Wilde Hearts Copyright 2026

Cover Design by: Jillian Liota, Blue Moon Creative Studio

Alternate Cover Design: Y’all That Graphic

Interior Design and Formatting by: Elaine York, Allusion Publishing

Developmental Editing: Kelli Collins

Copy Editor: Elaine York, Allusion Publishing

Proofing Editor: Joanne Thompson

Proofing Editor: Elaine York, Allusion Publishing

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used, including but not limited to, the training of or use by artificial intelligence, or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of a brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

For more information on Kelly and her book catalog, please visit her website at: www.kellyelliottauthor.com.

Dear Reader,

Before you begin this story, I need to let you know that it deals with the sensitive subject of suicide.

If you need emotional support or have a loved one you think may need it, please call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

There is also an organization to help as well called, Reasons To Stay. Please visit their website.

https://reasonstostay.org

Check out the Spotify playlist for Wilde Hearts by click here.

Ensley

Ten years ago

In my nineteen years on this Earth, I had never been to a funeral. Or a celebration of life. Grady Owens had been my best friend for as long as I could remember, and to know he’d been silently suffering about something and didn’t tell me, was enough to make me sick.

He’s gone.

Eighteen years old and so much life ahead of him, and he was gone. His brother, Colt—who was also my boyfriend of two years—was sitting next to me on the other swing. He’d hardly spoken at all the last five days. The moment he found out that Grady had taken his own life, he retreated into himself. He barely even talked to me, which hurt like hell. It felt like I had lost both Grady and Colt at the same time. The only difference was that Colt was alive, just lost within himself.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before I attempted to clear it.

“Do you want to talk at all?”

Colt turned his head to look at me. His honey-colored eyes were empty of all emotion. “About what?”

I looked down at the ground as I barely swung. “Grady.”

He sighed. Not in frustration, but in defeat. “Did he mention anything to you about being upset or depressed?”

“No,” I replied quickly. “I think that’s the worst part of all this. I don’t know why he did it.”

Colt stood and started to pace. He pushed his fingers through his brown hair, which looked like he’d done that same action a dozen times already.

My stomach churned as I asked my next question. “Did he say something to you?”

He stopped pacing. “No. Nothing. We spoke that morning, and I didn’t notice anything wrong. He told me he had plans that night with someone. I told him to have fun, then left to help a few clients. That was the last time I saw him.”

His voice cracked, and I quickly made my way over to him. I wrapped my arms around him, and he did the same. He held me tight as he whispered, “I should have known something was wrong, Ensley. I should have known!”

Tears streamed down my face as I looked up at him. “I didn’t know either, and he was my best friend. Your parents didn’t know, Colt. None of us knew.”

We stood there for a few minutes, holding each other, before Colt let go.

“I was his brother. I should have seen it. I should have felt it.”

I started to argue with him when I heard footsteps approaching. I turned to see Colt’s mother, Lynn.

“Colt, I need you to come inside, please.”

He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’ll be right there, Mom.”

A small, sad smile appeared on her face before she turned to head back to the house.

This was the most Colt had spoken to me since the day Grady died, and a part of me was upset that Lynn was taking him away. I knew they had a house filled with people, but why couldn’t Colt and I have a few minutes alone?

I turned and let my gaze run over the pasture. A few horses were out grazing. Colt’s family’s ranch wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small, either. They had over a hundred acres, most of it valley land. Perfect for grazing horses.

I took his hand in mine and squeezed it lightly. “Can we meet tomorrow for breakfast at Anna’s and then maybe take a drive up into the mountains?”

Colt glanced at me…and something passed over his face that I couldn’t read, but it caused a shiver to run down my spine. He was withdrawing back into himself, and I told myself it was because he was preparing to face all those people in the house. Friends and family who were all here to talk about and celebrate Grady, and Colt didn’t want to suffer through any of it.

“Please, Colt. I feel like you’re slipping through my fingers, and I don’t know what to do. I need you right now, as much as you need me.”

He tried to smile, but it was forced. “Sure, we can do that tomorrow.”

I smiled back at him, relief coursing through my body. I’d been missing him so much the last week, and to be able to spend some time with him, to maybe grieve together, would be good for both of us.

He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I love you, Pippa. I need you to know that. I love you so much.” Colt had started calling me Pippa not long after we began dating. It was short for Philippa, which meant lover of horses.

I reached up and held on to his arms. “I love you, too, Colt.”

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he asked, “Will you go in with me and stay by my side? I don’t think I can handle talking to all those people without you.”

My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. “Of course I will.”

We headed back into his parents’ house, and I was relieved to see that many people had left. My parents, my older brother Caden, and a few friends of Colt’s parents remained. We sat on the sofa as stories of Grady were shared quietly. I thought hearing them would be comforting; instead, they made me feel worse. I was already looking forward to spending some time alone with Colt tomorrow. It would be a balm to my broken heart.

When it was time for us to leave, Caden approached. My brother had been closer to Grady than to Colt, which was always a running joke, since Caden and Colt were actually closer in age. But Caden had grown close to Grady through his long friendship with me.

Reaching a hand out, Caden said, “I know it doesn’t help to keep hearing people say it, but I really am sorry.”

Colt nodded. “Thank you, Caden. Thanks for coming today.”

“Of course.”

My parents gave their goodbyes to Colt’s parents while Colt walked me out to the car. Caden had driven over on his own and was already gone.

I leaned against the car and looked up at him. His eyes were filled with sadness, and it killed me that I couldn’t take his pain away.

Reaching for his hands, I said, “I still don’t want to believe it’s true.”

“Well, it is true.”

His words were sharp, and I tried not to let it feel personal. He was hurting more than I could imagine. He’d lost his only brother to suicide and that wasn’t something that could be relieved with words of condolence.

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Pip.”

I placed my hands on his chest. “It’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at Anna’s and we can spend the day together, just the two of us.”

Again, something moved across his face that made me want to grab onto him and hold on for dear life.

Lifting up on tiptoes, I kissed him. “Tomorrow will do us both good. Just to be together.”

When he smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. “I love you, Ensley. Never, ever forget that. No matter what. Promise me.”

A strange sensation swept over my entire body. “You’re going to meet me tomorrow, right?”

“Of course, I am.”

I relaxed a little…but something still didn’t feel right.

“Promise me, Ensley. Promise me you’ll always know that I’ll never stop loving you.”

Swallowing hard, I replied, “I promise. I’ll always love you, too, Colt. Forever and always.”

A look of relief washed over his face. Was he worried I’d leave him? I knew he was somehow blaming himself for what happened, but surely he didn’t think I blamed him in any way?

Before I could say anything else, my mother and father walked out, said their goodbyes to Colt, and got into the car. I kissed him goodbye once more, and he drew me to him, hugging me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe.

Then, he let go of me, turned, and walked into the house.

Little did I know then that he would break my heart into a million pieces. Or maybe I did know, that somehow that little inkling of intuition was louder than I wanted to hear…and I just simply couldn’t bring myself to believe it.

Ensley

Present Day

I sat in the rocking chair of Nellie’s nursery as she drank from a bottle of breast milk that Lilibeth had given me. It was so much quieter in the nursery. Everyone was at my brother Caden’s house to celebrate his wedding to Lilibeth. They’d decided not to go on a honeymoon since Nellie, their newborn daughter, was only a couple months old. She’d been born at the end of August.

“What do you think about all of this, Nellie?”

She looked up at me with her bright blue eyes. She’d been named after my great-grandmother, Nellie Wilde. It was a beautiful name; one I’d hoped to use if I had a little girl. Of course, Caden had beaten me to the punch. To be fair, I never told anyone I wanted to use that name, so I wasn’t mad about it. Sad, but not angry.

I stared down at Nellie and fought back tears. My tiny niece was a reminder of how far I was from my dreams of a family of my own. When my younger sister Emeline married last winter, I was so happy for her…yet also jealous. Then she and Caden had both announced they were having babies in August, and it threw me into a serious depression that I’d been trying to fight off ever since. I hadn’t felt this sad in a very long time.

