Angels Don’t Date

AN URBAN FANTASY ROMANTIC COMEDY

SINGSONG CITY

BOOK ELEVEN

JULIANN WHICKER

Chapter

One

Itook my seat in the balcony, second row from the edge, sinking into the red velvet seat with a slight bounce. The arched ceiling echoed all the people rustling as they took their seats below. And I was there, on my own in Apple City for the first time in my life, with sparkling chandeliers above and all kinds of people everywhere else.

Opera wasn’t my favorite, but the tenor singer, Monterose Fellicci, was my number one dream collab, so with encouragement from my best friend, SunRae—the best pet baker in the entire world—I’d taken the train from Singsong to Apple City so I could personally talk to Fellicci after his performance.

He didn’t take private messages, and he was the first pick from my five loyal followers for my next duet when I’d surveyed them. It was still surreal to actually be there, on my own, listening to opera all by myself. I got some stares, possibly because my princess ballgown wasn’t black. Pink didn’t seem to be what most opera goers wore. Also the corset top with silk flowers and fluffy sleeves. Also my crown.

If everything went well, my pastel princess-core platform would take off. I needed a prince to duet with, and hopefully Fellicci wouldn’t mind being my prince during a quick duet after his show. It was a ridiculously terrifying gamble, but after five years and five followers, I needed to do something drastic to change things.

I adjusted my skirts so they didn’t threaten the people sitting on either side of me in the balcony. The woman to my right didn’t look at me. She was focused on the music and wouldn’t notice if someone pulled a gun. To my left, the man gave me a dead fish look, like I was a dead fish, before he refocused on the stage. Were they humans? I couldn’t tell what they were, but they looked human, without glowing eyes or fangs, or anything else I was used to, living in the Scholar’s lab.

I had a difficult time holding still, not because I wasn’t interested, but because I was so nervous. What if Fellicci said no? What if I didn’t even get to see him? What if he agreed but then said something terrible about the way I sang? What if I did so terribly that he posted it on his page and made me the laughingstock of the whole world?

I shook my head. Any publicity is good publicity.

I knew that the opera was three hours long, but the first hour was so slow, filled with people breathing, rustling programs, coughing, and then there was a small fly that kept swirling around people’s heads. My anxiety grew with every song, unable to get lost in the ridiculous caricature onstage when I was so terrified to go see Fellicci for real. Maybe I should go back home before the Scholar missed me. He didn’t technically know where I was, but that didn’t mean I snuck out. I was practically fifty years old. You couldn’t sneak out when you were that old, because you were capable of making your own decisions. Maybe.

The fly almost came close enough to catch, but then it circled out of my reach for the entire first half. The intermission came and I stood, relieved to move. Maybe I could catch that fly, but it vanished in the swirl of black-clothed people who stood, shifting and moving around.

I followed the crowd, trying not to stare at all the people, so many who seemed absolutely human. I’d been raised by the Scholar, so I was used to infernal creatures instead of humans or angelic.

Standing in the aisle in front of me was an angel with legitimate wings, her white dress a splash in all the black. When I smiled at her, she looked at my pink fluffy ballgown and then away, disapproving. Right. Angels were always judgmental and awful, like that angel, Richard the Lion. I’d danced with him instead of killing him. I never would have danced with someone who had insulted my guardian and exposed his secret dragon nature, except that otherwise, he would have killed me, and I didn’t want to disrupt my guardian’s wedding with something like spilled blood. At least he’d danced well and not smelled like stale blood. No, he smelled more like fresh cut grass and bread wafting out of a bakery. Pity that someone who smelled so good had such a terrible personality. He was vain, vicious, condescending, and in general, all-around vile. And he was one of the most talented killers of our time.

For me, the threat of being killed wasn’t a big deal, not really, because I’d just rise a full undead vampire and go on with business as usual unless I was a soulless vicious murderer. I would absolutely die to defend my guardian’s name, but he wouldn’t appreciate it at his wedding. He also might not appreciate me sneaking out to the opera without him, but I was almost fifty. I’d aged so slowly, but at fifty it was ridiculous to still have to ask permission to go on a small train ride to Apple City.

While I was walking with the crowd down the hall towards the lobby for the intermission, I heard a distant mewling to my left. Had one of the people gotten injured? Maybe that was a different language. I searched faces, but everyone looked bored and slightly irritated if they met my eyes. The sound came again and I stopped at a side door, brass that matched the light fixtures.

It sounded like something was in serious distress. I always tried to help people if I could, and what if an innocent human had been attacked by a vicious goblin? I’d been born half human, half vampire, so I was alive while still needing blood. That was annoying. But I was also well-trained by the scholar to use all my vampire abilities. I wasn’t worried about my personal safety, particularly when my life would end in undeath. I didn’t want to get locked out, but I couldn’t just let someone suffer if I could help them.

I pushed through the door and stepped out into the cool evening air, smelling of distant trash and car exhaust.

I followed the mewling to a dumpster, and there, poking its head out from the side was an adorable orange-striped kitten. I’d seen kittens in pictures and videos before, but in real life they were even more adorable.

I gathered my skirts and then squatted down so I could get a better look at the little thing.

“Hello?”

“Meow,” it said with big, sad eyes. So cute. My heart melted like chocolate in the hot sun.

I spoke softly. “Hi there. Are you alone? Where is your mother?” Kittens had mothers, right?

“Meow,” it said coming out to sniff my skirt. It pawed it and then got its little claws caught in the lace ruffle. So adorable!

I laughed and picked it up, getting it unstuck, but its ribs were protruding. “Are you hungry?” I asked, holding it carefully. It was so soft and delicate, like a dandelion tuft with a beating heart.

It meowed again, and then there was an answering cry behind the bin. And another. Two more faces poked out, one white and gray, the other black. I was about to die from cuteness overdose. Had anything ever been so absolutely adorable?

I’d never been allowed to have a pet because I lived with infernal creatures who would eat a cat or a dog without thinking about it. Some of them didn’t have any problems eating humans either, except that it was against the Scholar’s rules. He enforced his rules very decisively.

Maybe I should move out of the laboratory and find a cute little cottage, or a rundown chateau to fix up. That would be so fun! Except that I’d be lonely. Being what I was, I didn’t really fit in the undercity of Singsong with all the other infernal creatures, or the upper city with all the angelic. At least I had some people I could talk to in the lab. And Libby was really nice, even if she had no idea how to interact with people instead of books. Still, at fifty, I should have more independence. If I were a real princess influencer, with more than five followers, then I could get sponsors and be financially independent. Kittens would be so cute to have as pets. And I could dress them up and teach them tricks and walk them on leashes that matched my different outfits.

For a moment I was swept away by the image, the perfect scene of princess core adorableness, my hair in curls, the kittens with little floral or plaid bonnets while they romped around at my feet. How hard would it be to make tiny bonnets for them?

The other kittens approached so I picked them up too. So breakable. They probably sold snacks in the lobby during intermission that a kitten would like. Hotdogs. They must sell hotdogs. Apple City was notorious for its fine hotdogs. Odd that it was Apple City when the famous food was the hotdog.

I carried the kittens back to the door, but as I’d feared, it was now locked. I’d need to find the front entrance again. I followed the alley down the old stone wall with elaborate carvings while the kittens meowed and struggled until they found comfortable perches in my arms.

I finally made it out to the main street and sidewalk. A woman pushing a shopping cart full of trash looked at me up and down, as disgusted as the angelic woman, although this wasn’t an angel. She smelled like sewage and looked like gray seaweed had grown down her head and body.

I flashed her a smile and tried to keep my skirts from dragging the ground. I’d definitely have to wash my skirts out in the tub when I got home, but at least I didn’t drop the kittens.

I got to the performance hall’s entrance and was able to slip inside while the ticket taker was talking to someone about how long the intermission lasted. She’d pre-ordered, so where was her soufflé? I stared at her as I passed, because who would eat a soufflé at an opera? Kittens couldn’t eat souffle’s, could they?

People walked towards the right down a broad hall that probably had the snacks if my senses were right. I followed the throng, trying to ignore the way that people were looking at me in my pink ballgown with kittens.

Someone stepped in front of me, blocking my way. She was heavyset, older, with bulldog jowls and a glint of the infernal. Oh, she probably wanted to eat the kittens.

I curled them closer and half-turned. “They’re not for eating,” I told her with a polite smile. “I’m taking them home as pets.”

Her lip curled and she pointed a finger at me with a very sharp claw. “Who do you think you are?” Her voice rasped against my senses like sandpaper. She was definitely infernal with a voice like that.

Was she talking about my brand platform? Wasn’t it obvious with the pink princess gown and the tiara on my head? I swept her my best princess curtsy without dropping a single kitten, and straightened saying, “I’m a princess.” I opened my mouth to ask her where the hotdogs were when she jabbed me back with her finger, poke, poke, poke, knocking me back until I hit an enormous marble pillar.

“Princess of fleas?” Poke. “Princess of garish taste?” Poke. “Princess of Stupidity?”

“I beg your pardon, but you’re quite rude,” I said, struggling with my self-control. I could defend myself to save my life, leaving her dead, but her attack did not feel like a death threat. Was I supposed to slap her? Pull her hair? What else did you do in non-lethal fights? If only I had my fencing foils.

Her blood was filling my senses, and in a few seconds, I’d probably forget the kittens and attack her. No, I wouldn’t. I was almost fifty. Much too old to lose control because some old harridan was assaulting me in an opera house.

She snarled at me. “Rude is exposing your betters to fleas and bad taste. Not to mention the fidgeting. I couldn’t focus on the last two songs because you kept shifting and your dress sounds like plastic bags in a windstorm. If you’re going to dress so stupidly, the least you could do was make certain it wasn’t loud.”

Ah. She’d noticed that? She must have supernaturally good hearing. Taffeta may have been the wrong choice.

“I apologize, but that’s no reason for you to be rude in return.” Unless it was. I didn’t know much about societal niceties outside of the laboratory.

She raised a hand and claws formed while her eyes burned. “Rude? I’m rude? You little…” Her swipe at my throat was interrupted by a pale hand protruding from a suit coat, ruffled cuffs rippling delightfully. I heard her bones cracking and her frightened gasp when she saw the vampire.

It was Herald, my birth father’s favorite messenger boy. I saw him as rarely as possible, like all vampires tied to my father. Still, I was always very polite.

“Herald. How good to see you.” I gave him a proper curtsy which he returned with a deep bow.

“Princess. May I escort you back to your box?”

“Oh, no. I’m in the balcony. Also, I’m trying to find hotdogs for the kittens. Do you know if kittens like hotdogs?”

He stared at me with his slightly red-eyed glow before he turned to look at the surrounding crowd who were staring, some with phones out recording, the woman on her knees, his hand still grasping her wrist, pale fingers seeming delicate, particularly with the lace cuff. “I will escort you to my box, and then see to the kittens.”

I held them close. “They’re not for eating.”

He gave me a slight smile while his flat eyes flickered red. “Of course not, Princess.” He inclined his head again at the word.

“What do you mean, princess?” the bulldog woman said, ripping her wrist out of his grasp.

He gave her a sharp smile. “The Vampire King’s daughter would be a princess, wouldn’t she?”

I flinched, particularly with the way everyone was looking at me, more phones coming out all the time. This wasn’t the brand I wanted. I wanted pastel fairytale princess, not Vampire Princess goth. It was fine for some people, but I wanted pretty and light with flowers and kittens. Cake. Tiny cakes slightly larger than cupcakes SunRae made for her animals. I should learn how to bake. When I got my little cottage, I’d definitely get an oven so I could bake small cakes and put them on pretty pastel cake stands. Baking would be much safer than going to opera houses where you could run into deadly dangerous vampires you knew you should avoid.

I edged away from Herald. “So good to see you. Give everyone my regards.” I curtsied and turned, but the crowd was a wall of bodies, penning me in. Ah. And quite a few of them looked like they’d enjoy killing someone tied to the King of the Vampires. I could defend myself. Libby had taught me some wonderful death spells, and the Scholar had taught me how to kill with my vampire abilities, but in public, particularly with the kittens…

I turned back to Herald, holding in a small sigh. “I will accompany you to your box.”

He held out his arm and I took it, letting my skirt drag while the kittens mewed and clawed at my neck. This was not how I’d meant this evening to go. Would he try to get me involved in some political vampire games? I’d rather die. But if I were undead, would that make me more or less interesting to my father? I didn’t think I could be less interesting to him since he’d never bothered to see me once in fifty years. Good thing. The Vampire King was absolutely insane and dangerous, and had nothing I wanted, not since I realized that the disinterest was mutual.

When we got to the fancy box, much nicer than my balcony seat, I smiled at the other vampires, Herald’s bodyguards probably, although he didn’t need them. It was probably so he looked rich and impressive. One of them was sent to fetch hotdogs while the other glowered at me darkly. He was blonde with a startling scar running through his left cheek.

“I like your scar,” I said brightly.

He didn’t blink at me, but it seemed that his glower darkened. Fun guy.

I turned back to Herald. “What brings you to Apple City?” I asked, cocking my head and ignoring the kittens clawing. They’d settle down once they’d eaten. Maybe. I should ask my friend SunRae what I should do with them. She had the best platform, all about baking delicacies for pets. She made horse biscuits that were the prettiest things, with pressed edible flowers in the tops.

“Business as well as pleasure,” he said with that same subtle smile. “And you? What brought you out of the safety of the Scholar’s laboratory?”

“Monterose Fellicci. He’s the tenor in the opera, as I’m sure you know. Why would you come to an opera if you didn’t like music? Anyway, I wanted to do a little duet with him after the show. I sent him messages on his social media accounts, but never responds to those kinds of things.”

He blinked at me, an intentional movement of his dead eyes that gave me shivers. “How old are you, Katriana?”

“It’s just Katrina these days. I’m almost fifty.”

He nodded slightly. “How old does that translate in human years for a born vampire? Ten? Twenty?”

I hesitated. This was where he insinuated that I was too immature and naîve to be trusted to live on my own. “I’m not sure, exactly. In my magic, I’m fairly well-developed, but of course I would be, raised by the Scholar. And I have most common languages down as well as the sciences.” Even though I hated them. Not that I’d ever tell my guardian that I wasn’t enamored with his favorite topics, but there was a desperate shortage of peachy pink and adorableness in his world.

He blinked again. “You seem old enough to marry.”

I blinked back. “Oh. I’d probably have to date someone first.” And where in the world had that come from? I was old enough to marry? Why in the world would my father’s herald say something that random and also creepy?

One side of his mouth tightened. “Dating to marry? That’s a peculiar notion.”

Notion? He must be living in the dark ages. “It’s all the rage in these modern times. How old are you, Herald?”

He gave me a sharp smile. “Not old enough to know better. May I give you some advice?”

I hesitated because what kind of advice could an old fashioned vampire give me? But refusing would be rude, so I nodded and leaned towards him while he leaned closer until our noses almost brushed.

His voice was low and deadly dangerous. “Marry someone who can protect you from the King.”

I blinked at him and nodded. Then I realized what he’d said and shook my head, pulling away. Vampires could manipulate you into doing almost anything if you looked at them too long. “I’m not going to get married before I’ve gotten a cottage and a stove. Also, all the men I know are infernal creatures who work for the Scholar. That means that they usually smell like stale blood or even worse things, and care only for dead languages or scientific processes. I’ve tried, but I’m not a scientist or a scholar. How can I marry one?” Hopefully he didn’t repeat my sentiments to the Scholar, but as far as I could tell, the Scholar didn’t waste his time with any of my father’s vassals.

Herald leaned back and studied me. “Quite the tangle.”

“Not really. Perhaps I’ll never marry. I’ll have cats instead.” I smiled down at the cute orange one who gazed up at me with those pretty sunburst eyes. So adorable. I could just sit here and stare at kittens for the rest of my life.

“But if you can’t defend yourself from a mostly harmless old harpy, how can you defend yourself from the Vampire King and his enemies?” Herald murmured while the musicians started playing and the audience quieted.

It’s not that I couldn’t defend myself from an attack, but we were in an opera house, and you didn’t just make a mess in public places. I’d been raised better than that. But defending myself against the Vampire King… It would be pointless to try. I frowned at Herald. “Now you’re saying that the Vampire King is a threat? He gave me to the Scholar to raise because he didn’t want me.” That still stung. My poor mother, dead after living so long in an insane asylum, and my father who threw me away. It was worse than being an orphan. “As for his enemies, being the Scholar’s ward has protected me well enough so far. And I am far from defenseless.” I raised my chin.

His smile was wry, his lips too red, his skin too pale. It’s like he powdered to be even paler than he would be naturally. “Ah, but that was before you declared yourself his daughter, a princess in front of so many witnesses, many of whom recorded the event.”

I’d been online for years with no problems. He wasn’t aware of how hard it was to gain traction in a digital world. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” I leaned towards the stage as the performance started, clapping loudly for Fellicci as he walked out and bowed with a flourish of his hand.

I’m sure the performance was epic, but between feeding the kittens hotdogs, trying not to move so my dress wouldn’t be too loud and distract everyone, and Herald’s not-so-subtle threat about my father and his enemies, I had a hard time appreciating the marvelous performance. Still, when he sang that last divine strain, I stood up, clapping awkwardly with one hand and my forearm while the other held kittens.

Now was the truly nerve-wracking part, cornering Monterose backstage and…

Before I’d gotten my kittens together, Monterose Fellicci appeared at our box as if by magic, his ethereal green wings gleaming. He’d had them glamoured during the show so they didn’t interfere with his role as prince charming. They were so lime. And he had a weak chin, but that was a fairy for you. He looked better with his filters and his special effects, but who didn’t?

“A princess requested my presence?” he asked in exaggerated accents, but not the right accent for the part of Italy he was supposed to be from. I wouldn’t speak the language in case he didn’t actually know it. No need to humiliate someone just because they were trying to build a brand.

I beamed at him. “Hi. My handle is pastelprincess137, and I’ve messaged you so many times. I can’t believe I’m really meeting you! It’s such an honor! I don’t suppose…do you think you could…Would you do a little duet with me? Just a few seconds clip, maybe thirty seconds? I was thinking ‘so this is love…’” I hummed a few bars before looking at him hopefully. Was I blushing too hard? Yes. Was I going to pass out from nerves? Maybe.

He looked at Herald, then at the scarred guard, then at me. “Ah, but of course. Classic fairytale prince and princess collaboration. I apologize for not responding to your charming texts. My rep doesn’t always make the best choices.” He stepped forward, took my hand and raised it to his lips while a kitten tumbled down. It would have fallen to the marble floor, except that Monterose caught him. “Do you have a photographer?”

I shook my head, no. “I have a selfie stick.”

“Hm. I’ll have my rep do the honors, and she can text you the clip.”

That’s when I noticed the photographer, a very irritated looking fairy with dark purple wings like knives arced above her head. She gave me a hard smile, not seeming to notice the vampires in the box with us.

He took a position three quarters from the girl, almost looking at me, so I mirrored him. He was tapping his foot, and then he began, crooning with his magical voice, and I wanted to scream and clap and bounce like a crazy fan, but I had kittens sliding around on my dress, so I held very still and came in at the wrong part, but who cared? I sang as well as I could, and his brow rose, while he recalibrated so that our voices blended better. Of course he did. We did longer than thirty seconds, actually the whole song. After it was over, he bowed over my hand again and then carefully put the kitten back in my arms.

“It’s been a pleasure princess…Do you have a name?”

“Katrina.”

He smiled a charming, sparkly smile and bowed again. “Kat? How fitting. It’s been a pleasure, Princess Katrina. Perhaps we’ll collaborate again.” He left the box, leaving me gaping after the biggest music sensation in all of the world, at least those willing to wear tights onstage.

I gasped when I realized I hadn’t been breathing, and then I pulled my phone out of the front of my dress, juggling kittens until I got it out and opened my app to text SunRae. It was only while the cursor was blinking in the box that I realized that I’d never actually gotten a recording of the duet.

I blinked at Herald while my heart sank. “Oh.”

His expression was bemused. “Fairies are not to be trusted.”

I sighed heavily while my bubble burst. “Well, it was always a long shot.”

Just then my notifications dinged, and there, sent by MonteRose200 was a video.

I squealed and danced around and almost fell off the balcony. I’d gotten my first prince charming duet. And it had kittens. No way this wouldn’t launch me into fame, fortune and millions of mini cakes.

Chapter

Two

Iheld still while Sultry strapped the enormous headdress on me, her concentrated frown somehow seductive instead of ugly. I’d managed to get home on the train before the Scholar noticed I was gone. Since I’d used Sultry as my alibi, I owed her, even if she didn’t know what she’d done for me.

“I should live in the sun, with flowers. The kittens would be so much happier in the daylight where they can frolic and play,” I mused out loud. I’d left them in my quarters, and they should be happy, but I needed to check on them.

Someone cleared their throat very loudly. I knew that throat-clear like it was my own last name. Not that I actually had a last name, but if I did, I’d know it was the elven scholar who disapproved of the entire world. Mr. Glade took great delight in bursting any bubbles anyone might happen to have. He may have had a first name, but I’d never dare use it unless he invited me and delivered the invitation wrapped it in an embossed envelope. He was probably allergic to cats and would inform the scholar that my behavior was in direct opposition to his contract, section five A. line fifty-seven. Meticulous, he most certainly was.

“It does get tedious living eternally underground,” he said.

I turned to stare at the tall, distinguished creature. He was as pretty as a sculpture carved by people who cared about beauty and were talented to boot. “And everyone smells like stale blood.”

“Stale something,” he agreed with a slight nod. “However, as a child, you certainly can’t live on your own out in the big wide world.”

“I’m not a child.” I barely didn’t stamp my foot. You see? Self-control. The hallmark of maturity.

Sultry pinned me one last final time then stepped back to admire her work. “What do you think, Glade? Do you think that the feathers are too much? I tried to replicate the local guineas, but as they’ve been extinct for two millennia, I had to guess.”

He squinted at the feathers and then nodded. “They’ll do well enough. Have either of you seen Miss Trombull? She left her sweater in the café again.” He raised his arm and the fluffy purple thing somehow didn’t look ridiculous on his elegant arm. He could even make Trombull’s chaos look elegant.

“Oh!” I hurriedly pulled off the headdress, scattering pins and handed it to Sultry. “Sorry! I forgot! I agreed to cover Mitt’s shift this morning at the café.”

“But…” Sultry began, but I was already running. I’d be late, and then whatever disaster happened, I’d have to clean up. Mitt was better at encouraging good behavior from the Infernals who came into the café for their blood frothies or whatever, but I mentioned the Scholar and that tended to calm people down. Probably because he spiked people to his wall if they didn’t behave. One guy had been staked there a month ago for urinating in a public hallway. Werewolves could be so disgusting.

When I got to the café off the main hall of the laboratory, Mini was waiting for her order with a scowl on her green face. No one else was there. She didn’t destroy property, just people, so it was all good.

“Sorry I’m late. Did you already send in your order?” I ducked under the counter, pulled on an apron, and then opened up the computer that showed our online orders. There at the top, was indeed an order from the grumpy goblin.

“Where’s Mitt? He does my order better. You always put sprinkles on everything,” she grumbled.

I beamed at her because I’d just noticed the powdery eye shadow surrounding her glowing yellow eyes. “I don’t put them on everything, but why wouldn’t you want sprinkles when life is so dreary down here and you could have a dash of color and happiness in your life? Like the seaweed sprinkles are flavor enhancers and cute. Who can resist that?”

She gave me a dead look. Mini was a tiny goblin, the smallest goblin I’d ever met, and the rumor was that she was part gnome, but she had zero sun in her disposition so I think she was just short. Short-tempered. Snicker. Still, she was wearing makeup like I’d been urging her to do for the last five years, since she started showing up so often, looking at Mitt so longingly. For a werewolf he didn’t smell too bad.

I started on her liver and bone biscuit mash, resisting the urge to top it with the pretty blend of seaweed, orange, red, green, aqua, to make the grayish brown blob look less like liver and bone-biscuits.

“Here ya go,” I said, sliding over the plate and giving her my best fanged smile. “Mitt took the entire day off. I’ll be sure to tell him how pretty you looked.”

She glowered at me, took the plate and stomped off to her usual corner, as far from the garden as she could get. The café was all windows on the one side looking out on the laboratory’s main hall, but on the opposite wall and towards the end, there was an indoor garden with hundreds of full-spectrum bulbs, so we could grow our own micro greens and also flowers. Mitt was also always stealing the poison lab’s frogs and sticking them in there, because dissection was cruel. But any time an ogre came in, those frogs would disappear, because they were food.

I started cleaning, humming my favorite princess cleaning song when a silver bullet came towards me. If I didn’t catch it the bullet would hit the glass blood dispenser behind me, and that would explode glass and blood in a mess that would take forever to clean up. But if I caught it with my right hand, I wouldn’t be able to use it well for a week. Bullets burned your fingers terribly.

My thoughts blurred along with my body as I turned, caught the bullet with my left hand and then threw it back at the intruder, a man in a long dark coat, with an unkempt goatee. The bullet went through his eye, lodged in his brain, and then he fell back, hitting the floor with an ominous thud.

I stared at the fallen body while my heart beat too fast and black spots filled my vision. I needed more blood before I passed out. I tended towards anemia if I didn’t keep up my blood drinking, and I honestly hated it. It was disgusting and the opposite of cute.

I filled a pretty martini glass from the silver spigot at the bottom of the blood dispenser, then added some mint-flavored silver sprinkles to the top. I sipped while Mini went over to the body, crouching over it and sniffing.

“Is he dead?” I asked, although what did dead even mean in the Scholar’s Laboratory? Maybe he could use him for parts.

“You should call the Scholar,” she said, frowning at him. “He’ll need to stick him on the wall when he comes to.”

“He’ll regenerate?”

She sniffed a few times and then looked up at me with a nod. “I think so. Unless you want to chop off his head, but that’ll make a mess, and maybe multiple heads will grow back.”

I pulled out my phone and texted the Scholar. I didn’t want to deal with trying to keep something dead if it was so determined to live. Determination was a wonderful thing!

The Scholar was there in three blinks, just in time to grab the man’s throat as the silver ball plinked to the ground, pushed out by his healing power. The Scholar stood, looking like death, holding the man by the throat, my guardian much taller than he usually looked, surrounded by an evocative mist that smelled like orange blossoms.

He frowned at the man, but spoke to me. “Are you injured, Katriana?”

I looked at my left hand. The burn on my thumb and first finger was blackened, maybe because it had been a silver ball. “Not particularly.”

“Silver poisoning is very serious,” he said, tightening his hand on the man’s throat. “You’ll have to go to the Healery and have Anna look at it.”

I tried not to sigh, but sometimes he acted like I was still a baby. “After my shift. Mitt’s gone to his grandmother’s for her two hundredth birthday.”

He gave me a sharp look before returning his focus on the man. He released his throat, but had a firm grasp on his mind, so the man just stood there, a slight red glaze over his still-healing goopy left eye.

“You shot this person. Why?” he demanded of the goateed assassin

The man twitched and then said, “For the bounty. The price for the Vampire Princess’s head is too high to wait for someone else to hit first.”

“A bounty on the Vampire Princess’s head?” The Scholar raised a dark brow and glowered. “Who placed the bounty?” There was a dangerously silky growl that meant his dragon was stirring. Maybe he’d eat him instead of putting him on the wall.

The guy’s voice was a raspy monotone. “Unknown. But the offer’s been placed on every respectable assassin’s board, so it must be legit.”

Ha. Like there was a respectable assassin. Other than Libby, but she was an ex assassin, so…

“Katriana, have you told someone that you were a vampire princess?” the Scholar asked, not looking away from the man, probably rifling through his brain for any clues as to who put out a call for my death.

I tried not to look guilty. I’d told him that I was staying with Sultry when I took a train to Apple City two days before. There had been a lot of phones pointed at me when the harpy and Herald confronted me. “Ah…”

He turned and put the full weight of his gaze on me, and it weighed me down like a truck full of wet cement. “Who did you tell?”

“Well, I was saying that I was the pastel princess, you know, on my social media account, but then this harpy was mad at me for the kittens and the noisy taffeta, and Herald stepped in.” I smiled brightly, but I definitely didn’t feel it.

“Herald? The Vampire King’s herald?”

I shrugged. “But I meant pastel princess, not vampire princess. I was wearing pink taffeta. I did not look like a vampire princess. You know, they’re always gothic. And I’m blonde. Blonde vampires always look a little sallow undead.”

He put a hand to his forehead, like he was starting to get a headache. “You could always spell your hair dark again like you used to. Where, precisely did you run into a harpy and the Vampire King’s herald?”

I hesitated before the words tumbled out. “At the opera. I went to Apple City on the train.”

He stared at me while the weight of his disapproval drowned me in cold, miserable anguish. “And this was captured on video?”

“Maybe.” I flinched when his eyes bore into me. “Yes. I went to meet the tenor, Monterose Fellicci, and he was so nice. He actually did a duet with me, and it was so fun! I posted it on my wall, and I got two new followers!”

He sighed heavily. “You’re still doing social media?”

“Of course. I have a whole plan, how I’m going to get a following and then have a cottage in a sunny garden somewhere. Not that the night garden isn’t great, but it’s more gothic princess than pastel princess.”

He blinked at me, then narrowed his eyes. “You have many talents and skills, but you want to be a…what do they call them?”

“Influencer,” Mini said helpfully, before shoving a bite of liver-biscuits in her green face.

“I’m a little tired of being a lab assistant, or translating dead languages,” I said in a very small voice, feeling guilty for all the years, effort, and time he’d put into teaching me what he loved. It felt like betrayal. “Maybe I’ll like it better after I’ve had a break. I’ve been interpreting and measuring chemicals my whole life. I want to try something new.”

“While the world is watching?”

I shrugged. “Why not share my life with the world? I’m alive. What else is being a born vampire good for?”

He nodded like he’d made an important discovery. “Run up to the library and stay with Libby until I’ve found the root of the evil that seeks you. She’ll take you to Anna, or better yet, have the Grand Sorcerer come to you. The café is closed. Mini, lock up after you’re finished.”

She raised her fork in a salute while I followed the Scholar down the main hall to the elevator behind the steel and silver-twined bars. I felt like a puppy that had been yelled at, even though the Scholar never raised his voice. He opened the door and gestured me in, still holding the assassin by the throat.

I wanted to say something, to apologize for running off to Apple City without letting my guardian know, but I also wanted to tell him that I was practically fifty years old and couldn’t stay locked up forever. But with immortals like him, forever wasn’t hypothetical.

I stepped into the elevator and the doors snapped shut, right before a knife came out of nowhere, aiming for my throat. It didn’t reach my skin because my guardian’s malevolent darkness dissolved the knife, then oozed around me, smelling so sharply of oranges, my eyes watered.

The elevator rose, and the clouds of darkness followed, surrounding me until I reached the library.

The doors opened and there was Libby, grasping a large tome in both hands while she glowered, as terrifying in her own way as The Scholar.

“What seems to be the trouble?” Libby said, then her focus went to my hand with its blackened fingers.

“Silver burn. The Scholar wondered if you could ask the Grand Sorcerer to check it out. It’s not a big deal, but you know how he worries.”

“Silver burn from a bullet?” She raised a brow, and while her voice didn’t rise, I shivered anyway.

“Yes. And there was a knife as well. Apparently someone put up a death order for me on all the respectable assassin forums.”

She looked around the broad marble hall, with crystal chandeliers tinkling above, and then shifted her grasp on the books and took my arm. “You had two assassination attempts in the last five minutes? In that case, we’ll go to my office.”

Her office wasn’t very interesting. It was in the center of the library and had no windows, just a fireplace and a very large desk as well as rows of filing cabinets. She had me sit on one side of her desk while she paced, texting and scrolling on her phone while I sat there. Well, I could text too.

I pulled open my app, and then checked my post, the one of my duet. I blinked at the views. Five million views since this morning? Impossible. I almost dropped my phone when I saw the number of followers. Over five hundred thousand. From five to five hundred thousand? Impossible. Those numbers were more startling than the assassination attempts. I mean, how dead could I ever really get? But this? Overnight stardom? Not even overnight. Midmorning stardom.

My message box was overflowing. So many messages that ran the spectrum to being excited about princess core to vulgar males. SunRae had left a few messages.

Your duet was amazing! I can’t believe you actually went to Apple City! So brave!

How are you holding up under the weight of so much popularity?!

I made a cake to commemorate your duet!

Attached was the prettiest little cake with a mini decal of Monterose and my silhouettes in orange frosting with little mini carrots around the edge.

She probably used too many exclamation points, but I kind of loved it, like I loved the cake.

I messaged back.

That cake is absolutely divine! How are you so talented? Yes! The duet was life-changing! I still can’t believe it happened.

It only took a few seconds for her to respond.

How did you get placed as vampire princess? Can’t anyone see that you’re a pastel princess? It’s right on your handle! And your hair is blonde, not dark.

I nodded my head in agreement, like she could see me before I quickly texted back. Right? And now with the annoying assassination attempts, there’s no way I’ll be able to go anywhere to really clarify that my platform is about pastels and sweetness instead of gothic drama. No offense to goths and drama queens everywhere, but it’s not me.

It took forever for her to respond to me again.

Assassination attempts? Srsly?!

Oh. I hadn’t meant to mention that. Who wanted to dwell on the depressing things? Gothic vampire princesses, not me.

It seems like I’m on some assassin forum somewhere. I’m sure my guardian will take care of it. And if I’m killed, I’ll just rise as a normal vampire. Not a big deal.

Except that if you’re undead, you’ll never eat my cakes! Also, it would be harder to be a pastel princess because blonde undead are always kind of…

I clutched my phone tighter. She’d always brushed me off when I said we should meet up for the past five years. She was too awkward to meet real people, and didn’t want to ruin our friendship with her annoying personality quirks, but if she was offering me cake…

I turned to Libby who was still on her phone. “Is there anything I can do to help the Scholar keep me alive?” Being able to eat my best digital friend’s cake in real life was worth living for.

She blinked at me, for a moment her eyes dark and desolate. “He just texted me. You’re meeting with the Vampire King this evening. The plot thickens.”

The Vampire King was coming here? I hadn’t seen my father in fifty years. I’d seen pictures and videos of him, of course, but actually meeting him? I shivered and held my phone tight, holding onto SunRae’s warmth. “Perfect. And he can make a media statement that I’m not his daughter, and none of his enemies need to kill me.”

She gave me a crooked smile that said, no, things probably wouldn’t end so easily, but she didn’t say anything besides a curt “We’ll see.”

Chapter

Three

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, pausing the very involved process of dipping my strawberry in chocolate to stare at Herald, who had just said the most ridiculous thing. We were sitting in the fancy room at the bottom of the Lydian, with the windows that looked out on the eternal night garden and it’s magically blooming jasmine with the glowing waterfall in the distance.

I didn’t look at the person to Herald’s left, the Vampire King, my father, blonde and sallow but still incredibly, shockingly handsome. Or maybe that’s just the aura he gave off. Or maybe that’s the intent he pushed into people’s minds, although why he’d bother telling his birth daughter that he was hot was a question I didn’t want to ask. Of course, he was as insane as soulless, bloodsucking, amoral vampires got, but one hoped he had some taboos he didn’t break.

“A wedding show. The producer of the Bride Wars has agreed to take on the project, and they’ve gotten Pearly White to be the host.”

I gaped at Herald then at my birth father on accident. “Pearly White the siren? Didn’t he accidentally eat someone on the last show he hosted?” I’d watched that reality show about people switching jobs, when Anna recommended it to me, and it had certainly been a train-wreck you couldn’t look away from. Werewolf taxidermists shouldn’t ever switch places with fairy dentists. Just no.

My sallow yet terrifyingly attractive father gave me a smile that sent a shock of absolute terror down my spine. “Very good for ratings.”

The Scholar shook his head. “You can’t take Katriana for some PR stunt because of her blooming popularity, selling her off to the highest bidder. She’s not for sale.”

The Vampire King turned his smile on Michael the Scholar, who only stared back with his usual calm glower in return. “Not sale, marriage. It’ll be a marriage competition, to see which gentleman she and the audience chooses.”

My guardian and the Vampire King stared at each other for a long time while my heart palpitated and my mind raced.

The Vampire King was in my life. I didn’t want him in my life. He absolutely oozed evil and irony in the most depressing way. And he’d given me an out if I managed to manipulate this situation in my favor.

I clapped my hands and bounced, beaming all around. “A marriage competition like the Bride Wars only choosing a husband instead of cake, dress and venue? That’s much better than career swapping. Then I’d get the chance to date all the most handsome, interesting, charming men that I never meet here in the laboratory! Do you think Monterose Fellicci would be interested? I don’t know if he’s the type to marry, but it would be so romantic, meeting for a duet and then not being able to help ourselves after the power of music brought us together. Or our love could be broken by a newcomer I’d never met before. Someone dashing, strong, dangerous…” And absolutely capable of handling himself against the Vampire King. “Like that angel, what’s-his-name. Richard the Lion?” I knew his name perfectly well, as most people did.

Both vampires flinched. That’s exactly what the angel was good for, making people flinch out of fear and loathing. Sometimes I watched his social media just so I could loathe him more personally.

My evil birth father turned to me with a soft smile covering his sharp teeth. “Katriana, but of course you would need vampire suitors.”

The Scholar shook his head. “Certainly not. As an opportunity to curry favor with your associates, or those who you wish to be aligned to your cause? This isn’t fifteenth century France. If my ward wishes to take part in such folly, it will be with her choice in suitors.” He turned his frown on me. “However, I do not recommend tying yourself to a gentleman you’ve met for such a brief amount of time. Character takes time to clearly discern.”

I smiled and put a hand on his arm. “But we can have character tests to determine nobleness of heart and goodness of soul as well as soundness of mind. And cake baking competitions!”

The Vampire King cleared his throat, a clearly unnecessary thing for a vampire to do as blood was notoriously bad at getting stuck in one’s throat. “I believe that the essential trait is the man’s ability to protect you. As long as you are alive, you’re vulnerable. If you turned, you’d be strong enough to stand on your own.”

The Scholar stood, hands clenched as he stared down at the Vampire King. To his credit he didn’t bother rising, managing to look bored even though he was doubtless considering fifty ways to try to kill the Scholar. The last time they’d had an argument, there hadn’t been anything left standing for miles. If they went at it now, in the Laboratory beneath the Library of Antiquities, Singsong City could entirely collapse.

I spoke quickly. “Strong doesn’t mean dead. There are many perfectly strong live people.” I raised my chin. “Like my guardian. And all the other people who aren’t dead. I don’t want to live in the shadows of the underworld. I want to live in the sun with my kittens!” Maybe I shouldn’t have added the last part, particularly the kittens, particularly not with the way the Scholar was looking at me, a deep frown between his brows.

“You should get more sun,” he said. “You are too pale.”

“Peculiar to have a sun-born daughter,” the Vampire King said, tilting his head to study me like I was a great curiosity.

I smiled at him brightly. “Peculiar to have a father show up after fifty years of negligence, but here we are.”

He hesitated for a moment and then laughed and settled back, relaxing the tension he’d been holding as he considered whether or not to start a war with the Scholar. “Touché. At any rate, it will be good to have you settled with an appropriate mate.” He stood and gave the Scholar an incline of his head. “I give you my leave. Herald will see to the particulars. Daughter.” He gave me an even less visible chin dip and then disappeared in a swirl of black fog smelling of blood, misery, and butterscotch.

I sniffed with a wrinkled nose until the Scholar waved a hand and the smoke cleared.

“This is a ridiculous notion,” he said to me.

Herald laughed, so charming, so smooth, so used to seeing people decapitated and not letting it get to him. “Perhaps it’s not entirely conventional, but young Katriana has proven her interest in leaving your care and embracing the big, beautiful world on her own. This way she’ll have some oversight as she encounters the most dangerous adventures.”

“Dangerous? It’s a wedding competition. How dangerous can it be?” I asked.

“Love is the most dangerous thing of all,” the Scholar said shortly. “I admit, with the social media issue, Katriana can’t go back into obscurity. Controlling the rhetoric is the most essential thing now. And if the Vampire King wishes to be involved in your life, it’s best if you have several safeguards in place.”

“Indeed,” Herald agreed with a sharp smile. “As many safeguards as possible. She looks like his sister. He’d very nearly forgotten that he had a sister, but seeing your duet brought it all back. Feelings for a vampire like him are the most dangerous things of all.” Herald stood. “I’m to take care of the details, such as scouting a location, and arranging caterers, and bodyguards and⁠—”

“Absolutely not,” the Scholar cut in. “I will see to the location and her safety. Katriana is my ward. Her protection is my duty.”

I said, “Can it be a castle? There are several mansion-type castles around Singsong, right? Particularly in the west, past the suburbs and Forest Park. Maybe with a little cottage for me to stay in with a good set of protection runes all around. I’m very good at protection runes,” I reminded my guardian.

He blinked at me and then gave me a slight smile. “Of course. You are not remotely defenseless, however, between the Vampire King and his enemies, we can’t be too cautious as far as your safety is concerned.”

I nodded because, honestly, this was starting to sound like a dream come true and if he wanted to keep me safe, that was fine with me. Handsome suitors of my choosing? A cottage? “I’ll need an entire wardrobe of princess dresses! And there must be a cake baking competition.”

The Scholar’s lips twitched. “I believe you already mentioned the cake competition. You may have more applicants from the infernal side than the heavenly. You are a vampire, even if you were sun-born. Perhaps in the name of fairness, you should choose an equal number from both sides, unless you feel that vampires and werewolves are somehow less worthy.”

I laughed and patted his shoulder, determined not to hurt his feelings. “No, no, I’m just always surrounded by them. Of course I can choose suitors who are more varied. I don’t actually want any angels. Can you imagine? They ruin everything.”

He raised a brow. Right. Libby was very angelic. “Everything?”

“Weddings. I’m specifically referring to that annoying Lion who interrupted your wedding.”

He gave me a thoughtful look. “Richard the Lion will be invited as one of the suitors.”

I gurgled a laugh. “No, no, no. I was only joking about inviting him. He’s far too arrogant and self-absorbed and vain, and terrifying to be an actual suitor.”

