind of wood enveloped me. It felt oddly comforting—like a hug or something. I’d love nothing more than to wallow and not meet the eyes of the man who I’d just barfed all over, but I knew that wasn’t possible.

Plus, there was the whole him being my secret dad who was still alive thing.

My dad.

Why had my mom told me he was dead?

What was he like?

Why hadn’t I met him before now?

Was there some nefarious reason my mom didn’t want me to know him? Was he in the mafia or something? With his build and coloring, he could’ve been a mafioso enforcer.

Or maybe I needed to stop reading so many crazy novels.

Was I breathing fast?

My heart raced and it felt like I wasn’t getting any air despite my panting breaths. “Izzy, are you okay?” Alexis tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

Oh God, did I have puke in my hair?

“Breathe with me, Iz.” My bestie grabbed my hand and held it to her chest so I could feel her slow, steady breaths.

I closed my eyes, and after a few beats, the smothering panic eased.

I mean, I was still hunched over in the cemetery parking lot with puke everywhere in front of my maybe-dad, but that was totally normal.

“Look, Mister.” Alexis turned to him. “I don’t know who you are, but this is too much for Izzy today. Can I get your number or whatever, and she’ll call you once things have calmed down?”

He crossed his arms over his massive chest and scowled down at my best friend. “I just found out I have a daughter. I’m not just going to disappear.”

“Yeah, well, she just buried her mom, so excuse us if we need a minute to absorb your news. She’s not going anywhere with you, not in the state she’s in. So back the fuck off.”

I don’t think I could love Alexis any more than I did at that moment.

I might be an orphan—or then again, maybe not—but I’d always have my found family.

“What’s going on over here?” Alexis’ father, Shane, popped up behind us. “Do you know this guy, Izzy?”

“He says he’s Izzy’s father,” Alexis answered for me.

“I thought your father wasn’t with us?” Shane asked awkwardly, like saying the word dead was forbidden.

He was sweet, but he’d always been kinda awkward with his daughters and their friends. Like he never really knew how to talk to us.

I shrugged. “That’s not what he’s saying.”

Shane’s eyebrows rose. “Look, Katrina was a friend, and she said Izzy’s father died before she was born.”

“And yet here I am.” He spread his hands out in front of him, like he had nothing to hide.

Like we all should just accept what he was saying.

“Right. I’m sure you can appreciate that this is a difficult day for the girls. Maybe we can all sit down and talk later this week. Can I get your info?”

The man huffed. “Fine.” A few moments later, he was typing his info into Shane’s phone. “I’m staying at the Four Seasons indefinitely. I’ll be ready and waiting for you to talk to me.”

After another searching look my way, he turned and walked to his car. A minute later he drove away, his taillights reflecting on the wet asphalt.

And then it hit me.

“I don’t even know his name.” I laughed softly.

Alexis turned to me and gave me a wide-eyed look. “You’re right. He never even told us his name!”

Then we were bent over, giggling uncontrollably. It was just so ridiculous.

After a minute, we stood up and wiped the tears from our eyes.

“If you two are done, I have his name here.” Shane waved his phone at us. “His name is Beau Benoit.”

“Wait, why does that sound familiar?” Alexis turned to me with a frown.

I shrugged. It didn’t sound familiar to me.

Shane cleared his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you really want to know?”

“Oh god, he’s a famous hitman, isn’t he?” I blurted out.

“What?” Alexis and her dad chorused as they turned to me with confused expressions.

“Babe, hitmen are never famous. They’re ghosts.” Alexis pointed out.

Shane shook his head. “He’s the bass guitarist for the Long Licks.”

Alexis gasped. “Holy—”

“—shit,” I finished.

* * *

Three days later, I was standing alone outside the Four Seasons. Alexis had to drop me off because parking downtown was stupid. A request she didn’t want to fulfill. She’d spent the entire drive here lecturing me on the dangers of being alone with a strange man in a hotel room while I’d tried to not have a panic attack.

After the wake, I’d gone through every part of the house, searching for something about my dad or his band—all my mom’s papers, her pictures, her yearbooks—and nothing. Even my birth certificate had ‘None Named’ for father.

Who was this man and how had my mom known him? I mean, aside from the obvious.

I know, I know. I wasn’t going to get any answers out here on the sidewalk. I had to go inside. I was just waiting for the right time. Which, judging by the looks I was getting, was about five minutes ago. Sighing deeply, I willed my feet to move.

I headed through the doors and toward the elevator with single-minded determination.

“Miss. Miss! Can I help you?” A slim Barbie with resting bitch face popped up in front of me.

I blinked and jerked back. “Uh, I don’t need help. I know where I’m going.”

“Are you a guest here?” she asked in this tone that spelled out she knew the answer.

“No, I’m here to see someone.”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you have access to the elevators. Those are only for guests and their approved visitors. You can call their room from the phone there.” She gestured to the gleaming white stone front desk beyond the modern gas fireplace.

“They know I’m coming. I’m not some crazy off the street.”

One slim eyebrow arched without wrinkling her face at all. “I never said you were, miss. It’s hotel policy. I hope you understand.”

I don’t know what it was—her imperial attitude, her perfect blonde chignon, or my own hangups—but I wilted under her unimpressed stare. “Uh, that’s okay. I’ll just call him myself.”

This time both eyebrows went up in a clear challenge.

Cringing, I pulled my cell out of my purse and the scrap of paper Shane had given me. I typed in the number with a shaky hand then hit the speakerphone button out of habit.

“Crap,” I muttered, juggling the phone, the paper, and my purse as I tried to deselect the speaker button.

But the line was already ringing, and he answered.

“Yeah,” he barked.

“Uh, it’s Izzy, I mean, Isabella. Isabella Monti?” I closed my eyes with a wince. Why did I say that as a question? What was wrong with me?

“Yeah… Are you on your way?”

“I’m, um, actually here—at your hotel—but they won’t let me come up.”

“Fuck. I’ll come to you.” Then he ended the call without another word.

My heart pounded in my ears just from hearing his voice, and my hands were still shaky as I put my phone away.

But Hotel Barbie looked less sure than she had a few minutes ago.

Of course she didn’t budge from her position either.

So we stood there in awkward silence, still facing off like opponents who studiously avoided looking at each other.

Then the elevator doors slid open and six foot six inches of irate rock star descended on us.

“Who the fuck do I have to talk to?” He thundered. “You? Get my girl a key to my room. Now.”

Hotel Barbie had been staring at him like he was Thor descended from Asgard. But when he’d barked ‘now’ she jolted and all but ran to the desk.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Benoit. She didn’t say she was here as your guest. We had no idea,” Hotel Barbie babbled, while the other slim blonde behind the desk gawked at Maybe-Bio-Dad.

“Because you would’ve let her use the elevator then?” Maybe-Bio-Dad scoffed. “Add her info to my suite. She has permission to charge to the room, and we need a card for her to access the elevator and the room.”

“Oh, I don’t need—”

Hotel Barbie cut me off. “We just need a copy of her driver’s license, and we’ll get that squared away pronto.”

Maybe-Bio-Dad grunted then turned to me. “You got one of those, kiddo?”

Kiddo? That was…a choice. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.”

And I don’t know why, but I pulled it out and passed it to Hotel Barbie.

She clacked away at the keyboard while I closed my eyes in mortification.

None of this was going how I thought it would.

“All right. We have you all squared away.” Hotel Barbie shoved my license and a hotel keycard at me while her eyes stayed trained on Maybe-Bio-Dad. “And we apologize for the confusion and inconvenience, Mr. Benoit. Please let me know if you need anything.”

I barely withheld my shudder. It gave me so much ick.

But Maybe-Bio-Dad didn’t even flinch. Or notice. He just turned to me with a hesitant expression. “You, uh, you still want to come up? Or we could go out? Whatever you want.”

Honestly, I didn’t want anything at the moment. Or maybe just a hole to crawl into because literally everyone in the lobby was staring at me now. All five of them. Who hung out at the Four Seasons’ lobby at ten AM on a Tuesday? “Uh, let’s go up.”

He nodded and stepped toward me with an outreached hand like he was going to…I don’t know what—hug me, put an arm around my shoulders—shake my hand?—before he jerked it back and ran it through his long, wavy hair. “Right. This way.”

“Thank you again, Mr. Benoit!” Hotel Barbie shouted as we walked to the elevators.

My eyes widened at her desperation, but I studiously studied my Converse and didn’t say a word.

A few minutes later we arrived at the top floor—a floor that required a cardkey to reach—and Maybe-Bio-Dad opened one of only two doors on the floor.

“Right. Are you hungry? Thirsty?” He tossed the keycard down on a hall table then crossed to the bar, and I don’t mean like a simple hotel minibar. This place had a mirrored barback with ten bottles and twice as many glasses displayed, shakers, and food splayed out. A charcuterie board, ice bucket with champagne, and three kinds of potato chips littered the rear countertop.

I crossed the room hesitantly and took a seat on one of the tall barstools. “Do you have any soda? It’s a little early for the hard stuff.”

“Not for rock stars, kid.” He cracked open a bottle of beer and took a swig before ducking under the bar and opening the mini fridge. “We got Coke, Sprite, and three kinds of water.”

“Coke, please.”

He slid the can across the bar to me, and I grabbed it with a shaky smile. I cracked it open and took a sip. He drank his beer across from me, and we studiously avoided looking at each other.

I took in the room.

There was a separate dining room, a living room with sofas, and a hallway. From here, I could see at least one bedroom and a bathroom, but there were more doors beyond. The place was huge. And classy. From the gleaming wood floors and accent walls to the marble counters to the modern chandelier with its glass balls and gold fixtures.

Intimidation was an understatement.

This kinda room wasn’t me.

When we’d gone on vacations, we’d stayed at places with Holiday or Best in their names. Places that had free breakfast as a perk. Not places that had freaking chandeliers.

“So I guess you have questions…” Maybe-Bio-Dad drawled after setting his beer down with a clink.

I turned back to him. “Yeah, and I’m hoping you have some answers.”

He groaned and rubbed his hand against his brow. “Fuck, there’s no way to do this where I don’t come out as a tool.”

That made me feel a bit better about my mom’s lie. But I still wanted to hear the story. “I mean, no judgement. You’re here now, right?”

“Right.” He sighed. “Come on, kid, let’s at least get comfortable if I’m going to list all the ways I fucked up my life.”

A smile tugged my lips as I followed him to the slick living room. He took a seat in the deep brown leather chair with the nail head detail, and I sat on the tan suede sofa opposite. Grabbing one of the throw pillows, I clutched it to my chest like it was a shield that could protect me.

Maybe-Bio-Dad, meanwhile, was studiously staring at the label on his beer like it held all the answers.

I didn’t say anything. I’d been around enough men to know that eventually the silence would get to them.

Finally he sighed. “I met Katrina her senior year at UCLA. She was…gorgeous. Effervescent. Fucking one of a kind. I’ve never met another woman like her since, honestly.”

I smiled slightly. I would’ve described my mom the same way. There had just been something about her that made you want to be in her orbit. She had been amazing.

Tears burned my eyes at the past tense reminder. Past. Dead.

Fuck, this was hard. Was still hard.

Would it ever get easier?

“And I was a punk trying to get our band off the ground. We were playing any dive bar in LA that would have us. And then one day your mom walked in with some friends, and that was it. I fell so fucking hard.” He smiled softly at some memory of my mom, and I gotta be honest, I softened a little toward him.

“So we started dating. Had the talk and everything. Katrina was up front—she wouldn’t be hookup, we had to be exclusive or we couldn’t be together. And I agreed.”

Uh oh. A blind person could see where this story was headed.

“I loved her. I really, really did.” He leaned forward in his chair, his eyes intent on mine now. And I saw the sincerity in his eyes. “We were together for months. I’d never done that with a woman, not even in high school. Katrina was every-fucking-thing to me.”

I nodded. I believed him, I really did.

But I also knew what was coming.

He sighed and looked away. “And then we got a meeting with Pinnacle.” He fidgeted in his seat. “They wanted to sign us. It’s kind of a blur after that. I remember calling your mom, telling her the news, and inviting her to party. There was a lot of drinking. A lot of celebrating. And so many women.”

He pushed out of his chair and stalked over to the bar. Judging from the clink of glass, he was getting a refill. Then he finished the story as he stood behind me like he couldn’t bear to look me in the eyes. “Katrina walked in as I was mid-thrust in a woman while snorting a line off her ass.”

My eyes widened. I’d expected the cheating, but I hadn’t anticipated the naked honesty. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I don’t want to damage your memory of your mom. She was an amazing woman who I screwed over.” He stomped around the sofa and collapsed into his chair in a sprawl of over long limbs and wild hair. “She was fucking everything, and I fucked her over. I deserved everything that happened.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I didn’t. Maybe I deserved to know who my father was—at the bare minimum. Maybe I deserved to know the man who loved my mom despite being a philandering ass.”

His lips quirked like he was fighting a smile. “Kiddo, you were better off not knowing me. I was an ass. Have been an ass for the last twenty-five years—longer really.”

“So you’re saying you’re still an ass?” Considering I was twenty-three, the math wasn’t mathing. “Because from where I’m sitting, you seem like a guy who shows up. Someone who gives a damn when it really matters.”

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Trust me, this is a new development. Hearing that the one who got away fucking died and you have a kid kinda puts things in perspective.”

“And you don’t think that could’ve happened at any point in the last twenty-three years?” I really don’t think he got the gaping wound his absence had left me with. The hole in my life that he could’ve filled. The questions he could’ve answered. I’d always thought my dad was dead, and anytime I brought it up, my mom didn’t want to talk about him.

Now I knew why.

Still didn’t make it right.

Still made me so goddamn angry.

And I didn’t know what to do with that.

“I think obsessing about could’ve-beens is a stupid waste of time. We’re here now, and I’d really like to get to know you.”

“I’d like that too.” I laughed incredulously. “I don’t think you get what this means to me. I-I-I thought I was alone. My mom’s parents are long gone. She was an only child. And I thought you were dead. I don’t have anyone in life aside from friends. This is…everything.”

He audibly swallowed, only his beer was still sitting on the little end table next to him. After a beat, he shook his head and looked at the dangling chandelier above us. “No pressure, right?”

That earlier kernel of unease in my stomach tightened and then doubled.

Yeah, no pressure.

Chapter 4

Hunter

My phone buzzed, and I couldn’t find it in me to lift my head to look at it. Mentally listing all my failings and how I could’ve done better at the audition was taking up too much bandwidth.

But when it buzzed for the umpteenth time, I finally hit accept and barked, “What!”

“Shit,” James laughed over the line. “I’m guessing it didn’t go well.”

“Did me not accepting your twenty-something calls not spell that out for you?”

“What are you talking about? This is my first call today.”

I jackknifed up, toggled to the missed calls screen, and the display literally took my breath away.

Danny Conlan

Danny Conlan

Danny Conlan

I had two new voicemails.

I quickly tapped that screen.

Under Danny’s contact, a text summary partially revealed.

Danny Conlan: Need to schedule another audition with you once Beau gets back, but it’s just a formality. Mal—

The message cut off, and I tapped it to read the entire text.

Danny Conlan: Need to schedule another audition with you once Beau gets back, but it’s just a formality. Mal, Ryker, and Leif are all yeses. And Beau is easygoing. Let’s get together for dinner and talk schedules and contracts. You free tonight?

“Holy shit! I got it!” I shouted. Standing up, I jumped on my bed like a little kid. “I’m in. I’m a fucking Lick!”

“Wait, what?” James’ small, tinny voice came from far away and reminded me that I’d been on speaker phone with him.

I grabbed my phone and babbled into it. “I got a message from Danny. He wants to meet tonight and talk schedules and contracts. I’m in. I’m fucking in!”

There was a heavy pause on the end of the line. James didn’t say anything for the longest time. So long that some of my elation leaked out of me.

I knew what he’d expected—hoped. He wanted to form another band—him, me, and some new guys. But I couldn’t, wouldn’t walk away from this.

This was the big time. Everything I’d dreamed of was literally being handed to me on a silver platter. I’d worshipped the Long Licks since I was a stupid kid, annoying my parents by taking up the whole basement with my kit, and annoying them and our neighbors with my constant practice.

I was going to be a Lick!

Finally James sighed. “I’m happy for you, bro. I really am. You know I only want the best for you. Glad one of us is getting to live the dream. I gotta go. Talk to you later.”

He ended the call before I even formed a reply.

I hated that I couldn’t take him with me. If anyone on this earth deserved to have his dream come true, it was James.

But life didn’t really work that way.

* * *

The next few days passed in a blur. Dinner with Danny. Contracts. Lawyers. Beau had waived the additional audition, trusting the word of his bandmates. Danny mentioned Beau saying if he had to sit through another audition he was going to drive drumsticks up Danny’s ass. I couldn’t wait to meet the guy.

But it was official—I was the newest member of the Long Licks!

Only I couldn’t tell anyone. I’d signed an NDA that said as much. The guys—and maybe the label too?—wanted to make sure the synergy was going to work or something. Honestly, the legalese bullshit made my head hurt.

All I knew was that after a final vote by the original band in a month, I’d have a one-year contract with them with an option to renew. I wasn’t even twitchy about the vote since I’d already impressed them. It was a formality really. I’d also had to give up rights on the next album—both in the case of a new album or if they released a best of compilation instead—and considering the zeros on my check, I hadn’t thought twice about it.

Because if everything went the way I wanted it to, there would be more albums and a hellova lot more zeros in my future—in the best possible way.

I was a fucking Long Lick!

James hadn’t called me back. I wasn’t worried about him spilling the beans. Despite his disappointment, James would always have my back—like I would for him. He just needed a minute to get over the disappointment. Change wasn’t always easy.

I was a fucking Long Lick now!

Shit, I had to get this stupid grin off my face. I couldn’t show up as that guy.

“I still can’t believe we’re going to Phoebe Benoit’s party. Do you know how big this is? Where did you even meet her?” My girlfriend, Cheyenne, chattered in the passenger seat.

Yeah, so she didn’t know yet. I couldn’t trust her not to blab. Cheyenne was hot, but she loved gossip. And my mama didn’t raise a fool.

I hitched a shoulder and tried not to look as excited as I really was. “I know the guys in her husband’s band. They’re the ones who invited me. I’ve never met her. What’s her name again?”

She turned in her seat and blinked at me. “Are you serious? You don’t know her name? Seriously?”

I signaled and pulled to a stop in front of vest-wearing guy standing on the sidewalk.

He walked over to my side of the car as I rolled my window down. “Name?”

“Hunter Adkins.”

He flipped through his clipboard, turned a page, then wrote something near the bottom of the page. “Leave the keys in the vehicle. You’ll need this to claim your car at the end of the night. Enjoy your evening.”

Both doors opened. Another guy helped Cheyenne to exit.

I stood and grabbed the ticket he offered while discreetly shoving a bill in his direction. He took it without a word.

As we walked toward the gate, I couldn’t help but think that my little Dodge Charger was going to feel like an imposter surrounded by so many Porsches and Lamborghinis.

And holy shit, was that a McLaren?

My Dodge Charger wasn’t the only imposter here.

Another guy opened the gate for us and gestured us through.

“What’s her name again?” I hissed in an aside to Cheyenne as we walked to the opulent front door.

“Phoebe. Phoebe Benoit. Have you been living under a rock or something? She’s all over socials and even signed a deal to be on the next season of Hollywood Housewives.”

“But we’re not in Hollywood, and Beau isn’t an actor.”

Cheyenne huffed in that annoyed way of hers I’d heard so many times. “It’s the allusion or whatever. You know, when things start with the same letter? That thing.”

I coughed into my hand to muffle the laugh that fought its way out. “Right. Thanks. I should’ve known.”

“Do. Not. Embarrass. Me,” she bit out just before the door opened at our approach.

I gritted my teeth. Pretty sure that was my line. But fuck it.

We were here.

Another vest-clad employee waved us inside and motioned to take Cheyenne’s bag.

Which is when it all went to shit.

“Oh hell no!” she screeched. “You are not taking my Birkin.”

Talk about fucking embarrassing. “They’re not robbing you. It’s coat check.”

“We do ask for you to hold onto your phones though.” The woman smiled kindly at us despite Cheyenne’s screeching. “Ms. Benoit encourages everyone to take pictures and videos tonight. Nothing is off limits.”

“Then I’m going to need my bag,” Cheyenne retorted in a condescending tone.

I closed my eyes for a beat while I wished for serenity.

Or a time machine to undo this awkward date.

After swallowing my own retort down, I gave the coat check woman a slight smile. “I guess we’re good then. Thank you.”

She inclined her head slightly, but I still saw a gleam in her eyes like maybe she was fighting tears.

Dammit.

I passed her a twenty before putting an arm around my annoying girlfriend and motioning to the room and noise beyond.

But Cheyenne wasn’t happy with me, either. She shook my arm off and gave me the look that was becoming her regular expression with me.

I huffed my own annoyance at her and let her walk on her own—three steps in front of me like she clearly wanted.

It was times like these that made me wonder why I put up with her bullshit.

She didn’t even give good head.

We got maybe five steps in when she grabbed a glass of champagne off a tray.

I set my jaw and grabbed my own from the tray.

Cheyenne was already halfway across the room, screeching at one of her friends, not that I could’ve picked the woman out of a lineup. Honestly, they were all starting to look the same—long hair, fake eyelashes, big lips. But for the hair color, her and Cheyenne could’ve been twins.

“Hunter! Hey! Good to see you,” Danny came over and we shook hands. “Did you bring your girlfriend?”

“Hey Danny. Uh, yeah. I brought someone. She’s here somewhere. Networking or whatever.” I lifted my glass in Cheyenne’s direction, her blonde head bent toward a gorgeous Black woman as she gestured with her champagne flute. That looked like an accident in the making.

“Right, right.” Danny nodded then lifted his highball and sipped. “Have you seen any of the guys yet?”

I shook my head. “Just got here.”

“Well hell. Let’s get you introduced to Beau, at a minimum. It’s his house, after all.”

I eyed the opulent décor, from the herringbone hardwood floor under us to the plaster ceiling with the matching beams overhead, every inch of Beau’s home was class and money. I tried not to drool. If this was a fraction of what I was in for, I was down.

Considering the way I’d grown up—the way my mom was still living—I wanted this life so bad, I could taste it.

Not that I showed it. Or at least I tried not to. Pretty sure my eyes bulged as we passed an honest to god marble statue in the living room. A statue! I’d never seen something like that outside of a museum.

My eyes might’ve lingered on the way the carved silk draped over the statue’s tits. It was so fucking gorgeous and intricate. And I was a breast man.

“Beau. Hey Beau!” Danny shouted, as he suddenly wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Got someone here you should meet!”

The bassist I’d watched so many times on videos and a handful of times on stage spun around, his long wavy hair flying around.

This time I knew my eyes bulged.

The guy was huge. Six foot four at least and built like a fucking brickhouse. He looked like he’d be at home with an ax and a flannel shirt with his muscles, crazy hair, and beard. So the Kiss t-shirt and cutoffs were a little confusing, especially when everyone else was so dressed up. The woman next to him was wearing a gown.

Beau tipped his head and held out his hand toward me. “Hey, I hear you’re killer on the skins.”

“That’s the dream.” I grinned back at him as I shook his hand, trying and failing to hide my wince.

Was this another test—could I withstand a handshake from Paul Bunyan?

But then he smiled slightly as he dropped his hand. “Yeah, sorry I wasn’t there last week. It’s been… Fuck, it’s been a month of a week, if you know what I mean.”

I scoffed. “Are you serious? Because ditto.”

Did I sound like a tool? I didn’t want to come off like a raving sycophant.

I could all but hear Cheyenne in my ear. ‘It’s giving desperation. Could you be more obvious?’

But Beau just laughed. “I can imagine. We’ll have to get together and play soon.”

“Yeah, sure.” I swallowed hard. “Sounds like fun.”

And not intimidating at all.

“Hey, while you’re both here, I’d like to introduce you to my daughter, Isabella.” He turned and reached out toward the curvy woman a few feet away before his arm fell to his side like he didn’t know if he should touch her.

That was his daughter? I’d assumed she was his wife.

She was fucking gorgeous. And so different from the rest of the women here, it was mesmerizing. Her blue baby doll dress showed off her spectacular tits before winnowing in at her waist, then flowing out and ending at mid-thigh. She was the picture of a voluptuous fertility goddess, which was apt because none of my thoughts were pure at the moment.

But it was her doe eyes that held me spellbound. They held a world of pain. All nerves and vulnerability. Like she was questioning her worth or something.

Fuck me.

I wanted to hold her tight and tell her everything was going to be okay.

And then maybe spank her ass for questioning her self-worth.

None of these were thoughts I should be having about my bandmate’s daughter.

“Hi.” I held my hand out to her. “I’m Hunter.”

She reached out for my hand when Cheyenne came crashing out of nowhere, knocking the goddess’ hand away as she all but climbed my body.

“Hunty! You’ll never guess who’s here!” she screeched, wiggling against me.

“Is it our host’s daughter? Because that’s who’s standing…” I looked over but she was already gone, her blue dress swinging behind her gorgeous ass as she headed for the bar set up in the corner.

I swung my eyes back to Beau, but he was wrapped up in the rail-thin brunette with huge tits hanging off him.

Leaning toward Cheyenne, I whispered, “Act like you know what manners are. You might not care, but I fucking do.”

“You think I didn’t see the way you were staring at her?” She leaned closer to me, her voice a menacing hiss. “So obvious. And disgusting. She’s a cow. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I jerked back, my eyes going to my goddess before bouncing to her father and my future bandmate.

Who was staring menacingly back at me.

Fuck my life.

Chapter 5

Izzy

Of course he had to be just as vapid as the rest of these morons.

I stepped toward the bartender. “Can you make an espresso martini?”

The cutie behind the bar nodded as his hands flew to the martini glasses and the liquors behind him. Glasses of champagne were literally everywhere, but I couldn’t make myself drink any of it. Maybe because the last time I drank some, it was with my mother. And somehow that felt like a betrayal at the moment.

I turned back to the crowd where I’d left my…I still didn’t know what to call him. Despite the rushed paternity test, it felt weird to call him dad. I hadn’t had a dad my entire life. Getting one suddenly at twenty-three hadn’t filled the hole in my soul like I’d long believed.

And having a wicked stepmother didn’t help, either.

Considering she was only five years older than me, she definitely wasn’t going to be a mother figure. It would just be nice if she was civil and not outwardly hostile toward me.

Not that Beau noticed. Her snide little comments earlier about my dress and therefore my body went right over his head.

This night was going to be an eternity.

“I would expect a gorgeous woman like you to be surrounded by gentlemen,” a deep voice rumbled behind me. “Or are you already taken?”

I spun around and gaped at the gorgeous man in front of me now. Eli St James. In the flesh. My mouth gaped open like a total moron.

His eyes glinted in amusement. “Everything okay, darlin’?”

“I-I-I, I’m such a huge fan. I don’t even know what to say.” My heart pounded in my ears, and it took all my willpower to get those words out. I really wasn’t capable of more.

He tilted his head as he smiled wolfishly down at me. “Well, it’s always good to meet a fan.”

I snorted. “Pretty sure you meet fans everywhere you go.”

I slapped a hand over my mouth. I just snorted in front of Eli St James. Oh god.

“One espresso martini,” the bartender murmured behind me. “Would you like a refill, sir?”

Eli St James shook his head. “I’m good, man. Thanks.”

I spun around to grab my drink. I took a big bracing gulp and felt my shoulders relax as the familiar tastes of coffee and vodka hit me. After licking at the foam coating my top lip, I sighed. The only thing that would make this better was if Alexis was here with me.

She’d get it—my evil stepmother, this anxiety about Beau, and the craziness of tonight.

Unlike everyone else here.

“That good, darlin’?” Eli St James rumbled behind me. “Maybe I should order one, too.”

My eyes widened. How had I forgot about him? I guess I’d kinda assumed he’d moved on like the bearded blond guy Beau had tried to introduce me to.

Picking up my drink, I turned and held it out. “Do you want a sip first if you’re on the fence?”

His eyes never left my face, and after a beat he slowly shook his head. “Nah, I’ll wait until I get the chance to sip it from where I really want to taste it.”

It was such a line, but it’d been effective. My cheeks heated as I blinked dazedly back at him. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he echoed. He stepped toward me and reached a hand out. “Maybe now you could tell me your name. Or I could just keep calling you darlin’ if you’d like.”

“I, it’s Izzy. My name, that is. But you can call me whatever you want.” I closed my eyes and winced. “I mean, I like the way you say darlin’.”

I felt so stupid, but it was true. That southern drawl and velvety tone made me all weak in the knees.

And the brain too apparently.

But Eli St James just laughed. “Darlin’ it is.” His lips quirked like he was fighting a smile—no doubt at my expense. “I haven’t seen you around here. Did you come with someone?”

I pressed my lips together and went for the truth—ish. “I’m here with family.”

“So you’re single…?”

“As a Pringle,” came out of my mouth before my brain could catch up, and I winced again. Judging by the muffled laughter behind me at the bar, everyone heard that.

But Eli St James just chuckled lightly. “Just checking. I’d rather not throw down tonight. Need to keep the face pretty for a video shoot this week.” He tilted his head. “I think we’re still looking for a vixen to play my love interest…”

Was he seriously offering me a casting couch ‘opportunity’?

Ick.

I drew back in revulsion, but before I could verbalize my disgust, a slender blonde—different from the one before—appeared out of thin air and wrapped herself around Eli St James.

“There you are, baby. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Eli St James took a whole step back from me as his eyes cooled dramatically. “Just waiting to get a refill, babe. The bar has been slammed. Did you want anything?”

The blonde’s eye flicked toward me then away. “Hmm, get me a skinny margarita. I have an audition Friday. Can’t show up all bloated and huge.”

I felt myself shrinking, my shoulders rounded and slumped down. She might as well as said ‘not like this elephant here.’

“Gotcha, babe.” Eli St James stepped around me like we hadn’t been flirting a few seconds earlier. “Barkeep! Another for me and a skinny marg for the wife.”

Wife?! What the frick?

Admittedly, I wasn’t up to date on my celebrity gossip, but he’d been flirting with me and married?!

“Sorry.” The blonde bared her teeth at me in a lion-esque snarl. “He’s taken, honey.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You might want to tell him that. Or maybe get him checked for dementia, because he didn’t know that a few minutes ago.”

I don’t know where that fire had come from, but I was proud of myself for finding it.

I just wished I’d tossed the rest of my drink on him before I left.

Especially since it was hitting my stomach like acid suddenly.

I set my glass down on a side table and headed for a bathroom. I needed a minute to get myself together. This was turning into a clusterfuck of a night.

I was questioning why I even came to LA. Beau had sold it as an opportunity to get to know one another, but I hadn’t spent more than five minutes with him since we’d arrived at his palatial home. He’d been busy with meetings with lawyers, the step-monster, and whatever else was going on in his life—I wouldn’t know since I never saw him. I’d spent the past few days wandering his tomb of a house and dodging the step-monster.

But apparently my time was up.

I stepped out of the restroom I’d found on the other side of the house, and she was waiting for me.

“Did you seriously throw yourself at Eli St James?” The step-monster crossed her emaciated arms over her surgically-enhanced and gravity-defying chest. The long nail on her index finger tapped her tanned arm rhythmically. “Do you know how embarrassing that is to me? To his wife? I’ve been trying to get Clover St James on my socials for months. You just blew up my whole approach.”

“Maybe someone needs to have this talk with Eli because he came onto me. I didn’t even know he was married.”

“Keep dreamin’, Isabella.” She sneered. “Their wedding was the event of the summer last month. It was all over the news and the tabloids. And I’m sorry, but there’s no way he would’ve hit on you. I mean, look at you.” She scoffed.

I shook my head. She’d been snarky so far, but never this overtly hostile. “Are you calling me a liar?”

“And fat, honey. Keep up.”

“Oh my god. You’re a nightmare. I don’t, I can’t…” Tears burned my eyes. It wasn’t even because she was being so insane. I just really, really wanted my mom. Missed her. Didn’t know how I was going to get through the rest of my life without her. She always knew what to say to me when I’d been faced with bullies. She’d always held me and loved me and just let me be…me.

And I’d never have that again.

Step-monster was the personification of everything that was wrong with my life. Starting and ending with the loss of my mom.

But I didn’t know how to put all that into words.

Dashing away the tears threatening to fall, it was my turn to scoff. “Yeah. I think we’re done here.”

And by ‘here’ I meant LA.

“Oh, we’re not done until I say so, little girl. Or I guess I should say not-so-little girl.” Her top lip curled in a snarl like what was standing in front of her—AKA me—was so beneath her.

A man cleared his throat.

Phoebe’s eyes widened, and she whirled around. Over her shoulder, I saw the blond guy from earlier standing a few feet away.

“Right.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable. “I think I got turned around looking for a restroom. I’m guessing this isn’t the way.”

Phoebe’s whole persona changed. She smiled coquettishly at him and practically purred. “I’ll be more than happy to show you the way. Follow me, sweetie.”

“Or you could use this one,” I pointed out.

Blond guy’s eyes bounced between me and Phoebe before he took a step toward me. “I’m good with right here.”

I don’t know why, but it felt like a win against the step-monster. And judging by the huff she gave before flouncing down the hall away from us and back to the party, she took it as a loss too.

Shaking my head, I stepped away from the bathroom and gestured to the door magnanimously. “All yours. Do you know the way back or do you need an escort?”

“I wouldn’t turn down an escort. I think we’re in a different area code here. This place is cavernous.”

“I know, right?” I laughed weakly. “I was tempted to leave myself a breadcrumb trail the first few nights.”

His head tilted like he wanted to ask something, but he didn’t say anything and just stepped into the restroom. I shrugged.

Stepping a few feet away from the door to give him some privacy, I leaned my head against the opposite wall and contemplated my existence. Was it worth staying in LA? Should I book a flight home to Seattle? I really wanted to get to know Beau, but I’d spent more time with the housekeeper at this point. Hell, I’d spent more time with the step-monster—all against my will, by the way.

I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but Beau was always busy with something or someone else. He didn’t seem to have much time for me.

The bathroom door opened and blond guy turned off the light before stepping into the hall. “Thanks for waiting.”

I shrugged. “Got nothing else to do. Might leave after I show you back to the party, actually.”

“Oh? You don’t live here?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s complicated.”

He tipped his head toward the ground and didn’t say anything for a few beats. His presence was oddly comforting, considering I didn’t even know his name. “I’m guessing you and what’s-her-name don’t get along.”

“Got it in one. I call her the step-monster—in my head, I mean. I’m not brave enough to say it to her face.”

“Fitting.” He laughed softly. “I just met her, but I’m not a fan. Especially considering the way she was treating you. You don’t deserve that, Iz. Does your dad know how she talks to you?”

I swallowed and looked away. “No offense, but I’m not comfortable talking about this with you. I mean, I don’t even know your name.”

“Right. Sorry. It’s Hunter, by the way. We didn’t get to really meet earlier.”

“Because your girlfriend jumped in your arms.” I snapped my fingers before shaking my head in disappointment. I don’t know how I’d forgotten about his girlfriend. So typical of my night tonight—and apparently all the assholes I’d met in LA. So stupid. “We should probably get you back to her.”

“Doubt she’s even noticed I’m gone, but sure. Lead the way. Let’s get you another espresso martini. I think we both could use a drink.” He gestured to the hall beyond.

I nodded and fell in step with him as we walked back toward the party.

But as we entered the room, it hit me. I’d got my drink after our failed introduction and left it back in the living room before the whole step-monster debacle.

So how did he know I’d been drinking an espresso martini?

Chapter 6

Hunter

It killed me when Iz walked away after showing me back to the party. Something about her drew me to her. Maybe it was because she seemed to be the only woman here without those weird-ass fake eyelashes. Maybe it was because I’d always loved a full-figured woman—despite my present date. Maybe it was because she wasn’t hiding the pain in her eyes as much as she no doubt thought. The first time I looked in her doe eyes, the sight took my breath away. I wanted to know why she was hurting. Maybe offer to kiss it and make it better.

Not that she’d ever give me the chance.

And not that I would’ve asked since I came here with Cheyenne. I might get urges and attraction to other women, but I knew how to keep it in my pants.

Unlike Cheyenne, apparently.

Somehow in the five minutes I’d been gone, she’d wormed her way so close to Ryker O’Keeffe she was all but sitting in his lap on the sofa. Which was awkward since Ryker was the Licks’ keyboardist.

AKA my new bandmember.

Awesome.

But then I saw the way he shifted on the couch, trying to put more distance between him and Cheyenne. He clearly didn’t want anything to do with her and was moments away from dumping her ass on the ground if she didn’t back off.

Perfect. Fuck me.

“Cheyenne!” I barked above and behind them.

She jumped like she’d been goosed and spun around to blink wide-eyed at me.

“Oh, hi, baby,” she purred like she hadn’t been all over someone else.

I turned to Ryker. “Sorry, man.”

He raised his palms in that universal signal of innocence. “Not looking for drama.”

“Ditto.” I sighed heavily before raising my eyebrows at my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend. “You got two choices here, Shy. You can either leave without a scene and call yourself a ride home or I’ll cart you out of here over my shoulder and dump you on the curb in front of your place.” I bared my teeth in an ugly smile. “Dealer’s choice.”

“Oh, we are so over,” she snarled before standing up and carefully adjusting her short skirt.

“Weird. I thought you already came to that conclusion considering you were crawling all over Ryker here. Without his consent, by the way.”

“Fuck off, Hunter. Everyone knows you’re a loser who’s not going anywhere. Just another wannabe drummer without a band. Should’ve scraped you off months ago.” Flicking her hair in my face with a twist of her hand, her lips curled in a snarl. “Fuck you very much. Loser.”

With another huff, she stomped away…well, as much as her spindly heels and rail thin legs would let her.

Groaning, I collapsed onto the couch next to Ryker. “Fuck. Sorry about that.”

“Eh, entertainment is always hard to come by at these things, so I guess I owe you a thank you.” He tried and failed to muffle his laughter with a cough.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m just glad you don’t have a girl here. Because I don’t think that would’ve stopped her. And I’d really hate to have to clean up blood at Beau’s house.” I groaned and scrubbed at my eyes. “What a shitty impression I’m making on all you all.”

“Sounds like I missed something because that was just a day that ends in y around here. Something you wanna tell me?”

I sat back against the sofa and considered my words carefully. “What’s going on with Beau’s daughter and his wife? I’ve seen some shit in my day, but I’ve never seen a stepmother be so outwardly hostile to her step-daughter. Is there some bad blood there or something?”

Ryker muttered a curse and rubbed his face. “Shit, I was worried about that. What happened?”

“I was too far away to hear it all, but I definitely heard her call Isabella fat. Which she’s not. I mean…” I sighed. “Let’s just say it wasn’t a pretty scene. And I might’ve sided with Isabella which pissed what’s-her-name off. What is her name again?”

“Phoebe. And she’s…a lot.” Ryker sighed again. “Poor kid. First her mom and now she’s got to live with—” He raised his eyebrows and darted a quick look around for eavesdroppers. “Yeah. So Beau never knew he had a daughter. They met just last week—at her mom’s funeral. That’s why he missed your audition. He did a quickie paternity test then brought her back here. She seems like a good kid. But she’s been through it, ya know?”