Not since the day Colt left me. Left everyone after Grady’s death.

Rocking Nellie, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d already missed my chance for my own happily ever after. Yes, I was only thirty and still had time, but would I ever meet someone I wanted to settle down with? Or had that dream vanished when Colt left?

I closed my eyes, and an image of Colt Owens popped into my mind. I quickly shook it away, but not before a tear slipped free and moved down my cheek.

Damn you, Colt. Damn you for making me cry all these years later.

Smiling at Nellie, I said, “I hope someday you meet someone like your daddy, Nellie. Someone who will love and cherish you.”

“I don’t think we have to worry about that just yet.”

I reached up and quickly wiped my tears away as Lilibeth walked over and sat down on the floor in front of me.

She reached up and placed a hand on my knee. “Are you okay, Ensley?”

Normally, I would plaster on a smile and say I was perfectly fine, but today I was far from feeling okay. So, I told her the truth.

“Not really.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I let out a long, heavy breath, wishing it would expel the sadness that felt like it was taking over my body. “I’m trying so hard not to be jealous of you and Emeline, I really am. But I’m struggling.”

Her face fell, and for a moment, I wished I hadn’t said anything. Still, in a strange way…it felt good to have admitted it.

“Oh, Ensley, I’m so sorry. You’re going to find love, I know you are!”

I let out a humorless laugh, then sniffled. “I had it once, Lilibeth. Do you remember I told you about Grady Owens?”

She nodded. “He was your best friend who…who died. Was he the love of your life?”

I sighed. “No, he wasn’t. We really were just best friends. I dated his brother, Colt, for a couple years. He was so heartbroken after Grady died, as was everyone. He withdrew into himself, and that left me feeling even lonelier. I had my family, of course, and Colt’s parents, whom I’m still very close to.” I smiled slightly. “It was Jacob, Colt’s father, who got me interested in being a farrier. I trained under him before I set off on my own.”

“Oh wow. Is he still a farrier?”

I nodded. “He is, but he’s been slowing down. Both Colt and Grady had been taught by their dad, too, and they were both going to take over the business one day. Although that wasn’t what Grady wanted. He always talked about wanting to travel the world and see things. He wanted to be a pilot. He’d taken flying lessons and loved it. I’m not sure if anyone else knew that was his ultimate goal. He might have told Colt, I’m not sure. I think he was scared to tell his father. They didn’t even know he knew how to fly a plane.”

“That’s sad he didn’t share that with anyone else.”

I nodded as my chest held that familiar ache. “Anyway, turns out neither of them stayed to help their father. The day after Grady’s celebration of life, Colt left River Falls. He was supposed to meet me the next morning, and we were going to spend the day together. He never showed up. I was so worried because he wasn’t answering his phone or replying to text messages. I don’t even have to tell you where my mind went. I panicked, went to his parents’ house to look for him, and found Lynn crying on the front porch. I nearly fell to my knees as one terrible thought after another ran through my mind.”

Lilibeth put a hand to her mouth.

“He’d packed up his things and left in the middle of the night. Left a note for his mother and father, telling them he couldn’t be in River Falls another minute. The guilt over his brother’s death was too much to bear. So he left.”

“He didn’t even tell you? Say goodbye?”

I shook my head. “I think I knew it was coming, though. The way he’d hugged me and told me he loved me the day before had been…off. I think even then, I knew he wasn’t going to meet me the next morning. But for him to leave without so much as a goodbye, I can’t even begin to tell you how hurt I was.”

“Did he leave you a note?”

Nodding, I softly said, “He did. It said that he was sorry, and for me to never forget the promise I made to him.”

“Promise?”

“That I would remember he’d never stop loving me.”

Lilibeth wore a pained expression. “Have you heard from him at all?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. He often writes to and calls his parents. I asked about him constantly in the early days, and Lynn would tell me what he was doing and where he was. For a few years, he traveled around the world, and I think he did so because that was what Grady hoped to do. It was so painful to hear from Lynn that he was in Italy or Scotland. So…I stopped asking, and they stopped talking about him in front of me. It kind of became this unspoken rule between the three of us. I never mention him anymore, and neither do they.”

“He’s never been back to River Falls?”

“Nope. Not that I know of, at any rate. I try to visit Lynn and Jacob every couple of weeks. I adore them, and they’re like second parents to me, but they know their son hurt me deeply. I don’t know where he is now. or if he’s married or even has kids. And I actually don’t want to know.”

Lilibeth wore that look of pity on her face that I couldn’t stand. The same look everyone else gave me for the longest time after Colt left.

“I hate that he did that to you.”

I laughed softly. “So do I. And I hate him with every ounce of my being. I’d lost my very best friend only days before I lost the love of my life.”

Lilibeth ran her hand softly down Nellie’s back. She looked up at me and asked, “Is that why you haven’t dated seriously?”

“No,” I replied, blinking back more tears. “Maybe. Hell, let me be honest with you and myself. Yes—Colt is the reason I haven’t dated anyone seriously. Because I haven’t met anyone I don’t constantly compare to him. I thought maybe I’d met someone a couple of years ago who could finally make me forget about Colt. He’s a firefighter here in River Falls. We dated for a few months, and he wanted more…but I got spooked. I know I gave Caden hell for not moving on from Rachel, when here I am stuck in the past myself. I can’t seem to let him go. Or my heart can’t, at any rate.”

“This firefighter…could you not see yourself with him?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I could. That was what scared me. It was the first time since Colt left that I could see a possible future with another man. I don’t know how to explain it, but it felt like I was cheating on him. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking, what if he comes home and I’m dating someone?” A humorless laugh slipped free before I said, “It’s so stupid, and I know this doesn’t sound like me at all. I wish my heart could forget him, Lilibeth. I really do. He couldn’t possibly have loved me as much as I loved him. If he did, how could he have left me like that? All I have left besides a broken heart is just a stupid note telling me not to forget.”

Lilibeth stood, took Nellie, who was asleep, and set her in her crib. Then she sat back down on the floor.

“Just because someone leaves doesn’t mean you stop loving them.”

Wiping away a tear, I nodded. “For the first few years, I waited for Colt to come back home. I told myself he was hurt and grieving, and it had nothing to do with me. I would have taken him back without a second thought. Then the anger came, and I swore if I ever saw him again, I’d kill him. Then, finally, reality hit. Colt wasn’t coming back. That had to mean he never really loved me. So I tried to move on with Doug, and that didn’t work so great.”

“Is Doug dating anyone now?”

The thought of Doug dating someone else didn’t bother me in the least. “I think so. At least he was a few months back when I ran into him at the Honky Tonk. He was with someone he’d met in Estes Park. I think she lives there. He told me that he was thinking of moving.”

“Then he wasn’t the one,” Lilibeth said. “Don’t give up hope, Ensley. You’re so young and so beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have your heart.”

I took her outstretched hands in mine. “I’m sorry I unleashed all of that on you, especially on your wedding day. Sitting here in the silence with Nellie made me realize how far away I am from the life I want. I see my friends moving on with their lives, and I feel like I’m stuck. I can’t go back, and I can’t go forward. At least not with a partner. So, I guess I need to move on alone.”

“You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I’m always here for you, Ensley.”

We both stood. “We should probably get back out there.”

Lilibeth grabbed the baby monitor, and we headed out of the nursery. She softly shut the door and laced her arm with mine. “You know what I think we need?”

“What?”

“A night out. I’ll be the designated driver, and I promise not to drink.”

The last time we had a girls’ night out, I was supposed to be the designated driver, and my brother Caden had to take us home because I drank too much.

“Hey, I really didn’t think I’d had too much that night!”

She rolled her eyes.

“A night out does sound nice, though. Do you think you and Emeline would be able to get out?”

“I know I can, and I’m sure Emeline could, too. Actually, I bet we can get our parents to watch the little ones and we can all go out—the guys, as well.”