“You mentioned him and your father backed down. Also, the Lion had an excuse to kill you when you attacked him, and didn’t take it, so he’s likely to be a safe choice.”

I felt like someone had sat on my chest and was squishing my heart out my ears. “He has millions of followers. He’d never agree to be a suitor on some TV show. He’d laugh at the very idea of marrying a vampire.”

He gave me a slight smile. “And yet we are issuing him an invitation along with anyone else with the position and following to protect you against the evils in the world. You will choose the finalists, Katriana, but you yourself mentioned the lion. It is done.”

I crinkled up my face, held my breath and then released and shrugged. “He’ll say no. It’ll be an embarrassing rejection, but I won’t need to know about it. I’ll just post pictures of my kittens. I’ll go make a long list of all the possibilities. On both sides of the spectrum,” I added quickly, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It wasn’t his fault he was a dragon/vampire. And he was always in control of his instincts.

“One thing.” The scholar gestured and the door opened. Mitt, the werewolf was standing outside, looking like he was about to sneeze. “Mitt and Mini will walk you to your room. If you need to leave your room, they will escort you wherever you need to go.”

Mini flashed a grin at me from the shadows where she stood behind Mitt.

“Oh. I…” I looked at Herald who was watching this entire play with a studied indifference that meant he was devouring every word, every look, every hint of feeling. “Perfect! I’ll never be lonely. Herald.” I curtsied to him and then went with Mini and Mitt towards my room.

“I’m not a bodyguard,” Mitt growled as soon as the door closed.

“Who’s the most popular and attractive werewolf?” I asked, ignoring the not-a-bodyguard thing. He’d been in armed forces for a hundred years or something, and no one in the laboratory messed with him. Why Mini was there was more of a puzzle, except that she’d probably see something coming before anyone else. She was a goblin, so assassination was in her blood. She was so small, though.

Mitt shot me a look. “What?”

“Like if you had a sister, who would she be super excited to watch on a reality tv show? Also, it wouldn’t hurt if he sang.”

“Werewolves don’t sing,” he said quickly, then glanced around like the Music Master was in hearing distance. Mitt himself sang, so he was just being modest.

“Hughenot Raferty the body image guru,” Mini said with a gleam of her golden eyes. “And he sings.”

Mitt shot her a look. “What do you know about that pretentious cur?”

“Everyone knows about that pretentious cur. He’s gorgeous, he’s flirty, and he’s okay humiliating himself for the sake of his viewers.”

I beamed at her. “He sounds perfect! What about goblins? Who’s the goblin you’d be most excited to see on reality tv?”

She wrinkled her nose. “No self-respecting goblin would put a target on himself like that. No, who you need is Banus Jones.”

“The politician?” Mitt asked. “Why would you want to see him on reality tv? Although I suppose politics and the media circus are strikingly similar.”

“He’s part incubus. Anything he says, the ladies will buy.”

Mitt snorted. “If you’re going for diabolical, let’s throw the devil into the ring.”

“The Devil of Wonderland? He’s slick,” Mini said, nodding. “And he’s a local, so it would be good Song representation.”

“But is he handsome?” I asked then remembered the few glimpses I’d gotten of him riding around town on his mech spiders. Mesmerizing. Dangerous. Also not remotely interesting to me personally, so he’d be perfect.

Mini nodded. “He’s a devil. Of course he’s handsome, but he’s also unfathomably rich, which is its own attraction.”

“Nice! And then I’ll have three on the heavenly spectrum. Monterose Fellicci, of course, and then the angel…” Did I have to invite the angel? It was already done. Not that he’d agree to come. Good. Then I’d get two other heavenly options that I might actually like. I had no intention of actually marrying anyone at the end of this, but dating would be fun.

“Gargoyles wouldn’t ever be on a reality tv show,” Mini said, pursing her lips. “Too bad. That would get the viewers more than anything. Other than Winston the Warlock. Too bad he’s already married to Stripes. Still shocked about that. You should probably get an elf if you want someone who sings. It’ll be difficult to find anyone willing to be humiliated, but maybe a half-elf…”

I beamed at her and then I was at my room. “Thanks for the ideas. You’re the best. I guess you guys have to stand outside my room?”

Mitt shrugged. “I’m not a bodyguard.” Like that was an answer.

“It’s no problem,” Mini said, glancing at Mitt like she was searching for signs of his jealousy, that she could mention other men being attractive. He slouched against the wall and pulled out a book.

I gave them both a smile and went inside to be attacked by the three kittens waiting in the shadows.

I laughed and caught them up, happily balancing them on my shoulders and head while I went to my cute little kitchen. I’d painted everything to be like a forest, with tree trunks, leaves, and mushroom knobs on my cabinets. I put my strawberry shaped tea pot on the stove then fed the kittens. After they were fed and content, and my tea was done, I settled into my comfiest chair and pulled out my phone with my honey-sweetened tea at my elbow.

All the messages were still a shock. I couldn’t quite look at them, so I just opened the thread from SunRae.

Congratulations on the fame! I knew you’d break through some day!

I hurriedly texted back.

I’m actually going to be on a dating show. That is, a dating to marriage show. Of course I can decide not to marry anyone, but for the sake of the show, I have to look committed. It’s exciting to think about actually dating, but marriage? Anyway, I need to think of at least three males on the sunny side of the spectrum who might actually consider being on a reality TV show.

It took three minutes to get a response.

Monterose of course! What about an elf? You need people who can duet with you! Also, after assassination attempts, maybe you should think about magic users who have a lot of protective magic.

I frowned at that last line message before I typed. You don’t think being on a wedding reality show is insane?

When life gives you assassins, better make lemonade! I mean, better get aide. Although a lemonade themed picnic would be so cute! With lemon tarts, and pretty pitchers! With a white picnic cloth that’s completely impractical, but who cares because of the vibe!

I laughed and felt better. SunRae always made me feel better. And a cake competition! With adorable mini cakes! It’s going to be epic! I wish you could be there. Maybe you can be part of the catering.

I make cakes for animals, not people. Although for you, I’d make an exception. But not on tv. Can you imagine? I get queasy thinking about it.

I sighed. I also got queasy thinking about it. But I’d just focus on the cute vibe and how to extricate myself from the Vampire King without involving any I do’s.

Chapter

Four

The castle was surrounded by fifty acres of woods, and while it had been crumbling, an enchanter had been hired to make it look, well, enchanting.

I rode up the long drive in a black car, sitting between Mini and Mitt in the backseat and admiring the bucolic scenery.

After fifteen more assassination attempts since the epic duet, Mitt was starting to get irritated.

“The location is secret,” Mini said, wrinkling her green button nose. “But it won’t be for long. I can’t believe you got Hugh and Banus. It’s like your wish is the world’s command. I wish I were a vampire princess.” She batted her false lashes at Mitt.

He grunted and continued looking out the window. “I’m not a bodyguard,” he said for the fifty millionth time. He’d personally stopped thirteen of the fifteen attempts, so I was starting to think he did protest too much.

“I’m so glad that the Lion couldn’t make it,” I said happily. He’d been replaced by another angel, a very pretty blonde Cupid who was flirty on his video, but not terrifying. He’d just be eye candy for the show, nothing serious, but I’d definitely get viewers just for his angelic smirk. And Monterose had actually made time in his busy schedule to come on the show. I was excited about him, of course, because he was amazing, but at the same time, it was unsettling to have some of your safely impossible fantasies become reality. How could I actually date and marry a fairy who’d never seen anything infernal? Not that I was actually marrying anyone.

Banus Jones was a political figure who owned the world of finance, and looked like sin incarnate. Would I ever agree to date someone that serious in real life? Probably not. He reminded me too much of the Scholar. So serious. If he actually liked me, how could I resist? And I didn’t want to actually get married at the end of this. Unless I fell ridiculously in love with someone, like Mini seemed to be in love with Mitt. But was she really in love? Goblins sometimes wanted what they couldn’t have until they got it.

The Devil would be there, and his video had been mostly about the importance of representing the Infernal’s civilized side, so I didn’t worry about him actually sweeping me off my feet.

Hughenot Raferty was a bodybuilder werewolf who sold body-sculpting elixirs on his site. He also sang and did comedy sketches to keep his viewers engaged. I liked werewolves well enough, but werewolves and vampires were traditionally competitive predators. Not enemies, but very rarely romantically involved. Part of both of us would be eyeing the pretty sparkly people with an eye to consume. Bloodlust wasn’t my biggest motivator, but it did hit me hard from time to time if I didn’t keep up on iron by drinking enough blood bags.

Shockingly enough, the last contestant was an elf influencer named Zander Spinnera. He did sword forms and magic demonstration on his site, mostly defense as well as plant growing. He was so pretty, and he smiled, unlike Glade who hadn’t smiled in the fifty years I’d known him. Almost fifty years. My birthday was next month. Maybe SunRae would make me a cake!

So, that was the lineup: a werewolf, a devil, an incubus on the infernal side, and an angel, a fairy, and an elf on the heavenly. All vying for my hand. Me, a pastel princess and real life daughter of the psychotic Vampire King and a psychotic human. What kind of psychos would agree to that kind of offer?

The devil was ‘representing’ whatever diabolical scheme he actually had. The angel was probably here to gauge the threat the born daughter of the Vampire King represented to the world. The fairy was here for the exposure, same with the werewolf and possibly the elf. That left Banus Jones, the incubus-politician-businessman. He was exactly the kind of person the Vampire King would puppet.

And why was I doing this? First of all, and most importantly, it would keep me safe while building my platform. Secondly, my collection of princess dresses was now in the dozens, each one prettier than the last. I’d get sponsors so my life could be fairy princess-pretty after this spectacle was over. And then I could have a charming cottage hidden in some anonymous woods with fifteen layers of protection spells to keep me from any more irritating assassination attempts.

And maybe SunRae would come and visit me. We could have tea parties with all of our pets in the sunshine. And I’d plant flowers.

“Mitt, what’s your favorite kind of flower?”

He glanced at me. “Squash flowers are edible and likely the most versatile, although hibiscus flowers make a really great herbal infusion.”

“You only like flowers you can eat? But the garden in the café has all sorts of plants.”

He shrugged and continued staring out the window gloomily. “Something can eat everything I grow. And fresh is always best.”

“Particularly meat!” Mini said then whistled as we pulled up in front of the castle drawbridge. “Speaking of fresh meat, are they all there? I don’t see any angel wings, just sparkly green ones.”

I peered out past her and saw six figures standing in front of the drawbridge, an actual moat surrounding the large stone fortress. It looked more for withstanding attacks than having a romantic getaway, even if the enchanter had done his best, making sparkles and butterflies everywhere.

Mini was right about the distinct lack of angel wings. Had they swapped the angel out with a vampire at the last minute? Had my father decided to take matters into his own hands? There was no sign of my guardian or Herald, just six men in tidy suits, and then around the edges, the camera crew in gray that blended with the stone.

I held my breath for a second while my heart beat faster. This was it! My chance to build a following and to experience life out in the warm sunshine. I glanced at Mitt who was searching the shadows with a frown between his brows. My ‘not a bodyguard’ was doing his job perfectly. And I’d do mine.

I straightened up, fluffed my swiss dot skirt and then slid out of the car after Mitt. I smiled brightly at the line of men, and then realized who the first one was. He was tall, imposing, with dark shiny hair that may have been greased, but was probably some toxic poison that oozed from his pores. His dark eyes were liquid, emotional, and then he smiled and showed those bright, white, jagged teeth. Pearly White, the siren who would host this debacle. At least the angel wasn’t there. I forced myself to walk towards the man who was as dangerous as they came.

He took my hand and swung me around so I faced the camera.

The siren’s voice was a silky dream of death. “And here we are at the castle where the Vampire Princess will meet her true love. Kristin, is it? Such a human name for a vampire princess.”

I smiled brightly at the camera. “Katriana actually, but for awhile I went by Kristin because I wanted to feel more human. And you’re Pearly White. Such white, sharp, terrifying teeth.”

He widened his smile as he faced the camera and said in a low, mesmerizing voice. “Pity I’m not on the roster of potential candidates. I’m not sure who could resist such a charming beauty. Go ahead, Princess Katriana,” he said, once more smiling at me and gesturing to the next man in line.

The werewolf wore a suit, but no shirt. His pectorals were waxed, bare in a way that most werewolves would mock. He flashed a sharp smile at me and gave me a thorough perusal, making me feel ridiculous in my corseted Swiss dot dress, with pink satin waist tie. Also the ringlets. Should probably have gone for sleek vampire instead of pastel princess, but I was building my brand.

“You look good enough to eat,” he rumbled, holding out his hand for me to shake.

I bared my teeth—no fangs—in a smile and then put my hand delicately over his and gave him a very graceful curtsy while butterflies fluttered around and magical sparkles sparkled. “Mr. Raferty, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He puffed up his chest and nodded. “I know. It’s always a pleasure for females to meet me.”

I stared at him until he laughed, like he’d been joking about his enormous ego. I laughed along, but feebly. Okay then. He was going to be lots of fun to hang around. Um.

Pearly White led me to the next candidate, Zander Spinnera. The tall, silver-haired elf gave me a serene smile, but didn’t try to touch me.

“Princess Katriana. It’s a pleasure to meet you in the flesh. I look forward to furthering our acquaintance.” He bowed, I curtsied, and then we were moving on. He didn’t leave much of an impression, not even of arrogance, so that was interesting. Um.

The next candidate was the Devil of Wonderland, who gave me a shark-like smile that showed seemingly human teeth beneath his soft lips while his dark eyes glowed . “I’m so honored to be included in the list of your possible suitors. I’ve long believed that romance is the height and pinnacle of sophistication. That’s why I recently installed the world’s most luxurious honeymoon suites in every one of my casinos. I have one on each continent and the finest cities as well. Have you ever been to Wonderland, Princess Katriana?” His gleaming eyes twinkled with avarice and desirability. Happily, I didn’t have any kind of personal response to him.

Now I knew what representing meant to him. Product placement. His casinos as product. I batted my lashes at him and then let myself get distracted by the lovely blue butterfly fluttering around eye-level.

“I’ve never had the pleasure. What do I call you? Devil or Wonderland?” I refocused on him and gave him a saccharine sweet smile.

His brow twitched and he bowed. “You may call me Philius Gray. Should I call you Princess, or Katriana?”

“Princess Katriana will do very well.” I walked past him without waiting for Pearly White to move me along. It was one thing to be here to promote a product or your own brand, but for him to be so obvious about it! At least the werewolf didn’t hold up a canister of his elixirs right off the bat. Even he wasn’t so rude, and he was certainly rude enough.

The next candidate was Monterose Fellicci, the fairy opera singer. He wore a dark green suit with an embroidered vest. His wings sparkled along with his cheekbones. He’d put a lot of shimmer powder on there.

“Mr. Fellicci!” I exclaimed, curtsying and beaming at him.

He fluttered his wings and then bowed low, hand over his heart while he looked at me like he was dying. “Princess. Has there ever been a lovelier rose amidst the thorns? Singing with you was, how do you say, the breath of life!”

I giggled and batted my fluttery lashes at him. “It was an experience I will treasure forever! I’m so glad you were able to make time in your busy schedule for this competition.”

His eyes sparkled, literally, and I wasn’t sure if it was the work of the enchanter or his own special effects. “How could I miss an opportunity to find true love?”

Um. Did he actually think love was found on a stage? I mean, he did opera, so maybe?

Pearly took my elbow and dragged me to the next contestant, who was none other than the billionaire executive politician, Banus Jones.

“Princess Katriana.” His voice was sin and chocolate and the incubus looked at me with bedroom eyes that gave me goosebumps. No, that was the distant sonic boom that had me looking up, searching the skies for the missing angel.

There he was, a streak of gold across the blue sky.

My stomach twisted into a double-knotted pretzel when they slowed enough that I recognized the Pegasus and his golden rider.

The cameras were all trained on him as he made his entrance, a golden figure caught by the rays of the sun spiraling down to us. His wings framed his broad shoulders encased in armor of heavenly gold. It was too much gold, too much glory, and that didn’t count the music that trailed from his horse’s hooves along with streams of gold sparkles. Overkill. But what else would you expect from the most bloodthirsty angel of our time? Probably any time.

He landed on the far side of the group and slipped off his steed, coming towards us while taking off his golden helmet. He shook back his long golden locks, and caught me with his bright blue eyes.

No. No, no, no, no, no!

I was caught there, frozen in horror while Richard the Lion came towards me, slow, with a diabolical smile curling on his mouth as he neared. He dropped to a knee, gazing up at me like I was his salvation, and then conjured a daisy out of thin air. A daisy! It was bright and cheerful, my absolute favorite flower, but it’s not something I advertised. And it matched my dress. It did not match him and his elaborate armor.

Two things were absolutely certain: the angel knew how to make an entrance. And he was even more terrifying now than the first time we’d met. Also, he smelled incredibly good, sweet, fresh, and delicious, like fresh croissants from the finest bakery.

“And here is our final contestant,” Pearly said, coming over with his sharp smile, but even he looked slightly intimidated by the angel. “And he brought a flower. Such a romantic gesture!”

Right. We were on a show being watched by millions of viewers. I couldn’t knee his face and run away. I took the daisy, carefully avoiding skin-to-skin contact while the angel’s eyes danced with amusement at my expense. He stood and I found myself looking up at him. He wasn’t as tall as the elf or the devil, but he wasn’t as short as the fairy. And he was so close. And he emanated heat and glory that made him shimmer like he was a mirage. I wished he were only a hallucination.

“And that’s all for today until this evening’s meet-and-greet hot cocoa hour. We’ll see you after this.” Pearly White winked at the camera and then turned to give the angel a cold glare. “If you ruin the next segment, I’ll personally see that you regret it.” He turned and stalked off, barking orders at the camerawoman who followed him hastily towards the drawbridge.

“Such a diva,” the werewolf said, rolling his eyes at Pearly and then coming over with his hand extended towards the angel. “Your entrance was epic. He’s just jealous he didn’t think of it. I’m Rafe. Or Hugh. Either way. What’s your bench? I insisted they had a fully functioning gym. I can’t let my body fall apart just for a PR set, you know? I can spot you if you’ll return the favor.”

The angel stared at the werewolf then turned and went over to his Pegasus, apparently finished with us since the intro was done.

“Proud piece of angel trash,” Hughenot Raferty the werewolf muttered, scowling after the angel. Proud? Of course he was. Trash? No, garbage wasn’t nearly that dangerous.

“Katriana,” Mitt growled, eying all the candidates with a glower, “Let’s get you settled. Remember, you aren’t available for one-on-one interviews unless they’re strictly monitored and chaperoned.” Chaperoned? He meant with a not-bodyguard like himself or Mini.

I gave a smile to the remaining men. Only Banus Jones the incubus returned my smile with one of his own. That time, I got goosebumps from him. I was used to Sultry, who was a succubus, but she kept her personal life completely separate from her work, and her work was her passion.

I turned and went off with Mitt on the narrow path into the trees. I gave one backwards glance before stepping beneath the foliage. The Pegasus chomped at the closest person, Monterose the fairy. He shrieked and leaped back, hitting the Devil who was on his phone. He didn’t knock the devil over, maybe because the devil side-stepped so the fairy fell over in a pile of sparkles.

The elf looked at the down fairy with something like curiosity while the angel started laughing. His voice was golden honey and languid summer afternoons. For a second he met my eyes before I turned and hurried after Mitt, Mini following me into the shadows along with the angel’s disgustingly delicious laugh.

Chapter

Five

The cottage was absolutely perfect, with a big roof and diamond glass windows. Inside, my kittens were waiting for me in the cozy living room/kitchen, stone walls and floors, softened by overstuffed furniture in tiny floral prints. I scooped up the orange striped kitten and snuggled it under my chin as I explored. Past the big room was a bedroom with a pretty bed stacked with various floral quilts. So pretty, simple, but absolutely adorable, and it felt super authentic.

The bedroom had two doors, one a closet full of my gorgeous princess dresses and the other a bathroom with an enormous vanity stocked with all the cosmetics I could possibly want. Who helped the scholar set this up? Definitely not Libby. Sultry? I nodded. It certainly wasn’t Glade, and I couldn’t imagine anyone else the Scholar asking about decorating. Usually he’d ask me, but he’d wanted to give me a surprise.

My heart warmed and for a second I just stood there, sniffling, feeling loved and not abandoned. But I didn’t have time to be sentimental. I texted my thanks to the Scholar and Sultry that I knew they’d be too distracted to respond to, and then spent two hours making gorgeous content for my platform.

While I was photographing myself and my kittens in an adorable chemise with the light coming in the window just so, my phone dinged and a message from SunRae, my best friend forever came through.

Did you meet the contestants yet? I’m so excited to watch you on tv tonight! You’re a movie star! Who will you choose? The fairy is so pretty, and his costumes and singing are top notch. But the wolf is so hot! And an incubus billionaire? I mean…WOW. And the Cupid gives him a run for his seductive appeal. And then the devil of Wonderland? What is he doing there? Isn’t he like evil? I guess evil is hot! And then the elf. Elves are always pretty, but he also seems really nice, which is rare! Also, what do you think of this carrot cake? Is it too much? I carved tiny carrots out of real carrots and used edible moss for the tops, with veggie icing for the stems.

The attached photo showed the cake studded with mini carrots and fluffy stems, which was the most adorable thing ever, placed on a lace paper doily and with her gray rabbit Stew with big puffy cheeks next to it.

I hearted the image. Seriously, she was the cutest baker ever. As for her other questions, the elf seemed the most realistic possibility, but elves didn’t like vampires, and eventually I’d die and turn, and the pretty immortal would be stuck with an infernal monster. Maybe I should have included some vampiric options.

I typed a quick response.

Cutest cake ever! OMG I love it so much! Say hi to Stew for me. Why is he so cute? We’ve got to have a picnic sometime with my kittens and your menagerie. I’m not allowed to sound biased or leak any news before the show airs tonight. You’re right, tho, these guys are all hot! I’m the luckiest girl in the world!

I was lucky to have one best friend and other people who really cared about me, even if they didn’t understand. I took a book, a blanket, and went outside with my kittens to find a nice place to lay in the sun. Imagine the sun, right outside my cottage door! Was anything so magical?

Instead of reading a nice fantasy romance, it was all about defense runes. I needed to prove that I could take care of myself during this crazy show, or what was I even doing? And I wanted to not think about the fact that Richard the Lion was on the show instead of Lorien the Cupid. Maybe I could start a war somewhere so he had to go fight in it.

I made a face at the thought of seeing the angel again, and then focused on how to spell defense runes. I fell asleep on my book and woke up with a puddle of drool on the page while the trees shadows fell over me, making me shiver. I wiped the book and then quickly gathered up all the blankets, shivering too much. Being cold meant only one thing: I needed blood.

Inside the cottage I punctured a blood bag with my fangs and ignored the horrible taste while I considered outfits. I pushed back the hangers, fingers lingering on a silk dress that would be perfect for a picnic. Hm. What about this one? Chocolate brown velveteen bodice and skirt with pink silk scallops along the hem and pink silk rosettes along the bodice? For a cocoa meet-and-greet in the library, this would be perfect! My book nap had smashed some of my ringlets, so it took some time to recapture the perfection, and then I worked on makeup. After time spent happily seated at the pink vanity, with little cute rose carvings around the oval mirror, I was the perfect princess, ready for a cozy-cute evening. I bounced because everything was just so wonderful, and then I took a quick photo and left the room.

In the living room, I put a book and my kittens in a large basket, because then I’d be cute and get to see the reaction of the infernal contestants to my adorable pets. Except that maybe I didn’t want to see the werewolf’s reaction. I frowned as I stared into the black one’s green eyes, considering whether taking them would put them in danger.

I sighed and kissed his soft forehead and put him on the ground. “Sorry, sweetheart. I’d better not risk it.”

I took the kittens out of the basket and then stopped when I saw the daisy where I’d left it, tossed on the table. It hadn’t wilted at all, in spite of how long it had been. The memory of the angel hit me hard. He was just so…Arrogant. Rude, even ruder than the werewolf, and the way he made everyone else look like pale imitations of attractiveness without even trying? Unforgivable! I shook my head. I wasn’t thinking about the angel.

I wanted to toss the daisy, but it was my favorite flower, and it shouldn’t suffer just because it had the misfortune of being picked by someone so terrible. I put it in a cute white vase on my vanity and it seemed to perk up even more, making me smile in spite of the person who gave it to me. No one would know that I’d kept it. And I liked the flower, not the angel. Obviously. He was the most conceited, bloodthirsty, obnoxious creature in the entire world. Pity he was so gorgeous and sang like, well, an angel. At any rate, I already knew who I was going to vote to go home at the end of the first week. It would be good to help him with the virtue of humility. He desperately needed all the humbling he could get.

I walked towards the castle on a different path, one that should lead me to a patio and side door that would take almost directly into the library, where the evening cocoa meet-and-greet would take place. Hopefully I looked like a strawberry dipped in chocolate. I couldn’t help swirling my skirt as I walked, the basket with books resting on my arm.

I made it to the library, but a harried camerawoman blocked my entrance and pulled me back, flashing sharp teeth at me. “What are you doing here?!”

I blinked at her. What was she? Another siren? She didn’t sound at all soothing and manipulative. “Isn’t this where we’re having the cocoa meet-and-greet?”

“You’re not due here for an hour! We have to get set up and Pearly needs to interview the males without you, feeding their competitiveness. Where’s the Angel? I suppose you don’t know. If you see him, send him in. An hour!” she hissed and shooed me away.

I hesitated, feeling hurt and rejected for no rational reason before I nodded and gave her a sparkly smile. “Sure thing!”

I turned and started walking keeping my chin up even though it trembled. Wasn’t everyone supposed to be nice to me since I was the whole point of the show? Not that I should be so sensitive. Infernal creatures weren’t as a rule, but I was a half human born vampire. I was sensitive and delicate and stupid. I sniffed and then turned my head slowly as I smelled something delicious.

I sniffed as I turned a corner, walking down a stone hall away from the oak library door. Were those chocolate chip cookies I smelled baking? I sniffed and then followed the scent of warmth and happiness down a hall, down some stairs and into a gorgeous kitchen, well-lit, with a fire burning in the enormous stone fireplace, chicken noodle soup on the stove, and someone bent over the fancy white stove, taking a pan of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven.

In a blink, a jolt of reality set in as the angel, the vile, arrogant, horrible monster turned and stared at me, holding the pan in his bare hand, like he didn’t mind the heat. His golden hair was tousled, his blue eyes glowed with warmth and softness, and his lips parted oh-so-slightly, like he was as surprised to see me as I was to see him. And he was still wearing a golden breastplate that set off his gleaming hair and stunning eyes.

I crossed my arms and tried not to glower, but it was so difficult. I wanted a cookie, but it was him. The one person here who I absolutely knew would always be my enemy. And he smelled even better than the cookies now that I was in close enough range to sniff him out.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “They’re looking for you in the library.”

He gave me a slight frown as he put the cookies on the counter and then scraped them onto a cooling rack, all with his left hand, his right doing absolutely nothing. “I’m making cookies,” he said like it wasn’t obvious.

I rolled my eyes. He was just so annoying. “Why are you making cookies when you’re supposed to be in the library? Also, why are you here? I thought that the Cupid was going to be the angel, not you.”

He raised a brow and his lips twisted, showing a hint of the monster he was beneath the unearthly beauty. “Disappointed? Me too. But when an angel agrees to a public stunt, an angel will show up for it. Unfortunately, Lorien is a bit of a flake, so I’m here instead. Lucky you. I’m making cookies because sometimes when I’m stressed out, I go crazy if I’m not doing something, and making cookies is something, therefore I must do it.”

He turned quickly and then winced, barely anything, but it made me actually look at him. His armor, while gorgeous didn’t seem quite right, not when the front left side was concave, pressing into his body.

I put the basket of books on the counter and went over to him. He watched me come, wariness in his eyes.

I scowled. Like I was going to hurt him. I wasn’t the monster who wanted to ruin people’s lives. “Did you come here directly from a war? Don’t answer that. It’s probably classified, and I do not want to be involved.”

I held my hands over the metal, frowning until I could see the spelling. That’s what would hold up angelic armor more than any actual metal, although the heavenly gold helped. I started humming as I ran my hand over the metal, and then I sang the words of the restoration spells I knew as well as I knew my favorite princess love song. I’d restored so much reenactment gear with Sultry.

I slid my hand beneath the breastplate, against the angel’s silky skin. He was so warm. Did that mean he was feverish? Either way, he felt really good, and he smelled ridiculously delicious, like cookies, fresh grass, hot bread, and sweet blood.

I lost track of the world as I worked, singing over the metal, restoring it to its original shape, piece by piece.

The smell of his blood swelled, sweet, rich, unbelievably pure as I worked smoothing my hands over the metal and his skin. With a pop, the armor took on its original shape so it wasn’t crushing his internal organs. I worked the clasps over his shoulder, noting that it was the same clasp I’d seen on a Persian set I’d restored a few years ago.

A clank had me jumping, and I blinked up into his languid blue eyes for a moment confused, distracted, startled, until I realized that the back plate had fallen to the ground, leaving the front plate in my hands.

“Sorry about that,” I said, turning to put the breast plate on the counter. His chest was bare under the metal, golden skin splattered with blood. It wasn’t his blood on the surface, but beneath, under his skin, was more heavenly blood spilling. It smelled so good. Not that I wanted his blood. Okay, maybe just a taste. And now my mouth was watering which was absolutely not okay when we were dealing with internal bleeding. And he was. Idiot angel, baking cookies instead of asking for help when he’s practically dying.

I placed a hand carefully over the place the armor had been the most damaged, and could feel the crushed area beneath. I began healing spells, singing them while I touched his skin. Was this weird? No, it’s just what I did when someone came in to the laboratory who needed healing, but it felt different with a heavenly creature. No one else had ever smelled so delicious, but it was just another day at the Scholar’s lab. It was normal for vampires to be tempted by heavenly blood, but I wasn’t going to actually drink him. I’d rather die first.

I cleared my throat and focused on the spells instead of him. I worked over his ribs, pectorals, and there was his throat, pulse beating hard and fast under the skin. He smelled so good. So very edible. And the cookies…

“Princess Katriana,” he murmured in a low voice like sunshine on a cold day. Such a warm voice, with such gorgeous tone. “I don’t mind being bitten by a vampire, however it seems in bad taste to allow you to be poisoned after you put so much effort into healing me. That smacks of ingratitude, and I am never ungrateful. Have a cookie instead of me.”

He shoved a cookie into my open mouth before I could realize exactly what he was talking about.

I gasped and choked as a crumb went down the wrong way and then glared at him while I chewed and swallowed. Although it was the most delicious cookie I’d ever had, I’d never admit it. “I wasn’t going to bite you! I have perfect control around prey. I’d never bite an unwilling donor.”

He raised a dark gold brow. “I didn’t say I was unwilling, but the time it would take you to recover from being poisoned by my blood would have you missing the hot cocoa meet-and-greet. We can’t have that. Rumors will start that you were alone in the kitchen feeding on the angel, and then you’d have to feed on everyone all alone in extremely inappropriate circumstances. I’m the only man here who isn’t motivated by lust.” He wrinkled his brow as he studied me with those glowing blue eyes. “You are aware that touching a man’s bare chest is an enflaming agent that will engage any normal man’s desire, aren’t you?”

I blinked at him, humiliation and embarrassment mingling with self-hatred. Why did the jerk have to bring up something so terrible? Because he was terrible. Obviously. I bared my fangs at him. “I was trying to help you!”

He flashed a flirty smile. “I know. And I appreciate it. You’re the most useful woman I’ve ever met.”

“Useful!” I sputtered because didn’t he see my adorable chocolate librarian outfit? “Useful!?” I grabbed his arm and his shoulder, because this whole time he hadn’t used it, and the way it hung suggested a dislocation. I hissed at him as I yanked it out and around, popping it into the socket. I held it there, muttering the spells of healing while he stared back at me, never flinching from the pain. He seemed curious, like I was a weirdo who did all sorts of irrational, stupid things.

“You’re the idiot who came to a reality tv show directly from a war!” I hissed.

“Indeed. Do you want another cookie?”

I blinked and then let him feed me another piece of heavenly chocolate chip bliss. I accidentally scraped his finger with my fang and then the taste of him went through me like a jolt of lightning. I scrambled away from him, hands covering my mouth, horrified with the way his taste pulsed through me. The pleasure was so intense, it was like unboxing fifty glorious princess dresses. Also the cookie. I stared at him, gloriously golden, bare-chested, and absolutely delicious from the top of his golden head to his fingers. Hm. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to touch a shirtless angel even if he did have internal bleeding.

I turned and grabbed Mitt where he watched in the shadows. “Shirt.” He let me pull it off him, irritable yet resigned. I hurriedly pulled it over the angel’s head and then backed off, like he was a very dangerous angelic tome. He was worse than that. Heavenly fire. Dangerous, but different than any other danger I’d ever faced. Dangerously delicious.

“You shouldn’t smell so good after a war. You haven’t even showered.” I slapped my hands over my mouth again. Seriously? I said he smelled good? I needed to cut out my tongue!

He flashed me a smile as dangerous as it was glorious. “You must like the smell of war. Maybe you should go sometime.”

Mitt snorted. “Don’t give her ideas. And now that you’ve got a shirt, feel free to join the other potential candidates in the library.”

The angel looked at him curiously. “And you are?”

“Not a contestant.”

The angel raised a brow. “You’re her secret lover?”

Mitt huffed. “I see to the Princess’s nutritional needs.”

“Her personal blood bank?”

I rolled my eyes and started pushing the angel towards the door. He didn’t resist, just let me push him and his sculpted back out. He needed a thicker shirt. Five of them. “Don’t bother Mitt. He already has to put up with me. What, you think a princess wouldn’t have escorts? Go to the library and behave.”

I gave him one final shove out the door. He glanced at me over his shoulder, expression amused, gorgeous eyes dancing. “I’ll be an angel.” He winked at me and then strode off, whistling, like I hadn’t forcefully removed him from the space.

I sighed heavily once he’d turned the corner and went to collapse on the nearest chair.

“I knew he’d be bad, but I didn’t know he’d be this bad. Who comes on a reality TV show with cratered armor and internal bleeding?”

“And who makes internal bleeding look that good?” Mitt said drily. He bit a cookie, frowning as he analyzed the contents and then spat it out in the garbage. “They aren’t poisoned.”

I blinked at him. “Oh. I didn’t even think of that. I really am an idiot.”

“I mean, it is poisonous, but not to you. Did he put angel’s blood in these things? I think he did. Nasty.” He went to the sink and ran the water, putting his face under the faucet with his huge tongue lolling out so it could wash off all the crumbs.

“Why would he put angel’s blood in cookies? Is that normal?”

He straightened up and gave me a look. “I imagine he was trying to poison you. Happily, because you’re a born vampire and on the virtuous side, it wouldn’t have any effect. I heard that he liked to go to vampire dens and poison the residence as he ‘let’ them feed on him. Weird compulsion. Particularly bothering to bake poisoned cookies with a dislocated shoulder.”

We stared at each other until I looked around for Mini to give her feedback about the situation.

“She’s not here. She had some other business to attend to.” He frowned, as though he didn’t approve of whatever it was.

I beamed at him and leaned close. “She’s so adorable. We’ll miss her while she’s gone.”

He gave me a squint. “Sure. Who else will you objectify the males with?”

“Not you.” I cocked my head as I studied him and his bare chest. “Unless…”

“Not me,” he growled, disappearing back into the shadows.

I hesitated and then ate another cookie. If he was going to try and poison me with his blood, that meant they were mine.

Heavenly deliciousness. Without the angel to distract me, I could really focus on the baked goods. More like baked best. So, so good. Maybe it was the angelic blood that added a little euphoria to it.

By the time I’d eaten half of them, I was slightly dizzy, woozy, and blissed out, and then the angry camerawoman came in to gesture at me.

“Why aren’t you in the library?”

Somehow I didn’t roll my eyes. She’s the one who had kicked me out.

This segment would be live, so hopefully Pearly White didn’t eat anyone. I checked my dress, slung my basket over my arm, and then checked my teeth to make sure there wasn’t any chocolate or angel’s blood on them. Did that count as assassination attempt? Even if it had affected me, that much blood wouldn’t do much more than make a vampire sleepy and lethargic. Maybe he was just curious to see what his blood would do to me. You know, ‘what is a born vampire, anyway? And what risk is she to the rest of the world?’ that kind of thing. That’s probably what it was.

Why did my heart fall thinking that the odious angel would only be here to satisfy his curiosity about the kind of threat I was? It’s not like he’d ever come on a dating show to actually date and then marry me. Anyone who did that would be crazy, even crazier than baking cookies with a dislocated shoulder. The dislocation kind of explained why he hadn’t shaken the werewolf’s hand or agreed to do weights, though. He was here on a mission, and the mission was me.

In the library, everyone was in one of two groups, but it wasn’t grouped heavenly versus infernal. The incubus, the werewolf, and the angel were all in a group looking tense, I mean, the angel looked like a cat who’d eaten a canary, but the other two looked tense. In the other group, the devil was showing the layout of his most recent casino to the fairy and the elf, drawing with markers on a napkin. Seriously? Even in the meet-and-greet he was selling? Weren’t devils supposed to be more subtle than that? If he was being subtle, the selling would be a cover for something else. But what?

“Welcome, Princess! You look stunning,” Pearly White said, taking my hand and drawing me towards the devil’s group. “Who would like to get the lovely princess some hot cocoa?”

“I just got this cup,” the annoying angel said, pushing in to stand on my side opposite the siren. “It has teddy bears,” he said, holding up the cup and the adorable saucer. There were little pink and red hearts painted around the scalloped rim, so it really did match my dress beautifully. And the teddy bears on the mug were absolutely adorable. I wanted to smash the cup on the floor and punch Richard the Lion’s face, but instead I smiled sweetly and took it. If he thought he could poison me with his blood, he'd soon realize that he had to do it with his personality.

I sipped the hot liquid and then smiled at the gentlemen around me. “Mr. Fellicci, how do you like your chocolate?” I asked the fairy.

He smiled back at me, his heart in his eyes. “It tastes miraculously better since you entered the room. You must be an enchantress.”

“Don’t insult the poor girl,” Richard said, scowling at him. “Enchantresses are terrifying.”

Monterose ignored him, just kept beaming at me.

Right. I cleared my throat. “Thank you. It’s very good chocolate. Have you been getting a lot of hits on the duet?” Was that okay to say in a meet-and-greet, or would talking about our platforms be in as bad taste as the Devil drawing diagrams?

“It had a very good response from the viewers. I hope that you’ll allow me to duet with you again. Perhaps we could make it a regular feature?” His eyes twinkled, and sparkles around him sparkled. He was definitely creating those effects.

“I’d love that!” Of course I would, but he seemed so over-the-top fake, it was hard to take him seriously.

“He sings,” the devil said, pushing the elf towards me while his eyes glimmered with amusement. “He’s an elf. Elves always sing, and much better than fairies.”

“I’m not a singer,” the elf said quickly, looking embarrassed.

“But surely to please the lovely princess, you will pretend.”

The evil angel, who looked ridiculously good in Mitt’s shirt, frowned at the devil. “You sing as well. We all sing, or she wouldn’t have chosen us.”

“I didn’t technically choose you. I chose Lorien, the Cupid.” I kept my smile sweet, but it was an effort.

The fairy snorted a laugh and then covered it with the worst fake cough I’d ever heard. “Yes, a pity the cupid couldn’t make it. The scent of war doesn’t really belong in the library, does it?”

“Princess,” Mini said, pushing between the devil and the elf. “Could I have a word with you? It’s about a restoration project Sultry is obsessing about.”

I blinked at her. She’d chosen now, on live television to talk about restoration? The weirdness had me frozen when I should have moved. She raised a gun and and discharged it into my chest then leapt at me, pointed teeth bared, clenching a buzzing blade in her green fist.

I stumbled back from the force of the ball, pain flaring while the moment stretched out, slowing even though it was already too late to stop her. She’d shot me in the heart and now she was going to cut off my head so I couldn’t survive her attack.

She pulled up with an enormous sword coming out of her chest, heavenly flames flickering over the gold. In a moment she was covered in flames, screaming, consumed while Richard the Lion stabbed the sword in the floor so Mini stayed there, burning.

I gasped to protest and blood came up my throat. Right. This was probably going to kill me, and then I’d be a turned vampire, and which of my suitors would stay around for that?

Richard knelt over me, shoved his hand into my chest and pulled out the large, barbed bullet that had been in my heart. “Since you healed me without asking for my consent, I’ll do the same,” he murmured in a low voice that was everything delicious and forbidden.

Lines of gold spread over me, healing that fought back the blood pumping out of me. It was no good. I was losing blood too fast for the healing spell to kick in. It was only my life, why had he killed Mini?

He’d killed one of my only friends! I snarled and sank my teeth in his nearest limb, which was an arm, up near the elbow. He inhaled sharply, but didn’t stick a sword though me, just continued working on the spells like I wasn’t more than a mosquito.

My anger flared, that he thought so little of my threat, but then his blood really hit me, and heaven wasn’t a strong enough word for how good he tasted. So good. So sweet and alive, like all the love songs swirled into one elixir of perfect happiness. I didn’t notice the pain of healing when I could drink his life into myself. Such a sweet life. Such a beautiful soul. Such a shining, glorious, marvelous world where he was in it, and so was I.

Someone picked me off the floor and moved me to the couch by the fire, but I kept my jaws clenched around the angel’s arm, drinking in bliss, loving absolutely everything about my existence.

For a long time I was like that, curled on the couch drinking the angel’s arm, until the spells in me clicked, and my heart lurched like it was starting fresh. I wasn’t dead, and the angel killed Mini!

I spit out his arm and tried to sit up, but I was wrapped in his arms with golden soft feathers over both of us, like the softest, fluffiest, best duvet in the world. We were lying on a lovely red couch, now covered liberally in my blood. Happily, I was very good at getting blood out of things.

Around the room, quiet conversations continued, and there in the center, still burning with heavenly flame, was the sword. But nothing was left of Mini. My heart lurched, that time from emotional pain. She’d been a friend of mine. Why did she shoot me? And why did the angel kill her?