I grunted in reply. That explained the naked pain in her eyes. She’d lost her entire world and then got dropped in this snake pit? Fuck. “And Beau’s fine with how his wife is acting?”

“Kinda thought you figured that part out by now, considering how your last band imploded.” Ryker’s lips quirked. “You don’t ever fuck with a bandmate’s wife.” Ryker delivered the line deadpanned but laughter lit up his eyes.

“Fuck off.” I sat back on the sofa in a bounce, only mildly pissed off. “For the record, I wasn’t the one fucking with her. That was all Gabe. Fucker has a god complex.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of a thing with lead singers.” His head bobbed as his fingers tapped out notes on his knee only he could hear.

The question about my new lead singer burned my tongue, but I didn’t ask it. I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers and talking shit about our bandmates was a definite asshole move. I was already walking a thin line with what I’d said about Beau so far. I didn’t want to rock the boat.

“So who’s all wifed up?” I finally asked. “I know Beau is, but is anyone else? You got a girl?”

Ryker moved his shoulders. “Well, you probably know about Mal’s wife, Saylor. It was all over the news when she got kidnapped at the airport a couple months ago.”

I nodded. Yeah, that had made national news. Eloping with a rock star and then an ex holding you hostage at an international airport was huge news. “She’s okay, though, right? I mean, that was so fucked up.”

“She is. Mal was fucking rocked by it, but they’re doing better now.”

“That’s good.”

Ryker grunted as he shifted on the couch. “Beau’s married, obviously.” He nodded to where Phoebe was currently holding court near the buffet, although Beau was nowhere to be seen. “Leif’s never been married. He’s had a few long-term girls but never gone down the aisle.”

“And you?”

He shifted his shoulders. “Divorced. Once. And once was enough for me.”

“Right.” It was a common sentiment among my friends. Once burned and all that.

“And you?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

I laughed. “I would’ve thought meeting Cheyenne was a little more memorable than that. I mean, you almost dumped her on the floor and all. Now I’m single as a Pringle.”

He laughed with me. “Obviously I remember her. I meant have you ever taken the plunge?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Not really keen on the institution.”

“Eh, you’re young. You’ve got time. Just make sure you pick a good one.”

I laughed lightly. “You all talk like I’m a kid. Leif was doing it during my audition—I’m in my thirties for Chrissake.”

“Aww, you’ve just guaranteed your nickname for life, kid.” Ryker grinned at me like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

“Fuck,” I muttered.

“What’s wrong, kid?” Leif asked as he collapsed on the sofa between me and Ryker.

That just made Ryker laugh harder.

“Fuck me,” I grumbled, shaking my head.

“What’s so funny?” Leif asked, frowning. “What’d I miss?”

That shit-eating grin was never gonna leave Ryker’s face. “Just giving the kid the lay of the land. He was asking about Isabella. I guess Phoebe’s been giving her a hard time.”

“Shit.” Leif took a sip of his old-fashioned glass. “That’s not good. Poor kid.”

“See now that makes sense.” I pointed a finger over my beer at them. “She’s twenty-ish years younger than all you. So she’s a kid to you guys. But I’m only—”

The rest of my argument was drowned out by the guys’ groans.

“Come on!”

“Give it up already.”

“Sounds like I’m missing the real party over here.” Mal suddenly appeared, pulling a dining chair in his wake with wife in tow. He set the chair down in front of the couch opposite us. After collapsing on it in a display of loose-limbed grace, a beat later he pulled his wife down onto his lap, careful not to jostle either of their drinks. “What’d we miss?”

“The kid here doesn’t want to be called kid.” Leif gestured to me with his drink, his expression all smug and condescending.

Fucking lead singers, man.

I shook my head. “It’s…whatever. Call me whatever you want. I don’t care.”

The guys all hooted.

“Try telling your face that!” Ryker laughed.

I just sighed and took another pull of my beer. I’d be damned before I fed into this bullshit anymore.

But I couldn’t deny that I liked the camaraderie we were building. I’d missed this the last few months on the road with my old band. The cracks had started to show months before, and it’d only been a matter of time before we’d imploded.

For a minute I’d worried I’d never have this again. It felt so fucking good.

But tenuous.

“Hey, no one mentioned a band meeting,” Beau rumbled behind me.

A few seconds later, he was pulling up another chair and expanding our little circle.

“Phee is going to kill me for hogging all the stars here tonight, but fuck it.” Beau groaned as he collapsed onto his chair. “I’m tired of being ‘on.’ Ya know?”

The other guys nodded, but I just listened. No one here knew who I was. Being the drummer in a one hit wonder band didn’t get me much recognition. Or any, really.

“Speaking of on…” Leif smirked and jerked his head my way. “Have you two even met?”

Beau blinked in my direction. “Yeah, Danny introduced him earlier. Hunter, right?”

I nodded, tipping my beer toward him.

Leif’s lip curled like that wasn’t the reaction he’d been hoping for. “Fine, fine. So I take it all the paperwork has been signed? Everyone has signed?”

All the guys in our circle nodded.

“Good. I guess all that’s left is practicing.” Leif narrowed his eyes like he was deep in thought.

“We can use my place,” Mal offered. “Since we want to keep things on the downlow for now. No one’s gonna notice who’s coming and going there since you all are regulars—well except for the kid.”

I slow blinked, determined not to react to their cute nickname for me.

“I got no issues with that,” Ryker agreed.

Leif shrugged. “Me neither.”

Beau scrubbed at his face, muffling his groan. “I just don’t know when I’m going to find time to spend with Izzy. Fuck, if it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

“We’re not saying we’re gonna move in with him,” Ryker pointed out. “It’s only a couple of hours a day.”

“Six, tops,” Leif put in.

Beau didn’t look relieved. If anything, his scowl drew deeper. “Yeah, but Phee has a whole schedule planned out for the next month. I mean, obviously I’ll make practice time work, but I don’t know how I’m going to fit in Izzy, too.”

“That’s tough, man.” Mal snuggled into Saylor’s breasts.

The guys all muttered their agreement, but no one offered a tangible solution.

Prioritize your daughter?

Bring her with you?

No one came up with anything.

Unable to let it go, I finally spoke up. “Do you have a practice room here?”

Beau shrugged. “We’ve never hung out here, really.”

“What about your library?” Leif leaned forward, bracing his arms on his knees.

“That could work.” Beau nodded.

I shrugged. “You’ll have more time with Isabella if you’re not stuck in traffic two plus hours a day.”

“You all wouldn’t mind?” Beau looked around the circle. “I know you were wanting to spend more time with Saylor, Mal. Is this okay with you two?”

Saylor hitched a shoulder. “It’s fine with me. I’ll be busy myself anyways. I, uh, got an internship with Russo Designs. Mal hooked me up.”

Leif grinned. “Congrats.”

“That’s great,” Ryker said.

Saylor blushed, her shoulders coming up almost even with her ears. “It’s whatever. Nepotism, really. But I’m excited. The next school year doesn’t start for months, and I want to do…something. But yeah, don’t worry about me. I’ll have plenty to keep me occupied over the next few weeks.”

Mal jostled her in his lap before murmuring something in her ear that made her whole body flush red. After kissing her temple, he turned back to the group. “I’m down with practicing here.”

“Great.” Beau looked around the circle at each of us. “You guys will have to bring your own instruments. I only have guitars and bass guitars. And a harmonica.”

“Not a problem.” I shrugged. “I’d rather play on my own kit anyhow.”

“Ditto.” Ryker lifted his chin.

“Great,” Beau repeated. “This’ll definitely help me out. Thanks, kid.”

I groaned and closed my eyes while the rest of the guys jeered around me.

Beau laughed. “What’d I miss?”

Chapter 7

Izzy

I was over LA, over Beau, and way over the step-monster. This whole trip had been a mistake, and I was going home.

A wave of grief hit me at the thought of home. Because it wasn’t really home anymore. Hadn’t felt like home since she collapsed at work and had never come home again. It was just an empty shell now.

Kinda like me.

Maybe I could go to Alexis’ house again. Hang with her family. Pretend like everything was normal there because I sure as hell couldn’t do it here.

“Oomph. What the hell?” Beau’s sudden exclamation tore me from my morose thoughts.

And I winced. So much for a clean getaway.

“What the hell, Izzy? You’re leaving?” My…bio whatever stood over my bag and swung his pained eyes my way. “I thought, I mean…”

Groaning, I avoided his hurt stare as I scrubbed at my own aching eyes. I’d spent way too much time crying last night to let his sudden presence sway me. “I was going to text you.”

“Text me,” he repeated flatly.“ I don’t get it. I thought you wanted to spend some time together, get to know each other. I want you in my life, Izzy.”

“You have a really shitty way of showing it,” I burst out, unable to control myself. “I haven’t seen you for more than five minutes since we got off your plane. You’re always busy. And I get it—you have a life. But so do I. And I’m going to get back to it because you don’t seem to give a shit that I’m here.”

He sighed and shook his head before perching on the arm of a nearby sofa. “I know I’ve disappointed you. I’ve disappointed myself. But I really don’t want you to leave.” He tipped his head and stared unabashedly at me, his eyes soft and maybe full of regret? “I’ve got a lot to make up to you, and I know this feels like lip service at this point, but I’m going to do better. I will make you a priority and spend some time with you—every day. I promise.”

Against my will, I felt my resolve weakening at the gentle expression in his eyes combined with his words. To have a mountain man like him look at me like that…felt impactful. Like he was serious.

Like I meant something to him.

“I can’t do another night like last night.” I swallowed and looked away from him. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—bad mouth his wife to him. I knew that wouldn’t win me any points. “I don’t fit in here. And I really don’t care about all those fake people. I’m here to spend time with you—no one else.”

I ached to tell him what I really thought about the step-monster, the horrible words she’d said…but I couldn’t. I’d been in this position so many times in the past—with teachers, coaches, the very people who were supposed to support me. Most refused to hear the truth, chalked it up to my sensitive feelings, and didn’t want to believe people could be so ugly about superficial things.

But I knew. I’d lived it.

And besides, I didn’t really trust him yet.

“Acknowledged.” Beau nodded. “I’ve moved some stuff around, and the guys will be coming here every day for practice. I’d love if you hung out with us some. But really, we made the change so I’ll have more time with you and less time sitting in traffic. I swear I’m making you a priority, Izzy. I’m fucking thrilled to have you in my life, and I’m going to work like hell until you feel the same way about me.”

I wanted to believe his words…but so far his actions hadn’t measured up. “I’ll…” I sighed. “I’ll stay. I’ll give you another chance. But this is the last one.”

He nodded firmly. “Gotchu.”

“And I was serious about the Hollywood party thing.” I shook my head. “I didn’t like it. It wasn’t fun. I just want to hang out with you. I want to get to know my father. I don’t care about all the pomp and fame and fake bullshit.”

For the first time this morning, he sent me a genuine grin. “Same, kiddo. I hate that shit too.”

I smiled back at him. “Do you have time for breakfast? I can make some eggs or something?”

“No.”

My heart fell, but then he continued.

“I’m going to make you breakfast. That’s a dad thing to do, right?”

I shrugged. I’d never had one, so what did I know?

He clapped and stood up. “What do you like? Eggs? Pancakes? Hashbrowns? I can probably find some steak.”

“Oh wow. How about we start simple? Eggs, bacon, and toast?”

“Deal.” Beau walked toward me then paused awkwardly like he wanted to reach out toward me but didn’t know how. “Uh, yeah. Let’s go.”

I smiled then walked with him to the kitchen. After climbing onto a barstool at the center massive island, I watched as he paced around the kitchen. He moved with grace despite his huge body. His curly hair bounced as he ducked down to look in the bottom cabinets for a pan.

“How do you like your eggs?” he asked as he set the pan on the fancy stovetop.

“However you want to cook them.” I shrugged then folded my arms on the marble countertop. Honestly, I was afraid to touch anything. It was all so shiny and expensive looking from the sleek black cabinets to the white marble countertops and continuous backsplash to the glossy light oak floors. It was so far from my mom’s eighties kitchen with the orange oak cabinets and tile countertops I felt completely out of place here.

The past few days I’d just eaten whatever Carmen made for me and felt grateful I didn’t have to fend for myself.

“That’s not an answer,” Beau grumbled. He set bacon out on the countertop and grabbed a spatula before turning to me with a frown. “How am I supposed to get to know you if you’re not going to tell me anything? Egg preference isn’t a huge secret, is it?”

“I just don’t want to put you out. Scrambled is okay.”

“A people pleaser.” He grunted before pointing at me with the spatula. “You definitely don’t get that from your mother. Now seriously, how do you like your eggs? Welcome to Chez Benoit. I’m Beau and will be your waiter and cook this morning. What can I get you?”

I giggled. I couldn’t help it. It was so ridiculous to see my big, tough…bio dad be so silly. “Over medium and crispy bacon please.”

“That’s more like it. And same. I hate flaccid bacon.” His top lip curled in disgust, and I giggled some more. “What about toast? What kind of bread do you like?”

“Do you have sourdough?”

He tipped his head. “I’ll see what we have, but I’ll let Carmen know to buy some.”

“I’m not really a fan of the twigs and nuts kinda bread. But it’ll do in a pinch.”

“Noted. We don’t eat a lot of bread here, but maybe Carmen has a stash somewhere.” He ducked into the butler’s pantry, and I heard some rustling before he cried, “Eureka! I knew she had some hidden in here.”

A beat later, he came back into the kitchen holding a bag of bread aloft.

I grinned back at him, feeling light-hearted at his playfulness.

Twenty minutes later we were crunching on bacon and sopping up runny egg yolk with sourdough toast.

“So, can I ask what’s your deal?” Beau asked out of the blue—and while I had a mouthful of toast.

Once I swallowed, I coughed lightly and asked, “What do you mean by deal?”

“Are you seeing someone? Is there a man in your life I should be standing over threateningly? Or woman, whatever. I’m not a bigot. But some punk kid who doesn’t deserve you?”

I laughed uncomfortably. “Nope. No someone in my life currently.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” Beau tipped his head. “I just realized I don’t even know what you do. What’s your degree in? Do you have a job currently?”

“I followed in Mom’s footsteps. I have a BS in Atmospheric Science from the University of Colorado Boulder, and I’m currently getting my masters at the University of Washington back home in Seattle. So no full-time job right now, but I was hoping to get my foot in the door at NOAA since Mom worked there for so long…”

That achingly familiar wave hit me again and had me pushing my plate away. Tears sheened my eyes, and I swallowed hard. I didn’t know if I could ever go back really. School and my future career were intrinsically tied to my mom…and so many memories of her. Her in the lab, working away on a computer. Her holding her own against her coworkers in her office. Her guest speaking for my school. It was so painful I couldn’t breathe for a minute.

“You definitely got your brains from her.” Beau laughed suddenly. “I barely graduated high school. Really I only did because I was so afraid of my mom. That woman would kick my ass up and down the hall when she’d found out I’d skipped class because I was a stupid hungover kid. I deserved it really.”

I smiled despite the child abuse of it all. His story helped ground me. Took away the pain of my loss for a minute, and I appreciated it.

“Is she still with you?” I asked softly, almost afraid to know the answer. Either option was frightening really.

“Yup.” Beau nodded. “I, uh, haven’t exactly told her about you just yet. Kinda working up the nerve, honestly. She’s…intimidating to say the least. I know this will be a disappointment for her, so I’m not exactly looking forward to that conversation.”

“Oh.” I dragged my fork through my remaining egg yolk and stared down at the carnage.

“Whoa! I didn’t mean it like that. She’s going to love you. She’s going to be disappointed in me. That we missed out on so much of your life. But I bet the second I tell her, she’ll be on a plane to come meet you.”

That sounded…nice. And definitely intimidating. “I’m okay if you want to put it off for a little longer. So me and you can spend some time together first.”

“Thanks, kiddo. I appreciate it.”

I smiled down at my plate and dipped my toast into the yolk. There was this fragile harmony between us, and I was afraid of stepping wrong and ruining it.

But apparently the step-monster didn’t have similar inhibitions.

Or the ability to read a room.

“Beau! I’ve been yelling for you for forever. What the hell?” Phoebe suddenly screeched from the other side of the kitchen.

We both jolted at her shrilled, annoyed cry.

Beau tossed me a worried glance then stood up from his barstool. “Phoebe, what’s going on?”

“That’s what I want to know.” She flounced into the room wearing a thin satin robe lined in billowy feathers, her hair in rollers (I did not know people still used those!) and gold under-eye masks adorning her face.

It was a lot. And impossible to look away from.

She waved her cell phone in his face. “You haven’t been answering your phone, and someone keeps buzzing the gate to get in. Clearly, I’m not going to let them in. Who’s here? What the hell is going on?”

She turned her accusing stare on me like I was the source of all the problems in her life.

“Shit. Sorry, Beebee.” Beau slapped at his jean’s pockets, looking and failing to find his cell phone. “I’ll let him in.”

“Who. Is. Here.” The waves of rage rolling off her were almost visible.

I averted my gaze, afraid of getting hit in the crossfire.

But apparently Beau had no such fear. “The guys are coming over for practice.”

“And you didn’t think to let me know? At least warn me? I can’t see them like this!” She ended in a shriek.

“What does that matter? They’re not here to see you.”

“Are you serious? I’m about up to here—” She stabbed a hand across her throat. “With your bullshit. From your surprise daughter to your fucking surprise band practices, it’s so fucking ridiculous. I’m over it.”

“Whoa, don’t you dare say a fucking word about Izzy. She doesn’t deserve an ounce of your anger. If you’re mad at me, aim it at me. Leave her out of it.”

At this point, I carefully stood up and edged toward the door to the living room. They clearly needed some time alone.

“I can’t even talk to you without her barging in!” Phoebe shrieked, pointing at me.

I froze mid-shuffle, so close and yet so far from the door.

“Are you still drunk from last night?” Beau laughed incredulously. “She was in here with me before you even came in. I’ll buzz the guys in at the gate, and you can go back to whatever you were doing before. What the hell is the issue here?”

Phoebe gave a strangled cry then fled the room in a flurry of tears, curlers, and feathers.

Beau sent me a look then shook his head and followed her.

I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying but clearly the argument continued.

Sighing, I headed for the living room but stopped short when the front door ripped open.

“Hello?” a masculine voice called before a familiar face peeked into the room.

I turned and stopped short. “You.”

Chapter 8

Hunter

“You.”

The accusatory tone in that singular word had me freezing in place. What the hell? Between the bright sunshine outside and the dim interior, I had a hard time focusing on the source. Cautiously pushing the door open more, I found my goddess from last night—AKA Beau’s daughter—standing on the far side of the room.

Right.

This was awkward.

“Yeah. Me.” Shaking my head, I grabbed my cylindrical black nylon Tom bag and carried it over the threshold. “Do you know where we’re setting up?”

“But you’re not in the band.”

I definitely wasn’t imagining the biting tone.

Not up for an argument this early in the morning, I shook my head and answered, “Okay.”

She blinked a few times like she hadn’t expected that answer.

“Do you know where we’re practicing? Someone said something about a library…?”

But she just continued to stand there with a surprised expression.

“Right. While you think about that, I’m going to grab the rest of my kit.” Leaving my tom bag next to the door, I headed back to my Charger to grab another bag. This time I strapped my cymbal bag to my back, grabbed the bass drum bag in my left hand, and the hardware bag in my right. I stomped back to the front door and left my haul next to the singular tom bag. One more trip and my car was empty, but Beau’s front room was not.

And Isabella still stood there with her arms crossed over her delicious chest. Not that I was going to look…much. Fuck. Bandmate’s daughter, I reminded myself crossly.

“Library?” I bit out when she still didn’t say anything.

She flinched. “I, uh, don’t know really. I’ve only been here a few days. There’s, uh, a room with a desk and some books, maybe that’s it?”

I barely held back my eyeroll. Stomping across the room toward the hallway she’d indicated, I suddenly tripped over something. And I damn near went down.

My arms—full of bags and my bass stand—flailed.

And then she was next to me. Propping me up. Her tits literally under my nose, all supple skin and sweet smelling fragrance. Something fruity and sweet.

“Oomph,” she murmured. “Are you okay?”

I blinked at her for a beat then all but leapt away from her soft, curvy body. “What? Yeah. Just tripped.”

She winced. “Sorry about that. I’ll pick them up for you.” She bent down and grabbed a purse, a small bag, and a whole roller suitcase. “Didn’t know anyone was coming.”

“Are you going somewhere?” I don’t want to admit that I felt a pang at the thought of her leaving. Not that we were going to… Bandmate’s daughter.

Off limits.

“Uh, no. I mean, I was going to but—”

A car horn blared, interrupting her. Then a phone chimed in the depths of her purse.

“Crap. I forgot to cancel the car.” Bending over her bags, she pulled her phone out and tapped at the screen.

I tried and failed not to notice how amazing her ass looked in her tight jeans—all heart-shaped and fucking perfect. So different from the dress last night but still just as delicious.

“What the fuck, Izzy?” Beau suddenly bellowed from down a hallway. “You called a car?”

She stood up with a gasp, and her gaze bobbed between me and her old man. “I got distracted and forgot to cancel it.”

“Right.” Beau shook his head and came into the room with his hand out in a fist. “Hunter, man. I swear, shit isn’t usually so crazy around here.”

I bumped my fist holding my bass stand against his then shrugged. “No problem. We were just trying to figure out which room is the library. Izzy wasn’t exactly sure.”

“Phee didn’t give you the tour?”

Izzy pressed her lips together and shook her head wordlessly.

“Right.” Beau slow blinked. “We’ll be fixing that later. Sorry, kiddo.”

Iz shrugged like she wanted the attention off of her.

Meanwhile I was imagining her voluptuous body poured into one of those burlesque costumes—all corseted lace, feathers, and skin.

So much gorgeous skin.

“Hunter!” Beau barked. “You okay, man?”

I shook my head. “Yeah. Sorry. Just a bit early for me.”

“I know. We’re not supposed to meet for another hour.”

I winced. “I wanted to set up my kit so you all weren’t waiting on me. And I was eager, I guess.”

“I get it, kid, I get it. It’s not a bad thing. Let me help you out.” He grabbed the stand out of my hand and tipped his head toward the hallway he’d came from. “It’s down here.”

I nodded and took two steps after him before I stopped and turned back to Iz. “Thanks for the help, princess.”

Because that was what she was—Beau’s daughter, a rock princess, and the very definition of forbidden.

And it would do me good to remember it.

Thirty minutes later, I had my kit set up the way I wanted. Beau had wandered off to do something with his old lady. I didn’t ask. Just thinking about her pissed me off. So when the door opened, I was expecting Beau or maybe another bandmember.

Seeing Iz pop her head into the room, I was surprised.

“Ah, have you seen my er, Beau lately?”

I shook my head. “He went to check in on his wife a while ago.”

She pulled a face that had me chuckling, because same. Like I’d said, just thinking about her pissed me off.

“Yeah, princess. I’m not her biggest fan, either.” Then I sobered. “Not that I’m going to tell your dad that.”

She shrugged like she didn’t care. “Ditto. Uh, do you need anything? Water? Whiskey?”

“Nah, but thanks.”

She nodded again, waited a beat, and then slowly backed away, softly closing the door.

I sighed as I picked up my sticks. Something about her pained doe eyes and hesitant attitude made me want to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. But then there was all that fire and sass she’d shown me this morning. I muffled a groan and shifted on my stool. If I had to pick one, it’d definitely be the latter. Her bossing me around and looking all confident with those tits.

Fuck, I had to stop thinking like that.

I’d mostly got myself under control by the time the rest of the guys showed up.

Ryker was next to me, setting up his keyboard, Beau and Mal were drooling over Beau’s guitar collection, and Leif was going through some paperwork in a backpack he’d brought. Probably had a whole plan cooked up of how he was going to fuck with my head. He seemed to enjoy the power trip of being the lead singer.

But I was determined to swallow anything and everything he threw my way. I was the new guy. I still had to earn their respect. And I desperately wanted to keep my spot. The upcoming vote and their NDA made it clear: I was replaceable. For the next year, I was a contract gig drummer.

It was up to me to change their minds. To be worthy of being a Lick.

“Here you go, kid.” Leif appeared in front of me while I’d been deep in my mental peptalk. “I got all our sheet music together for you.”

Surprised, I dropped my sticks to take the papers from him. “I, uh, thanks, man.”

Leif tipped his head. “You shocked the hell out of me with how well you know most of our songs. And I really like your sound. You’ve got a crisp style. It’s sweet.”

“Thanks,” I repeated like a tool. Honestly, this was coming out of left field. I’d been expecting the asshole from my audition. I didn’t really know what to say to Nice Leif.

“Just don’t fuck it up.” He pointed at me with a finger gun. “We got a lot riding on you working out, kid.”

Ah, there was the Leif I knew.

I snorted. “No pressure.”

“All right, children!” Leif shouted. “Let’s get this show on the road before the wives start rioting.”

“Fuck off,” Mal scoffed, shaking his head. “You know you’re just jealous. You wish you had a quality woman like mine back home in your bed.”

“Fuck no.” Leif laughed. “Your woman scares the shit out of me.”

“Didn’t stop you from fucking with her bestie.” And just like that, all the levity from earlier had been sucked out of the room.

Beau waved his hands. “All right you two, take your corners. Nothing productive is gonna get done if you two are busy pissing on your territory.” He shoved Mal toward the other side of the room. “Probably a good thing we didn’t practice at your house, buddy. He can’t fuck with her friend if he’s not tripping over her all the fucking time.”

Mal just grunted and kept his eyes on Leif the entire time he walked across the room and picked up his guitar.

Whew. Nothing like some good old fashioned band hostilities.

I knew this had been too good to be true.

“She threw herself at me,” Leif protested, lifting his hands in a display of innocence. “Not my fault.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Mal bit out. “It’s an unspoken rule and you know it. Wives, girlfriends, and family are off limits. Fucker.”

I swallowed hard at the reminder.

Off limits.

“We didn’t even fuck!” Leif suddenly shouted. “I can’t believe I’m getting so much shit for her kissing me.”

“That’s bullshit! Ryker walked in on the two of you!” Mal shoved his guitar around to his back just before he flew at Leif.

Then it was mayhem.

Leif threw a punch. Mal grabbed him in a headlock. Beau waded in to separate them.

“Shit,” Ryker muttered as he scuttled out from behind his keyboard.

“That’s fucking bullshit!” Leif shouted, pointing a scraped finger at Ryker while Beau held him back. “I didn’t fuck her!”

“I never said you did,” Ryker exclaimed, shaking his head. “I don’t know what the hell Mal is talking about.”

Mal scoffed as he held the heel of his hand against his bleeding nose. “You told me that you walked in on the two of them in that waiting room at the hospital after Saylor’s kidnapping. You said they were—”

“Looking up shit on her phone,” Ryker finished. “She was showing him pics from our last concert she’d taken. That’s all I saw. And that’s what I said.”

“No.” Mal shook his head vehemently. “You said they were hooking up. Hooking up AKA fucking. That’s what you said!”

“Whoa!” Ryker backed up. “I swear I didn’t. I said they were getting along in the waiting room and looking up something on her phone.”

Mal stared at Ryker in confusion. “You didn’t. I swear you didn’t.”

“You were a little crazed at the time.” Ryker shrugged. “I can’t help what you thought you heard.”

“But… That’s not…” Mal groaned and swiped at his nose again. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Ryker nodded.

“That’s what I’ve been saying, man.” Leif tipped his head and gave Mal a grave look.

“But Paige said…” Mal groaned and scrubbed at his face. “Shit, she said she wanted to see you again. I thought she meant because you two…”

Leif shook his head. “She’s a nice girl, but I wouldn’t fuck with the band like that. Like I’ve been saying.”

“Fuck.” Mal groaned. “Sorry, man. My bad.”

“Obviously.” Leif scoffed.

“Now shake hands like good boys,” Beau instructed, looming over both of them.

I bit back my laughter.

But Mal and Leif dutifully shook hands before retreating to their respective corners.

As Ryker came back to his keyboard next to me, I leaned over and asked, “Uh, is this a usual thing?”

Ryker shook his head then stopped. “Well…”

“Right.” I sighed.

I don’t know why I expected a long-term, prestigious band to actually have their shit together.

Apparently we were all a little bit broken here.

“Right. If we’re all done fucking around, maybe we could get to practicing something before my wife comes in and interrupts us?” Beau rumbled from behind his bass guitar. His large body looked ridiculous perched on the same sized stool as the rest of ours.

“What I was going to say before things went off the rails—” Leif tossed a look at a still bleeding Mal. “Is that I think we should practice our Infamous Tour setlist to get a feel for the newbie. Those songs should be the freshest for us since we just finished the tour.”

The rest of the guys didn’t comment as they nodded their agreement.

“Kid,” Leif called. “The setlist is that first page on the packet I gave you. If you’re as amazing as you think you are, you should know most of the songs already.”

I raised an eyebrow as I read over the setlist. It started with ‘Shameless’ then ran through twenty-ish songs before ending with their encore song of ‘One for the Road.’

I knew most of the songs.

“Let’s go.” I tipped my chin at him.

Leif chuckled lightly. “Lead us off, kid.”

I wasn’t going to let him get under my skin.

But maybe I could see now why Mal had his boxers in a bunch about this fucker.

Lifting my sticks, I gave them a three count then brought my sticks down and played the opening beat of ‘Shameless.’

Chapter 9

Izzy

The guys had been in the library practicing for hours. I’d only heard the door open once when Leif Eccles darted down the hall with his phone to his ear.

I felt kinda ridiculous standing in the hallway with a tray clutched in my hands. What was I thinking, loading it with water, soda, ice, and snacks? These were rock stars; they lived on nicotine, liquor, and coke—the white powdery kind.

This was stupid.

I was mid pivot to leave when the door opened, and Beau was suddenly looming over me.

“Izzy!” To say he sounded surprised would be an understatement.

“Hey, uh…I was just—”

“Did you make cookies?” A huge grin swept over his face.

I shifted uncomfortably. “I, yeah. It’s my favorite recipe. I’ve made it so many times I have it memorized, and you had all the ingredients so…”

“They smell amazing. I’m not sure I want to share them with these assholes though.” He grabbed one off the tray, took a bite, and then moaned his approval. “They’re still warm.”

“What’s going on over here?” The step-monster pranced down the hall toward us. No sign now of her earlier dishevelment. Her long brown hair was sleek and shiny, and her makeup was flawless but confusing, considering her skin-tight workout attire.

“Izzy baked for us.” Beau beamed, holding out his cookie to her.

But Phoebe cringed like he held a bleeding carcass. “Oh. That’s…nice.”

I barely held back the eyeroll.

But Beau just grunted and shoved the rest of the cookie in his mouth. “Come on in, kiddo,” he muttered around his full mouth. “I guess I can share with the rest of these assholes. Lord knows Phee isn’t going to eat any of them.”

Phoebe’s lip curled, but she didn’t disagree.

“Babe, I need to talk to you about that event tonight…” Step-monster was suddenly the picture of innocence as she blinked up at Beau. “Since you’re taking a break.”

If she arched her tits anymore into his face, she’d throw her back out.

But Beau was mesmerized. “Sure thing, Beebee.”

I cleared my throat, and he jerked back into the present.

“Right, uh, kiddo.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and avoided my eyes. “You can go inside. We’re just taking a little break. And I’ll just…”

I was so glad he didn’t finish that sentence.

I tossed him a smile he didn’t see then walked past him and into the library.

I’d only been in here once, and despite my love of books, I hadn’t been tempted to return. Between the very formal leather-bound books on the wall and the messy desk in the corner, it wasn’t a place that had made me want to linger.

Until now.

Now, four rock stars were splayed out on three sofas, scrolling on their phones. Each had their own appeal—from Leif’s moody romantic air to Ryker’s boxer-like masculinity to Mal’s relaxed hippy vibe. But it was Hunter my eyes were drawn to. There was something about him that made me want to cuddle him. He had a tentativeness in his body language like he wasn’t sure if he really belonged. That, combined with the vulnerability in his eyes he was clearly desperate to hide, softened my heart.

But then I remembered the blonde last night pushing past me to hang on him, and the urge to comfort him dried up. Along with my vagina.

“Hey guys, I have cookies if you’re hungry.” I walked past Hunter’s corner of the sofa and offered my tray to Ryker first.

“Don’t have to be hungry to appreciate chocolate chip cookies.” Ryker grabbed three and shoved them into his mouth in a huge bite.

“Right.” I blinked a few times. That was…something. “I’ll just leave them on the coffee table here. There’s some drinks too. Enjoy.”

“Thanks, Isabella,” Mal hollered as he grabbed a handful.

“Yeah, thanks, kid,” Leif murmured as he leaned forward to take one.

I shrugged uncomfortably. This was awkward. I’d made them as an attempt to reach out to my…Beau, and he wasn’t even here to enjoy them.

Another point to the step-monster.

“You’re welcome.” Giving them all a smile, I turned to leave. “I’m just gonna…go.”

“Wait!” Ryker shouted.

“Stay.” Mal grinned. “We want to get to know the newest member of the group.”

I shook my head. “But I’m not—”

“You’re one of us.” Leif sat back with a cookie in one hand, looking all suave and sexy despite the chocolate smearing his fingers. “Beau claimed you, which means you’re a Lick for life.”

“Ooooh, I like that.” Ryker snapped his fingers. “You should send it to the merch guys.”

“Lick for life,” Mal repeated as he munched on his cookie. “It does have a nice ring to it. So Isabella, what’s the plan?”

“Um, you can call me Izzy. And plan?” My eyes bounced from Mal to Leif to Ryker and back. “I’m supposed to have a plan?”

Mal shrugged. “I meant for your time in LA. Have you been before? Are there any sights you want to see? Things Beau needs to take you to?”

“I haven’t really thought about it. Everything’s been so crazy.” I gestured vaguely. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve done Disney, right?” Ryker asked as he leaned forward to grab another cookie.

I nodded. “I’ve been a few times. Six Flags and Universal too.”

“What about the Hollywood Bowl?” Hunter asked, suddenly joining the conversation. “I heard the Tin Gods are playing with the LA Philharmonic this week.”

“They are.” Mal nodded. “I can get us all tickets. I know a guy.”

I frowned as Leif and Ryker laughed.

Mal shrugged. “I’m their drummer’s NA sponsor.”

“Oh.” I blinked a few times. I had no idea Mal was in the program. Or so open about his past drug use. “That’s…nice?”

Mal laughed. “It’s a pain in the ass is what it is. Noah is a needy bitch. But I’ve grown to like the guy. You want to go with us?”

“Where are you taking my daughter?” Beau’s deep voice rolled through the room. He stopped next to me and reached out to give me a side hug, clasping my shoulder in his large hand.

I held my breath for a beat. It was the first time either one of us reached out to the other all casual.

It felt momentous.

Beau groaned in disappointment and stomped away. “Seriously, assholes? You didn’t leave me much.”

The guys chortled as he picked up the last remaining cookie.

“You snooze you lose!” Mal snickered.

“They’re fucking delicious.” Ryker shrugged. “You can’t blame us.”

I finally peeked in Hunter’s direction and found him staring back at me with smoldering eyes.

He nodded. “So delicious.”

It was crazy, but I felt like he was talking about me and not my baked goods. But that couldn’t be right—he had a girlfriend, a blonde, slender girlfriend. Pretty much everything I wasn’t.

No way was I his type.

“So where are you taking my daughter?” Beau grumbled again, ripping me back to the present.

Mal licked his fingers with a flourish. “The Hollywood Bowl. The Tin Gods are playing with the Philharmonic.”

“Really?” Beau turned to me. “That’s something you’d like?”

I shrugged. “I mean it was epic when Metallica played with the San Francisco Orchestra.”

“Fuck yeah it was!” Ryker shouted, pointing a finger at me. “No DNA test required. This one is definitely your kid.”

I don’t know why, but it made me feel proud to be claimed not only by my…Beau but his band too.

“All right, so we need—two,” Mal pointed at himself then at Beau then me. “four, five… Are you all bringing dates?” he asked, gesturing at the rest of the guys.

“I only need one ticket.” Hunter waved a chocolate smeared hand.

Mal frowned. “What happened to the blonde from last night? Shavonne or Shania or whatever?”

“We broke up,” Hunter replied, trading a meaningful look with Ryker but not going into more detail than that.

I couldn’t breathe for a second. Hunter was single?

My mind raced as I tried and failed to make connections between what I saw last night and this new development. When? Where had I been? How did I miss that?

But Hunter didn’t look my way again.

“Huh. Okay.” Mal shrugged. “What about you two?”

Ryker shook his head while Leif nodded.

“I’ll tell Noah to get us nine tickets then.” Mal rubbed his hands on his long shorts before pulling out his cell phone.

“Uh, what night is this again?” Beau asked, pulling his phone out too.

“Saturday,” Mal replied. “There’s only one show.”

“Damn.” Beau shook his head. “I can’t make it. Phoebe has a speaking engagement at that Creator Con thing in San Diego.”

“Oh.” I blinked a few times. San Diego? This was the first I was hearing about it. “That’s okay. San Diego sounds…fun too.”

“No, you should go to the concert. The guys will take care of you. Right, assholes?” Beau gave them a stare down. “You’ll watch over my girl.”

“I mean, she’s an adult, but sure.” Mal nodded. “It’ll be great. Definitely more fun than a bunch of narcissists talking about themselves.”

“Watch yourself.” Beau glared at Mal.

There were so many undercurrents with this group that I just didn’t understand.

“Um, I’m just gonna…” I hitched my thumb over my shoulder.

“Aw, you don’t have to go,” Ryker protested.

“You sure you don’t want to stick around and listen? We’re just plunking mostly at this point.” Beau collapsed on one side of a couch then pulled a guitar onto his lap that’d been leaning against the arm.

“I don’t want to be in the way.” I twisted my fingers together, needing something to harness my nerves.

“Anyone who cooks like that can hang out with us, no problem.” Mal grinned at me over his phone.

“If it’s not any trouble…” My resolve was weakening. I’d always been a fan of the Long Licks and seeing them all together—and begging me to stay—was heady. And kinda crazy.

I had no backbone. I sank down on the only available space on the couches—next to Hunter on the love seat.

“All right.” Mal tapped his cell phone screen before stashing his phone in his pocket. “Noah says we’re in. He’s got us two garden boxes with security.”

“Awesome.” Hunter grinned, wiggling on the sofa to pull his cell out. “I’m gonna…right. Tell no one.” He shook his head and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

“Wait, what? Why not?” I asked.

“Hunter here is still under an NDA.” Leif smirked.

“Okay…” I was confused. “About what?”

“About the band.” Hunter sighed. “I’m still on probation.”

“Probation? I thought that was for felons.” I gave him a small smile.

One that he didn’t return. “Felons and drummers apparently. The guys want to make sure I mesh before they announce anything officially.”

“Eh, you’re half-way there already, kid,” Mal said. “You’re killing it so far.”