“Go out where?” my brother Caden asked as he joined us, then kissed Lilibeth on the cheek.

Lilibeth beamed up at her new husband, and I waited for her to melt into a puddle at his feet. When they’d first met, they couldn’t stand each other…or so they’d pretended, anyway. But there was no way either could resist the other. Lilibeth was smart and funny, her hazel eyes always shining. Her long blonde hair was braided today, and hanging over her shoulder, with her signature flowers woven into the strands.

My older brother, meanwhile, was the spitting image of our handsome father. His dark hair and blue eyes had always been the talk of the town. Growing up, all of my friends had crushes on Caden. He and Lilibeth were the perfect pair. And so crazy in love.

“Ensley needs a night out. Do you think your parents could watch Nellie? I can ask Emeline if Levi’s parents will watch Jackson.”

“I bet they would. When?”

“Next Saturday? That way, we have the week to arrange it with the parents.”

I frowned. “It takes a week to plan a night out once you have a kid?”

Lilibeth sighed. “For a new mom with a two-month-old, it does!”

The three of us laughed as we made our way toward the kitchen.

The house was filled with laughter and chatter, and the kitchen held most of the chaos. Emeline stood by the island holding her son, Jackson, rocking back and forth on her feet as Levi gazed at them lovingly. The way my sister looked at her son, then up at her husband, sent a jolt of jealousy through me—and I abruptly stopped walking.

The room suddenly felt as if all the air were being sucked out. My chest started to tighten, and I felt as if my legs were about to give out on me.

My mother suddenly appeared before me, blocking my view of Emeline.

“Ensley?” she asked, as she studied me with a worried expression.

“I need to leave.”

“Are you okay?”

I shook my head. I wasn’t sure where this was coming from. My chest felt like a heavy weight had been placed on it.

“I can’t breathe.”

She quickly took my elbow and led me through the kitchen and out the back door. Once we got outside, I attempted to draw in a deep breath—and couldn’t.

That was when the panic really kicked in.

“I can’t breathe!”

Suddenly, my mom cupped my face and tried to look into my eyes. “Ensley, look at me.”

My eyes focused on hers.

“You’re talking, that means you can breathe.”

I shook my head frantically. The panic overwhelming.

“Inhale for four seconds. One, two, three, four. Hold it. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Now exhale for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.”

We repeated the breathing exercises, and the pressure on my chest very slowly lifted.

“This is temporary, sweetheart, that’s it, keep breathing.”

I closed my eyes and tried to listen to the sounds around me. The wind blowing through the trees, the birds singing, and the river running in the distance. When the vise around my chest was finally gone, I opened my eyes and gaped at my mother.

“What the fuck was that?”

She barked out a laugh, then tried to get serious. “Ensley! Do you have to use such language?”

“Oh, please, Mom. How many times have I heard you drop the f-bomb? This is not the time to clutch your imaginary pearls!”

Once again, she laughed. “You had a panic attack.”

I took a step back. “A what?”

“A panic attack. It’s when—”

Holding up my hands to stop her, I said, “I know what a panic attack is. And I’ve never in my life had one. I have nothing to panic over!”

She gave me a look. “Apparently, you do.”

I shook my head and eyed the rocking chairs Caden had on his back porch, thinking I might need to sit. But it was a warm October day, and I needed to feel the sun on my face, so I walked down into the yard instead. Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes and tried to find comfort in the warmth on my skin.

“You know I’m here if you ever feel like you’d like to talk.”

Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled at my mother. She’d always been there for us kids, and she was my rock in the months after Colt left. I couldn’t even count how many times I’d crawled into her bed and cried while she held me those first few weeks. I never really thought about what she might have given up to spend all that time with me. She never complained, never said she couldn’t…she was simply there for me.

Sighing oh so dramatically, I looked out over the pasture behind Caden’s house.

“I had a dream last night that I was decorating a nursery…and I woke up feeling so broken.”

My mother walked over, hugged me from behind, and set her chin on my shoulder. “You know you’re only thirty, sweetheart.”

“I know, but sometimes I think I’m never going to fall in love again, Mom. I’m at the point where I’m thinking of having a baby on my own.”

She moved to stand in front of me and raised her brows. “On your own?”

“Why not? Are you saying being a single mother would be a bad thing?”

“I’m not saying that at all. I think you’d be a wonderful mother, with or without a partner. What are you thinking? Adoption, IVF?”

I shrugged. “I think IVF. There are plenty of men who donate their sperm these days.”

“So, this is something you’ve looked into, then?”

I nodded. “I have. It’s an option, and one I’m leaning toward more and more. I want a baby, Mom. I see Emeline and Lilibeth with their children, and I long for that. It feels like something is missing in my life. I used to think it was Colt…and maybe it still is, to a degree…but even more, it’s the dream of my own family.”

Her blue eyes were filled with love. “You know your father and I will be right there to support you in whatever you want to do. But Ensley, I want you to really think about this. Not just from a financial perspective, but from an emotional one, as well. You only just turned thirty, your biological clock isn’t about to reach its end.”

“You were twenty-three when you had Caden. Twenty-six when you had me. By the time you turned thirty, you’d had Gatlin and Emeline, as well. Four kids.”

She took my hands in hers. “Ensley, you cannot compare your life to mine. My timeline was different. I got married young, and yes, we started having kids early. That doesn’t mean you have to align your life to what I did in mine.”

“I’m not. But look at Emeline. She just turned twenty-six, and she has four kids. I know three aren’t biologically hers, but she has the family I’ve always wanted. And now Caden has a child. I feel like I’m sitting back on the sidelines, wondering when I’m going to get my chance to get in the game.”

“What happened with that nice boy you dated…Doug was his name?”

I laughed. “Mom, he wasn’t a boy. I really did like him, but…” My voice trailed off.

“He wasn’t Colt.”

Blinking back sudden tears, I shrugged. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mom. I gave Caden hell about not getting over Rachel, yet I’m doing the same thing. I think my problem is that I have this stupid hope that someday he’ll come back. That stupid promise is what gives me hope. Or used to give me hope. Then I hate myself when I think that I’ve actually waited for a man this long. He’s never even once tried to reach out to me.”

“Have you tried to reach out to him?”

I glanced at the ground. “No.”

“Do you want to know what I think you should do?”

I nodded. “Tell me what I should do.”

“Call Doug.”

Staring at her, I let out a disbelieving laugh. “What?”

“Call him. Right now.”

“Mom, I think he’s dating someone. He was talking about moving to Estes Park for her.”

“You don’t see him in town anymore?”

I had to stop and think about it. “No, not in the last couple of months.”

“I still think you should call him.”

For a hot second, I almost pulled out my phone. Then, with a quick shake of my head, I said, “No. If it was meant to be, we’d be together.”

One brow rose slowly. “I think you’re afraid to find out if he’s still in town, and still very much single.”

Narrowing my eyes, I studied her. “Wait a minute. Wait a damn minute, Vivianne Wilde. What do you know?”

She had the audacity to feign innocence. “I don’t know what you mean?”

“Bullshit. What do you know about Doug?”

A slow smile spread across her beautiful face. “I know he’s single, and I know he’s still living in River Falls.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “How do you know that?”

She shrugged. “A mother knows these things. I should get back in there before someone comes looking for us.”

She started back toward the house, then turned and walked backward. “By the way, he works a twenty-four-hour shift starting tomorrow morning. Just in case you happen to be near the fire station.”

My mouth fell open in shock. Once she’d walked through the door, I shook my head and laughed.

Ensley

“This is ridiculous,” I mumbled to myself, as I turned and walked away from the fire station. “What are you doing, Ensley Wilde?”

My conversation with my mother yesterday left me thinking nearly all night. So much so, I barely got three hours of sleep. And now here I was, aborting the plan to casually walk by the fire station like a pathetic fool. Dark circles under my eyes and sleep deprived. Quite the catch, if I do say so myself. That was why I was here. I was tired and obviously delirious.