Said angel stood up, bringing me to my own feet. “It’s been a pleasure,” he said, giving me a smirk that had me wanting to rip his face off and throw it into the fire. Then he left me, pulled his sword out of the floor, extinguishing the flames, and then walking out, wings still fluffy and delicious, framing his golden head.

Chapter

Six

“Ihate angels,” I muttered to Mitt as I scowled at the ruined dress, days after the incident. There was no coming back from the gaping wound in the bodice. Maybe I could cut off the top and keep the pretty chocolate and pink scallop on the bottom, except now it was stained with so much blood. It matched the cocoa cup. The one that had shattered as I fell.

“He kept you alive,” Mitt growled. “Pity he killed Mini, or we could have found out who hired her.”

I looked up at him, hesitating because I had an idea what he was going to say. “How would you do that?”

His voice was flat, golden eyes burning with rage. “Torture. She betrayed us. She played love until I became blind to her true motives. She’s lucky she’s dead.”

My stomach lurched. Had her crush on Mitt been a lie this whole time? “But to attack me on live television? She must have had nothing to lose, or she would have done it subtly and made it look like an accident. She’s a goblin. She should have done it better than that. It’s almost like she didn’t really want me to die, not really.”

He hmphed and turned. He’d been grumpier than usual ever since the cocoa fever dream. I’d been more cold and achy. During the last week, I’d gone on a walk with each of the contestants, down a nice, protected path with Mitt directly behind me, but each conversation had been stilted. The angel hadn’t bothered talking. What could he have to say after killing my friend? And cuddling me on a couch in front of the fire for the whole world to see?

Sunrae was the only one to ask, Are you okay? Are you sick from his blood? I’ve never been so terrified! Don’t die, okay?

And then she posted a picture of the cutest broccoli cake, giving the broccoli guy on top a smile like she was trying to cheer me up. It was different from her usual background, wood counter instead of marble. Maybe she’d given up on pastry. Marble was best for pastry, or so everyone said.

The rest of the world was telling me how hot Richard the Lion was and sharing video clips of him carrying me to the couch with my face in his arm, all hyped about the most romantic moment in the history of television. Why did he look so good? I couldn’t go online, and my own platform had started to feel like it had nothing to do with pastel princess cuteness, and everything to do with other hot guys. Who cared about princess dresses when we had death, blood, and romance? I shouldn’t have attacked Richard like that in public. It was too stupid of me, too goth vampire core instead of pastel princess. Also, and more importantly, I should have stopped Mini instead of being paralyzed because she was my friend. I didn’t get to have friends. Not really. I was the ward of someone terrifying, so people didn’t bother me except for now when everyone was trying to kill me, but we weren’t friends. Even Sultry looked at me more as an assistant than a friend.

It was a good thing Sunrae kept her distance or we wouldn’t be real friends either.

I sniffled and tried to keep it together. At least today was the first voting day, and I’d get to vote the angel off and never see him again. Every time I saw him it was like a slap of my own idiocy. It hit hard.

I shoved the ruined dress in the bottom of the garbage can and went back to the closet, shoulders back and spine straight. After tonight, I’d never have to see him again. Eventually, people would forget about that moment of blood and stupidity.

I dressed in a sparkly gown, pink, with lace trim, the sleeves off my shoulders framing them. I put on diamonds—necklace, tiara, bracelets—lots and lots of diamonds. For the past fifty years, that’s what I got for my birthday from my vampire father. Diamonds because that’s what vampires were supposed to be. Eternal, dead, and lifeless. But so beautiful.

I should sell everything after this show and then disappear in the woods with my kittens. They were the only happy things in my life. All else was despair and misery. I sniffled again before I went to work on my perfectly pastel princess makeup.

Finally, it was time to head towards the monstrous castle I’d been avoiding all week.

At the door, I stopped and stared at the angel. She was tall, broad-shouldered, chapped-cheeked like she’d spent five weeks camping somewhere really dry and windy. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a sensible ponytail, and she wore light armor.

“The angels came after the show to protect their own,” Mitt growled.

I beamed at her. “So glad you can protect Richard. He’s dangerously annoying. Someone’s bound to kill him sooner or later.” I bit my lip. I shouldn’t have said that.

She only nodded. Her voice was low and monotone. “If he wasn’t so difficult to kill, he’d already be dead. Did he poison you with his blood? He likes to do that.” She shook her head, disapproving. “He wishes he could be fallen, but he’s not tempted by any of the usual vices. He should just become what he was born to be instead of fighting against it.”

“Um. Right.” Shouldn’t she have more loyalty towards him instead of gossiping about him behind his back? Then again, he’d probably done something unforgivable, like kill her friend and make a spectacle of it on live TV. “Thanks for being here!”

She gave me an angelic smile. “Of course. I’m actually here to protect you, not him. He doesn’t need protection. Or he’d already be dead.”

Awkward. “Oh. Thanks. I hope you’re getting enough to eat. Mitt here’s really great at making things people like to eat, even if it’s something across the spectrum, like angelic to his werewolf.”

The woman looked at Mitt behind me, seeing him in the shadows. She nodded. “I would appreciate it, when you aren’t protecting the princess. The food here is all nutritionally deficient.”

“They’re focused on looks instead of substance,” Mitt said, the least growly he’d been in a week.

Did he like her? I glanced at him and then saw the way he was eying her light armor. No, he liked that she was here to protect me. Angels like her were incorruptible. He almost trusted her. Not that angels couldn’t fall, but they were much less likely than a goblin who started half-corrupt.

My chest panged as I went past them into the shadows of the castle corridor. The cameras were there, videoing my entrance. The two guards fell in behind me, framing me in my sparkles. Look at me! So sparkly, so pretty, so idiotic! I walked into the grand hall, the two staircases lined with my suitors, the red carpet under their feet reminding me of the velvet couch in the library. I’d never gone back to get the blood out.

On the table between the curve of the two staircases, was a large, glass-cut vase, filled with red and white roses. I’d gotten the memo. I would give a red rose to the contestant I liked best, and a white rose to the one I liked least. Richard was the top on the right side, behind the werewolf and the fairy. On the left were the elf, the incubus, and the devil.

The devil grinned at me like I was playing into his hands. Pity I couldn’t vote him off along with the angel. I’d give the red rose to the fairy, and the white to the angel. That way I didn’t have to go around.

I stood there while Pearly White greeted the audience and then I took a white rose and a red one out of the vase. It was deathly quiet as I turned and walked towards the stairs. My heart beat faster and faster as I put my foot on the first step, up, and up, and up, until I reached the fairy, Monterose Fellicci. I hesitated and then handed him the red rose, before passing him and Rafe to offer Richard the white one.

Pearly White and the camera people gasped. Were we shocked that I’d vote off the person who had saved my life so romantically? I didn’t care. This was my life, not a show! Richard took the rose with a slight incline of his perfect head, mischief in his blue eyes, and then I turned and walked back down, as stately as I could, heart pounding so fast in my chest, I felt like it was going to break my ribcage.

“Well, Princess! That was unexpected. Why did you vote off the angel who saved you?” Pearly White asked, shifting us so the cameras could get a good line on my face.

“He never should have been here. I feel bad for him, stuck on a dating show when he’s not the type of angel who would ever marry someone who didn’t share his angelic blood. I appreciate him saving my life, but I only want serious contestants on here. I’ll always be grateful for what he did,” when I wasn’t hating him for killing Mini, “But it’s time to face reality.”

“Ah. Well, you’ve heard the princess!” Pearly said, turning full on the camera with his disturbing smile. “Now it’s your turn to be heard. Audience votes count for sixty-five percent of the results, so make your votes count! We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors.” He winked at the camera, and then it was my turn to grab his arm.

“What do you mean, the audience votes count for sixty-five percent of results!? This is my life! The audience doesn’t get to choose my life for me!”

He looked down at my hand and then back at my face. “It was in the contract you signed. You didn’t read it carefully enough, but people never do. You should ask the Devil what other surprises are in the fine print. Devils always read the contracts.” He took my wrist like it was a slimy snake, removed it from his arm and turned to yell at a camerawoman.

I stood there, feeling all nauseous and shivery until the devil came up, giving me a delighted smile.

“Princess. It is a pity about the fine print, but Pearly White’s contracts are extremely fine. Did you know that he’s the sole profiteer of this show? That was in his fine print. You have rights to share your bits on your own platform, as well as the other contestants, or they wouldn’t be on.”

“Yes, I did check that part. The voting section was very convoluted, so I skimmed.”

“You’ve learned so much from this little debacle. I take it you’ll never skim something before you sign again.”

His dark eyes danced with amusement before he turned and took a glass of champagne off a tray, sipping it while he returned to his place on the stairs.

Rafe the wolf laughed loud enough to get my attention while he sneered and pointed at the angel standing on the steps above him.

“She rejected you! I knew she would. You’re just a virginal angel who doesn’t know what a woman wants.”

Excuse me? Who said that? And even if Richard was vile, I’d never talk about his personal life like that.

“She’s a virgin,” the fairy said, sniffing suspiciously at the red rose. “Haven’t you seen the way she reacts around Banus? Or rather doesn’t react.”

I really didn’t want to hear this conversation. Except it was good to know what they thought of me, and they weren’t keeping their voices down low enough that a vampire wouldn’t be able to hear them.

I tried not to notice the way Rafe’s lip curled as he looked at me in a way that was absolutely objectifying. How could they talk like that right in front of me? It made me wonder what they said about me when I wasn’t there.

Richard cuffed the wolf on the back of the head. “So sorry,” he said as he tucked the white rose behind his ear. “Your head was in the way of my elbow.”

Rafe scowled at him, but kept his snarling to a minimum.

“Smiles, everyone, except the angel, you can look devastated. More devastation, less boredom! You’re hopeless. Five, four, three…” Pearly White beamed at the camera. “And we’re back! After tallying the final votes, we have the results in. Staying on the show, we have Monterose Fellicci, the princess’s pick. Second, we have Banus, the charming incubus who proved his excellent conversation skills during this week’s romantic stroll. Also staying is the wolf with the most, Hughenot Raferty, whose charm is as unmistakable as his pectorals.”

Pearly summoned a deathly serious expression. “Now, ladies and gentlemen, for the final count. Who’s going home? Is it the Elf, who sadly tends to blend into the woodwork, the devil who must miss his casinos he talks about them so much, or is it the angel, the one who saved her, but the one our princess rejected? Do you think she has a chance to truly win his heart in spite of his angelic nature?”

His smile became diabolical as he opened an envelope that I could clearly see was blank. “Leaving us this week is the Devil of Wonderland! Thank you so much for coming on our show. Staying on another week is Richard the Lion, and Zander Spinnera. Now the devil will dance with our princess, one last chance to say goodbye.”

The devil’s expression remained amused as he offered me his hand and I let him take me on a spin around the grand hall.

“You’re happy to be going home,” I said, examining his features.

His smile sharpened. “Indeed.”

“Why did you come here in the first place? You were too obvious to actually be peddling your casinos. What do you really want?”

He raised a brow. “Honestly? You wouldn’t believe it.” He leaned close and murmured, “I’m trying to find my soul’s mate.”

I blinked at him. “You’re right. I don’t believe that. You honestly came here thinking that I’d be your soulmate?”

“Not you. I’m getting exposure so my soul’s mate can find me and rescue me from the misery of my existence.”

I laughed. “That’s funny.”

His smile was absolutely charming. “Hilarious. I laugh myself to sleep every night. You see, there was a curse. I won’t bother you with the details, but it seems I’ll die if I don’t find my soul’s mate soon.”

I stopped laughing. “You’re serious.”

“Unfortunately. Of course, I don’t take dying very seriously, so it’s not as bleak as it could be. Enjoy your time playing with angels. There’s something so compelling about the two of you. I know that I’m going to be tuning in to see how things develop.”

He spun me under his arm and then danced so well and so elaborately that I had to put all of my focus on his lead so I didn’t fall over and knock myself unconscious. It was disastrous enough that the angel wasn’t going home. I didn’t need a concussion to go along with it.

The camera panned the men. After Pearly White’s, “Until next week!” the music cut off suddenly.

The devil frowned, but brought us to a stop. “He’s terribly abrupt. And he complains about us not being able to show appropriate emotion when he’s eternally cutting every moment short. I suppose I’d best be on my way. Stay safe, Princess. And enjoy your life as long as you have it.” He winked, put a top hat on his head that he hadn’t been wearing and strode out of the hall, throwing the double doors wide as he went with one final lash of his forked tail before he vanished in a cloud of smoke.

“He wanted to be voted off, or he would have saved some of that drama for the audience,” Richard the Lion said, directly behind my shoulder.

I stiffened up before I turned slowly to look up at him. “Certainly. You give the audience all the drama and never save anything for yourself.”

His lips twitched as he brushed the white rose across them, white silk against pink satin. “On the contrary, princess. I have more drama than you could ever dream of. Pray you never live to see such drama.” He brushed the white rose over my cheek, velvet petals sending a shiver through me before he turned and walked away.

“If you actually want him off the show, you can’t look at him like that,” Monterose the fairy said, dragging my attention off the retreating angel. He frowned at me, his accent not as strong as it usually was. “You can’t look at him with stars in your eyes. Love is a play. You play who you love. Yes?”

I flashed a smile at him while my stomach twisted from embarrassment. “Thank you. I’ll keep the stars in the sky where they belong. When would you like to do another duet with me?”

“Ah, but I couldn’t until all the other gentlemen have sung. It wouldn’t be fair.” He edged away from me, all smiles, the rose pinned to his lapel.

My heart sank. He didn’t really like me, or he’d jump at the chance to do a duet. I swallowed hard and held onto my smile. “I suppose that will be next week’s contest.”

His eyes sparkled magically. “I believe that’s baking. Such a charming idea.” He bowed, turned and disappeared, like he didn’t want me to get too close. Also like he had things to post on his platform. Maybe he’d do a solo about how he longed for my love. That would get a lot of hits.

I went outside and then sat down on the steps, the stars above mocking me. The stars were beautiful, but not as beautiful as the angel. Who was staying for at least another week. It wasn’t enough for me to want him to go. Somehow I had to convince the audience that’s what they wanted. And I had to do it without getting killed. Or killing him. That would be the most difficult thing of all.

Chapter

Seven

Pearly White flashed his smile at the camera from his place in the kitchen near the door, so you could see all the contestants behind him at the counters or table. “And now for the baking competition! Who will delight our princess’s tastebuds? Hm? They say the way to a woman’s heart is through the stomach. Will it be our werewolf, Hughenot Raferty, and his way with lean meatcakes…” The camera panned to the place where Rafe was tenderizing steak with a spiked mallet. “Or will the incubus Banus Jones steal the day with his molten lava cake?” The camera panned to Banus’ mixing batter in a bowl looking all sensual and delectable. Whatever cake he made, he’d get voted as being most delicious.

“Or will the fairy, Monterose Fellicci with his spun sugar delights win another red rose from our princess?” The camera panned to the fairy who had a canister of sugar in one hand and a mixer in the other. His smile was romantic and sultry, like he was about to burst into song. “Or will our elf Zander Spinnera create a vegan masterpiece tempting enough to outdo all the rest?”

The silver-haired elf smiled and added, “It’s also gluten and sugar free.” It’s like he was trying to lose.

Pearly White backed away from the elf without giving him another look. The camera panned over to the angel where he worked smashing strawberries in a saucepan. “And the rejected angel, can he show the world he’s more than a soldier? Does he have a heart that can love?”

Richard gave Pearly White a devastating smile, the sun coming through the window to catch his hair like a halo. “Baking doesn’t take heart, just baking powder. Also, for those who are unaware, six months is the max shelf life for optimal rise. So clear out your cabinets regularly. Only you can prevent fallen angel cakes.” He winked and my heart fluttered stupidly.

The camera swung over to me where I sat on a stool in my fluffy pink dress, as fluffy as pink buttercream frosting. I smiled brightly and tried not to look like I cared. But to be honest, the angel was the only one who looked like he knew what he was doing, and his forearms while he mixed his batter or smashed his berries were irresistible. Particularly the left one. The one I’d buried my face into as I drank his blood.

I forced myself to look around at the other men. Banus was so attractive and capable looking, but then he dropped his batter-covered spoon on the floor, splashing his pants and Rafe’s legs. The werewolf was wearing shorts that showed off his bare calves, which he also must keep waxed. For a werewolf he was an absolute freak.

“Watch yourself, Inky!” Rafe snapped, then flashed a sharp smile at the camera.

I should take up crochet so I had something to do in the middle of the kitchen while everyone moved around with so much testosterone in that small space. Not that the kitchen was small, but the angel alone took up most of it with his energy. The elf hummed as he worked on the other side of Banus, serenity etched on his face as he sniffed a sprig of mint and then added it to his bowl. Was he even trying to make something edible?

The fairy was kind of hilarious, because every movement was a dramatic gesture as he flung sugar and nuts, his facial expression blissed out and sultry, like he was in an opera about cake baking, not actually doing it. His bowl had lumps of sugar studded with nuts and fruit, but nothing that looked like the beginnings of anything edible.

The werewolf was wrapping strips of bacon around a slab of meat, flexing his arms and moving just so for the camera. Meat cake? Really? The question was if he’d actually cook it. I didn’t like raw meat. Blood wasn’t my favorite, either, but raw meat? Ugh.

The angel sifted flour and the light shone, picking up the specks of white surrounding him like mystical clouds. He glanced up and caught me staring. I jumped and quickly looked at Banus. Yes. He was so hot. Why was he using a fork to break up his chocolate? He looked good, but what was he doing? Did he have any idea what a molten lava cake was supposed to actually be?

My gaze inevitably found its way back to the angel who mixed and beat and poured like he’d been a professional baker in another life. Once again he caught me staring, and once again I tried to look at someone else. Seriously though, why wasn’t he chopping things with his sword and looking like an arrogant idiot? He looked like an arrogant professional which I apparently found incredibly attractive.

For the rest of the hour I tried to watch the other contestants, but it was glaringly obvious that there was only one competent baker in the bunch. And I liked watching competent bakers. So would the audience if the way the camera focused on Richard was any indication.

When the bell rang, time up, I hopped off the stool, nerves raw just from trying to not stare at the angel.

“Well, Princess,” Pearly White said, holding out his arm. “Shall we adjourn to the parlor? I’d like to get your thoughts on the various contestants while they set up their treats for you.”

I put my hand on his arm only for a second before he shook it off and nodded at the camerawoman.

“Set her up on the chair next to the fireplace. She looks good with flames. Particularly heavenly ones, but of course those would devour her as well as anyone else. And Princess,” Pearly White said, fixing a stern look at me. “Try not to make your preference for the angel so completely obvious, hm?”

Humiliation. Was anyone else listening? Everyone was listening, including the angel. I walked out of the room stiffly, because if I moved a muscle, I’d explode! How dare that Siren say something so obviously wrong? Just because I liked to watch a good baker didn’t mean I liked to watch the angel. I just needed better contestants. Everyone had obviously lied about their love of baking on their form. Except for Richard, but he didn’t even fill out the form! So annoying.

I followed the camerawoman to the parlor and the chair, but it faced a red velvet couch exactly like the one I’d bled out on. I pressed my hand to my heart. It was still tender, even after all the healing spells and my own regeneration. I’d come so close to dying, and Mini was gone. All those hours I spent teaching her how to use eye shadow so it accented instead of overwhelmed. A traitor. Why did she do it? Who hired her? What was the price of my life, of our friendship?

“Four, three…” Pearly White flashed a smile as he sat on the fireplace ledge, so the shot was of us with the flames between. “So, Princess, what do you think of the contestants in the kitchen? I know you put cooking as only second to musical ability on your love list.”

Love list? There hadn’t ever been a love list. I smiled hard. “Cooking is important, but who needs to know how to bake when you can order in?”

He laughed a wicked laugh and leaned closer. “Several of these men would love to order in with you. Tell me your thoughts on these gentlemen. Out of the two wicked lads, the wolf and the incubus, who do you find more irresistible?”

The werewolf waxed his legs. I kept my smile, but it was difficult. “It’s hard to say. They’re both so charming. The werewolf is so raw and untamed, but the incubus seems so sweet. You know, just because people are incubus or succubus doesn’t mean that they don’t have personalities beyond the obvious sex appeal. I’d love to get to know Banus better.”

He nodded, sympathy written on his face. “Indeed. And who wouldn’t? Now let’s talk about the heavenly brothers. Speaking of hard to get to know, the elf doesn’t stand out very much. You met Monterose Fellicci before the show, so he has the advantage, and his personality is very outgoing, but how can we draw out Zander so you and the audience can really get to know him?”

I held onto my smile. “I would love to have a gardening class by Zander, where he can teach us about all the plants in the garden. I feel like that might make him feel more confident and like he belongs here. Because he does. He’s a really great guy. I can’t wait to do the duet next week with him. Maybe we can spend time in the garden between now and then.”

“Excellent idea, Princess. Now, what everyone wants to hear from you, is how you feel about the angel. I know you were expecting a cupid, someone more interested in love, but you got the Lion, the HOST’s Commander’s own son. You haven’t been posting about it, and everyone needs to know the details. Why did you reject him after he saved you? Did something happen offscreen to earn your dislike, or are your harboring secret feelings that you fear he can never return?”

Kill me now. Just kill me. I smoothed my dress down while I tried to hang onto my smile. “Such a great question, Pearly White. I guess it comes down to the fact that…” My mind went blank. Mini died. I almost bled out on a couch exactly like the one behind the camerawoman. Someone wanted me dead because I was related to my father, and I was here on a dating show just because I wanted to live a happy life with pretty dresses in a cottage and never translate a dead language again. What was the point of any of it?

“There, there,” Pearly said, patting my hand. “I see that your emotions are too close to the surface to try and speak. Finding love can be a terrifying thing, particularly when you don’t know how he feels.” His sympathy face morphed into happy exuberance. “And now here come the contestants with their creations!”

The camera panned over to the doorway where the line of men stood holding plates with their ‘creations.’ Did the angel hear that last part? Mortified didn’t encapsulate the depths of humiliation I felt. I wasn’t in love with him! I hated him! Obviously. He killed my friend. So Mitt didn’t get to torture her.

My stomach twisted into knots, but I held onto my smile as Pearly White gestured Rafe to come over. The werewolf came with a cocky smirk, holding out a white plate with a black lump in the center. So he did cook it. Very, very well.

“Wow! That looks amazing!” I said brightly. Amazingly inedible.

Rafe smirked and then sniffed and rubbed his jaw. “Yeah. I made that,” he said all cocky.

My mind raced trying to think of something nice to say. I had it! “It’s one of those Euro charred dishes that you peel out of the blackened crust to unveil the tender morsel inside. Right?” I beamed brightly as I took the plate and used my claws to slash though the black and crumbling ash to the tiny bit of raw flesh in the middle. So I’d be eating raw meat after all. Yay. I reached towards the lump of red goo when a knife came down, slicing it neatly in the center.

“Allow me,” Richard said as he stabbed one half with his knife and popped it in his mouth.

I stared at him, shocked and appalled. “What are you doing?”

He swallowed and flashed me a smile. “Checking for poison, princess. Go ahead. Enjoy your…” He wrinkled his nose and gestured at the remaining lump of raw meat.

I stared at him, looked at Pearly White and his ebullient smile, like everything was going according to plan, and then Rafe who was glowering at the angel. I wasn’t going to cause a fuss and make this whole thing last longer than it had to.

“Right. Thank you.” I picked up the piece of raw meat and put it in my mouth. Ew. It was raw, but still tasted like ashes. “Mm,” I said as I chewed. I struggled to not show how much I wanted to gag, choked it down, and then flashed Rafe a smile. “So unique. So raw and wild. Thank you for putting so much effort into this.”

He gave me a cocky smirk and then took my hand and pressed a kiss to my skin, adding tongue that left a trail of saliva. Werewolf saliva. Someone burn me. Would I have to kiss that tongue? Shudder.

Smile! Don’t show how close you are to vomiting! My smile teetered, but I held onto it with great will.

“And our next contestant, Monterose Fellicci, and his sugared masterpiece!” Pearly White declared.

While the camera panned, I hastily wiped my hand off on my dress. Now I had to burn the dress.

The fairy came over with exaggerated strides, chest puffed out, wings trailing sparkles as he held out a pile of sugar with nuts and berries sticking out. Wow.

“Allow me,” Richard said, taking a spoonful of the sugar stuff and putting it in his mouth. His reaction was a slight shudder before he gestured the sugar plate to me.

Monterose looked offended. “As if I could ever harm my precious blossom, but for the sake of your safety, we must take all precautions.” He dropped to his knees, holding the plate up, shoulders tilted so he could look at me over one of them, head cocked, eyes half-lidded, like he were about to break into a suicidal love song. But he’d turned down doing another duet with me.

I smiled, took a spoonful of sugar with a raspberry, and put it in my mouth. Ugh. It was almost as bad as the werewolf’s. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, maybe if the sugar’s baked into something. I swallowed and beamed at the fairy while my stomach roiled.

A baking competition was the worst idea I’d ever had. This was going to kill me.

I managed to say, “Thank you. It’s absolutely remarkable how you captured the pure spirit of nuts and berries.” And nausea.

“And next we have Zander’s beautiful creation.” Pearly White gestured at the elf’s salad, only he’d baked it. Baked salad. I looked at the vile angel, hoping the gorgeous creature would eat a lot of it.

He gave me a slight brow raise while his blue eyes twinkled with amusement he didn’t show on his mouth, and then took a forkful, choked it down and then nodded. “Probably won’t kill you,” he murmured so only I could hear.

“Thank you,” I said, focusing my smile on the shy elf instead of the angel. I took a forkful of partially wilted, partially crunchy greens. Honestly, it wasn’t too bad. Not nearly as vile as the first two.

“So creative!” I said once I could speak. “So unique! With the fresh greens and crunch of baked kale.”

Pearly White cleared his throat. “And next up we have Banus Jones, our resident incubus, and his molten lava chocolate cake!”

It was raw batter until Banus lit it on fire. It didn’t burn long until Banus threw some alcohol on top, and then it whooshed into a good flame before dying out almost immediately.

We all stared at the blackened raw dough while Banus winced. “That’s not quite how it was supposed to go.”

“Glorious presentation,” Richard said arrogantly, then dipped a spoon into the mixture and raised it to his lips. It touched his tongue and then he spat it out, glaring at the incubus. His voice was ice and iron. Death and destruction. “You tried to poison the princess. You’ll die for that.” He drew his sword while his face started turning purple.

Banus raised his hands, stepping away. “I didn’t! I’m a pacifist! I haven’t killed for years, and I’m certainly not breaking my streak with a sweet, if rather silly female.”

That was me? Sweet and silly? I guess it could be worse. He didn’t talk about my virginity. Richard’s face was turning blue. I grabbed the plate of dough and ran an analyzer spell to check the contents. Curing Richard was the priority, however horrible I personally found him.

The dough turned the color of moldy cheese and I knew. “Death knell,” I whispered, then stared in horror at the angel. Lines of purple-black were running down his neck towards his heart. I grabbed his throat, pricking his veins with my claws, bleeding out the poison everywhere I saw the lines of death.

Richard looked at me, pretty blue eyes wide, like he was more shocked to find us in such close proximity than that he’d been poisoned.

His poisoned blood ran over my hands and onto my pretty pink skirt. Another one ruined.

Mitt came out of the shadows and tied Banus’s hands shoving him onto the couch while the incubus looked smoldering, seductive, and confused.

Rafe looked amused, the Fairy looked vaguely horrified, and the elf…

He was looking at me with something in his eyes that made me realize that he’d never quite met my gaze before. I inhaled deeply and smelled the deathknell on him. Left breast pocket. And he’d been right next to Banus.

“Mitt, you have the wrong one,” I whispered, still bleeding the angel all over my skirt.

Zander Spinnera moved like smoke on water, an echo of movement that ended with a poisoned dagger through my chest. Happily, Mitt had a heads up this time and managed to turn the knife aside and push back the elf. Not an elf. Elves didn’t move like that with too many joints and too many claws.

“Pardon me, but I’d hate to singe you,” Richard said, frowning at me before he stepped back and then whorls of heavenly fire swirled under and over his skin, leaving him naked, but wearing fire from the waist down. He’d burned the poison. Right. You could do that if you were an angel with extremely potent blood. The flames went out while he grabbed the assassin, holding him while Mitt struggled to disarm him. We needed to take someone live so we could torture the truth out of them.

I felt nauseous and fell back into my chair, knocking the poisoned dish onto the floor where it shattered. I didn’t want to torture the elf who wasn’t an elf. What had happened to the real Zander Spinnera? Was he dead just so this shape-shifting monster could get close enough to kill me?

Richard and Mitt finally got the monster under control, and then with a snarl at me, the creature snapped its teeth, and almost instantly died. The glamour or whatever magic hid his true self melted away, leaving him a mess of shadows and angles, like he’d been carved from glass, translucent skin, and no hair. The silver wig was on the floor next to the molten lava cake like a swathe of seaweed mixed with glass and mud.

“Well!” Pearly White said, moving so the camera had to follow him and not focus on the body on the floor. “The path of love never did run smooth. We’ll be back after this message to declare the winner of the big bake off!”

The camera turned off and Pearly White scowled at the body. “Can you move him before he messes up the rug?”

“How can we have a winner when one of the contestants was a murderer?” Monterose demanded, wings fluttering in visible distress. He’d never tried to help stop the killer or identify the poison. Fairies were supposed to be pretty good healers, but he hadn’t even tried. I was starting to seriously dislike him.

“And the angel didn’t get to have his turn,” Rafe said, glancing at Richard who was still wearing flame pants and looking like… He looked like a golden statue brought to life, gleaming, glowing, freshly washed in heavenly flames. And I’d tried to drain his blood like a medieval doctor. I just needed some leeches to be really legit.

I took the plate off the side table where Richard had put his cupcake. Strawberry froth was on top of the cute little thing. It didn’t look like the most amazing thing in the world, but every swirl of frosting was perfectly peaked, and it smelled edible.

I peeled back the wrapper. Maybe it would kill me, but I was feeling like that was my best option. I froze as the flavors spilled over my tongue. Not just vanilla and fresh strawberry with something else that made my toes curl, but the texture was so delectable, moist crumb, and creamy cream cheese strawberry swirl, melting and fresh.

I moaned and then straightened up, putting the cupcake back on the plate with that bite out of it, feeling guilty. “I need to lie down,” I announced. “I’m broken-hearted about Zander’s betrayal. Or maybe it was never Zander. What happened to my sweet elf?” I tried to look dramatic and delicate as I hurried out, taking a page from the fairy. Pearly White could wrap up that disaster all by himself. I had poisoned angel blood to wash out of my dress.

Chapter

Eight

Iwas in the kitchen, washing my skirt in the sink when Richard leaned on the counter next to me and held out a cupcake.

“We should talk,” he said.

I gave him a stiff smile. “Would you like me to prepare a proper ancient cure-all after your poisoning? I might be able to really hurt you.”

His smile positively glimmered. He was wearing pants. That was good. He grabbed an apple and bit into it. He chewed and swallowed while I focused on my specked skirt. “Any idea who’s behind the assassination attempts?”

“No.” I didn’t look at him.

“Do you know what that thing was, pretending to be Zander?”

“No.” I wouldn’t ever look at him again. After his heroic rescue, no way the audience would let me vote him off. Sigh.

“One word you could use, probably the most relevant is: expensive. And the goblin worked for the Scholar, right? That means someone who could buy or manipulate practically anyone.”

“Yes, all wealthy and influential people despise my birth father or the Scholar or both. I try not to take it personally, but it’s hard when people keep dying.” I scrubbed the skirt too hard, and it went down into the sudsy water, splashing more water all over me in my white petticoat.

He spoke languidly, so close to me. “Assassins keep dying. I try not to think of them as people.”

I turned to glare at him. His eyes were bright, not nearly as apathetic as he sounded. I elbowed him away before I drained the water. “I taught Mini how to use eye shadow. She had a crush on Mitt for two years that I was trying to help her with. But no, I can see how she wasn’t a person.” He was such a jerk! Seriously, how could anyone be so horrible?

His eyes softened and he shook his head. “Can I tell you a secret?”

I blinked at him. About assassins? About Mini? What did he know? “Can I stop you?” I stammered, mouth suddenly dry.

He gave me a full smile that was so gloriously golden I wanted to bite it. “I’m SunRae.”

I froze, undone for the second time today. “SunRae? What?”

He patted my shoulder, giving me a flash of warmth and comfort before he pulled away with a broad smile. “I’m a serial hobbyist. I get bored and take up something new. It never lasts, but I started baking for Vesper, that’s my Pegasus, Vesper, because we were having a rough time. Not sure if you know how absolutely bull-headed and obnoxious Pegasus’s are, but he gives me a run for my money.” He flashed a grin and showed a dimple in his cheek. “So I baked for him, because it’s bonding to cook for your pets. Have you cooked for your kittens yet? I can help you if you’d like.”

I stared at him, heart pounding faster and faster. Richard the Lion was SunRae? I nodded slowly. “That explains the counter in the photo. It explains literally nothing else. You didn’t dispose of her, did you?” My heart constricted at the thought.

He shrugged and leaned heavily against the counter, head cocked. “You followed my LionFire account five years ago. I make a point to reciprocate to everyone who follows me. It’s a matter of intel. Because if you want to kill someone or destroy their organization the first step is to follow them. I’ve unrooted some nice conspiracies that way. I couldn’t follow you back because your account was so steeped in camouflaging magic. So I worked through all those layers of spells until I uncovered the pastel princess. And there you were, the Scholar’s ward. Mystery solved. You were hidden by him for your protection. That’s why you had four followers, all people you already knew and he approved of. Your content’s awesome. You deserve all the followers, but I get him trying to protect you.” He took another large bite of the red apple while I stared at him.

He was SunRae all along? And also, the Scholar had blocked my account for that long? I was almost fifty! When would he stop treating me like a child? But that wasn’t as important as SunRae in the flesh, in my kitchen, eating an apple. I’d spent five years texting ridiculous nonsense with the angel everyone despised? He’d said we couldn’t meet because of his personality issues.

I started giggling.

He smiled back at me, charming and cheerful.

I pointed at him. “You really do have the worst personality. But I love you anyway.” I beamed at him while my heart pounded harder and harder. I was going to squeal. “Sunrae?! Really? It’s you!? Eeee!” I threw my arms around him and squeezed him as tight as I could.

He creaked because I was channeling too much vampire.

I pulled away, beaming at him, a real smile I could feel down to my toes, which I was bouncing on. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to crush you. And after you were poisoned! That’s why you don’t want me to die, because we’re friends! And you don’t want to kill me!” I frowned at a sudden thought. “Although you might change your mind if someone gave you an offer you couldn’t refuse. What would it take for you to kill me? Someone could threaten your family, your sister or father. Never mind. We won’t worry about that. You could really help me bake something for my kitties? You haven’t met them. I haven’t come up with names because I don’t want to mess up. I’m thinking stormy for the gray one, but is that too basic? And Tiger for the orange stripes, but that’s obviously too basic, but still, that’s what I think when I pick him up. And the black one…” I winced. “Blackie. Why can’t I think of good names? Like Vesper is so good! Oh! Can I meet your horse? Can I call him a horse or will he bite me? I probably won’t mind if he does. He’s so pretty. Do you have to brush him to keep him so shiny, or do you actually use heavenly fire?”

I bounced, holding onto his arms and beaming up at him. SunRae was here, and I thought she’d been worried about the assassins, but it was him all along. “You really are crazy, being a closet animal baker this whole time you’re not off fighting wars and whatever. Could Lorien the Cupid really not make it, or did you want to come because you’re better at keeping people alive?”

He wrinkled his nose. “No, Lorien’s fine at keeping people alive, but he just flaked. Went chasing after this weapon in the middle east from the crusades.”

I beamed at him. “Too bad. He’s super pretty.”

He nodded, agreeably. “Super. And he’s all about the romance, so even if the two of you didn’t hit it off, he could help you with whoever else you wanted to end up with. He’s good at plotting that kind of thing, secret assignations, not to be mistaken for assassinations, which we’re definitely trying to stay away from. So, you don’t have any idea who could be behind it all?” He leaned closer, eyes intent, serious about getting to the bottom of these assassinations.

I shrugged. “You probably know more of the world’s evil power players than I do. The thing is that I’m not really valuable to the Scholar or the Vampire King. If I was killed, I don’t see how that would actually hurt either one of them. Other than maybe a hit to the ego.” I shouldn’t say that to someone, but if he was SunRae, then he’d already heard all of my personal ramblings over the past five years.

He frowned all the way to his warm blue eyes. “The Scholar would definitely miss you.”

I shrugged. “He’d feel guilty for not doing his duty, but he’s busy with his ancient languages and the laboratory and Libby. I don’t mind. It’s just that…” I leaned closer to him and lowered my voice. “I don’t actually like translating languages. It’s so boring. I want to rip out my eyeballs every time I do. And restoring weapons is like cleaning the closet. Useful, but not fun.”

“What is fun?” he whispered, leaning closer, like we were conspirators.

I hesitated and then whispered in his ear, “Shopping for princess dresses.” I pulled away, waiting for him to mock me for being superficial and idiotic.

He flashed me a grin that was absolute mischief and mayhem. His voice was low, conspiratorial. “I have a pan fetish. I own over three hundred pans in different shapes and sizes. I use the same half dozen every time I bake, but I can’t help checking to see if there’s anything new. I have this pan shaped like a fish. Ooh!” He grabbed my arm, his eyes lighting up. “We could make a tuna cake for the kittens! What do you think?”

“That’ll be so cute!” I bounced around with him until we knocked into the counter and he caught me around the waist. For a second we stood too close, almost awkward before I remembered that he was SunRae and my bestie forever and ever the end.

I kissed his cheek and pulled back beaming. “You have a dimple. It’s so cute. When can we make the fish cake?”

He cocked his head as he thought then said decisively, “Tomorrow morning. I’ll order ingredients. Vesper will get jealous if he thinks I’m cooking for someone else’s pets, so don’t tell him.”

I nodded soberly. “Your secret’s safe with me.” I beamed at him and bounced. “You’re really here.”

He smiled back, eyes dancing. “I really am. Now, you should go back to your cottage and order at least a dozen fabulous dresses to replace all the ones this show has trashed. Who knew reality tv would be so hard on wardrobe?”

“It’s probably in the fine print.” I grabbed his hands, squeezing them. “I’m so glad you came.”

He squeezed my hands back. “Me too.”

I spun around and danced out of the kitchen, filled with a bubbling euphoria I could barely contain. SunRae was here! And yes, it turned out that she was the obnoxious angel I’d met on the Scholar’s wedding day when he threatened to kill everyone and expose my guardian and had been absolutely awful, but that was just his personality. He couldn’t help it.

Except…

My dancing slowed as I left the castle, stepping out into the overcast day, following the path towards the woods. The angel woman followed me, six steps behind like she was almost giving me privacy. I preferred how Mitt seemed to disappear into the shadows, but angels were like that.

Bold. Honest. Direct.

Richard was not. Otherwise, he would have followed me with his own name, and he wouldn’t have kept following me for five years. Not just following. Messaging every day, multiple times a day, sometimes for hours and hours about nothing.

Why would an angel keep a secret like that for so long and then just come out with it in the middle of another conversation? What were we talking about? Assassination. He could have told me when he first met me in the kitchen while he was baking cookies. “Hi, I’m baking because I’m SunRae, you know, your online friend.” But no, he waited until after the baking segment, when I was washing his poisoned blood out of my dress. Which I’d left in the sink, and I was still only wearing the white petticoat and camisole. Was he worried about me dying? But how would telling me that he was SunRae help with that? Maybe he was trying to make me feel better about Mini dying, and him killing her, because he was a much better friend than she’d ever be, and he was here to support me so I wasn’t so lonely. Or maybe…My stomach tangled. Maybe he’d told me so that I’d stop staring at him like I had some kind of attraction for him. Because I loved SunRae, but we were friends forever and I’d never let something silly like romance get in the way of true friendship. And he was an angel who didn’t feel desire. He’d been very, very clear about that while I’d been touching his silky glowing skin and healing his internal bleeding. He wasn’t here for romance, just like I’d said when I voted him off, but he didn’t want me to vote him off because he did care about me as friends, and didn’t want me to die.

No way he would have spent that much time and effort being my online friend if he wasn’t, in fact, actually interested in being my friend. Right?

I dropped back so I could walk with the angel. “Hi. I’m sorry I didn’t officially introduce myself. I’m Katriana, and you’re…” I held out my hand, smiling hopefully.

She gave it a firm shake. “I’m Hallie, short for Hallelujah.”

Hallelujah! “That’s a lovely name. Can I ask you a question about angels?”

She got a hunted look. “If you want to understand Richard, you’ll have to get in line. He’s…” She scratched her chin. “He has everything to be the perfect angel, but instead he’s never satisfied with anything. You can’t get more powerful, charismatic, or even handsome, but none of that is enough.”

That was not what I wanted. I hesitated and then laughed. “It’s not about Richard. Just angels in general. For instance, if you knew someone for, say, five or six years, and then after that long they told you something that they should have told you from the beginning, what would be your reaction?” Right? If I knew what he expected my reaction should be, I could trace that back to what his intention had been.

She laughed and then broke into a dead serious face. “You mean lying? For half a decade about something important? I’d question that entire relationship. Lying is a deal-breaker. All angels know that.”

“But what if he, or she, felt awkward about it?”

“Lies are the death of the soul. You just haven’t noticed being dead yet.” She sheathed a sword I hadn’t seen her pulling.

I stared at the sword and her grasp on the hilt while I held onto my shaky smile. “Right. Lies are death. So if an angel lies for half a decade, they’re already half dead?” That made no sense. Except a normal person would be more than half dead if their armor was cratered like that. How had that even happened? Did he catch a cannonball with his chest?

“Or they want to die.” She shrugged. “It speaks of a lack of purpose, direction, resolve. If you don’t know who you are, lying to ones self isn’t as noticeable.”