“Debatable, but he hasn’t fucked it up too bad yet.” Leif made an expression that might’ve been a smile. But somehow it looked more threatening than comforting.

Even though it wasn’t pointed at me, I shrank back into the couch. Like I said, the vibes with these guys were confusing. I could only imagine how Hunter felt.

Leif kinda reminded me of the scary guys on those late-night news magazine shows my mom liked—the ones who seemed attractive and suave…right up until the cops showed up and reports came out about all the bodies found in the basement.

But then, none of these guys were warm and fuzzy.

Beau looked like a lumberjack, Ryker was more boxer than rock star. And Mal would’ve been at home at a commune or something.

And then there was Hunter.

I shivered as he leaned forward to grab some chips and his arm brushed mine.

I swore I felt a zap of electricity arc between us—sudden and so jolting.

But when I looked at Hunter, he was busy tapping out a beat on his knee.

He hadn’t felt it.

I deflated.

In the background, the guys droned on about a song that needed tweaking. Something about timing of a bridge? But I couldn’t look away from Hunter’s calloused fingers. They were so nimble and sure. Confident. I wondered what they’d feel like on my skin.

Not that I’d ever know.

Guys like Hunter weren’t for girls like me.

Chapter 10

Hunter

“You did good, kid,” Ryker rumbled above me.

I winced at the nickname even as I flushed with pride at his compliment. Straightening from my corner where I’d been riffling through the sheet music Leif had given me earlier, I turned to face Ryker. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I was starting to wonder there at the end.”

Leif had found very few nice things to say before he took off a few minutes ago, and the last twenty minutes had been an exercise in patience for me. I didn’t know the song so I’d been sight-reading the music, and I’d missed a few beats. Okay, more than a few beats. But I’d never even heard the song before, and this was literally my first time playing with all of them.

Apparently Leif didn’t have any grace to give though. He’d been riding my ass on every little mistake. It’d made Iz tense; she’d slipped out before we finished and after Leif handed my ass to me the second time but before the third.

It was so fucking demoralizing.

I knew building a rapport with the guys would take time, but it felt like Leif had it out for me.

“It’ll take time, kid. Don’t sweat it.” Ryker clapped me on the shoulder. “You’ve got my vote.”

I closed my eyes. I really didn’t need the reminder of that damn vote hanging over my head. “Thanks, man.” I laughed uncomfortably. “At least I have you on my side. And Beau seemed happy. Mal too.”

Ryker lifted a shoulder. “Doesn’t really matter. It’s gotta be unanimous.”

It felt like the bottom dropped out of my world. I didn’t realize.

No way was Leif ever going to side with me. The man had it out for me since day one.

“Shit.”

Ryker nodded. “I’m starting to think Leif is setting us all up for failure.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was going to go solo, but then Gio OD’ed and he changed his mind. Wanted to do the whole kumbaya we’re a family thing. Only now…” He sighed. “He’s been difficult lately. Maybe it’s nothing. You know how diva-ish lead singers can be.”

I snorted derisively. My lead singer had imploded my whole band. “Yeah.”

“Cheer up, kid. You’ve got a whole month to turn the tide. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

Only it didn’t feel like that.

As I drove away from Beau’s house with the sheet music on the passenger seat next to me, it felt like a ticking bomb waiting to go off.

Just when I thought I’d done it, made the break of all breaks, it felt like it was slipping through my fingers. Unanimous? With the way Leif had been acting since day fucking one?

I had the fricking Sword of Damocles hanging over my head, and there was no getting away from it.

I should’ve paid more attention in history class because I couldn’t remember how that story ended.

Of course I was going to work my ass off, but given how practice had gone today, somehow I didn’t think time was going to help my case. Leif had it out for me. I wasn’t going to change his opinion. No amount of practice or bullshitting was going to sway him.

He’d already written me off. I saw it in his eyes when he left.

He didn’t think much of me or my playing.

Fuck.

Why even give me the chance? It felt like the worst kind of tease. Here’s your dream job, but yoink, you can only have it for a minute.

I blinked and realized while I’d been all deep in my thoughts, my subconscious had taken me to the one person who’d always loved me no matter what.

My mom.

Her place in the San Fernando Valley wasn’t the best, but it held some of my best memories.

But also some of the worst.

I took a look at the clock and decided I had enough time to venture a visit without running into him.

Pulling up to the curb, I took in the long grass and dandelion strewn front yard and sighed. Of course that asshole didn’t make time to clean up the front yard. That just got in the way of his drunken stupor. And judging by the time, I couldn’t do it today either since I wanted to avoid running into him.

I locked my beloved Charger and headed for the front door. The walkway was pockmarked, ancient, and full of long weeds. Ma wouldn’t be able to get to the sidewalk without help.

Reaching the front door, I scowled at the peeling paint and pressed the doorbell. A few muffled thumps came from inside, but that was normal. I waited patiently for her to open the door.

A full four minutes after I pressed the bell, the door opened to reveal my mom. And I smiled at the sight.

“Hunter!” She squealed, clapping her hands before resting them in her lap in her wheelchair.

I bent down and wrapped an arm around her frail back in a poor facsimile of the hugs I used to get from her. But then that was before.

Before the car accident that changed everything.

Before she was paralyzed from the waist down because of him.

Shaking my head, I forced myself to stay in the present. “Hey, Ma. I was on my way home after practice and wanted to see how you’re doing.”

“Come in. Come in!” She laughed. “You just missed your father. He went to go get groceries.”

“It’s two o’clock—shouldn’t he be at work?”

Mom’s hands paused on her wheels, then she gave them a determined push. “He got laid off last week. But he’s already got some feelers out for a new job.”

‘Laid off’ was usually code for getting fired because he showed up drunk. That was Dad’s specialty.

But I knew better than to comment. I wasn’t here for a fight. I just wanted some quality time with my mom. Some of that unconditional love she was brimming with. And maybe some of her optimism. I could really use some of that magic about now.

“So tell me about the new band. You said you signed with someone new?”

I winced. “Yeah. I can’t actually talk about the details. I signed an NDA so I probably shouldn’t have told you as much as I already did.”

“Oh pish.” Mom blew a raspberry and waved her hands. “Who am I going to tell? All our neighbors moved away years ago, and your brother hardly ever calls. It’s just me and your dad here.”

Who had no filter when he was a few beers in. I tipped my head. “Yeah, but still. There’s a hefty penalty clause.” That part of the contract I clearly remembered. “Besides, it’s still kinda in the audition phase. It might not be a permanent position.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re voting on me at the end of the month, and it’s gotta be unanimous. And let’s just say that the lead singer has his doubts.”

“Oh honey. It’ll work out. I bet by the end of the month he’ll love you and wonder how they ever performed without you. You just wait and see.”

“Thanks, Ma.” I smiled at her. Now that was the dopamine hit I’d been here for.

“So, how’s things with you and Cheyenne? Are we going to hear wedding bells soon? I bet I could talk to Father Thomas and get the church booked for you two. I can’t remember—is she Catholic?”

I sighed. And just like that, it was gone. “No, she’s not.”

“Well, no matter. I don’t think they’re so fussed about that anymore. As long as she hasn’t been married before. She hasn’t, has she?”

“It doesn’t matter, Ma. We broke up.”

“Oh.” She winced. “Sorry, Hunter.”

I shrugged. “Wasn’t meant to be. I think I’m not made for marriage anyway.”

“Don’t say that. God’s listening!”

My hands itched to rub my face. This had been a mistake. I should’ve called and broke the news to her first. I knew she was eager for me to settle down, despite her doubts about Cheyenne. They hadn’t exactly gotten along the one time I’d introduced them backstage last year. Mom had taken one look at Cheyenne’s skin-tight dress and big hair and given me her patented look of disapproval.

Actually, I was surprised she wasn’t happy about our breakup. Usually by now she’d have a ‘good girl’ or two she’d be dying to introduce me to.

“There is this new young woman at my church—”

I stood up. “I should get going. With the traffic, it’ll take me forever to get home.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Mom shook her head. “I just want the best for you. Someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone on your side always. Someone to make a family with.”

“I don’t know that it’s in the cards for me, Ma. I’m already thirty-six and with my transitory lifestyle, it’s not exactly easy to meet the right kind of girl.” And yet for some reason, Izzy popped up in my mind. With her doe eyes and home-baked cookies, she was exactly the kind of girl my mom would approve of.

Not that I was looking for any girl.

“Which is why you should let me introduce you to some of these girls I know.”

“Who are you introducing to the kid?”

I closed my eyes as my dad’s voice rumbled through the house.

So close and yet so far from freedom.

“Hey Dad.”

He didn’t even pause as he stomped through the living room to the tiny kitchen beyond with his hands full of groceries. Of course a case of beer took up one whole arm. Back when I’d been younger, I would’ve jumped up and offered to help—more out of fear than obligation. But those days ended around when I’d turned sixteen.

Mostly because I was big enough to finally stand up for myself.

Fuck. I should’ve called.

But then again, he should’ve been at work so…

A clunk came from the kitchen and was followed by his plodding tread back to the living room.

I was still standing by the sofa that hadn’t changed since my parents got it twenty years ago, my mom in her chair next to me.

“So who are you introducing to the kid? I thought he was all big and important now. Shouldn’t he be introducing us to people? Or are you ashamed of us?”

Judging by his bellow and the snide way he said kid, he’d already had at least one beer on the drive home from the store.

Shaking my head, I turned to my mom. “I’m gonna head out. Love you.”

She sent a painfilled look at me, silently pleading with me to make nice with him.

Not happening. That ship had sailed long ago.

She must’ve seen the resolve on my face because she turned to Dad and said, “Girls from the church. It’s long past time for Hunter to settle down with a nice girl.”

Dad just scoffed. “He’s a big-time rock star, Kimber. He’s got girls coming out of his ears. He’s not interested in straitlaced church girls. Right, kid?”

“Not really.”

“He just broke up with his girlfriend, Theo.”

Mom’s tone was understanding. The light in Dad’s eyes definitely was not.

“Right.” He cocked his head. “Kinda suspicious timing since you’re about to make it big.”

“It wasn’t working out.” Like hell was I going to give the asshole the ammo of what’d really happened with Cheyenne.

“And it might not be working out with the band either,” Mom said as she sent a beseeching look Dad’s way.

I closed my eyes in surrender.

The laugh Dad gave made the hair on the back of my neck stand up —all superior and sarcastic. It’d been the soundtrack of my childhood. Because nothing ever made this miserable man happy.

“Of course it is. Why did I ever think the kid could finally—finally—make something of himself after all these years? Geez, kid, how’d you fuck it up this time?”

I tipped my head at my mom, who had hunched down in her chair, her shoulders almost even with her ears as she tried to make herself less visible.

“Nothing’s been fucked up.” I shrugged. “I’m on probation or whatever. It’ll be fine. I’ll make it with them. You’ll see.”

Dad gave another one of those condescending barks of laughter. “Sure, kid. Sure.”

“Right. Gotta get back to practicing. I’ll call you later, Ma.” I bent down to hug her again. This time the hug felt limp and weak, not at all what I’d come here for.

Mom kissed my cheek and mouthed a silent ‘sorry.’

A word she’d never dare to say where he could hear her.

I don’t know why I bothered.

I tipped my head at the asshole still standing on the other side of the room then headed for the door.

And he just let me go.

Usually his bullshit pumped me up and made me eager to prove him wrong.

But somehow, this time, hearing all my doubts and insecurities voiced by him made them all the more real.

And insurmountable.

As I pulled away from my parents’ house, I felt more lost than I had when I’d arrived.

Chapter 11

Izzy

I paced the empty kitchen. I hadn’t spent anymore quality time with Beau. I’d sat in on his practices a few more times, but the guys were always there. They were nice and all, but I still wasn’t any closer to getting to know Beau.

And he still knew almost nothing about me.

To be fair to him, he was trying…kinda. He’d talk to me after practice, but inevitably the step-monster would barge in with some insane demand for his time and attention. And he’d give it to her. Every time. Never once had he said, ‘I’m busy with Iz’ or ‘how about later.’ He’d get mesmerized by her gargantuan chest and wander after her like an overgrown puppy following its nose.

He didn’t have any time for me.

Why was I even bothering?

This was it. After tonight, I’d figure out my flight home, and put LA and this whole weird pseudo-father thing behind me.

I still had my whole life on pause back home.

Grad school.

Mom’s… My breath hitched. Mom’s everything waiting for me back home. The house, her things, all that paperwork. A huge hole opened up in my chest at the thought of how empty my life now was.

She was gone.

I’d never hear her laughter again.

Never feel her arms hold me tight.

Never have that soft place to fall again.

Never.

I couldn’t breathe.

Tears coursed down my cheeks, and I swiped at them impatiently. I didn’t really want to go to the concert, not now. I felt like such a loser tagging along with my—Beau’s—bandmates.

But the thought of staying here with my aching emptiness was almost more than I could take. I needed a distraction—anything to keep my mind off how empty my whole life was now.

I headed for my room and touched up my makeup, thanking the inventor of tubing mascara.

The bell for the gate echoed through the empty house.

I ran down the hall to the door and pressed the intercom. “I’ll come to you!”

“We’ll be here,” Malcolm replied.

My earlier angst was a forgotten memory as anxiety zipped through my bloodstream.

I’d spent so much time staring at my clothes hanging in the closet, but nothing had materialized that’d felt right. So I might’ve slipped out earlier to buy this glittery little black dress. With cap sleeves and an asymmetrical neckline, the sequined A-line dress fell to my knees but had a sexy slit to mid-thigh. For some reason it’d leapt off the rack and just screamed Tin Gods plus orchestra.

Dresses in my size were almost always more miss than hit, but not this one. I’d decided to ignore the price tag. Who said money couldn’t buy happiness? Because I felt like a million bucks in it.

After grabbing my mini crossbody bag that held my phone, cards, and lipstick, I flew out the door. Flew because I coordinated my blingy dress with my favorite pair of Doc Martens.

Comfort first.

As I slipped out the person-sized gate, I found a fancy SUV idling at the curb, and I hustled over to it, uncomfortable at the knowledge that everyone inside was staring at me.

“Hey Iz!” Mal hollered from the other side of the rear bench seat and over a girl’s head.

I slid into the opening and closed the door behind me. “Hey.” I turned to the girl who looked to be my age and smiled. “Hi.”

The car pulled away from the curb, and I finally noticed the stranger in the front seat driving—a youngish guy who was every bit as large as Beau.

“This is Saylor, my wife,” Mal said, drawing my attention back to him. “Saylor, this is Beau’s daughter Izzy.”

I smiled. “Hey.” Then closed my eyes in mortification. I swore I knew more words than that. I just didn’t seem capable of using any of them at the moment.

“Hi, Izzy. I like your dress.” Saylor beamed at me.

Honestly, the switch in positive feminine energy was going to take me a minute, but I didn’t detect any hostility. I tipped my head toward her. “I really like yours.”

And I did. She wore a black, one-shoulder, short cocktail dress with ostrich feathers adorning the skirt. And like me, she’d paired her little black dress with black combat boots. She was the picture of a rocker princess.

“So how are you liking LA?” Saylor asked with an interested expression.

I…didn’t know how to answer that without sounding like an asshole.

“It’s been…complicated I guess. Less rain than I’m used to, for sure.” That wasn’t a lie. It hadn’t rained a single day I’d been here so far.

“Fortunately, since we’re going to an outdoor event today.” Saylor grinned.

I nodded with a little laugh. “For sure.”

Strained silence filled the cab. Mal leaned forward and murmured something to the driver, and soon soft music filtered through the SUV.

“Beau and Phoebe get to the event all right?” Mal asked as he wrapped an arm around Saylor’s shoulders and silently urged her to lean against his side.

I shrugged. “I guess. Haven’t heard from either of them since I left your practice this morning.”

Mal scowled and muttered something under his breath then said in a louder tone, “Well, you won’t find any stuck up shit with the rest of us—aside from Leif. He can be an ass. But Ryker is good people, and so far the kid seems to have his head on straight.”

My heart jumped at the reference to Hunter. I don’t know what it was about him, but I wanted to know more. Wanted to spend time with him. Might’ve wanted to rub up against him like a cat.

Not that I was going to say as much to these two.

“So it’s going good with him?” Saylor asked as she looked up at Mal from her place tucked into his side.

“Hunter?” Mal lifted his eyebrows. “Yeah, I like him. He’s got a good sound and keeps up with us. Leif is still being an ass about him though.”

“Is it like an initiation kinda thing?” Saylor asked.

Mal shrugged. “It’s a Leif is an ass kinda thing. That’s why I’m putting him and Ryker in the other box. I’m so over his shit, and I don’t want him giving the kid a hard time tonight. Tonight should just be about fun and music.”

“Leif will come around.” Saylor sighed. “He was the one who was pushing to keep you guys together. He’s got a vested interest in you all. I mean, he gave up a lucrative deal to stay in the band, right?”

“Did he? I’m starting to wonder if the deal is really off. Kinda feels like he’s setting the kid—and us—up for failure so he can fuck off and play solo artist.” Mal scoffed.

I stayed silent throughout the exchange, but my eyes grew wide as I took in this information. Poor Hunter. He had probably felt like he’d finally made it, and now—

“Sorry. No more shop talk.” Mal cleared his throat. “So what’s life like for you back in the Pacific Northwest? You got a job?”

“Or a boyfriend?” Saylor teased gently.

I filled them in on the generalities of my life—school, social life, etcetera—careful to keep clear of the obvious landmine of my loss and my weird relationship with my long-lost father.

The rest of the drive was nice. Got to admit, I thought Mal was one of those guys when I first saw the huge age difference between him and his wife. But I got it. He was a little immature while she had maturity beyond her years. They met in the middle.

And the love they felt for each other was obvious, but not in a skeevy, why-are-they-doing-that-here kinda way. It was in the quiet moments, like how he held her hand on his thigh. Or how she’d smile up at him with hearts almost visible in her eyes. They loved each other deeply.

I’d never had that.

I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that way about a guy—wanted him near, couldn’t wait to hear about his day.

God, I really needed to get laid.

We pulled up to the venue then around to a separate entrance. I watched all the security and crowds with wonder. How was this my life? Even if I was on the perimeter.

I slipped out of the car first, followed by Saylor then Mal. A huge roar went up when Mal exited. Flashes went off, and we were quickly guided to a patio around the side.

A tall, slatted wall provided some privacy while a vaulted wood and steel roof kept us protected from the late evening sun. Mal kept his arm around Saylor’s shoulders while he talked to a woman in a white polo and black pants with a lanyard around her neck. She was clearly fangirling, with her free hand pressed against her chest.

Mal smiled charmingly, and Saylor didn’t seem to mind as she engaged in their conversation too.

I, however, felt like the proverbial third wheel.

Standing a few feet away, I rocked back on my boot heels and took in the crowd. I’d never been so aware of my size as I was at the moment. Was everyone in Hollywood skinny and gorgeous? Slender legs and voluptuous breasts seemed to be the common denominator for all the women on the patio. At least my dress fit the mood, even if it was the only double-digit size here.

I needed a drink. Something to keep my hands busy. And maybe get me a little toasted, lose some inhibitions.

Because I felt so very tightly wound and completely out of my element.

“Here you go.” Saylor popped up in front of me, holding out a lanyard.

“Oh. Thanks.” I slipped it on.

“You’re in the same box as us and the new guy. Want to get a drink?”

“Yes, please!”

Saylor laughed and hooked my arm in hers, making me feel not so alone as we galloped away from the patio and toward the event.

“What about Mal?”

“Eh, he has to gladhand and be a rock star. I’d much rather find something to eat and drink. I think we have dinner waiting in our box.”

That wasn’t the only thing waiting in our box.

Hunter sat at a small, linen-clad table with an empty collapsible mesh chair opposite him. The other side of the box had a similar setup.

I should probably have taken in the barbecue food laid out, or the amazing architecture—the all-wooden boxes around us making up the outdoor amphitheater, and the shell-like stage literally only feet away. But I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The tattoos racing down his right arm, the way his black tee stretched over his firm chest, and the boyish way his blond streaked hair fell over his forehead.

I shook my head slightly. I couldn’t be having these kinda thoughts about him because one, he was my—Beau’s—bandmate, and two, no guy who looked like that ever looked back at a fluffy girl like me. Ridiculous.

Then I spotted the bottle on the table.

“Holy shit. Is that Dom Pérignon Brut?”

Saylor laughed. “Probably. Mal likes to spoil me.”

I knew what a bottle of it cost at a liquor store—my mom had splurged and bought some for my undergrad graduation. I could only imagine what the markup was on a bottle of it here.

“But there should be some water, if you don’t drink, and I’m pretty sure you can order a cocktail or a beer from…somewhere.”

I clutched at Saylor’s shoulders. “Girl, if there’s Brut, I’m drinking Brut.”

Hunter pushed away from the tiny table and stood up at our approach. “Ladies.”

Saylor skipped ahead. “Hi, I’m Mal’s wife, Saylor. I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Nice to meet you, Saylor.” He shook her hand. “I’m Hunter, the guys’ temporary drummer.”

Saylor cocked her head. “That’s not the way I heard it.”

“I appreciate that,” he replied with a large but fake smile before muttering under his breath, “pretty sure that’s how it’s gonna go though.”

I felt a pang in my chest at the naked defeat in his tone.

Because, unlike Saylor, I’d sat in on their practices, and Hunter wasn’t wrong. Leif clearly had it out for the guy—constantly nitpicking, arguing with everyone over inane stuff, stomping out of practice with a dramatic flourish.

Hunter was totally being set up to fail.

“Iz.” He turned to me, and I could’ve sworn a naughty little smile curved his lips just for me. “I like the dress.”

“Thanks.” I flushed. Hunching my shoulders, I shoved my hands in the pockets.

“Shut up!” Saylor shouted. “It has pockets?”

I turned to her and smiled sheepishly. “It does.”

“Okay, you have to take me wherever you bought that dress. It’s amazing!” she gushed.

I laughed softly. “Sounds like a deal.”

And then I remembered my earlier vow to leave tomorrow.

Maybe I should put it off for a day or two? I was making a friend here.

“We’re going tomorrow. Here, give me your number.” She pulled her phone out of her bag and tapped at the screen.

While I rattled off my number to my new friend, Hunter sank back into his chair and plucked a piece of fried chicken off the platter and onto his plate.

Champagne and fried chicken? Yes, please.

I sat down opposite him and gave him a shy smile.

He raised his eyebrows. “Hope you like barbecue.”

My eyes widened at the display of food. Ribs, fried chicken, brisket, corn bread, coleslaw, watermelon salad. I wanted to eat it all.

“Mal didn’t know if you liked sushi, so he ordered barbecue instead,” Saylor said from her tiny table next to us.

“For the record, there isn’t much I don’t like, but I love barbecue.” I grinned at her.

She smiled back and was just reaching for a rib herself when Mal popped up at the end of the box with his polo-clad superfan trailing behind.

“Baby, there you are!” He stopped next to her table and reached for her hand, pulling her up to stand next to him. “We gotta get backstage. Noah wants to talk before the show.”

“Uh, that’s great, but what’s it gotta do with me? Go do your thing.” She looked longingly at the pork rib.

“But I want you there with me. Don’t you want to meet the Tin Gods?”

“What I really want to do is eat. You distracted me from the snack I was making earlier, remember?”

“Oh, I remember,” he murmured as he snuggled into her hair. He murmured something I couldn’t—and didn’t want to—catch.

Instead, I exchanged uncomfortable looks with Hunter. Nice to know I wasn’t totally alone here.

“Fine,” she finally muttered. “But I’m hungry.”

“They have food backstage. And champagne.” He pressed a kiss on her cheek then turned to us. “The invite is open to you guys too. Want to come meet some Gods?”

I shook my head mutely. Honestly, I wanted a break from the third wheeling.

Hunter grabbed the bottle of champagne and topped up both glasses. “Next time. I’m pretty comfortable here.” He lifted the bottle toward Mal. “But thanks for the invite. Really.”

Mal opened his mouth, but the polo-clad employee stepped up.

“Sir, we need to go. Mister Hawker is pretty insistently asking for you.”

Mal closed his eyes for a beat then nodded. “All right. We’ll be back before the show starts. But feel free to help yourselves to both platters. It’s just the four of us in this box.”

Hunter lifted his glass again. “Thanks.”

Mal and Saylor were quickly escorted away.

Leaving me all alone with Hunter.

Chapter 12

Hunter

I should probably feel like an ass for turning down Mal’s invite, but I’d decided I wasn’t going to get close.

The writing was on the wall.

This wasn’t working out.

Pretty sure they were going to give me the boot before my month was officially up, so what was the point?

And I really didn’t want to be introduced to the Tin Gods as the Licks’ shitty drummer who couldn’t hack it.

I almost didn’t come tonight, but I couldn’t resist the lure of live music and the gorgeous brunette currently across the table from me.

“Well, this is awkward.”

I laughed at her droll tone. “Really?” I tilted my head as I stared at her over my flute. “I think it’s pretty damn perfect.”

She flushed and looked away again.

Like she doubted my words.

Like she doubted her worth.

“What’s that about?” I asked.

Her eyes darted back at me, and she blinked in confusion. “Huh?”

“You look like you don’t believe me.”

She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to be nice. We can just sit here and enjoy our dinner and the ambiance without any of the bullshit.”

“But it wasn’t bullshit.”

She snorted in disbelief. “Sure.”

“What the hell? Are you saying I’m lying?”

“It’s… What do you call it? A white lie? Sugar coating? Whatever. I’m just saying, you don’t have to flirt with me to be nice. We can just talk like two regular people without the ridiculous pretense.”

I tipped my head as I leaned forward. “And if I want to flirt with you? I happen to think you’re fucking gorgeous. It’s what I was thinking when I saw you standing there all sparkling and luminous. Hell, I thought it when I first saw you back at Beau’s party. I thought you were his wife because no way any man worth a damn wouldn’t lock down a beauty like you.”

Iz’s eyes widened more with every word I said. When I finished, she opened and closed her mouth. Finaly she shook her head slightly. “I…don’t know what to say.”

I sat back in my chair, satisfied I’d gotten my point across. “You can say whatever you like as long as it’s not something derogatory about you, your looks, or what I think about them.”

“I…uh, okay.”

“Good.” I lifted a rib and tore into it like I hadn’t eaten in months.

Like a caveman.

Something about Iz brought that quality out in me. Like I wanted to tackle her and bay at the moon.

Actually, that last part didn’t sound like a bad idea. Iz had this alabaster skin that begged to be worshipped out in a moonlit field.

She stared down at her plate like she wasn’t really seeing it. Like I’d just rocked her whole world, but not in the way I really wanted to.

Fuck it.

I was a dead man walking, right? The writing was on the wall. The band wasn’t working out, it was only a matter of time before they booted me.

Why shouldn’t I live it up?

Do the thing I wanted.

Make bad decisions.

It wasn’t like I was guaranteed a tomorrow with them. The opposite, actually.

“You gotta eat, princess. I have plans for me and you later. You’re going to need the fuel.”

She pressed her lips together like she was biting back words then dutifully picked up a piece of fried chicken.

I grunted in satisfaction and dug into my brisket.

“Why princess?” she finally asked after a long, silent minute or two.

“Are you serious? I mean look at you. You are every inch a rock princess with the kick ass dress and the shit kicking boots. All you’re missing is maybe a streak of color in your hair or a tattoo.”

“Who says I don’t have a tattoo?” She raised her eyebrows at me before digging into her meal.

I snickered. Now that was more like it. She was coming out of her shell. “Can’t wait to see it.”

She coughed then bent over, coughing louder like she was fighting for her life.

“You okay there, princess?” I sat forward on my chair, wanting to help but unable to reach her.

She sat up red faced and waved a hand. “Just went down the wrong pipe.”

“Now I’m really curious about where the tattoo is. I’m thinking somewhere naughty…somewhere I can’t see right now.” My eyes danced over her naked arms before running over her luscious cleavage. No tats there either. I’d scoped out her legs earlier, and they were also ink free. “Maybe a naughty little rib tattoo? Lower back?”

Her whole face was beet red. “You’re getting warmer.”

Now it was my eyes that widened. “Thighs?”

She didn’t say a word as she took a long, slow drink of her champagne.

Fuck, that was sexy.

She gave a smug little smirk and I almost swallowed my tongue.

Fuck yeah.

“Hey guys.”

Ryker’s greeting smashed the intimacy of the moment.

Sighing, I sat back in my seat and raised a hand in his direction. He’d stopped on the other side of the wooden wall that only came up to chest height on him.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, kid.”

I shrugged. “Just enjoying some dinner with this gorgeous lady here.”

Ryker pivoted and smiled at Iz. “Hey, kiddo. Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah. So far.” She smiled tremulously at Ryker.

Something about his presence clearly made her self-conscious. Her shoulders inched toward her ears, and her mouth tightened.

But Ryker just smiled back at her. “Good, good. I was going to steal the kid and introduce him to a few people, but I don’t want to leave you here all alone.”

“Why not?” she muttered under her breath. “Beau does it all the time.”

But Ryker clearly heard her, given his wince. “Right. Next time. Uh, have you seen Leif or Mal around?”

“Mal is backstage with his wife, and I haven’t seen Leif.” My lips moved in a sneer on their own accord. “Fortunately.”

Ryker sighed. “Yeah, we need to get with him and figure out what’s crawled up his ass.”

I just shook my head. But I didn’t say anything. I just took another drink.

“All right then. Enjoy the concert, and I guess I’ll see you two on Monday.” He gave us another smile then tapped the top of the wall before he walked away.

Christ, I was so fucked.

Iz turned to me and gave me that self-conscious smile of hers.

Something elemental unfurled inside me. Like a predator spotting his prey.

Or a wolf spotting his mate.

“Did you know that less than five percent of animals mate for life?” The words fell out of my mouth without a thought.

And judging by the confused look on Iz’s face, it was as weird of a left turn as I feared.

But I just shrugged. “I saw a documentary once. Off the top of my head, bald eagles, seahorses, swans, and wolves mate for life.”

“Penguins too.”

I grinned at her, impressed. And maybe happy she was rolling with my weird conversation.

She shrugged. “What? I saw a documentary once.” Her tone was light but the teasing intent was clear. “Plus every year there’s usually a pair at a zoo that makes the news for one reason or another.”

“Like the gay penguins that tried to hatch a rock.”

Iz grinned. “Almost makes you believe in love, huh?”

“That’s not the only thing.” I smirked back at her.

She ducked her head as her skin flushed red.

Watching Iz’s reaction filled me with an anticipation I hadn’t felt in so long. Christ, I could spend my whole life playing this game.

Then I shook my head. What the fuck was that thought?

“Should we shuffle the layout so you’ll be able to see the show?” Iz asked, her cheeks still red with her blush.

I’d been sitting with my back to the stage, so that sounded like a good idea to me. And it was sweet as hell that she was thinking of me and my comfort.

We folded up the chairs and moved the small end tables to the back of the box in a buffet kinda layout. Then we shuffled the chairs around the small box so Iz and I sat up front with the other two chairs positioned behind us.

There still wasn’t any sign of Mal or his wife when the orchestra took the stage.

As I slipped into my chair, my arm wrapped around Iz’s shoulders next to me. Like it was habit. Like we’d done this a million times before.

“Do you have earplugs?” Iz asked as she reached for her small bag on the ground in front of her.

I nodded as I pulled a pair out of my front pocket. There wasn’t much I valued more than my hearing. I slipped them into my ears then helped Iz hold her long, silky hair out of the way as she inserted her earplugs.

My fingers itched to run through her hair. I could easily picture myself holding it in one hand while I grasped her heart-shaped ass in the other.

Shit, now I had a semi in the middle of the Hollywood Bowl.

So far only the orchestra was onstage. Discordant notes and scraps of songs played. We were so close to the stage, I could feel the notes vibrating through the ground.

Iz tossed me an excited little grin, and I tightened my arm around her shoulders. Christ, did she have to be so cute?

Then the Tin Gods took the stage.

The crowd roared as the opening beat of ‘Nowhere to Hide’ came from the timpani player at the back of the orchestra. Nothing I could do on my drums could simulate the depth and heft of the timpani drum. But Christ, did I want to try.

Soon the rest of the percussion section and the Tin Gods’ own drummer, Noah Hawker, joined in.

I’d heard this song a million times. I could play it myself blindfolded.

But I’d never heard it like this.

The string instruments gave it a hypnotic quality. The high notes from the flute soared and played around Chase Robinson’s dark and gritty tenor voice. Brass instruments flirted in contrast with the strings. And Xander Lang and Jesse Mala on the guitars battled as they took over the lead from the flutist.

It was mesmerizing.

And I wanted to be on stage playing with them so fucking bad.

I wasn’t saying I’d be better than Noah freaking Hawker—just that I wanted to do that. I wanted to be the one feeling the orchestra swelling around me. I wanted to be the one playing my song that I’d sweated over perfecting at the damn Hollywood Bowl. It felt like the epitome of a kickass career.

And was exactly the reason I hadn’t gone backstage earlier to meet the Gods.

I wasn’t there.

And I had a sinking feeling I was never going to be there.

I rubbed my free hand against my sternum. I felt that pang viscerally.

Suddenly, Iz’s shoulders heaved under my arm.

Turning to her, I saw tears trekking unabashedly down her cheeks.

I wanted to ask, but given our proximity to the stage, she couldn’t hear anything I’d say.

So I nudged her chin toward me, and the pain in her eyes took my breath away. So much angst and torment.

Her mom.

This song must’ve had some kind of significance to them. Christ.

I hated that she was hurting. This should’ve been a fun, light-hearted night out with friends. But then again, she wasn’t with friends. She wasn’t even with her dad, that son of a bitch. He’d left her again just when she needed him.

Iz flinched at whatever she saw in my eyes and jerked her chin out of my grasp.

Shit. I didn’t want her thinking I was mad at her.

Quickly closing the distance between us, I did the only thing I could think of.

I kissed her.

My lips barely touched hers, and she pulled away.

I followed unconsciously before stopping. And when I opened my eyes, she stared back at me in confusion, even shook her head like she couldn’t believe I did that.

Oh believe it, princess.

I smirked at her, and then kissed her again.

This time she let me. And after a beat, she kissed me back.

I groaned against her lips and did the thing that’d been driving me nuts. I threaded my fingers through her luscious hair and pulled her even closer.

She gave a little gasp that became a moan and kissed me harder.

Her curvy body pressed against mine, and it was my turn to moan.

But we were in public. And no matter how much I really, really wanted to take this further, I couldn’t.

Or maybe…

Fuck. No. Iz deserved better than some shady public corner.

Humming in the back of my throat, I finally pulled away. She swayed toward me like I was the fucking pied piper she’d been commanded to follow. And that thought only made my dick harder.

I deserved a fucking medal for stopping. Because it would be so easy to hike her dress up and pull her into my lap. No one had to know.

And Christ, I was tempted.

But too many people had disappointed her lately. I couldn’t be one more. She deserved so much more than the hand she’d been dealt.

I bent down and pressed one quick peck against her luscious lips then wrapped my arm around her shoulders again and turned back to the stage.

I felt her shoulders heave with a huge sigh. A beat later, her head nestled against me.

I was still grinning when Mal and Saylor came back to the box halfway through the third song.

Mal’s stare was hot and hard. Iz didn’t seem to notice as her body wiggled in time with ‘Corruption.’

I raised my eyebrows in a silent challenge.

He rubbed a hand against his jaw as he stepped past us and took a seat in the back of the box. Saylor didn’t have to say anything. Her wide eyes spoke volumes. Mal pulled her in his wake.

Fuck it.

I didn’t have anything to lose at this point.

Chapter 13

Izzy

My phone buzzed on the nightstand.

I groaned and rolled over. My head hurt so much. I couldn’t even bear to open my eyes.

My phone buzzed rhythmically, rattling the entire table.

I slapped at it. It was too early.

“Iz? Are you there? Izzy?” Alexis’ tinny voice came from far away.

Groaning, I blindly groped for my phone. Miraculously, I didn’t hang up on her before I finally held my phone up to my ear. “What?”

“Oof. Late night?”

She sounded entirely too chipper for this early in the morning.

“I guess. We went to see the Tin Gods play with the LA Philharmonic.”

“So Beau is finally stepping up? Good.” Alexis grunted her approval.

“Eh…”

“Oh Christ. Really? Please don’t tell me that he ditched you again for the step-monster.”

“Um…” I was too tired to come up with a response. My feelings were still in such a tangle from last night—I didn’t know where to start.

“Sounds like it’s time to call it. Do you need help arranging your flight home? Do you have enough to cover it? Mom and Dad are eager to see you again. You can stay with us while we try to sort out…everything else.”

I had to pull the phone away. The reminder of what was or what wasn’t waiting for me back home had my stomach clenching in denial.

Alexis rattled on about plans and flights. It took her a whole two minutes to notice I wasn’t agreeing or even saying anything.

Meanwhile, I tried not to gag.

“Izzy? Iz! Are you okay? Oh god. I hate being so far away. I wish I was there.”

But I…didn’t. I felt bad for thinking it, but having Alexis and home so far away had been a welcome escape. Even if LA and Beau hadn’t turned out like I’d hoped.

Although there was a new, exciting development last night.

“That’s it. I’m flying down there. I’ll help you pack up, give that asshole a piece of my mind, and then we’ll fly home together.”

That snapped me out of my little play-by-play of Hunter’s kiss last night. “A, no. Don’t!”

Pained silence thrummed over the line.

Her voice was soft and confused when she finally whispered, “What? Why? I just want to help you.”

“I know, A. I just…I need to do this myself. Whatever happens with Beau needs to be on my terms. I need to be able to stand on my own two feet, now more than ever.”

“Iz, it’s not a weakness to lean on the people who love you. It’s okay to ask for help.”

“I know that. But I’m not there. Things here are…complicated.” That was definitely an understatement. “But I’ve made some friends. And things with Beau are… I guess they’ll take time. It’s not all because of her. I know I haven’t been the easiest to connect with.”

“That is not your fault.”

“I know. I just…I want to try a little longer. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“And I love you so much for that.” Even if it was making me pull away.

I just couldn’t face going back. I don’t know when I’d ever be able to face it.

I didn’t want to think about the other side of this trip.

“I love you too. You’re my person. I chose you.”

“Same, bitch. Same.”

Her husky laughter came over the line.

I pushed the hair off my forehead and sighed. “So tell me all the gossip. What’s going on at work? Is your boss still being a tool?”

Soon we were giggling about the drama at her job like old times.

And yet it didn’t escape my notice that I didn’t share with her what was really going on here. About Beau. About Hunter. About the big-brother stare-down Mal gave Hunter last night. Usually that was the exact kinda thing I’d share with my bestie.

But not this time.

And I didn’t know what to think about that.

After another promise to talk later, I ended the call with Alexis and gingerly crawled out of bed. I drank way too much champagne last night. My head pounded as I went through my morning routine. I skipped the yoga because standing was a challenge at the moment.

Feeling a little better after some Tylenol and a shower, I gingerly made my way to the kitchen, clutching my phone in one hand.

And just like yesterday, the empty house echoed around me. Carmen didn’t work weekends, and with Beau and the step-monster in San Diego, I was flying solo.