I stopped abruptly, turning to head back toward the station—then stopped myself once again.

“No. No, I’m not doing this.”

Spinning around yet again, I marched away. I’d go to Anna’s Table, get some breakfast, then get my day going. I wasn’t going to think about Doug Sanders another second.

I turned the corner onto Main and immediately crashed into a solid body.

I let out a small yelp as strong hands clasped my arms to steady me.

“Ensley?”

I instantly knew that voice. I looked up into the dark brown eyes of Doug.

Lord, he was a good-looking guy. The memories of the nights we’d spent together, wrapped up in his bed, came back. He was a decent lover, a bit…boring at times. But he always made sure I was pleasured first. He was nothing like Colt, though.

My body had come to life with my first lover.

Stop this, Ensley Wilde. Just. Stop.

I squeezed my eyes shut and erased those memories. When I opened them, I forced a smile. “Doug.”

My voice sounded strained.

“Where are you rushing off to?” he asked with a wide grin.

“Um…Anna’s for breakfast.”

He glanced behind me. “Where were you coming from?”

Panic set in as I tried to think of an excuse as to why I was coming from the direction of the fire station.

“Why all the questions?” I asked with a laugh.

He smiled. “Sorry. I’m really glad to run into you. Literally.”

I cleared my throat and said, “It’s been a while.”

“I thought you might have been avoiding me.”

My brows drew together. “Why would I do that?”

Doug shrugged and changed the subject. “Would you like to join me for breakfast?”

“From the direction you were heading, I’d have thought you’d already finished breakfast.”

He shook his head. “I forgot my wallet.”

“You’re not with the other guys?”

“Nope. I got off shift this morning.”

“This morning,” I echoed. I couldn’t wait to tell my mother her intelligence was wrong. Of course, then she would know I’d made use of the information she’d given me, so I most certainly couldn’t do that.

He nodded. “So…breakfast?” he asked, as he motioned with his hand. “It’ll just take me a minute to run back and grab my wallet from my locker.”

“How about I pay for breakfast, and you can buy next time?”

His brow rose and a small smirk played across his face. “Will there be a next time?”

My heart started to pound in my chest, but not in the way a girl would hope. It was more of a panicked reaction than a sexual one. “I don’t know. I guess that depends on whether you’re still dating the woman from Estes Park.”

His smirk grew into a full-blown grin. He was even more handsome when he smiled. “I’m not dating her any longer. I love River Falls too much to leave, and she loved Estes Park too much to leave there, so we decided friendship was the way to go.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Doug.”

Winking, he replied, “Don’t be sorry.”

I tilted my head and regarded him. It would be so easy to suggest we go to his place, instead. To lose myself in him and forget all the shit going on in my head. But that wasn’t how I wanted to start things over again with Doug. And I did want to start something with him again.

Didn’t I?

“Shall we head to Anna’s, then?” I asked, with a smile I hoped didn’t look forced.

“After you.”

Breakfast was nice. Doug and I got caught up on what had been happening in each other’s worlds. I told him about Emeline and Levi getting married, and how they’d gone to Lake Tahoe with Levi’s son, Rhett, to make it official. Plus, more recently, adopting Katie and Jimmy.

“Wow, talk about an instant family,” Doug said with wide eyes.

I chuckled. “Yeah. A family of four kids, plus all the horses and her chocolate lab, Moose.”

“And I heard Caden got married to Lilibeth Asher. She owns Wonderland Whimsy or something like that?”

I chuckled. “You got it right. And yes, they got married, and they have a two-month-old baby, as well.”

His brows rose. “I guess I’m not up on all the local gossip. So what about you?”

“What about me?” I asked, pushing my plate away and sitting back in the booth.

“Dating anyone?”

I laughed. “No.”

He narrowed one eye as he asked, “Sleeping with anyone?”

“I wish.”

Doug tossed his head back and laughed. “I’ve missed you, Ensley.”

Leaning forward, I asked, “Are you volunteering?”

“To sleep with you?” he asked.

“I was thinking more along the lines of fucking rather than sleeping.”

His eyes turned dark. “Is that all you’re looking for?”

I sat back again. I needed to be honest with him. “For now.”

We stared at one another for what felt like an eternity.

“You know I care about you, Ensley. You also know that if you told me you wanted more, I’d be on the same page as you.”

I swallowed the instant lump in my throat. My head was screaming at me to tell him I wanted the same. Wanted more. That I wanted to settle down and start a relationship.

My damn heart, on the other hand, was on the floor, throwing a fit.

“I know.”

He exhaled and shook his head. “I should tell you no. You broke my heart once, Ensley Wilde, and I’m not sure I’m willing to go down that road again.”

I nodded. “That’s fair. I want to give you more, Doug, as I said before. I’m trying to move on from a past that I can’t seem to shake.”

“I think you mean from a love you haven’t gotten over.”

This time, it felt like I’d swallowed a brick. “That, too.”

The waitress brought the check, and I left her cash. We slipped out of the booth and started to walk back toward the fire station. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, and once we were in front of the firehouse, I expected him to thank me for breakfast and send me on my way. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did just that.

Instead, he smiled down at me. “I’ll meet you at my place in ten minutes.”

Grinning, I said, “See you then.”

As I turned and headed back toward Main Street and my car, I told myself the past was the past. It was time to move forward, and Doug was the perfect man to move forward with.

I slipped into the driver’s seat of my truck as my phone rang. I smiled, thinking it might be Doug. I frowned when I saw it was Lynn Owens calling. Lynn was the wife of Jacob, the same man who’d taught me everything I knew about being a farrier. Lynn was also the mother of Colt.

“Hi, Lynn. How’s it going?”

The first thing I heard was sniffles.

“Lynn? Are you okay?”

“Ensley…I’m so sorry to call you like this.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked, turning on my truck and already altering my plans—getting ready to drive straight over to Lynn and Jacob’s house.

“It’s Jacob. He’s had a heart attack! We’re at the Granby hospital.”

My stomach instantly felt sick. “I’m on my way.”

She started to cry, and I couldn’t understand anything she was saying, just bits and pieces.

“Lynn, don’t worry. He’s going to be okay. I’m leaving downtown River Falls now.”

“Be careful, Ensley, sweetheart.”

“I will. See you soon.”

After hanging up with Lynn, I pulled up Doug’s number and tapped to call him.

“You can’t possibly be there already,” he laughed.

“Doug, I hate to do this to you, but Lynn Owens just called me. Jacob’s had a heart attack.”

“Oh shit.”

“I’m sorry to back out on our plans.”

“It’s okay, Ensley. Do you want me to drive you? I’m assuming they went to Granby Memorial Hospital.”

“They did, and no, thank you. I’ll let you know what’s going on as soon as I learn more. Again, I’m so sorry.”

“No worries, Ensley. Be safe driving there, and we’ll talk soon.”

“Thank you, Doug. Talk soon.”

Hitting End, I set my phone in my purse and pulled out onto Main Street. I couldn’t help but wonder if the universe was trying to tell me something.

Something like, maybe Doug wasn’t part of the plan.

At least not part of my plan.

I tapped lightly before opening the door to the hospital room. Lynn was sitting in the chair she’d pulled up as close as she could to Jacob’s bed. Her head was lying on the mattress and, for a moment, I thought about slowly backing out. When I got here yesterday, she’d been beside herself. Afraid she was going to lose her husband. I couldn’t blame her one bit.

I slowly took one step back, but she lifted her head and smiled.

“Ensley, sweetheart.”

I held up a to-go cup. “I brought you some coffee.”

“I hope you brought some for me, as well,” Jacob said in a raspy voice.

“You’re up!” I said, as I walked into the room. I handed Lynn her coffee before bending over and kissing Jacob on the cheek. “How are you feeling?”

He sighed. “Tired.”

I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. “You should go back to sleep then.”

Jacob rolled his eyes, then smiled at me. “Lynn said you got hotel rooms for both of you here in town. Ensley, you need to be working, not here.”