I nodded like that made sense. But he hadn’t lied to himself, but to me, and not even a crazy person wouldn’t notice the difference between being a knight of the HOST and a female pet baker. Had he ever said he was a girl? Maybe not. But I’d said that if he was a guy, I’d marry him for his baking. He hadn’t told me he was a guy then, probably because he didn’t want to marry me. Of course not. He was an angel, and not just any angel. The son of the Commander, with so much Angelic blood he could summon heavenly fire at will.

Honestly, this was all more and more confusing. Richard probably hadn’t told me that he was secretly SunRae so that we could hang out and be buddy-buddy on the show, unless he had. No, he was more concerned about assassins than hanging out with me. He could have come and hung out with me any time in the last five years, but he chose now. He could have sent another angel after the cupid flaked, but he’d come himself, from a war, and started by baking cookies with his blood in them. An experiment to see how I reacted to his blood. Did he want me to drink his blood? I’d heard stories about him loving to poison vampires with his blood, so naturally that meant he didn’t mind vampires drinking him. Did he like it? Some people did. Being vampire drunk could be addictive if you had enough human blood. And he’d let me drink from his vein far longer than was necessary to keep me alive.

But if he’d told me, expecting me to have a normal angelic reaction, like Hallelujah’s, he’d expected me to be angry. To pull away, to be furious at him for lying for so long, for laughing at me for years and years behind my back. I should have been, that was rational, but I was so happy to see my best friend who had been with me through years and years of struggling to make some progress on my platform, so I’d just been happy. Had he been disappointed by my reaction? I couldn’t tell. He was good at covering whatever he actually felt, or everyone would know that he was a pet baker with things like empathy, enthusiasm, and appreciation for all things adorable.

The most I could figure was that Richard told me he was SunRae so that I’d put distance between us and no longer want him, but that I might stop voting him off the show so he could protect me from assassination. He was an angel and everyone knew that they had duty, and the first duty of an angel was to fight evil. That was the assassination thing. The second was to have children to continue the angelic line to fight evil in the future. She’d called it purpose, not romance. Richard was always fighting evil, but maybe he needed to focus on settling down with an angel and fulfil the next duty. His sister was married, and hadn’t his friend also recently settled down?

That’s probably what he was missing. Maybe I could set him up with Hallie. Hallelujah! What a name. Weird that most angelic names were so spiritual, and Richard’s was so…not. Did my heart pang sightly at the idea of Richard dating an angel and settling down with her to have a bunch of adorable babies? Of course not. He was SunRae, my friend, and as his friend, it was my job to make sure he was happy, and never make him uncomfortable with any kind of romantic feelings I might have from his sweet blood and warm eyes.

I could do that. SunRae was here? I’d do anything for my best friend forever. Particularly since I wasn’t romantic about him, anyway.

Chapter

Nine

Imeant to go directly to my cottage, but SunRae was here, and so was Vesper, who was the horse I’d seen her/him bake cakes for but never actually seen. It wouldn’t hurt to take a peek at Vesper before I went to my cottage and ordered dresses. Would SunRae actually come in the morning to bake kitten cakes with me? That would be crazy, but so was posing as a female pet baker for half a decade.

I smiled at the thought of it. SunRae was actually here. And he’d told me who he was instead of keeping it a secret. I loved that so much, even if he told me just so I’d stop getting romantic notions about him. Not that I was. Of course not. Bloodlust was not the same as the kinds of lust that angels didn’t feel.

I inhaled deeply, sniffing around the outside of the castle, aware of Mitt as a shadow behind me until I got to a building that smelled like Richard, only a bit less sweet. I carefully opened the door and peered into the dark room, but I couldn’t see anything, or hear anything, and the smell seemed more general animal mustiness than anything heavenly.

“Hello?” I whispered.

There was a moment’s silence and then a whicker, and a glowing mane came to life, illuminating the pale horse who stared at me behind a gate that didn’t seem tall enough to keep him in.

“Vesper?” I whispered, edging inside.

He whinnied and shook his mane. The glow spread over him until he was entirely alight. He was beautiful, not quite ghostly, but glowing and gorgeous. Absolutely glorious, like a moon tinged in gold.

I moved closer, enrapt by his loveliness. “You’re absolutely stunning! No wonder Richard makes you so many beautiful cakes. He’s trying to match your beauty, but he can’t do it, can he?” I glanced around to make sure we were alone. “But don’t tell him that. He’ll feel bad. He works really hard on your cakes. It’s not his fault that you’re made out of gossamer dreams and ghost tears, while his cakes are only made out of baking powder and sugar.”

The creature huffed and then bent it’s glorious, graceful head and pushed open the gate. He stepped out and posed. There was no other word for it, and the full-body shot was absolutely lovely, one wing tilted to frame his glorious head.

I clapped my hands. “Such a magnificent creature! You’re like the moon come down to frolic among the mortals. We don’t deserve you!”

He dropped the pose and came right up to me and bent his head to snuffle me with his nose. Oh. He was actually much taller than he seemed from the distance. So tall, and his nose was so incredibly silky. And his eyes were jewels of azure, like Richard’s. So, so, so lovely.

I hesitated and then touched his nose, his face, astonished at the softest velvet beneath my fingers. It reminded me of Richard’s feathers when he’d enveloped me on the couch.

“You’re so silky! I didn’t know horses were so silky.”

He pricked up his ears and then pushed me back a step, gentle, but definitely moving me towards the door.

“Do you want to go outside? I don’t suppose anyone’s going to stop you. Do you need me to open the door for you? You shouldn’t be imprisoned here, if you don’t want to be.” Not sure how you could imprison a flying horse without chaining it down to something.

He nickered and then nudged my chest with his nose, pushing me back while I clung to his face so I didn’t fall over.

“Do you want me to go out?”

He twitched an ear then raised his head, reached over my shoulder with it, and then opened the door with his teeth.

“Wow! You’re amazing! You can open doors with your teeth? I can’t do that! I can just make my fangs come down. See?” I showed him my fangs going in and out. “It’s kind of stupid. Your tooth skills are far superior.”

He whickered and pushed me out the door ahead of him. Once we were outside, he trotted around me, brushing me with his gold-tipped wing before he stopped, slightly to the side, and nudged me with his wing.

“Ooh, your feathers are so silky!” I touched the feathers, reveling in the soft deliciousness. Richard’s were just a bit softer, though.

Vesper nudged me again, and I stumbled against his warm, strong side. I froze there, my cheek against the breathing, living creature that was SunRae’s favorite in the whole wide world.

I spread my arms and gave him the biggest hug I possibly could. While in that position, he picked me up by the back of my white petticoat and dropped me on his back.

I perched there, feeling on top of the world with this strong broad creature beneath me. He looked over his shoulder at me as if to ask me what I thought about flying.

“I’ve flown on a dragon before,” I whispered, my fingers instinctively searching for something to hold onto. As soon as they tangled in his mane, he took off down the path. It started as a nice, soft trot, but then he shifted into a run that sucked the breath into my lungs. And then he spread those enormous, gold tipped wings on either side and lunged into the sky.

My eyes ran with tears that hopefully weren’t blood, and the world became a hazy speck far below. We flew and flew until I laughed and spread my arms, letting the wind shear my skin. This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I’d never, ever, forget it.

Vesper took a sudden turn, and off I tumbled, free falling a million miles above the earth. On second thought, I probably shouldn’t have let go of his mane.

The wind pulled at me as I plummeted, leaving my breath far behind me. Death by falling? How unexpected. I guess it really was once-in-a-lifetime because I’d be dead. How were you supposed to fall? Arms out so you had more resistance? Wasn’t there something about keeping your body relaxed? When I tried to relax, I tumbled until I was dizzy, so I put out my arms and legs, using my petticoat skirt as a kind of sail, which meant I was mostly upside down, but at least not flipping all over the place.

I saw gold in my periphery, and then Richard was there, wings spread as he wrapped his arms around me, guiding my fall until it wasn’t so messy, and then angling us up so we didn’t hit the ground.

He shifted me so I was in his arms in a proper bridal carry, and then his wings beat twice and we landed on the top of a hill.

I clung to him, my face plastered to his neck, clinging with all of my strength, which as a vampire was a lot, unable to breathe, my heart still in my throat, wind whipped out of me.

“Um. You can let go now,” he said, sounding slightly squeaky, and also amused.

I pressed my face against his skin and tried to breathe. I might be able to breathe better if I weren’t plastered against him, but then I might fall. Although we were on the ground. And his body was shaking as he struggled to contain his laughter. Amused was he? Sure, he had wings and was confident about not falling, but I didn’t! I’d almost died!

I squeezed him tighter until he squeaked.

“You need some good hugs? Fine.” He dropped my legs so we were properly aligned and then squeezed me back, crushing my ribs and making me finally feel like I wasn’t falling.

For a few more seconds the panic beat at me in time to my racing heart, but slowly it eased and so did my grip on him.

“There there,” he said, rubbing my back, still sounding amused. “That’ll teach you to climb on disreputable pegasus’s. Or is it Pegasii? I can never remember the plural.”

I took a shuddering inhale of his neck and almost bit him. He was so delicious, and so annoying. I pulled back to glare at him instead of biting. “I didn’t climb on him! He put me on his back with his teeth. His teeth are diabolically clever. Not that I wouldn’t have climbed on if I didn’t think that would be disrespectful.” I stared at my golden angel. He was more beautiful and otherworldly than the horse with the golden light capturing his hair and creating a halo. Not that I was thinking about how stunning he was. That would be awkward, and I wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship. “Why did Vesper put me on him if he was just going to dump me out in the sky?”

He grinned down at me. “We should ask him when he lands. Your hair is all messed up.” He put his large palm on my head and then scrubbed, like it needed more destruction. “Maybe this should be your brand, mussed pastel princess. It’s adorable.”

“Hmph. And your brand can be rescuing pastel princesses. Seriously, you should post signs to beware Vesper’s teeth. Your horse is sneaky.”

He grinned again and then started fiddling with my hair, fixing my curls. “Very sneaky. He would have caught you if I didn’t show up. At least I like to think so. He doesn’t usually let anyone touch him much less climb on him.”

“I didn’t…”

I gasped as he picked me back up in his arms and flew effortlessly with me to a large rock, landing in a swoosh of feathers. He sat down, putting me on the rock beside him.

We were overlooking a beautiful green valley with a golden river running through it. The sun was low in the sky, towards setting, and it made everything golden and glorious, particularly the angel beside me. The sky was turning cotton-candy pink around the edges and silhouetted in the distance was an outline of the gliding Pegasus.

I punched his shoulder. “Don’t just grab me and fly away with me any time you want. I’m still freaked out from falling to my death!” Not really, but he couldn’t just carry me away exactly like his horse, particularly when I liked it so much. I felt so little and adorable and princessy when he held me in his strong arms. I didn’t need to get anywhere close to romantic when it made him so uncomfortable.

He gave me a sneaky glance. “I don’t grab you and fly away with you any time I want, because that would be all the time. You’re so cute. I just want to pinch your cheeks.”

I scowled, but I kind of wanted to pinch his cheeks too. “Whatever. Be quiet. I’m watching the sunset. Unless flying me back in the dark is a problem.”

Vesper landed, shook his mane and pranced a bit, like he was showing off. Such a shockingly glorious creature.

Richard shook his head and lounged back so he could look at the sky more fully. “Not a problem. I bring a glowing ball of gas with me everywhere Vesper goes.” He nodded at the sky. “It’s an okay sunset, but I’ve seen better.”

I smacked his chest. “You have not. It’s the best sunset because you’re sharing it with your good friend. Seriously, who says that other things are better? When you’re with someone, you notice the beauty of the moment instead of comparing it with something else in the past. Now is always better than then because now can be experienced with someone while then is petrified wood caught in the forest of your memories.” If he didn’t understand these basic things, he’d never be able to find his true purpose with another angel. I could see why he hadn’t yet. His personality needed so much work.

He studied me intently with those warm blue eyes. “I wasn’t saying that for your benefit, but for Vesper’s. If he’s going to steal you away, at the very least he can drop you where the sunset is absolutely prime. Of course being with my pastel princess makes this sunset the loveliest I’ve ever experienced, but that’s mostly because I’m looking at you, and not the sky.”

Maybe he didn’t need as much work as I thought. That was the kind of thing you said when you were flirting, and it gave me all kinds of goosebumps. Of course sweet things from the angel were not to be trusted. I frowned at Vesper then at Richard. “I highly doubt he brought me here to see the sunset.”

He nudged me. “That’s because you don’t know Vesper. He’s lovely in the evening rays, but even more stunning in the moonlight. You’ve been flattering him, I can tell, and that makes him even more egotistical than he already is. Did he pose for you?” He shook his head, tsking.

Vesper made a rude-sounding whinny and turned his back on us with a glorious flip of his mane.

I started giggling as I looked between the horse and the man. “So he’s exactly like you?”

His dimple appeared while his eyes twinkled. “Exactly. Only I can bake, and he can’t.”

That reminded me of the strawberry cupcake that had tasted so heavenly. Also that he’d probably told me he was SunRae to stop me from being romantic about him, but here we were, watching a sunset together. What was more romantic than that? And he’d said something sweet and flirty which I absolutely could not take like that.

I cleared my throat because the sky was beautiful, but not nearly as enchanting as the person sitting next to me, warm, strong, and absolutely delicious. I subtly scooted slightly away from him.

“So…how long have you had Vesper?” I asked, looking at the visibly insulted horse instead of the man beside me.

“He’s had me for what, two decades? It feels like forever.”

The horse looked over his shoulder at Richard and blew a raspberry before returning to his injured pose.

I elbowed Richard. “Now you’ve hurt his feelings.”

“He dropped you out of the sky. I’m still irritated about it. He sent me an image of you on his back, so I came, but if I’d been slower…” He scowled hard at the horse before he turned to me. “He would have caught you. But he played this whole game just to drive me crazy when he knows I’m already crazy. Believe me, if you weren’t here, distracting me with your charm and beauty, I’d be having serious words with the horse.”

Vesper swished his tail dismissively.

“My charm and beauty, hm? You should save the flattery for your angel girlfriend.”

He made this choking sound while his big eyes bulged. “My what?”

I batted my lashes at him. “Your angel girlfriend. What? You don’t have one? I’m so surprised because you’re so handsome, powerful, and good at defeating evil. Hallie was telling me how ideal you were. Speaking of Hallie, isn’t she just lovely? You should ask her on a date. I’m sure she’d be delighted.”

His face was getting more squinched up the longer I talked. When I finished he shook his head and shuddered, shaking off my words. “No.”

“What do you mean no? Hallie’s such a nice angel!”

“I don’t like nice angels. Also, nice isn’t exactly the term people use for my breed. Angels are scary, particularly ones who want to marry me.” He leaned over to whisper, “They mostly want me for my angel blood. They’re like vampires without any of the fun.”

He was so close and smelled so good, I was tempted to sink my fangs in his neck and drink his sweet elixir, particularly if he thought it was fun. I pushed him away instead. “Stop it. Your blood is distracting enough without you talking about it.”

He squinted at me, his hair turning all shades of gold while the sky above him went to purples and red. It really was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and framed by the sunset? It made me wish I could paint so I could capture this moment forever.

He shrugged. “I don’t mind if you drink me. I like getting blood sucked. It’s absolutely relaxing. And it might be good to give your usual donor a break, let him build up his platelets and whatnot.”

I shook my head. “We aren’t talking about blood, we’re enjoying the sunset. If you want to talk about something, you can tell me why you’re so scared of angel females who might want to marry you. Don’t you think you’d be happier if you were fulfilling your second purpose?”

He gave me a squint as he leaned back. “What do you know about angelic purpose? Also, how honest do you want me to be? I can be honest, brutally so, but you did mention something about manners, and the two don’t really jive.”

I inhaled deeply of the quickly cooling air and stared up at the glorious sky. Did I want him to be honest, or did I want him to spare my feelings? My feelings were tangling around, utterly mixed up knowing that the beautiful yet vile angel was my beloved SunRae best friend forever. And he was gorgeous, and he liked being blood sucked, and he had the most delicious blood in the world, and he felt absolutely no desire. My feelings needed to be pruned before they messed up my first real-life friendship.

“Be completely honest. Why did you tell me you were SunRae today?” I didn’t look at him, but I braced myself, preparing for the pain of having him say that he didn’t want to be romantic with me, and didn’t want me to think about romance with him.

He shrugged. “So I could bake for you. I figured if I didn’t tell you, you’d figure it out the next time I baked something. You’re much better to bake for than Vesper. In all honesty, he’d rather nibble on fresh grass than eat my baked goods, but seeing you eat my cupcake was absolutely validating. You loved it.” He sounded so smug.

I turned to frown at him. “You didn’t tell me so that I’d be angry at you for lying and then I’d be less romantically interested in you?” I almost bit my tongue once the words were out.

He raised his brows, smile quizzical. “You’re romantically interested in me? Well, I am incredibly gorgeous. And I have a horse.”

Vesper made another rude sound.

I elbowed him. “I’m not, but Pearly White keeps saying that I am, just because I was watching you bake. Everyone else was…” I shuddered.

He nodded, eyes luminous. “I know they were. Or weren’t. Baked salad? And yet that was the most edible thing there. You poor, poor, poor thing. I’d rather be poisoned than eat another werewolf beef cake.”

“Same.” I grabbed his arm. “Except don’t be poisoned again, okay?”

He covered my hand with his and grinned. “Okay. Also, I have no problem with you being romantically involved with me, but everyone could see that you aren’t, because you voted me off the show. In spite of me saving your life. That’s very clear messaging. Although maybe you will be now that you know I’m SunRae and bake adorable mini cakes. And then if I bake for you all the time…No, I don’t see how you could help but fall desperately in love with me. Other than my personality issues.” His smile turned devious. “You should be romantic about me. Then I can use you as the reason I’m not interested in getting married for duty. Angels don’t understand why duty wouldn’t be a good enough reason for me to do something. After all, I’m the one with the most angelic blood. I must also be compelled by my duty above my heart.”

I squinted at him. “You don’t mind if I fall in love with you? But wouldn’t that make our friendship awkward?”

He looked truly puzzled. “How? Oh! Desire! I forget that people have that. Would it be awkward for you? You don’t seem to be terribly motivated by desire, or you’d be more interested in the incubus. He’s very handsome.”

“So handsome! But one of my best friends in the lab is a succubus, so I don’t take any of that appeal seriously. It’s not real.”

“Interesting.” He moved closer, eyes intent. “So, you’ve been exposed to these kinds of feelings, lust and so forth in its full potency? What’s it like?”

I blinked at the angel and slowly smiled while the colors shifted and began to fade from the sky. He was so adorably naïve, even more than I was. “You want me to explain lust to you? I’ll have to do research and write you a long essay on the topic.”

He wrinkled his nose. “And then you’d pluck out your eyeballs. Nevermind. Would it bother you if I were physically affectionate? For example, you just shivered for the fifth time, and my automatic response would be to wrap my wing around you and tug you closer to my body heat, but if it inflamed you uncomfortably to be so close to me, I won’t. Also if you just don’t like touching me. That’s more likely. Vampires don’t seem to like touching very much. Angels are very physical, but not in a romantic way. There’s a lot of bro hugs, for instance.”

I beamed at him. He really was SunRae, thinking all these different things in all these different ways, but always full of exclamations. So adorable! Not that his voice hit those high points, but if you translated his words to text, there would be exclamations all over the place. “I’m half human, but no, vampires don’t hug a lot, which means I’m sort of…” I hesitated then continued, feeling like I was stepping off the edge of a cliff. “Starved for physical contact.”

His feathery wing came around me, pulling me close to his warmth, and then his arm was there, wrapping around my waist, before he turned his head and kissed my hair. His voice was low and velvet. “Perfect. Then I can relax and just take care of you without worrying that I’m freaking you out.”

I gurgled a laugh while my heart beat faster and I held very still, trying not to freak out. But he was SunRae. Wasn’t it normal for him to want to take care of me? I wanted to take care of him and make sure he was optimal amounts of happy. Why shouldn’t he feel the same way? I hesitated and then put my head on his shoulder. “I’m freaking out, but quietly.”

“Look, the first star,” he said, pointing up at the edge of the sky while Venus made her entrance.

The sky was fading, the color gone even from the edges. I felt so nice snuggled up to the angel, but when I inhaled, his blood smelled so delicious, my mouth watered. I needed to get home and drink a blood bag. I nudged his warm body with my elbow. “You should take me home now.”

“Why? More stars will come out in a second and those are even prettier than sunsets. Some might even fall. A falling star is even prettier than a falling angel.” He winked at me like there couldn’t be anything prettier than him.

I giggled. “You’re very confident. Lucky you have wings so you won’t fall.” I tugged on his feathers and his arm tightened around me deliciously.

He raised a brow. “Angels with wings are in the most danger of falling since they’re so high up. Being with you is like that. So high and heavenly. I’m glad we’re friends.” His eyes crinkled in the sweetest smile.

Friends. Right. I gazed up at the sky instead of at him. “Me too. Now be quiet so I’m not distracted while watching for falling stars and angels.”

“Do I distract you a lot?”

“Of course. You’re so gorgeous. And you have a horse.” I snickered. “You’re terrible.”

“I know. Terribly gorgeous.” He cocked his head just so, and I knew that Vesper learned his dramatic posing from him.

I burst into laughter, and he joined me, voice rich and delicious as his blood while I stayed safely snuggled against him while a sea of stars came to life above.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve really seen the stars,” I murmured.

“Same. I’m usually too busy to soak in the beauty. You’re very beautiful, particularly your laugh.”

I raised my head to give him a look. “Wow. Coming from the gorgeous angel with a horse, that’s really something. Particularly my laugh? Wow.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m trying not to freak you out. Manners are a thing.”

“I thought I asked for brutal honesty.”

He sighed heavily. “Honestly? The stars are nothing compared to you. You smell like peaches and purity while kindness shines from your eyes. Your eyes glow brighter than Vesper or the moon. And your outfits are the cutest things ever. You’re the walking embodiment of adorableness.”

I giggled. “Wow. You’re right. Now I’m completely freaked out. I smell like peaches and purity? I do love peaches. This is so much fun. You really are SunRae.”

“And you are my Pastel Princess. So, which of the contestants do you like best? Will you stop trying to vote me off now that you know we’re best friends forever?”

I elbowed him. “I can’t talk to you about contestants. It’s in the fine print. You’ll just have to see how I vote.”

He grinned at me. “That’s a subtle hint that I’ll be here to see who you vote off. It’s a pity you don’t have more options. Only five possibilities to marry? You should have millions of options and choose the best of them.”

“I don’t think a million men want to marry me.”

He scoffed. “Any man would be a complete fool not to love you.”

I grinned at him. “But I need to find a fool. Only fools fall in love.”

“I thought it was only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”

“I have evidence that angels fear very little.”

“And they tread all over everything.” He grinned at me and then rolled off the rock, landing lightly and holding out a hand to me. “Fair princess, would you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you home?”

I wrapped my arms around myself when the cold breeze hit me. “How could I resist such manners? You’re using them like you know what they are.”

“Of course I know what they are. I’m not a barbarian. Sadly. I’ve had good manners drilled into me from conception. Before conception, most likely. Can I take you home? It is getting late, and I’ve got to retrieve a pan, and you’ve mentioned needing to get back to drink blood, which is ridiculous because I have perfectly good poisonous blood that you can drink right here.”

I stepped away from him and towards Vesper. I stroked his soft nose while he lipped my fingers. “You’d better keep your blood for emergencies.”

He stepped behind me close enough I could feel his heat, but he didn’t actually touch me. My heart beat faster as he murmured, “I don’t like you having emergencies. No, I really, really hated you being shot in the heart, however much I liked you drinking my blood.”

He sounded almost passionate. I shivered and turned to look up at him. “Yes. Take me home.”

He ran his strong hands over my arms, eyes still dark with anger at the thought of me being shot. “You have all these goosebumps. Flying will be too cold for you. That means we’ll ride Vesper so I can wrap you in my feathers. If you promise not to drop anyone,” he said to his pegasus, voice stern.

Vesper snorted and then lowered a wing, like he was absolutely respectable and not guilty of dropping anyone ever.

Richard snorted and then picked me up and leapt on, spreading his wings until we were astride, and I was sitting across his legs. Then he wrapped his fluffy, soft, golden wings around me and snuggled me deep in his feathers.

I laughed and then Vesper launched off the hill, dipping terrifyingly low before he pulled up and angled around. He wasn’t as fast, and he flew here and there, not in a straight line, like he was enjoying the flight. My face was cold, but the wind didn’t rush like before, and with Richard and his feathers, I enjoyed every second of the magical flight through clouds. Then the moon came out and it was truly glorious.

Vesper played games with the night shadows while I drowned in Richard’s feathers, loving the smell of wild wind mixed with Richard’s sweet, heavenly blood. We flew for ages, but finally, Vesper landed in the clearing I’d napped in, trotted a few steps and then shook his head, whinnying.

“Yes, yes, you finally made it,” Richard said, sounding slightly irritable. “Thank you for not dumping anyone even though you took five times as long as necessary.”

I leaned over Vesper’s neck and hugged him as tight as I could without channeling any vampire. “Thank you for the most beautiful, magical, wonderful ride I’ve ever imagined. You are pure delight. Don’t let Richard tell you differently. You can fly me around all night if you’d like. But you should get back to your barn and rest.”

I slipped off Richard’s lap and landed, smiling up at him. “Thank you for saving me. Again. And thank you for keeping me warm.”

He didn’t follow me down, just stayed there looking like a perfect prince of the night. “You’re much more affectionate with my horse than with me. You sound like we’re at a formal event and you’re about to curtsy.”

I dropped the deepest curtsy I’d ever given in all of my life and then raised only my head, gazing up at him through my lashes. “My thanks, kind sir. And give my regards to your mother.”

He leaned down over me, almost looking like he was going to topple off. “And you can do that while keeping your spine perfectly straight. You really are a princess.” He shifted back, more settled on his steed. “Good night, Pastel Princess. Sweet dreams.”

With that, he and Vesper swept up into the sky, arcing above me like a reverse shooting star, glowing until they vanished entirely from sight.

I stood where I was for a long time, staring up, searching for falling stars and my angel.

Chapter

Ten

The next morning I woke up to a knock on my window. There was Richard, face pressed against the glass in the pre-dawn light. What in the world was he doing? He held up a fish-shaped pan, and everything came together.

Oh, right! The tuna cakes! He’d actually been serious about that? How crazy! I rolled out of bed, pulling on the nearest robe, which was a filmy thing that matched my pale pink silk nightgown. I hurried through the cottage and opened the front door so Richard could come in with bundles of ingredients.

He wiggled his brows at me. “I brought the pan! Do you have an oven? I didn’t ask. We could try to cook over an open flame in the woods! Maybe not for your first cat cake, but it would be an adventure!”

I beamed at him. I loved cooking adventures, not that I’d ever had any, but they sounded perfect. “The little kitchen is so cute, and it has an oven!”

Richard beamed at me and then waltzed into the kitchen like he lived there. The next hour was spent with him directing me on the proper way to bake a cat cake. I did my best, so by the time the sun was truly up, I had the kitten cake made with mostly tuna, but a bunch of other healthy things for cats.

We sat on the floor feeding kittens crumbs, and it was the best morning I’d ever had in my life.

“You can keep the pan,” Richard said, leaning against a pink cabinet. “It’ll give me room to buy more.”

“How long do you think you’ll keep your pet baking hobby? You said you were a serial hobbyist, so maybe you’ll switch considering how long you’ve been at it. At least five years.” That would be the saddest thing ever if he quit his SunRae platform and moved on, but it would be to something awesome.

He rubbed his chin and then picked up the black kitten, studying it. “What about Poem?”

I looked at the black cat and then at him. “Poem? You mean poetry as a hobby? I think it has potential!”

He raised a brow at me. “For his name. Short yet pretty. Kittens don’t need to be named after their physical attributes, or even their metaphysical. You can have any name at all. Like the way you kept changing your name for awhile there. Kristin? Kirstin? Then Katrina and Katriana. Why does a name have to mean anything?”

I patted his knee. “It’s okay, Richard. Even though you weren’t named Grace or Mercy, you’re still an angel. Speaking of, what do you think of Hallie?” Hallelujah!

He raised a brow. “Think of her?”

“Like would you date her?”

He snorted and elbowed me hard enough to knock me over. “No.”

“Why not?” I asked, pushing myself upright. “She’s really nice. And her shoulders are really broad.”

“Why not?” He raised a brow and then leaned closer. “What about you and your long line of suitors?” He tsked and shook his head as he stood. “I’m not dating right now. Unless you consider the dating show I’m on, in which case I’m dating you along with all those other marvelous specimens.” He scowled and I got the idea he was thinking about Zander the assassin.

“What about fencing?” I asked quickly, scrambling to my feet and trying to ignore the wave of panic at the thought of him leaving me before I’d fixed his love life.

“Fencing?” He looked confused, like we’d been talking about dating and suddenly I switched topics. Because I had. I was notoriously not subtle.

I smiled brightly. “I haven’t fenced in ages, but I saw a pair of dueling swords in the closet.”

He frowned at me. “I’m a Lion.”

“And I’m a vampire. Don’t Lions duel?”

He cocked his head, eyes calculating until he finally nodded. “I will try not to get too aggressive with you.”

I rolled my eyes and headed for the fridge. “I’ll just get a drink first, and then we’ll be ready to go.”

“Drink?”

“Blood. I’m a vampire.”

“You mean Mitt?”

I wrinkled my nose at him and opened the fridge. I grabbed the first blood bag I saw and then straightened, closed the door and punctured the bag with my teeth. I sucked blood while he stared at me, kind of intent, like he’d never seen a vampire suck a blood bag before.

I pulled out my fangs and elbowed him. “You’re staring.”

“You were staring at me baking.”

“Because you’re actually a competent baker and everyone else sucked so bad.”

He elbowed me back. “And now it’s you sucking. You don’t drink live people? Wouldn’t you prefer to have your blood in a pretty glass?”

“Nope. I don’t like the smell. Angel blood, sure, and a few other flavors, but overall, the taste and scent of blood is not great. It’s like raw meat.”

He blinked at me. “You don’t like the taste of blood? And you call yourself a vampire.”

“A sun-born vampire. I know, it’s weird, but at least I can go in the sun. I love the sun! It makes up for how much I don’t love blood.”

“But you have to drink it?”

“Or I get dizzy and anemic. Also it’s easier to channel my vampire speed and strength if I’ve been drinking enough blood. I went through a period where I refused to drink blood. The Scholar calls it my vegan period. Do all teenagers really go through that? That’s what he said.”

He shook his head. “No. Some of us never mind killing innocent animals for our own health and happiness.”

I squinted at him. “But did you go through a vegan stage?”

“Vegetarian, but don’t tell anyone.”

I laughed and then finished my blood bag while he kept staring at me like it was really interesting. It wasn’t, but it made me feel special. Whatever.

After that, I went to my bedroom to get dressed in something that would twirl beautifully while we were dueling. It was also pink and purple pale stripes. So pretty. My purple shoes had a large rosette on each toe. I was saving it for a picnic, but this would be better.

When I came out, Richard took my photo then nodded and sent it to me. “It’s perfectly pastel princess. I’m still wearing Banus’s pants and Mitt’s shirt. I flew home for my pan last night, but I forgot to get clothes.” He shrugged while I looked down at his legs.

“Those are business slacks. The Scholar likes to wear pants like that when he doesn’t want people to think about how many ways he can kill them.”

“That’s exactly what my wardrobe needs.” He showed me the perfectly polished foils. Apparently he’d polished while I got pretty. “Do you want to do photos? I could ask Hallie or you could ask Mitt.”

I shook my head. “Dueling isn’t really my brand.”

“Same. I’m more killing than dueling, but for you, I’ll try to make an exception. If I do accidentally kill you, I am very sorry.”

I snorted. “That would be hilarious. And then I’d rise a vampire and suck all your blood so that you could also rise a vampire. Then we could continue the duel on equal footing.”

He nudged me, eyes twinkling. “I love the way you plan through all exigencies.”

For some reason that word, ‘love,’ floated in the air and caught on the edges of my heart. He wouldn’t mind me falling desperately in love with him, he just wouldn’t ever reciprocate. That was one way to assure a broken heart that never healed.

We started the duel in the clearing on the edge of a pond. There was a lovely boat floating along the bank. I should have suggested rowing instead of dueling. Maybe later.

I took a starting pose, raised my foil at Richard, who frowned, like he was puzzled until he finally copied my pose. I slashed my blade, and he nodded and slashed his, like he was remembering how this was supposed to go.

Then I leapt forward with a thrust that would have gone through his heart if he hadn’t blocked, spinning and knocking my blade back. I was on him again in the next instant, not as fast as I could be, but fast enough to push him.

His eyes narrowed as he focused, finally taking the game seriously.

It was glorious! We battled all along the bank and clearing. My skirt twirled so perfectly every time I spun away from him, or around him to attack from the other side.

And he was wonderful! It was like dancing without any music. Finally, when we were nearing the bank, I kicked one of his feet into the other, while bringing my foil around on the other side, and he stumbled back, off the bank, into the water and fell down with a great splash.

I giggled as I held my foil, staring at the fallen lion, all wet and ridiculous, with long wet strands of not-so-gold over his face, water streaming from his golden wings.

“Do you yield?” I asked, swinging my foil back and forth, flicking the water.

“I yield.” Richard the Lion said with a nod then with a smile that spoke of mischief, he stood, dripping from his sodden wings to his probably ruined pants.

That look in his eyes made me take a step back, but not fast enough. He shook off, and those feathers…

I flinched as the cold water hit me. I wasn’t soaked, but I was shivery and shocked. He spread his wings and launched out of the water, coming towards me. I gulped but before I could bring up my weapon, he had me disarmed. He picked me up over his shoulder and then hopped into the boat, carrying me upside down so I could see the boat rock and almost tip over.

“Careful! This is my picnic dress,” I said, grabbing at his back, trying to get a grip.

“And these are Banus’ business pants. Or were. I’ll probably have to pay him to replace them.”

“You’d probably have to anyway. Most people don’t like other people borrowing their clothes, even if they don’t go swimming in them.”

He tsked and then set me down. The boat rocked and I grabbed onto him, but his foot caught on the coil of rope in the bottom, and then he fell, but this time I went with him, landing on his chest in the bottom of the boat.

For a second it was quiet, but then we both burst out laughing. I tried to get up, but the boat rocked again, and he pulled me against his side, enveloped by his enormous wing.

He was so warm, even damp, and the sun was so bright, and his feathers were so soft. I was here in the bottom of a boat with SunRae my best friend in the whole world!

“You duel like a demon,” he said, putting an arm behind his head as he stared up into the blue sky with one pretty puffy cloud in the distance, me tucked against his side, perfectly safe and comfortable.

I sighed happily. “Like a vampire. I went through a period before I quit drinking blood when I wanted my dad to like me, so I tried to be the perfect vampire. The Vampire King’s dueling parties are famous. I didn’t realize what being wanted by the Vampire King meant, but luckily I failed before he could ruin my life. I kept my hair spelled black for a long time after that, just so I wouldn’t look like him. But just because we have the same hair doesn’t mean we’re the same, and blonde works better for pastel princess.”

“That is lucky he didn’t like you. So you went for vampirism, got depressed, went vegan, got pale and sickly, and then settled on pastel princess. It suits you. I wonder if I could hire you to shop for me. I save all my shopping stamina for pans.”

I tsked. “Poor, poor angel. I’m afraid I only know how to shop for a magical fantasy world. I’d dress you in ruffles.”

“Like on the collar and sleeves? I could pull off ruffles.”

“And florals?”

“Obviously florals.”

I giggled and snuggled into him, shivering. “You’re so warm.”

“And you were warm until you used up all that bagged blood channeling your vampire speed and strength. I shouldn’t have gotten you wet. I’m sorry.”

I poked his stomach. “I’m the one who dropped you in the pond. I should be sorry. But I’m not. That was hilarious!”

He sniffed. “That’s what we call a sick sense of humor, particularly if it makes you catch a cold. I’d better keep you warm.” He shifted his wings, wrapping them around me so only my face poked out of the silky soft fluff.

It was so cozy! Had I ever been so cozy? I couldn’t remember. Instead of thinking how wonderful it felt in his feathers, I needed to focus on helping him find his purpose and his duty.

“Lion?”

“Kitty?”

“Meow.”

“Rawr.”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled as I wrapped my arms around him under his feathers. “What are your parents like?” That would help me gauge the kind of relationship he wanted, right?

“Well, my dad’s the Commander of the HOST’s, so that’s all you need to know about him. And my mother is the leader of the HARP’s. They’re the HOST’s Arm of Righteous Punishment. They have the highest death count of any other section. What about you? What are your parents like?”

Seriously? He could just say that and then move on? Annoying! “Well, my father’s the Vampire King, so that’s all you need to know about him. And my mother was a mostly human member of the finest insane asylum in Europe. Are you ticklish?” Because tickling him would be way better than remembering how insane all my relatives were, and how insane I was on a bad day.

“I am ticklish. Are you?”

I sighed. “No. And your parents aren’t their job descriptions. What are they really like?”

He was quiet for a beat and then he tightened his arms around me like he didn’t want me to fall out of the boat. “Busy. Determined. Motivated. Purpose-driven. They’re divorced. They married for duty, the perfect genetic match to produce the ideal angelic offspring. After my mother had me, she went back to work, leaving me in the care of my father. I don’t know if he was surprised or if they wrote it in a contract. It doesn’t matter. He hired a nanny for me, and then he fell in love with my nanny over a period of five years. At least, she worked for him for five years before he married her. He probably loved her sooner.”

“So he had love and duty? That’s lucky.”

He snorted. “Lucky? She was half ogre, half elf. And of course she didn’t tell my father she was part ogre, because he never would have hired her, and she was desperate for work.”

“Aahh. That explains Mirabelle and her ogre prince.”

“Nothing explains Miracle. She’s a phenomenon. At any rate, my father found out his true love was an ogre and was devastated. Not just because she was an ogre, and ogres are evil and so forth, but because she’d lied to him.”

“Ah. Lies are death.”

“Of the soul. Yes. And he couldn’t get over it. Nanny talked to me about it, so desperate to prove her love in spite of her lies. So she got pregnant. She barely made it to delivery, because angel blood is so toxic. She died, gave him his miracle and proved her love. Is that really love, though? Because while my dad adores Mirabel, he never would have chosen her over her mother.”

“But lies are death. So why did you lie to me so long about being SunRae?”

“I make a point to lie regularly. Because I’m a romantic. I watched the entire miserable process of duty and purpose destroying happiness. I want someone who can love me even if I’m not perfect, even if I lie, even if I fall.”

I looked up at him, but I could only see his jaw. I touched it with my finger, feeling the tension clenched there. “I’d rather have someone who loved goodness more than me. I’m going to turn into a vampire someday. If I end up a soulless beast like my father, I’d prefer to be with someone who would stop me instead of joining me. There’s enough darkness in the world, and with my genetics, it’s likely that I’ll become completely insane and evil. I’ll probably be worse than my father.”

He turned his head so he could look down at me, his eyes golden and alight as he stared at me. “I would stop you.”

“I know. And I don’t care if you aren’t perfect.” I beamed at him. “That’s why we’re such good friends. So, when are you going to get married for your duty? Maybe you can find love at the same time. There must be some baking-obsessed angel who doesn’t mind fudging the truth.”

“But is fudge something you bake?” he asked, brows furrowing like it was a very serious question.

I snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re trying to set me up with angels when you don’t know any. It won’t work.”

“But you’d be happier if you were doing your purpose. Everyone knows that.”

“And you’re so invested in my happiness?”

“Obviously. You taught me how to make kitten cakes. You deserve all the happiness.”

“Well, who can argue with that?”

“No one in their right mind.”

“Not that we’d know, because we’re both a bit insane.”

I hesitated. Was that a jab about my parents?

“Insane about pans and dresses,” he added then pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You aren’t crazy. You know the difference between fantasy and reality, even if you like the fantasy wardrobe so much better.”

“I’ve had therapy for as long as I can remember. I have highs and lows that can be pretty extreme.” I didn’t want to tell him this. Why was I telling him this? I wanted him to be my happy friend who would make me laugh while we made crazy pet cakes.

His voice was a low rumble. “Same. Only my highs are killing things and my lows are boredom when I’m not killing things. I have so much angelic blood, and it eats at me. I do things to get reactions out of people, to distract me from the boredom. I was born to fight. But I can’t always, so…”

“You’re super annoying. Always kind of picking a fight. But we can duel when you’re bored, right?”

“Yes. I’m not bored when I’m dueling with you.”

I smiled happily and sank into his feathers, letting them wrap around me while his heat warmed me to my toes.

“I’m getting sleepy,” I said, the rocking boat and the warm sun on my face mixing with the delightful feathers and arms wrapped around me.

“Same. I was up all night flying to the coast to retrieve a pan. What’s your excuse?”

“I think my heart’s still healing from the time I got shot.”

He inhaled sharply. “Does it bother you?”

“That Mini shot me? Of course it does.”

“I mean the healing. Did I not do a good job? What kind of healing do you need?”

“For the next time I’m shot? I need rest. And blood. And more rest. So I’m going to take a nap wrapped in your chicken feathers. Sh. And you can nap to recover from your flight.”

“But if we’re both napping, who is watching for assassins?”

“Mitt and Hallie.” Hallelujah! “I like her.”

“You like everyone. Even that fairy. I should tell you, for the sake of full disclosure, that he’s not actually Italian.”

I snorted. “Of course he’s not Italian. He uses the wrong accent. But it’s his brand.”

“You know all about accents?”

“Obviously. I was raised by the Scholar. I speak 15 non dead languages, and I can translate…”

“Sh,” he whispered against my ear, his breath warm and tickly. “Don’t speak of translating or we’ll have to pluck out your eyeballs. I should hire you as my ambassador. You could buy ballgowns for all the events, and speak to all the diplomats.”

“Oh, yes. I’m notoriously good at being charming and gracious.” I closed my eyes, smiling, and let the boat rock while his heart beat steadily, sending me to sleep.