Oddly, the knowledge didn’t fill me with anger like it had yesterday. Probably because my thoughts were full of Hunter and that amazing kiss last night. We didn’t have time to talk about anything with the concert on full blast and the way Mal had hustled us out the second their encore was over.

I had almost expected a disappointed-dad lecture on the ride home, but Mal hadn’t gone there. Talk in the car had mostly been about the concert and how he wanted to do something similar once things calmed down. And promises from Saylor to hang out.

But that kiss! And the promise in Hunter’s eyes as Saylor pulled me out of the box…

Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. Clearly I’d had more than my share of champagne last night. Maybe Hunter had been just as buzzed and lost in the moment last night.

That thought deflated me.

As I gathered the ingredients to make my breakfast, I thought of all the reasons this thing with Hunter wouldn’t go anywhere. One, he was a member of my—Beau’s—band. Two, he was gorgeous and perfect. Three, I was…me. I saw his previous girlfriend; she was the definition of California Barbie—from her hair to her slim build to her gravity-defying boobs. That just wasn’t me.

Don’t get me wrong—I liked who I was. But I’d never be that.

I was thicc. I had long, shiny brown hair I was proud of. And between you and me, my boobs were spectacular. But they also came with my rounded tummy and a cart of jello in the rear.

I’d never been so aware of my body as I was since I’d come to California. It felt like everywhere I looked, women were slim and fit and…perfect.

Everything I wasn’t.

Maybe Alexis was right. Maybe it was time to go home.

Almost like I’d summoned her, my phone chimed.

Only the message wasn’t from A.

Saylor: Still up to go shopping? I wanna hit that amazing store you found!

At least that part hadn’t been an exaggeration. I had made a friend here. Saylor had been awesome last night. She’d artfully steered Mal away the one time he almost brought up Hunter on the ride home.

Me: Sure. Just name a time. I’m easy.

Saylor: Great! I’ll pick you up in an hour!

My earlier angst forgotten, I dug into my breakfast with a flourish. I had some retail therapy to look forward to.

A little over an hour later, we were whipping down the road in a sexy black Benz. Only Saylor wasn’t driving like I’d assumed she would be. A large guy she’d introduced as Lucas sat behind the wheel as we chilled in the back seat.

Apparently my surprise had given me away when we crawled into the backseat because Saylor laughed.

“Yeah, Mal’s been a little OTT since the whole LAX thing.” She waved a hand as she referred to the crazy headline making moment when her ex had held her captive at the airport before he’d been shot by responding officers.

My eyes were even wider as I nodded in reply. But I didn’t probe. I knew better than most that there were parts of your life you didn’t want people—strangers especially—poking around.

Instead, I turned to Lucas. “We’re going to Taylor Fashion Boutique on North Broadway. I don’t remember the exact address. I took an Uber yesterday. Do you need me to look it up on my phone?”

“No, I’ve got it, miss.” Lucas’ voice was a smooth, deep baritone.

I was sure in a different circumstance I would’ve blinked twice at it and all his masculine assertiveness. But given the turmoil of everything, I was happy to sit back, buckle my seat belt, and just enjoy having someone else take care of it all.

I had plenty of drama in my life. Swooning over a sexy driver/security guard didn’t even hit my top ten.

“So spill.” Saylor grinned at me.

I blinked a few times. “About what?”

“About Hunter. It looked like you two were getting cozy in the box. What happened while we were gone?”

“Oh, you know…” I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “We had dinner. Ryker came by to talk. Then we moved things around so we both could face the stage. And, um. Yeah. It was fun,” I finished lamely.

Saylor sighed heavily. “Right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I’m just so excited to have someone in with the band who’s a regular girl. I tried to bond with Phoebe but she…” She pulled a face as she realized she was about to talk shit about my sorta kinda-step-mom. “I get along with Leif’s assistant. Zanna is great.”

“Oh, don’t feel like you have to censor your feelings about Phoebe. Between you and me, I call her the step-monster in my head…and with friends.”

Saylor grinned. “Bet. I can’t even imagine having to live with Phoebe. One time we had to wait over fifty minutes for her. We were all meeting at Beau’s to go to this award show together, and she kept us waiting for forever. The guys missed the red carpet and almost missed their spot in the show.”

“Wow.” I mean, I could see it. What was surprising was that they all stayed. Especially Leif.

“Yeah. Never doing that again.”

“She’s really not that keen on me being here. I mean, I’m not eager for a replacement, you know. My mom will always be my mom. I just never thought I’d have to compete with my step-mom for even a minute of his time.”

“It’s ridiculous that it’s even a competition.”

“And what’s so frustrating is that Beau doesn’t see it. He just keeps making promises and letting her undo them all.” I sighed in frustration. “I’m almost ready to call it and just head back to Washington.”

“Well, I, for one, am glad that you’re here.” Saylor smiled at me. “My bestie is still in Vegas, and I see her every few weeks, but it’s not the same. I want to build a life here in LA with Mal—hopefully one with amazing, non-back-stabbing friends.”

“I would never!”

“Good. And same.”

We traded smiles, and for the first time since I’d come to LA, I felt like I had an ally. Someone in my corner who would look out for me. Maybe that was naïve of me, but I had a good feeling about Saylor. “So, tell me about LA and the guys. What’s life like here?”

Saylor filled me in on her life with Mal, her internship with Russo Designs, and the band’s struggle since Gio passed away.

“I hope they figure things out. I really thought they’d found their missing link when they brought on Hunter—Mal had been so excited—but apparently, it’s not going well.”

“It’s really not. Leif is constantly harping on Hunter for every little thing—he’s offbeat, he’s too slow in the count off, he’s holding his drumsticks wrong.” I bugged my eyes out at her.

“He did not say that last one!”

“He did. I swear.” I raised my hand. “It was insane. Hunter almost threw them at him. What is his damage?”

Saylor shook her head. “I heard he wanted to go solo after they finished their last tour, but then Gio died… Maybe he’s wishing he’d actually gone through with it.”

“That sucks for the guys.”

Especially Hunter.

Chapter 14

Still Izzy

As we pulled up to Beau’s house, Lucas kept driving on down the road.

“I think you missed the driveway,” I pointed out.

“No, miss,” Lucas replied. “It looks like someone is waiting at the gates. I’m just pulling around to investigate.”

I craned my neck to look for myself and spotted the baby blue Dodge Charger parked on the curb.

Hunter.

My heartbeat sped up and a silly smile pulled at my lips. “Oh, that’s just Hunter.”

Saylor tossed me a mischievous grin. “So you recognize his car, huh?”

“What? He showed up the first day of practice with a bunch of equipment in his car. I might’ve noticed it. I mean, it’s kinda distinctive.”

“Uh huh…”

“What? Stop it!” I squealed before covering my face with my hands. “It’s not a big deal.”

“If you say so,” Saylor replied in a sing-song tone, clearly mocking me.

I grinned despite myself. I don’t know if it was the giddiness from Hunter’s visit or the rapport I’d built with Saylor today, but I was feeling so light and happy. It had been a great day.

And it looked like maybe tonight might be fun too.

As we pulled back around, Hunter climbed out of his car and headed for the gate with a piece of paper in his hand. Was he leaving me a note?

I really, really wanted to see what it said.

I turned to Saylor. “I don’t want to put you in an awkward spot, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to Mal. He seemed bothered last night about Hunter and me.”

“He just felt guilty about leaving you alone. He knows Hunter is a good guy.” She shrugged. “At least that’s what he said after we dropped you off.”

She clearly hadn’t seen the look he’d given Hunter when they came back from backstage. Or the look he gave Hunter right before we left. He had that whole ‘don’t touch my daughter’ face ready.

I sighed. “I hope you and Mal have boys because I’d pity your daughters. He has all the makings of a crazy, overprotective daddy.”

For some reason Saylor’s face flushed bright red. Then she covered her face with her hands and bent over her lap, clearly hiding from me.

I waved my hands. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just, he was… It’s sweet—just totally unneeded. I mean, I’m an adult. I can take care of myself. Really.”

A wave of giggles came from her corner of the car. She sat upright and wiped under her eyes. “Sorry. It’s not you. You just said something—” She shook her head. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry. I won’t say anything about Hunter, and neither will Lucas.”

She raised her voice at the last bit.

I leaned forward, but Lucas didn’t even so much as flinch.

He also didn’t verbally agree, but I decided to pick my battles.

“Well, thanks. I’ll call you later, okay?” I opened my car door and headed for the gate and Hunter before I remembered my bags.

Lucas was a whole step ahead of me. He exited and moved to the trunk to pull out my purchases. I gave Saylor another wave while she mimed for me to call her.

And when I turned back to my—Beau’s—gate, Hunter was standing in front of it with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug, little smirk curving his lips.

No man had the right to look as hot as he did. From his dirty blond hair to the stubble on his jaw to those tattoos racing down his arms, he was like my sexiest fantasy brought to life. Or maybe that was the message I was getting from his expression.

He waited for me at the gate with that sexy little smirk.

I stopped in front of him and cocked my head. “Looking for someone?”

“More like found someone.” He pocketed his note before he reached out and took the bags from my hands.

“Is that what it says in your little note?” I tried to hide the shiver that shook me when his hands brushed against mine.

“It’s not a state secret.” His smooth deep voice rolled over me, making my nipples stand at attention. He had this deep grumbly note in his voice that was so freaking sexy. “Just my number so you can call me if you were interested in meeting up.”

Oh I was interested. Not that I would ever say as much. I was determined to not be that obvious. “Really? Aren’t you afraid of my—er, Beau—seeing it?”

He cocked his head. “I’m not hiding. We’re both adults here.”

“But aren’t you afraid of this”—I gestured between us—“interfering with the band? I kinda thought you’d want to keep it quiet.”

“I mean, if that’s what gets you hot, sure. I don’t kink shame.”

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. The amusement in his voice made me feel ridiculous.

“Princess, the writing is on the wall. Leif has it out for me. You’ve seen it. And there’s a band vote at the end of the month. If it’s not unanimous, I’m out.”

“Hey!” Saylor suddenly shouted from somewhere behind us.

I whipped around and found her leaning out the rear window of the car.

Saylor waved. “If you two could go inside, I’d appreciate it. Lucas here won’t leave until he’s sure you’re safe behind the gate. And as much as I’m enjoying your little flirting show, I’ve got things to do today.”

I rolled my eyes even as I felt my face heat up. After sending a deadly glare her way—that she just grinned back at—I spun around and punched in the code.

The gates slowly pushed open.

I turned back to Saylor, but she just made a rolling motion with her hand.

Clearly, we had to be inside before they’d leave us alone.

Hunter laughed lightly as he walked around his car to open the passenger door for me. I ducked inside quickly, and he shut the door before stowing my bags in the backseat and taking a seat behind the wheel. All the leather inside matched the baby blue of the exterior. And it was buttery soft. I ran a hand over my seat as Hunter threw his car in gear and we shot forward.

“Ack!” I squealed as I grabbed for anything to hold onto.

“Sorry, princess. Just wanted to put some distance between us and our audience.” Hunter laughed at the glare I pointed his way. But his speed slowed as we approached the garages. “That just proves my point though.”

My death grip on the handle over my head relaxed a little. “What point was that again?”

“There’s no point in keeping this secret between us. Mal already knows, right? That was his wife you were with.”

“We didn’t talk about you. I don’t know her all that well. And I might’ve asked her not to say anything to Mal about you—this.”

“What? Why?” He stopped the car in front of the closed garage door and turned in his seat to look at me. “I don’t have anything to hide. Do you?”

I sighed. “You get that things are weird for me right now, right? I don’t really know my—Beau—all that well. I just found out about him a few weeks ago. This is all so new and just…I don’t want to do anything to screw it up.”

He gave an incredulous little laugh. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted.”

“I also don’t want to screw up anything for you with the band. I don’t want to be the reason they vote against you.”

“You’re not listening to me. They’ve already made their minds up. Nothing I do now will save my fate. Leif is an ass. He wants to go solo, but he’s too much of a bitch to tell the guys. He’s sabotaging me so he’s not the bad guy breaking up the band. Me and my hack skills are taking care of that for him.”

“One, you’re not a hack. You have so much talent.”

“Fuck yeah I do.” That annoyingly hot, smug little smirk was back on his face.

“Weird way to say thank you, but okay. And two, you don’t know how they’re going to vote. Maybe this is all part of Leif’s process. You shouldn’t shoot yourself in the foot when you still have a chance.”

“I’m confused—are you the foot? And are you arguing that we shouldn’t do this?” The look he sent me was so naughty it made my thighs clench.

A little whimper escaped me. And judging by that damn gleam in his eyes, Hunter heard it.

“No.” I huffed in annoyance. Mostly at my lack of control. “I’m saying I don’t want to tell anyone about this. For now. At least until after the vote.”

“So you’re saying you want to be my dirty little secret?”

I rolled my eyes. “Not exactly, but yes. Sure.”

Hunter shrugged. “It’s been a minute since I snuck around like a teenager, but I’m game.” He paused and tilted his head. “Honestly, it’s weird to have a state of the relationship talk before we’ve even fucked. Feels kinda backwards.”

“Only a guy would say that.” I huffed as I pushed open my door and climbed out. I reached into the backseat for my bags then headed for the house.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hunter hollered at my retreating back.

I stopped and turned to face him. “I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m not asking where is this going. All I’m saying is that I don’t want everyone in my business. I want to keep the one good thing currently in my life to myself and not have everyone dissect it and decided whether or not it’s a good idea. Fuck, I just want to live! Is that too much to ask for?”

I was panting by the time I finished my little rant.

And that annoying smirk was back on Hunter’s face. “One good thing?”

“Oh, fuck right off.” I huffed again in annoyance and flounced to the front door. I punched my code into the panel aggressively and went to shove the door open, but Hunter was already standing there.

“I’m sorry. You’re just too much fun to wind up.”

I rolled my eyes and looked away.

But he wouldn’t let me. His hand came up and cupped the side of my face, urging me to look at him again. “If this is what I gotta do to have you, I’m in. But for the record, I think it’s a bad idea. I’m not ashamed of you, and I don’t think Beau has any ground to say shit about it. He’s never been your dad, and he’s doing a piss-poor job of showing up for you now.”

Tears sheened my eyes, and I’d have to drop my bags to swipe at them. But Hunter beat me to it. His thumb gently swiped under my eye. My heart stuttered in my chest as he bent down and pressed a soft, sweet kiss against my lips. It was almost over before it even began, but I wanted so much more.

I wanted to lose myself in this man.

“He’s missing everything and is too stupid to figure it out. I know a little something about shitty dads. Sometimes, you’re better off cutting them out of your life.” He pressed another soft kiss against my lips then bent down and grabbed my bags. “You hungry? We could order something in.”

“I, uh, no. We just ate.”

“Do you mind if I order a pizza? I’m starving. I was sitting out front waiting for you and missed lunch.”

I boggled at that. I’d assumed we’d just showed up at almost the same time. He’d waited.

For me?

Wow.

The knowledge filled me with wonder and a sense of power.

But first I had to feed my man. “How about I cook something for you?”

“Fuck, I’m never going to turn down a homecooked meal.” He followed me inside and set my bags down near the door.

“You’re on.” I pressed a quick kiss on his lips then skipped to the kitchen. “Do you have any allergies or picky dislikes?”

I heard him following behind me, his bootsteps loud in the silent house. My heart raced with anticipation. It felt almost predatory, hearing his slow, heavy progress behind me. I made a mental note. Maybe some chase fantasy sexy time was in our future. Hunter had said he was up for anything.

I headed for the huge Thermador fridge to look for something edible. Oh! There were some chicken cutlets on the bottom shelf.

I bent over to grab them and heard a muffled groan behind me.

Hunter’s hands grasped my hips just before he stepped up behind me. His jean clad erection brushed against my butt. The thin sundress I wore did absolutely nothing to protect me.

Not that I wanted to be protected.

“Christ, princess. This ass is fucking criminal. I want to see it. I want to taste it.” He groaned low in his throat as his fingers tightened on my hips.

My sex clenched. I wished it was clenching around him. I wanted everything he’d said.

“Fuck the food.” He pulled me back and away from the fridge.

The chicken fell…somewhere. I was too busy turning in his arms and clutching at his shoulders to track anything.

Then he did something I’d never experienced before.

He bent down and lifted me in his arms. No groan. No wince. Just like it was easy. Expected even.

His lips came down on mine, and he kissed me with a voracious need I felt from my tingling lips to my throbbing sex.

Hunter cursed as he pulled his lips away. “Fuck, Iz. Which one is yours?”

As we kissed, he must’ve carried me out of the kitchen and down the hall. I blinked at our surroundings in confusion.

“Fuck it. This one is good enough.” He pushed open the nearest door—which wasn’t my room here—and carried me inside.

Chapter 15

Still Izzy

It was almost like having ice thrown in my face. Something about him carrying me into a bedroom made me crazy aware of where we were and what we were about to do.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t some fainting, scared virgin—I’d had sex before.

But I was very aware of the differences between me and Hunter. He was hard. I was soft. He had ab ridges. I had a round belly.

Oh my god. I was going to get naked in front of him.

This was a bad idea.

Like something that was better in theory than in practice.

I couldn’t do this.

I didn’t want to see the look on his face when he saw all of me.

All of me.

But then he kissed me again as he carried me into the room, and I forgot about everything for a second. My fingers tangled in his hair, holding him in place as his tongue teased me.

Then a comforter was at my back as he crawled onto the bed with me still in his arms.

Oh god. The bed.

Naked.

I had to pull away from his kiss as I struggled to breathe.

“You okay, princess?” The gentle concern on his face made everything inside of me clench.

I wanted to do this. Be with him. Especially when he was being all sweet and gentle.

Although another part of me was curious about the passionate hunger I’d witnessed earlier. Having him all grr and manly was hella hot too.

He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be, I reminded myself. He wouldn’t be in bed with me if he didn’t want me like that. And it wasn’t like what was under my clothing would be a surprise. There were plenty of clues.

Right?

“I’m just a little nervous,” I finally replied.

He cocked his head like he didn’t understand. “Of what? Me?”

“Just…” What was something I could say that wouldn’t make me sound like a total loser? “Kinda?”

“What the fuck?” He reared back like I’d accused him of something.

I covered my face with my hands. So embarrassing.

“No. I’m sorry, princess. But you’re going to have to spell that out for me. You’re nervous about me? How? Why?”

For some reason I laughed. Despite the tears stinging my eyes. Despite my certainty that I was screwing this up. And I all but shouted, “Because you’re you!”

“Me? You mean a drummer of a one-hit wonder band that imploded? I’m not famous. I go out all the time and no one gives a fuck.”

“No.” I wiped at my teary eyes then huffed in annoyance at how I’d derailed this. “Because you’re gorgeous. You’re fit. Muscular. You have tattoos. You’re literally my book boyfriend brought to life. And I’m…me. This.” I gestured at my prone body.

“You mean bodacious? Delectable? So fucking curvy I literally can’t wait to see your tits?” His gaze raked my whole body before resting on my boobs. Then he cocked his head and sat back on his heels. “Is this a woman thing? Like we need to turn the lights off and get under the covers? Because if so…I guess we can.”

“But you don’t want to?”

“I want to have you any way I can get you. I kinda thought I made that clear in the kitchen a minute ago.” He hitched his thumb over his shoulder. “Do you want me to close the curtains and turn the lights off?”

I closed my eyes for a second as I gathered my nerve. “No. No, I don’t want you to do that.”

“Do you want to keep doing this?” He gestured to me and the bed under me.

I nodded slowly. “Yeah. I do.”

“Well okay then.” He bent forward, bracing his arms on either side of me. “Just let me know if and when you want me to slow down or even stop.”

I held my breath. “Slow sounds kinda nice.”

His eyes flared. “We can do slow.”

Then he kissed me, and I forgot all my nerves and weird hangups. I just knew I wanted more of this.

His lips moved over mine with a surety and skill that made every part of me vibrate with need. He kept kissing me as he shifted on the bed until he was between my splayed legs.

He broke our kiss with a pop before nuzzling his way down my neck to my still covered breasts. Shaping my left breast in his palm, he bent down and sucked my nipple through my bra and dress into his mouth. Wetting the tip. Making me ache. His fingers teased and plucked at the tip.

And I moaned. It felt so good.

“Oh,” I cried out as his teeth joined in the teasing.

He moved over to my other breast—licking, teasing, sucking my nipple.

I arched into his body, rubbing my panty-covered sex against the harsh ridges of his jeans. Everything he was doing felt amazing.

I wanted more.

I wanted to be closer.

My hands went to my hemline and then my brain caught up. Naked. All the skin on display for him. All my lumps and bumps exposed. But then I saw the hungry look in his eyes, the total acceptance there, and I tugged my dress up my body before tossing it somewhere on the other side of the room.

Hunter’s eyes lit up with approval as a little smile curved his lips. “Christ, they’re just as spectacular as I dreamed.”

I didn’t have the time to break down what that meant before he was on me again. Pushing my bra cups out of the way. Plucking and teasing my naked nipples. Taking one deep into his mouth to suck.

He must’ve laid me back on the bed while he continued his torment. Because the next thing I knew, the pillow was under me and his talented fingers were moving south.

His lips continued to tease my throbbing nipples while I felt something brush against my sex. And then his fingers were there. Petting. Stroking. Caressing my embarrassingly wet pussy.

He pressed a finger into me, and my body clenched around it.

He groaned low in his throat. “Christ, princess. You’re so tight. So wet.”

And then he was gone.

I blinked a few times as my brain lethargically registered the lack of weight above me. “What…?”

Then I saw him furiously undressing next to the bed. He’d already ripped his shirt off and was currently struggling getting his pants off over his boots. His chest was just as muscular as I’d thought and covered with a gorgeous selection of tattoos. A great white shark behind a drum set on one pec, while some script text spanned the other. And he had those big rocker letters stretching over his abs. C-H-A-O was all I could see. Chaos, maybe?

But despite the display of muscles, seeing him hop around with his hard cock still behind his boxer briefs while his jeans were tangled in his boots was legitimately hilarious.

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Um, it might help if you take your shoes off first.”

“Fuck!” he shouted before he went down in a tangle of naked limbs, denim, and tattoos. On the floor, he hunched over his legs as his shoulders shook.

“Are you okay?” I whispered.

His soft laughter rolled through the room. “Christ, I feel like a moron. Not very sexy, I know.”

“I don’t know. I kinda like the thought that you were so crazy over me you couldn’t take your clothes off fast enough.” I sent him a grin before I swung my legs off the bed to sit up. “Plus there’s nothing unsexy about all of you looking like that.” I unhooked my bra and let it fall away.

His eyes zeroed in on my breasts like a heat-seeking missile. “Fuck me, Iz.”

“That’s kinda the point.” My thumbs hooked on the sides of my panties and that goosed him into action. I didn’t even get the chance to finish my little strip tease because suddenly he was there between my legs, his hands pushing mine away.

“That’s my job, sweetheart.”

And then he slowly drew my panties down my legs. He tossed them over his shoulder as he moved between my legs, forcing me to splay them wider. I went back on my elbows and dropped my head back as his tongue slowly licked its way up the center of me.

I whimpered. He hummed in reply, and I felt the vibrations all the way into my soul.

“Hunter. Oh my god. Please!” But my words only seemed to spur him on. He licked and sucked and thrust his tongue into the heart of me. His fingers teased my sex, stroking me, pressing into me. Every time his tongue brushed over my clit, sparks arced throughout my body.

Then he did something with his mouth against my clit, sucking it deep in a way I’d never felt before, and I lost it. My orgasm slammed through me, making me scream in surprise.

“Hunter!” My hands gripped his hair, holding him close as waves of pleasure crashed through me.

He panted against my slick flesh, and I had to push him away as another smaller orgasm swept through me. His beard rasped against my thighs, and shivers wracked my body again. I groaned weakly and rolled onto my side to escape.

He laughed softly as I heard him move away and the rustling of clothing.

And then he was back in the bed, nuzzling into my side, his hands petting my flushed skin. “You okay?”

I hummed. “Better than okay. More like amazing.”

“Glad to be of service.” He sounded smug as hell. A trait I was quickly attributing to him, but unlike with most people I knew it was somehow endearing with Hunter.

I rolled onto my back and blinked up at him. “Please tell me you brought condoms because I really don’t want to raid Beau’s stuff. Who knows what I’d find.”

“Safety first,” Hunter teased before he dropped a whole strip of condoms onto the bed next to us.

“Thank god. Although you don’t exactly strike me as a Boy Scout.”

“Only when it comes to sex.” He laughed with me before he sobered and raised his eyebrows. “You ready for round two?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t even gotten a chance to play with you.”

“Christ, woman. You trying to kill me?”

“What?” I blinked innocently at him.

He ripped one of the condoms open and deftly rolled it down his length. I sat up slightly and watched avidly. He was thick but not overly long. I’d definitely have a hard time gripping him in one hand though. I shivered at the thought.

Biting my lip, I tilted my head as he didn’t move, just sat there staring at me with a hungry look in his eyes and his dick in his fist. “So I take it I don’t get to play with him?”

“No. I want to come deep inside you, not down your throat or on your tits the first time.”

I laughed. “That sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“Every night since I first saw you at that party. I have more than a few fantasies about what I want to do with your gorgeous body.”

I swooned. I mean, seriously? Him thinking like that about me? How was this reality?

Once I got myself together, I smirked back at him. “So then how do you want this gorgeous body? Like this?” I arched my breasts into the air. I swore I saw some drool pool in the corner of his mouth. “Or would you rather face down ass up? You mentioned something about really liking my ass…”

His hips thrust into his hand seemingly on their own. “Definitely trying to kill me,” he mumbled. “Fuck it. I want more time with those amazing tits. We’ll save the other for later. Definitely more than once later.”

His eyes were narrowed as he walked on his knees across the bed until he stopped between my legs. He kept one hand on his dick and the condom as his other came down on the bed above my shoulder in a mouthwatering display of flexing muscles. His dick nudged me, and I couldn’t help it—I moaned as I arched up into him.

A hiss left him as he pressed slowly into my body. I felt so stretched and just…full. He stopped when his hips kissed mine. I moved restlessly under him, my nipples brushing against his smooth chest.

He groaned and dropped down slightly so he could kiss me. His lips moved hungrily over mine, and I whimpered as his hips slowly retreated. I didn’t want him to leave.

I dug my fingertips into his hips even as I arched into his body.

I wanted more.

I wanted everything.

He broke our kiss and threw his head back. His answering roar told me he was on the same page.

“So fucking tight,” he growled as he thrust into me. “So fucking sweet.” He bent down and manhandled my breast so he could suck my nipple as his hips moved against mine.

All I could do was hold on. Between his magic mouth and his monstrous dick, I was quickly building to another orgasm. Then my nipple popped out of his mouth as his quick fingers reached between us to tease my clit, and I lost it.

For the second time, I went over. My orgasm was so much stronger this time. I screamed as my whole body locked up for a second. Then my hands fell away from his hips as I sunk into the mattress beneath me, a complete puddle of boneless goo.

Hunter froze and threw his head back with a roar even louder than the first.

I watched his face totally spellbound. I did that. I made him come like that.

A beat later, he collapsed onto the bed next to me and nuzzled into my side. I cooed back at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as I hummed my contentment.

“Fuck, princess. I want to stay here forever, but I should probably take care of this condom first.”

“There’s an attached bathroom through that door there.” I nodded at the other door in the room.

“Good.” He rolled off the bed then bent down to press a quick kiss on my forehead. “Stay right there.”

I wiggled into the bed with a smile as I watched Hunter’s flexing ass retreat.

That man was more potent than should be legal.

And he was all mine.

I was still wiggling when he came back. He stopped in the doorway and raised his eyebrows. A slow smile stretched across his lips. Something about him still being all smug now, after we’d slept together, just hit me different. He was looking like that because of me. Because of how he felt about me.

Was it too soon to be in love?

I shook my head. I was being ridiculous.

Don’t go ruining it by getting feelings so soon, Iz. Be smarter. Have fun.

The bed bounced as Hunter plopped all of him on the bed next to me. “Okay, what changed? You went from looking all happy to kinda freaked out. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

My eyes widened. I couldn’t tell him what was really going on in here. He couldn’t know about the L-word slip. “Um, just feeling bad that I never cooked for you. You gotta be starving by now.”

Judging by his expression, he wasn’t really buying my excuse. But after a beat—and when I didn’t crack—he sighed. “I mean, I could eat. But then I’d also miss out on cuddle time. And I really, really like cuddle time.”

“How about we cuddle for a few minutes, and then I cook for you?”

“Deal.” He hummed happily and put his arms around me, urging me onto my side so I could be the little spoon.

A guy who fucks like a porn star and likes to cuddle? He was almost too good to be true. “What’s your deficiency?” The question popped out of my mouth before my brain could catch up.

Hunter froze, his body going rigid behind me then after a beat he squeezed me. There was definite laughter in his voice when he asked, “Where the hell did that come from?”

I groaned. “From my lack of social skills apparently. Can we please pretend like I didn’t ask that?”

“Yeah, no. Not happening. I have to know what the hell you’re thinking now.”

I shrank in his arms, trying and failing to bury my face in the mattress under us. “Ugh. Fine. I was just thinking you’re too perfect. It would really help me if you told me something bad about you. Something you wouldn’t normally tell a girl that you like.”

“Gotta say shit is not boring with you around, princess.”

“I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease. Fortunately it’s not contagious.”

His laughter shook my body, and I found myself smiling in response.

“Well, me and my dad do not get along.”

I sighed. “Join the club, sparky. Come on, dig deep. Give me something you wouldn’t normally admit. Something real.”

“I don’t know if I can. Goes against the grain to make a girl like you not attracted to me. Kinda wanna keep doing this.”

I sighed again. “Fine. Keep being all gorgeous and perfect. But it’s not on me if I catch feelings. I’m just saying.”

This time when he froze it took me a second for my brain to catch up to my mouth, and I groaned again.

He laughed, and it was impossible not to smile in response. I really loved that sound.

There was that word again…

“Noted.” His smile came through in his words. “I don’t know. I guess I can be an ass when shit isn’t clicking. Like now with the band.”

I rolled over so I could face him. His hands covered his face. “You know, I always get kinda rage-y when I’m hungry. Sounds to me like you need some food in your belly. Everything looks better when you have a full stomach.”

Hunter barked with laughter. “You’re saying that I’m just hangry?”

“I’m saying that you’ve never had my Marry Me Chicken.” I winced. “Crap. That’s awkward. But I didn’t name the dish, I swear.”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and drew me into his body as he laughed some more. “Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much in bed in my life. Okay, let’s get married over some chicken or some shit.”

Chapter 16

Hunter

I wasn’t the kind of guy to get married, but if I was I might’ve been tempted by Iz’s chicken. It was fucking amazing.

Or maybe that was her.

She had this way of saying shit that surprised the hell outta me. Snuck up on a guy. But she was so smart and so fucking gorgeous. And all luscious with her tits and ass tempting me as she moved around the kitchen. She was mesmerizing.

I was tempted to tackle her in front of the fridge more than once.

I might’ve been in the middle of a fantasy about it when the front door flung open and Phoebe came stomping in.

“I DON’T CARE!” she shrieked. “IT’S NOT MY FUCK UP. IT’S NOT ON ME TO FIX IT!”

I turned wide-eyed to Izzy, but she just sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me that way,” Beau rumbled in response. “And keep your fucking voice down. Izzy is probably asleep.”

“Izzy. IZZY. IZZY!” Phoebe screeched. “I’m so sick of hearing about Izzy. I don’t give a fuck about Izzy!”

Iz groaned and hopped off her barstool. She grabbed my empty plate and hers mumbling, “Ditto, bitch.”

I grinned at her. She smiled back at me before heading to the sink with the dishes. I so enjoyed watching her go.

I didn’t even feel guilty when Beau suddenly appeared in the kitchen.

“Shit. Hunter. Uh, what are you doing here?” Beau asked behind me.

I shifted on my barstool at the massive island so I could see him. I lifted a shoulder. “I needed some sheet music I left here earlier. Izzy let me in and invited me to stay for dinner. She’s an amazing cook.”

“Really?” Beau swung his wide-eyed stare his daughter’s way.

But Iz just shrugged.

“She should be,” Phoebe muttered from behind Beau, “with that ass.”

“What did you just say?” My boggled stare jumped from her to Beau and back again. I knew Iz referred to her as the step-monster, but I couldn’t believe she was so openly hostile in front of Beau.

He glared at her. “Don’t take your shit out on my daughter. It’s not her fault you fucked up your booking.”

“The hotel knew I was coming for the convention. Why would I only book one night? It’s ridiculous.” Phoebe’s voice took on a whining tone that hit a visceral part of my ear. “And it’s ridiculous you couldn’t find another place to stay in all of San Diego. I missed so many opportunities coming home two whole days early.”

“None of that shit excuses you for talking about Izzy like that. Apologize,” Beau barked. “Now.”

Phoebe huffed and glared at her husband before turning the glare at Iz. “Sorry.”

It sounded more like a snarl than an apology but Iz just inclined her head. “I made chicken if you’re hungry, Beau. Phoebe.”

It was sweet as hell that she was including the bitch in her offer.

Phoebe just rolled her eyes and stomped off down the hall like a petulant child.

Beau sank down on the stool next to me that Izzy had been sitting on. “That sounds wonderful, kiddo. This has been the longest day of my life.”

I mean, it was his fault for marrying a shrew. She couldn’t have hidden a personality deficiency like that for long.

Izzy dished up a plate of her awesome chicken and pasta then slid it across the island to Beau, avoiding my eyes the entire time.

Oh princess. I had to fight to keep my laughter inside. She was going to have a hell of a time hiding us if this is how she acted on day one.

Meanwhile, Beau was humming with happiness at the amazing meal she’d cooked.

“This is fucking amazing, kiddo. You definitely didn’t get this skill from me,” Beau mumbled around a mostly full mouth.

Iz froze. Her face went blank. And I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I heard her breathing hitch like she was fighting tears.

It absolutely killed me to sit here and pretend like I couldn’t tell she was doing everything she could to hold herself together. Not that Beau noticed. He hunched over his plate like a prison inmate wanting to keep it all for himself, his long curly hair falling over his shoulder and shielding his view of Iz.

You okay? I silently mouthed at her.

She shook her head vehemently.

If this was what they were like in front of virtual strangers, what was it like when no one was around?

And I especially didn’t like the parallels I saw between this and my own family. One adult lashing out—either because of alcohol or vanity—and the other adult half-assedly smoothing things over. It was so fucking toxic. I wanted to yank her out of here and take her home with me, but she clearly didn’t want that. She didn’t even want to acknowledge me in any real way.

It was so tempting to say fuck it and tell Beau what I really thought of him, but I wouldn’t do that to Iz. She really wanted to make a connection with her father.

Not that Beau seemingly felt the same way.

His fork scraped across his plate before he gobbled up the last bite. “That was amazing, kiddo. And so needed after the fucking day I’ve had.” Then he turned to me. “You up for some noodling in my office? I really need to play and unwind after today. And fuck knows I’m not going to my bedroom anytime soon.”

“I, uh, sure. It’s not like I have plans.”

Beau laughed and clapped me on the shoulder. “No girl waiting for you at home, huh?”

“You know what happened with the last one. I don’t have time for fake bullshit.” My words were biting but seemed to go over Beau’s head.

“I hear that, man.” He pushed away from the countertop. “Maybe we can start working on something new, surprise the guys on Monday.”

“I, uh, sure.” My stomach hollowed despite the huge meal I’d just eaten. Beau spoke like I had a chance at recording their next album with them.

Iz sent me an encouraging smile that was tinged with sadness. I didn’t even have to ask what it was about. I was the one bonding with her father while she was delegated to being the help.

I almost refused to go, but she gave me an encouraging nod.

And I’m ashamed to admit that I went with it.

It was after one in the morning when we finally wound down.

“That was awesome, kid.” Beau grinned tiredly at me as he unhooked his guitar strap. “I think we really have something with that last one. We’ll have to write it down for the guys.”

“I think it’ll be a good one for you guys.”

“’You guys?’” Beau tipped his head with a frown. “Why doesn’t that include you?”

“Come on, Beau. You’ve seen how this last week has gone. The writing is on the wall—Leif isn’t going to vote me in. He’s had it out for me since day one.”

“Nah, man. I think you’ve got it all wrong. Leif is just passionate about music. He wants to get it right. This isn’t any different than he is before we record an album. I think you’re just getting the brunt of it because you’re new. Your sound isn’t the same as Gio, and it’s just taking him a minute to get the flow.”

“That’s not what Ryker and Mal think. They’re betting on Leif making me the fall guy so he can go solo without ruffling any feathers with you all.”

“Well that’s fucked up. And really shortsighted. That’s the kind of shit that ends friendships forever. I sure as hell wouldn’t look at him the same.”

I hitched a shoulder. “I guess we’ll see who’s right after the vote in a few weeks.”

“I honestly don’t think you have anything to worry about, kid. You’ve got an amazing sound, awesome dedication, and a great work ethic. You’re the missing piece we didn’t know we needed. I mean if he hadn’t ODed, I’d be voting to oust Gio in favor of you.”

“Whoa.” That was a huge—and really fucked up—compliment. “Uh, thanks I guess?”

Beau raked his fingers through his hair. “Sorry, man. It’s just been a wild month you know? And apparently, I lost my filter somewhere along the way.”

“It’s probably somewhere back in San Diego with Phoebe’s.”

He winced. “Nah, man, she lost hers long ago. I’m thinking more like back on our honeymoon. Shit hasn’t been right with her since the wedding.”

I thought about saying something about her showing her true colors once her hooks were officially in, but that would be beating a dead horse. Beau was clearly already seeing his wife’s faults. He just wasn’t doing anything about it.

And he was continually letting his daughter down by not showing up for her.

But I didn’t want to fuck things up with him now that he’d given me a kernel of hope.

I might actually make it with the Licks.

And I was fucking his daughter.

It was all so tangled and fucked up.

A smart man would break things off now that all wasn’t lost. But then I’d never been accused of being smart. Especially since I was pretty sure I’d left my condoms in that bedroom we’d used.

Fuuuuuck.

“You good to let yourself out?” Beau asked, rubbing his eyes. “I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know how to work the gate on this side.” My eyes bounced around the room while I struggled to come up with an excuse. “Uh, I’m just gonna use the bathroom before I go. But I’ll see you Monday?”

“Yeah, man. Monday.” Beau slapped my shoulder as he walked past me. “And don’t stress too much about Leif, okay? He’s just a mouthy primadonna. You get used to it after a while. You’re good.”

I smiled weakly at him then moved like I was heading for the bathroom nearby.

Only once he’d cleared the end of the hallway, I turned around and crept in the direction of the bedroom we’d used a few hours ago.

When I pushed the door open, I got a little surprise.

Not-so Goldilocks was sleeping in the bed.

I grinned at the sight.

Iz was curled up on her side with my long-sleeved undershirt balled up under her chin. And then I took in the rest of her. The flirty short-shorts that showed so much of her legs. The thin silky top that did nothing to disguise her pert nipples. I hadn’t spent near enough time worshipping her amazing tits.