“You don’t worry about me, sir. I’ve got everything taken care of, and I’m not leaving.” Glancing at his wife, I said, “You need to go get some sleep, Lynn.”

“She’s right, sweetheart. You’ve been here since yesterday. I know you’re exhausted.”

Lynn worried her lower lip as she looked from Jacob to me.

“I won’t be going anywhere,” I promised her, “and the hotel’s just five minutes up the road.”

“Please, go for me, Lynn. I’ll rest easier knowing you’re getting rest, as well.”

That seemed to do it for Lynn. She kissed Jacob goodbye, then hugged me.

“You’ll call me if anything happens?”

I guided her out of the room and walked with her toward the elevators. “Nothing is going to happen, but yes, I’ll call you. Go take a hot shower and get some sleep. Eat something, too. My card’s on the rooms, so order room service.”

“Ensley Wilde, you don’t need to do that.”

Placing my hand on her arm, I said, “I want to do it. Now go.”

Once Lynn was safely in the elevator, I headed back to Jacob’s room. He was still awake when I walked in.

“What about your clients? My clients?”

“I’ve taken care of both. I need you to stop worrying, okay?” I sat down and took his hand in mine.

Jacob caught my gaze. “I want you to know, Ensley, that I’ve always loved you like a daughter.”

Tears stung the back of my eyes. “I know. And I’ve always loved you like a second father.”

He paused at that admission, even though I know he knew it and I swear I saw tears form in his eyes, as well. But he quickly changed the subject. “How are you doing, Ensley?”

“Me? I’m doing great. Lots of things are happening with the Wilde family lately.”

“I’ve heard. What about you? Are you dating anyone?”

I felt my cheeks heat. It was strange talking to Jacob about this particular subject. “Not seriously.”

He nodded.

I really didn’t want to ask the next question…but I needed to. I was positive Lynn would have let her son know his father was in the hospital. “Um, Jacob, has Colt been told about your heart attack?”

His eyes were closed. “I believe Lynn called to let him know.”

I leaned forward, hoping he’d give me more information. Like, was he coming home, at least? And if so, when? I wanted to know when to be gone. The last thing I wanted was to run into Colt. Or was it…

I was about to ask when a soft snore came from Jacob.

Smiling, I reached into my bag and pulled out a book. I walked over to the small love seat against the wall, curled up, and started reading. It didn’t take long before my own eyelids grew heavy. I leaned my head against the back of the sofa and closed my eyes.

“Just five minutes,” I whispered, before I dozed off to sleep.

I jolted awake several hours later, when I heard the door to the room open. A nurse walked in and smiled at me as she went over to check on Jacob. He was still asleep.

Standing, I stretched my arms over my head and covered a yawn with my hand.

Turning to look at me, the nurse quietly asked, “Do you need anything?”

I smiled. “No, thank you.”

Once she was finished, she quietly left the room. I picked up my phone to see Lynn hadn’t called or texted, which hopefully meant she was resting. I walked over and looked down at Jacob. He looked so peaceful. It was hard for me to believe that a man who was in such great physical condition could have a heart attack. Yes, he was sixty-five, but the way he moved about, you’d have thought he was thirty-five.

Turning, I walked over to the windows and looked out. It had snowed last night up in the mountains, and the tops were dusted in a beautiful white, leading down to the fall colors of yellow and orange. October in Colorado was one of my favorite times of the year. The sky was a stunning deep blue, making the snow look even brighter. Soon, winter would set in and tourists would start flooding the streets of Granby. In the summer, they came for the lake and the hiking in the mountains. Winter, it was all about skiing.

River Falls would get some of the tourists, as well, but mostly on weekends, and they were there for shopping. It would be good for Lilibeth’s store.

I pulled out my phone and sent my mother a quick update on how Jacob was doing. I also texted Lilibeth to let her know this weekend was out for me, as I wanted to stay with Lynn and Jacob until he was out of the hospital. I had a feeling she’d be glad, and so would my sister. As much as they talked about wanting a night out, I’m pretty sure they’d both rather be tucked inside with their little ones.

Lilibeth had texted me back that it was fine. She asked about Jacob, and included a selfie of her and Nellie. Two different emotions hit me at the same time. Love and jealousy.

I hated that a simple photo could evoke those emotions in me. I closed my eyes and drew in a long breath before slowly letting it out. The two feelings were a heavy combination. On one hand, I was so happy for my brother and sister. I loved my new little niece and nephew, and I looked forward to seeing them both again. Yet…this deep ache inside of me nearly left me breathless at times. Hell, had even given me a panic attack. I longed to be a mother, but I also wanted someone to look at me with the same love in their eyes that my brother had when he looked at Lilibeth. Or how Levi stared at my sister when he didn’t think anyone was watching.

Then you have my mother and father…the greatest love I’d ever witnessed.

I stared out the window.

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I move on from my past like I lectured Caden to do? Why does my heart still ache for a man I know I can never have?

My phone buzzed, and I expected it to be my mother. Instead, it was Doug. I hit the message.

Doug: I’m just checking in. How’s Jacob doing?

I smiled.

Me: He’s doing good. Lynn finally went to the hotel to get some sleep. I’m at the hospital with him now.

I watched as the three dots bounced.

Doug: I’m off for the next few days. I can drive to Granby and maybe take you to get a decent meal. I’m sure you’ve been eating hospital or fast food.

My heart hammered in my chest, and it wasn’t because I was excited that Doug was willing to drive to Granby just to see me and make sure I’d eaten. Still, on the heels of that picture from Lilibeth, I was tempted to reply with a yes. Maybe he could even stay the night with me at the hotel, and I could lose myself in him for a short while.

I started to type back…and when I saw that my hands were shaking, I replied:

Me: You’re so sweet. Once I know Jacob is out of the woods, I’ll be coming back to River Falls. Rain check?

Doug: Absolutely. If you need anything, Ensley, you’ll let me know?

Me: Yes, I will for sure. Thank you, Doug. Talk soon.

Pushing my phone into my back pocket, I heard the door open again. I turned, expecting to see the same nurse, or maybe the doctor.

Instead, it felt like I’d taken a punch to the stomach as all of my breath was ripped from my lungs.

The room nearly spun as I stared into golden-honey eyes that I hadn’t seen in years.

Those same eyes that never looked back when he left me.

Colt

The last person I expected to see when I walked into my father’s hospital room was Ensley Wilde. The instant those sky-blue eyes met my gaze, the air was yanked from my body.

She was clearly shocked, as well. She took a step back before glancing around the room, almost as if in a panic, before her gaze met mine again.

It took everything I had in me not to rush forward and pull her into my arms. I’d never gotten over her, and to this day, I loved her with my every breath. But if things were that simple, we wouldn’t be here right now.

Now her look of shock was slowly turning into pure anger. That I could understand. She had every right to be angry with me.

Pulling my eyes off her, I turned to see my father in the hospital bed, sleeping. My heart instantly ached when I realized how much he’d aged since I left as I slowly made my way toward him. Reaching for his hand, I leaned over him and kissed him on the forehead.

His eyes opened, and a wide smile grew across his face. “Colt?! Is that you?”

“Yeah, Dad, it’s me. I came as fast as I could when Mom called. How are you?”

“I’ve been better, but from what they tell me, I’ll be okay.”

Closing my eyes, I sent up a quick prayer of thanks. I glanced over at Ensley, who was still standing in the same spot. A mixture of emotions played over her beautiful face. She hadn’t changed…but she had. She was an older, more stunning version of the nineteen-year-old girl I’d left behind ten years ago.

“Is my mother here?” I asked her.

For a moment, I didn’t think she was going to answer me.

Then she cleared her throat. “I had her go back to the hotel to get some sleep. She hadn’t left your dad’s side since they got here yesterday.”

I smiled at her, grateful she was taking care of Mom. “I’m glad she’s getting some rest.”

Ensley moved her gaze to my father. “Jacob, do you need anything?”

“Some cold water would be nice, sweetheart.”