Chapter

Eleven

Iwoke up from a weird dream, like my arm was on fire, distantly throbbing on and on and on until I blinked awake and sat up. I was still in the boat, but there was a cloud over the sun, and the boat was drifting in the center of the pond.

Richard was still there, lounging with his glorious wings, looking like the spread in some magazine titled: Hot Angel. Speaking of hot, my elbow burned in real life. I frowned down at it, stretching out and twisting so I could see my inner elbow where it really burned.

“Are you all right, Princess?”

I looked at him, so perfectly beautiful and delicious, and then something wrapped around my extended wrist and yanked me over the edge of the boat and into the water.

The shock of cold, the pressure all around, and the grip on my wrist bone as I was dragged down by the tentacled monster, was panic-inducing. Seriously, now I was getting tentacled assassins? I didn’t like it.

I slashed with my claws while I struggled to hold my breath, but another tentacle came around my waist, then around my throat, then, all of me, until I was in the full-bodied grasp of a pulsing worm. I was on my own, and underwater I couldn’t do spells. I channeled my vampire, ripping off tentacles, but more took their place.

I struggled and strained, but I was running out of air, and I needed more blood to replenish my vampire side.

Black specks filled my vision while pressure on my throat increased. Would the sea monster crush it?

Though the murky water, a bright light shone, brighter and brighter and brighter while my arm burned until with a hiss and a crackle, the water evaporated, and then the monster screamed.

Tentacles shriveled and bubbled in the overwhelming heat. Heavenly fire. Richard was going to burn the pond? And then he was there, carrying me up with steady beats of his enormous wings, but the edges weren’t tipped in soft downy fluff but sharp blades of fire and gold.

I clung to him while he flew me, shivering, gasping, heart beating too hard in my chest, back to my cottage. No, he was going directly to the castle. He burst through a window and landed in the library, shards of glass surrounding the Siren, Pearly White where he sat on the red velvet couch, looking cold and irritable.

“So that’s where you’ve been. I wanted you to do an interview,” he told Richard.

“A tentacled sea creature just tried to kill the Princess. Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you,” Richard growled, baring his teeth in a truly terrifying grin.

Pearly White gave his own scary smile. “Do you honestly think I’d kill off my main contestant when this show is getting better ratings than anything else I’ve ever done? Nonsense. If I were going to kill her, I’d wait for the show’s conclusion. And even then, I wouldn’t because I’m not an assassin. If I kill someone, it’s going to be right out where everyone can see it.”

Like the time he’d eaten that one guy. I patted Richard’s shoulder. “I believe him. Also, how could he have controlled the monster when he was all the way in here? Don’t they have to be in line of sight? That’s what the Tortizi text says.”

The Siren swung his smile in my direction. “What do you know about the Tortizi text? No one can read that language.”

I blinked at him. “I wouldn’t say no one. It’s not common knowledge, but there are translators who specialize in lost, dead languages.” And sometimes they make you figure out the code for this week’s lesson. Sultry was so good at that.

Richard set me down and flew back out the window, heading back to the lake. Ah. Because whoever had done that would have been in the monster’s line-of-sight.

Pearly White stood, eyed the glass and then began a spell that shimmered in the air until with a clink all the glass returned to the window frame where it had been.

“I don’t suppose you know precisely what kind of sea monster it was,” he said, going over to the fire and stretching out his hands like he was cold. Cold-blooded, probably not cold.

“I do not specialize in sea monsters.” I followed him to the fire, although my dress was only wet in spots. Richard had really vaporized the water and the sea monster. How was I not dead?

My inner elbow throbbed, and I looked at the golden star flower on my skin. I’d dreamed about it, but what if it hadn’t been a dream? What if—crazy thought—Richard had put some kind of spell on me to make me impervious to his heavenly flame. I mean, if you think about how many times he’d had to use heavenly flames around me, and considering how dangerous it was…that almost made sense. But you never put a spell on someone else without their consent. It just wasn’t done. Then again, Richard did all sorts of things that weren’t done.

Pearly White cleared his throat. “For the ceremony, we’ll give you two red roses instead of white, because we aren’t voting anyone off since we’re short one contestant. You’ll dance with each one and then give a flower to the one with the best baking, and the one you want to stay.”

I nodded, but I wasn’t really listening. When was Richard going to come back? I waited in the library for twenty minutes before I decided to check the kitchen. Rafe was there chugging down some disgusting shake.

I backed out before he saw me and then headed to the cottage. I didn’t want to run into any other contestants. Two red roses? Obviously, Richard had won the baking competition. But I felt bad for Banus, being wrongfully accused and then Richard stealing his pants. I guess those were my two roses. The fairy hadn’t tried to heal anyone when they were supposed to be good healers.

When I got to the cottage, I noticed the smoke coming from the chimney. Did Mitt make a fire?

I went in slowly, and there was Richard with a woman with tentacle hair on my happily overstuffed couch, wrapped from chin to toe in glowing golden rope.

“I found the assassin,” Richard said, not taking his eyes off her. “She claims not to know who hired her.”

“Oh, good! Then she doesn’t have to die! Hi! I’m Katriana. How long have you been working with tentacled monsters? How do you transport them? That would be so hard! And can you make them do things other than killing or are they specially trained for that? I’d pay to see a tentacled monster juggle.”

She blinked at me. “You’re the vampire princess? You should be more afraid. The price on your life is very high.”

“High enough to tempt an angel?” I glanced at Richard.

He winked at me. “No. I’m incorruptible.”

“That’s right. You just corrupt yourself. Should we give her to Pearly White? He looked hungry.”

The woman shuddered. “I deserve a trial.”

“You are having your trial,” Richard said with an icy smile that gave me shivers.

I walked to the fire, rubbing my arms. Maybe it wasn’t the smile. Maybe it was everything else. And I was exhausted. I needed to drink some blood.

I slowly turned back to the woman. Sometimes you could hear the thoughts of a living blood donor. “Is your blood toxic to me?”

She blinked and shook her head. “I’m not a blood sack!”

“But maybe I can drink your thoughts, and then we’d know for certain whether or not you know who’s behind these stupid attacks. Honestly, can’t you find a better way to make money that isn’t so…vile? That’s got to be animal abuse.” Thinking about the evaporated tentacle beast made me queasy.

She stared at me like she’d only just realized that I was, in fact, a vampire and not just some insipid little princess. What had Banus said, inconsequential and foolish? I smiled at her sweetly.

“Don’t drink her blood if you don’t want to. I can torture her into speaking,” Richard said with great confidence.

I shivered again. “I need blood, and it will save you from torturing someone. I know how you hate torturing people with anything other than your personality.”

He wrinkled his nose at me. “Actually, I would be honored and delighted to torture someone who tried to kill you.”

I beamed at him. “Aw, so sweet. I’m starting to think that you don’t want me to die.” I turned back to the woman, keeping my smile. “If you struggle, your arm will be more damaged.”

I took her hand, stretching it out while she pulled and twisted in the rope’s grasp like she wanted me to shred her skin. My vampire could smell the blood and knew it was going to feed, so it gave me strength. I buried my face in her arm and pulled out her blood as fast as I could. Blood loss would weaken her will, and that was key to mind control. I’d never liked doing it, but it was important to develop all your talents if you were the Scholar’s ward.

Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, panic, disappointment, fear, but not of me and Richard. She was terrified of whoever had given out the job, because failing came with really harsh repercussions. No wonder the other assassin had killed himself. The client would kill her entire family for her failure. She had suspicions as to who it was, a wealthy ancient vampire, or a secret organization that fought against anomalies like me. A born vampire? How revolting! I didn’t deserve to live!

I pulled out of her thoughts while I dropped her arm, her blood thick and heavy in my mouth. My emotions tumbled around like laundry in the drier. Which way was up? I stumbled around until Richard put his hands on my shoulders, holding me in place, golden gaze piercing me through.

“Are you all right?”

I blinked at him. “Of course I’m all right. I’m just not the best at reading minds, so I get a little nauseous and dizzy. She doesn’t know who hired her, but she thinks it’s an ancient powerful vampire or a secret society that wipes out things like me. Also, they’ll destroy her whole family once they know she’s failed.”

“Not the best? That sounds positively perfect.” He glanced over at the tentacle-haired woman.

Her tentacles twined and lashed along with her glare. “You shouldn’t be allowed to live,” she hissed at me.

I shrugged. “That’s the weird thing about life. No one allows or doesn’t allow it. It just is. You can kill someone, but that doesn’t disallow life. It just ends it.” I wrapped my arms around Richard’s waist and pressed my cheek to his chest. “Can you please take her somewhere justice will be involved? I don’t like her. So judgy. And I need to take a hot bath and toss another dress. I really liked this one. I might cry about it.” I might cry about a lot of things.

He pressed a kiss to my hair and just held me for a few seconds before he pulled away and gave me a hard smile. “I can definitely throw her to justice. There’s an angel with that name. He’s an executioner, but I won’t tell you that part.” He wiggled his brows.

I snickered. “Thank you for not telling me. I really appreciate you being so sensitive with my feelings.”

“I’m notorious for being sensitive with people’s feelings.”

We grinned at each other and then he stepped back, grabbed the woman and marched her out of my cottage, leaving me staring after him with a twisting ache in my stomach.

My bath was glorious, except that my elbow kept pulsing. Not hurting so much as throbbing that seemed to fade, but not fast enough. Maybe the protection rune would last until the show was over. I could deal with that.

I should confront Richard and tell him that it wasn’t okay to rune someone without their permission while they were napping in your chicken feathers, but the longer I spent away from him, the more it felt like the entire situation was madness. I couldn’t nap with someone, particularly someone as impetuous as him without him doing something insane. And if he hadn’t runed me, I’d probably be dead at the bottom of the pond. And then I’d rise a vampire and probably kill everyone. This was way better. Almost logical. But he should have asked me first. And I shouldn’t have put down my guard with him. Yes, he was SunRae, but he was also Richard the Lion who had problems dealing with his boredom in constructive ways. Thinking about it in that light, it was a miracle that he hadn’t done something worse.

Really, what had I been thinking, napping with someone like him? I hadn’t been thinking. I’d just been delighted to play with someone as crazy as myself and hadn’t thought about anything at all. At least I knew what he wanted in an angel. Someone who wouldn’t hate him if he lied. He really shouldn’t lie, or rune people without their consent. Seriously. The Scholar might put effort into killing him for something like that. Then again, it had saved my life. Hopefully the spell faded quickly. And hopefully people got tired of sending assassins. It was all very well to say that he was indestructible, but he felt pain. Probably. Maybe not. I’d have to do research.

And by me doing research, I meant Libby. She didn’t tell the Scholar every little thing, and to her, confidentiality was sacred.

I called her up while I was still in the tub. Not surprisingly, it went to messages. She was probably working with a tricky tome and couldn’t get away. “Hey, Libby. It’s me, the born vampire. I was wondering if you could look something up for me. Specifically runes that could protect you from heavenly fire. Specifically how long such runes would last. Also, do you know anything about a guild that would want to kill me because I’m so evil or whatever? And how would you convince them that I’m not? It’s either that or a big bad vampire who’s ancient and psycho. Or maybe not psycho, but he does make a point of killing the families of every assassin who takes the job and fails. Kind of lame if you asked me. But that’s—” My phone beeped.

“Mailbox full.”

I sighed and hung up. I should text Richard, but I’d do that tomorrow. I didn’t want to come across as needy. And I wanted information about the runes before I talked to him. Knowledge was power, or so the Scholar always said.

I did my beauty routines and went to bed early, tossing and turning while the memory of feathers and warmth haunted me.

In the morning I had a message from Libby, no posts or messages from SunRae.

“Hey born vampire. It’s the angel/demon/librarian. I know a bit about heavenly fire, having studied it extensively. Angelic blood is the only immunity to it. Runes don’t work. You can hold up a shield spell for a certain amount of time determined by your amount of magic, which can be enhanced by runes, but runes aren’t protections. Not that I know every rune mark, but I do know heavenly fire. It’s the most dangerous stuff for a reason. As for secret assassin societies, I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. That’s actually an idea. If I took the commission, then I could report you dead, and get paid, so we could track the payment. Hmmm. I’ll have to talk to Michael about it. Maybe some other people. Seriously, that’s a lot of hits for one person. I can’t remember the last time a target was so popular. Stay safe. Have fun. And avoid heavenly fire.”

My phone beeped, message over.

I frowned at my inner elbow where it still pulsed and where I could still see the fire flower outline. It was such a delicate rune, very intricate and pretty. If it wasn’t to protect me from heavenly fire, what did it do?

I was going to have to ask Hallie. If Richard didn’t want her to know what he was doing, then he needed to talk to me about it. You couldn’t just rune someone without their consent. I don’t care how idiotic and suicidal you were, it just wasn’t done.

Chapter

Twelve

Iwas wearing the prettiest pink dress with a corset bodice over the base layer and its soft puffed sleeves. The skirt was mid-calf, and the whole thing swished very prettily. My ringlets were perfect, my makeup was solid, and Richard hadn’t shown up all morning, so I could really focus on my beauty routine. Good. Hopefully he wasn’t still wearing Banus’s pants. Poor Banus.

When I saw Hallie at the castle door, I linked my arm in hers and beamed at her. “Hallie! Can I talk to you for a minute?”

She looked around and then nodded. I was early so Pearly White wouldn’t send someone to yell at me. “Of course, Princess Katriana. What can I do for you?”

So stiff and formal. What did that mean? Nothing good. “It won’t take long, I just wondered if you knew what this was for.” I pushed up my sleeve so she could see the fire flower on my skin.

She glanced at it, indifferent, then her eyes widened and she leaned closer, blowing on it slowly so it came to life, all golden and glowing. She pulled me into an empty room and turned to cross her arms and glare at me. “What did you do?”

I stared at her, for a second at loss for words. I blinked and then folded my arms and lifted my chin. “I know I shouldn’t have fallen asleep around someone so diabolical, but I was tired from the heart healing, and that’s when he…” I frowned down at the fading rune. “I don’t know what he did. That’s why I’m asking you.”

“Oh.” Her voice was flat, and she took two steps away from me, hand going to the pommel of her sword. “I see. He life-bound you to him while you were sleeping? Without your consent? That shouldn’t be possible. And it’s certainly not legal. You can’t life-bind someone without getting approval.”

“And I definitely didn’t approve.”

“Not your approval.” She sighed heavily and looked in pain. “The Commander’s. He’s supposed to perform the ceremony. No one else is supposed to be able to do it, but of course Richard could, and if he can do something, then that’s permission, right? Wrong!”

Her words finally registered. “Life-bound? What do you mean, life-bound?!”

“Your life is his. As in, if you die, he dies, and vice-versa. He must have been tired of all the assassination attempts, and since he’s impossible to kill, he could give some of that immunity to you, but that would also give some of your mortality to him. And everyone wants to kill him. So now he’s vulnerable when he doesn’t need vulnerability. Then again, it’s probably heavenly justice. He punishes himself with his own pride and arrogance. No one else could kill him, so he will kill himself.”

I grabbed her arm, denting her armor before I managed to stop the vampire from being so strong. “Wait, he bound his life to mine, as in if I die, he dies, even though I have assassination attempts like every day? Is he that stupid?”

She shrugged helplessly. “What else could it be?”

“But it’s not allowed. The Commander won’t allow it! So we just tell him and he can reverse it, and then I can beat Richard up for being so stupid!”

She blinked at me.

I shook her arm. “What? You call the Commander and tell him what his son did, and then he’ll fix it. He doesn’t want his son to die, and he broke the rule.”

“I don’t call the Commander.”

“But you’re an angel.”

“I report to my captain, and they report to whoever, and they report to whoever, and eventually it’ll get to the Commander unless it doesn’t, because…” She wrinkled her nose and then leaned close to whisper in my ear, “You don’t want to get the Commander’s attention. It’s not a good idea, or he’ll put you in a growth position.”

“Growth position?”

“One that stretches your abilities. It’s good, of course, but it’s also very difficult, and painful, and best to be avoided if at all possible.”

I dropped her arm and stepped back, nodding and trying not to stomp my foot or scream. “I see. Thank you for explaining your position so clearly. You’re afraid of the Commander.”

She nodded soberly. “He’s like Richard only terrifying.”

“Got it. Are there any angels that aren’t afraid of him?”

“No, but Gavriel seems to navigate his growth position fairly well. And he’s recently married to the lovely Louisa, Ever Storm’s daughter.”

I blinked at her. Louisa my butt. Ruby Blood was the vampire involved with the pretty angel. They’d brought her back to life, but she was one of the finest assassins in the world before that. I’d seen her in the lab when the Scholar had personally given her blood bags, calming her down so she didn’t tear up everything. And everyone. But the angels didn’t focus on who she’d been, only on the positive. Still, I could probably get in contact with her, and as a former vampire, she might have sympathy for me.

I nodded and smiled. “Perfect. I’m so glad he’s found his happiness. Too bad Richard can’t because he’s so stupid!”

I whirled around and left the room, heart thrumming with absolute rage. What kind of an idiot binds their life to someone constantly threatened by death? Was he seriously suicidal? I was going to kill him for that. No, I was going to vote him off the show. I didn’t get a white rose? Then I’d make my own. Small magic. I’d make it white as snow and cold as ice. How dare he?!

I walked into the grand hall, Rafe on the right stairs below Richard, and Banus on the left staircase with Monterose. It was a pretty stupid name. Did he expect another rose? He wasn’t going to get one. Maybe I wouldn’t give anyone a red rose, except for Banus because he was a victim of Richard’s stupidity. Who steals another man’s pants?

I focused on Richard and noticed what he was wearing. Ruffles! Cuffs and collar. And his pants had a subtle floral print in golden embroidery thread over dark red. He wore a golden sword and looked polished for the first time, like a golden prince in a storybook instead of a war angel in concave armor, or a bodyguard in borrowed pants. And he’d bought those things himself, because he didn’t actually need me to buy a fairytale wardrobe for him. And he hadn’t sent me a picture so I could be sure to match. I had a pink dress with dark red trim that would be perfect, but no! What an idiot!

I smiled while Pearly White went through his spiel.

“Here we are, on the second week of the ultimate competition. Who will win the Princess’s heart? Will it be Monterose Fellicci, whose recent solo went viral? Or will it be Hughenot Raferty, the wolf with charm in spades? Will it be Banus Jones, the billionaire charmer who was the victim of someone we won’t mention? Or, ladies and gentlemen, will it be the angel, Richard the Lion, who has rescued our damsel not once, not twice, but three times from the fates of death? This week since we’ve already lost another candidate, our Princess will be giving out two red roses, one to the winner of the baking competition, and one to whoever has won her heart. Is it possible that one candidate will get two red roses?” He smiled at the camera and then gestured me forward.

I smiled as I walked to the vase, took out two roses, and then headed left. Banus deserved a rose, and so did Richard. I walked up the steps past Monterose and then stopped to smile at the surprised incubus and hold out the rose.

“Seems we have an unexpected change of heart,” Pearly White said in undertone meant for the audience and not me.

Banus took the rose and gave me a half bow and a soft smile. “Thank you Princess.”

I kept walking past him, twisting the rose and muttering a changing spell. The rose froze, turning white and crystalline as I walked to the landing above then continued down the other side where Richard watched me come with half-lidded eyes. Bored, was he? I slapped the rose to his chest, icy white and hardened.

“And for you the white rose. Congratulations on winning two weeks in a row.” I bared my hardest smile at him. With fangs.

His eyes narrowed slightly, but he only covered the stem, holding the bloom over his heart while he inclined his head ever so slightly in acceptance.

I continued down past him while Rafe guffawed incredibly attractively and held up a hand for me to slap. I ignored it, because I was too angry and I might accidentally rip off his arm. Then I’d beat Richard with it. How dare he put his life at risk for no reason? Maybe I should turn vampire now. Would that break the binding? I wanted to break his face. But he wouldn’t mind that. Didn’t even mind the public humiliation. What would make a dent to someone so incredibly bull-headedly dumb?

I took my place beside Pearly White who gave me a smile and then focused on the camera. “Unfortunately, since we’ve already lost a candidate, the white rose doesn’t apply. However, Princess, your feelings are noted. And now for a dance with our red rose winner. Banus, come down and show the world how it’s done.”

Pearly White started clapping while the incubus started and then came forward.

Richard vaulted over the stairs and landed as graceful as a cat right beside me. He smelled so good. I was so angry at him! He’d tucked the ice rose behind his ear again like a prize.

“I believe the one voted off gets a dance, but since Spinnera couldn’t make it, I suppose I’ll have to take his place.”

Richard grabbed my hand and spun me around, ending close against his chest, so I could glare up into those annoyingly bright eyes.

“How dare you?” I hissed.

“How dare I? How dare you? Pearly White is going to lecture you for breaking his program. I’m sure you have a very good reason for it. I’m the only completely unreasonable person here. Other than Fellicci who actually turned down a chance to duet with you so he could solo?” He tsked. “Now that’s madness.”

I glowered. “You life-bound us.”

He blinked, a moment’s startled unease before it vanished behind apathetic indifference. “Is that so bad?”

“I’ve had over a dozen assassination attempts recently. You’re tying your life to someone on the brink of death. And for what? Eventually I’m going to turn. You’re supposed to be my friend who can put me out of my misery, but if you die, you’re dead. Permanent. The end! Why would you do something so stupid?”

He stared at me and missed a beat before he pulled me closer and frowned. “Oh. I didn’t think about that.” He spun me out and in before turning and dipping me so my ringlets brushed the floor.

“Cut,” Pearly White said, and I broke out of Richard’s hold and stalked towards the kitchen.

“You ignored my instructions,” Pearly White called after me.

“Because they were stupid. Also, it’s my life. I’ll vote how I like.”

I marched down the hall, heart beating too fast. Richard didn’t think of that? Seriously? What was wrong with his brain? I should take him to the lab and dissect him so I could see. Maybe he had parasites or something making him so incomprehensibly idiotic.

I stopped when I realized I was in the kitchen. I didn’t need to be where he baked. I turned to leave, and there was Richard, blocking the door, looking like a Prince Charming who would burn you to ashes.

“Move.”

He raised a brow and then leaned against the doorway, blocking me even more obviously. “I want to talk to you.”

“How could you be so stupid?”

He smiled. “It’s a gift. How could you be so adorable? I love your dress.”

I glared at him. We could have matched if he’d bothered to tell me what he was wearing, but no. He hadn’t messaged me as SunRae since he bound his life to my death. Idiot.

I crossed my arms and turned, raising my nose in the air. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Sure you do. You can tell me all the ways I’m stupid. It sounds like you could go on for days, counting all the ways.” He batted his lashes at me, like we were joking.

I glowered at him. We were not joking. He didn’t care if I insulted him, or humiliated him, or sucked his blood. What would he mind? I couldn’t think of anything until I remembered the thing about angels having no desire.

I grabbed his head, gripping it tight like I might rip it off his neck and take it bowling.

He raised his eyebrows, mildly amused and then I pressed my lips hard to his, kissing him as thoroughly as possible. Of course, I’d only kissed a few people, none of them more than once, quick pecks that were absolutely forgettable. But he’d have no idea I was the worst kisser in the history of the world. He’d just be horrified and offended because I was messing with his purity or whatever and then…

He came to life against me, hand circling my waist and securing me to him. His head bent over me, lips caressing mine, breath mingling, tasting of spice cake. Did he make spice cake and not tell me about it?

His lips were so soft and sweet. Who cared about spice cake when I could taste him? I lost my mind after that. I kissed him because he was my breath, my life, my soul. And he tasted so, mind-meltingly good.

“Agh! Can’t you two get a room?” Rafe exclaimed, his squeal at the beginning and low growl at the end breaking through the happy haze.

I threw myself away from Richard, heart beating too fast, breath coming in gasps and starts while my lips burned. He smiled at me, relaxed, comfortable with this entire situation, including the witness who pushed past us to go to the blender and mix his elixir.

I pointed at Richard, opened my mouth to say something, then turned and hurried out before I started throwing things. Did nothing faze him? And how long was I going to feel like this, all soft and warm and aching? Romantic. That’s how I was feeling. But that was the stupidest thing in the world. He was SunRae, my best friend, but he was also painfully stupid, and he’d need my help finding his purpose because he was too busy being distracted from the pain of being an angel on earth. Kissing me must fall on the spectrum of crazy things he did to distract from the boredom. I should have realized it wouldn’t bother him. Nothing did. Did I have to actually die for him to realize his mistake? What else was there?

The Commander was my only hope. He’d break this life binding, and penalize Richard in some way that he hated, maybe keeping him from fighting in the wars. He’d be forced to spend his life on the sidelines baking animal cakes. That would serve him right. I hoped he died of boredom.

I called Sultry as I walked.

“Hello, Katriana. Is something wrong?”

“You have access to the Scholar’s files, right? Doesn’t he have Ruby Blood’s phone number since that time she came to the lab for blood?”

She was quiet for a minute. “What do you want an assassin for? I saw the live broadcast of the show. I don’t think she could kill the angel, so you’d just be throwing away good money.”

I bristled at the mention of the most annoying angel in the world who was so stupidly suicidal. “I want a consultation. She’s so good at assassination, so she’s probably great at seeing them coming. I’m getting so sick of it.”

She sounded relieved. “That’s a great idea. I’ll text the number to you as soon as I have it. How are you doing with this competition? You looked slightly on edge tonight.”

I snorted. “I’m fine. Just living my best pastel princess life.”

“I was surprised that you gave a rose to the incubus. Be careful with him.”

“It’s just because Richard stole his pants. He’s such an idiot.”

“The angel stole the incubus’ pants? I see. Did he steal the fairies pants this week? His outfit was kind of…”

“I don’t think the fairy’s pants would fit him. He’s got strong legs from walking around in full body armor. The fairy has toothpick legs.”

“Agreed, the angel is very nicely muscular.”

“I didn’t say that! I said he’s an idiot who walks around in armor. Anyway, as soon as you get that number I’d appreciate it. Bye!” I hung up before I could start screaming. I hurried to my cottage to change out of my dress before something terrible happened to it. I took a bunch of photos and did a few fit posts. One point two million followers? Five thousand messages? And one from SunRae.

It was a few pictures of me with Pearly White at the bottom of the stairs. I looked very pastel princess to Pearly’s slicked-back shark. I looked weak and vulnerable. Is that how Richard saw me, looking down on me and thinking how weak I was? I should have ripped off his head and gone bowling with it. I never should have kissed him because…

I threw myself across my bed as dramatic as Fellicci and let myself remember the press of Richard’s lips, the warmth of his hand on my back, his chest against mine. So strong, so alive, and seeming so very hungry for me.

My cheeks heated as I ached in the weirdest way. It was only a kiss, but it burned like heavenly fire all the way to my soul. It was probably the binding messing with us. Stupid Angel.

My phone buzzed with a text. I rolled over and grabbed it, wanting it to be Richard.

It was a phone number from Sultry. Right. I needed to cut this binding out of me before I got my bestie killed. That was more important than getting all stupid about some meaningless revenge kiss.

I called the number before I could rethink.

It rang and rang and just as I was about to give up, someone answered. She was clipped, no-nonsense, and wary.

“Who is this? I don’t have your number.”

“Oh! Hi! Is this Ruby Blood? I mean Louisa. I mean, whichever you prefer. I’m wondering if I could talk to you for a minute about some things. I’m a born vampire on this reality tv show, and I have so many questions about angels.” Specifically if she could talk to the Commander for me.

“The dating show with Richard? Do you want me to help you kill him? It would take a lot of help, but I’ve narrowed it down to a few distinct possibilities.”

I gave a strangled laugh. “That’s so silly! No, I just needed to get a message to his dad. The Commander.”

She was quiet for a long time. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Right. But it’s the only idea I have, and it’s not like I’m part of his army, so I don’t have to worry about him putting me in any growth positions.”

Her voice came from a distance. “Gavriel, where is the Commander right now? Having dinner with Miracle in Singsong City? At the fancy Sushi restaurant? Well there you go,” she said, her voice coming close again. “He’s at the sushi restaurant outside the golden wall on the river. If you want to see him, you can crash his dinner.”

I froze. “That seems really rude.”

“I mean, sure. But you’ve been on a dating show with his son. Rude is the least of what he deserves for letting such a vile child live past infancy.”

I gasped. That was so mean! It wasn’t Richard’s fault he was so stupid. “I think the Commander should be sainted for putting up with Richard, not condemned for not executing him. Seriously!”

“I’m pretty sure the Commander has been sainted. If not, it’s likely in the works.” She hung up, like that conversation was done and she could go back to whatever with her angel. How did their relationship work out, exactly? There was probably kissing. Like Richard who had no business knowing how to kiss me like that.

No! I wasn’t thinking about that kiss ever again. My cheeks burned as I pulled on an outfit with little kittens all over the skirt and shrug and put on my pink shoes. I headed towards the car area, sure Mitt would appear.

He did, along with Hallie. Hallelujah!

“Where are you going, Princess?” Mitt growled.

“To the sushi place on the river. I’m dying for sushi.”

“You could have it delivered.”

“But then I wouldn’t be there. I need to ogle the bartender merman. I should have had a merman on the show, but it would be weird with logistics, carrying around a big tub of water everywhere.”

“Mermen have legs when they’re not in the water,” Hallie informed me, like I wasn’t aware. Sometimes she was so literal. It was so cute. Maybe Richard really would like her, I just needed to help her not mind his imperfections. And there were so many of them.

We got all got in the car. I drove, Hallie in the back, and Mitt in the passenger’s seat. He didn’t look happy about it, but that was normal for him.

I drove down the narrow drive, then turned onto a state road and started making better time. If I was going to get to the sushi place before they left, I’d have to speed. I put my foot on the gas and took off.

Chapter

Thirteen

“Angels are here,” Hallie said as I pulled into the first available parking spot I could find. There weren’t a lot of spaces, not on a Friday evening at the most popular restaurant in Singsong City.

“What a coincidence. And so are we.” I shot her a big smile while she frowned back at me.

“You can’t just crash an angelic function. You’ll be killed.”

“Then so will Richard. Win-win.”

Mitt gave me a look, but he followed at a distance.

I hurried towards the lit patio with charming bright lanterns bobbing above the crowd. There were some angels along the walk, but none sitting, at least not in ostentatious gold armor. I went directly to the bartender merman and leaned on the bar between two people who gave me scrunched noses and sneers.

I ignored them as I gave the gorgeous merman a pleading look. For all his cut cheekbones and luminous eyes, he didn’t hold a candle to Richard. “Hi! Can you help me? I need to talk to the Music Master immediately. It’s about next week’s duets. I’m on a reality TV show, and I need to talk to her before Pearly White ruins everything!” I summoned some tears so they could stick in my lashes and sell the whole helpless damsel thing more effectively. Mermen were always soft-hearted about princesses in distress in the stories. Sirens just ate them.

“She’s in a private room with company,” he said, frowning like he didn’t trust me.

“Can I pop in for just a second? I won’t take long, I promise!” I batted my lashes at him.

He tilted his head as he studied me. “I saw your show tonight. You’re still rejecting the angel, hm? I suppose you need some help with that. Second floor, fourth door on the left. If they kill you, that’s on you.”

I beamed at him. “Thanks so much!”

I hurried to the inside hall and the stairs that went up around the open central courtyard with tables and fountains and other charming things. The smell of hot rice and fresh sushi made my mouth water. Maybe I’d actually get sushi on my way out.

I hurried up the stairs, and then when I got to the right door, I opened it and went in like I was a suicidal idiot, exactly like Richard.

Three swords touched my throat as I stood, one foot in the room, the other out, hand on the doorknob, and very, very aware of the death about to skewer me with those gleaming blades. An angel was on the end of every one. Cold. Incorruptible. Ready to slay the evil vampire.

I cleared my throat but didn’t move a muscle. “Sorry to interrupt, but I wondered if I could have a word with the Commander.”

The blades pressed closer, but nothing quite broke the skin.

“Yes, yes!” the music master, Mirabel cried, pulling one of the angels back so I was only two swords to death. “Come in! You’re an answer to my prayers! I was desperately hoping that someone would interrupt my father from his lecture about how I needed to get on with giving him grandchildren. Seriously!” She yanked another angel back and then pulled me around the last sword, dragging me to a chair with a plate in front of it, then she took another chair from the edge of the room and sat down next to the Commander, so both of them could stare at me.

The Commander looked like Richard, only older, wiser, and epically more powerful. It wasn’t the power of greater magic or might, but the power of responsibility and duty. Purpose was power for an angel.

“I’ll make it quick,” I said, tugging up my sleeve and holding out my arm so they could see the rune mark on my inner elbow. “Can you please undo this?”

The Commander stared at my face for another moment before he bent down to peer at my arm. With a shake of his head he pulled out a pair of spectacles, placed them on his nose and then continued to look at my elbow.

“That’s the prettiest life-binding I’ve ever seen,” Mirabel said. “Most of them are basic stamps, but that’s a work of art. It must have taken hours.”

I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know how long it took.”

The Commander’s eyes snapped to mine, glowing with a hint of gold around the nimbus of his eye. “You don’t know how long it took? You’re saying that my son life-bound you when you were unconscious? That’s a deed worthy of death!” His voice boomed.

Death?! I flinched and held up my hands. “No, no, I wasn’t unconscious, just asleep.” And he knew that his son was responsible without me telling him, because no one else could have done it.

Mirabel’s eyes widened. “My brother snuck into your room like a creepy stalker and did spells on you? Definitely worthy of death. Maybe dismemberment first.”

I shook my head rapidly. What was wrong with these people? Didn’t they love Richard at least as much as I did? I wanted him to face consequences, but not death! That was the whole point of this, to save him from linking his life with mine and ending up dead. “No, not like that. I was napping with him in a boat. His feathers are really soft, and the sunshine was so nice, and he was so warm, so I dozed off. I mean, the boat was rocking, and I’d recently had my heart shot and healed, so I needed rest and recovery. He didn’t do anything inappropriate other than the runes.”

“Life-binding,” the Commander corrected with a slight smile. “No, not inappropriate, just illegal. Peculiar that you’d trust someone you’ve known for a week to nap with them. Aren’t vampires usually more wary than that?”

And now I felt like an idiot. What was I thinking napping with Richard when I knew he had personality issues? “I’m a born vampire. I also tend to be trusting, but it’s not like that, either. We’ve been best friends online for five years.”

“Best friends online?” Mirabel blinked at me. “I didn’t know Richard knew what online was.”

I beamed at her, hoping to diffuse some of their willingness to execute their own family. “Oh, sure. He apparently uses his main account to lure assassins and conspirators, but he also has this pet baking account for his own personal enjoyment. You don’t know about his animal baking?”

“The pans,” the Commander said with a short nod. “I certainly know about the pans. He’s filled up the cottage with pans. And he’s started putting them around in the other rooms. He needs his own house. I keep telling him that he needs his own house, but he says he’s not home enough to bother. But the pans…” He shook his head looking mournful. He narrowed his eyes on me, but not angry, more trying to understand as he leaned his hands on the table and peered at me. “So you’ve known him for five years as this pet baker? Did you know he was my son?”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to tell them that he’d been lying for five years, because lying is death, and all that, but then I’d be lying. Lying to the Commander seemed like a good way to die.

“I thought he was a girl, SunRae.”

“Because otherwise, you could have been doing duets together all this time,” Mirabel said, also leaning forward. It was a bit like staring down two vultures. Lion vultures.

I nodded and smiled at her. Time to change the subject. “I wonder if I could talk to you about next week’s musical theme. I mean, after the Commander removes the life-binding. The baking was a disaster, and not just because of the poisoning. These people all are in desperate need of direction.”

“Other than Fellicci and my brother. You should get Pearly White to sing, too.” She started smiling wickedly. “I’m already getting bad ideas. Can I plug Singsong’s musical academy?”

“Of course! Anyway, can you please remove it?” I asked, focusing on the Commander, Richard’s father.

The Commander frowned at my arm and took it in his hands, peering at the rune until it glowed as golden lines chased over and under my skin. “It is very pretty. Miracle is right about that. You don’t want to be life-bound to my son? Of course not. He’s a menace, but usually life-bindings requires the will and desire of both parties in order to take. I don’t understand how Richard could entirely ignore your will in the matter when you want nothing to do with him.”

“I don’t want nothing to do with him. Maybe it’s because I drank his blood while he healed me that one time. Oh, and I’ve known him so long, so we’re best friends forever, and I never want to lose him. But I’m a born vampire. Eventually I’m going to die and turn, and he’s going to have to kill me. He can’t do that if he’s life-bound to me, can he? And the assassination attempts are getting weirder and more often. I don’t even ask Mitt how many attempts there are anymore because I don’t want to focus on it, and it’s so many. Richard’s made my weakness his. How is that okay when so many people want to kill him without being paid for it?”

The Commander and Mirabel leaned back, glanced at each other and then nodded at me.

“That is difficult,” Mirabel said. “I mean, if he dies, then what are you supposed to do? You’ll be a vampire, and he’ll be dead, dead. Someone with his angel blood couldn’t turn, even if you got someone skilled like the Scholar to do it.”

I gestured at her. “Exactly!”

“And how can you be best online friends with him for the rest of your life if he’s dead?” The Commander asked, shaking his head. “The trouble, my dear…What is your name?”

“Oh. Sorry! I’m Katriana. Do you have a name? Everyone just calls you Commander.”

He beamed at me. “I’m Richard, of course. Richard the seventh. It’s a family name from a human my great-great-great-great⁠—”

Mirabel elbowed him hard, cutting him off. “Don’t get him started on family history, or you’ll never get out of here,” she hissed at me. “Oh! Have you eaten? Hope, will you please run down and get an order for her?”

An angel with flinty eyes nodded and left the room, closing the door silently behind her. I’d forgotten about the angelic guard. These two people were predators who needed no guards. Or witnesses.

“I don’t want to interrupt you more than I already have,” I said, half rising.

“But you already did, so you’ll have to stay for the rest of the meal. We can talk about music, and you can tell me more about this pet baking thing. Does he make chicken cakes?”

Right. She had a pet chicken. “I think he could, but he mostly bakes for his horse.”

“Pegasus,” every angel in the room said in unison.

I winced and looked around at all the angels including the two larger than life ones sitting across from me. “Right. Pegasus. He didn’t correct me.”

“Because he wants Vesper to eat you,” Mirable said. “Of course if you’re life-bound to Ritchie, then he probably won’t. Unless he’s bored.”

“Have you met his Pegasus?” the Commander asked, sounding politely curious.

I hesitated then nodded. “Yes. Vesper took me on a lovely ride to watch the sunset. He’s so beautiful.”

“Vesper took you on a ride?” Mirabel stared at me, unblinking. “I didn’t know he was capable of not killing anyone who got too close. But you’re clearly not dead. Astonishing.”

The Commander looked at her, and then cleared his throat. “Is my son’s blood poisonous to you? You shouldn’t drink his blood however good it tastes.”

“No, it’s not poisonous to me. That’s actually why I’m not dead, because I drank his blood while he did healing spells when I got shot.” It still hurt to think of Mini killing me.

Mirabel smiled dreamily. “I saw that. It was so romantic, but the whole time I was thinking that Ritchie was trying to kill you, but slowly.”

“No, I’m pretty sure he wants to keep me alive, otherwise he wouldn’t have done this life-binding thing. And how long will it take you to remove it?” I asked, looking hopefully up at the Commander. It’s almost like he didn’t want to give me an answer.

He steepled his fingers behind his chin and studied me. “I will have to do research on it. I’ve never undone a life-binding. Mostly because I’m the one who does them in the first place, and they occur after many interviews, psychological evaluations, and paperwork. So much paperwork.”

Mirabel wiggled her fingers where she had a large wedding ring. “Also marriage. I’ve never heard of a life-binding that didn’t come until after marriage. Usually at least three years to make sure the marriage is going to last.”

Marriage? Well Richard certainly broke all the rules with this one. I sat there, panicked, scrambling to think of something intelligible to say. “Oh. You do research?” I asked his father. Research seemed safe, and something in this world should be safe.

He looked like a commander, not a researcher, although he still had his glasses on and that gave him a slightly studious air.

“From time to time it is required. There’s a great library in Angel City full of tomes.”

“Texts.” Mirabel added.

“Manuscripts,” the Commander said.

“And music!” That was Mirabel. She glanced at her father. “I should visit some time.”

“With your husband.”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “Obviously with my husband. We aren’t estranged just because we haven’t had five grandchildren for you by now. And Richard is older, so he should give you grandchildren first. He’s twelve years older than me. He needs to get married.”

I nodded quickly even as my stomach twisted and I felt slightly nauseous. “I know! He needs to find his second purpose, and if he can find love at the same time, wouldn’t that be wonderful? And he’d have such beautiful angel babies. I’m thinking Hallie, I mean Hallelujah! Only she’s probably too upright for him. Do you know any angel bakers that aren’t quite so…”

Mirabel grabbed my hand. “Do you know Hallelujah? She’s not going to marry Richard. He humiliated her cousin very publicly when she showed too much interest in him. He’s like that. So rude! That whole debacle made most angels leery about him. But we could hunt down an angel with the specific attributes that he wants, and set him up on a blind date!” She thumped her dad’s shoulder. “Doesn’t that sound perfect?”

I beamed at her and grabbed her hands back. “It really does! You know so many more angels than I do, but I’m determined to find him happiness so he stops doing things that make people want to kill him. You’re perfect!”

She grinned back at me. “It’s because I’m an angel. Angels are always perfect.”

Hopefully we could find someone a little less perfect who could put up with Richard’s imperfections.

I turned back to the Commander. “How long do you think the research will take? I want to remove the binding as soon as possible.

He patted my hand. “Of course you do. Wouldn’t want to put Richard’s life at risk.” He frowned. “Although you may consider it a gift of safety from an old friend who wants you to come to no harm.”

I nodded. “I know he’s trying to protect me, but he should think through every possibility first instead of just rushing in because I happened to be sleeping right there and he was bored.”

Mirabel and the Commander exchanged glances before they smiled at me, matching smiles in sweetness and reassurance.

The Commander’s words were solemn. “And we’ll certainly have to delay the execution since it would kill you, and we can’t harm an innocent even for the sake of justice.”

I blinked at the Commander while my extremities turned cold. “Execution?”