I was so fucking tempted to curl up behind her. I wanted to feel those luscious tits in my palms if I couldn’t taste them.

But she wanted to keep this under wraps. For me.

And maybe for her too? I hadn’t thought about it, but I doubted that hooking up with a washed-up rocker was what Beau wanted for his girl. Despite all the compliments he’d just given me, no man wanted his daughter with a guy like me.

Like him.

Sighing, I bent down and brushed my lips against her cheek.

As I straightened, I spotted the condoms on the bed behind her. Along with her cell phone.

I picked up both and stashed the strip of condoms in my back pocket.

Opening her contacts, I added a new entry under the name ‘Bang Buddy’ with my phone number.

Then I deleted the name.

I had to come up with something better. Something that didn’t feel like a brush off. Cuddle Buddy? Rim Shot?

Fuck. This shouldn’t be so hard.

More than friends? Ride Cymbal?

I settled on ‘It’s Complicated’ and sent me a text from her phone so I had her number too. Then I put her phone down on the bed where she’d find it and stared at her for another minute.

A smart guy would walk away and forget this whole thing. It was bound to end messy.

But like I said, I’d never been accused of being smart.

Chapter 17

Still Hunter

The ringing of my cell woke me up. I slapped at my nightstand to make it stop. A beat later, a thin voice called my name.

“Hunter, you there?”

I groaned and rolled over. After a beat, I grabbed my phone and held it to my ear. “What.”

James laughed. “Fuck man, you don’t sound good. Late night?”

“No later than normal. I didn’t get home ‘til almost two, I think?”

“Shit.” He sucked in a breath. “That mean things are working out with the new band?”

“Huh?” I sat up and rubbed my head. “What time is it?”

“Just after ten.”

I groaned. “I slept like shit.”

Apparently my long-lost conscience decided to make a reappearance and torture me with all my fuck ups last night. I might’ve gotten a solid three hours. Maybe.

“That mean you’re not up for some Café Maple?” The sad note in James’ voice came across clear as day.

I rubbed my eyes. “Nah, man. I can meet. It’s Sunday, right?”

“Last I checked.”

“’Kay. Good. Meet you there in thirty?”

“Sounds good.”

I ended the call and groaned my disappointment at having to leave my bed. My apartment might not be the highest fashion like Beau’s house, but I spent some money on my bed. Aside from my Charger, it was the only thing I’d invested in. High-quality mattress, the softest sheets, a cuddly comforter, all on a four-post canopy farmhouse bedframe. It was my escape.

And it was probably telling that I never brought Cheyenne back here. We’d always go to her place—mostly because she was never ready in time. But maybe also because I knew she’d screw up my safe haven.

That was too deep for so little sleep.

James had already grabbed a coveted table in the corner when I arrived.

I almost cried when I saw the cup of coffee waiting for me.

After collapsing in the chair, I took a few gulps then sighed. “You are an amazing friend.”

“You’re welcome.” He buried his head in the menu despite the fact that nothing had changed here in years.

Holding my cup in front of my face to inhale the delicious aroma, I stared at my friend. He looked rough—rumpled tee, crazy hair, and beard growth I’d never seen on his face before. This wasn’t the smooth James Love I’d known for so long.

“What the hell is going on? Is everything okay?”

“Let’s order first,” James replied ominously. “I don’t wanna get interrupted.”

On edge now, I looked around for a waitress. After waving one down, she sidled up to the table with a special smile.

“Haven’t seen you two around here in a minute.” Helen smiled as she pulled out her tablet.

“That’s cuz this one has gone Hollywood on us,” James replied, mutinously.

“Oh, you’re an actor?” Helen batted her spidery eyelashes at me.

I shook my head. “Nah, just have a few new friends.”

“Rich, famous friends,” James grumbled.

Helen’s eyes bounced between us. “Right. Great. Good for you, I guess. Uh, what can I get you two?”

We put in our order, and after Helen ran away from our table, I turned to my former best friend. “What the fuck was that?”

“What?”

“Seriously? You know I’m under an NDA. I shouldn’t have even told you about the band. What the fuck are you trying to do to me? Fuck with me and my livelihood?”

“Ugh.” James pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “Sorry, man. It just slipped out. You know I’m happy for you. I just wish…”

“I know. And believe me if it doesn’t work out with them, I’ll be banging on your door in a heartbeat.”

“What the fuck does that mean? I thought you were in. You signed a contract and everything.”

“I told you it’s a short-term contract with the option to extend.”

“Right. But it’s you. No way are they going to let you go. You’re fucking awesome.”

I smiled. Okay, that kinda made up for his attitude earlier. “Thanks, man. But not everyone agrees apparently.”

“What’s going on?”

I quickly filled him in on practice with Leif, the differing opinions on his attitude, and the upcoming vote. “So if you’re still looking for a drummer in a few weeks, I might be available.”

“Fuck, bro. That sucks.”

“Seconded.”

James heaved a sigh. “Uh, not to rub salt in your wound, but is this a bad time to tell you that Cheyenne’s been sniffing around Gabe? I might’ve seen them hooking up last night at Blindfold.”

There was an underlying glee in his voice, like he was happy that Gabe was screwing me over. What the fuck?

I shrugged. “We broke up a week or so ago. I found her crawling all over a guy at a party.” I was not going to name names. “She can do whatever she wants with Gabe. The two of them deserve each other as far as I’m concerned.”

James’ top lip curled like he was disgusted—with me or Cheyenne, honestly I didn’t know at this point.

I was going to talk to him about hooking up with my bassist’s daughter, but now I was holding it back. James almost spilled my business to a fucking waitress. Who else would he tell?

Suddenly, I didn’t know if I could trust my best friend with anything going on in my life.

And that wasn’t a great feeling.

“What’s going on with you?” I finally asked.

He groaned and raked his hands through his hair. “Shit is so fucked. I think I’m going to have to downsize. Without any money coming in and with royalties drying up, I’m going to be fucked in a few months’ time.”

Unlike me, James had gone out and spent our first few royalty checks like they were the beginning of a windfall.

I hissed out a breath and sat back in my chair. “The condo?”

“Without a doubt. And I’ll probably have to sell the Escalade too.”

“You know you can always crash at my place until you get your feet under you again. Have you had any luck putting another band together?”

We talked prospects and lamented on how Gabe fucked up all our lives.

Which was when it really hit me.

I was doing the same thing.

Although granted, Iz wasn’t married, so was it really that big of a deal? She hardly knew Beau and neither did I.

Or was I just trying to justify my behavior?

Fuck, this was so much simpler when I was sure they were voting me out.

“You really think the vote will go against you?” James asked, the hope in his voice annoyingly clear.

“I don’t know. It’s looking that way—at least to me. Beau thinks it might just be Leif’s method or whatever. I don’t feel good about it though.”

Judging by the smile that stretched across his face, James liked what he was hearing.

Ass.

As I walked to my car later, shaking off the scummy feeling James’ happiness had given me, my phone pinged in my back pocket.

Pulling it out, I grinned at the screen despite myself.

Princess: Is this who I think it is?

I leaned against my car as I typed out my reply.

Me: Do you want to know what I have you saved in my phone as?

Princess: I have a few guesses…

Me: For the record it doesn’t involve any body parts

Princess: …

Princess: …

Princess: Yeah, I have nothing then

I laughed.

Me: Princess

Princess: ?

Me: That’s your name in my phone. Princess

Princess: Oh. I mean, I knew that!

I laughed some more. Christ, she was cute.

Me: You busy today? Any chance you can sneak away for some ‘complicated’ time?

Princess: Of course. How about you pick me up two blocks south of Beau’s front gate? Just to be sure

Me: Got you. Be there in thirty

Princess: Can’t wait!

Oh, I was definitely going to hell. And I was going to enjoy my entire fall down.

Thirty minutes later, when I pulled up to the location, no one was there.

Me: Here and waiting in my Charger.

And nothing. No text. No Iz.

I waited.

And waited.

Finally I saw her jogging down the sidewalk, her voluptuous tits swaying under her sundress. Lots of leg flashed at me as she bounced toward me. Grinning, I climbed out of my car and walked toward her.

“Hey.” Her voice was adorably out of breath. When I reached her, she stopped and bent over her knees, panting. “Sorry. I didn’t realize how large blocks are here. Pretty sure it’s twice as far as in Washington.”

Adorable.

“Aww, I could’ve parked closer.”

“I didn’t want Beau to see you. There’s so much tension in that house right now. I guess Phoebe’s influencer feature didn’t go as planned, and she’s blaming Beau. He yelled at her about being a bitch—honestly, I didn’t know he had it in him. Then it devolved into something about a baby. She wants one, and now maybe he doesn’t. It was ugly.”

“Sorry, princess.” I wrapped my arms around her, and she snuggled into my shoulder.

“This trip hasn’t gone at all like I thought it would.” She sighed heavily. Her arms squeezed me for a second before she stepped back. “But I’m not sad I met you.”

Warmth unfurled deep in my gut. But I didn’t want to think about what that meant. “Ditto.” Then like the punk I was, I changed the subject. “Did you get a chance to eat?”

She laughed. “Phoebe doesn’t hang out in the kitchen. It’s the one room I’m almost guaranteed not to run into her. Unless she’s looking for Beau.”

“Good. I just ate too. Anything you’ve been dying to do? It’s kinda late to hit Disney, but I’m game if you are.”

She made a face. “Eh, not really keen on lines, and like you said, it’s too late in the day to head there now. How about the tar pits? I’ve always had a thing for woolly mammoths.”

“Sure, but they’re not woolly mammoths.”

“What? No way.”

I kept my arm around her as I guided her to my car. “I saw a documentary once.”

She threw me a look and laughed.

“Seriously. They’re another kind of mammoth—and not as hairy.”

Once we were on our way, she whipped her phone out and google checked me.

“Well crap. You’re right.” She sighed and stowed her phone back in her bag. “They’re still cute, though.”

I laughed. “You still wanna go?”

“Of course. I mean, if you want.”

“Sure. I haven’t been since high school. It might even be fun now.”

“I’ll have you know I’m a very fun person.” Iz smirked at me.

I grinned back at her. “I noticed.”

And she wasn’t wrong. We held hands as we walked the ground of the tar pits. She regaled me with tales of her childhood dream to be the next Indiana Jones, digging up her backyard. It was cute as fuck, but I noticed how all her stories were devoid of any mention of her mom. Like even thinking about her was too hard for Iz.

When we walked inside the thankfully air-conditioned museum, it felt natural to put my arm around her. Somehow my thumb found its way to her belt and hooked in. She’d whisper in my ear, and I’d smile at her. We were one of those couples.

Someone even asked us if we were on our honeymoon.

It should’ve freaked me out, but I just found it funny. Or maybe it was the way Iz rolled her eyes after the busybody walked away.

I was just mesmerized by her.

It felt natural to invite her back to my place.

I tried not to think about how I’d never done this with Cheyenne. Or any woman really. I was usually so focused on work that I didn’t take the time to slow down and let someone else in.

But Iz clicked seamlessly into my life.

She steered clear of my favorite spot on the couch without me mentioning it. She cuddled into my side as we watched an old tv show on Netflix. She looked cute as hell with her stuffed mammoth tucked under her chin.

Then she pulled out her phone and offered to order dinner. Like I’d ever let that happen.

“Fuck no. You were too quick with paying at the tar pits. Like hell are you buying dinner too.”

“To be fair, I will expect you to put out later if I buy dinner.”

My phone dropped into my lap as I tackled her onto her back on the sofa. “In that case…”

Teasing turned into kissing and stroking every inch of skin I could find. “So fucking luscious.”

“Hunter.” She moaned. “I didn’t mean you have to put out now.”

“I barely held it together watching you bend over in front of me at that museum. Every fucking sign was so low. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were doing it on purpose.”

She smirked up at me.

“Fuck. You did do it on purpose.” I don’t know why I was surprised.

She shrugged. “Just trying to keep the spark alive.”

“You’re a fucking supernova. They don’t get any brighter than you.”

Tears sheened her eyes. “That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about me.”

I leaned down and kissed her long and hard. Clearly the men she’d met before me were morons.

Finally I broke the kiss with a groan. “Fine, you pay for dinner then. But only because I fully expect to put out later.”

She arched, brushing her gorgeous tits against my chest. “Mmm, I don’t think I’m hungry anymore.”

“Thank fuck,” I bit out before tackling her on the couch again. I ground my still covered dick against her naked thigh. “Gotta say, I fucking love sundress season.”

Iz moaned. “It’s LA. Isn’t it like always sundress season?”

“I dunno. Never really paid attention before. But I fucking love the way you fill out a sundress. With your tits spilling over the top and the easy access below.” I ran a teasing hand over her supple thighs then up to where her thin cotton panties were already damp. “Fuck me, princess. You’re soaked.”

“Can’t help it. You’ve been teasing me this whole time, grabbing my ass, and now with you grinding your big dick into me.” She gave a breathy little moan. “I need to take the edge off.”

“How about hard and fast here on the couch, and then I’ll make it up to you after dinner in my bed?”

“Not sure if there’s anything to make up, but I wouldn’t turn down a repeat. I have a feeling I’ll love hard and fast with you.” Then she deliberately rubbed her breasts against my chest again.

I took her lips in a punishing kiss as my hands went to her curvy hips. I kissed her once more before flipping her over and rucking up her skirt. It only took one tug to decimate her panties. I didn’t miss the way her breathing hitched as I ripped them off her. Tossing the scrap of cloth over my shoulder, I spread her open and ran my thumb over her dripping folds.

Fucking perfect.

Impatient as hell, I grabbed a condom from my jeans and rolled it on before I was thrusting into her.

Iz groaned deep and tossed her hair back. “Oh my god! You’re so fucking big this way. I can’t, I don’t…”

Despite her protests, she thrust her hips back into mine like she wanted me harder and faster.

That sounded perfect to me.

I grabbed her hip with my right hand while I teased her tight little nipple with my left and pounded into her.

She squealed but matched me thrust for thrust.

It took all of a minute before I felt the telltale tremors around my dick. She screamed my name as she went over.

I grabbed her hips with both hands and slammed into her over and over, riding her through her orgasm and into my own.

This time, I shouted her name as I came.

Then we both slid bonelessly onto the couch, me behind her with my dick still inside her.

Chapter 18

Izzy

I didn’t want the night to end.

After our torrid sex on the sofa, I made good on my threat and ordered dinner. I’d asked Hunter what was the one food I had to try and he pointed me to barbecue Korean tacos—thinly sliced beef ribeye with kimchi, spicy mayo, topped with onions and cilantro, all on a homemade flour tortilla. They were ah-mazing.

I ate three.

After streaming some rom-com movie, we tumbled into his surprisingly romantic looking four poster bed and kissed and humped for hours.

I was sore. Too much friction and not enough stretching. Clearly, I was out of practice. Not that I was complaining. Or only because it had to end.

At least for tonight.

“Where are you going?” Hunter mumbled, his sleepy eyes barely cracked open.

I froze on the edge of the bed. I’d been slowly creeping away from his tentacle hold—the man loved to cuddle—but apparently, I’d moved too much too fast. “I gotta head back to my—Beau’s. He doesn’t even know I left.”

I bit back the bitter words about him not caring either. Like saying them out loud would give them more power.

Hunter groaned. “Right. Give me a minute.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I ordered an Uber. They’ll be here any minute.”

“Fuck.” He stretched his arms over his head in a tantalizing display of flexing muscles and tattoos.

I hadn’t spent nearly enough time admiring his chest. I’d been too distracted by all his other amazing bits…okay, mostly his cock.

Hunter groaned again. “I’m starting to feel like a dirty hook up. You wine and dine me and now you’re dashing out the second I fall asleep.”

“Aww, poor baby.” I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. “Is it bothering you that the tables have turned?”

He squinted at me. “It’s seriously spooky how well you can read me. What the fuck is that?”

Soulmates, the annoying little voice in my mind piped up.

Shut up. This wasn’t that.

And yet, I didn’t want to leave. Hunter’s bed was like a cloud. And he was a cuddler. A firm, muscular, godlike man who fucked like a porn star and cuddled like a golden retriever. How was this real life? Specifically my life?

My phone chimed, and I jumped.

My Uber.

“Right, that’s my cue.” I smiled tremulously at him. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” I felt oddly vulnerable. Like this was all a fantasy, and I was crazy for believing it could be real.

He tipped his chin at me. “And maybe later you could sneak away so we can do this again?”

A wave of relief swept over me. I really, really liked hearing that he wasn’t done with me either. “Of course. Especially the tacos. We have to have those again.”

He huffed. “Am I seriously coming in second to tacos?”

“Remind me of your skills again?”

He was quick to kiss the smirk off my face.

My phone chimed again.

My ride.

I broke our kiss and then gave him one more quick peck. “Gotta go before my star rating goes in the toilet.”

“Fine. Go.” He sighed. “It is nice not to be the one doing the walk of shame for a change.”

I giggled. Somehow, I had a hard time picturing Hunter being ashamed about anything. Especially when it came to sex. He knew what he wanted and did it. “See ya!”

He lifted his hand, and I tried not to think about how I didn’t want to leave.

Instead, I dashed out of his apartment and headed for the car idling at the curb. After verifying the driver with the app, I climbed in, buckled up, and closed my eyes. The driver turned up the radio and let the music fill the silence.

Of course it had to be a Long Licks song.

It felt weird to listen to them now. I’d grown up with their music. I knew all the words to their biggest hits. And all the time, the bassist had been my father.

I still didn’t know how to feel about that.

I thought back to all the conversations with my mom about my mysterious sperm donor, which I could count on one hand because the topic had always been forbidden. In high school I’d half wondered if I was the product of rape given how strongly she’d react to the topic.

The lyrics to ‘Not Gonna Forget’ rolled through the car. If I listened closely, I could almost pick out Beau’s low grumbly bass voice in the background.

Everything was so fucked up. Mom was gone. Suddenly I had a new dad, but he didn’t seem to give a shit about me. His wife definitely didn’t give a shit. I had a crazy hot man into me, but I couldn’t tell anyone about him. I was in this weird miasma of apathy and feeling everything with Hunter at the same time.

Honestly, I didn’t know which end was up.

‘Not Gonna Forget’ transitioned to the Tin Gods’ song ‘Corruption,’ and I had to laugh. Seriously? Pretty sure this was the song that’d been playing when Hunter and I kissed at the Hollywood Bowl. I half expected I was being pranked. This song choice was insane.

At least it wasn’t the ukulele version of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow.’ That might just break me right now.

I was firmly back in apathy land by the time the car pulled up to the gates.

“You can let me out here,” I told the driver. We exchanged pleasantries, and I exited. After typing my code into the gate, I stepped through the small man-gate then made sure to lock it behind me.

All was silent as I climbed the driveway toward Beau’s massive mansion.

What would it have been like to visit here as a kid? Would I have turned out the same? Would I have gone to college for meteorology like my mom? Or would I have been interested in the music industry? Lord knew I couldn’t sing, but maybe I would’ve been into talent development or sound mixing.

So many unanswered questions. So many holes in my history.

I keyed in my code at the door and stepped into a silent house.

What was I doing here?

What was the point of being here? Beau didn’t care. His wife only cared in the sense that she wanted me gone.

I was no closer to answers than I’d been weeks ago, standing in that luxe hotel suite in Seattle.

“I’d give it a three.”

I screamed.

Clutching my chest in horror, I turned to the corner of the room where the voice had come from. Now that my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I glared at Beau sprawled out on the firm, uncomfortable sofa in the sitting room. “You scared the crap outta me!”

“Ditto.” He lifted his eyebrows. “You didn’t answer my texts. You ignored my calls. Where have you been, kid?”

I scoffed. “Are you serious?” I stomped through the room to the kitchen. This bullshit called for ice cream. And since his booted footsteps followed me, I continued my rant. “You waited twenty-three years to do the disappointed dad routine? You’re about a decade too late.”

“That doesn’t excuse your behavior.”

I pulled open the huge freezer door and grabbed one of the pints of Salted Malted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough I’d stashed in there. Stomping over to the silverware drawer, I grabbed a spoon and pointed it at my neglectful sperm donor. “I’ve been here for weeks, and you didn’t give a shit before. You don’t get bonus points for noticing the one time I left your palace.”

He huffed a breath. “I know shit around here has been busy and intense, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

“You have a real shitty way of showing it. Why am I even here, Beau? I’m not some doll you can put on a shelf and only take out when it’s convenient for you. I’m supposed to be in grad school. My whole life has been put on pause, and you can’t even bother to do the bare minimum of showing up occasionally.”

“I know. Everything has gone to shit. I fucked up. I thought I could balance the band and you and Phoebe. But I’ve never been good at juggling. I always drop a ball, and I’m ashamed as hell that I dropped you.”

It was hard to be all indignant when he was agreeing with me. Sighing, I twisted open my pint and dug in. “Well. Yeah. I agree,” I finished lamely. “So what are we going to do about it?”

“It’s your lucky day. I pissed my wife off so epically that she fucked off to Santa Barbara with her friends for a spa week or some shit. She won’t be back for days—maybe a whole week if we’re lucky. So I only have two balls in the air at the moment.”

It shouldn’t fill me with happiness that he was having marital problems. Although I couldn’t help but notice he seemed equally happy. That wasn’t right or normal. But I’d also never been married, so what did I know? “And you guys are having practice every day this week? So that leaves us with what? Breakfast? An occasional dinner?”

“Nah, I canceled practice tomorrow. I’m taking my little girl to Disneyland.”

Unexpectedly, my eyes filled with tears, and I almost dropped my precious pint of ice cream.

It was ridiculous. I was a grown woman. I’d been to Disney several times growing up. But something about hearing Beau say it like that meant so much to me.

“Really?” I whispered.

“Absolutely.” A grin stretched across his bearded face. “I know I wasn’t there to do the typical dad shit when you were growing up, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a moment together now.”

I smiled at him. “I’d like that. I mean, I’d like to just spend time together and get to know you. It doesn’t have to be at Disneyland.”

“Nah, I saw that reaction. No way am I letting you down again.”

I tipped my head at him before scooping out a bite of deliciousness. “I appreciate that.”

“Besides, I heard all about what I missed out on this weekend. You guys had a blast. I feel like an ass for not being there.”

My face heated. I wondered who all he talked to and what exactly they’d said. Ryker? Mal? Couldn’t have been Leif since we’d hardly seen the jerk that night.

But no one spilled about me and Hunter…right?

They couldn’t have, I decided, staring at Beau’s relaxed body language. At the very least, he’d tease me about it.

Maybe.

Shit.

Instead of answering, I shoveled another scoop of ice cream into my mouth and hummed.

Beau smirked. “Now I want to know who told you about Salt & Straw?”

“You’re kidding, right? They have stores in Seattle too.”

“Ah, I thought it might’ve been your secret boyfriend.”

I choked for the second time that night.

But then Beau went on. “Or girlfriend?”

Yeah, we weren’t doing this. “I appreciate you being interested in my life, but this isn’t the place we’re going to start. You’ve had weeks to show up for me and haven’t bothered. You don’t get to poke around the one place I’ve found here where I feel safe.”

“So there is someone.” He inclined his head, his gaze narrowed on me.

I felt a drop of sweat slide down my spine despite the air conditioning, but I wouldn’t break.

Beau sighed. “I hope the asshole is worthy of you. Because you deserve to have someone fight for you as ferociously as you just fought for them.”

That was…oddly sweet. And so unexpected.

Beau pushed away from the counter and stood up. “Get some sleep. We leave for Disney at seven thirty.”

After giving me a sad attempt at a smile, he walked away.

Leaving me alone in the kitchen with a pint of ice cream in my hand and a head full of doubts. About Beau. About me.

And maybe a few about Hunter too.

Chapter 19

Still Izzy

Disneyland was eye opening.

Before today, I would’ve said I thought I knew who Beau was—a tough but quiet guy who didn’t put up with bullshit.

Clearly, I didn’t have a clue.

He shouted. He laughed so hard and loud that people turned around to look. He flirted with babies. He was open and gregarious and so far from the person I thought I knew.

“That was fucking awesome!” Beau shouted as we staggered off the Guardians of the Galaxy ride. He beamed at our VIP guide. “Can we go again?”

Middle-aged Dianne in her plaid vest and blue ruffled skirt smiled patiently at Beau like a doting aunt. “If you’d like.”

I shook my head vehemently. “No, please don’t make me. We survived. We cheated death. Can we do something normal that keeps our feet on the ground? Maybe meet Mickey or Goofy now?”

I could see Dianne fighting the urge to smile. “We can always split up so everyone has the opportunity to do what they want. I could escort you to the ride again Mr. Benoit and then find a character experience or a calmer ride for Ms. Monti.”

“No.” Beau sighed. “It’s not the same if I’m riding with strangers. This is supposed to be a bonding experience.”

“Well, after cheating death twice between the Incredicoaster and that horror show—” I jerked a thumb at the ride entrance behind us. “My adrenaline is almost depleted. I need something calmer with a side of happy, please.”

“You must get that level-headedness from your mother.”

I ignored the pang that threatened to open my deep gaping wound. Push it down, keep it at bay. Swallowing hard, I ignored the pain and poked back. “And I’m starting to see exactly why you became a rock star.”

“Eh.” Beau shrugged. “I’m getting too old to keep snorting bumps with groupies.”

Since this was his third or fourth reference today about what his life used to be like, it passed me without a blimp. Instead, a snarky comment about Phoebe was on the tip of my tongue, but I let it go. We were having so much fun—mostly—and there was always the chance that mentioning her might summon her like Bloody Mary or Beetlejuice.

I shuddered.

“Can I assume that you’ve changed your mind about the churro?” Dianne asked with a faint smile, a paper wrapped churro in her hand.

My stomach lurched. “No thank you.”

“I’ll take it.” Beau snatched the treat out of her hand and had a third of it in his mouth before we could blink.

There was an obvious joke there, but I let it go. Oh! I turned to Dianne. “Can we meet Elsa?”

“You want to meet a princess over Mickey?” Beau mumbled around a mouthful of churro.

“Gross. And maybe?”

He sighed. “Whatever my princess wants.”

My whole body convulsed involuntarily, and bile tickled the back of my throat. “Please don’t call me that.”

He frowned. “Okay…”

“For the record—” Dianne lifted a finger. “You don’t have to choose. I can make both of those meets happen.”

“Yes!” I crowed. “Please.”

Beau shrugged. “I’m down with whatever. I wouldn’t mind a picture of you, me, and Mickey though.”

I smiled as a warmth spread through my chest. I wanted that picture too.

Dianne clasped her hands together. “I’m guessing that means you’re both done with California Adventure? Are we good to head into the Magic Kingdom?”

“Lead the way, your majesty.” Beau genuflected before her.

I giggled at his silliness, but felt so light and happy as we made our way across the park and to the next one. We cut through the crowd with ease. Dianne knew the best routes.

As we walked, I turned to Beau. “I’m surprised more people aren’t recognizing you. I thought you’d be mobbed here.”

“Eh, it’d be more of an issue for Leif, or even Mal, but most people don’t care about the bass guitarist. How many can you name off the top of your head, let alone recognize in the wild?”

“Does that bother you?” He sounded unaffected, but it was hard to imagine that it didn’t make him feel some kind of way.

“I do it for the music. I don’t care about the fame as much anymore. Don’t get me wrong—I was a selfish asshole when I was younger. The way I screwed over your mother is a point of fact. But I hope I’m more mature than that now.”

“Theme park rides notwithstanding, I’d say you are.”

“Hey, everyone is a kid at Disneyland.” He grinned back at me. “That definitely doesn’t count.”

From the depths of my bag, my phone pinged. But I ignored it.

But then it pinged again.

Beau turned his head in an obvious attempt to give me a tiny bit of privacy.

When I pulled my phone out, I saw a text from my bestie along with a ton I’d missed from Hunter apparently.

Alexis: How’s Cali? You still want to stay longer?

Alexis: I can always come to you. I miss your face!

I smiled. My bestie was the best.

And then I read Hunter’s texts.

It’s Complicated: Hey, just heard Beau canceled practice. Is everything okay?

It’s Complicated: Kinda freaking out here. Let me know you’re okay

It’s Complicated: If you don’t reply in the next hour, I’m coming over

It’s Complicated: On my way

Oh shit. Bypassing a text reply, I hit his contact and called him back.

He answered on the first ring. “Tell me you’re okay.”

“You are ridiculous. Of course I’m okay. I, uh, I’m at Disney with Beau.”

A short silence buzzed over the line followed by a cacophony of horns and muffled yelling. “Shit. I missed the light.”

I giggled.

“But, um, that’s great. I think. Right?”

“Yeah,” I answered softly. “Yeah it is.”

“Right. Okay. You’re busy, so I’m going to go. Fuck, I feel stupid.” He muttered the last bit almost to himself.

And my heart melted. “It’s not stupid. You’re not ridiculous. I didn’t mean that. I really, really appreciate that you were worried about me. It’s sweet.”

“You know that’s right up there with nice as far as non-compliments go for guys, right?”

I laughed incredulously. “What does that even mean?”

“Ignore me. This was stupid. I gotta go.”

He ended the call before I could object.

Sighing, I typed out a quick reply to Alexis and sent her a picture Dianne had taken of us at the pier bridge with the huge Mickey Ferris wheel in the background.

Alexis: Glad to see he’s finally showing up. Call me later!

I shoved my phone back into my bag and tried to push Hunter’s strange reaction to the back of my mind.

“Problems in paradise?” Beau rumbled next to me.

I shook my head. “Just my bestie. You met her in Washington.”

“Right.” Beau snorted. “We’re just going to pretend like I didn’t hear your end of that call. Got it.”

“Do you want my input on your marriage? Because I have opinions there that I know you don’t want to hear.”

“Doubtful. But noted. Relationships are off limits. Got it.” He sped up slightly so he could walk in step with Dianne. A minute later, they were laughing as Beau gestured gregariously.

And I walked alone slightly behind him. Like an outsider.

It soured the rest of the afternoon for me. I pretended and put on a happy face as we posed with Mickey and when I met Elsa, by myself yet surrounded by six-year-old girls. But I felt the distance between me and Beau. I might’ve been faking it, but he was definitely less than warm with me and spent more time talking to Dianne than before.

We went on a few more rides in Disneyland then ate a few snacks. And by the time we were waving goodbye to Dianne, I was a weird riot of emotions.

Beau called me on it on the drive back to his place.

“Look, I get that this is new and strange or whatever. I don’t know where the boundaries are here. I’ve never had a kid before. But you’re also an adult. I’ve never done any of this—and I know you haven’t either. So I’m going to make mistakes as we figure this all out.”

I nodded. “I agree. I’ve never even had a father figure before.” I cleared my throat roughly. “Mom never really dated while I was growing up, or if she did, she did it outside of my realm, so I never knew about it. The closest thing I’ve had is my bestie, Alexis’ father, and even that has been distant.”

He inclined his head. “It’s going to take a minute for us to figure out how to relate or whatever. I’ve never even had a female friend before—not since like high school, maybe—so all this is new to me. Clearly, I can’t treat you like one of the guys and rib on you about your secret boyfriend or girlfriend. I don’t even know which you have.”

“Neither. It’s not like that. We’re…whatever. Complicated. Temporary. It doesn’t matter.”

“That’s not what it sounded like to me, but I’m happy to let it go.” Beau shifted on the bench seat until he could mostly face me. “All I’m saying is that I’m here for you. I want this to last longer than just this visit. I’m in it for the long haul, but I’m guaranteed to make mistakes. Clearly.”

I smiled slightly at his emphatic tone.

“So if you could give me some grace while I fumble my way through this, I’d appreciate it. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to disappoint you. But I want you to know that it’s never on purpose. I want to be in your life however and whenever you’ll let me.”

“Okay.” I moved my shoulders while I took in his words. It definitely had me feeling better about him—about us. And I relaxed a little.

Until he bumbled on.

“But you gotta grow a thicker skin. Let some things roll off your back. You can’t be so sensitive about a little teasing.”

I blinked. What the fuck?

And Beau blundered on. “You let one little comment get in your head, and you pouted the rest of the day.”

“Are you serious?”

“What?”

“You were the one who let one comment ruin the day. I said something about Phoebe, and you stomped away and gave me the cold shoulder the whole afternoon. You did that, not me.”

“No, no. I agreed with you about Phoebe. She’s being a real bitch lately. Or maybe always. You were the one who refused to even tell me if you’re seeing a guy or a girl. I don’t know anything about your life.”

“And whose fault is that?!” I all but shrieked. “I put my life on hold. Came out here to spend time with you, but you don’t give a shit. And then the one day I have with you, you don’t ask me a single question about myself.”

“Not true.” Beau pointed at me. “I asked about your secret relationship last night and you pushed back. I made one little comment about them today, and you jumped all over me. I was just avoiding the fight, considering we were in public, but if you want to go off on Phoebe, I’m all ears. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Oh my god. You don’t get it. That’s not the point! I wanted to spend time with you. Learn about you and who you are. Maybe brag to you about my school grades or tell you about when I was twelve and had braces and almost swallowed a bracket. But you talked more to Dianne today than you did with me.”

“I thought Disneyland would be fun,” he muttered, his shoulders slumped. “A bonding experience or whatever. I lost out on so many moments of you growing up. I just wanted to have a little taste of that for myself.”

“It was nice. I’m not saying it wasn’t. I appreciate the gesture—really—but we can’t go back. I’m an adult. I’m a whole person here and now. And it feels like you don’t care.”

“I do. I swear I do.”

“Then show it. Show up. I need some actual action and not fluff and condescension. Because that’s what it’s feeling like. I was actually starting to like you just now, and then you hit me with that ‘grow thicker skin’ crap. It’s not helpful. Find out who I am before you start in on how I need to change. Because I’m sure as hell not going to spill my guts to someone who only has criticism for me. You need to show up first. Be there for me.”

“I…I’m not sure I know how to do that.”

“I guess if you care, you’ll keep trying. I’m not saying today was all wrong and horrible or whatever. I’m just saying I don’t need all the pomp and pageantry of your fame and money. I don’t care about all that. I don’t give the first shit about Beau Benoit, Rock Star. I just want to get to know you, the man—the guy who’s supposed to be my father.”

Beau nodded slowly. “I think I can do that.”

“Okay.” I sat back in my seat with a sigh.

“Gotta say, I’m proud as hell that you’re able to stand up to me like that. You’re a strong woman. Clearly your mom did a good job.”

My stomach hollowed. I wanted to tell him to stop bringing her up all the time. It was hard as hell to bury my emotions when he kept poking at my wound.

But I also couldn’t just give him constant criticism. Especially after that little speech. Pot, meet kettle.

So instead, I just gave him a vague smile.

He stretched his long legs in front of him. “And just to double check—relationships are off limits?”

“Oh my god.” I groaned then had to laugh. I seriously appreciated the distraction from my almost jaunt into the dark place. “Fine. Just this once, you get three questions. What do you want to know?”

“Guy or girl?”

“Guy.”

“Where did you—never mind. I don’t want to waste a question there. Are they treating you right?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t be with them if they weren’t.”

“Truly your mother’s daughter,” he mumbled to himself. “And also a stupid, pointless question. Shit.”

“One left,” I teased.

“Shit. Um… Can I bank it for later because I’m coming up blank?”

I sighed. “Fine. But just the one until or unless I change the rules, and I reserve the right to change the rules at any time.”

“Damn, sounds like I should meet with my lawyers before I agree to anything.”

“That’s also your right.”

“You sure you didn’t go to law school?”

“I thought about it for a minute, but I didn’t like all the endless hours and homework.”

“You’re smart enough to do anything you want.” He gave me this smile that made me feel the kinds of things I hadn’t felt in so long. “Proud of you, kiddo. We’ll figure out this thing—me and you. I want to do better, but I might need you to help me out along the way.”

“I think I can do that.”

“Good.”

We rode along for a few minutes in silence.

Then he turned to me and asked, “You want to get dinner together or hang out with your guy instead?”

“How about we get an early dinner together, and then I’ll go see me guy? Best of both worlds.”

“Sounds like a plan, kiddo.” He settled back in his seat with a sigh. “Definitely should’ve been a lawyer. That’s straight out of Solomon’s playbook—split the baby.”

“You didn’t strike me as a religious guy. Are you? Your family?”

“Our family,” Beau corrected as he tilted his head. “I went to one too many summer vacation bible schools growing up so my Ma could get a break—mostly tagged along with the neighbors. We weren’t especially religious. Just generic Christian, I guess. What about you?”

And we visited the whole way to the restaurant and even over our meal.

It was the best experience I had with Beau to date.

And I really hoped it wouldn’t be the last.

Chapter 20

Hunter

Two hours earlier

I sat in my idling Charger on the side of Sunset Boulevard, cussing myself out. I don’t even know why I’d jumped to the crazy conclusion that something was wrong with Iz just because I couldn’t get ahold of her. To be fair, she was so responsive, although that was more down to her shitty bio dad than being eager to talk to me. Maybe my crazy relationship with Cheyenne played a part? She was the living embodiment of main character syndrome. Literally everything was a crisis to her. The number of times I’d been chewed out for not jumping when she called…

Or maybe I’d been genuinely worried about Iz because she was getting under my skin.

Honestly, I didn’t know how to feel about that.

She’d be going back to Seattle soon. But then again, I’d be out of the band soon enough, so maybe I should go with her? Go see the music scene in Seattle. Lord knew there wasn’t much here for me. I wouldn’t have a band soon and honestly, I didn’t know if I wanted anything to do with whatever James was putting together.

I just had never done serious commitment before. Most of my relationships had felt…transactional. They wanted me for my proximity to fame and excitement. Even if we hadn’t been the biggest band, we still had killer parties and occasionally were featured in the Babbler—Gabe more than the rest of us.

But Izzy didn’t want any of that with me. If anything, she wanted to protect me. She was more worried about Beau’s reaction than I was. Seriously. It wasn’t like he could kill me. And it wouldn’t be the first time I’d taken a pounding.

And Izzy was worth it.

Holy shit. I was catching feelings.

My heart raced and I panted as my brain raced to catch up with my heart.

Fuck, I’d never felt like this before.

I dropped my head back on the headrest then banged it a few times. As if I could slam some sense into it. Into me.

Nope, I was still a dumbass.

So I did the same thing any dumb ass would do if they found themselves in my situation.

I put my car into gear, merged onto Sunset, and headed for my mom’s house.

Fortunately, my dad’s truck wasn’t in the driveway when I pulled up to the curb. Maybe he had actually got a new job.

Stepping over the long weeds and pockmarked driveway, I headed for the front door. The grass was just as long and filled with dandelions as my last visit. If anything, the grass looked a little browner, like it hadn’t been watered in a while.

I knocked on the door and waited for a few minutes for her to maneuver to the front door.

Finally, the door opened to my mom’s beaming, happy face. “Hunter! I wasn’t expecting to see you today!”

And it was at that moment that I remembered who I’d run to. Ma who had always lamented my single status. Ma who wanted me to get married and start a family ten years ago. Ma who was willing to look on the bright side of my relationship with Cheyenne if it meant me starting a family.