She practically ran from the room as she said, “I’ll go get that for you.”

I watched her over my shoulder until I heard the soft click of the door closing, then focused back on my father.

“I’m sure that was a surprise for both of you,” he said with a soft smile.

“How long has she been here?” I asked.

My father tried to sit up some, and I helped by adjusting his pillows so he could sit comfortably.

“She’s been here the whole time. Got rooms for your mother and herself at the Granby Resort Hotel.” When I didn’t say anything, he asked, “Does it bother you that she’s here?”

“No, of course not. I was simply surprised, that’s all.”

He squeezed my hand. “You can’t avoid her for the rest of your life, Colt.”

I decided to ignore that statement. “How are you really doing?”

Smiling, he said, “I’m doing good, son. The doctor said it was a mild heart attack, but that some changes will have to be made. Diet, medication, things like that. He also suggested now would be a good time to retire.”

I closed my eyes as guilt assaulted me. “I’m so sorry, Dad. I’m sorry this happened.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Colt.”

“I should have been here. I should have been the one working and taking care of the business, not you. I was selfish in my reasons for staying away.”

He slowly shook his head. “Your reasons were your own, Colt. Your mother and I have long since forgiven you for leaving like you did.” His eyes darted to the door, then back to me. He looked like he was going to say something else, but he pressed his lips tightly together. Still, his meaning was clear.

They might have forgiven me, but Ensley hadn’t.

“All that matters is you’re here now. How long will you stay?”

“I’m not leaving again, Dad. I’m here to stay.”

A brilliant smile lit up his face, and I swore it brought some pink to his cheeks.

The door opened, and Ensley walked in with a pitcher of ice water. She walked to the other side of the bed, poured a glass, then put a straw in it before handing it to my father.

“Here you go,” she said, with a sweet smile for my father. “I also let the nurse know that you were awake, since you missed lunch.”

“What I could really go for is a chocolate shake.”

I smiled as Ensley laughed softly.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said. Then she cleared her throat, reached for her bag, and put it over her shoulder. “I’ll leave the two of you to visit.”

“Thanks, Ensley,” I said, as I smiled at her. She didn’t return the gesture. Her eyes looked cold and distant. She didn’t say another word as she quickly walked out of the room.

I looked down before catching my father’s gaze.

“I fear she isn’t going to forgive you so easily, son. Can’t blame her.”

All I could do was nod. I hadn’t been planning on running into Ensley this soon, and I certainly wasn’t prepared for the rush of feelings that came back to me at the sight of her. Hell, they’d never left. I’d simply buried them deep inside of me, along with all the rest of my guilt.

“So, you said it was a mild heart attack. How long will you have to be in the hospital?”

After taking a drink of the water, he said, “I had a procedure called an angiogram to treat the blocked arteries yesterday afternoon. So as long as everything goes well, and I rest like I’m supposed to, they’ll let me go home in a few days. They said I’ll be pretty fatigued at first, so rest is the number one thing, then I’ll begin the recovery process. Slowly work myself back to regular routines and such.”

“How many clients do you still have?” I asked.

“Around twenty. I’ve given Ensley a lot of my clients, but the ones who aren’t interested in a woman doing the job still call me.”

I rolled my eyes. “I would have thought they’d have gotten over that.”

My father chuckled. “Some men just can’t see a woman farrier. She’s done well for herself, though, and has often helped out over the years…when I’ve been sick, or when your mother and I go out of town. When we went to visit you last summer, she took on my clients.”

“Did she know you were coming to see me?” I asked. I wasn’t sure why I’d even asked.

“No. Ensley put her foot down about a year after you left. She didn’t ask about you, and she requested that we not talk about you in front of her.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry I put you and Mom through that.”

“And Ensley.”

Another wave of guilt hit me. “Yes. And Ensley.”

The door opened to the room, and I heard a gasp. Turning, I saw my mother. I got up from the chair next to my father’s bed and hugged her.

“Colt! You got here so quickly!”

“Perks of having a boss who’s also a pilot. Sorry I couldn’t be here last night.”

My mother gave me a once-over. “You look like you’re taking care of yourself, sweetheart. Eating good?”

I chuckled. “Yes, Mom, I’m eating fine.”

Her hands moved over my arms. “Got some muscles, so that means you’ve been doing manual labor? I thought you were the boss now.”

After spending five years traveling around the world, I settled on a ranch outside of Banff, Canada, where I started as the farrier, worked my way up the ranks, and was now in charge of all the ranch hands in my position as foreman. I loved it. But in the back of my mind, I always knew I’d eventually come back home.

“The ranch I was working on kept me busy. Men respect you more when you’re out there doing the work alongside them.”

My father smiled. “I taught you well.”

Mom got me up to speed with my father’s treatment and when he would most likely be discharged. She still looked worried, and I wanted to ease that worry a bit. When my father fell asleep again, we headed to the hospital café and grabbed a quick bite.

“Mom, I don’t want you to worry about anything. I’m moving home so Dad can fully retire. This is probably all my fault for staying away as long as I did.”

She reached for my hand. “It is not your fault. I don’t even want to hear you say that again. And if you’re staying because you feel guilty, I don’t want that, either.”

“I’m not. I’m staying because this is where I belong, and I’ve been hiding for far too long. I got comfortable at the Lazy T Ranch, and it was easier to just stay there than come back home and face…all the memories and the heartache I tried to leave behind.”

“Colt, I need to let you know that Ensley is here, in Granby.”

“I know. She was in the room when I got there. Dad was asleep.”

Her eyes went wide. “I meant to tell her that you’d be coming but I guess I was so focused on your father that it slipped my mind. I didn’t realize you’d get here today.” She worried her lip before saying, “I should have warned her.”

“Warned her? I’d think she would know I’d be here for my father.”

One brow raised. “Would she, Colt?”

Ouch. Okay, I deserved that jab.

I cleared my throat. “I’d hope she would know me better than that.”

Mom leaned back in her chair. “I’m sorry, Colt…but I don’t believe she would. You left her when she needed you the most. And when you needed her the most.”

My mother and father had lectured me the first year or so about how badly I’d hurt Ensley. They’d eventually stopped and never brought her up again. I hadn’t been sure how involved Ensley might be with my family after all these years. But I should have realized she’d still be a significant part of their lives. She was Grady’s best friend from childhood, we dated for two years, and my father trained Ensley in her profession.

“I wanted to reach out to her, Mom. But a month turned into six months, then a year, then five…and after that, I just figured she’d be better off without me in her life. I’m sure she’s moved on and gotten married by now.”

I wasn’t sure if I was asking a question or making a statement.

She slowly shook her head. “You have no idea how much that girl loved you, do you? You weren’t the only one who was shaken to the core by Grady’s death. She lost both of you, Colt.”

I closed my eyes. “I wasn’t myself, Mom. I couldn’t stay in River Falls…not when I blamed myself for Grady’s death.”

“And Ensley blamed herself for his death. But none of us knew how unhappy he was, Colt. Not a single one.” Letting out a long sigh, she looked down at her hands. “After about a year or so, she stopped asking about you, where you were. Just like you stopped asking not long after that. So…I’m going to take this moment to let you know how the last ten years have been for Ensley. That girl loved you with her whole heart, Colt. She lost her best friend and the love of her life all within a few short days. You already know I wasn’t happy with you for what you did to Ensley, and I’m still not.”

I didn’t say anything. I simply let my mother speak her peace. It was the least I could do. That she hadn’t done so yet, after a decade, was a miracle.

“I watched the light slowly go out of those baby blues, and it about killed me. She was so lost without you, though she would never admit it in a hundred years.”

“Has she…um, moved on?”

Her gaze lifted to mine. “From you? No, I don’t think she has. She’s never been in a serious relationship, at least not that she’s shared with me.”

I wasn’t sure whether I was happy to hear that or not.

“Have you moved on from her?” my mother asked.