“My son performed a life-binding against your will. The penalty is death.” The commander shrugged, like who could help these things.

I grabbed his arm, channeling too much vampire. “You wouldn’t actually execute your son!”

“Of course not,” he said with a broad smile, patting my hand, warm and reassuring. “I specifically said that we wouldn’t until after this binding has been dissolved. I wonder how many infractions we could get him for.”

“You’d testify that he bound you without your consent, right?” Mirabel said, looking at me so hopefully. Did she want her brother to die?

I stared at her and then the door opened and a waiter put a sushi boat down in front of me, big enough to partially block their stares.

I was starting to understand what Hallie meant about not getting involved with the Commander. And Mirabel was someone the entire undercity of Song avoided for a reason. I smiled at both of them while my heart beat faster. “Maybe you should take your time with the research.”

“Nonsense. I’ll make it a priority,” the Commander said then picked up a roll with chop sticks and put it on a plate that he then handed to me. “I don’t like sushi much, being an angel, but my darling Miracle adores it. Isn’t she lovely?” He beamed at her, and she beamed back at him.

“I’m still not going to have babies just for you, no matter how much you sweet talk me and give me sushi.”

The Commander sighed heavily and turned his gaze to me. “Do you see this? Surrounded by ungrateful children. I teach them about duty, and what do they give me? Heartburn. I hope you are ever so lucky. They are my entire reason for living.” He grinned, and it was so much like Richard’s, my stomach tangled.

“Other than all the rest of the things that are your entire reason for living,” Mirabel muttered, stabbing a sushi roll and putting it in her face.

“Entire has a plethora of meanings.”

“Just eat your soup, dad. And Katriana, I recommend the pink one. It’s the prettiest, and it tastes…” She kissed her fingers and refocused on devouring sushi.

I followed suit, eating sushi, but my heart wasn’t in it. Why did I come here? If I undid the binding, Richard would be executed. Unless he wasn’t, but it was a definite risk. A risk he never should have taken. If he stayed bound to me, his life was at risk, and likewise if he was unbound. And usually people were married before they were life-bound. We weren’t anything close to romantic. Except for the kiss, the revenge kiss that turned into heaven on earth. Was I blushing? I shouldn’t blush around these people. Dangerous was the wrong word. Diabolical. Hallie (Hallelujah!) was right. The Commander was exactly like Richard, only terrifying.

I did the only rational thing in a situation so dire, and ate sushi.

Chapter

Fourteen

We got home late, after Mirabel promised to come first thing Monday morning to help organize the duets. I was feeling like I’d walked into a den of lions and miraculously walked out again, but I was missing a few essential organs. Namely my heart.

I was almost to the cottage when something blurred in the shadows. It was some kind of projectile, but the moon glinted on it enough to know that it was aiming at my bodyguard instead of me. Finally, someone was serious about this assassination.

I leg-swept Mitt down and then dissolved into shadows exactly how my guardian had taught me so painstakingly, coming together directly behind the goblin who’d shot the silver bullet. I sank my teeth into his neck, drinking his blood and his thoughts like moldy gruel. Goblin was one of my least favorite blood types, and it didn’t offer much in the way of nourishment, but that was made up for by the knowledge.

My victim was part of an attack by a unified band of goblin assassins from across the world, where they intended to disappear after their mission so the Goblin King didn’t catch them.

The castle was surrounded by woods with a secure perimeter kept by one of the most terrifying angel companies. The goblins had dropped in from above, high enough to avoid detection from the angel patrollers, so very, very high. The goblin’s ears still hurt from the jump in.

There were seven goblins total, four here to take out me and my bodyguards, and three to go kill the angel.

Panic had me snapping his neck before I turned to the next threat. I was breath and shadows, also fangs, because I needed to make sure I had the number and position of the goblins right. I snapped that one, and then Mitt was there to take care of the others.

I left my not-a-bodyguard, and moved without weight or speed, and then I was there, on the goblin outside of the castle, beneath the hall window just outside Richard’s quarters.

I drained the goblin while I sorted through his memories. One goblin would be in the hall above, and the last one should be close to his target. Richard. He’d bound himself to my vulnerability, and now he would die for his stupidity.

I snapped the goblin’s neck and then clawed my way up the wall, dissolved myself through the window and came together behind the hall goblin. He made a noise before I snapped him. Or her. I didn’t stop and check genders. At any rate, the noise alerted the last goblin who was in Richard’s room. I willed myself to the last goblin assassin, smoke and pain, but he cut me back with his poisoned blade. I hissed and grabbed him, burying my fangs in him while he struggled.

We stumbled over the red floral rug, knocking into an enormous bed with white drapings over the top. It was a lovely bed, just needed some adorable woodland animals…Nope, there was Stew, the gray rabbit on the pillow, chewing on a carrot. Had anything been more adorable?

The goblin slashed me with his knife again while I tried to drain him, but I’d drunk too many goblins tonight, and with Stew, my focus was diluted. The goblin pulled me around and then I got a glimpse through the open bathroom door of Richard lounging in a copper tub, steam swirling up above his glorious tan shoulders. His hair was dark and damp, with a slight curl, but his wings were missing. Where were his wings? He must have glamoured them away or magicked them gone temporarily. Unless binding to me made his wings fall out. No, his back was smooth, silky-looking, and so incredibly muscular as he shifted and then pushed himself up to standing, so I got to see the entire glorious silhouette of him from the side as he stretched his hand to grab a towel.

Nothing had ever been so perfectly beautiful. Every muscle in his outstretched arm was perfection, life, ecstasy. And the line of his hip, the taper of his waist, the arch of his back…

The goblin stabbed me deep in the stomach, breaking Richard’s spell. What was I doing?! He couldn’t catch me here lurking in his bedroom like a creeper. And I’d been staring like a pervert. And he’d been the most glorious and unforgettable piece of perfection that I’d never be able to forget. Panic gave me strength. I snapped the goblin’s neck, and then carried him into the hall, tripped on the other body, and then dragged both of them to the window. I shoved them out and let them fall on top of the goblin at the base. I leaned out, trying to get a good grip to follow them down, but instead of grace and smoke, I fell face-first, landing on a pile of corpses and feeling like death.

Channeling smoke and stealing thoughts wasn’t the best thing for my overall health and happiness. Neither was goblin blood. Or goblin poison.

I groaned as I pulled out the knife still stuck in my stomach and frowned at the blade. Goblin poison was terrible. That’s why I rolled over and threw up. Throwing up goblin blood was five times worse than drinking it in the first place, and it wasn’t my favorite. This whole experience was so perfectly on-brand with my pastel princess. I should take some selfies so I could share them with my millions of followers.

#Living my best life! #PastelPrincessForever!

What I needed was heavenly fire to burn out the poison and the goblins, and especially the vomit. And then I needed to wash my hair. My perfect ringlets were perfectly ghastly. Could I summon heavenly fire? I knew the theory, but only an idiot would summon something they couldn’t control. I couldn’t die because that would kill Richard, so heavenly fire it was. We’d get to see what happened. If it did kill me, then he’d deserve dying.

A flash of memory, water droplets sliding down golden skin, arm reaching out, body so perfectly everything had me hyperventilating. No, that was the poison. It was fast-moving, so I had to be as well.

I summoned the heavenly fire. Nothing happened. Okay then. I guess I’d just die in this pile of bodies and vomit.

A sudden rush and crackle rolled over me as heavenly flames devoured the bodies and the vomit. My arm ached where the binding was under my skin, but otherwise, it felt so good. Hot, like when they heat the stones in the spa and put them all over your skin. Clean, clarifying, pure. But hot.

The flames went out as soon as they started, leaving me in a pile of ashes entirely naked. I had time to freak out about if the angel stuck his head out the window and saw me like this before Mitt threw his shirt over me and I pulled my arms through it with trembling limbs. The rush, the panic, all of it was fading, leaving me shaking and horrified. My assassins were targeting my angel! I had to tell him so he could get more guards.

Mitt picked me up and carried me through the woods, his long stride eating up the distance.

“Who’s the bodyguard?” he muttered.

I struggled in his arms. “Not you. You’ve told me a million times that you aren’t a bodyguard.”

He rumbled a growl but didn’t say anything until we got to my cottage. I went inside and pushed him out when he tried to follow.

“I’m fine. I burned the poison out with heavenly fire. I just need to be alone.”

He frowned at me for a long moment before he shrugged, stepping back and letting me be alone to collapse into a heap of self-pity and misery all by myself. “Burning poison with heavenly fire’s a neat trick.”

I pressed my lips together so I didn’t sob. “Yep. I’m probably going to sleep for the rest of the weekend.” The darkness and despair were gathering around me, whispering of the inevitability of failure, death, and misery. I was born a monster, and nothing would ever change that. Except that now I’d also take the angel with me.

I was worthless and everyone hated me. I’d never find love or deserve it. I never should have let the show happen, it was cruel to expose others to me and the monster that I was. I wasn’t really a pastel princess. I was a depressed gothic vamp with bad hair.

And the whole binding thing was just the cherry on top. Why would Richard do that? He needed to know that I wasn’t worth protecting, but he saw the best in me, and would die because of it.

I covered all the windows in my darkest blankets and threw myself across the bed, wanting to disappear. Did I cry? Of course not. I sobbed and bawled, but nothing so pretty as tears. I cried filled with self-loathing and hatred that my therapist would make me talk through so I could see that the thoughts weren’t really mine, and I didn’t actually think that everyone would be better off without me and want me to disappear forever, but my therapist wasn’t there, so I got to drown in my misery until I fell asleep. Maybe I passed out from the goblin poison. Either way, I didn’t wake up until the light coming through the edges of my dark pink blanket was golden afternoon. Sunday afternoon? Saturday?

I felt hollow in the middle, apathetic, which seemed better than the misery, but if I went too long with that, it would take forever to get back to normal. I needed to wash my face, put on a happy face and a pretty dress, and do some actual pastel princess shots. Even though I didn’t care, I would eventually. Maybe.

I pushed myself up from my bed and felt heavy, slow, lethargic. I slithered to the edge of the bed and then stood up. The funny thing is that when I stood up, the weight on my upper back pulled me over so I sprawled back on my mattress.

I froze there, feeling like a bug on its back. Weight on my back? Why would I have weight on my back?

I slowly reached back and felt bat skin and mouse velvet. I froze while my mind raced and my stomach tangled. Seriously? I’d grown something out of my back? Was this a side-effect of the goblin poison, the heavenly fire, or being bound to Richard? Did his wings fall out and then I grew some mutated things? I would die! Except I couldn’t die because that would kill him.

I rolled and kicked until I managed to grab the bedpost and haul myself upright. It was dark in the room so I headed to the bathroom, but when I got to the doorway, the growth caught on the frame and I was once more knocked onto my back. I didn’t fit through doors? What was going on? Had I really finally turned into the ultimate monster? I kicked and thrashed, and the things on my back shoved me upright.

I grabbed the door and then carefully, sideways, edged into the bathroom with its cute Victorian vibe, all ceramic floral light covers, and claw tub, with pink claws. I focused on those cute claws until I slowly turned to look in the vanity’s oval mirror.

Wow.

I had blood tracks down my face. Nothing was hotter than dried blood tracks where tears would be on a normal person. And there, framing my horrible hair, like the worst hair ever, were a pair of wings. They could have been worse. They weren’t like skeletal or dripping blood just for the vibe. But the chocolatey brown bat wings weren’t me. I mean, they were, because they were coming out of my back, but they weren’t my pastel princess. They weren’t who I chose to be. Didn’t what I chose count for anything?

I collapsed on the edge of the tub and hung on, trying to not have hysterics. I’d already done the ugly cry with blood tears, so we weren’t doing that again. We were dealing with the problem responsibly, because I was fifty years old and not a child. And that’s why I lurched to my feet, edged sideways out the door, and found my phone on the table in the adorable kitchen instead of having another meltdown.

I picked my phone up with shaking fingers and hit the dragon icon.

It took the scholar six rings to pick up, but he did pick up. He sounded distracted, like I’d broken him out of a trance with some piece of ancient parchment.

“Katriana? Is everything well?”

I didn’t sob. Instead, I smiled as bright as I could until my teeth creaked. “Not exactly. I have bat wings. And they keep pulling me over backwards because they’re so heavy.”

“Not bat wings. No bat wings are that large.”

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes scholars could be so precise and correct but absolutely not helpful. “I was referring to the general shape, not the actual size.”

“Interesting. Would you like me to give you flying lessons? I don’t have that kind of wings, but I’m sure I could⁠—”

“I need them gone. Can I cut them off or will they grow back? They don’t match my platform. They scream goth vampire, not pastel princess.”

He cleared his throat. “I can bring a text that specifies in reducing one’s wings into a rune that can be expanded at will. Wings can be inconvenient.”

“I should say. I couldn’t get through the doorway.”

“They’re that large? Interesting. I believe your father has wings.”

“Yay. Just what I want to hear, that I’m stepping into my awesome heritage. Anyway, if you could bring that text, or someone with it, that would be great.”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He hung up without saying goodbye, leaving me slumping over the table in relief.

He’d come and know what to do. My guardian always knew what to do, no matter what. Sometimes it wasn’t fun or easy, like therapy had involved doing a lot of uncomfortable things, but I’d become mostly good at managing my mental health crises. I could manage bat wings too.

I didn’t try to move until he threw open the front door and entered, spilling his scent and presence over me. Comfort. Safety. Terror to everyone else.

He walked with confidence and then I felt his hands delicately probing the growths where they joined my spine. And shoulder blades. “You could lift as much as your vampire could hold with these,” he said, sounding impressed. Just what I needed, him to be impressed by my bat growths.

“Did you bring the book?” I asked, lifting my head from the table.

He placed the tome on the cleanest part of the surface and opened it to a full page spread of various designs. “Some of these are rather lovely. They could match your, er, pastel princess vibe, could they not?”

I beamed at him. “Not really, but I’ll put it on my elbow so it’s not too noticeable. Let’s do this one.” I pointed at a basic wing design that sort of matched what mine might have looked like.

“You wouldn’t rather examine them before you get rid of them?”

I patted his shoulder. “I’m on a tv show to find true love. We’re doing duets this week and these wings will literally get in the way. Is today Saturday or Sunday?”

He frowned. He had no idea what day of the week it was unless he had a meeting with his wife.

I shook my head. “Never mind about the day. Can you do it?”

“If you perform the runings, they’ll last forever instead of fading, but it will take longer as you aren’t as experienced,” he said.

Was he actually using this disaster as a learning opportunity? Of course he was. Still, I had wings coming out of my spine. I needed to learn how to handle them, like I handled all the other stuff.

“Do I need a notebook?”

He smiled, showing his fangs and pulled an empty pad out of his jacket. “I brought one for you.”

I almost smiled. It was so much like old times when he’d be so excited with sharing the wisdom of the ages with me. I had piles and piles of notebooks in my armoire back home. Was the laboratory home anymore? My own body wasn’t my home with growths coming out of it. But I’d adapt and manage. Because there was no other alternative.

Chapter

Fifteen

Mirabel was amazing! She brought music for all the duets after analyzing everyone’s voices.

I spent Monday working with Mirabel and Banus on our duet. It was actually a really nice song, more about friendship between different kinds of darkness than anything overly romantic. Even thinking about kissing brought me back to the tub episode, so I was happy to avoid it.

Mirabel and Pearly White worked together on how the whole video with the incubus and me would be recorded, more like a music video than a simple performance. They were hoping it would go viral, and she’d have her music academy logo stamped on the bottom, and he’d make all the money from it. Win-win. Too bad there were more than two players. Always read the fine print.

I didn’t see Richard. That is, when I saw him, I went in the other direction, cheeks on fire and the image of bare skin and water droplets pounding in my brain. This is why you shouldn’t ever see your best-friend-forever naked. Because then things get weird. I mean, weirder than the life-binding and him being some kind of angel cooking champion instead of who he really was. Except that was who he really was. Anyway, it was really confusing.

Monday evening, I was on my way to the grand hall where the incubus and I were doing the first recording session of the first duet, and Richard fell in beside me, holding out a plate of baked goods that smelled so delicious that I stumbled. Or maybe that was him smelling so irresistible. It was definitely him. It should be illegal to smell so incredibly delicious.

“What do you want?” I demanded, refusing to look at him. The sun was going down, catching his golden hair like a halo, but I only saw it in my periphery, so I didn’t come undone.

He leaned close enough that I could feel his warmth. I’d been cold ever since the goblin disaster. “I want you to taste test for me.” Why did his voice send a shiver down my spine?

I stiffened up. I wasn’t looking at him because then I’d stare. “I’m not a guinea pig.”

He nudged me. “Then I want you to eat my apology baked goods. I’m really sorry for what I did. Truly. I wasn’t thinking about how you’d feel, and it was stupid of me.”

He could admit he was stupid? I pursed my lips and snatched the most luscious looking berry muffin I’d ever seen and nibbled on the edge. Mm, but it was hard to swallow around him for some reason. I cleared my throat. “How I’d feel? What about your life? Were you not thinking about that, too?” I dared a sneaky peek at him.

His brow furrowed and his sweet blue eyes gleamed with remorse. “Right. My mortality isn’t something I’m used to thinking about. You didn’t answer my messages all weekend.”

I shook my head. “I can’t talk to you while I’m thinking.” And I couldn’t think when I was around him.

“That explains why I talk so much, because I never think.” He nudged me gently again. “If you’re not talking, you can eat.”

I held up the delicious looking muffin, frowning at it. “Does eating this mean that what you did was okay?”

His shook his head, eyes intent and sweet. “Absolutely not. I’m going to make you apology baked goods for the rest of my life unless we can figure out how to undo it. There’s got to be a way, right?”

If I hadn’t asked the commander how to undo the illegal binding, that might be an option. Not anymore, because being life-bound to me was the only thing keeping him from being executed. Which meant that I had to tell him that it was fine. Not that it was fine, but that I’d deal with it. Should I tell him that his dad knew? The thought of talking about the Commander gave me a stomach ache.

“Ritchie!” Mirabel came out of nowhere, throwing her arms around him while he tried to hold the plate steady. He had great balance.

He put an arm around her waist and lifted her off the ground while he handed me the plate. I took it because otherwise all the lovely mini muffins and cakes would tumble to the stone castle floor.

He kissed her forehead. “Hey, Mischief. The music you sent me is fabulous.”

She wrinkled up her nose and pushed away from him. “Obviously I expect you to improve on it. Rook offered to write a first-class duet for you, but I got jealous and made him write me one instead, so you have what me and Tiago came up with in five minutes.”

He laughed, and a chill went down my spine. How was I going to sing a duet with that voice? “I’ve got you. I’ll be sure to take artistic liberties and deconstruct it to the bones. Five key changes. Obviously an angelic choir chorus. And then she’ll get a solo that soars to heaven.”

Mirabel crumpled up her face, the look other people had when dealing with her. They were definitely siblings. “Artistic liberties? Just make sure no one dies. And that your partner sounds good.”

Richard looked offended, big eyes, and hand over his heart. “You wound me. It’s all about her voice, her range, and happily I’ll get to hear her do three other duets before we get to ours so I’ll know exactly what she can and shouldn’t do.”

“She’s right here,” I said, throwing a mini muffin at the back of his head. It was offensive that he thought he’d be so good because he was an angel when I used music as part of my platform. Then again, if he was related to the Music Master, he could probably hold his own.

He turned and caught it, tossing the whole thing in his mouth while his eyes danced and held me in a moment of terrified panic. He was so pretty and I’d been friendly with him! Could I be friends without trying to kiss him or thinking about…

I turned and walked briskly towards the grand hall, heart beating way too fast. I’d never get over seeing him naked, and he’d never think of me as anything other than a friend.

The music video aspect was tedious, doing the same thing over and over and over, and trying to smile at Banus Jones with my eyes without releasing my diaphragm or looking constipated. According to Mirabel, I had a problem with that last bit. We ended dancing in front of a fireplace, not enough room to actually dance, but we were supposed to give the impression of dancing.

The whole time, I could have sworn I saw angel wings in the periphery. It was enough to make me twitchy.

While we were waiting after that take for Pearly White to say we were finished, Banus offered me a chocolate bar.

I blinked at it and then at him. “What?”

“In case you’re hungry. I’m going to eat one. It would be rude not to offer. You seem distracted.”

“I’m just…” I stared at the incubus. He was like Sultry, right? I could talk about some things with him. I took the bar and picked at the wrapper. “I had bat wings come out of my spine this weekend. I can still feel them even though I magicked them away with this rune. And I’ve never done runes in my skin before, so it’s a lot.” I flashed a big smile at him while he only nodded and opened his chocolate.

“I see. And your struggle doesn’t have anything to do with a certain stalker angel?” He took a bite with his sharp teeth, sensual lips savoring the dark chocolate.

I sighed and shook my head. “He’s not my stalker. We’re just friends.”

He pursed his soft lips and nodded. “As an incubus, I can sense that you’d rather you were more than just friends, but you’re clearly uncomfortable with it. An angel would not be my choice for one’s first lover.”

Lover? I rolled that word over in my brain, decided it was too creepy and threw it out. “Definitely not lovers. He’s an angel. And he’s going to marry a nice angel baker. I’m trying to set him up. Do you know any angels who bake?”

He raised a brow, eyes gleaming. “What a good friend you are. You really don’t consider him as an option for your husband? That is the show, dating with a wedding finale, and he is the audience’s most popular contestant.”

“You’re seriously open to marrying me after knowing me for a few weeks?”

He gave me a shy smile. “What is marriage? It would be more of a business arrangement than an engagement of the heart, but I’d like allying with your people, and hopefully bringing something you want to the union. I am not without my charms.”

I nodded. “You’re very handsome.”

He laughed and relaxed slightly. “I’m very good with business. And money. You are trying to build your brand. I could help you monetize it, help you find your independence, and in the interim, I could be a good friend.”

He made marriage sound practically reasonable. Except…“Didn’t you call me silly?”

He winced, and his eyes were melted chocolate pools of sadness. “It wasn’t my best moment.”

“Probably not your worst, either. Thanks, Mr. Jones. I appreciate the conversation.”

His smile was soft and silky. I almost felt an answering smile, but it was banished by a memory of Richard’s bare arm reaching for a towel.

He put a hand on my arm. “I could most certainly help you forget him.” He pulled away before I could. “And I’m sorry about your sudden wings. Metamorphosis is often triggered by stress. I do hope that you can enjoy the rest of this process, because it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

“You’re right. I’ll try to make the best of it. Thank you, Mr. Jones.” I smiled and then Mirabel came in to drag us to the sound booth she’d put together out of random costume racks, so we could do the final recording.

I felt more comfortable singing with Banus that time, and his warmth didn’t feel manufactured. A business marriage wouldn’t be terrible. And I wouldn’t be devastated if he died for me. Not that he seemed the self-sacrificing type, which was perfect.

The song mood was chill, the vibe soft and sweet, like a warm summer day drinking lemonade. For an incubus it was distinctly innocent except… Hm. I wouldn’t look at the lyrics too closely, I’d just sing and enjoy the harmony. His voice wasn’t powerful and amazing, but it was good, mellow, easy to listen to. I was pretty relaxed by the end of the session.

“Perfect!” Mirabel said, shaking my hand and then his, beaming between us slightly manic with her large eyes and wild golden curls. “Or good enough, which is practically the same thing. Obviously neither of you are professional singers, but people are still going to love this song. Classic waltz beat, so it’s even danceable! Okay. Drink some lemon water before bed, because you’re going to be singing with the fairy tomorrow, and he’s going to be a demanding diva. Okay isn’t going to be good enough for him, so he’ll probably push you towards some kind of technical ability, and then your voice can rest with the werewolf. You know that’s going to be weird, and then the finale will be with my brother. He’s technical precision and soul and magic. It's a sin that he never truly pursued music.”

I stared at her in horror. If Richard made Fellicci look like an amateur, how was I supposed to sing with him?

She saw my face and gurgled a laugh before she pulled me into a hug. “You’ll be fine. Just remember that he’s an idiot.”

As soon as she was gone I bit into the chocolate without waiting to see if it was poisoned.

I got back to my cottage without anyone trying to kill me, which might have something to do with the ogres that had joined the angels in the perimeter.

I drank my lemon water, and then released my wings because they itched under my skin, or magic, or whatever it was. The rune binding, I guess. I slept pretty well beneath the cover of their psychological shade, and then the next morning I put my wings away and I was ready to face the fairy.

He was arguing with Mirabel, arms crossed while Mirabel had her hands on her hips.

The fairy sneered. “Her tone is sketchy, and she has no support or breath control. What you’re asking her to do is impossible for an amateur.” Why did his gorgeous voice sound so annoying? Maybe it was the bad Italian accent. Also all the insults. Did he think my voice was so terrible? Is that why he chose to do a solo instead of another duet with me?

She nodded, but her hands didn’t relax their grip on her music. “Just worry about your part, okay? This isn’t a solo, but a duet. The definition of a duet is that you sing together. Her joining only the chorus isn’t going to work. Oh hey, Kat!” She beamed at me, but she smiled too hard. She was clearly struggling to not smack the fairy. I was just glad I didn’t find anything about him attractive anymore. Ever since he’d done nothing to help my poisoned angel, he’d been dead to me.

I waved at her and came closer, swirling my skirt back and forth. My outfit was pastel pink with green trim to match Fellicci’s wings. He gave me his automatic smile and slight bow.

“Let’s do this!”

It wasn’t a disaster because Mirabel had the will and patience of a bulldozer. That is she kept bulldozing over Fellicci. In the meantime, I was working really hard to support my diaphragm and put in volume and expression.

My voice wasn’t terrible, was it? I wasn’t an opera singer, but I could sing on key, and my whole life people had said I had a pretty voice.

Fellicci sighed heavily and took me by the elbow. “We are running scales until your face turns blue.”

So that was Tuesday. After we did the music video pieces we went to the home-made booth Mirabel had created using costume racks on each side so we wouldn’t echo. By the time I was stumbling down the path towards my cottage, I was dying. At the end, between Mirabel and the fairy, I’d pushed my voice to do things it wasn’t meant to do. Was it better? No idea, but it was definitely torture. Should beauty be torture? Probably, but I didn’t like it.

I tumbled to bed, released my wings, and slept like the dead.

Wednesday morning I woke up knowing that I’d be singing with Rafe-the-waxed-werewolf. I took my time dressing to look extra adorable just so I wouldn’t have to focus on the drama. I was still bone-deep exhausted from all the technical work with Fellicci and Mirabel the day before. I just hoped it sounded okay.

Working with the werewolf was…something. He kept throwing in random rap segments about how much weight he could bench. Seriously. Finally, Mirabel worked his rapping into the duet.

I started off singing this lovely soprano aria, all about my hope for finding true love, and then he came in with his weight skills rapping, and then it moved into whether two predators could share the night. He could actually do harmony when he wasn’t rapping, so after hours and hours, I was almost sure that the final recording wouldn’t be humiliating. Our voices didn’t exactly blend, but it’d be fine. Right. Totally fine. If I was smiling, things couldn’t be that bad, right?

When I took a break for lunch, Richard slipped beside me where I sat at the table with the healthy shake Mitt had made me.

“I made you a sandwich.” He pushed over a grilled masterpiece, but I was trying not to look at him.

I stared at the beautiful golden toasted sourdough bread, strips of bacon, juicy tomatoes, and crispy lettuce. Such a huge contrast to my own shady mental state. I poked the sandwich. “How do you keep the lettuce from wilting when you grilled it?”

“I put the lettuce in after.” He tugged on me, turning me so I’d face him. I stared at him while my heart beat faster and I tried not to get weird.

“What?” I asked, feeling exposed.

He pursed his soft lips. “You look tired. How was the duet yesterday? I’m worried that you aren’t having enough fun. You had a blast with the first spontaneous duet you did with the fairy, so why didn’t you have fun yesterday?”

I stared at him. “Seriously?” I was singing with a professional. I had to do my best and make it amazing, but at the same time… I thumped my fist on the table. “Exactly! The duets are supposed to be fun, my favorite part of this circus, so why aren’t they? Why do musicians have to suck the fun out of everything? I mean, I guess it’s sort of fun to not suck, but the pressure, the performance, it’s all so completely joyless.”

He thumped his fist on the table and nodded. “Exactly. We are going to have fun. I know Mirabel talks about me like I’m some kind of amazing musician, but I’m not. When it comes to music, I’m not interested unless it’s fun. So don’t stress, okay? Don’t stress with the werewolf, because…” He trailed off looking thoughtful. “He’s kind of a weird guy.”

I snorted and then looked around so no one heard me then leaned closer. “He waxes his legs,” I whispered then pulled back, hoping he wouldn’t be mean about it.

He pulled up his pants, revealing golden skin with pale hair. “What do you think? Should I wax? My hair’s mostly invisible, but if you prefer hairless…”

I put a hand over his mouth and giggled. “Don’t mock him.”

His brows rose and then he kissed my palm. I pulled away feeling burned, but he only leaned forward. “No? Then what can I do? I know! I’m about to wax eloquent on your magnificent voice. Are you prepared?”

I giggled again and then grabbed the table. “I’m braced. Go ahead and let me have it.”

He cocked his head and then got a distant look in his eyes. “You have the most delightful ability to adjust your style and tone to match your partner’s. That’s one of the most difficult things to teach, and you were born with it. Also, your high A is incredibly sweet. Most voices in that range tend to pitchy. If you provided those notes with more support, you could give it more strength, but the sweetness and clarity are absolutely there.”

I grabbed his arm. “Wait a minute. You’re actually talking about my voice? I thought you were joking. Also, you don’t sound like a casual singer, you sound like a very serious musician.”

He smiled and covered my hand with his. “I mean, I know about music. It’s my mother’s life, and she made sure I had a very strong foundation in case my interests went in that direction, but honestly, I’m more interested in the people than the sound. The relationships. When she left me and my dad to go back to her work, her only interest in me musical, that ensured that I wouldn’t be following in her career choices.”

“Also you like killing stuff with your sword.”

He nodded. “Absolutely. Musical death is so much more soul-rending.” He gave me a slow smile. “What kind of duet do you want to do with me? Shall we do a little bit of everything, shake it up in a bag, and see what comes out? Do you rap? Hearing the wolf rap makes me think there’s a little rap inside of everyone.”

Somehow, in spite of everything, I started feeling a little better. “Right? You could absolutely lay down a few lines.”

He grinned more broadly, flashing his dimple. “Now it’s a challenge. I will rap. And you will be horrified.”

I laughed and then took a bite of the sandwich. It was so good. While I ate, Richard took notes on a scrap piece of paper, every once in a while asking me questions, like, “What rhymes with rain?” My answer, “Mountain.” It was the worst rhyme, but that was the game, right?

He smiled at me with twinkling eyes. “Of course it does. Obviously.” He tugged on one of my curls, but not enough to hurt or to mess it up. Then he went back to sketching out lyrics while I ate my sandwich.

He played with my hair absently while I ate and drank the shake, feeling better and more solid with every bite. It was nice to be with my bestie, even if it wasn’t anything special. We just felt right. That’s what I was going to keep, our friendship, and I wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that, even if I had seen him naked.

Chapter

Sixteen

The music video portion of the werewolf duet was in the afternoon, and it was fine, if annoying the way he kept grabbing me and spinning me around, or holding me close enough I could smell the chicken liver on his breath that he must’ve had for lunch.

I was supposed to be having fun, so I channeled some vampire and dipped the werewolf, gazing into his eyes seductively before I dropped him and spun away, full of the drama.

His eyes gleamed, as he focused in on me, almost like I was his prey. The song was like that, too many claws and fangs, and could love exist with so much bite? I certainly wasn’t interested in answering that question. He remembered that we were on film and started posing and flexing again, but that tinge of hunter stayed in his eyes.

During the last scene, when we were up on the castle wall, Mirabel had him kneel down so he could gaze up at me like he adored me. The moon was coming up behind me, so it would be like I was his moon. Very poetic. But after we’d sung the last note, he stood and pressed our mouths together.

I froze because what was he doing? His teeth were sharp, his mouth hard, pressure on my face that was absolutely bizarre. I’d kissed Richard, and I’d wanted it to be like this, violent and oppressive, but it hadn’t. This was…

He was yanked away from me, and there was Richard, the angel, with a flaming sword pointed at the werewolf’s throat. I was still frozen, stunned by the weirdness of that assault. Was it an assault? I couldn’t decide.

“You’ll die for that,” Richard declared, voice intractable, merciless execution at the end of his sword.

I took a breath and then pushed the point of the sword away from the werewolf. It didn’t burn me, but Richard looked slightly betrayed. “Don’t be silly. It was just part of the music video. I can’t have another contestant die before I get to vote him off the show. That is…the whole thing is about voting, and…”

Richard narrowed his eyes at me.

Rafe huffed. “You think I’m afraid of your little sword? Angels are weak when they aren’t en masse. You’re weak. And why shouldn’t I kiss her? You did, and it wasn’t even on camera! It’s only fair.”

Richard spun around and punched the wolf. It was so fast. One second everyone was standing there, the next, Hughenot Raferty was stumbling back, blood welling from his nose. He touched his face, horror blooming along with blood.

“Now it’s going to be swollen for the cameras! You…” He attacked Richard and they both went down, rolling over the gravel roof.

Mirabel and the cameramen made sure to get good angles on the whole thing while I stood on the edge, trying to not do anything regrettable. I didn’t want to ruin another dress. But I didn’t like watching Richard get hurt, although to be honest, it didn’t seem like he was taking this tussle very seriously. I mean, the angel was used to concave armor and serious blood loss. This was…Yep. Richard was grinning before he bit the werewolf’s shoulder.

And now I was jealous of the werewolf. Richard wouldn’t bite me, because I wouldn’t be stupid enough to wrestle with him, pushing against his straining muscles, close and heated, except maybe I would. The next time I was angry at him, I wouldn’t kiss him, I’d punch him. Or tackle him to the ground. No. Bad, bad, bad idea. The worst idea. I’d write him a letter. Yes. I’d write about how stupid he was. I’d make bad poetry. The worst. That would hurt him. Or maybe I’d sing something out of tune. Yes! Or play an instrument I truly sucked at. Two instruments at the same time. And plotting my revenge was definitely helping distract me from the sight of Richard pinning the wolf, the lines of his body so incredibly taut.

Was it getting warm on the top of that wall? A bit. And I was staring. And the camera panned to me. I tried to smile, but was that the right reaction? Should I look worried? Panicked? Happy to be fought over by two strong competitors?

Finally, Pearly White was there, and he dragged Richard off the wolf and snapped his fangs at Hughenot Raferty when he came back up after Richard.

“Enough. We’ve got the footage for the show, and anything else will just make you look bad for the camera. You have your duet tomorrow. Look good for it!” he snapped at Richard, who smiled back at him, looking golden and gorgeous, utterly undamaged.

I took that as my signal to head for the stairs with my face feeling weird from that werewolf kiss. I headed for the kitchen, but halfway there my wings were kind of pushing against my skin, so I abandoned that idea and went to my cottage as fast as possible. I barely got there before they burst out.

Mitt came in a few seconds later. “Everything okay?” he asked, leaning against the wall beside the door and scanning the interior for intruders.

“The werewolf kissed me. At least he called it a kiss. I think a tooth cut my lip. Do you think I’ll catch something?”

He blinked at me. “The werewolf kissed you? Why?”

I shrugged, the motion echoed by my enormous wings. It was kind of satisfying to shrug so thoroughly. “I’m supposed to know why he does something? If you kissed me, I’d think you were giving me CPR, but him?”

He studied me for another beat. “Did you kill him?”

“Moi?” I batted my lashes at him and pressed my delicate hands to my heart. “Of course not! We were on film! And also, I don’t just run around killing people.” Not that I hadn’t run around killing the assassin goblins the other day. “Richard beat him up.” I added with a twinge of satisfaction from the memory. He’d looked so good, and the werewolf was so bad at brawling compared to the angel.

The angel was so beautiful engaged in physical warfare, golden and beaming even in the moonlight.

“Marking his territory.”

“Hm?” I asked, brought back to the shadowy werewolf.

“That’s why he kissed you. Also why he licked your hand, so you’d be scented by him. You’re lucky he didn’t urinate on you.”

I shuddered. “I would have killed him.”

He smiled, big and toothy. “Me too. Werewolves can be so uncivilized. Good night, Princess. Sweet dreams.” He gave my batwings a long look before he turned and slouched out.

I didn’t go right to bed. Instead, I tried using my wings. It would be good to have them in case of emergencies. And I liked how they shrugged with me. They were pleasantly validating. And they were dark brown like chocolate or a tree trunk, not pitch black like a goth vamp. What if I painted the pointed claw bits pink? With sparkles!

It took a lot of nail polish, but the end result was rather fabulous. I wanted to send SunRae a picture, but I wasn’t quite sure if I could get back to messaging him every day, not when he was so temptingly gorgeous. I didn’t want to weird him out.

I went to his account, the one where he was himself, and there were pictures of him feeding his Pegasus a gorgeous mini cake. Was that round thing a blueberry shaped blueberry cake? So cute!

I scrolled down his wall, stopping to stare at one where he was wearing a ripped shirt after playing some kind of angel football with his buddies. Gleaming, smiling, absolutely gorgeous.

A squeal built up inside my chest until I threw myself onto my bed and screamed into my pillow. After I got that out of my system I ignored my phone and got ready for bed. We were buddies. I had to tell him the life-binding was okay, because we were such good friends, and he’d probably die without me anyway. But how could I say that to his face without getting distracted? I’d message SunRae.

I opened my phone and then quickly skipped the messages, all five hundred thousand of them instead of ogling the angel.

Your blueberry cake is to die for. Also, I guess the life-binding is okay, and you don’t have to try to undo it. But if you ever do something like that again, I’ll retaliate in some terrible way you truly hate.

I started cleaning up my messages, but had only deleted twenty when my phone dinged with another text.

Because you don’t burn your hand off when you grab my sword? I guess there are perks. Thanks for messaging me. You keep me sane.

I snorted and typed. I’m the wrong person to choose as a representative for sanity. One hundred percent would eat a pickle dipped in chocolate.

That sounds like a challenge. Weird food eating competition? You can have it in next week’s round. Way better than romantic date.

Wrong. Eating pickles dipped in chocolate is a romantic date. You clearly haven’t done much dating.

Of course not. Angels don’t date.

This was my chance to bring up an angel he could date. If only I knew one. Maybe he could tell me. I looked up the most popular angel girl on social media, found a picture and then sent it to SunRae.

What about this girl? Have you dated her?

There was a break and then he sent me a picture of a sword.

I tried to buy this sword off her once. That’s almost the same thing. She’s actually engaged to another angel already. They’re the most boring couple you’ve ever seen in your life. They’d finish each other’s sentences, except that they don’t need to speak because they commune without words so perfectly. Also neither of them do much thinking. They’re spectacularly good at following orders, though. Like her assignment to start a social media account and push the angelic agenda.

Well that hadn’t worked. I searched for any other angels, but not a lot of romantic figures. It’s almost like they didn’t do social media unless they had a purpose in it. Angels and their purposes. It was impossible to escape. Sigh.

What do you want to do on our date? I sent the message before I could rethink it. I didn’t want to talk about dating him. I hurried to add, Unless you’re voted off the show, naturally.

If you don’t vote the werewolf off after that gross assault, then he’s going to have a series of unfortunate accidents.

I snorted. I’m contractually forbidden from discussing my voting intentions.

He responded immediately, Then I won’t mention it. For our date, I want to do the classic dinner and dancing. Then star gazing. Then dueling. Does that sound romantic enough? Of course not. We’ll end the evening in the kitchen, and I’ll make you something practically edible while you enchant the universe with your spellbinding charm.

I snickered. Only if you let me snuggle Stew while I wait. It’s boring to enchant the universe unless I have a fluffy friend with me.

Stew will be there. Whether I cook him or not will be left to fate.

Isn’t Fate the name of an angel?

Several. And they would all cook a cute bunny without a second thought. Speaking of second thoughts, let’s not leave it up to Fate after all. ;)

I smiled at his winky face and then forced myself to close the messages and go to bed. I had our duet tomorrow, and it had to be as good as I could make it. And hopefully it would also be a little bit of fun.

The next morning I dressed carefully in the prettiest pink dress with pale gold trim that shimmered beautifully and took my time with my makeup using a gold shimmer eye shadow I’d never used before. All morning we’d just be rehearsing the song, so I didn’t need to dress up, but I couldn’t help myself.

When I got into the library where we’d rehearse, Mirabel was yelling at Richard.

“Where’s the angsty romance? This sounds like a best friends song. Do you seriously want it to look like she has more chemistry with the werewolf than the angel? How is this you representing? Come on! Give me something raw and anguished! I know you can come up with a complex duet about eternal love because you did it when you were twelve between a spider and a fly. It was epic! Give me some of that! Or I will.” She glared at her brother who wrinkled his nose and then glanced at me.

“She wants us to play star-crossed lovers because it’ll be good for ratings. What do you think?”

Me? What was I supposed to say? I licked my lips. Mm. Strawberry gloss. “I mean, we’re best friends forever, but I don’t want the werewolf to become an audience favorite so I can’t vote him off. Not that I’m definitely voting him anywhere because fine print.”

He grinned. That dimple was so adorable. “So we’ll play the angel and the vampire who are agonized by the chasm between our natures filled with unmitigated yearning. You’ll have to wear something less adorable for the music video. And I’ll wear my armor!”

I beamed at him. He was so adorable. “Sounds perfect! Can you really come up with an angsty duet in five minutes?”

“No. Since my sister started talking I’ve composed three possibilities in my head.” He winked at me. “It drives her crazy, but she started out crazy, so no one notices.”

Mirabel punched his arm hard. “You are so annoying. The most annoying. You don’t do anything with that musical brain. Just hoard it selfishly.”

“I sing to Vesper and compose battle songs for the troops.”

She shuddered. “I’ve heard some of those songs. Mockeries of music.”

“Which is why it’s so good that you’re the musician and I’m the meat head warrior. Also convenient that I just polished my armor.”

She threw her hands in the air and stomped off. “Teach her what you need while I go hit my head against a wall.”