No way in hell could I tell her about Iz. She’d be booking the church and planning our wedding before I drove away.

I forced a smile before bending down to kiss her cheek. “Hey Ma. I was, um, in the neighborhood. Practice was canceled, so I thought I’d come visit you.”

She raised her eyebrows as she reversed her wheelchair to let me in the house. “I seriously doubt you were in the neighborhood, considering we’re in the Valley, but you know you’re always welcome.”

I couldn’t help the sneer that curled my lips as I followed my mom into the living room. I wouldn’t say I’d always been welcome in their house. But that was down to my dad being an ass and had nothing to do with Ma.

“So what have you been up to? Do you need anything?”

Ma jabbered on about the neighbors’ ambulance visit in the middle of the night, sending Donna flowers, and the broken garbage disposal. I hopped up from the couch and headed over to investigate.

“You don’t have to do that, Hunter. Your father will get around to it when he has a minute. He’s so busy with this new job he just started, comes home exhausted every night…”

I flipped the switch and listened to the motor hum but not run. “Yeah, but I’m here now.” I pulled out my phone to do a quick internet search.

“But this isn’t what you’re here for.”

“I’m here to do whatever you need, Ma. So let me help.”

“Fine,” she huffed. “At least let me fix you a sandwich.”

“You know I’m not going to turn down food. Do you have an Allen wrench set?”

A few minutes later, my head was buried under the sink while I dismantled her garbage disposal.

“When you’re done making a mess, your sandwich is ready,” Ma called.

“Yup. Almost done.” I grunted as I tightened the unit back into place.

“And then maybe you can tell me why you really came. I’m guessing women troubles, but feel free to tell me I’m wrong.”

It was so fucking tempting to stay under the sink and never come out again.

So I ignored her probing question.

Popping out from under the sink, I stood up and brushed my jeans off. “Let’s see if it works.”

I ran the disposal, and it sounded normal. I ran some water down the drain, and nothing leaked. Success!

“Yes!” I crowed. “Maybe trade school is in my future.”

“So I take it things aren’t getting better with the band, huh?”

I moved a shoulder uncomfortably. Then turned on the water again to wash up. “I wouldn’t put money on me being the drummer on their next album.”

“I’m sorry, honey. That’s…well, that just sucks. Do you want a drink? I’m sure your father left something around here.”

That knot of dread in my stomach when I thought about Dad tightened. I didn’t want a drop of his fucking alcohol. “Nah, Ma. I’m good.” I reached for the hand towel to dry my hands. “Gotta drive home later.”

“No, you don’t. There’s this amazing service called Uber now. They’ll bring a car to your door and take you wherever you want to go.”

I rolled my eyes at her ridiculous teasing. “I’ve heard about it. I still don’t want anything hard to drink.”

“You are your mother’s son.” She sent me a beaming smile.

And like always, we ignored the elephant looming in the room.

I smiled back at her, sat down at the table, and then dug into the sandwich.

“So what’s her name?” Mom asked out of the blue.

And made me choke on my sandwich.

She smiled evilly. “So there is a woman. Interesting…”

“Yeah, I’m not talking about that with you.” I shoved the rest of the sandwich in my mouth.

“Judging by that face—” She circled the air in front of me. “—you’re miserable in a way that can only be described as love.”

“Is that why you’ve stayed with him all this time? Love?” The words fell out of my mouth before I thought them.

She sighed. “I know that we weren’t the best parents for you and Cory growing up. There are so many things I wish we could take back, but—”

“None of them were done by you—aside from marrying and staying with the asshole.”

“Hunter…” She sighed again.

“No, let’s talk about it. Because lord knows we never really have before.” I scoffed angrily. “He fucking drove drunk and paralyzed you in that crash. Spent four months in jail. And we never talked about it. He just came back from jail, and we all pretended like it was normal. He would push me and Cory around when we were little, and then we’d pretend the next day like it never happened. And he’s still the same fucking way. To this day! He still drinks. To this day, he’s still an asshole. I mean, it’s not a coincidence that I’m here and he’s not. Because I time my visits so I don’t have to see him. What about that is a loving relationship that taught me what to look for in a partner? What did I learn from you guys about having a healthy fucking relationship?”

“Are you saying she’s a drunk? Does she push you around?”

“Iz would never. She’s fucking amazing.”

My mom just sat there grinning back at me.

And then I realized what I’d said—what I’d admitted to.

“Dammit,” I cursed quietly.

“I am happy for you, Hunter. It sounds like you finally found an amazing woman. Hopefully one who will love you unconditionally, like I do for your father.”

“But does he deserve it? That’s the part I don’t get. How can you still love him after all the pain and bullshit he’s put you through? Put all of us through?”

“Because marriage is a sacrament. God binds two people for the rest of their life. There are no breaches or leaving because it’s not about bargaining for a benefit. A husband will fall short and so will she. Marriage adds a third string to the rope, being God, who binds them together regardless of their flaws.”

“A rope that ties you to one decision for the rest of your life? I’ll never fucking get married. Never.”

Mom sighed. “Real love isn’t easy. Experiencing hardship doesn’t mean you’ve married the wrong person. You have to put time and energy into marriage. It’s essential in building the foundation of a lasting love.”

That sounded verbatim like something Father Thomas would say. “So there’s no out? There’s nothing he can do that would be a deal breaker?”

“Do you seriously think your father doesn’t blame himself? That we haven’t talked about his drinking? Or the accident? That I just stayed with him all this time because the church told me to?”

I lifted my palms. “Why wouldn’t I think that? You two sure as hell didn’t have those conversations in front of us. And his behavior never really changed. We never once saw your sweet moments, just the horrible, painful ones.” I heaved a sigh. “He beat us, Ma. Until we cried. Until we bled. Left us with bruises you never saw. And he never apologized. We never talked about it. It only stopped because we got big enough to fight back. What about that spells love?”

Ma blinked a few times then she lifted a shaky hand and flicked a tear away. “I’m so sorry, Hunter. I never knew. He’d take you boys back into the bedroom, but I didn’t know it was that bad. I thought he was just giving you a quick spank and a talking to. I just, I don’t…” She sighed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m used to it, honestly. Avoidance is our family motto.”

“That’s not what I meant,” she snapped before wiping at her eyes again. “I’m just so ashamed of how we failed you boys. I mean, Cory moved two states away. We never see him. And you only come over when you know your dad won’t be here. It’s, it’s so fucked up.”

“Ma,” I whispered, shocked. I’d never heard her cuss.

“Clearly we’ve let you boys down in multiple ways. Not just your father. I did too. I…I think I need to be alone and think about what we talked about.”

“Sure, Ma. I should be going anyhow.” I stood up and walked to her so I could kiss her cheek. “Call me later? Just to let me know you’re okay.”

“That’s my line, sweet boy.” She reached up and patted my side since she couldn’t reach my cheek from her wheelchair. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you found a girl worthy of you. I just hope you won’t let our family’s dysfunction screw it up for the two of you.”

I laughed. “If it helps any, she has a dysfunctional family too.”

“It does, actually.” She grinned up at me. “Love you, Hunter.”

“Love you too, Ma.” I headed for the door.

“Drive safe!” she shouted at my back.

I lifted a hand and let myself out.

As I drove back to my place, I turned the conversation over in my mind again and again. I just couldn’t reconcile the picture my mom had painted of her marriage and what I’d seen with my own eyes. If Dad had taken any ownership of his problems, he wouldn’t still be drinking. He’d paralyzed his own wife because of his addiction, but that wasn’t enough to make him stop. And we never had a conversation after he’d go after me or Cory. Just silence. Which had felt a hell of a lot like acceptance.

Or at least it did to me.

I couldn’t believe she’d never known.

I was definitely in my feelings as I walked up to my apartment.

So I was surprised when I found someone knocking on my door.

“Iz?”

She spun around with a wary expression that quickly morphed into joy. “Hunter!” She leapt toward me, and I barely had enough time to brace myself before her arms and legs were wrapped around me. “I had the worst and best day ever, so I just had to end it with you. You make everything better.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as she pressed kisses all over my face and neck like an exuberant puppy. “Thanks, I guess?” I mumbled through her kisses. “And same.”

Standing in the hallway with her in my arms, all the drama and angst from my visit with Ma fell away, and I felt calmer.

And horny.

“How about you come inside and tell me all about it?” I asked as her roaming hands squeezed my ass, and I jumped.

She giggled. “As long as it ends with us naked in bed, you’ve got a deal.”

“I live alone. We can get naked anywhere you want, princess.”

We didn’t talk much. Once the door closed behind us, hands tore at clothing as we kissed. We stumbled to the couch because it was the closest horizontal surface available.

I had her under me, her shirt rucked up to display her gorgeous tits that my hungry mouth quickly found. I teased her pliant nipples, loving the gasps and moans she made.

“I think tonight I want to be on top.” Her gorgeous brown eyes sparkled up at me.

“I think tonight we can do that,” I teased. Until now, she’d always been a little bit hesitant to lead when it came to sex. I didn’t know if it was because of her lack of experience or a self-confidence issue. But I was happy as hell that she wanted to take charge now. “I’ll just be a pillow princess and lie back and think of England.”

“Forget that.” She laughed as we twisted around on the sofa until she straddled me from above. “You better be thinking of me. Of all this.”

“Always.” I reached for my jeans nearby on the carpet and groped through the pockets until I found the condoms I’d put in my wallet a few days ago—because of her. I held them aloft like a prize. “Proof that I’m always thinking of you, princess.”

“Why thank you, kind sir.” Iz beamed at me as she plucked them from my hand.

After she tore into them, she grabbed my dick, and I really did have to lie back and think of something else—anything else—so I didn’t come all over her hand like a fumbling teenager. “Christ, Iz.” I grunted as she deftly rolled it down my length. “Snare, high hats, crash, high tom, bass…”

“Are you naming kinds of drums?” She laughed incredulously as she lined up her perfect pussy with my condom clad dick.

“I’m trying not to shoot off before we’ve even started.”

She rose above me like Botticelli’s Venus, her long brown hair flowing behind her. Only instead of covering her amazing breasts with her hands, she let them fall unencumbered as she sank down on my dick.

I didn’t know where to look—her luscious breasts, my dick disappearing inside her, her luminous eyes. It was fucking everything.

I grabbed her hip as I thrust up into her from below. And her tits did a delicious wobble.

“Fuck yeah,” I grunted. “It’s official. This is my favorite position. We definitely have to do this every day.”

Iz whimpered. “You can go so deep. It’s so—ah! Oh my god.”

She braced her hands on my chest and rode me all the way to her climax. I reached up and helped her, rubbing her clit with my other hand. Her body convulsed, and I stopped thrusting up into her as her velvet walls milked my dick.

“Oh fuck.” I closed my eyes and tried to hold on.

“Hunter. Hunter!” she screamed as she went over before collapsing onto my chest.

And it didn’t take much for me to follow her. Her pussy was still quaking around me, and I thrusted into her a few times before grinding my dick deep inside her. I buried my face in her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her.

I don’t know what it was—my revelation today, the conversation with my mom, Iz’s confidence—but this all felt different. Especially after.

We cuddled for a few minutes before I finally had to pull out and take care of the condom. When I came back, I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. We stumbled into my bedroom where we collapsed into my bed and cuddled again.

She told me about her day—bonding and fighting with her dad before finally telling him how she needed him to show up for her.

“I’m proud of you, Iz. I know that wasn’t easy.”

“It wasn’t.” She smiled softly. “I want him to like me. I want him to want to get to know me, and until today, it didn’t feel like I was a priority.”

“Hopefully you’ll get the opportunity to bond now that Phoebe’s out of the picture.”

She sighed. “That’s only temporary, I’m afraid. She’ll pop up one day like Chucky and ruin everything again.”

“Yeah, but next time you’ll have Beau on your side. It sounds like he hears you and wants you here.”

“We’ll see, I guess.” She sighed and cuddled into my side. “How was your day?”

“Eh, I ended up at my mom’s house and had a similar come to Jesus moment.”

Iz tipped her head back so she could look at me. “What does that mean?”

I gave her the Cliff Notes version of my childhood and my mom’s opinion on love and marriage because of her church.

She cuddled even closer, like she was trying to heal my emotional wounds with her body.

Which, honestly, I didn’t object to. I was almost ready for round two.

“We left it in a weird place. She wanted to be alone and think about what I said. I don’t know if we’ll ever talk about it again. That’s kinda what my family does—avoid the awkward and then have no accountability.”

“But it sounds like you’ve learned from it. You don’t want to live like that.”

“Hell no. I’m more of a cards-on-the-table kinda guy. Just say what you’re feeling. Life’s short, ya know? My mom almost died because of choices he made. I still don’t understand why she stayed with him. It’s not like it changed him. But everything changed for her, and not for the best. It’s so fucked up.”

“I’m sorry, Hunter. No one should feel stuck or have to accept scraps of love.”

“She knows I’d have her back. I’d support her if she ever left him. I’ve told her as much. But she won’t. She’ll never leave him.”

“I’m so sorry. Watching someone you love choose pain is hard.” Iz sighed. “I know it’s not the same at all, but my bestie had a boyfriend in high school that I hated. I don’t know why she chose the douchebag. He was always putting her down and negging her and then laughing about it like he’d said something clever. I’m getting pissed just remembering it. The number of times I’d fantasized about punching that dick bag in the face…”

“What did you do about it?”

“Nothing. I mean, there wasn’t anything I could do. She picked him. I didn’t even tell her I hated him. I’m sure she knew. Hell, he did too. But I love her. She’s like a sister, you know? Eventually, she woke up and saw what an ass he was. No amount of boyish dimples can cover up douchebag behavior forever.”

“Yeah, unfortunately my mom doesn’t feel the same way. She told me she’s bound to him the rest of her life because of god.”

“Then I guess you have to decide if that’s a dealbreaker for you. It sucks to say, but sometimes seeing people in a toxic relationship, repeating bad choices, is too much to be around. And you might need to step away for your own peace of mind. Sounds like that’s the choice your brother made.”

“To a degree. He stepped away from me too, though. I haven’t heard from him in ages.”

“When’s the last time you called him?”

“What?”

She shrugged. “Phones work both ways, you know. I’m just saying…”

“True.”

We just sat there in silence for a few minutes. Her in my arms. Her tits pressed against my side. Honestly, it felt like heaven. I loved everything about it.

“I love that you were worried about me,” Iz murmured out of the blue.

“What the fuck?” I grumbled. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

She giggled. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I just mean…” She sighed. “It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one catching feelings here.”

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, unable to come up with a reply.

Chapter 21

Izzy

The next week flew by in a haze of awesome. I spent time with Beau just the two of us, trading war stories—my braces trauma and his life of on the road memories (that were no doubt sanitized for my ears)—and just getting to know each other.

And I was really liking who I’d discovered Beau was. He was quiet when around other people, but when he felt comfortable—or had a little to drink—he was gregarious and open, and so flipping funny. I totally got how Mom fell under his spell.

I also got to spend my evenings with Hunter, who—unlike me and Beau—wasn’t having the best week of his life. The few practices I’d sat in on had been painful. Leif was still all over his case. It was starting to frustrate the rest of the guys. There were way more arguments than before. Practice now usually ended in a screaming match and someone stomping off.

So dysfunctional.

And Hunter was barely holding it together. Blowjobs and cowgirl style sex could only do so much. My heart hurt for him. This was the biggest opportunity he’d ever had, and it was slipping through his fingers.

I really hated Leif.

So I decided to make the guys some cookies. They’d proven to be little more than hungry teen boys who loved snacks, alcohol, and pussy. My dad and my boyfriend were in a garage band, and I was making them cookies like a housewife.

Grinning to myself, I got out the flour, sugar, and baking powder. I went back in the huge pantry for the brown sugar, vanilla, baking soda, and salt. Now where were the chocolate chips? I’d asked Carmen to pick some up for me. Where would she have put them?

I spotted a familiar yellow package and pulled it down. A package of Nestle semi-sweet chocolate chunks fell into my hands.

Ah, these were my mom’s favorite. She’d sworn since they were missing the stabilizers used in the chips to hold the chip shape, chunks made for a more gooey, luxurious pool of chocolate in her cookies.

I had to swipe at the tears streaming down my face with the back of my hand. I didn’t even know I was crying.

God, I missed her.

I’d been doing so well. Keeping busy, shoving the grief deep down. This just came at me from nowhere.

Memories bombarded me. I spent so much time with her in the kitchen. Baking cookies. Making dinner. Talking about life. She had a way of listening and just making me feel heard. Whether it was a hard test or a mean girl moment, she listened without judgement and always had a funny take or joke that would make me laugh. And her advice, if requested, had always been the best.

God, I missed her so much.

The tears just kept coming.

I was never going to have that with her again.

She was gone and no amount of getting to know my sperm donor was going to fill this hole in my soul.

She was gone.

Just gone.

I wanted her back so bad. I didn’t know how I was going to do this without her.

I wanted my mom.

I don’t know how long I sat in the pantry with baking ingredients sprawled around me, crying my heart out, but the next thing I knew, someone shrieked above me.

“Oh my god! You’re still here?”

I blinked the haze of tears away and peered blearily at Phoebe standing over me. “What? Yeah. Why’d you come back?”

“Are you serious? I live here!” Her bright red lips curled into a snarl. “Don’t you have a job or something to get back home to?”

“I took a leave of absence from grad school BECAUSE MY MOM DIED!”

I might’ve screamed the last bit in her face. I wasn’t proud of my behavior.

Okay, maybe a little bit.

“Don’t think that I’m buying your poor orphan Annie act. I’m onto you, little girl.”

“Uh, what act? My mom died. I couldn’t fake that even if I wanted to. And I never knew about Beau.”

“Somehow you magically come sniffing around Beau right when we’re getting ready to start our own family? And suddenly he wants to put the brakes on our baby?”

“Whoa.” I lifted my full hands and backed away from her. Between the unhinged look in her eyes and the spittle flying, I needed to get the hell away from her before she unleashed her claws. “That sounds more like a question for him.”

“But you’re the reason. We went from being happy and trying for a baby to arguing all the time and never having sex.” She stepped toward me, making me back into the kitchen. “I know you know that he changed his will. Now he’s leaving everything to you, and I have nothing! My child will have nothing!”

“You’re pregnant?” I whispered. I didn’t want to think about the will part. I had no idea, and I didn’t know what to do with the knowledge.

“I should be. We’d been trying for months. And now, nothing. We spend too much time arguing. And I want a baby who will love me back.”

Pretty sure that wasn’t how babies worked, but now didn’t feel like the time to explain it to her. “Again, that sounds like something you should bring up with Beau.”

“But I can’t because every time we’re together, we end up arguing. Usually about you.”

Was this where I was supposed to apologize for existing? “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“What I want is for you to go home! Go back to wherever you came from! I DON’T WANT YOU HERE!”

Her shrieked pierced that spot in my eardrum and made me cringe. She was seriously unhinged.

“Phoebe!” Beau barked from the hallway. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

She spun around before marching over to him. “Me? I’m the one in the wrong?” Hair and hands flying, she gestured aggressively. “I’m not the one who brought a stray home. I’m not the one who stopped fucking his wife. I’m not the one who changed his will and is shoving their spouse out of every decision. I didn’t do anything!”

“You’re doing a fantastic job of being a bitch right now. What the fuck is your problem here? Yes, I added my daughter to my will. I want her to be taken care of if anything happens to me. I also want to get to know her, which is why I invited her to spend the rest of her leave here with me. And I’m hoping to convince her to transfer to UCLA. So get used to having her around.”

She shrieked like a cartoon villain then grabbed her hair in her fists. “Why are you doing this to us? What did I do? Why don’t you love me anymore?”

Her sobs echoed through the kitchen, and she fell to her knees in a pitiful display.

But then I was pretty sure that was the point.

Beau ran over to her and was all solicitous and gentle as he put his arm around her and pulled her to her feet. Then he lifted her in his arms and carried her down the hall.

Her sobs still echoed through the house, long after they disappeared from sight.

“Wow.”

I looked up and found Ryker standing where Beau had been.

“That was…something.” He shook his head.

“Yeah, welcome to life with Phoebe.” I scoffed. “I’m thinking of starting a support group.”

“I guess it’s my duty to inform you that you’re late to the party there. But we will welcome you into our group.” He tipped his head and a curl of black hair fell over his forehead in a boyish way that belied the lines around his eyes.

It would’ve been charming, but for the fact I was already half in love with his new drummer. So I shrugged. “That makes sense, I guess. You guys have had more time with her than me.”

“Eh, our exposure has been limited more to parties and short bursts. We’ve never had the misfortune of living with the batty bitch.”

I barked with laughter. “I got to say, it’s the one flaw I’ve found in Beau so far. His taste in women is…yeah.”

“Well, I’d say you haven’t spent enough time with him, if you’ve only found one flaw. My dude is brimming with them.”

I laughed again.

“How about I treat you to lunch—get you out of the line of fire—and tell you all about your dad?”

My eyes flicked to Hunter, who was hovering behind Ryker, concern clearly etched in his expression. “How about we invite the rest of the guys too? I’d love to hear Beau stories from all of your points of view. I have a feeling I’ve been getting the Disney version of Rock Star Beau Benoit.”

Mal’s long-legged stride ate up the hall until he stopped at Ryker’s side. “Ain’t nothing Disney rated about life on the road. And I, for one, would love to give Beau shit by telling you the truth. I’m in. Let me call Saylor and see if she’s available for lunch.”

“Whoa.” I waved a hand. “Let’s be clear. I don’t want to hear anything that’ll scar me for life. Funny and embarrassing stories only. Please.”

Ryker tipped his chin at me. “I’ve got plenty of those.”

“I wish I could hang out with you all.” Leif said as he stopped on Ryker’s other side. “But I’ve got a meeting with my lawyers that I can’t miss. Raincheck?”

I nodded glumly as my eyes flicked to Hunter. That didn’t sound good. Lawyers? Because he was setting up his solo contracts?

Judging by the look on everyone else’s faces—including Hunter—they’d all come to the same conclusion.

“What about you, kid?” Ryker called out as Leif headed out. “You up for some lunch?”

Hunter gave me a half smile. “I could eat.”

Ryker nodded. “Good. I know the perfect diner we could hit where we won’t be bothered.”

“It helps that Asshole took off,” Mal grumbled as his thumbs flew over his phone’s screen. “Saylor’s in. What’s the address?”

And that was how I found myself having lunch in a downtown diner with three rock stars and my LA bestie.

Ryker and Mal were full of stories of Beau as a teenager and on the road. I don’t remember ever laughing so hard. And judging by Saylor’s wide eyes, she hadn’t experienced any of it with Mal yet.

Of course amidst it all, I didn’t miss how Hunter looked so down or how Ryker’s eyes lingered on our waitress, Nova. But I just pursed my lips and didn’t say anything. Ryker wasn’t the only one at the table hiding a relationship.

Long after the food was gone and we were on our third round of drinks—iced tea for the guys and sodas for me and Saylor, the guys jockeyed to pay the tab first like it was some kind of contest. Ryker won, but only because I suspected he had a special in with our waitress.

As he signed the bill with a flourish, he smirked at Mal. “It gives me a special little tingle to be the one to provide for your wife. Now she knows what a real man looks like.”

“Fucker.” Mal laughed as he flicked his straw wrapper at Ryker.

Saylor just rolled her eyes and turned to me. “So things are going better with Beau?”

I groaned. “Until today. The Wicked Witch is home now and threw the biggest fit. Which he fell for. Again. She doesn’t want me here because apparently I’m breaking up their marriage—which, ew. I now know way more about their bedroom activities than I ever wanted to.” I paused and nodded at Saylor’s shocked expression. “Yeah, it was a whole thing. But apparently she’s freaking out because one, he added me to his will, and two, they stopped trying for a baby once he found out about me.”

“So essentially her whole problem is the fact that you even exist?” Saylor’s eyebrows went up. “That’s fucked up.”

“I mean, I didn’t ask for any of that. I avoid the topic of Phoebe if I can help it. She’s made it clear she doesn’t like me, and honestly, same. And not to be rude, but I don’t need Beau’s money. Mom left me…” I had to stop and take a breath as grief punched me in the stomach again. It was so fresh and close to the surface after my breakdown earlier. I had to clear my throat before I could continue. “Between her life insurance and what she left me with, I’ll have more than enough to take care of school and just, everything. If I were to sell the house in Seattle, I probably wouldn’t even need to work again.”

“That’s not why Beau added you to his will,” Ryker interjected, piercing the bubble between Saylor and me and reminding me that we weren’t alone here.

I looked around the table and found everyone’s eyes on us. Tears welled in my eyes, but I couldn’t really articulate why.

Mal gave me a sad smile. “He’s just trying to do right by you. I know it eats him up that he missed your whole life so far.”

“It’s not about the money.” Ryker paused and shook his head. “I mean, sure it is a little bit. But it’s also about acceptance. He’s saying that you’re his and deserve everything that comes with being his kid. And he meant that part about convincing you to move here.”

“Yeah.” Mal leaned forward with a magnetic smile that instantly made me relax a little. “We talked about it last week. He was just waiting for the right moment to talk to you about it. He wants you here, Izzy. He wants you in his life.”

“He has a piss poor way of showing it,” Hunter grumbled.

I gave him a nod. “What he said. Beau acts one way when it’s just me and him, but the second Phoebe shows up, he drops everything to dry her crocodile tears. She was screaming at me. I honestly think she would’ve hit me but for Beau showing up when he did. And then he just swooped down and carried her away.”

“To be fair, he did defend you,” Ryker pointed out.

I scoffed. “That doesn’t mean anything when he walked away with her in his arms afterwards. He clearly took her side—again. And we’ve been here—what? Two hours? Three?—and I haven’t heard a single word from him. He hasn’t called. He hasn’t texted. He hasn’t checked in to see if I’m okay. It’s hard to believe that he really cares about me when he keeps falling for her shit and leaving me literally crying in the pantry like freaking Cinderella or something.”

I sighed and pushed my empty glass away.

“Have you told Beau any of this?” Mal asked, his eyes studiously pointed at an empty part of the diner.

“I didn’t think I needed to.”

It was pretty obvious.

Wasn’t it?

“Not to speak on behalf of my entire gender, but men are pretty fucking clueless.”

I jerked my head back. As my gaze bounced around the table, I found everyone silently agreeing with Mal’s point.

Even Saylor.

She tipped her head. “If you only knew how much of our drama that could’ve been solved with some honest conversation back when we got together…” She sighed. “But it’s hard. I know it’s hard to talk about messy stuff.”

Mal traded a secretive smile with Saylor before turning to me with a shrug. “But he won’t change unless he knows what he’s doing wrong. And you’ll get there a hell of a lot faster if you just talk about it.”

“When did you get to be so grown up and responsible?” Ryker frowned at his bandmate.

“Around the time he met me.” Saylor beamed.

“Maybe a few hours later.” Mal pursed his lips. “I did assume you were flirting with me and tried to proposition you on an airplane when we first met.”

We all burst into laughter. Clearly Ryker and Hunter hadn’t heard that story before.

“Holy shit!” Ryker chortled. “And she turned you down?”

Mal just shrugged. “The first time. But I wore her down eventually.”

“Whoa.” Saylor waved a hand. “Only because he showed me what a caring, thoughtful guy he really was. And for the record, it was way later.”

Mal snorted. “Less than a week.”

Saylor glared at him, a threat of reprisal clear in her eyes. But Mal just looked back at her.

“All right. I need to go check on my Mom.” Ryker tapped on the tabletop. “Do you need a ride home, Izzy?”

“I’ll take her,” Hunter blurted out before I could even open my mouth.

Everyone jumped at the force of his words. After a beat, the guys exchanged dubious looks.

I winced. That wasn’t obvious at all.

“Just…you’re busy with your mom, and it’s out of Mal’s way and all…” Hunter’s voice trailed off.

“Sure, kid. That works for me.” Ryker pushed away from the table. “See you all tomorrow?”

“Yup.” Mal stood up and came around the table to help Saylor.

“Yeah.” Hunter avoided my eyes as we all headed to the door in a pack.

Saylor gave me a hug as the guys jockeyed for the door. “You gotta fill me in later on that.”

I chose to believe she meant about my conversation with Beau and nodded. But judging by her bugged out eyes, it probably wasn’t.

Hunter and I were careful with our body language as we all walked to the cars. We didn’t touch. We didn’t sway toward each other. Even though that was all I wanted at the moment. Just feeling his arms around me would help heal so much that was hurting right now.

An awkward silence reigned as he got into his Charger and pulled away from the diner.

“So what are you going to do?” Hunter finally asked as we idled at a red light.

I sighed. “I don’t know.”

“I’m not ready for you to leave.”

I couldn’t bear to look at him. Everything felt so heavy and just impossible. My relationship with Beau. The secret Hunter and I were keeping. Staying or going—there wasn’t an easy answer. If I stayed, I’d have to have the hard conversation with Beau. And I was afraid of how that would go. At the end of the day, I didn’t see him picking me, which after losing my mom, might just break me. But if I left, I’d be breaking Hunter’s heart—and my own.

“Maybe after the vote goes down, I could go with you.” He winced. “That came out wrong. I just mean, maybe I could visit or something? Help you out since I’ll have a helluva lot of time on my hands.”

I moved my hand over the center console until it nudged his pinkie. “I’d like that.”

He linked his pinkie with mine and gave me a smile that made my heart skip a beat. And a lot of tension leached out of my body.

Because even if Beau broke my heart, it wouldn’t touch the part that Hunter already owned.

Chapter 22

Hunter

“No, no, no!” Leif shouted. “You’re too fucking slow coming into the bridge, and it’s throwing everyone off. Start again from the chorus.”

“Fuck you!” I threw my drumsticks across the room, making Ryker jump and narrowly missing Leif’s torso. “You fucking do it!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Leif flung the sheet music he’d been holding at me, but it fluttered harmlessly to the floor.

“Me?” I roared, spittle flying. “I’m the fucking problem here? Are you serious?”

“Whoa.” Beau prowled between us, pushing his palm against my heaving chest.

I didn’t even know I’d moved across the room toward Leif.

But I was fucking hot. Because once again, he’d spent the whole practice telling me how I didn’t measure up.

“I’m not Gio. I can’t play like him every fucking song. And definitely not on songs he never even played. You get that I’m not him, right? I’m a whole ’nother person.”

“What the fuck?” Leif looked at the other guys like I was the problem here.

“Fuck it. Just vote already.” I stepped away from Beau’s hand and headed back to my drumkit. “I know I still have a week or whatever, but I’m over it. He’s never going to change his mind about me. We all know how it’s going to go. Just vote me out so I put this fucking nightmare behind me.”

“Nightmare?” Leif scoffed. “Are you talking about me?”

“Who else? I get along with the other guys. They don’t have a problem with how I play—I’ve even hung out with the rest of the guys—but you have no end of issues with me. If I’m not too fast, then I’m too slow. Or too loud. And let’s not forget the time I was sitting too low. You’re the fucking Goldilocks of backseat drummers. I’m over it. Just vote me out already so you can go on to your solo career you have all lined up. The rest of us have lives to piece together.”

Ryker winced.

Leif stared me down, but I wasn’t going to be cowed. He was an asshole, and it was long past time he knew that we knew what he was up to.

His right eyebrow twitched. “Fine. Let’s vote. All in favor of Hunter becoming a permanent member of the Licks?”

Ryker’s hand immediately went up. Mal shrugged and raised his hand. They both turned to look at Beau.

Beau shook his head and took a step back from Leif. My heart dropped into my stomach. Shit, did he know about me and Iz?

Finally, he sighed heavily and raised his right hand.

We all turned to Leif, and I cocked my head in challenge. He wasn’t going to vote for me.

We all knew he wasn’t going to.

His hand went into the air.

“Wait. What?” I sank onto my stool in disbelief. That wasn’t supposed to happen. “What about your solo deal?”

“What solo deal? The one I had before Gio died? The one I’ve been spending the past two months working with my lawyers to unravel? That solo deal?”

Ryker winced and used his raised hand to rub the back of his neck. “Uh, we thought you were spending so much time with your lawyers because you were leaving again.”

“And you’ve been so hard on the kid here.” Mal hitched a thumb in my direction. “I don’t think you’ve said one positive thing to him the whole month we’ve been playing together.”

“Because I know he can do better. Because he’s the best fucking drummer I’ve ever played with.”

My whole body froze at Leif’s words. “Better than Gio?”

Leif lifted a shoulder but didn’t actually say the words.

“I told you that you didn’t have anything to worry about, kid. Leif wouldn’t do you—or us—like that,” Beau rumbled. “You guys look for drama in every fucking corner.”

“Says the guy married to Phoebe Foster Benoit,” Ryker chortled.

“You best keep my wife’s name out of your mouth!” Beau roared.

Mal sighed and waded in between them. “Did none of you learn from the whole shitshow a few months ago? We don’t talk shit about each other’s wives.”

“Not even when it’s true?” Ryker asked in a faux innocent voice.

“Motherfucker!” Beau roared just before he punched Ryker in the face.

Leif and I joined the scrum, pulling Beau off a much shorter Ryker.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Mal shouted at a sprawled Ryker as the three of us held a panting Beau back.

“This fucker knows. We all know!” Ryker gestured wildly before pushing himself up. “He’s treating Izzy like shit because he wants to fuck his bat shit crazy wife. He left his daughter crying in the pantry yesterday and walked away with Phoebe like she didn’t even fucking matter. Did you even hear the shit your wife screamed at her? Do you even care?”

Beau looked down, his shameful expression silently answering the accusation.

Ryker shook his head. “The rest of us spent the day cheering her up because you left her. Again. You chose your toxic wife over your flesh and blood again.”

I was so proud of Ryker for saying what we were all thinking.

I’d’ve liked to be the one to stand up for Izzy, but I was afraid I would slip up and out us. And honestly, Beau scared the shit out of me. Even a dumb fucker like me could do the math—six-four crossed with five-eleven equaled an ass kicking for me.

“I get that we don’t talk shit about each other’s wives because we respect each other. But I’ve lost respect for you, brother.” Ryker shook his head. “That girl deserves a hell of a lot better than what she’s getting from you. She lost her mom—her entire world—and where the fuck are you?”

Beau opened his mouth then paused, shook his head, and stomped away.

Leaving the rest of us standing awkwardly in strained silence.

“Shit.” Ryker spun around. His shoulders heaved with his sigh. “I’m sorry, guys. I know we promised not to talk shit about each other’s partners or whatever. I definitely could’ve handled that better.”

Mal shrugged. “I dunno. I mean you’re right. We’ve all thought it about her, and what’s going on with Izzy is fucked up.”

“It deserved to be said,” Leif agreed.

I nodded. “I’m just glad you were able to say it before he beat the shit out of you.”

The guys laughed like I said something funny.

Mal shrugged. “Beau is all bluster. He’s got that whole gentle giant thing going for him.”

I looked at Ryker’s red cheekbone. No doubt he’d have a killer black eye tomorrow. “Riiiiight.”

“Let’s pack it up for the day.” Ryker probed his swollen face. “I don’t think Beau’s coming back any time soon.”

The rest of the guys murmured their agreement, and I headed for my drumkit to grab the new sheet music.

I had shit to work on.

Because I was the newest member of the Long Licks!

It took everything inside me to keep cool and not act like I was thrilled as fuck.

Because I was. I wanted to grin like a fool, shout the news to the heavens, and then go find Iz and celebrate the news horizontally. Fuck all the joy and nerves and angst away.

I wanted to celebrate!

“Hey, kid.”

I jumped as Leif suddenly appeared at my side.

“I’m sorry that I was extra critical about you this last month. It’s no excuse, but I’ve been stressed about shit with the lawyers. It’s not a small thing I’m unwinding here. And I’ve pissed more than a few people off—including our label, which, you know, we have one more album due to them. I just wanted to have everything perfect. Have us meld together before we went to them with our next album.”

“I can appreciate that.” I nodded slowly. “But for future reference, I need some positive mixed in with the negative, unless you want me hulking out like Beau just did. I don’t need to be patted on the head, but give me something before you rip me to shreds.”

Leif laughed. “That I can do. And I wasn’t blowing smoke up your ass before. You are the best drummer I’ve ever played with.”

“Thanks, man. That means a lot.”

“Gio was great, but he was erratic—even before the drugs came onto the scene.” He shook his head. “But you have that single-minded drive that’ll take us so much further. It’s probably why I’ve been so hard on you. I can tell that you’re someone who’s motivated by anger. And I kinda, sorta, maybe was feeding into it.”

“Fucker.” But I had to laugh. I couldn’t be angry right now. I was a Lick! My fucking childhood dream was coming true.

“So to make it up to you, I uh, I want to throw a party to officially welcome you to the fold. Eight o’clock Friday at my place. You can invite anyone you want, and I’ll have my assistant invite some important people in the industry. Maybe we’ll play a few songs and show everyone why we chose you.”

“I, yeah, sounds good.” It felt so fucking surreal. Leif Eccles was throwing me a party? Me?

Shit, no one wake me up because this dream was awesome.

When I got to my car, I had to call my girl.

“Hey, you busy? Because I want to celebrate the best fucking news ever.”

“Does this have something to do with the way Beau just stomped out of here? Because he didn’t look very happy.”

I winced. Oh right. Shit. “Uh, no it doesn’t. That was its own separate drama, but I can fill you in on it too.”

“Meet you at the corner?”

I wanted to tell her fuck it and we’d just leave together. I mean, I got voted in. I was a Lick! But a large part of me was still nervous about Beau’s reaction. Especially given how volatile he’d already been today.

I didn’t want to be the final annoyance that pushed him over the edge.

“I’ll be waiting.”

In hindsight, we should’ve picked a different place—somewhere further away that the guys wouldn’t have driven past.

But then I wasn’t exactly thinking.

I pulled up, put it in park, and waited in front of my car with my hip on my bumper.

When Izzy finally came around the corner, I couldn’t wait.

I ran toward her, grabbed her around the waist and spun us in a huge circle. “I’m a Lick! The guys voted me in!”

“What?” Izzy shrieked. “Seriously?”

“Yes!”

“Hell yeah!” Izzy crowed just before I took her lips in a crushing kiss.

I was so fucking happy. For once in my life, it felt like everything was sliding into place. I had the band and the girl. Life was damn near perfect.

I kissed her on the corner as cars whizzed past us. And Iz kissed me back with the same amount of passion.

Finally, I broke our kiss with a groan. “Want to take this party back to my place?”

“Obviously,” she answered sassily, and I laughed in reply.

I felt damn near giddy the whole drive over and as we climbed the stairs to my apartment.

Iz seemed to feel the same since the second the door closed behind us, she pounced on me, ripping at my zipper and dropping to her knees in front of me.

“Whoa. Princess, you don’t have to—” I had to break off as she’d deftly opened my zipper and was already gripping my dick in her hand. That had to be some kind of record.

“If ever there was a time a guy deserved a blowjob, this has to be it. Now let me do my thing.” She milked my dick with her hand, and I had to bite back my unmanly whimper.

“Fine, but could we at least move this party to the couch so I don’t crack my head open when I come? And it’ll give your knees some relief.”