For a few seconds, I simply stared at her, not sure whether I wanted to admit the truth or not. Instead, I shrugged. “I’ve dated. Nothing serious, more casual than anything.”

She shook her head again. “I will admit that I still don’t understand why you left, Colt. I know it has something to do with your brother and Ensley. That much I could figure out.”

I turned away. “I don’t want to talk about it, Mom.”

“No, of course you don’t.”

Snapping my head back toward her at her tone, I frowned.

“You are my son, Colt. And I love you. I will always love you. But you’ve been running from real life for the last ten damn years. While you’ve been gone, the rest of us have had to move on. We couldn’t run and hide. I guess I can at least be glad you didn’t cut your father and me out of your life.”

“I would never do that,” I said quickly.

She let out a long breath. “I’m glad you’re here. I hate that it took your father having a heart attack to bring you home…but I’m very happy you’re here.”

Guilt hit me so hard that I found it hard to breathe.

“I never meant to cause you, Dad, or Ensley pain.”

Her eyes met mine. I knew she wanted to say more. Call my bullshit, because I knew damn well leaving and staying gone for so long had done exactly that—caused unimaginable pain.

“We should get back to check on your father. I can give you the key to my room if you’d like to head there and rest for a bit.”

I nodded. “It would be nice to take a shower and get out of these clothes. I’ve been in them for over twenty-four hours. A storm moved through Banff, and we were stuck at the airport waiting it out for a while.”

Reaching into her purse, she took out the room key and handed it to me. “Granby Resort Hotel. Room 407.”

I took the key card and slipped it into my wallet. We stood and headed back to my father’s room, both of us silent as we walked. Not long after returning to his room, the doctor came in and gave us an update on when my father would be released. They wanted him to stay at least two more days, then they’d likely release him.

“Dad, why don’t you try to get some sleep?” I said, after we had talked for over an hour about my time in Banff since their visit last summer. My father was genuinely curious about my work and about the ranch itself. They didn’t see much of it last year, or the year before, when they came out for visits. I’d taken them around to see all the sites, instead. Banff was so beautiful, and I really enjoyed my time there.

But in the end, it wasn’t River Falls.

“I am a bit tired.”

My mother gave me a look. “You go to the hotel and rest, too. Not just shower.”

I nodded. “We can take shifts.”

She simply smiled.

Standing, I made my way over to my father and kissed him on the forehead. When Mom started to stand, I said, “No, don’t get up.” I kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“I mean it. Take a nap, Colt. You look exhausted,” she ordered.

I laughed. “A nap sounds like heaven right now. I’m not even sure about the last time I ever took a nap.”

She squeezed my hand. “Get something to eat, as well. You hardly touched the food at the café.”

I said my goodbyes and, an hour later, I’d showered and changed, then laid down to catch a bit of rest. I set my alarm so I wouldn’t sleep too long. I texted my mother that I’d bring dinner later, so she didn’t have to eat at the hospital café again, then closed my eyes and quickly drifted off.

It felt like only five minutes had passed when my alarm blared.

I swung my legs off the bed and stood. The quick two-hour nap helped more than I thought it would. I was honestly surprised I hadn’t dreamt about Ensley. I often did, and since I’d seen her in the flesh earlier, I thought for sure she’d occupy my dreams, but I’d slept deeply for those two hours, for which I was grateful.

I changed out of my sweats and slipped on jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with the Lazy T Ranch logo. I grabbed my baseball cap, put it on since my hair was a mess, and headed out of the room toward the elevator. I pulled out my phone and checked my email. The owner of the Lazy T had emailed me with a few questions. I hated that I’d left him high and dry, but I did recommend Charles, one of the ranch hands, as a great fit to take my place. The kid was young, but he knew everything that happened on the ranch.

The doors to the elevator opened and I stepped inside. I could see out of the corner of my eye that someone else was already in the elevator, but I didn’t look up. I turned and reached for the lobby button, seeing it was already lit. The moment the doors shut, I somehow knew who was there with me.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Ensley, so far in the opposite corner that I thought she was trying to climb the wall.

“Ensley.”

She started to say something when the elevator came to an abrupt halt.

We both froze for a few moments, neither of us saying anything. I went to reach for the elevator phone when the damn thing jerked back to life.

Looking at her, I let out a laugh. “That would have been awkward to be trapped in here together.”

She didn’t say anything, only offered me an icy stare.

The doors opened to the lobby, and she quickly slipped out and practically sprinted away.

“Ensley, wait.”

I jogged to catch up, gently took her arm, and brought her to a stop.

“Ensley, please wait.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, Colt.”

“I disagree. Can we please go somewhere and talk?”

She blinked at me a few times. “Talk? Now you want to talk? About what? How you walked away from me ten years ago with nothing but a fucking note reminding me of a stupid promise? And then radio silence for over a decade?”

I closed my eyes for a moment before focusing on her. “Yes. I would like to talk to you about that.”

“Ensley…ummm…is everything okay?”

She quickly turned her head. “Doug? What are you doing here?”

Doug Sanders stood there with a frown on his face as his eyes went to my hand, which was still on Ensley’s arm. She jerked away.

“Doug?” I asked, as he glared at me.

“Long time no see, Colt.”

My eyes bounced from Ensley to Doug. Were they together?

Forgetting my manners, I asked, “How are you doing?”

He gave me a quick nod. “I’m doing good.” He turned his focus to Ensley. “I just came to see how you’re feeling and if you guys needed anything.”

Ensley smiled. “That’s so sweet of you, Doug.”

“Are you heading to the hospital, or have you had dinner yet?”

I quickly realized I was clenching my hands into tight fists. I slowly relaxed them as I watched Ensley walk toward Doug. “Dinner sounds good.” She glanced back at me. “I’m assuming you’re going to the hospital?”

“I was, yes.”

She smiled again, but it didn’t reach her eyes this time. “Perfect, then I can go after dinner with Doug and hopefully avoid being in the same room with you.”

Doug’s brows shot up, but he remained silent.

“I don’t think we’re going to be able to avoid each other for the next few days, Pippa.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t get to call me that ever again. It’s Ensley. And you clearly don’t know me very well. Then again, how could you, since you’ve been gone for ten years? Besides, avoiding seems to be your specialty, doesn’t it?”

I rubbed at the instant ache in my neck. I hadn’t been prepared for what it was going to be like to run into Ensley. I knew I’d see her soon enough if I was moving back home…just not on my first day.

Without saying another word, she wrapped her arm around Doug’s, and they headed toward the exit.

Interestingly enough, all the years I’d spent regretting my decision to leave were nothing compared to the pain I felt watching Ensley walk away from me with another man.

Ensley

My heart was beating so loudly, I was positive Doug could hear it. He’d placed his hand on my lower back and guided me over to his truck. When he opened the passenger door, I practically threw myself into the cab.

Once Doug was in the truck with me, he started it, then glanced over. “Are you okay?”

I turned and looked at him. He had concern written all over his face.

Why, oh why, can’t I be in love with him? Why?

If I opened my mouth to speak, I was positive I would start crying, so I simply nodded.

“I know a place we can go. It’s low-key, but they have the best pizza and local beer.”

“Yes, beer. That sounds good.”

We drove to a little dive pizza place on the other side of town from the hotel. Neither of us spoke on the way there, which I was glad about. I needed a few minutes to gather my wits. First from seeing Colt—again—and then after the damn elevator stopping like that. I was legit about to freak out.

Once we got inside Lou’s Pizza, I was pleasantly surprised by how nice it was.

“I’ve never been here before.”

Doug chuckled. “Probably because it looks like a hole in the wall. This place is Granby’s best-kept secret. The tourists haven’t even stumbled on it, and the locals keep it pretty close to their chests.”

We slid into a booth, and a waitress was right there with two menus.

“What can I get you to drink?” she asked with a bright, friendly smile.

“Do you have whiskey?” I asked.

She laughed—then quickly said, “Oh, you’re serious.”

I nodded.

“Um, no, we just have beer.”

“I’ll take whatever’s your most popular craft beer.”