“Sure thing.” He turned to me, cocked his head and studied me while I tried not to shift or stare at him like a stalker. “Are you sure you’re okay feeding the romance angle? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, and if we do it, we should do it well.”

I shrugged. “What about you? I mean, yearning for a vampire isn’t going to do your reputation much good.”

He grinned and wiggled his brows. “Happily for me, there is literally nothing that wouldn’t improve my reputation. Prepare to be adored and worshipped like the goddess you are.”

I gasped and covered his mouth, pulling back when I felt his lips. “That’s like heresy, right?”

“Idolatry. Happily, it’s only a matter of speech. Let me text some people.” He pulled out his phone, typed for five seconds then put it away and held out his arm. “Shall we?” I slowly slid my hand over his strong forearm, trying not to feel like a princess to his prince. I failed.

It was difficult to focus when Richard looked at me like I was his true love, but then he’d break out of it and explain how to use my breath and stance to really capture the emotion. Everything was so calculated. He really could manufacture the feel of romance without actually losing himself to it. Not like that was a risk. We were best friends forever. But I was supposed to pretend to be this yearning sun-born perfect vampire.

He really knew how to play the part, and my heart kept thumping faster and faster through the song. It was shockingly romantic, but the weirdest thing was the way he painted me as a ‘sun-born perfect vampire,’ and himself as a shadowed fallen prince of night who needed my light to save him from the darkness that bound him. Weird. Also, he didn’t sing like an opera singer, but had this voice that sounded like summer afternoons, smooth as sunshine and relaxing as a nap on a gently rocking boat. I’d heard his duet with his sister at Libby’s wedding, and his voice hadn’t been anything like this. I felt like he was there to support me, and found myself leaning against him, holding his arm while we worked through lyrics and harmonies until I had confidence that I could deliver according to his specs.

“Lunch?” he murmured, raising his brows while I stayed leaning on him, caught up in the glow of those last sweet words about the dawn of our love rising.

Right. Lunch. Time to get back to reality. I straightened and nodded briskly. “Lunch would be good.”

“Can I make you something? Any requests?”

“I shouldn’t. You made me lunch yesterday.”

He leaned down so his forehead was against mine and he could stare into my eyes creepily. “So silly of me. It’s not like you have to eat several times a day, particularly when everyone’s bullying you into singing with them.” He bumped our noses together and straightened. “I’m thinking something with avocado and mango. Does that sound too weird?”

“Or figs and pomegranates like in the song.”

“Mm. Peaches and pomegranates, but that sounds like a cake, not a sandwich.”

“Can’t we eat cake for lunch?”

He grinned. “I do love the way you think. But no cake until the music video or it will mess up your voice. Do I have time to bake a cake between now and then? Maybe while you’re doing wardrobe. I already polished my armor.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’ve mentioned it a few times.”

“I’m very proud of my armor.”

“Clearly.”

He nudged me as we walked towards the kitchen. “You fixed it for me. That makes it precious. Usually after I wear armor it’s trashed, but now I have a favorite. You’ll have to teach me those restoration spells for the next time I try to take down a mountain troll man to man.”

I elbowed him. “I’ll fix it. You shouldn’t have to do those kinds of spells when you’re injured. You’ll mess them up and end up with it fused to your body.”

“Perfect. You restore my armor and I’ll make you lunch. Not a fair trade, but you already agreed, so you’re stuck.”

I giggled, beaming up at him happily. “You’re an idiot.”

“You love it.”

“Probably, but I’m genetically predisposed to insanity.”

“And I work to achieve levels of insanity that others envy.”

“Levels of insanity in the people around you, yes, I know. Good thing you’re so adorable.”

He grinned broadly. “Yep. It’s my adorableness that keeps me alive. Seriously, mango and avocado. You don’t have to eat it, but it’s stuck in my head.”

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”

He studied me for a long moment before he smiled and squeezed my hand back. “Maybe so. I hope so. At least acceptable to my princess.”

Chapter

Seventeen

Mango and avocado sounds weird, but the way he did it, making the mangoes into some kind of spicy sweet dressing he swirled over the sandwich contents and then put the whole thing together with the amazing sourdough bread was absolute art.

We ate sandwiches at the table in comfortable silence.

Mirabel came in like a whirling dervish and bouncing curls, dragging an angel who looked like she was experiencing her worst nightmare come to life. “You asked Hope to come and play the triangle? What new sadism is this?”

Richard wiped his mouth on a napkin and stood. “Nothing new about it. Hope’s a super talented triangle player. She has a delicacy with percussions most angels lack. This song is a delicacy of deliciousness.”

Hope looked the opposite of delicate. Grim. Determined to see the end of this battle whatever the price, but the price would be high.

“Oh, brother,” Mirabel said, rolling her eyes.

He nudged her. “Exactly. That exclamation of distress was designed for you in this specific instance. What a happy moment of felicity to see its purpose come to fruition.”

She glared at him. “And Felicity is also here, but she’s playing her harp. As if I shouldn’t be the one to play a harp in your band.”

“Orchestra. I brought in a full set of strings. Shall we away to the sound booth? I moved it to another building.”

She glowered. “I hate you.”

He put an arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead. “I know. I love you, too, Menace.”

They were so cute. I wished I had a sibling who knew me perfectly and loved me so much. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed one shadow slightly thicker than the others. Mitt was not like a sibling even though I’d known him forever. He was more like an uncle who always kept his distance and professionalism. We didn’t hug or show physical affection. I was probably starved for that.

Like he read my mind, Richard looped his free arm around me and pulled Mirabel and me out of the kitchen, past the grim triangle player, Hope.

“Hi,” I said to her as Richard dragged me out. Maybe she’d be tough enough to date Richard. Why did his hand feel so good? I wouldn’t have thought it was okay for best-friends-forever to walk so close, but with Mirabel on the other side, it was totally normal.

What wasn’t normal was the group of people gathered to dress me. All angels. And the dress? It was peaches and powdered sugar, just like in the song, a confection of a dress that felt as good as it looked. But it wasn’t just a dress, it was this creamy lace overlayer like sugar crystals over this peach silk satin, and the whole thing was studded with pearls. If I ruined this dress, I would cry. Also, where had it come from?

The angels did my hair with this gold band with pearls, and then twisted strands of my hair up around it. So pretty.

The makeup was heavier, but left me looking soft and dewy, practically angelic. It took over an hour to get every curl right, and by the time it was done, I looked like a glorious pastel princess who might be on her way to her wedding. The train gave it the wedding vibe. I guess that was the eventual outcome of this show, but it was freaky to see.

Hallie carried my train as we walked to the small building outside that the angels had apparently taken over as a chapel for its good acoustics. But walking in, angels on either sides of the door and the whole space filled with angels and instruments, with Richard at the end of the aisle in his golden armor, it felt like I was walking into a wedding. My wedding.

The Commander stood behind Richard at the end, frowning down at his guitar. Why was the Commander here with his guitar?

I didn’t realize I’d said it out loud until Hallie (Hallelujah!) answered me in a low murmur that I could barely hear, “He’s a really excellent musician, and when he came to deliver a message to Richard, something about relations with the northern giants, he got roped into being part of the orchestra. Most angels have an instrument they can play well enough for funerals, or other events.”

Like weddings. “Ah. Makes sense. I guess I didn’t realize that guitars were part of orchestras.”

The Commander started plucking those first strings of the waltz with a shimmery bell sound of Hope’s setup. Not a triangle, more like a giant xylophone. There were microphones all over the place so every instrument could be perfectly picked up.

Mirabel stood next to the Commander, hands folded at her waist and a look of anticipation on her face. Apparently she’d gotten over her irritation with Hope and the change of recording studio locations.

Richard looked like an angel, all golden hair lit up by the late sunshine, and he looked at me like I was a bride coming down the aisle that he couldn’t wait to say ‘I do’ to. As soon as I reached him, he started with the first verse, singing into his microphone while he gazed at me, yearning in every line of his face. My heart beat faster, but at the same time, it was such sweet, contented aching.

“Her dress is peaches and powdered sugar, stained with pomegranate wine.”

I sang mine, “Morning sun on marble pillars, and midnight tangled in a curling vine.” Still wasn’t entirely sure about those lyrics, but I tried to sound certain.

He grabbed my hand as he leaned closer to sing his line.

During my line, he touch my wrist, sending a bolt of aching sweetness through me.

Then he sang his part, “I was born blazing above the towers, I learned of the shadows where you exist.”

Then our duet at the chorus where I carried the melody, trying to sound like I felt it, the ‘perfect vampire’ bit, and his harmony pierced my bones.

“I am a sun-born perfect vampire, gold in my veins where your hunger feeds

You are the prince of light, fruit, fire,

Sweet on your tongue but you bruise what you need.

Will you step into the light I carry, or will you hide in the orchard of your fear.

I could save you from the dark that wears you if you dare to come near.”

The other verses wound on, hiding in his fear, but finding the strength to love and trust in spite of all the darkness and uncertainty.

The end came like a sigh and with it the soft plucking and gentle bells until the sound faded and I dropped my head against Richard’s chest, somehow having ended up that close to him. How was his armor so warm and soft? It must be the heavenly gold.

My heart beat in the sacred stillness of that last note, and it felt like a church, felt like a vow, as serious and eternal as our souls. I was exhausted, but also filled with this buoyant energy that sank into me from my head to my toes. I felt life-bound to him for the first time, truly one.

It took a long time for me to remember that this was the perfect opportunity to set him up with another angel. It took even longer to stand upright and take a step away from him.

He looked languid, relaxed, replete, and his slow smile was absolutely too delicious. I almost kissed him, but then I remembered the last time I kissed him, and the werewolf’s kiss, or face assault, and that there was an enormous audience behind us.

They broke out into this cheer that made the rafters ring. Angels were so loud. I flinched at the sound and curled up against Richard, who put an arm around me and held me close. We stood there for a long time between the Commander and Mirabel while the angels cheered.

“Congratulations! It was so beautiful!” A lovely female angel I’d never met said, throwing her arms around me and squeezing me until I squeaked. Then she released me and gave Richard a cold look. “Congratulations to you as well.” She moved on, and then it was another angel, a male.

He bowed to me respectfully, congratulating me on my beautiful song before he grabbed Richard in a rib-crushing hug. “You don’t deserve so much goodness.”

Richard grinned at him and then gave me a side-look. “I’ll take it anyway.”

Another female angel hugged me too tight, and after that, I lost track of what Richard was doing, I was just trying to keep breathing through the onslaught. This is why you didn’t hire angelic musicians. They got caught up in the sound and didn’t understand lies, so they maybe thought that had actually been some kind of wedding ceremony. I’d sung that I’d take his name, and he’d sung the same, but that wasn’t a vow. There hadn’t been an ‘I do’ just so many other words.

Anyway, I survived the congratulations until finally they were gone, leaving only one angel left. I vaguely recognized the white-winged cupid, Lorien, who was supposed to be on the show but had flaked.

How did I feel about that? If Richard hadn’t come to take his place, I might never have met SunRae in real life. And I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.

I pressed a hand against my chest while my heart twisted. Absolutely not. I wasn’t in love with Richard. I mean, sure, I loved him because we were best-friends-forever, but we weren’t romantic! I was trying to help him date other angels. Which is why I’d just hugged fifty of them and never asked one if she liked baking. I didn’t want him to date other angels. I didn’t want him to date anyone but me. I wanted to sing duets with him and not have to remember that it was just pretend afterwards.

“Congratulations!” the cupid said, gathering me into a big, feathery hug. “You’re so cute and little! Is Richard giving you a sufficiently hard time? Of course he is. Hopefully you’re reciprocating. Of course you are!” He squeezed me and lifted me in the air while I held still and didn’t sink my fangs into his throat. He smelled delicious, but it was Richard whose blood I wanted to drink for the rest of my life. I just wanted this person to put me down, and my fangs were my only unpinned weapons. The guy hugged like a lumberjack.

He finally put me down and leaned back to beam at me. “So cute.”

Richard put his arm around my waist and pulled me away from him, frowning at the angel. “What are you doing here? You forfeited your place.”

“I’m here for the cake. I understand there is a mountain of cake in the garden reception.”

Richard’s scowl was epic. “Did you already eat all the cake? It’s for the music video.”

“Music video?” The cupid wiggled his brows and looked lascivious. Weird that an angel could look like that. Yes, I was definitely glad that I had Richard on my show instead of him. No matter how difficult that made things, I’d take him any way I could get him. The end.

“Of course the music video,” Mirabel said, cocking her head as she studied him. “But now that you’re here, I could use an angel for my school. I have this student who has such a hard time emoting when she sings. Lanise has fairly good tone, but the emotions…” She tsked and then snagged the angel’s arm and yanked him to the side.

Her leaving left only the Commander. Who might execute his son if justice required it.

I shrank even closer to Richard, glad for his arms around me. “Hello, sir,” I squeaked.

“It’s Richard,” he said, grabbing my hand and shaking it. “Or you can call me Commander. Most people do. Terribly dull, but it is what I am, although perhaps soon we’ll be hearing happy news to the contrary. Eh?” He ribbed Richard and gave him the most terrifying smile I’d ever seen.

Richard’s eyes widened and his face went pale and splotchy for a bit before he squared his shoulders, firmed his jaw and gave a short nod. “Perhaps.”

They were talking about angelic forces stuff, probably about pushing back the northern giants from the border after this dating show was over. Did it ever have to end? Of course it did, and it should before I broke my stupid heart on him.

I sighed and ducked out of Richard’s arms. “We should go get the video finished before Pearly White eats someone. Thank you so much for playing with us.” I patted the Commander’s armored arm, feeling awkward before I turned and headed for the door.

Richard caught up with me outside, grabbing my hand and squeezing my fingers. “You really were amazing.”

I gave him a look. “You lowered your abilities so that I’d shine.”

He looked insulted, also gorgeous with those glorious blue eyes and shiny golden hair framing his perfect face. “Nonsense. I just lowered my ego so that you’d shine. I can do that when required, shocking as that sounds.” He wiggled his brows in a way that made me blush.

I shook my head and lowered my eyes so I wouldn’t stare at him. “I know. You spent years hiding your baking skills behind a fake name. But now you can shine for all the world to see.”

“But I only want you to see that side of me,” he said with a slight smile. “I can only have one best friend forever, and you’re it.”

My heart warmed and my heart soared. Somehow I managed to not throw myself into his arms and proclaim my undying love. I really must be growing up. Look at all this restraint. “I take it you don’t want to open a restaurant and feed the world. Poor, poor, neglected world.” I tugged on his hand. “Let’s hurry before all the cake is gone.”

The cakes were untouched. The scene was set in an orchard garden, like the song, with great lighting and elaborate fake greenery.

We sang the song in different positions and wardrobes, beginning with a waltz in our formal clothes, and then the next eating cake and figs, and drinking pomegranate wine, in a clothing change that was basically my over-corset off and my skirt pulled up so it ballooned out. Richard only wore his breast plate so his muscular arms were bare. The next change was the most intimate without any armor. We were lying on a bed wrapped in leaves and flowers. I could have sworn it was the bed from his room, but I’d never admit to being there, particularly while he was in the bath. I was wearing a white dress that could have doubled for a slip, and Richard wore Mitt’s loose white shirt and Banus’s pants. I guess stolen clothes were romantic to him.

I leaned over him while he gazed up at me as I sang the final chorus and tried to look in love but remember that I wasn’t, and then he rolled so I was the one beneath him as he sang down to me, the final line, so sweet, so devastating with the lighting crew making it look like dawn just outside our leafy bower.

And then he bent down like a narcissus above the water, and bit my neck.

For a moment I forgot to breathe. Finally, his jaws unclenched around my throat and then he looked into my eyes with this burning intensity that didn’t match the music’s vibe. We stared at each other for a long moment, while the feel of his teeth in my neck throbbed through me with every beat of my heart. And then he lowered slow, slow, eyes on my mouth. His lids drifted shut and then his lips were on mine, a soft kiss of absolute sweetness and purity.

He raised his head and smiled softly. “That was the best⁠—"

Between the bite and the music, I lost my mind. Words weren’t happening right now, not when I was still burning from his bite.

I pulled him down and kissed him while I tangled my legs with his, fingers pulling his hair.

Mine.

Every inch of him belonged to me, and I’d never, ever let him go.

His lips curved against mine in a smile. Happiness bubbled up and the world was singing its love song duet to my soaring heart.

And then my wings flexed under my skin, wanting to join in the madness.

My wings didn’t belong in this scene. Then again, kissing like this, on a bed with an angel? What was I thinking?

I held him tight for one more beat and then dissolved into smoke and escaped his grasp, flowing through the orchard until I got to the edge and came together. I ran, but I was only halfway to the cottage when my wings burst through. Then I was dragging them, heavy, holding me down.

Was I crying? Laughing? Both? Probably both.

“It’s fine,” I gasped, sounding hysterical even to myself. “We’re best friends forever. It’s perfectly fine.”

Somehow I made it to the cottage, and then I collapsed in a heap inside the door, shivering and still full of so much agonizing longing, I thought I’d die. My kittens found me, and it was the best death, a kiss from my prince burning on my lips, a bite searing through my neck, and pattering toe beans on my skin.

Chapter

Eighteen

Iwoke up to someone trying to open the door. My body was blocking it. Okay, mostly my wings.

I tensed up to try to move and then gave up and collapsed back under their weight.

A swirl of smoke brushed around me and then coalesced into the Scholar, my guardian.

“Katriana, what are you doing? Never mind. Libby found a marvelous text that has depictions of wings strikingly similar to yours. Do you mind if I turn on the light? Have you been lying here in the dark all night? Interesting choice.”

“My wings are too heavy.”

“Or you’re too weak to lift them. I’m thinking the latter is more likely. When is the last time you drank blood? You know there is a direct correlation.”

I rolled my eyes and then summoned the will to push myself to my feet. I dragged myself and my wings over to the adorable kitchen and got a blood bag out, drinking it without looking at him. I was old enough to take care of myself. Except sometimes I wasn’t. I collapsed at the table and he sat down beside me, pulling out an excellent ancient tome that smelled dusty and emoted rotting corpse. Some books were like that.

He opened it up to a page that depicted a truly horrific beast, with enormous eyes like a giant fly, and wings he had wrapped around himself like a cloak. The wing claws were as large as his head, and his mouth was very wide, with sharp teeth.

“It’s called a Gurdobo, and it is the most fascinating creature. I’ve only seen two in all my years. I use the term see lightly. More like sensed. The wings are something like invisibility cloaks! Isn’t that marvelous? We’ll have to see if yours work that way. It would be quite an advantage for you.”

I wanted to slump over the book and cry at the idea of having more monstrous tendencies, but Libby would absolutely murder me if I got one of her ancient tomes water or blood damaged. “Great. I always wanted to be even more horrifying than I already am.”

“The Gurdobo isn’t monstrous. It doesn’t even kill things, just eats what’s already dead. I wondered how your existence was possible. I’m alive because dragons can enchant practically anything, having a lot of leeway between reality and the possibilities, but vampires do not, and your mother was human. However, when I did her autopsy, I noticed that she had raised levels of certain factors that led me to think she may have been injected by something to help her survive the pregnancy.” He gently caressed the drawing in the book with his pale fingers. “This ancient creature can breed with vampires as they’re already on the cusp of death, you see?”

I blinked at the picture, and then up at him. “So these wings aren’t really for flying but for invisibility? And they just go around eating dead bodies like a vulture?”

“Crows and ravens are also carrion eaters. You like birds, don’t you?”

I sighed heavily and then let my head thump down on the table. I couldn’t cry in case I damaged the book, but I could emote rotting corpse. That was certainly a vibe. “Those are goth birds. I’m not a gothic vampire princess. I’m a pastel vampire princess. I want a cute chickadee or a happy bluebird. What are those yellow ones?”

“There are a lot of yellow ones. At any rate, no, I believe the wings are fully functional for flying, but it’ll be easier to glide with wings that size than to beat rapidly. Shall we do a flying lesson?”

He smiled encouragingly, and it was so sweet that he tried. I almost said yes, but no way I was going to show Richard or any other angels my carrion wings. That was going to be a fun conversation. ‘I eat dead people.’ I’d have to carry around toothpicks all the time to get stray rotting meat out of my teeth.

I forced a smile. “Maybe after the show is over. I need to finish one experiment before I begin another.”

He nodded soberly and then closed the book and started for the door. When he was almost there he paused and then turned back to study me thoughtfully. “Katriana, I wonder if you could consider ways in which I could have been a better guardian.”

I stared at him, blank for a second before I thought he might be feeling insecure or something. I smiled brightly and waved my hands in denial. “You were great. No complaints here.”

His expression was seriously concerned. “You see, Libby is considering having children, and I thought I should examine my efforts and see if they could be improved.”

I leapt from the table, delight eclipsing everything else. If the scholar was having a child, that would make me its sibling! I’d be such a good sister. I’d take the child to the zoo and we’d buy ice cream and not pet any lions. Unless no one was looking. I’d teach them all about societal norms.

“That’s so exciting! When is she due? Is she having a baby shower? Do you need someone to throw it? We could have it in an orangery, with orange for the theme and color, because it’s gender neutral!”

He tensed up, looking like he’d been hit by a truck. “That’s very generous of you. I’ll be sure to relay the information to my precious heart in the future should she, in fact, choose to conceive a vampire/dragon infant in her delicate frame.”

“Ah. She’s not actually pregnant yet. Just thinking about it. That makes sense.” I tried not to feel disappointed and failed. “You’d be a great dad. Families are really cool.”

He frowned at me then slowly nodded. “I don’t know much about family. To be honest, when I took you in, it was for the experimental possibilities more than the sentimental ones, but I truly came to love you. You are utterly lovable. I can’t imagine anyone not adoring you once they came to know you.”

And now I had a lump in my throat. “Thanks. I really, really appreciate you saying that.”

After another moment’s pause, he came back to the table, held out a hand until I took it and then he pulled me into a solid hug. He patted my back beneath my wings. “There, there, little sun-born vampire. I’m sorry I don’t give you enough hugs.”

I sniffled, but didn’t cry. I didn’t need more blood tracks down my face. “Hugs are weird for dragons.”

“And vampires, but truly, weirdness is exactly what I am.”

I snickered and then pulled away to beam at him. “Thanks. I’m feeling solidly better, promise. And I wasn’t really all that sad even if I was lying on the floor. It was just that the wings were heavy, and I was weak from the lack of blood. But I’ll do better about keeping up my blood bags. Promise!”

He slowly nodded. “That’s what Mitt is here for, but he seems to be distracted lately. At any rate, enjoy your day, and I look forward to seeing you on the show this evening. Libby and her friends have been watching it together, and they have very strong opinions about who you should vote off tonight, and who you should finally give a red rose to.” He flashed a mischievous smile. “But you seem to enjoy disappointing your audience. Good. Vote for yourself.”

He left me alone with a more settled soul. So what if I was a carcass-eating monster with invisibility wings that wanted to proclaim themselves to the world? That was kind of weird that they were so excited about coming out in public if they were shy to the point of disappearing. I definitely needed to get to know my wings better. But not today.

When I got to the castle, I walked past Hallie, who was frowning in deep thought, probably about the truth of the soul, barely nodding at me, and then Richard grabbed my arm and dragged me into the side hall. He pinned me to the wall, looked left and right and then focused on my face.

He blinked, suddenly realizing how close we were and took two steps away, raising his hands in surrender. “Sorry. I just need to talk to you. You didn’t answer my messages, so…”

I shook my head and straightened up, putting my internal organs back in their proper places. Specifically my heart which had lodged itself in my throat upon such close contact with my good friend. “I need to get to the study so Pearly White can interview me about the duets. I don’t have a lot of time today. Sorry.”

“Maybe lunch? I can make a picnic and we can…”

I shook my head and edged away. “It’s going to be a quick protein shake lunch while I prep for the voting.” I couldn’t control myself around him, and I wasn’t going to make things more awkward between us. He just looked so perfectly pastel prince-like, even in borrowed clothes.

He leaned against the wall and nodded. “Right. I just thought I should give you a heads up about the wedding.”

“You mean that they want to use fake flowers? I know, it’s shocking, but they’ll last longer, and with the tv show pre-recording most of the final episode, it⁠—”

He shook his head, tight. “No, the one that happened yesterday. My dad married us. That’s what those congratulations were about. It seemed weird, but I didn’t…”

A spinning cyclone of despair and absolute rage ripped through me until I was the one pinning him to the wall, squeezing his shoulders too tight and growling at him. “We aren’t married!”

He nodded, but still relaxed, like he didn’t see me as a threat. “It’s crazy. The most I can figure is that he married us so that I can understand what it feels like to be coerced against my will. Like I did with you and the binding. He probably considers it illegal, and he doesn’t like when I break the law. He thinks it sets a bad example.” He rolled his eyes, like this wasn’t the most epically horrific thing in the entire world. I couldn’t marry someone I was in love with if he wasn’t in love with me! That would be torture, and I’d invade his space all the time, and it would ruin our friendship.

I released him and stepped back, crossing my arms. “I don’t believe it.” I was starting to really panic. What did he mean, we were married? And what did he mean, his dad vengeance married us?

He shrugged and gestured with a hand. “Okay. I mean, it’s only legal in this country. It doesn’t make that much difference. I mean, you can still go ahead and marry whoever you choose at the end of the competition. We’ll just be best friends forever without mentioning the marriage thing.”

He was such an idiot. Could I smack him?

“You think my second husband won’t mind that I’m married to someone else, and that person is my best friend forever? Really? And when you get married, your wife will be just fine with it? There isn’t a more official body in the world than the HOST.”

He started frowning. “I’m not getting married. I tried, really, I did, but it’s not in my nature.”

“Except that you’re my husband now? How is that in your nature?” I spun around and stalked off before I put him through the stone wall. He was so stupid. He wanted to die or he wouldn’t be playing these games.

I marched to the hall, trying to breathe evenly, but everything was spinning. Richard and I were married? It hadn’t just been in my head? Did Richard actually not know about it? It seemed like something he’d know about, but he’d specifically said that he didn’t know, and that kind of outright lie should be something an angel wouldn’t do. Richard was an idiot who hadn’t told me about the life-binding or that he was SunRae, but he’d never specifically lied about it. But I’d never said ‘I do.’ So it didn’t count, even if the Commander of the HOST’s said we were married. Unless we said ‘I do,’ it wasn’t true. Except that he couldn’t lie. But he’d never specifically said that we were married. So…

Pearly White took my hand and drew me into the chair next to the fireplace, my head still spinning. “Princess, so good of you to join us. You’ve had quite a whirlwind week with all the rehearsing. You didn’t know it’d be quite so intensive, but the results show your efforts, as well as your partners’. I’m so looking forward to watching these with you and then getting your reactions and hearing some behind the scenes making of. I’m not going to ask you which is your favorite, because we don’t want the audience to be influenced, but you can talk about the music, and which piece was the most difficult.”

I smiled brightly and gave a light laugh. “I’m so excited to get started.” Did any of it matter if I was already married?

He gestured elaborately, and curtains pulled back around the windows to reveal a screen.

The first music video was of me and Banus Jones. For an incubus, he looked more like a businessman than a lover, although he was truly handsome, and seemed extremely respectful and considerate of me. We looked comfortable together, and the music was pleasant to hear. That was the word, ‘pleasant.’

After it ended, and the lights came back on, Pearly White turned to me eagerly. “You seem to enjoy one another’s company, but I’m not sure I see much of a spark. Was this piece hard to perform?”

“It was quite a simple song, and I enjoyed singing with Banus. He’s very pleasant.”

Pearly White gave me a long look before he turned to the camera and gave them a significant look. “You heard it from her. Banus Jones, the Incubus, is pleasant. We’ll be back with the fairy’s duet after the break.”

He lowered his microphone and turned to look at me, his eyes narrowed as he studied me coldly. “Maybe show more emotion about the contestants. Pleasant? Really? Do you want to make him cry? I do, but that’s me. He’s unbearably smug. He thinks because he’s got money, he doesn’t need anything else.”

“I don’t think he’s like that. I like him.”

He flashed sharp teeth. “Because he’s being pleasant. Because he sees you as a business acquisition.”

“Or I like him because I understand his motives and appreciate his straightforwardness.”

He shrugged. “Moving on.” He turned to the camera while it zoomed in and he flashed his notorious smile. “Ladies and gentlemen, and now for the duet between our operatic diva and our fair princess. Are you ready to see the fruits of your labors?”

I nodded and smiled as excited as I could, but remembering the duet with the fairy left a chunk of cement in my stomach. Heavy. So exhausting and without any enjoyment.

I watched the beautifully designed video, and Fellicci’s voice was glorious. My voice was not operatic, so it was jarring to go between one to the other. Still, it wasn’t terrible. We both looked very pretty.

“Wow! I think I can speak for all of us when I say, wow! It must have been incredible to work with such a professional!”

I smiled at him and nodded. “He taught me so much! I’m so grateful for the opportunity to really see how a professional musician approaches a serious performance.”

“Hmm.” He cocked his head and put a hand on his chin in a classic thinker pose. “But it seemed almost as if it were more of a solo than a duet. I’m not sure why, but it’s as if it’s more about his voice than yours. Did it feel like that at all?”

“He’s the professional. Of course I can’t match his abilities, so I’m afraid it wasn’t a very balanced piece. If he’d been matched with someone who could perform as well as him, then that would have been better.”

“So…” He shook his head slightly, “Not a match? Don’t answer that. We’ll be looking at the werewolf’s duet…when we come back.” He flashed his terrifying smile and then the cameras moved away.

“What a diva,” he said, shaking his head. “A real professional would have put the balance of the piece before his own showboating. You must have been miserable working with him. I’ve heard rumors about how absolutely awful it is to work with him, but now we know for ourselves. Better enthusiasm. Good. All right, and now for the wolf. Try not to show too much contempt. We don’t want the audience to feel like he was unfairly hated.”

“And now we’re back,” he said, turning to the camera and smiling. “For the amazing duet between the princess…” the camera panned to me, then back to himself. “And the wolf. Tell me Princess, Katriana, how many hours did you spend rehearsing each day?”

“Um, six to eight?”

He gave a shocked expression even though he already knew all about it. “Just for rehearsal? And then the music videos must have taken hours.”

“And the recording. It was more intense than I expected, but the results are amazing. The people who worked on these should be very proud. I hope you’ll have all their names in the credits, because their work was exemplary. Costume, makeup, lighting, and of course the camera people. And then the editing? I can’t imagine how much time must have gone into these, and they’re absolutely brilliant. Each one is a masterpiece whether you liked the music or not.”

Pearly White gave me a slow smile. “Do you think so? I have to agree. I’ve been working in television for a long time, and if the video editor’s skills were for sale, I’d purchase them in a heartbeat. Richard the Lion did the technical editing of each music video. Apparently, he does that for the angelic promos, and he has an eye.”

I stared at him while my stomach tangled. “Wow. That’s probably why his account has such amazing cinematics.”

“Mm. Undoubtedly. Well, let’s not jump ahead to the angel when we have the wolf’s performance to enjoy.”

That music video was more fun to watch than the one with the fairy. It wasn’t great music, or memorable in any way, but I was clearly having more fun, and it showed. Ah. That’s why Richard talked to me about having fun, because he’d seen how much fun I hadn’t been having with the fairy through the camera lens.

The kiss at the end made my skin crawl, but other than that, it was an okay video about two predators fighting over the night and contemplating working together. Claws and Fangs.

When the lights came on, Pearly White gave me an expectant look. “That kiss! Was it part of the video or a spontaneous thing?”

I shook my head. “It was a surprise.”

“A pleasant one, I hope.”

I only laughed and tried to keep smiling.

“All right folks, we’ll be back after this.” He dropped all expression and studied me. “Be braced for the last video. It’s much more sensual than you’d expect from an angel. He must have stayed up all night editing. It’s like a fever dream meets a fairy tale. And so ridiculously sensual. He could be the incubus in this thing. I’m not sure he should publicly display this sort of blatant desire, but since he gave it to me, and it’s going to drive ratings, I’m taking it.”

“But that’s not…” I stopped abruptly when the camera turned to him and his tv smile.

“Welcome back. Thank you for joining us on this epic duets showcase. You, and the princess will have to decide who the true winner is…and who gets to go home. The angel doesn’t perform often publicly, so sit back, and enjoy the show. Does he steal the spotlight, or does he make his princess shine?”

The camera flashed to me and I gave a smile that hopefully was less sickly than I felt. The lights went off and the last music video came on.

Chapter

Nineteen

It started with him walking through an orchard looking like a vision of golden desire. That’s the word. Desire. His eyes when they met the camera were melting blue pools that stripped away every one of your inhibitions. And there I was, looking ready to be stripped.

I closed my eyes because no one would know if I didn’t watch this, and frankly, I’d already seen him in the tub and didn’t need more fuel for my brain. Except if we were married…My eyes popped back open to see him take my hand and slide his fingers over my wrist. Such a nothing, but it was so…

I shivered, but I couldn’t look away. The entire thing was a seductive dance, and he was representing hard for the golden team. Wow. Also, he didn’t sing as much as I expected, mostly took the harmony parts, and I sounded absolutely fabulous. Everything was in my best range, and I killed it. The angelic support didn’t hurt, but mostly it was about our duet, two voices blending, him supporting me, wanting me, needing me to know I was wanted, worthy, and absolutely everything. It was a love song that made me ache more stupidly than I ever had before.

The end, singing together in the bower while the dawn came up, it was very suggestive, and I was blushing by the time the lights came on and Pearly White turned to me.

“Do you have any thoughts on that? You look at that and think, ‘the editing!’” He chuckled darkly and turned to the camera. “I think that video spoke for itself. When we come back, we’ll get to see who you, and the Princess choose to stay and give a red, red rose.”

When the cameras clicked off, I slumped back on the chair, heart beating too fast, blood pumping beneath my skin, probably blushing everywhere.

“I warned you,” Pearly said, studying me with cold, analytical eyes.

I shook my head. “Because you knew what my reaction would be. How could he post a video like that? The entire world will think he’s a seducer!”

He shook his head. “On the contrary. If you’re watching it from any other point of view you are absolutely the one who seduced the angel and brought about his downfall. Everyone will be hoping that you make him an honorable husband.”

I got up and walked out of the room, barely not running. Of all the ridiculous… And apparently we were already married.

I needed air, cold and clear, so I went to the stairs leading to the roof. Once up there, I remembered the werewolf music video and the awful kiss, but it was nothing compared to the angel’s performance. Seduction. Only apparently I was the villainous seductress. Was I? The video had shown me, and I’d been pretty enough, and I’d looked in love, because I was supposed to look in love, but I wasn’t nearly as irresistible as the angel. But maybe I did look like I was seducing him. But I’d only done what he told me to do!

Maybe that’s why the Commander married us, because he worried that otherwise I’d seduce his son, and then he’d be a fallen angel and get thrown out of his ranks, and become…What would he become? A world class baker and videographer. That wouldn’t be so bad. Still, he needed his purpose, and that was to destroy evil. But he’s the one who gave the video to Pearly White. Maybe I could convince him not to publish it when the show went live.

I shook my head. There was no way Pearly White wouldn’t publish something that gave him better ratings.

I paced and tried not to freak out. My wings were going to come out if I got too upset. I could feel them pulsing under my skin, and a carrion creature was the last thing we needed to add to this nonsense. What was I going to do? The audience wasn’t going to vote Richard off, and if I did, I’d look like a bad person, throwing him away after I’d seduced him, but what else was there?

The door clicked open and I whirled around to find the werewolf, Hughenot Raferty. He pulled out some cigarettes and started smoking. It was a weird scent, almost…My wings came out and I launched at him, knocking him to the gravel and flicking away the offending cigarettes, that were some kind of soporific agent. I wasn’t about to be drugged by some werewolf. My life was messy enough.

He looked up at my wings, eyes wide with horror before he started to smile. “He doesn’t know about the wings, does he? He doesn’t know the kind of monster you really are.”

Rage absolutely fueled me. This creature had kissed me without my consent, marking me like I was some prize he could take. And now he was going to reveal my monster to Richard? I was going to kill him and eat him to get rid of the evidence. I didn’t care how the physics applied of consuming something more massive than myself. I was just going to do it. Except that would be two weeks in a row without a contestant to vote off. And I really, really wanted to vote this wolf off. Maybe he’d tell Richard about my wings, but that was a risk I was going to take.

I grabbed him by the throat, carried him to the edge, and threw him off.

His shriek was incredibly satisfying. The fall wouldn’t kill a werewolf, but it should take him some time to heal, and then he’d be voted off, and not get the chance to talk to Richard.

“Katriana?”

Speak of the devil! Richard was here! On the roof, and… My wings slicked around me, tighter than a mummy board, leaving only a slit for my eyes so I could see him come out onto the roof, looking around, and frankly being way, way, way too hot in Mitt’s shirt and Banus’s pants. If I held still, he’d go away. Would he see me? His gaze panned over me, but didn’t stop. Good. I’d just hold still until he left.

“I heard a scream. I hope it wasn’t you.” His mouth tightened as he walked slowly in my direction. “I can vaguely feel your presence through the life-binding. Aren’t you here?” He walked zigzagged towards me until he was a foot away, then he reached out and touched my wing.

I gasped and shrank deeper in my wings while he stepped back, looking relieved. “You’re invisible?”

“Um…I don’t want to talk about it.”

He nodded like that made sense. Who wanted to talk about random invisibility? “Good. I’m glad you weren’t the one who screamed. It sounded like a werewolf. The kind that waxes his legs. Has a very girly shriek.” He grinned in my general direction and I tried not to feel weird.

“He should be fine by the time we have to vote on the live segment. I’m fine, so you can go now.”

He frowned and shook his head, looking furious. “I’m an idiot! I’m such an idiot! I love you!” He ran a hand through his hair and shook his hair while it puffed out like a lion mane. He seemed actually upset about loving me. Like the best friends forever love? “It all started with emotional intimacy. That’s how it was for my dad and my nanny. They just got comfortable together, sharing their feelings and thoughts, and building a relationship that way.” He scowled at me. “I’m slaughtering this. How can you believe that I passionately adore you and love you when I didn’t even realize it until after the music video when Lorien dumped a bucket of ice over my head and told me that we were married. I mean, I realized while I was watching the video that I’d fallen for you, and I didn’t care how far I fell. And then I started wondering how long I’d been like that, and I can’t remember not feeling like you were the best, kindest, most loyal and beautiful creature in existence. The first time we met…” His eyes warmed and his smile was the sweetest thing. “You were so fearless. So loyal to your guardian, and so absolutely adorable. You don’t know how rarely I am charmed, but I was. And then when I realized who it was that was following me on social media, I could have—should have—just closed the door and focused on the real threats, but instead I let you become important to me. I let you see who I was beyond the cocky, indestructible force of whatever. I became something more with your encouragement and affection.”

He took a deep breath and gazed towards me. “Could I hold your hand? I’m not sure you haven’t turned to smoke and escaped again.” He held out his strong hand, eyes hopeful.

I sighed and slipped my hand awkwardly out of the folds of the wing. It was weird to see my disembodied hand floating there, but Richard took it like it was completely normal. And he felt so good.

His eyes were soft, luminous blue with a rim of gold, and so intent. “Thank you. I should have realized that I loved you with my whole soul when I kept my phone notifications on all the time so I could answer when you messaged me. Even in the middle of battle, I’d stop to message you. Except for that one time I was staked down by this giant kraken for two days while he tried to figure out how to kill me. That was boring. I missed so many of your messages. Sorry about that.”

My heart throbbed, beating painfully in my chest. “You were staked down for two days?” And he loved me? Like a best friend forever?

“Yes. It chopped off my head, but doesn’t seem to have done any damage, probably because I never used it much. Forgive me for being so stupid. For lying to myself for so long. I should have realized when I life-bound us. Who does that unless they’re irrevocably in love?”

I swallowed hard while I clung to his hand. In love? Like not just best friends forever? Like romantically? But he couldn’t. He’d said he couldn’t. I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. “You don’t know me. Not really. And you should find a nice angel to have pretty babies with and I can be their auntie.” The thought of Richard having angel babies didn’t give me nearly the same sense of excitement as the idea of Libby having children did. Nope, quite the opposite. I might die.

His eyes were concerned. “You don’t want children? Because my blood isn’t poisonous to you. Not that childbirth isn’t dangerous at the best of times, and if you truly didn’t want children, that would be absolutely fine. Miracle can give my father adorable green grandchildren. I just want you.”

He looked so sincere, gazing into my left forehead because he couldn’t see my face. But seriously? He didn’t know me. I had to show him. I had to be honest with him and let him hate me for the monster I was.

I closed my eyes tight and willed my wings to unwrap. It took a second but then they unrolled and sprung up behind me like an enormous tent of clawed death.

Richard’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t release my hand, just looked up at the wings in awe. “You painted the claws! So cute, but next time maybe I can give you a hand, because I don’t think you could see what you were doing very clearly. Your wings are massive, much bigger than mine. Wait! Those wings look like a Mobat. Not really his technical name, not sure if he has one, but a friend of mine has wings that are just like this, minus the sparkly nail polish.”

“You have a friend who eats dead bodies?” I asked, hating to say the words, but knowing it was necessary.

His eyes absolutely lit up. “That’s why we’re friends. I sometimes have bodies that aren’t officially on the books, and he helps me dispose of them. He’s so great! Would you like to meet him? So your mother was a…”

“I think my father injected her with some Mobat DNA or magic or something. She was just a human.”

He nodded and leaned closer to me while he smiled. “Very cool. So we could fly together?”

And now I was blushing. Seriously? I needed my wings to hide my face again, but they liked him admiring them. “I guess. I don’t really know how to fly. I’ve only had the wings for a week.”

His brows rose. “A week? Wow. That must have been a shock. Did it hurt? Sometimes it hurts.” Now he was frowning in concern, like he cared about me, more than my wings or how monstrous I was.

I spoke slowly, feeling exposed, but also kind of brave. “It’s fine. Just not really my pastel princess vibe.”

His smile was sunshine. “But they’re like chocolate, and with the pink tips, it’s like chocolate and cotton candy. You’ll figure out a way to style them beautifully.”