“Fine,” she echoed with a sigh. “But you’re taking all the spontaneity out of it.”

I laughed as I pulled her up to stand next to me. Then I led the way to the sofa with my erection bobbing in front of us. Judging by the way Iz licked her lips, I didn’t look nearly as ridiculous as I thought.

When we reached the couch, I pulled my pants down to my ankles, leaned back against the cushions and let Iz do whatever the fuck she wanted.

And she clearly wanted me.

Iz attacked my dick with a ravenous zeal I’d never seen outside of pornos. She licked and sucked and milked me with her hands until I begged her to finish me.

“Fuck, that’s so good. I’m close, Iz. So close. You ready?”

She didn’t even murmur a word. If anything, she redoubled her efforts. Sucking harder. Gripping me tighter. Then she did this humming thing in the back of her throat, and I lost it.

I roared as I came. My jizz shooting into her mouth. I tried not to grip her hair too tight. Then finally, I collapsed on the cushions in a boneless heap.

I patted her head lazily. “That was amazing, princess.”

She curled up against my side and flicked the corner of her mouth with a thumb.

“Wait. Did you swallow it all?”

“Kinda had to.” She shrugged. “I was fighting for my life there at the end. You came like a freaking firehose.”

I barked a quick laugh. “Shit, baby. You really have a way with words.”

“Just showing my man how proud of him I am. You’re in! I’m so freaking happy for you.”

I beamed down at her. But then it hit me a second later—what happened after the vote. The scene with Ryker and Beau.

I had to tell her.

“Uh, you hungry?” I asked weakly, desperate to put off the inevitable.

“Is that a joke?” She reared back to give me an incredulous look.

I thought for a second then winced. “Shit. No. Sorry. I just…have something to tell you, and I’m putting it off like a pansy.”

“Oh.” Iz sat up and put some distance between us.

I felt the loss immediately.

She leaned back against the opposite corner of the couch with her knees drawn up and her arms crossed over them like she was bracing for the worst.

Wait, she didn’t think I’d let her blow me and then break up with her?

“Yeah, that’s not going to work for me. Get over here.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me. “I want to hold you when I tell you what happened.”

She relaxed into my side at first, no doubt relieved the news wasn’t that bad, but then grew more and more rigid as I relayed today’s drama—Ryker calling Beau out and their fight we’d had to break up.

“So that’s why he left? Because someone finally called him out on his bullshit? Christ.”

“Pretty much.”

We sat in silence for a moment.

“I think it’s safe to say he’s not going to react well to the news of you and me.”

“You are breaking up with me.” She pushed out of my arms and flailed as she tried to get off the couch.

“Whoa. That’s not what I’m saying.” I jumped off the couch and gestured helplessly. “I’m just saying that maybe we should put the brakes on telling everyone. Give me some more time to meld with the guys before I make waves. Shit did not go down gentle today.”

Iz shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I have to go back to Seattle anyways. This was never gonna last long.”

“BUT IT SHOULD!” I yelled. Iz flinched, and I tried for a gentler tone. “It should because I’m fucking falling in love with you.

Her eyes grew large. Then she shook her head frantically. “No. You don’t. You can’t.”

“Of course I do. How could I not?” I took a couple cautious steps toward her. “I love you, Izzy. I love your stubbornness. I love your thoughtfulness. I love how sweet you are. I love your mind and how quick you are to put me in my place. You don’t give up an inch you don’t have to. I love you, Iz.”

Her face crumpled, and she covered her face with her hands. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. You, we, it wasn’t supposed—”

Her sobs made it hard to understand her.

I closed the distance between us and put my arms around her, pulling her to my chest. “Hey, hey, this is a good thing, right?”

She kept on crying.

“And you know, it’s okay if you don’t love me back yet. I love you more than enough for the both of us.”

She gave a tearful laugh. Finally, she pushed away from my chest slightly and swiped at her wet eyes. “Of course I love you. I mean, I wasn’t supposed to. I wasn’t trying to. But you snuck up on me like a freaking ninja and got under my defenses.”

“A love ninja? I kinda like the sound of that. Makes me sound badass.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes at me. Her arms tightened around me as she laid her cheek against my chest again. “What are we going to do? I live in Seattle, and you’re a freaking rock star. You’re going to go on tour soon. And Beau will freak the fuck out when he finds out about us.”

I sighed and rested my cheek on top of her head as I held her tight. “Let’s take it one step at a time. You’ve got leave from your program, right? So we don’t have to make any decisions on that front just yet.”

“Right,” she answered softly.

“And we’re months from touring. We’ve got to record an album first. And we still need the label’s approval before we get into the studio.”

“Okay.” A shuddering sigh left her.

“And as for Beau…we’ll talk to him together. When the time is right.”

“I do like the sound of that.”

“I do too.” I held her even tighter. “Together.”

Chapter 23

Izzy

The next morning, I snuck back home—Beau’s home—in an Uber, despite Hunter’s grumpy protests.

Given Beau’s volatility, even having Hunter drop me off at the corner was a chance I didn’t want to take at the moment.

Which was probably good, given that he was waiting for me when I stepped inside.

“Where were you?” His expression was almost blank. I couldn’t tell if it was because he was just pissy in general or if he was trying not to scare me.

“Are you serious? I’m an adult. I don’t answer to you.”

“You’re a guest in my house. The least you could do was return my texts asking if you were okay.”

“’The least I could do?’” I mocked. “That’s funny because I’m well acquainted with the least you’re capable of on a regular basis.”

He looked away.

“For your information I was with my special new friend—the one we talked about before.”

“Is this friend Ryker?”

“What? No.” I laughed. I couldn’t help it. But seriously?

Beau stared at me like he was doubting my sincerity.

I laughed harder. “God, that’s priceless.” I sobered and cocked my head as I stared him down. “Because that’s the only explanation for him standing up for me, right? I must be fucking him. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the way you’ve treated me. The way she’s treated me.”

He sighed. “I know things haven’t gone the way either one of us thought it would—”

“You got that right,” I muttered, thinking of Hunter and my feelings for him.

“But I know I owe you an apology. I haven’t balanced my relationships with the two of you well.”

“Two, wha—”

Phoebe swanned into the room and took her place at Beau’s side. She put a hand on his chest and blinked up at him in a way that turned my stomach. She looked all innocent and sweet and nothing like the demon who’d turned on me in the pantry yesterday. “I forgive you, babe. We’ll work on our relationship together. Because we love each other so much.”

I wanted to pantomime puking like a little kid, but it wouldn’t help my case any. “Yeah well, I don’t forgive you.”

They both turned to me with matching frowns.

I had to laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me? Saying you owe me an apology isn’t the same as giving me an apology. They usually involve an account of what you did wrong, followed by the words ‘I’m sorry,’ and a promise not to do the thing you’re apologizing for again.”

Beau winced. “I am sorry, kiddo. I know I made a lot of big promises.”

Phoebe scowled.

“And I’ve done a shit job of showing up for you. I’m a selfish prick. I’ve been a rock star for so long I’m used to having anything I want at a snap of the fingers.”

“Well, I’ve said I don’t give a shit about Rock Star Beau Benoit. I wanted to get to know regular guy Beau. The one my mom met and fell in love with before he broke her heart.”

Beau winced.

“But then maybe that’s all you’re good at—breaking hearts. Because you’ve done a hell of a job on mine.”

He pulled away from Phoebe’s talon grip. “But I don’t want to. That’s what I’m trying to say here. It’s what I’ve tried to show you this last week. I am just a guy. A guy who likes stupid comedies, mafia movies, Disneyland, and boxing. And a guy who wants to be in his daughter’s life. A daughter who also likes stupid comedies but prefers rom coms and yoga. Which is only the tip of the iceberg of the amazing woman you’ve become.” He took a step closer to me. “An amazing woman who hopefully I haven’t screwed everything up with.”

My breath hitched, but I’d be damned if I cried another tear over him. “I don’t know if I can trust you again. You’ve shown me time and again that you’ll take her side. She said some high-key foul stuff to me yesterday—stuff she hasn’t apologized for by the way—and you just left with her.”

“Phoebe and I talked about that last night, and she has something to say to you…” He turned and cocked his head when she didn’t speak up.

Phoebe slow blinked for a moment then sighed deeply. “I’m sorry for what I said yesterday, Isabella. What’s going on between your father and me has nothing to do with you. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you.”

It was all delivered in a flat tone, lacking any and all believability.

Beau smiled at his wife before turning to me with a wide grin. “We’re all sorry and promise to do better. So what do you say, kiddo? Forgive us?” He held his arms out to me.

Phoebe was glaring at me from over his shoulder.

I barely resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her as I stepped into Beau’s arms.

Because despite my doubts about her, he’d made up some ground in my estimation of him this last week. And it was only a matter of time before he finally woke up to her true colors. Fakeness could only last so long before it became grating.

Her time was coming.

Stepping back, I looked up at Beau. “Have you made up with the guys yet? I, um, heard about the vote and what happened after.”

Beau’s eyes narrowed on mine like he was still doubting my sincerity about Ryker. After a beat, he sighed. “Not yet. I know I owe Ryker an apology.”

“Hey, you’re getting better at them. And it’d probably go better the second time around if you sweeten the pot—maybe bring him his favorite drink?”

“Which would be…what?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Doesn’t he usually have ranch water after practice?”

Beau’s eyes narrowed.

I had to laugh. “I swear, I don’t really know him. I’ve spent more time with Mal and Saylor to be honest.”

“Babe,” Phoebe called. “I’ve got to get going. I have that thing down in Malibu soon.”

“Sounds good. We’ll see you later.” Beau crossed over to give her a peck on the cheek before holding a hand out to me. “How about we head over to the Getty after practice today, kiddo? Have you been yet?”

“Wait! You’re not going to Malibu with me?” Phoebe whined, her arms flopping against her sides.

“No.” Beau paused, but when she kept pouting at him, he sighed and shook his head. “We talked about this last night, remember? The band is practicing every day this week. And after practice, I’m spending time with my daughter. You’ve got me for dinner and all evening. Izzy has a secret boy-toy she’d rather spend her nights with anyways.”

I pursed my lips but purposefully didn’t say anything. I wanted to see how this played out. If Beau would really stand his ground.

“So I only get your scraps? After you’re all stressed out over practice and Leif’s bullshit and LA traffic with her, you’re never going to want to go out with me. That’s not fair!”

But Beau just shrugged. “You’re right. I’m not going to want to go out every night for dinner. But Izzy and I won’t be doing a big adventure thing every day, either. Some days we’ll probably just hang out here and watch tv or a movie or whatever. But you are going to have to share time with me while she’s here. Hopefully we’ll be able to convince her to move to LA to do her master’s, and everything will feel less urgent. But until then, we’ll just have to figure it out as we go.”

Phoebe’s jaw flexed, but she finally gave Beau a tight nod of agreement.

What the hell just happened? Did Beau seriously prioritize me over the step-monster?

“Have you had breakfast yet?”

I had to blink a few times to process everything that’d just happened. Then I shook my head silently.

“How about I cook us all some omelets and toast? What do you like in yours, Izzy?”

“Any kind of breakfast meat you have. And bell peppers maybe?”

“Three Denver omelets coming up!”

“None for me, babe,” Phoebe called as Beau pulled me toward the kitchen. “I’m going to head to Malibu early. Meet the photographer and go over—”

“Sounds good, Fee!” Beau hollered, not even pausing his stride. “See ya!”

But I felt the heat of her glare the whole way to the kitchen. I didn’t even need to look.

* * *

Never did I ever think I’d be standing in Leif Eccles’ mansion. How was this real life?

And unlike the sleek, modern mansions dotting the landscape, Leif’s home was a dark and moody Spanish style with vaulted wood-beamed ceilings and plaster walls. Electric candles were everywhere, casting shadows on the walls and giving it all a haunting romantic vibe. Totally in line for a vampire dude like Leif.

“This is insane, right?” Saylor giggled at my side.

The second we’d entered, she’d glommed onto me, and I was so freaking thankful. The car ride over had been filled with strained silence broken only by the radio. I knew without asking that Beau and the step-monster had been arguing again. Their bickering had culminated in Phoebe screaming, ‘You don’t love me anymore!’

It was hella awkward. I’d waited a few beats, and when I hadn’t heard anything else, I slowly entered the room—where they were both standing, facing each other and not saying a word.

I was so happy when Saylor took me to her side. The guys were busy working the room, talking to industry peeps, and Phoebe kept giving me hostile glares from the other side of the room.

“Do you think he has a coffin in his room?” I whispered.

“I could easily picture a whole nest of vampires living here.”

I shuddered. I’d watched too many episodes of Supernatural to find that thought appealing. “He does have that whole Lestat vibe going for him. I never would’ve guessed he’d lean so hard into it though.”

“If I’ve learned anything since I moved to LA with Mal, it’s that rich people have eccentric and basic tastes all at the same time.”

We giggled together, and I felt so light and just happy. Which was a welcome switch from the grumpy car ride. I loved Saylor. I could easily see her becoming a best friend if I ever did the thing literally everyone thought I should—move to LA.

Well, everyone except Alexis and Phoebe.

Given the way Phoebe was glaring at me, I was happy Leif had gone with the electric candles and not the real one. She would’ve lit me up without a care and called it ‘an accident.’

“Who’s the blonde standing with Phoebe?” I whispered to Saylor as we bent over the buffet table to load our plates. A safe place to gossip about her since Phoebe had never eaten as long as I’d known her.

Saylor darted a quick look then grabbed a wagyu slider. “I don’t know. She was at Phoebe’s party last month, but she came in with Hunter. She hung all over him, and then slithered up to Phoebe’s side. I haven’t seen her since that night.”

“She was with Hunter.” That was why she looked familiar.

She was my literal opposite. Why the hell had Hunter gone from her to me?

Was it the danger? The forbidden naughty secret aspect?

Doubts crowded in, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“Iz? You okay?” Saylor asked, jerking me back into the present.

I smiled wanly at her. “Yeah, sorry. It’s been a day, you know? Way too much drama.”

“I hear that. I try to avoid any and all drama at all costs. But apparently that’s a pipe dream tonight. Buckle up.”

“What?” I whispered back before noticing her attention zeroed in over my shoulder.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised to find you here of all places,” Phoebe drawled behind me.

“Really?” I spun around to face her. “Why? I mean, we came in the same car. You remember that part, right?” I spoke slowly like she might have a hard time following me.

Phoebe huffed and rolled her eyes.

“No, she’s talking about the buffet.” Hunter’s blonde piped up from Phoebe’s side. “Figures we’d find you stuffing your face.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Saylor snarled behind me.

“I’m saying she’s a fat bitch who could afford to lose a few pounds,” Blondie all but shouted.

“Oh. Fuck all the way off with that bullshit.” Saylor shoved past me to wave a hand in Blondie’s face. “We don’t do that mean girl shit here. So get the hell away from me and my gorgeous friend. You wish you had tits like hers.”

A warm glow enveloped my heart. Saylor was awesome.

And so were my tits.

“You mean udders,” Blondie snarked back.

“Whoa.” Bolstered by Saylor’s support, I confronted my bullies. “What the hell did I ever do to you? I don’t even know your name, and you’re coming at me like that? And you, Phoebe, you’re just going to stand there and let your friend attack me? Really?”

Step-monster just shrugged. “So far, she hasn’t said anything untrue.”

“Right.” I laughed incredulously. “I guess we’re all clear on where we all stand. You two are mean bitches, and I don’t want anything to do with either of you.”

“Then move out of my house!” Phoebe snarled, stepping toward me. “I’m so sick of seeing you all the damn time. Seeing the kid Beau already has. Seeing the reason why I’m never going to have one with him myself. Go back to wherever you came from and get the hell out of my life!”

“You are seriously unhinged and need to get the hell away from me.”

“All right everyone!” Leif called from the other side of the room. “Now that Ryker is finally here, we have a little announcement to make.”

All conversation in the room trailed off. Everyone turned to where Leif stood halfway up the sprawling staircase on the far side of the room from us.

“As you all know, it’s been a tough few months for the Licks. Gio’s passing left us with a hole in our hearts, and in the band as well.” Leif bowed his head for a moment. “We struggled with whether or not to continue on. But we know Gio would’ve wanted us to. He was an eternal rock soldier. Lick it all up in heaven, brother!” Leif thrust his fist in the air.

“Every fucking drop!” the rest of the band shouted from below Leif.

I couldn’t see them, but I recognized Beau’s deep rumble among them.

Leif grinned to the side where they stood. “Come on up here, assholes.”

There were some grumbles but eventually Mal, Beau, and Ryker joined Leif on the staircase.

“You too, kid. Get up here,” Leif called out.

After a beat, Hunter climbed the stairs and stood at Beau’s side, his cheeks red and looking too damn delicious.

“Like I was saying, we have a little announcement to make.” Leif raised a hand. “In news that won’t be a surprise to some of you, since the fucking Babbler always knows everything, the Licks are continuing on. We found a drummer who gets our sound, kicks ass, and makes us all strive to be better. I’d like to introduce you all to Hunter Adkins, the newest member of the Long Licks!”

The room broke out in thunderous applause. I cheered with Saylor, and we clapped our hearts out.

Hunter’s grin stretched across his face, and he looked so freaking thrilled. My heart clenched at the sight. He deserved all the good things.

“What?” Blondie hissed. “You didn’t tell me about this, Fee. What the hell? How long have you known?”

“About what?” Phoebe frowned at her friend.

“About Hunter.” She gestured wildly to the guys standing on the stairs. “He’s the newest member of the band? Seriously? Apparently it’s already posted on the Babbler too? A little heads up would’ve been nice.”

“I don’t keep track of any of that stuff. Why would I?” Phoebe scowled at her friend. “How can I, when my marriage is crumbling because of this bitch?” She tossed another wrathful glare in my direction before flouncing off with Blondie hot on her heels.

“So come on up and meet Hunter if you haven’t already. And then a little later we’re going to give you all a sneak peek at what we’ve been working on this last month.” Leif waved. “Enjoy the party!”

“Lick it up!” most of the crowd yelled back.

“Every fucking drop!” Leif and the band shouted with the crowd.

I exchanged a wide-eyed look with Saylor.

“I don’t even know where to start.” Saylor laughed.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to start with the slider and then maybe move onto those delicious looking mini lobster rolls. And then dessert.”

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s do it.” Saylor linked her free arm in mine and we headed down the buffet to load our plates.

Despite all the drama, I wasn’t going to let it get into my head or affect my mood. I was here with family, friends, and later maybe I’d be leaving with my new—and hopefully not secret for long—boyfriend.

Life was damn near perfect.

Breaking News from the Babbler one hour ago

Long Licks To Name A New Drummer

The Band is Back Together

Exclusive News

The Long Licks will be announcing tonight that they’ve found a new drummer just months after the tragic death of former drummer Gio Barone.

In news given exclusively to The Babbler, tonight at lead singer, Leif Eccles’, home our source says the band will announce that they are bringing Hunter Adkins into the group.

Before joining the Long Licks, Adkins was the drummer for Shady Vortex, a one-hit wonder rock band that broke up early this year due to accusations of infidelity between their lead singer and another member’s wife. You can read more about that trainwreck on our site here.

Founding members of the Long Licks, Leif Eccles, Malcolm Holt, Ryker O’Keeffe, and Beau Benoit will be sticking around…and the Long Licks will be working on a new album to be released next year.

Our source also tells us that the band will be playing surprise concerts in the LA area as they work on new material.

The Babbler broke the news that Gio Barone had overdosed at his LA area home four months ago when he was found unresponsive by a friend.

Now, after a short hiatus, the band is back…and our source says the Long Licks are looking forward.

Stay tuned…

Chapter 24

Hunter

“What was that about the Babbler?” I asked Leif as we walked back down the stairs.

“Ah, you know how that rag is. They always have their ear to the ground. They get the scoop first. Always.”

“Or someone leaked the news to make sure the announcement came out,” Danny met us at the bottom with raised eyebrows.

“What? You think I did it?” I got that weightless feeling in my stomach, but it was quickly followed by anger. “Fuck you.”

“Whoa.” Ryker stepped between us and moved me backwards with a smooth motion that would’ve looked like he was patting me on the shoulders to anyone else. “Let’s keep up the happy family façade, boys. Everyone’s watching.”

“I would never compromise shit with you guys.” I shook my head. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Enough people knew from planning this anyhow.” Leif pointed out. “It’s not like we could trace the source even if we wanted to. It’s literally public knowledge now. What’s the point?”

“The point is a contract could’ve been broken.” Danny’s eyes rested on me like I was the culprit. “Hunter had a pretty onerous penalty clause if he broke his NDA.”

My eyes immediately went to James, who was standing at the buffet table with an annoyed expression. He held both of our beers and looked so fucking out of place. So ill at ease. Like he was hiding something?

“It’s pointless to argue about it now,” Ryker drawled. “The article would’ve come out today anyhow. I don’t give a fuck.”

“Me neither,” Leif chimed in.

Mal shrugged. “Ditto.”

“Agreed,” Beau rumbled.

Danny huffed an annoyed breath. “Just tell me you’re not the source, kid. I need to hear that at least. Because if you’re the type to go blabbing your problems with the paps—”

“Fuck you.” I scowled at him. “If I got a problem with any of you, I’d have no problem telling you to your face. It’s the whole reason the guys voted early. I was sick of this asshole’s shit.” I hooked a thumb at Leif standing next to me.

Leif shrugged. “The kid’s right. Told me off to my face.”

“Yeah,” Ryker chortled. “It was awesome.”

“Fine.” Danny sighed. “I was wrong. I’m sorry, Hunter. I just had to make sure you were really someone we could trust.”

“You can. I swear.” All the secrets I was holding notwithstanding. Izzy. James. I tried like hell to keep the guilt off my face. “I need a drink.”

I stomped away to where James was still standing and holding my beer. “Was it you?” I asked before taking my bottle from him and downing a drink.

“Was it me what?” James sneered.

“Did you blab the news? Are you the reason I almost just got kicked out of the band?”

“They wouldn’t have kicked you out,” James scoffed. “Fuckers are thrilled that you signed. They know what a good drummer they have. You’re fucking irreplaceable. Believe me.”

This asshole. I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to an unoccupied corner. “Are you fucking serious? You’d play me like that?”

“What? I don’t get what the big deal is. The news came out an hour or two early, and I got a few grand to line my pockets. Win-win.”

“Oh you can fuck all the way off.” I stepped into his space and glared down at my former best friend. “You and me are done. I don’t want to see you. I don’t even want to smell your fucking cologne. Anyone who gets between me and my money, my career, my fucking future is a dead man walking.”

“You’re such a fucking drama queen. You’re still in the band. No harm. No foul. Lighten up.” He moved to pat my arm like a condescending dick, but I stepped back.

“The only reason I don’t hand your ass to you right now is because literally everyone in the room is watching. So you’re going to smile like your life fucking depends on it—because it does—and get the hell out of here.”

James stepped past me, bumping my shoulder on his way by. “Give me a call when you realize what a dick you’re being.”

“Never going to happen because you’re the—”

“Hunter!” Leif called, interrupting me. “Have you met my favorite sound engineer, Eric Davis?”

“Be right there, Leif!” I hollered back, but by the time I turned back to where James had been, he was gone.

Good.

I headed over to Leif and he introduced me to a couple people. The next hour was a blur of gladhanding and bullshit. I’d had some of it with my first band, but definitely not on this scale. Everyone suddenly wanted a piece of me. From the studio people to the influencer friends of Beau’s wife to literally every single woman I was introduced to.

The entire time I chatted with people, I was aware of my ex lingering on the periphery. Most of the time she was talking and laughing with Beau’s wife. But her attention was always on me. Fucking made my skin crawl.

Unlike Izzy, who was busy talking and laughing with Saylor. And she looked so luscious in her dress. All supple skin and delicious cleavage. It was fucking distracting. I wanted to grab her and kiss the shit out of her every time I heard her tinkling laughter.

There was finally a lull in the intros, and I was heading over to chat with Iz and Saylor, when she cornered me.

“So, someone thinks they’re a big man on campus now.”

Just the sound of her voice made me shudder. What the fuck was I thinking ever hooking up with her? Let alone staying with her for so long? “Cheyenne.” I turned to her and lifted my beer in her direction. “Nice to see you landed on your feet.”

“With no help from you,” she hissed at me. “How long did you have this in the works? Is this why we went to that party last month? You’ve known that long?”

I shrugged. “I signed an NDA.”

“But I was your girlfriend!” she all but shrieked. “Didn’t I deserve to know?”

“Fuck me. You don’t want me to start listing all the things I think you deserve.”

Mal suddenly appeared at my side. “Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt, but there’s someone I want you to meet.” Then he grabbed my arm and literally dragged me away. “Sorry, man. You looked like you needed an assist.”

“You ain’t wrong.” I laughed into my beer. “That would’ve ended in one of two ways, and neither of them is pretty. So who should we talk to next?”

We talked to someone from the marketing department at the label, a producer, and a studio musician the guys had worked with back in the day but was retired now. The most memorable was one of Beau’s wife’s friends. She fussed over me, felt up my arm, and all but rubbed up against me like a horny cat. I’d had more blatant flirtatious looks from chicks today than I had collectively in my entire life.

I was starting to feel like a piece of meat.

It would’ve been so much easier if I could have Iz at my side. She’d have no problem telling the women to keep their hands off. This one goosed me on the ass as she walked away.

“Fuck,” I muttered, rubbing my suddenly sore ass check.

Leif clapped me on the shoulder.

“It’s only gonna get worse the more they drink.” Mal laughed into his glass. “Better you than me, my friend.”

“I guess I intimidate them too much to try that shit with me.” Leif laughed. “I can’t remember the last time a groupie was that blatant with me.”

I lifted my drink in his direction. “To be fair, they’re probably worried you’re gonna suck their blood.”

“Son of a bitch,” Leif cursed while Beau and Mal laughed. “Did they put you up to that?”

I blinked innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just thinking how you look a lot like that one guy in Interview with a Vampire.”

“Fuck.” Leif shook his head before laughing in Beau’s direction. “Is it too late to vote the douchebag out? He’s getting pretty damn cocky.”

“That’sh what I was tryna tell you,” Ryker slurred, hanging off of Leif’s shoulder. “We gotta talk about shit. About the kid.”

I exchanged wide-eyed stares with Mal. What the hell?

Beau took a step toward Ryker. “Hey, bud. How about we take a walk outside for a minute? Maybe get a little air.”

“No, no, no!” Ryker feebly pushed Beau who didn’t budge an inch. “I can’t talk to you. Coz it’s about you. About Izzy.”

My blood froze.

Shit.

This wasn’t how I wanted it to come out.

“What about Izzy?” Beau enunciated carefully.

“Beau, man, it’s not what you think,” I protested.

Beau jabbed a finger in my direction. “The time for you to talk is long over.”

“Shit,” Mal bit out.

“The kid’s been sh-sneaking around with your kid,” Ryker slurred. “I shaw them making out on the street the other day.”

“Shit,” was all I was able to get out before Beau’s massive, ham-sized fist plowed into my face.

Someone screamed. My glass shattered after I dropped it to clutch my aching face.

Then it was bedlam.

Flying fists—mostly Beau’s. I was just moving my arms to try to shove him away. I didn’t want to hit him. I knew this was a fight I’d never win.

“It’s not like that, man,” I protested.

Wham

Another fist to my gut.

“Oof.” I bent over, clutching my stomach.

Wham, snap.

A one, two to my face.

And I went down hard. More screams. The room swam around me, everything sounding muffled.

Then Mal was in my face. “You okay, kid?”

I blinked dazedly up at him.

“Shit, we might need a doctor.” Mal turned to talk to someone over his shoulder. “He could have a concussion.”

“Nah, I’m fine.” I put a hand down and shoved myself up slightly, but when the room spun, I slid back down. “Where’s Iz? Is Izzy okay?”

“Keep my daughter’s name out of your goddamn mouth!” Beau seethed from somewhere on my right.

“Kinda hard to do that when I love her. Iz? Princess? You okay?” I couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t answering. Where was she?

“You love her?” Beau repeated.

“Well yeah. Of course. Wait, forget that. She doesn’t want to tell anyone. It’s our secret for now. So keep it on the downlow, okay?” Fuck, I felt so drunk. Loopy. And my face fucking hurt. “What happened again?”

“Shit. We should get him to the hospital.” Mal turned to talk to someone over his shoulder. “And where the hell did Ryker hobble off to? Fucker drops a bomb and then disappears like a fucking fart in the wind. Eric! Can you find Ryker? Make sure the asshole isn’t driving. That’s all we need right now.”

“What the fuck is his problem?” Leif asked above me.

Mal sighed. “I don’t know. I think something’s going on with his mom. He won’t talk about it.”

“He’s hooking up with that waitress at the diner too. Oops.” I covered my mouth. “Iz thinks they’re cute, but I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

“Christ,” Beau bit out.

“I think you broke him,” Leif huffed. “Are you happy? It took us forever to find a drummer, and you fucking broke him!”

“Hey, he’s been sneaking around with my daughter,” Beau snarled. “He fucking deserved it.”

“He’s a freaking golden retriever!” Mal pointed out with a laugh. “Haven’t you been paying attention?”

“What the hell does that even mean?” Leif asked.

“I don’t know. It’s something Saylor said about him though. I think it’s a romance novel term. Something about guys who are easygoing and low drama.”

“I’d say this is the definition of drama,” Leif muttered.

“That’s not on the kid, though. Beau’s the one who came in fists flying.”

“He’s the one who hid the relationship,” Leif pointed out.

“I don’t feel so good.” Nausea churned in my stomach.

A second later, everything I’d drank came pouring out of my mouth.

“Shit.”

“Fuck.”

The guys all danced to get out of the splash zone.

“Shit. Sorry, Leif,” I muttered as I wiped at my mouth.

“Yup, definitely time for the hospital.” Mal grabbed me under the arms and pulled me to my feet. “Upsy daisy.”

Then I heard something I’ll never forget the rest of my life.

A shrill scream.

Followed by the thud, thud, thud of someone falling down the stairs.

Chapter 25

Izzy

Ten minutes earlier

“Do you know where the closest restroom is?” I asked Saylor quietly, trying not to interrupt her special moment with the cheesecake bite in her hand.

“Orgasmic, I’m telling you.” She moaned softly, and I had to laugh. “Sorry. Yes, there’s one down that hall, but you’re better off sneaking upstairs and using the one at the top of the stairs. Most people don’t dare to go up. It’ll be quicker.”

“Awesome. I’ll be right back.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“I mean, you can if you want or need to, but I’m good. And I don’t want to pull you away from your second true love.”

“It really is amazing.” She moaned around another mouthful, and I laughed as I walked away.

Saylor was right. I found the bathroom she’d pointed out, and it was free. I quickly did my business and washed my hands. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I hummed happily.

I was having an amazing time. Saylor was hilarious. I was so happy for Hunter. He kept sliding naughty looks in my direction. I swear I was halfway to an orgasm already, and he hadn’t even touched me. I couldn’t wait until we had our chance to celebrate later.

Everything was finally coming together.

Judging by the way I had to hold onto the sink, I might be a little drunk. The champagne just tasted so delicious and kept coming straight to us.

I was just happy. More than a little tipsy. And definitely horny.

I was thinking about Hunter and his clever fingers as I left the bathroom when I bumped into someone outside the door. “Oomph. Oh sorry.”

It was the step-monster and her little sidekick.

“Shit.”

Phoebe huffed and rolled her eyes. “Relax. Not everything is about you. I just need to pee, and the line downstairs is ridiculous.”

“It’s all yours.” I gestured grandly to the door next to me, turned toward the stairs, and got maybe three steps when someone grabbed my arm.

“You really think everyone has fallen for your bullshit, huh?” Blondie sneered, her talon-like grip tight on my arm.

“What did I ever do to you?” I tugged but couldn’t break away from her hold on me. “I mean, I don’t even know you. What’s your problem?”

“My problem? My problem is that I love Hunter.”

I froze.

“That’s right. I know about the two of you. Ryker told me all about your little tryst. How you’ve been hooking up behind your old man’s back. How no one knows. How he’s screwing up his big break by hooking up with an elephant like you.”

I took a step away from her with every accusation. “Look, you don’t know me. And you really don’t know Hunter if you think you have a chance of getting him back. He told me about you, too. I just didn’t put it together until now.”

This was the bitch who’d been crawling all over Ryker at Phoebe’s party last month. In front of Hunter. Because he wasn’t rich enough or famous enough for her ridiculous, clout-chasing ass.

“He’ll come crawling back to me once you’re out of the way. How he could ever go from me and all this—” she gestured at her thin body beneath her slinky dress. “To that, I’ll never understand. Lucky for me, gravity will be attracted to you though.”

“Gravity? What the hell is that supposed to—?” I broke off in a shriek as she suddenly shoved me, and I toppled backwards.

Into thin air.

My feet and arms flailed for purchase on something—anything—but there was nothing.

The moment stretched impossibly long.

Pure terror raced through my bloodstream.

I was falling.

My shoulders finally slammed into a stair.

My head bashed back.

And I kept rolling.

My legs came over my head.

Slam.

And then nothing.

Chapter 26

Hunter

“IZZY!” Beau roared.

My Iz? I pushed against Mal’s limp hands that’d been holding me up and raced over to where Beau was hunched over a sprawled figure in a black dress.

Iz had been wearing a black dress.

Oh god.

No.

NO!

I didn’t even know that the roar came from me.

“Izzy!” someone else shouted from the top of the stairs.

And then Phoebe, of all people, came racing down, holding the bottom of her blood red dress to the side.

“YOU!” I shouted, springing up.

“Whoa. Hold on a minute, partner.” Beau jumped up with me and held me back. “I can’t let you hit a woman.”

“Fuck off.” I shoved against his restraining arms. We’d stepped away from Iz’s sprawled form. Mostly so I could get closer to the bitch, but also because I didn’t want to hurt Iz. “She did this. We all know it. Or are you going to fall for her bullshit story about Iz tripping? She’ll fucking blame this on my girl, and you know it.”

“Yeah, I do.” He patted my chest. “But we’re going to let the police deal with the fallout. We got to get our girl to the hospital. She’s unconscious and might’ve broken a bone or three.”

Shit. I raced back to Iz’s side but was too afraid to touch her. I didn’t want to move her in case I made whatever was wrong with her worse.

“Are you kidding me? You think I did this?” Phoebe squawked from somewhere to the side. “I would never!”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see what Izzy says when she wakes up,” Beau retorted. “But honestly, I don’t know. You were right there.”

“Oh my god. You don’t trust me. You don’t love me.” Phoebe cried before sobs rang out.

“Is she okay?” Mal asked as he knelt next to me.

I’d been softly petting her hair since it was the only part of her I felt comfortable touching. “She’s breathing.” Fuck, it hurt that I had to take breathing as a good sign. That was the bare fucking minimum. “But she won’t wake up. She hasn’t moved. What if—”

I gagged.

I didn’t know what I’d do if she didn’t wake up.

Scratch that.

I glared up at Phoebe Benoit. I knew exactly what I’d do.

The next few minutes were a blur of shouting, accusations, and panic.

But Iz never woke up.

I was pushed back when the EMTs finally arrived.

“You should get checked out too,” Mal murmured in my ear.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of Iz. She looked so small and frail on that gurney. The collar they’d strapped around her neck was so bulky and just looked wrong.

“Let’s roll.” The EMT pressed a pedal on the gurney then pushed it into motion.

“What hospital are you taking her to?” Beau asked, stepping away from a cop. “I’m her father.”

“Cedars-Sinai,” the EMT replied. “You can ride along if you want.”

“I have some questions to answer here, but…” Beau looked left and right before his eyes rested on me. “He can ride with her. He’s her fiancé.”

My eyes widened, but like hell would I contradict him. I just wanted to be with Iz.

“Fine. You can come, but you’re in the front.”

I nodded and took off in a gallop with them. I wasn’t going to do anything to screw up the chance to be close to her. She just had to be okay. She had to.

“What’s your name, man?” the EMT at the head of her gurney asked me.

“Hunter. Hunter Adkins.”

“Why’s that sound familiar?”

I shook my head helplessly. It was taking everything inside me to keep it together. I didn’t want to make bullshit small talk.

“That’s it. You’re the new drummer for the Long Licks, right? I just heard on the radio. Is that what the party was for?”

“Yeah,” I answered hoarsely. “Some party.”

The EMTs questioned me over her medical history on the drive over, and I tried to fill in whatever I could as best as I could. The whole time, my heart threatened to beat out of my chest, and it had nothing to do with the sirens or our speed.

If anything, the fucker was driving too slow.

The eight miles to the hospital seemed to take forever.

“Has she woken up?” I asked hoarsely.

His eyes flicked to the rear-view mirror and the open span between our seats behind us. After a beat, he shook his head silently.

Shit.

That wasn’t good. Shouldn’t she be awake by now?

And fuck, those lights were bright.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. I’d rather the EMT think I was grieving instead of injured.

I wasn’t going any-fucking-where. They’d have to pry my hands off her gurney.

And that’s exactly what they did a few minutes later.

A huge orderly jumped in front of me and pushed me back. “Authorized personnel only.”

“I’m her fiancé.” I strained against his arms, jumping up on my toes to see something through the high windows on the doors. But I couldn’t see shit.

“All the more reason for you to stay out here.”

I wished I could play the ‘do you know who I am’ card.

A nurse bustled through the doors I wanted to get through.

“Family of Isabella Monti?” she asked, not even looking up from her clipboard.

“Here! Me!” I hollered, waving my arm despite her standing only a few feet away.

“He’s not next of kin; he’s the fiancé,” the orderly helpfully added.

“Ah. Yeah. That’s a problem. Could you fill this form out for her?” She shoved the clipboard at me.

I grabbed it but didn’t look away from her face. “Is she okay? Has she woken up?”

But she just shook her head. “I can’t release any information at this point. And when I have it, only to next of kin.”

“But I’m—”

“Not her legal partner,” the nurse replied, cutting me off. “Has her family been informed? We’ll need to contact a blood or legal relative.”

“Her father is coming. He’s giving a statement to the police right now. Will that delay treatment? We want her to have the best of care. Any tests she’ll need, I’ll cover.”

“They’re going to love you in billing.” The nurse smiled and gently patted my arm. “Fill out the form, and then Luis here will show you to the waiting room. Text anyone else coming to meet you there.”

“Uh, that might be a problem.”

She cocked her hip and gave me an unimpressed look. “You’re going to play it like that?”

“Uh, yeah. I mean, no. It’s just her dad is the bassist for the Long Licks, and the rest of the guys are probably on their way here, too.”

“No doubt with a pack of paps trailing them. Oh joy. Come with me.”

Still holding the clipboard, I followed the nurse like a lost puppy. She had answers, and I wanted them. Only I couldn’t get my brain to work to figure out how to charm them out of her. All I could think was that Izzy was hurt. I wanted to see her. Hold her. Make it better somehow. Or at least be at her side to make sure she was getting the right care.

I felt so fucking helpless.

“Have the rest of your guys meet you here.” She gestured toward the frosted glass doors behind her.

“Uh…” I couldn’t even begin to describe how we got here. “Where’s here?”

She stepped toward me and cocked her head. “Are you okay? Were you injured in the fall too?”

I took a step back and shook my head, holding the clipboard up like it could repel her. “No. I’m fine. Really. Just worried about my girl. I watched her fall. It was…”

My stomach lurched again and I heaved. Covering my mouth with a hand, I ran for the closest garbage can I could find. Only there wasn’t anything in my stomach since I’d already puked once tonight. “Shit.”

“Here.” The nurse patted my back gently and a bottle of water appeared in my eyeline.

I took it and gulped a few mouthfuls.

Then she pulled the bottle away from me like an annoyed mother. “Not too much now. We don’t want to overwhelm your tummy.”

Tummy? I would’ve laughed, but I still felt precariously close to tears. “I’m fine,” I grumbled.

“Right. In you go.” She gently shoved me in the direction of the doors. “And tell your friends to meet you in the International Lounge on the main campus.”

I nodded numbly. “And you will provide updates of Iz’s condition to us here?”

“I will make sure someone is by within the hour to get that paperwork from you and give her next of kin an update.”

I didn’t know how much time had passed. But the nurse was long gone, and I was sitting on a plastic-y couch in what looked like a bland hotel breakfast area. Only there was a meeting room and a locker room section. The concierge, beverage station, and banquet on the other side of the room really sold the hotel experience.

It was all so surreal.

I stared at the clipboard on my lap and tried my best to fill in what I could.

“Hunter? How is she?” Suddenly Saylor was kneeling at my side, her cheeks wet with tears.

“I don’t know. They wouldn’t let me see her since I’m not family. But I’m guessing she’s still unconscious, otherwise…”

Saylor patted my knee. “You know she’d want you at her side. I’m sure she doesn’t blame you.”

“Blame me?” I blinked. That didn’t make any sense. “Why would she blame me? Because I wasn’t there when Phoebe pushed her?”

“Oh.” Saylor tossed a look to her husband. “He doesn’t know.”

“KNOW WHAT?”

“Whoa, man.” Mal jumped between me and his wife. “You’re going to need to calm down. This is not the place to hulk out. Believe me. Hospitals don’t take it so kindly when you trash their waiting rooms, and this one is especially plush.”

“I don’t give a shit about the room. What the fuck don’t I know?” I gripped Mal’s suede jacket in my hands, clenching tight enough to strangle someone.

“So, apparently it wasn’t Phoebe who pushed Izzy down the stairs.” Mal spoke calmly and slowly.

Too fucking slowly.

“THEN WHO?”

“Oh shit. You’re telling him now?” Beau walked in with a weaving Ryker at his side.

I eyed Ryker for a second, wanting to bash his face in, but I had more important things to handle. “Did you check in with the nurse on duty in the ER? Do they know Iz’s family is here? Because they won’t tell me shit. Like these other assholes.”

“I didn’t.” Beau craned his neck. “Who should I talk to?”

I waved the concierge over and got Beau to take the clipboard wherever it was supposed to go. Then I whirled around on Mal and his wife. “Who pushed her?”

Mal stepped between me and his wife again. “Phoebe was in the upstairs bathroom when Izzy was pushed. Multiple witnesses confirmed it was a blonde in a long aqua dress who pushed Izzy.”

The room swam around me for a second.

“No. That’s not right.” I shook my head and sank down on the vinyl couch. “It was Phoebe. I saw her running down the stairs right after. It had to be her.”

“But it wasn’t, Hunter.” The bench squeaked as Mal sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, but it was Cheyenne. Your ex pushed her down the stairs.”

My stomach heaved, and I ran for the trash can for the second time tonight.

I was still standing there hunched over the can with bile dripping off my lips when Saylor passed me a tissue.

“This isn’t your fault,” she whispered. “Do not take what that dingbat did on your shoulders. No one here is blaming you. No one.”

“It wouldn’t have happened but for me.” Tears blurred my vision, and I wasn’t fucking ashamed of it. “And I should’ve known she’d try to get back at me. I should’ve fucking known.”

Saylor wrapped her arms around my torso and burrowed her face into my chest. “Don’t do that to yourself. You didn’t do any of this. I swear. It’s not on you. Cheyenne is the one to blame. Hate her. Blame her. Don’t take it on yourself.”

“What she said, man.” Mal stepped up to my other side and slapped my free shoulder. “It’s not on you.”

“No one blames you, kid,” Beau rumbled from behind us. “Any more than you would’ve blamed me if Phoebe had been the one to do it.”

I closed my eyes with a wince. That wasn’t exactly comforting. Because I would’ve blamed him a little bit.

A lot of a bit.

“Only ones who deserve any amount of blame are my drunk ass and your crazy ass ex.”

We all turned at Ryker’s bleary but matter-of-fact statement.

“Is this when you finally tell us what the fuck is going on with you?” Mal asked with a grimace.

Ryker lifted a shoulder. “What’s not going on? Gio’s dead. My mom’s in renal failure. And the girl I love hates the music industry. She’s going to hate me when she finds out who I am.”

“This group is like a real-life HBO drama series,” Saylor stage-whispered in an aside to Mal with me stuck between them.

“You believe me now that money doesn’t buy happiness?” Mal murmured back to her.

Saylor nodded with wide eyes.

“What’d I miss?” Leif stopped in the door and took in the scene—me in the middle of a group hug with Mal and Saylor while Beau consoled a tearful Ryker on the banquette seat.

“Hey, man.” Mal broke away to give Leif a bear hug. His voice was muffled in Leif’s shoulder when he spoke again. “Didn’t think the cops would let you leave this soon.”

“Why? I didn’t see anything that happened. They already had Phoebe, Cheyenne, and a few other witnesses who saw shit go down. I gotta be here for my crew.”

“Isabella Monti’s family?” A woman in dark blue scrubs stood at the door. “Are you Ms. Monti’s family?”

“Here.” Beau waved a hand and stood up. “What’s going on with my little girl?”

Breaking news from the Babbler

Police and EMTs Called to Leif Eccles’ Home

Nightmare on WeHo Street

Exclusive News

*embedded picture of Leif’s home*

As we reported earlier, Leif Eccles threw a party to name the band’s new drummer, Hunter Adkins.

Emergency responders were called to the Long Lick’s frontman’s home Friday, and this time it wasn’t to escort a trespasser away.

Law enforcement tells the Babbler a 911 call was placed concerning a fall down the stairs. An unnamed woman was taken away in an ambulance, while another unnamed woman was being detained for questioning.

No word yet as to the identity of either woman, their relationship to each other, or Leif Eccles.

We’ll update as more information comes in as this is a developing story.

Stay tuned…

Breaking news from the Babbler

Long Licks Spotted at Cedars-Sinai

More Medical Drama for the Band

Exclusive News

*embedded blurry photo of Leif, Ryker, Mal, Hunter, and Beau in waiting room*

This is unfortunately getting to be a regular sight—all surviving members of the Long Licks showed up at an area hospital tonight to support one of their own. Only this time, we’re not sure which one they’re supporting.

As we reported earlier, during a party Leif Eccles threw at his house to name their new drummer, a 911 call was placed because a woman had fallen down Eccles’ staircase. EMTs responded and took the unnamed woman to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Police also arrived at the scene and took statements, but so far, no word on who the victim or the potential assailant were.

Of note, Malcolm Holt’s new wife Saylor Holt, was seen in a waiting room, but Beau Benoit’s wife Phoebe Foster Benoit was not.

Stay tuned…

Chapter 27

Izzy

I stood on a beach, watching the waves ebb and flow. It was so calming and relaxing. I got lost in the rhythm of the water. I hadn’t had much of a chance to just be at the beach since I came to LA. I missed it. I had so many memories growing up of playing at the beach and chasing the waves with my mom.

I felt that familiar ache anytime I thought of her. And maybe that was the real reason I’d avoided the beach. The two of them were intertwined in my memory. It was almost impossible to think of a beach and not get a memory of something I’d said or done with my mom here.

God, I missed her so much. Sometimes it felt like I couldn’t breathe because of the hole she’d left in my soul.

“Izzy? What are you doing here?”

See? I was even imagining her voice now.

Maybe it’d been a mistake to come to the beach.

“Isabella! What happened?”

And then suddenly she was standing next to me. Holding me. Petting my hair. Crying.

“I didn’t want this for you. It’s too soon. Why are you here?”

“Mom?” I blinked blearily, tears sheening my eyes. But it was her. Standing in front of me. Stroking my hair. Crying all over me. “But how? I buried you!”

I clutched her to me, and we just stood there on the shore holding each other and crying.

“I missed you so much.”

“I know, honey. I know. I saw.”

I pulled back slightly so I could look at her face. “What does that mean?”

She shrugged. “I peek in when I get the chance. I saw you with Alexis and her family at Lake View. And then later at the Four Seasons with your father. And at that museum with the drummer. What’s his name? Hunter something? I like him, by the way.”

“But that’s not…” I shook my head, not understanding. How could she see all that when she was right here with me? And then it hit me. “Oh. I’m dreaming.”

And I felt the loss all over again. She really was gone. And would never be coming back.

“Sure. That’s one interpretation.” Mom tilted her head and gave me an enigmatic smile.

“Wait, I’m not dead, am I?” I couldn’t remember why I thought that.

Something had happened. Something big. I just couldn’t…

“No, honey. At least I don’t think so.” Tears pooled in her eyes again. “I really hope not. You still have so much to do, so much to live for.”

“And you didn’t?” I cried, swiping at my eyes. “I need you, Mom. So much has changed, and I’m not sure how to navigate it all. I need you with me. I need you to tell me when I’m being ridiculous and overthinking things. I need you there when I get married. I want you to hold my hand when I’m delivering my first baby—your first grandchild. I want you in my life. I need you. I don’t know how to do all this. I don’t want to do it without you.”

“Oh, honey. I wish, I wish so much that it didn’t have to be this way. I wish I had a chance to do and see all that with you. But I don’t.”

“I’m so mad at you for leaving me. It’s too soon.”

“I know, honey.”

“And I’m so mad at you for not telling me about my father. I spent my whole life thinking he was dead, and he was alive the whole time? And he didn’t know about me, either? How could you do that? Why would you do that?”

She gripped my hand for a second then let it fall as she took a few steps away. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared out at the water and away from me. “I didn’t see how we would ever fit into his life. He spent so much time on the road, in a tour bus and on planes. That’s no life for a baby. Or at least that was the lie I told myself.” She sighed and finally turned around to face me, and I saw the naked pain on her face. “But really, I guess I was selfish. I wanted you all to myself. And deep down, I was afraid he’d break your heart just like he broke mine.”

I had to look away.

Because she wasn’t wrong. After spending a month with Beau, I could see how easy it was to get drawn into his magnetic field. And how easy it was to be disappointed by him. How many times had I vowed to leave? The only reason I’d stayed so long was because of Hunter.

Hunter.

I could almost hear his voice now.

“Iz. I need you, princess. I need you to wake up.”

That was weird.

“Sounds like our time is almost over.”

I stared at my mom in surprise. She had a shimmery quality. Almost like I could see through her.

Yeah, I was definitely dreaming.

“Do me a favor, honey?”

“What, Mom? Anything.”

She smiled sadly. “Don’t let love slip through your fingers. Fight for it. Fight for him. And love him so hard he won’t ever want to let go.”

“I will,” I whispered.

“Don’t be afraid to live. Miss me, but live your life. And tell Hunter that I approve. A wonderful world. I think it’s the best idea he’s ever had.”

“What? I don’t understand. What does that mean?”

She shook her head. “You’ll understand when you’re meant to. Love you, honey.”

“Mom?”

Her body shimmered again until she was practically translucent.

“Mom! Don’t go. I’m not ready yet. Don’t leave me, Mom. Mom!”

Chapter 28

Hunter

It was agony to watch her in that bed with all the tubes and wires coming out of her body. She looked so fragile. Bruises were already blooming on her face and arms. Thankfully, they’d ruled out paralysis. But she’d torn a ligament in her left leg, broken three ribs, and they were worried about traumatic brain injury since she still hadn’t woken up. She definitely had a concussion, at the very least.

Talk of scans and possible diagnoses went completely over my head.

I was just glad to be here. Beau had pushed for me and him to be the two people allowed in her room, and I was so fucking thankful. We still hadn’t had a chance to talk. We were too busy freaking out over Iz.

“She just has to wake up. She’ll wake up,” I whispered to myself, holding her left hand up to my lips since it was the one free of IVs. “Iz. I need you, princess. I need you to wake up.”

I stared unabashedly at her face, looking for any sign that she could hear me.

Her brow furrowed, but that wasn’t new. She had frowned and flinched in the hour I’d been in the room. But she still hadn’t woken up.

“Are her lips moving?” Beau rumbled next to me.

I leaned forward, staring hard at her face.

“Mom,” she whimpered. “Mom!”

“She’s waking up!” I rocked in my seat, so full of anticipation of seeing those gorgeous brown eyes again.

Sure enough, her eyelashes fluttered, and then she was staring straight into my eyes.

“Iz! Thank fucking god.”

“I’ll tell the nurse,” Beau whispered hoarsely before ripping the door open and baying for a nurse.

Iz flinched and shook her head slightly. “Too loud,” she murmured.

“I’m so sorry, princess. If I could take away the pain, I would. The nurse will be in here in a second and give you the happy juice. They had to dial it back since you weren’t waking up.”

She blinked, and I couldn’t tell if she heard me or not.

Then the room was full of medical personnel, and Beau and I were pushed into the furthest corner as questions flew around the room.

“Fuck,” Beau whispered hoarsely. “I’m so fucking grateful she woke up. You don’t even know.”

“Oh I do. I really fucking do,” I whispered back.

We exchanged wet-eyed looks, completely unashamed of the emotional moment.

“I’m sorry for punching you when I found out about you and Izzy. I can see that you genuinely care about her.”

“I’d fucking give her my kidney if she needed it. I love her.”

“Good,” Beau grunted. “Keep it that way.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about Iz. She’s more than capable of looking after herself.” My eyes were glued to her still form on the hospital bed. I could hear her soft voice, but I couldn’t make out any of the words. “But I’ll always be there if and when she does need anything. Hopefully before she even realizes it.”

“I’ve made so many mistakes.” Beau groaned softly and burrowed his fingers into his hair. “I think it’s safe to say that my marriage ending isn’t one.”

I sucked in a breath but didn’t say anything. I didn’t happen to disagree with him there.

“There’s still a part of me that wonders if the witnesses are wrong and that Phoebe did do it.” He turned away from the action on the other end of the room to stare at the wall. “And I fucking hate that.”

“Fuck, man, that’s not on you. We all thought it.”

“Yeah, but I married her. I laid in a bed next to her at night. And what the fuck does that say about me?” He let out a deep breath and rolled his shoulders. “I can’t keep being that asshole. Something has to change. I have to change. I can’t keep being so fucking selfish. I have a kid now. And maybe sometime soon, a grandkid. Fuck, that burns to say out loud.”

“Whoa, pump the brakes. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. There won’t be a grandkid anytime soon. Iz is going to be going back to school at the start of the next semester. Maybe. I’m still pulling for her to transfer to UCLA, but she’s stubborn.”

“Fuck yeah she is.” Beau grinned like that was a positive personality trait.

I grinned back because I agreed.

Then a doctor came over and went through a whole lot of medical jargon and tests they still wanted to run. I listened with half an ear as most of it went over my head but kept my eyes on Iz the entire time.

Hers were closed now. I was starting to doubt she’d woken up.

Then she blinked and opened those gorgeous brown eyes again, her gaze shooting around the room wildly.

I left Beau and the doc behind to cross the room and hold her hand again. “Hey there, princess. You doing okay?”

“Hurts,” she whispered.

“Hey doc!” I turned back to where I’d left them. “Can you get her something for the pain? She’s hurting.”

He nodded. “I’ve ordered something. Let me check on it.”

I took my seat at Iz’s side again and held her IV-free hand to my lips. “I was so worried about you. Don’t ever fucking scare me like that again.”

“Don’t invite your crazy ex to any more parties, and I won’t.”

Beau’s booming laughter echoed around us. “She’s got you there, kid.”

I cursed under my breath but still had to smile.

A ghost of a smile curved Iz’s lips too before she grimaced.

Then a nurse bustled in and pushed some drugs for her and her eyelashes fluttered closed again.

I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand. “If it helps any, princess, Cheyenne will be going away for a while, so we won’t have to worry about her anytime soon.”

“We’re getting a restraining order against the bitch, too.” Beau resumed his pacing. “Maybe we should off her. I know a guy.”

I tossed him an incredulous look, but he was a hundred percent serious, judging by his thunderous expression.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” the young nurse murmured. “But if anything does happen to that young lady, I will have to report this conversation to the authorities.”

“He’s just joking.” I laughed uncomfortably. “Dark humor or whatever.”

Her eyebrows were still raised as she looked between the two of us. After a beat, she shook her head and left the room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I whisper-shouted. “You don’t fucking plan murders when there are witnesses around.”

Beau shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “I thought we had confidentiality or whatever.”

“That’s only for Iz, and only for her health shit. Not for potential felonies!”

A giggle came from the bed before she moaned softly. “You two should do a comedy routine. Maybe as a warmup before you play.”

A wave of love almost overwhelmed me. She really was going to be okay.

“I think the next thing we’re going to be planning is our wedding.” I pressed another kiss to the back of her hand.

She giggled. “Whoa, these really are good drugs. ‘Cause I just heard you tell me we’re getting married. So crazy.”

“Nope, not the drugs. I’m serious. The second you’re out of here, we’re going to Vegas or whatever and getting married.”

Beau bit out a curse behind me.

“What?” She blinked a few times. “What happened to ‘I’m never getting married. It’s a religious trap.’”

“You. You happened.” My eyes sheened with tears. “You got under all my defenses. You made me love you and then you almost died. They wouldn’t let me near you in the E.R. The only reason I’m even sitting next to you here is because Beau allowed it. I’m not doing this again. So we’re getting married.”

She snickered. “You’re being ridiculous. I really don’t think I’m gonna get pushed down a flight of stairs again, so I think we’re okay there. It’s not a reason to get married.”

“But it was the thing that woke me up. Or maybe it was Beau’s left hook.”

“What? My—Beau—punched you? When?”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. We’re good now. But I’m saying that I love you. I want to have babies with you and watch them grow. You make me dream of things I never would’ve dared to dream of before. You make me believe that anything’s possible. Like we can build a fucking wonderful world together.”

“What did you say?” Iz whispered.

“What? That I want to have babies with you? I don’t mean right now. After you’re done with school—”

“No,” she interrupted me. “The wonderful world part.”

“I just meant that we get to learn from our parents’ mistakes. We don’t have to make the same ones. We can build a wonderful family and a wonderful world of our own—together.”

Tears pooled in her eyes. “Oh my god.”

“Iz? Are you okay? We can talk about this later. It doesn’t have to—”

“I love you so much. It means so much that you would say that. I can’t—I don’t… My mom would’ve loved you. So much.”

I inclined my head. “I think I would’ve liked her too. She raised an amazing woman.”

“Hear, hear!” Beau cheered behind me, making us both jump. “Sorry. I just happen to agree. Katrina was amazing. And so are you, Izzy. Love you, kiddo.”

“Love you too. Dad.”

Beau crossed over to the other side of the bed to lean over the bed and press a kiss on Iz’s cheek. His eyes were suspiciously bright as he straightened. “If it helps any, I happen to approve. Hunter is a great guy.”

“I kinda figured that out on my own a while ago.” She shot me a mischievous look.

“Not all of us are as bright as you, kiddo. I figure you got that from your mother. And to prove my point, we’re going to have to find somewhere else to stay for a while. Phoebe might be getting the house in our divorce.”

“You guys are separating?” Iz asked.

Beau shifted his feet. “Yeah. Sorry to put you out. I’m going to stay at the Chateau Marmont for a while. Do you want me to book a bungalow for you, too?”

“Nah, no need for that.” I squeezed her hand gently. “She’ll be staying with me anyways. I’ve got a wedding to talk her into.”

Beau inclined his head. “Let me know if you change your mind—about anything. I’m up for a Vegas wedding whenever or to book you a room next to me. Just say the word, kiddo.”

“Love you too, Dad.” Iz blinked heavily.

Beau’s eyes softened. “Love you to the depths of my soul, kiddo. Seriously.”

Judging by her relaxed expression, Iz missed that part. She was already out again.

Beau brushed some of Iz’s hair off her face. “I’m going to head out. I have some arrangements to make. I wasn’t kidding about the house. Phoebe already texted me a pic of all my shit in the driveway. Crazy bitch broke a few of my guitars.”

“Just give me a shout if you need any help hauling anything.”

“Nah, you should stay here and take care of our girl. Make sure she’s getting the care she needs.”

“Always.”

Breaking News from the Babbler

Long Licks’ Party Melee Breakdown

You’ll Never Guess Who the Victim Is!

Exclusive News

The villain at WeHo Street has been named, and it’s newly crowned drummer, Hunter Adkins’ ex-girlfriend. Sources tell the Babbler that Cheyenne Sullivan, budding influencer and new bestie of Phoebe Foster Benoit, has been named as the assailant of Friday’s debacle. Foster Benoit scrubbed her socials last night, but not before we got screenshots.

*embedded photos from Phoebe’s social media of the two of them*

The two had been buddy-buddy the last few weeks, showing up for each other on social media and at a few area events. See the carousel above.

Sources tell the Babbler that the victim of Sullivan’s assault is none other than the secret daughter of bassist Beau Benoit. Benoit discovered a few months ago that Isabella Monti is his biological daughter, and they’ve spent the last few weeks getting to know each other. Remember Benoit’s trip to Disneyland a few weeks back? That was apparently Benoit’s attempt to make up for lost time with his adult daughter.

Which makes sense, since neither his bandmembers nor his wife went.

But that’s not all!

Apparently Monti has been seeing her daddy’s new drummer, Adkins, on the downlow, which was the alleged motive for Sullivan’s attack on Monti. No formal charges have been brought yet against Sullivan.

Sources also tell the Babbler that Daddy Dearest wasn’t all that thrilled when he heard the news about Monti and Adkins, and that they might’ve come to blows about the news—at the party!

I don’t know about you, but my money is on Benoit. His reach alone almost guarantees a KO. Hopefully someone got a picture or two and is willing to share…hint, hint.

Such a tangled web! And no doubt there are still a few more bombshells to untangle. Of course, we’ll bring them to you first.

Stay tuned…

Chapter 29

Still Hunter

The next few days were a blur of hospital bullshit, media insanity, and pain for my girl. I hated every minute of it. I just wanted her safe at home where I could keep an eye on her.

Not that my home was safe anymore.

Once the news leaked of Iz’s real identity and my tie to her, my apartment complex became a zoo.

So we were currently ‘couch surfing’ at Mal’s place. Beau had offered to put us up at his hotel, but security at Mal’s was guaranteed to keep assholes out. Ryker had offered too, but I was still salty about his loose lips.

My mom had reached out a few times since we’d made national news with my announcement and the—it felt weird to call it an accident since it was on purpose—so attempted murder? That was what the police finally charged her with—attempted murder and felony battery. They were pretty sure she’d cop a plea and they’d drop the top charge. But she’d definitely serve some time.

But back to Ma.

I didn’t know what the hell to say to her since our last call. And none of her messages had even referenced it—they were all concerned about my girl and if we needed anything.

“What do you think I should do?” I asked Iz as we sat on Mal’s couch. He was at an NA meeting, but Saylor was in the kitchen behind us, cooking dinner.

“I know a little something about making boundaries with toxic parents,” Saylor called from the kitchen.

Where she was apparently also eavesdropping.

But I’d take any and all advice. “Then get your ass in here!”

She laughed, and a moment later, she was walking around the end of the couch, drying her hands on a dish towel. “So, what do you want to know?”

“I don’t know. I love my mom—she’s great. The issue is her relationship with my dad. He’s an ugly drunk, the reason she’s paralyzed, by the way, and she’ll never divorce him because her religion won’t let her. We had an argument about it last time we talked. She told me her ethos, and I told her how he’s never changed, so I don’t want him in my life, and she said she’d think about it. And now she’s calling me all concerned but making no mention about our last convo.”

“Wait, he’s the reason she’s paralyzed?” Saylor sank down on the end of the couch. “That’s so awful.”

Iz gave me a sad smile.

“Yup.” I moved my shoulders uncomfortably. “He was also an abusive asshole to me and my brother growing up. Or at least he was until we got big enough to fight back.”

Iz blinked a few times, clearly fighting tears. “I think you should tell my dad that last part. So he gets why you didn’t fight back at the party.”

“I didn’t fight back because I deserved it. I broke an unwritten rule.”

Iz cocked her head. “You don’t think your traumatic childhood also had a little something to do with it, too? Really?”

“I don’t know. I never really thought about it like that.” And honestly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. I didn’t like the thought of it screwing me up that much. Of being a victim.

Saylor gave me an encouraging look. “At the very least, I think you should talk to a professional about it. Al-Anon might be a good place to start if you’re not comfortable with seeing a therapist yet.”

“I don’t know…”

Saylor nodded. “And that’s totally fine too. I think what’s most important is to be clear about your boundaries with your parent and be upfront about what the consequences are when they’re breached. And also to know that it’s never a one and done thing if you do go no contact. Slips happen because it’s ultimately difficult to cut someone out who you’ve loved your whole life.”

“Are you no contact with your parent?” I asked quietly.

“My mom, and yes. I told her she needed to go to therapy and work on herself and then we could see a councilor to help us work on our relationship. But she managed to find one who agrees with her and thinks her gaslighting is warranted. It’s insane, honestly.”

“I’m so sorry.” Iz leaned forward despite her leg brace and grasped Saylor’s hand. Tears pooled in her eyes.

It made me love her so much more. My girl was fucking amazing.

Which was why it was so frustrating I hadn’t convinced her to marry me already.

Saylor gave Iz an equally wet smile. “It helps that Mal’s mom is amazing. She’s my best friend here in LA.”

“Hey!” Iz protested.

Saylor rolled her eyes. “You realize I can have more than one friend, right?”

“Fine. Just as long as you know that I don’t rank my friends. They’re all my best friends because they’re awesome.” Iz sighed. “That’s why they’re my best friends.”

Saylor laughed. “You’re kind of ridiculous.”

“Part of it is the painkillers. But just a tiny part.” I held up two fingers in a pinching motion. “

Iz elbowed me.

“Oof.” I grabbed my stomach. “The rest is a hugely lovable part of you!”

“Whatever.” Iz huffed.

“Wait. Does this mean you’re not going to marry me now?”

“Oh my god!” She groaned, covering her face with her hands. “You’re ridiculous. Can we go five minutes without you proposing to me? Please?”

“Technically it’s been ten minutes,” Saylor pointed out.

I smiled charmingly. “And they’ll stop altogether the minute you agree.”

She nailed me in the head with a throw pillow in response.

* * *

Later that day, after some more thought and input from Iz, I called my mom.

“Hunter!” she answered. “How are you doing? How is Isabella? I’ve been so worried about both of you.”

“We’re okay. She has a few broken ribs and a torn ligament in her leg. But fortunately, she doesn’t need surgery, so that’s good.”

“And you? How are you doing? Because I just know this whole thing is tearing you up. Has Isabella managed to make you realize it’s not your fault?”

Christ, it was almost like I could feel her arms around me through the telephone.

No one got me like my mom.

Which was why this was so painful.

I gave a husky laugh. “Honestly, no. I’m still pretty screwed up about it all. But for me, this never would’ve happened. It’s impossible not to feel responsible to some degree.”

“You listen to me, boy-o. It’s not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of someone else. You have to give yourself some grace. You clearly woke up about that awful Cheyenne person. She’s your ex for a reason, right?”

“Right. I mean she’d never done something like this before. But I definitely woke up to her asshole tendencies. She tried to hook up with one of my new bandmates at a party last month. In front of me.”

Ma tsked. “So trashy. I’m glad you’re clear of her. And try to take some solace in the fact that you saw her for who she really is and ejected her from your life. That’s something to be proud of.”

I didn’t agree a hundred percent, but I loved the fact she was trying to make me feel better about it all. “Thanks, Ma.”

“And on that note, I’ve left your father.”

That wasn’t at all what I’d expected her to say. I’d been prepared to lay down my boundaries and consequences with her.

“I…don’t know what to say,” I finally mumbled.

“I never thought about what me staying with your father said to you about your childhood. Because you’re right—he hasn’t changed. He’s never going to change.

“And I thought I’d come to terms about the accident, but I think I really just buried it all because I’d been in survival mode for so long. I justified what he did, and that makes me ashamed of myself. I had a part in your toxic childhood, and that knowledge haunts me. I’m so sorry, Hunter.”

“I…thank you, Ma. You don’t know how much that means to me.” I had to clear my throat a few times before I could go on. “Do you need somewhere to stay? I’m kinda couch surfing at a buddy’s because of the media insanity, but I could—”

“No, I’m fine. I left your father in the house, and I’m at Aunt Tamara’s for the time being. I don’t know if we’ll go through the official divorce process yet. But I can’t stay with him knowing how much it has hurt you and Cory. Who I talked to yesterday by the way. He wanted your phone number. He’s doing well in Colorado. He’s seeing a girl he met at the tattoo parlor he’s working at. I guess she has a little boy. Anyhow, he’s going to try to make it out here in a few weeks and help me find a place of my own.”

“I could help you with that, Ma.”

“You have enough on your hands with the new band, the media, and your poor, injured girlfriend. But I wouldn’t mind meeting her one day soon.”

I laughed out loud. “How do you feel about quickie weddings in Vegas? Do they go against the church?”

“Hunter Stone Adkins! Are you telling me you’re engaged to a woman I’ve never even met!” Mom shrieked.

I winced at the decibel as well as the reminder of my middle name. “No, at least not yet. It’s taking me a minute to convince her to say yes. She’s holding out until we ‘know each other better.’ I don’t think she wants to walk down the aisle wearing a leg brace.”

Mom laughed. “Well, it sounds like you found someone who will love you for you, and I absolutely love that. I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Once all this craziness dies down, we’ll sort something out. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you, Ma. I know it wasn’t easy to leave him, but I really think you’ll be so much happier now.”

“I’m just sorry it took me so long to wake up to the truth.” She gave a muffled sob.

A pang hit me in the chest—both because she was hurting, but also because I couldn’t really trust that this would take. It was hard to believe that after almost forty years of marriage she’d actually leave him.

I really hoped she could, though. She deserved to be happy.

We exchanged a few more pleasantries before hanging up with a promise to meet in person soon.

“How’d it go?” Iz asked from the doorway, leaning on her crutches.

I jumped up and went to help her but froze at her glare. Shrugging, I returned to the sofa and watched as she made her way into the room. “Better than I thought. She left him. I guess the combination of our last conversation and this situation with me and you made her wake up.”

Holding her crutches in one hand, she limped gingerly through the gamut of furniture until she could stop next to me. Then she collapsed onto the sofa with a groan. “What did our relationship have to do with it?”

“Not us, exactly.” I picked up her braced leg and swiveled her until she could rest it in my lap. “I guess she thought that the fact that I woke up to Cheyenne and her evil ways before she went psycho was noteworthy or something. She wished she’d been as strong. I don’t know. I don’t really see the parallel.”

“All that matters is that she realized she needed to leave him. But hopefully it goes some way to help you forgive yourself. Because the only one who’s blaming you for this—” She nodded at her leg brace. “Is you.”

I sighed. “I guess I’d believe that if you agreed to marry me.”

“Hunter!” She laughed and shook her head. “You’re insane.”

“I’m crazy for you, princess. I thought I proved that.”

Epilogue

Izzy

Two months later

It took him two months. Well, technically less than one month, but I wasn’t going to walk down the aisle with my leg in a brace. This was going to be my only wedding, so the pictures needed to be fabulous.

Hunter’s mom, Kim, was amazing. Her and Mal’s mom kinda adopted me, and along with Saylor and Alexis, went with me to pick out my dress. I had another breakdown in the salon, missing my mom so hard it felt like I was missing a limb. I don’t know when or if that feeling would ever heal. I swear the only thing that got me through it was Kim’s gentle strength and humor. The woman was a freaking inspiration.

“Are you ready?” Beau asked with a gentle smile, his eyes teary.

I took a deep breath and shook out my lace skirt. I went with an ivory, off the shoulder, A-line dress with a sweetheart neckline and long sleeves in lace.

I felt like a true princess.

After taking one more deep breath, I let it out shakily. “As ready as I’m gonna be.”

“You look like a dream, Izzy. I am so proud of you, and that you want me to be the one to walk you down the aisle. I love you so much, kiddo.”

“Love you too, Dad.” I smiled up at him, battling against the tears stinging my eyes. It was too early to be weepy. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

Not even a minute later, we were walking down the aisle of a chapel at a swanky Vegas hotel as ‘Here Comes the Sun’ by the Beatles played.

Hunter only had eyes for me as I walked toward him. Tears welled in his eyes, but he looked thunderstruck and just happy. When we got close enough, he grabbed my free hand and pulled me to him.

“Slow your roll there, son,” Beau rumbled warningly.

The crowd tittered. I just rolled my eyes at both of them.

The ceremony passed in a blur. We’d gone with the traditional vows, mostly because I didn’t want the angst of writing my own. But a blink later, Hunter was sliding a gorgeous Victorian filigreed band into place next to the huge round diamond already on my finger.

“You may kiss.”

I barely had the chance to hold onto Hunter’s shoulders before he kissed me with fervor. Then he braced an arm on my lower back and dipped me low while he continued to kiss me. And all I could do was hold on.

When he finally straightened us, the room swam around me for a second, but I still spotted Alexis and her family in the front row with Beau and Hunter’s mom, Kim, and his brother, Cory—all of them standing up. But I was pretty sure Alexis cheered the loudest.

I laughed as I realized Queen’s ‘You’re My Best Friend’ was playing.

That wasn’t the song I’d picked, but it was perfect. I couldn’t be mad.

Hunter laughed at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking. He shrugged. “It’s true. You’re my best friend,” he all but shouted in my ear because of the cheering around us.

“You’re lucky I love you so much.”

“You got that right.” And then he kissed me again as we stood in the middle of the aisle with our friends and family cheering around us.

Later at the reception, Alexis cornered me and asked for forgiveness for conspiring with him to change the music at the last minute. “Hunter was arguing with the staff so I stepped in.”

“I’m not mad. I think it was perfect. Thank you for helping him.”

“Always.” Alexis sighed, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “But just for the record, we’re co-best friends. I’m not going to let some boy usurp me. Even if he is as awesome as Hunter.”

“Deal.”

“Plus, I get to see you almost exclusively for the next year, roomie.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t say that so loud that Hunter hears you. He’s still crabby about my decision. But transferring would’ve taken so long, it’s really the only choice that makes sense.”

“And he’ll fly in so often or vice versa, it’ll go by quick. And then the two of you will have the rest of your lives together.”

That was almost verbatim the speech I’d given Hunter. Only it hadn’t landed so softly with him. There’d been a lot of pouting, a few arguments, and finally, snarly acceptance.

“And we’ll have a whole two weeks in Hawaii before school starts.” I sighed happily. “I can’t wait.”

“Enjoy it. I’m so happy for you, Iz.” Alexis gave me another hug before heading for the bar where her dad was waving her over like he was landing a plane.

I jumped as Hunter’s arms came around me from behind.

“Got you right where I want you.”

I laughed softly as I ran my thumb over his matching gold band. “Ditto.”

“You about ready to get out of here?” He kissed a path down the side of my neck, and I shivered.

“Hunter, man.” Ryker suddenly appeared in front of us, looking frantic. “I gotta take the jet back to LA. Nova was in an accident. I guess she’s been unconscious since Wednesday, and no one bothered to call me until now.”

“Fuck, man. I mean, yeah. Whatever you need. We can arrange our own transport. Take care of yourself and send us some updates, okay?”

Ryker nodded before taking off like the building was on fire.

“Leif!” Hunter shouted. “Follow Ryker. Don’t let him go back to LA by himself!”

Leif saluted and took off in Ryker’s wake.

Seeing the torment on Ryker’s face reminded me of Hunter’s when I first woke up in the hospital.

I shivered as I watched them go. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy—who was currently doing a twelve-month stint in jail. I loved that for her.

“Poor Nova,” I whispered.

“Poor Ryker.” Hunter sighed and buried his face in my neck. “I hate that they’re going through it. Been there, done that. Never again.”

“Never again,” I echoed.

“But it sounds like we gotta call someone and arrange our own flights to Hawaii now.”

I wrinkled my nose. “How about we do that later? I think we have a marriage to consummate here.”

“Here?” Hunter drew his head back and gave me a naughty look. “As you wish.”

“Hunter!” I shrieked as his hands moved over my back to the enclosures there. “Don’t you dare! My dad and your mom are right over there!”

He leaned down and swept me into his arms. “Fine. We’ll do it the old-fashioned way then.”

The crowd cheered around us.

As he walked out the event room’s double doors and headed for the elevator, I put my arms around him and rested my head on his chest.

I was exactly where I wanted to be.

The End

Want to see where Hunter & Izzy are one year in the future? Click here for a bonus scene of their happily ever after!

About Licking Lips

The band’s story continues in Licking Lips coming this winter!

I can’t remember anything except waking because of a kiss from a rock star. Oh boy.

Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration.

I don’t remember anything from the past month-ish.

Apparently I was hit by a car after my shift at the restaurant…?

Man, amnesia sucks.

And now I have the keyboardist for the Long Licks freaking out in my hospital room, worried about me.

Which is weird because I don’t remember dating him.

Believe me, I would remember that.

Mostly because I hate everything to do with the music industry.

Did I mention that my estranged “father,” the CEO of Pinnacle Records and the person I hate most in the world, is thrilled Ryker is here?

I’m getting a headache.

Licking Lips is book 3 of the Long Licks series, but can be read as a standalone. One-click this spicy, age gap, Sleeping Beauty retelling romance about two people who turn to each other when their worlds are falling apart.

Also By Gillian Archer

Long Licks

Lick It Up

A Lick of Sense

Licking Lips

Tin Gods

Rocked

Refrain

Ballad

Encore

Holiday Mode

This December

That Summer Festival

Burns Brothers Series

Build

Fast

Spark

Torque

Grind

Star Studded

Falling for Rome

Fighting for King

Burning for Phoenix

True Brothers MC Series

Ruthless

Rebellious

Resilient

Rough Ride

HRH Series

Reluctantly Royal

Standalone Short

King of Hearts.

About Gillian Archer

GILLIAN ARCHER has a bachelor’s degree in engineering but prefers to spend her time on happily ever after. She writes the kind of stories she loves to read—the hotter the better! When she’s not pounding away on the keyboard, she can be found chasing her kiddo, or surfing the couch while indulging in her latest reality TV fixation, or reading awesome romance ebooks by her favorite authors. Gillian lives in the wilds of Nevada with her amazing husband, brilliant daughter, and goofy dog. Please visit her at gillianarcher.com

Gillian@GillianArcher.com

Facebook.com/GillianArcherWrites

Instagram: @gilliarcher

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