I shifted, stomach twining from the way he was looking at me, so intent and soft and adoring. It’s how Michael looked at Libby when he didn’t realize anyone was watching. Was he actually in love with me romantically? He was sporadic and would probably lose interest like he did with his hobbies, but for now… “I guess, but they tend to ruin my dresses.”

He carefully touched the edge of my left wing between claws. “You’ll need special ordered dresses either low enough to go beneath the wings, or with slits for them to come out of. You’ve been keeping them under your skin? Can I see your rune?”

I nodded and then he turned my arm, like he already knew where it was.

“Very pretty. This is mine.” He showed me his arm with a rough scrawl outline of angel wings. “It was my first etched rune, and it shows. But my wings were annoying. The other angels without wings would make fun of me, say I was cheating because I could fly to the top instead of having to climb.”

“Because you had to be the best at climbing and flying?”

He grinned at me. “I’m slightly competitive.”

“So you probably just told me you were in love with me so that I’d vote you to stay on the show.” My heart beat faster and faster while I waited for his answer.

He frowned as he studied me. “If you don’t want me here, I’ll go.” He gave me a slight smile. “I’ll probably triple the guards, but I personally won’t be here to annoy you, not if it makes you uncomfortable. I know that you like being best friends forever, and I’d like to keep that, if it’s okay. I just thought I should be honest for a change of pace. And also in case you liked me being in love with you. Because we're married and all of that. I’d try to be a good husband. I’d do my best to protect you from my personality issues. I’d try not to take advantage of your good nature, your ability to forgive, and your sweet disposition. I’d love you forever, if you’d let me.”

Forever? He’d really love me forever? I stared at him while my heart beat faster and faster.

The door crashed open and Pearly White glared out at us. He took a double take of my wings and then just shook his head. “You have five minutes to put the wings away and get in position. Five minutes.” He closed the door, leaving me alone with the angel who had just offered me his heart and his best efforts at not being so stupid and annoying.

“We should…” I frowned down at my arm, the wings rune and with a shudder that went to my bones, pulled my wings back under my skin. I shuddered a few times after that and then noticed the way Richard was looking at me. So soft. So absolutely adoring. It kind of freaked me out. In the best way. Worst way. I couldn’t tell. My head was spinning and the world was insane.

“Can you fix my dress?” I asked him. “A repair spell or something?”

His eyes regained focus and he nodded. I turned and he ran his hand over my back, smoothing it and then spun me under his arm so my skirt flared and folded back around my legs. “Thank you for letting me be useful in some way to you. You should have your wings break your dresses every day. Forget about custom designs. Let me be here for you.”

“Forever?” I whispered.

He smiled slow and sweet then nodded. “Forever.”

I looked up at him while my heart pounded until I turned and marched resolutely towards the door. I needed to process, to think, and I needed to vote for myself.

Chapter

Twenty

“And now we’re back!” Pearly White said, smiling at the camera. “You’ve seen the music videos, the chemistry and the camaraderie. Now we get to see what our beautiful princess wants.” He flashed his teeth at me, warning me not to go off script. But this was my life. No one else was going to write it for me.

The entire world had seen that music video, had seen the prince of angels depicted as a fallen, lustful, objectified man. He was such an idiot. He hadn’t even thought about the implications, the fact that no one would trust him and years of careful PR would be completely wasted.

“Which duet will the princess choose as her favorite? The friendship that blooms in the dark?” he asked, gesturing at Banus. “The brilliant soloist?” He gave Fellicci a gesture that was slightly dismissive. “The predator who competes for her heart and her prey,” a nod to the wolf. “Or the angel who fell for her?”

My teeth ached from clenching them in a smile. Exactly. The angel who fell for her. He already seemed fallen. Maybe it was true. Forever. Whether it was or not, I had to fix this.

I took a deep breath and went to the vase filled with red and white roses, and I picked up the whole thing. I staggered until I channeled some vampire strength and straightened up, heading left, where Banus and the Fairy stood. Had they seen the videos? Fellicci looked like he expected to receive the entire bouquet for his fabulous performance. I took out a white rose and handed it to him.

“White for friendship,” I said, holding it with a smile while he stared at me, shock and outrage on his gorgeous face. “I’ll never forget how much you taught me. It was an honor to sing with someone so magnificent.” I left the white rose in his hands while I walked up to Banus. I pulled out another white rose and handed it to him. My smile was slightly more sincere. “It’s been such a pleasure meeting you. I’ll be grateful for the lessons you taught me about business and choosing the hand you can live with. Thank you for your friendship.”

He accepted the rose with a bow and a slight smile on his lips. “The pleasure is mine.”

I walked up the steps to the landing between the two staircases and then walked back down, past the angel and to the wolf who had a very colorful face. He must have landed on it. I could relate.

I handed him a white rose. “Thank you for teaching me that I don’t want to share my life with a werewolf.”

He bared his teeth at me, but I turned and then threw the remaining roses on Richard. Also the water in the bottom of the vase. Oops.

He stood there dripping, red and white roses sliding off his shoulders, face wet and shocked.

I turned to the camera. “After we rehearsed the song all day, we got married. Before the music video. We were actually online friends for five years before that, but I never thought anything romantic would come of it. But I was wrong. And I’m so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend.” I smiled at the camera while I gestured at the soaked angel dripping in water and roses behind me.

There was a beat of absolute silence and then everything erupted into chaos. The werewolf lunged at me, shifting into beast form, the fairy started screaming in some language I didn’t know, Sordivian? and Banus started laughing. His laugh was the first time he’d actually used his incubus allure, and it was enough to make me almost not dodge the werewolf’s jaws.

Richard’s sword came out, flames at the beast’s throat, and the werewolf pulled away, snarling and spitting in a truly excellent toddler tantrum.

The fairy switched to English, gesturing dramatically at me. “I can’t believe I wasted my talents on someone like you. Clueless, foolish, childish, and completely lacking in beauty and charm! You won’t have me? I won’t have you even more! A million times more!”

Banus smiled a gleaming smile at me that made my skin prickle. “If I’d realized that you wanted to be seduced, I certainly could have persuaded you to have me.” His smile faded and he sighed, shaking his head. “But if you were already friends with the angel before the show, how can anyone compete with true love like friendship?”

The werewolf growled and snarled with his beast face.

The Siren gave a grand gesture with his hand. “This is Pearly White, and once again, love has its way. We’ll close out with our princess dancing with the evening’s winner. I think it’s safe to say that the audience is pleased to finally land on the same page as the princess. Have a good night!”

Richard grabbed me around the waist and vaulted over the balcony, wings outstretched, still soaked and covered in roses and water. He landed with me and carefully placed the vase back on the table before leading me to the open space for dancing.

He kept his sword out, almost like he didn’t trust the werewolf or the fairy, and I was still freaking out about what had just happened. I’d announced that we were married to the world. Wasn’t that against the fine print? Would I owe Pearly White half of my soul for breaking the contract? I didn’t care if it saved Richard’s reputation, his career, his life.

The music began, our duet, and it was a waltz, so that made dancing easy. I held onto my manic smile and he held onto his sword.

“Why did you do that?” Richard murmured, barely glancing at me before refocusing on the others.

“Love must have its way,” I said weakly.

“You never said you loved me. I don’t think you know if you do. Everything was too sudden, but you’re making grand announcements like…” His hand tightened on my waist. “Specifically that we were married before the video. In case someone thinks I’m a fallen angel, and you have to protect my reputation. In spite of it already being in shreds which absolutely nothing could repair.” He frowned and shook his head slightly. “That’s not fair to you.”

I smiled for the camera even as I hissed at him. “That’s what you think, but no matter what else Richard the Lion is, fallen isn’t one of them. Rude, arrogant, vicious, egotistical, but never, ever impure. How could you throw away generations of angelic PR for absolutely no reason?” My heart beat faster as I clung to his strong shoulders. We were married. Publicly. Forever? Really?

He snorted, dipped me, and then spun us around so he could hold me more closely. “And you are my hero. I’m sorry I’m so stupid.”

I sighed through my smile. “It’s probably because you’ve gotten your head chopped off so many times.”

“Only three.”

“Three head choppings is too many times! Three slivers isn’t so many, but decapitations? One is so many, not to mention three. I can’t believe you let your head get chopped off three times. Never do that again,” I said through my gritted teeth. He was so careless with himself! Didn’t he know that there were things in the world that could permanently put him to death? And then what would I do? Forever. He’d promised forever, but he was so terrifyingly careless.

He smirked, eyes twinkling. “I can’t believe you can have this conversation without it showing on your face. You’re a born ambassador. That’ll be handy to have in a wife. And all those languages you know. You’ll be an absolute asset. And you’ll probably make me go to all the dull events that are good for angelic PR. My father will love you. Scratch that, he already loves you. Not as much as I love you. I love you so completely. Why are you so perfect?”

Yes, me and my carrion wings were so perfect. I almost glared at him and then kissed him until he passed out from not breathing, but managed to remember that we were on live tv. Was he really mine? Forever? To kiss whenever I liked? To protect from his own careless impulses? Really? I raised my chin. “I’ll make a point to be the perfect wife. Why are you so perfectly ridiculous?” Three beheadings? Seriously?

His smile was absolute adoration. Was he going to kiss me? He leaned close and murmured, “Why are you so perfectly perfect? Full stop. You really are absolutely everything I could ever…” He pulled away with a frown, glancing over my shoulder.

I turned my head in time to see the fairy pull off a butterfly necklace and throw it on the floor. He stomped on it, and up sprang a very symmetrical silver portal, bringing darkness and despair with it. He’d had that necklace on since the first meeting, but hadn’t used it until now. If Fellicci failed to kill me, he and everyone he loved died. I guess there were some perks to narcissism and not loving anyone but yourself.

The wolf went for the fairy, surprising everyone. “You’re going to get all of us killed!” Rafe screamed, words garbled in his half-wolf snout, but the gist was quite clear before he vanished in the darkness and the fairy’s shriek was also swallowed in the viscous shadows spilling from the silver frame.

Were we just going to keep waltzing? The glow of Richard’s sword was the only light in the room, but we continued to move in time to the music I couldn’t hear anymore. What was going on? Would I be able to keep him safe? He was the priority. My heart. My love. My angel. I couldn’t die now. I had to live, and so did he. No matter what.

A voice like death slithered through me, reverberating in my skull. I couldn’t tell if the words were inside or outside, but they pierced me to my delicate soul.

“You can’t save yourself, so how can you save him?” The words were soft, barely perceivable, but they beat at my sanity, which was always hanging by a thread.

I willed my wings out, wrapping Richard inside with me, which pulled us together, and vanished the light from his sword. The voice was also cut off, and it was just the two of us in the cocoon of my protection.

“Thank you,” Richard whispered, lips brushing my ear. Shiver. “I was starting to doubt whether I was worthy of you. That is, I already know I’m not good enough for you, but was almost convinced that I wasn’t what you wanted. It’s not about being good enough, but about being what you want. If I’m not what will make you happy, if I’m not what you want in your life, then I’ll leave, but until you decide that, I’m yours. Forever.” He kissed my hair and held me tight.

I shivered again and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my forehead to his neck, inhaling his sweet, sweet, glorious blood. And then I bit him. Because he said he was mine, and I needed the vampire in me to defeat this monster. The darkness smelled of the Vampire King, but not quite right. Why would my father want to kill me when he could have done so at any time before this? He’d given me to the Scholar. If he wanted me dead, why didn’t he just let me die when I was a helpless baby?

Rich groaned and wrapped around me, bodies closer than was entirely appropriate. Or at all appropriate. Except that we were married. How were we married? He tasted so good. Outside of this little cocoon was despair and misery, but in here was absolute bliss. This is what good relationships could be like, built with love that acted as a shield to protect you from the difficulties and hardships of the world. His thoughts bubbled over into mine, the sweetest thoughts filled with his love and devotion, but there was an underlying layer of fear, that he couldn’t protect me, that I’d be ruined for loving him, that he’d mess up worse than I could ever forgive. That he wouldn’t be enough to keep anyone’s love, like he hadn’t been good enough to keep his mother.

My heart ached for him, but I wasn’t drinking him because I wanted to taste his thoughts or because it made me happy on a molecular level.

I used his magic, his strength, with the blood binding and the life binding, and it was like having heavenly fire in my veins, rumbling power that seemed inexhaustible. I drew it into me and then I sent a tendril of seeking out of my cocoon, searching the darkness for the origin of the miasma of misery and depression that would devour everything if it could.

I found it, and slipped inside the mind of my own father.

He should have realized I was there, but instead he let me walk through an opium dream filled with images of my own blonde insane mother and someone else, blonde, sweet, innocent, until she turned and became a vision of blood and death that he had to put down. His sister. The one that reminded him of me. And my mother. The one that he’d hoped he could save from her demons, but only ended up killing with his love. Vampires couldn’t love. Vampires could never love or they’d break the world and their loves.

For a long time I was lost in his darkness until I felt Richard call me back, his lips on my ear. “I love you. I was lost until I found you. I’ll love you forever.”

I blinked and then refocused, firming up my mental boundaries so the Vampire King couldn’t get inside my head as I went into his, and then I went back out into the darkness. If I couldn’t stop him, we were all dead. Or undead.

His sadness and keening anguish beat at me, but I pressed through it, searching for the reason. Why did he come here to kill me? Why had he sent all of the assassins? But there was nothing about me at all. Only the misery of his past.

Richard bit my ear and I was once again in his arms, happily soaking in the feel of him. “Whatever you’re doing, I don’t like it. You’re turning cold in my arms even while you’re drinking my blood. I don’t mind you using my magic, but your life is precious.”

I licked his throat and pressed my fangs deeper while he made a sound of desire that brought back the bathtub scene and the bower. None of that.

I needed to focus. The Vampire King wasn’t here for me. He didn’t have motivation on his own and so must be externally directed. But who had the power to do that? Demons? Angels?

I sent my thoughts back to the Vampire King and went through his head, searching for the hooks in his psyche. Pain. I reached into that pain and found so much self-hatred and loathing, it almost swallowed me up, but somewhere Richard was murmuring the words of our duet, his sun-born perfect vampire. I wasn’t alone. And I wasn’t completely hateable. And neither was my father.

I found a memory of me, after I was born, when his hands were stained with my mother’s blood. She smiled at him like sunshine, like everything that had been cut out of his life when he’d been turned along with his sister.

Her voice was weak, but her soul was strong. “She’s so beautiful. Our love is so beautiful made flesh. Protect her from the darkness. You’ll do that. Because you love us.” She said it with so much faith. So much hope and trust.

His despair and misery was an ocean burying me down with him.

I struggled against the despair. “But you did protect me. You gave me to the Scholar, who would teach me everything I needed to know to be safe. Protected me from your court. You loved us well.” My words weren’t said out loud, but my intention was strong, loud as thunder and bright as lightning, cutting through the darkness. “You loved us well. You did your duty. You chose love against your nature. You saved me from your darkness.”

The hook dissolved, but there was another memory, his sister alive, making daisy chains and stories about how to defeat the dragon. Then a shadow fell over her, and she became the monster’s toy. Tortured, twisted into the darkest abyss. He’d failed to protect his sister. The monster turned him and then made him turn her. Instead of saving her, he condemned her to an eternity without a soul, damned in eternal torment.

There was no light, not in the darkness of that reality. Tears ran down my cheeks somewhere while Richard stroked my hair and murmured words of sweetness that held me together.

I forced the words out. “But you released her from the darkness. She’s at peace. You gave her peace instead of suffering. She loved you. She wants you to be at peace with your past. She loves you still. Like you love her. Love doesn’t have to be pain. Sometimes it’s more than pain. It’s purpose.”

The hook dissolved and then the darkness dissipated.

The moment he realized I was in his head was a horror. Instead of opium dreams, it was crystalline daggers, but he wrapped around me, pinning me down, holding me hostage in his head.

“You came to die.” His voice was much saner than earlier.

“No, I came here to save you. Someone else was controlling you. Unless you meant to crash my tv show and kill everyone. Also with the hiring of assassins. Goblins are so expensive.”

His mind was very still, but I could feel him stretching his awareness elsewhere.

With a snap I was released and placed inside my own mind with perfect smoothness, much better than I did it. Like he’d had centuries of practice or something.

“Show yourself,” the Vampire King commanded. “I would have words with my daughter and her new husband.”

I let my wings fall and like clockwork, Richard’s sword blazed to life, pushing back the darkness so I could see the Vampire King and his hungry court. So many fangs.

He gestured and his Herald came stumbling forward, dressed in red. “Why did you work to end my daughter’s life?”

Wait! Herald? Herald was the one setting up assassinations? Why on earth…

Herald managed to keep his composure instead of shriveling up in fear. “I wished her to join your court in her undying. It would be a great benefit for you to have family with you again.”

“And you personally…”

Herald licked his lips and a flash of nerves crossed his face. “You fade without purpose. My purpose is to see you strong.”

“You took my vulnerability towards my daughter and used it to blind me, to take over my will completely,” the Vampire King drawled, but then he turned to study me instead of his betrayer. “You have such power over me. That will not do. Choose. Join my court, or die.”

A golden fiery ray fell from the sky, landing in the midst of us and throwing back the shadows. Richard's father, the Commander of the Holy Order of the Swords of Truth straightened, chin raised as he stared down the immortal evil. “Retreat back to your home or die. I would not have our first reunion as a family stained with your blood, but if you insist. My new daughter will not be dying or undying this day.”

“And people think I’m dramatic,” Richard murmured.

I glanced up at him and his slight smile pushed me back from the edge of panic and despair to something much less dire. This was someone who had survived three beheadings. He’d taken some of my weakness, but he also had my strength. I’d been strong enough to go inside the Vampire King’s head and untangle it from his old Herald. Together we could do anything.

“You’re both dramatic,” I whispered back, smiling. Was this the time? I mean, we might die, and if so, it would be better if he died knowing that I loved him, and if I died knowing that I’d told him.

The Vampire King laughed, the kind of creepy laugh that made you think of haunted cemeteries and bodies dangling from trees. “You bound your son to my daughter. I will take both of their lives. Would I be able to turn him with such a binding? I would enjoy bringing one of the angels to my court.”

No. Now was not the time. Now was the time to panic!

Richard’s dad’s voice was strong, immovable, fearless. “I would call up my armies to defend my daughter from the Vampire King and his court.”

Richard’s dad smiled at my birth dad while I held onto my angel and tried not to faint.

A war between the Vampire King’s court and the angelic host on the outskirts of Singsong City? The angels would very likely win, because they’d pound everything until nothing survived. But was that really a win when it would take the city and who knew how many casualties with it? Also, if he’d flown down here to the Grand Hall, it no longer had a roof. The Vampire King’s darkness must have dissolved it. I liked the laws of physics to have more rational constraints, but what could I do?

I squared my shoulders and scowled at my father. “What kind of person punishes the one who saved him? I saved you from your Herald’s manipulations, and then you dissolve my castle and threaten us?”

He bared his fangs at me. Such large fangs. Such an old vampire. His voice was ice and despair. “I do not need saving! The one who needs saving is your pretty angel and the army tied to him by blood and will. They are life-bound to you, and you are mine!” He laughed this horrific laugh, and then the angels started screaming.

Richard’s inhale had me looking at him, and then watching in horror as he bled from his eyes. Did I look like that when I cried? Horrifying.

Richard carefully brushed his hand over my hair, eyes filled with resolve, not fear, as my father ripped him apart from the inside. I wiped away those blood tears and clung to him, guilt burning for causing this. But he’d life-bound us. Of course it would end badly. I was a monster.

“That’s right. We are bound through your daughter,” my angel said, voice slightly thin as he studied me with softness that didn’t go with the blood tears. “That makes us family. I can show you exactly how delightful it is to have me for a son.”

Wait, what?

He bent his head and pressed the sweetest, softest, purest kiss to my lips. This was definitely not the time, but in Richard’s head, I saw the spells, so elaborate, so layered, and then the heavenly fire bloomed inside my father’s veins along with his court.

The screams of vampires mingled with the angels. It was the most awful sound. I clung to Richard, tangled my fingers in his hair, wanting to drown in him and forget the rest of the world. His focus flickered and with that, the vampires fled, back through their portal, leaving us standing together in the remains of the Grand Hall.

Chapter

Twenty-One

Richard was smiling down at me, blood trails still fresh on his cheeks. “That was fabulous! Think what we could do if we practiced.”

I blinked at him, and at the open sky of stars, the cold wind blowing down. I was cold in spite of having drunk so much of his blood, and I couldn’t seem to relax my grip on his hair. “That wasn’t fabulous! We all almost died, and worse, your angels suffered!”

He rolled his eyes, actually rolled his eyes, the belligerent wretch, before he gave me the tenderest smile an idiot had ever given someone. “Angels love suffering. It reminds us that we’re alive.”

I yanked on his hair. “Yeah? You feel more alive now?”

His eyes crinkled as he smiled down at me, never flinching, the impossible creature. “I love you, so, yes, you bring all the dark corners of my miserable heart to life.”

I let go of him so I could throw my hands in the air. “Your angels suffer, but it’s fine because they like suffering? How about this. I don’t like your angels suffering.” I jabbed his chest. “I hurt when they hurt.”

He slowly frowned down at me. “Really? Oh, you do. So much empathy.” His eyes softened and he sighed. “I’ve happily never had much of that, but if we’re bound, I suppose I’ll have to get used to it. That will make me a better Commander. My father’s retiring, and I’ve already been voted in. For three years I’ve been voted in, but I’ve dodged it.” He sighed again. “With empathy, I’ll be so easy to manipulate.” He shrugged. “All bad things come to an end.”

“You’re a Commander? How is that going to work with us…”

A sphere of flickering electricity appeared and then dissolved, revealing Pearly White and the other contestants gathered closely together in a crouch. “That’s what I call a finale!” Pearly said, straightening up and beaming around at the stones dissolved in weird patterns of what had been the castle.

Fellicci whimpered and put a hand to his face, over the werewolf’s bite. “I’m ruined!”

Banus growled at him. “Grow a spine, you nitwit! Who makes such a stupid deal? I should have bitten off your face sooner. That was the only redeeming part of this enormous waste of time.” He wandered off, raising his phone to call for a ride out of there, apparently cutting his losses.

Banus flashed an extremely attractive smile all around. “Well, I suppose this show is over. I need to get going.”

A stone gargoyle took that moment to land with a thud I felt through my bare feet. “Banus Jones, I’m taking you in for tax fraud.”

“Tax fraud,” I whispered, staring at the incubus.

He sighed heavily and his shoulders slumped. The gargoyle grabbed him over his shoulders and flew away, stones muscles flexing, and wings kind of similar to mine, enough to make me think that maybe they didn’t have to be a sign of my evil nature, because everyone knew that gargoyles were the defenders of humanity.

“So that’s what his deal was,” Richard murmured. “You don’t get a billionaire incubus on a dating show without a reason. Not that anyone wouldn’t want to marry you, but he didn’t know you. He did know that you’re friends with gargoyles.”

Was I friends with gargoyles? “But tax evasion? That’s just not very romantic.”

Richard eyed me. “What is romantic?”

“Well, our boat date would have been romantic if you didn’t life-bind me while I was sleeping.”

He tsked. “I definitely should have thought it through before life-binding you against your will.”

“You should have thought a lot of things.”

He nodded soberly. “Not to say that I regret it. It saved your life, and I’ve been well and thoroughly in love with you for years. Your life is worth any price.”

I thumped his muscular chest. Why did he feel so good? “You can’t be serious! Not any price. Your comrades suffered needlessly!”

“To defeat an evil creature, they are very happy to suffer. Angels are always full of suffering, this just give it some purpose.”

I glared at him. Of all the idiotic things to say! “How can you be so irresponsible? You owe them all an apology.”

He looked around. There were no angels. Where did everyone go? Pearly White was checking some equipment to see if it was salvageable, but it didn’t look like it. Everyone else on the crew seemed to have taken off when they had the chance.

“I’m very sorry,” he said loudly, lips twisting into a smirk.

I grabbed his shirt, or rather Mitt’s shirt. “Why do you keep wearing this?”

“Because someone keeps stealing all of my other clothes. I had a whole set of floral embroidered stuff, but the angels get their revenge. But they can’t steal someone else’s clothing. That would be wrong.” He rolled his eyes.

“So they torture you?”

“All the time.” That smirk. And those gleaming eyes, like he liked being tortured.

“Probably not as much as you deserve.”

“Certainly not.”

I had the flickerings of an idea in the back of my mind. I spoke slowly while I twisted my hands in Mitt’s shirt. “And so you can’t, in fact, buy your own fantasy wardrobe, because it’ll be stolen by the avenging angels? Then you need me to buy it and keep it for you.”

He went very still as he stared at me. His words were carefully devoid of emotion. “I need you. Yes. But only if you want me to need you. I’m not forcing you, and my father isn’t forcing you, and your father…” He made a face. “I’m sensing a theme. I’m truly, truly sorry I became one of the fools who didn’t see that you’re strong enough. More than enough.” He sighed and took a step backwards, but I was still attached to his shirt.

“Where are you going?”

His shoulders stiffened. “The show is over. Back to life. Back to war. Back to baking Vesper ridiculously opulent mini cakes that he doesn’t appreciate. Unless you wanted me to do something else…” He glanced up at me with the most come-hither anyone had ever hithered. “That’s right. You probably want an annulment. I’ll pay for a lawyer for you. You can’t be forced to marry someone against your knowledge and will.”

If he needed me to buy his fantasy wardrobe, what could I do? I yanked on his shirt, pulling him closer to me. “I don’t think it was against my will, exactly. Didn’t I message you once that I’d marry you if you were a man?”

He stared at me for a long time before giving a tiny shake his head. “I forbid you from forgiving my father so easily. It’s too late, you’ve already forgiven him. You’re just too quick to let things go. You need to make him suffer. Make me suffer. He married us against our wills. And I life-bound us against your will. We deserve pain!”

I rolled my eyes and let go of his shirt and took his hands instead. His responding grasp around mine was so perfectly like home. “I think having you for a son is enough suffering.” I winced. “Also me for his daughter. Do you think the Vampire King is going to try that again, using me as a weakness against all the angels?”

“No.” His brow furrowed. “Did you just suggest that you wouldn’t be the best, most angelic daughter anyone could possibly hope for? You did. That’s heresy!”

I rolled my eyes. “So much drama. Are you sure you don’t want to become an opera singer or some kind of stage performer? Think, you could outshine Fellicci! That would be moderately satisfying, right?”

He tilted his head as he studied me. “You really don’t see how absolutely precious you are. Do you mind if I fly you to the cottage? The atmosphere here lacks walls and roofs. I feel like angels are hiding behind every broken turret, nosily listening in.”

I looked around, but there was no sign of an angel or anyone else. “My cottage?”

He swung me up in his arms like that was consent, and then spread his wings, and flew me in a blink, and then we were in front of the small building. He carried me through the front door like he lived there while my head spun from the speed of the flight. Not that I couldn’t handle speed when I flickered into smoke, but it was a very different thing to have someone else carry you so quickly.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he walked to the small overstuffed couch and flopped over on it, still holding me so I ended up on his lap.

“I’m trying to persuade you to stay married to me. Do you mind?” He tilted my chin so I was looking into his soft blue eyes.

Being so close, knowing that he wanted to stay married to me, it was enough to make it hard to swallow. “I mean, it’s strange to have you in my cottage. It doesn’t feel appropriate without a chaperone.” And now I was thinking of the music video. Was it warm in there?

He smiled sweetly. “That’s one of the excellent reasons to stay married: we don’t need a chaperone. Another reason: I couldn’t help but notice that your father lacks a certain warmth and positivity. My dad is a wonderful father. Pushy, stubbornly believing in you when you don’t believe in yourself, and always there when you need him, at least if you let him be. He is likely slightly more diabolical than your father, but that means he’d be an excellent choice of babysitter if we were to have fifteen angelic terrors. Plus the pets.” He got a gleam in his eyes as he considered the torture his children would inflict on his father. There was more than a streak of sadistic monster in my husband.

My husband? Had I actually thought of him like that? But…

Richard brushed his nose against mine. “If you stayed married to me, you could keep my dad. He gives really excellent chicken feather hugs. And he makes a really nice chicken noodle soup when you’re pretending to be sick because you’re depressed. That sounds like cannibalism, but what’s a little chicken between family?” He frowned. “Speaking of chickens, Miracle will turn you into a diva if you let her. Your singing has a lot of potential, and there’s nothing she hates worse than untapped musical potential. I don’t suppose you’d like an unhinged musician as a sister. She always wanted a sweet, adorable, sun-born vampire sister. No, she just wanted someone interested in music, and since you put that interest directly after baking, you’ll pass.” He frowned. “It’s hard to sell Miracle. You either love her, or you don’t, and I realize that as a set, we’re a bit much.” He sighed heavily. “No, I don’t suppose my family would convince you to stay married to me.”

I stared down at our hands, my heart beating faster and faster in my chest. “I’ve always wanted a sister, and I like unhinged musicians better than divas.”

His eyes glowed as he brushed his thumb over my cheek and murmured, “If you find the idea of living amongst the angels untenable, we could have the cutest cottage pastel-princess-and-pet-baking platform. War as a purpose is distinctly hollow. You see, I’ve found a new purpose in you.”

I stared down at our hands tangled together and my heart beat faster and faster, his golden skin mottled with scars, my hand much less marked by war and violence. He was going to be a commander. That would be a much safer position, much less likely to lead to decapitations than his current ‘fight in every battle however impossible it is to win’ attitude. Three beheadings? I couldn’t even…

I swallowed hard while the silence grew heavy and thick between us. Could I accept a life with him? He was such a public figure, and I wanted…What did I want? He was offering me everything and asking for nothing in return. Except that I stay married to him, that I not reject him.

My words came out slow and hesitant as I looked up at him shyly through my lashes. “I don’t think being a pastel princess is a very worthy purpose. I’d like to try that ambassador thing you were talking about. I mean, if you’re representing angels, you need someone to make sure you don’t start a war by doing something…rash.”

He studied me, still, intent until he raised a brow, lips quirking, lightness above the dead serious. “Rash? You’ve elevated me from idiotic to rash? How diplomatic of you. We could do both. We could have a cottage with our adorable pets and also do state dinners and balls and so on. In fact, there’s a little cottage in the woods behind my father’s house. It’s currently full of pans, but I could build a shed for them. And your dresses. Probably my weapons.”

“And my notebooks. I’ll need to keep up my studies.” I looked down at our hands again, terrified of being seen, of wanting so much that I didn’t deserve.

“No! Don’t tell me that I’ll come home to my wife with gouged out eyeballs from translating ancient texts. Although you’d likely look adorable with gouged out eyeballs.”

I held my breath while those words, ‘come home to my wife,’ pounded in my brain. I finally raised my eyes to his, and saw in that gaze the same terrified uncertainty I felt, wanting so much of what he didn’t think he deserved, but asking for it anyway. He was so brave to ask for what he wanted. Maybe I could be brave too.

“Okay,” I whispered, heart beating faster, and faster, wanting to take off and fly away.

He leaned closer, hope and terror growing in his eyes. “Okay?”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll stay married to you and live in a little cottage behind your father’s house. On one condition.”

“Did I say it was little? It’s not. Right. What’s the condition? It doesn’t matter. It’s done.” He looked at me with so much intent, so much longing. “I will try my best to be less stupid.”

I grinned at him and shook my head. “That’s not my condition.”

“No? What is the condition?” He frowned intently, all of his energy and attention on me. He was made of so much energy. Our children would be absolute terrors. Children? Really?

My heart glowed and warmed in my chest as I smiled slowly. “The condition is that you love me forever.”

He closed his eyes, looking like a sleeping angel, or like someone had given him an instantaneous death. “Why would you want me to love you forever, Princess?”

I swallowed hard and then whispered against his ear, “Because I love you.”

For a moment time stopped as we both stopped breathing. Then he shifted, dropping to the floor at my feet while he gazed up at me, his wings outstretched while he clasped my hands. “You love me? Even though I’m an idiot, and I lied, and bound you without your consent, and got you married without your knowledge?”

I hesitated then nodded. I really, really, really did. I loved him so much from his ego to his outstretched arm in the tub. And now I was blushing. “Yes, I love you.”

He nodded soberly. “Perfect. You’re as mental as the rest of us. You’ll fit right in.” He picked me up, threw me over his shoulder like a barbarian, and carried me away.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, breathlessly clinging to his shoulders.

“Bed. I’m about to pass out, and it should be somewhere I can comfortably regenerate all the blood you stole while you stare at me like a stalker. Or maybe that’s you that needs to be comfortable. Definitely you. And then when I wake up, we’ll start on our happily ever after. I’ll bake so many marvelous things for you. And kissing. Do you think it would help you forget what a bad idea it is to accept our marriage if I kiss you fairly often?” He set me carefully down on the bed and then collapsed beside me, almost boneless. I really had taken a lot of his blood. Funny that it took so long to catch up to him.

I curled up around him, resting my head on his chest in the perfect hollow between his shoulder and his pectoral. “I should probably tell you that I saw you in your tub. It was a bit stalkerish of me, but I promise I wouldn’t have been there if it weren’t for the goblin assassins.”

He opened his eyes and frowned at me. “You saved me from goblin assassins? Did you eat the bodies?”

I blinked at him. He said it with absolutely zero condemnation. I shook my head. “I burned them with heavenly fire.”

He nodded. “Next time, you should eat them. It’ll make you stronger. One thing my wife will need to be is strong. That is, if you’ll have me. To be perfectly honest, I’ve scrolled on your account more than is entirely healthy. Seeing you gives me peace. Knowing you’re somewhere in the world, being a bright beacon for happiness and adorableness makes me happy. I love you so incredibly much. I can’t believe it took me so long to realize it. My father must have known. Everyone must have known. Except for me.”

“Well, you are…”

“An idiot,” we said together, then burst out laughing.

He nuzzled my hair. “I truly am compared to my brilliant wife. That’s the amazing thing about you, however educated, talented, and powerful you are, you have this eternal air of humility and kindness. I hope you rub off on me. I need more virtue if I’m going to live up to my father’s legacy.”

“You don’t need to live up to anyone else. You’ll build your own legacy. You’re good enough without trying to be someone else.”

He bit my shoulder. The shock was like sweet lightning and honey. I growled and pinned him, but he only smiled with his eyes shut. “Passing out soon. I love you. Forever.”

“Forever is a long time.”

“Not long enough.”

His arms tightened around me. Together we would build our own world. Something beautiful, magic, and full of love that would last forever.

And while he was unconscious I was going to give him a rune he’d never see coming. Marriage was all about equality.

Epilogue

“Happy Birthday Katriana! Happy Birthday, to you!”

The song erupted into kazoos and clapping while Madame Granite hit the last thundering chords on the piano. The Cat’s Pause shook with the cheers, or maybe that was just my chair, as it was perched on two legs, and me balanced on top of my angel who was balancing on the chair while juggling kittens.

“Sh,” he said when the cheering went on too long. “Black Heart doesn’t like the noise.”

I beamed at him. “You’re such a good pet papa.”

He smiled like he didn’t mind the rune in his arm that made him able to understand our kittens.

“Katriana,” Sultry said, leaning over to hand me a present, dark eyes seductive as usual. “I got a new text, Egyptian, but with interspersing Armenian! Would you like to look at it with me this week?”

Richard thumped the chair to the floor, all four legs, and wrapped his arm more securely around my waist, losing a kitten in the process. “My wife and I will be out of town all week. All month. I intend to keep her very busy.” He ran his nose along my neck, and I shivered, all goosebumps and happiness.

I gave her an apologetic smile. “Maybe next time.”

“Never,” Richard growled in my ear. “Your eyeballs are precious.”

I elbowed him. That was too close to admitting I didn’t like translating, and I’d never, in a million years want anyone else to know that I’d suffered in any way during my time with the people I loved so much. “We have the inauguration coming up, and with all of the events, I’ll be very busy. With events.”

He bit my neck. “Events,” he murmured against my skin.

I elbowed him again. Seriously. It’s like he wanted people to think he was completely fallen and obsessed with carnal desires when the truth was that he spent hours and hours every day taking over the massive machine that was the HOST from his father. I barely saw him except for a few hours in the evening. Maybe that’s why he was like this, clingy and possessive, because he didn’t like sharing our few hours with other people. Also, he hadn’t been getting a lot of sleep. Had he been eating enough? It didn’t seem like it. Angels brought him food while he was working, but he needed to do his own baking, so he could express his art. The only truly excellent part about Richard taking over as Commander was that he wasn’t at risk of decapitations. His job was to command while his forces took the risks. Three decapitations was more than enough for one person.

“You guys are way too cute. It’s disgusting,” Mirabel said, although she was also sitting on the lap of her ogre prince, and opened her mouth while he put a sushi roll in it. He flashed me a smile with those tiny tusks as if to say, ‘Didn’t we marry the best, also craziest family?’ I smiled back at him and then snuggled into my husband.

“Are you ready for the singing?” I asked her.

She hesitated, squinting at her brother, who tightened his arms around me. “I don’t know how I feel about Rook and Richard doing a duet. Music is dangerous.”

I slipped off his lap and grabbed her hand, pulling her off her husband. “I’m dying to hear it.” I’d noticed that there seemed to be awkwardness between the two, and had suggested they duet together for my birthday as an opportunity to grow the bonds of family. It could be an absolute disaster that ended with weapons drawn, but it could also become an amazing family tradition.

Richard Sr, soon to be former Commander of HOST’s, pulled a up a chair. “Good, I’m just in time.”

Mirabel straightened up before she took a seat at his right. “Are you sure you should make Ritchie the commander? He’s a lunatic.”

“I’m open to you accepting that role,” he said, giving her a beatific smile.

She shuddered and made a face of absolute horror that she quickly covered with an angelic beam. “He’s going to be absolutely wonderful. Can’t imagine a more divine candidate!”

He smiled at me and I felt warmed up from his apparent satisfaction with me. “Five years ago, he was a menace. I couldn’t have trusted him with such a great responsibility, but after two years of your influence, I felt he was ready to take on more serious duties. You’ve been the best thing that has ever happened to our family.” He glanced at Rook who looked more amused than insulted at not being included in best family events. “Barring my excellent son-in-law, naturally. Of course my son-in-law would be even more excellent if he managed to get my Miracle to settle down long enough to have a child or two.”

“Dad!” Mirabel looked outraged.

Libby who had been watching the exchange with the same amusement that the Grand Sorcerer and Gabby had, leaned forward and said, “I suppose we can announce it here as well as anywhere else. We’re having a baby.” She settled back and Michael, the Scholar, my guardian put a protective arm around her and managed to look terrified for the first time in my life.

I squealed and grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers too hard until I remembered that she was breakable. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you! Can I throw your baby shower? Did Michael tell you about my idea of the orangery? Wouldn’t that be neat? And orange is gender neutral! And we could have pastel creamsicles in little containers of ice. And Richard could bake for it. He’s so good at mini cakes. And oranges, wouldn’t that be so fun?”

My husband smiled at me, two kittens perched on his shoulders, so angelic, beautiful, mine. “So cute! I know just the pan I’ll have to get for it. I don’t have any orange shaped pans.”

Libby squeezed my hand back, almost as painfully. “Yes. Thank you. An orangery sounds perfect.”

The Commander groaned. “More pans? And you’re encouraging him. Of course you are. You know, there is such a thing as too many pans.”

I gasped in faux outrage. “Such heresy!”

Rook cleared his throat, and everyone went quiet. He adjusted his guitar while Richard plucked his, frowning at an out-of-tune string.

And then they played. It was a guitar duel, no voices, just instruments, and by the end, I had no idea who won, other than Mirabel who had the dreamiest expression on her face as she was carried away on musical bliss.

I watched Richard, fingers a blur, concentrating intently as he played against another master who pushed him to the edge of his ability and beyond. My husband. Somehow this crazy, competent, passionate creature belonged to me. Forever.

Mirabel snatched my fingers, squeezing them tight. When the song ended and the silence hung in the air, her grip became painful. “Thanks, Kat. That was the best idea anyone’s ever had.”

The Commander snorted. “Musically? For my birthday, I want you two girls to do a duet.”

“I thought you’d want us to give you grandbabies.” She wrinkled her nose at him.

He put a large hand on her head, and I could see the calm and peace he was sending into her. “I don’t think you’ll manage that in four months, but I think you could manage a few lines of poetry. Acapella?”

Mirabel frowned then glanced at me. “Have you ever considered taking up an instrument?”

“She plays my heart,” Richard said, sweeping me back onto his lap. I curled up, snuggling Tiger when he jumped from Richard’s shoulder to my chest, snuggling down over my heart.

It was so full, so happy.

I met the Scholar’s eyes, and his smile and nod of approval made it overfull. Was I going to cry? Blood tears? With this dress? Not a chance.

I grabbed a sushi roll and ate half of it before dividing it between the kitties.

“They love you,” Richard whispered in my ear.

“That’s what they’re telling you? Not that they love sushi?”

He kissed my hair. “They love you more than sushi. How could they help it? I love you so much, Katriana. I wake up in the middle of the night panicked because I’m so happy and I never deserved happiness. It’s terrible to see so much injustice in the world as such an undeserving wretch as me being so happy.”

I snorted and kissed Tiger’s cute orange striped face. “I suppose you’ll have to work hard to deserve it, then. I’m so happy. But we really do need somewhere else to put your pans. I tried to take a shower this morning and almost died from stepping into one.”

“And your dresses almost suffocated me when a dozen fell on my head when I opened my weapons closet. Not that I mind being suffocated by ball gowns, but cramming them in with weapons can’t be good for them. I think we’ll need to build a house with expandable infinite closets.”

I smiled at him and he smiled back. “I love you.”

He bumped my nose with his. “I love you. Forever. Happy Birthday, Princess.”

The End

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<3

Acknowledgments

Thanks to all the wonderful readers who kept telling me how much they needed Richard’s story. I hope you liked that crazy whirlwind!

Thanks to my editor Mr. Gray for being so meticulous about those commas.

Thanks to my illustrator, Anna for bringing these characters to life.

Thanks to my family who do writing sprints with me when I’m stuck. And thanks most of all to my God who makes all things possible!