Doug smiled at the waitress. “I’ll have the same.”

“Sure thing. I’ll let you look at the menu while I go get these.”

Once she walked off, I sat back in the booth. The tightness in my chest had been present ever since I’d turned to see Colt in Jacob’s hospital room, and it hadn’t eased up at all.

“I have to ask again. Are you okay, Ensley?”

I could feel the damn tears pricking the back of my eyes. I swore I would never cry for Colt Owens again, but here I was, on the verge of doing just that.

Clearing my throat, I whispered, “Not really.”

“I take it you had no idea he’d be here.”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure why I thought he wouldn’t. It’s his father. I still wasn’t prepared to see him, though.” Glancing at the menu, I drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out before asking, “So, what’s good here?”

“If you’re in the mood for pizza, the spelunker is my favorite. Their fettuccine alfredo is my favorite dish overall, though.”

My stomach was too upset for something heavy, even if the alfredo sounded amazing.

“As good as fettuccine sounds, I think my stomach needs something lighter.”

Doug went back to looking at the menu.

Our waitress returned with the beer and two waters.

“Are we ready to order?”

Doug looked at me, and I nodded. “I’m ready.”

“I’ll have the spelunker, small.”

“No changes?”

He flashed her a dazzling smile. “Nope, just as it comes.”

She winked at him, then looked at me. “What can I get you?”

“I’ll just have a house salad with the house dressing.”

“That’s all you want?” she asked.

Handing her the menu, I replied, “Yes, please. I’m not that hungry.”

Once she was gone, Doug reached across the table and took my hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Want to talk about it?”

I dropped my gaze to our hands. Why didn’t I feel anything? A spark. A tingling feeling. My stomach swooning at his touch?

There was nothing.

When I looked back up and our gazes met, I saw it in his eyes. The moment he realized I wasn’t over Colt.

A soft smile appeared on his handsome face. “I always knew you were still in love with him, Ensley. That he was the reason we broke up.”

I frowned.

“No, you never said that…but I knew. I remember how the two of you were together, and how you would look at one another. The crazy thing is, he still looks at you like that.”

I let out a bark of laughter. “I don’t think so.”

He let go of my hand and leaned back. “I think so. You didn’t see the daggers he was shooting at me when he realized I was there for you.”

When I didn’t say anything, he went on.

“Is he back for good?”

Shrugging, I replied, “I’m not sure. I haven’t spoken to him about anything.”

“Let me ask you something, Ensley.”

I held my breath as I tried to brace myself for whatever he was about to ask me.

“If Colt stays in River Falls, do you still want to go out with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

But even I could hear it in my voice. The answer was no.

Damn, you, Colt! Damn. You.

He raised his brows. “Because I saw the way you looked at him, too, sweetheart. You’re just as much in love with Colt Owens now as you were ten years ago.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“Am I? Being silly? Or am I just stating the obvious? You couldn’t commit to us before because of Colt—and don’t say he wasn’t the reason, because you’d be lying to yourself and to me.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head back against the booth seat. “Fuck,” I whispered. “Why can’t I move on with my life? I’ve tried so hard to forget that asshole.”

Doug chuckled. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”

Lifting my head, I met his gaze. “I’m so sorry, Doug. I didn’t mean to lead you on again, and I really thought I was ready to move forward. I want to move forward. I want kids and a family.”

His eyes went wide. “Kids?”

I tilted my head. “You don’t want kids?”

“God, no!”

The weight pressing down on my chest lifted slightly. “Oh my gosh, you just made this so much easier for me.” I laughed slightly. “Thank you.”

He looked confused. “I did?”

“I want kids. Desperately. I was even thinking about IVF. So if you don’t want kids, then we clearly weren’t meant to be.”

It was his turn to laugh. “So now you can say we didn’t work because you want kids and I don’t. Nothing to do with Colt Owens.”

When he winked, I smiled. “That’s exactly right!”

“So, back to this IVF. Are you being serious? You’d want to have a baby without a father?”

A sudden wave of sadness washed over me, despite my immediate reply. “I am being serious. Are you saying I shouldn’t do it unless there’s a man in the picture?”

He rolled his eyes. “You know I’m not saying that, Ensley. If anyone can do it, it would be you. You’re the strongest, most intelligent woman I know.”

Again, why no feelings for this man?

“But you have to explain this to me. Why the rush?”

“The rush?” I replied. “I’m thirty years old, Doug. My clock is slowly ticking away, and a family is something I’ve always longed for. My sister is married and has kids. Now Caden. At the rate I’m going, Gatlin will be married and having a kid before me. It’s not fair, and I’ve wasted so much time on…”

“Colt?”

I sighed. “Yes. If I’m honest. It’s pretty damn clear that I can’t move past him, which really pisses me off.” I shrugged a shoulder. “If I can’t have the marriage, I’ll have the kids.”

“And you think that will fill the void in your heart?”

My eyes widened. “Holy shit, Doug. Way to hit the bullseye.”

He held up his hands and shook his head. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I care about you. I want to see you happy, and if having a child will do it, I’ll support you—as a friend—one-hundred percent.”

A warmth spread through my chest, and I reached out and took his hand. “I really, really wish things had worked out between us. I care about you, too, Doug. If it’s worth anything, you were the only man whom I truly thought could get me over Colt.”

He smiled. “Life has a funny way of working out the way it should. Maybe things didn’t work out between us because fate knew Colt would be coming back to River Falls.”

I shook my head. “No matter how much I still love him, I don’t think I can forgive him for what he did to me.”

“Never say never, Ensley.”

I sighed. “Let’s change the subject, please. Tell me what’s going on in your life.”

We talked easily over dinner, and Doug even had me forgetting about Colt for a short time. I’d forgotten how easy it was to talk to Doug. He was going to make some lucky woman very happy one day.

“How about we head to a bar and get you that whiskey?”

“That sounds amazing.”

Doug brought me to a new bar in Granby called The County Line. It was a country western bar, and at night, they had a live band. Even on the weekdays.

We found a small table tucked into a back corner. I’d already had two shots and was working on my second beer. I could feel the buzz coming on.

“Ensley, I have a crazy idea.”

I smiled. “Those are my favorite kinds of ideas.”

He chuckled. “I was thinking about how Colt looked at me when I showed up at the hotel. Do you wanna make him think we’re a couple?”

My brows drew down. “Why would we do that?”

Doug shrugged. “Maybe make him a bit jealous.”

I laughed. “Please. I highly doubt he’d even be fazed. Thank you for offering, but I don’t like to play games like that. I’ll be fine. Everything will be fine. Besides, I’m sure he’s only here for his dad, and once Jacob’s out of the hospital and back home, he’ll slink off to whatever rock he crawled out from under.”

Nodding, he said, “Okay, but if you ever change your mind, I’m your guy.”

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Doug. What you can do for me tonight is make sure I get back to my hotel safely, because I really want to just drown my sorrows in booze.”

He winked. “Like I said, I’m your guy.”

My head hitting something hard made me cry out in pain.

“Shit! Sorry, Ensley,” Doug said, as he attempted to get me into my hotel room.

“S’okay. Can’t feel a thing!”

“That’s not what your piercing scream just indicated.”

I giggled. “I’m drunk.”

Doug carried me over to the bed and set me down.

“You sure are. I have a feeling it’s not going to make you feel better, though, and come tomorrow morning, you’re gonna be cursing me for letting you have all those shots.”

I waved him off as I struggled to get under the covers. “I won’t blame yous, I promises.”

He shook his head. “You sound like a five-year-old.”

Once I was finally under the blankets, I patted the bed. “Wanna lie down?”

Doug took a step back. “No, I think it’s probably best if I head on out. I’ve still got to drive back to River Falls.”

I was fighting to keep my eyes open. “Are you okay? Yous can sweeps here if it’s too late.”

“Sweeps?”

“Sleeeeep!” I said, trying to pop the p but failing.

“As much as that sounds like fun, I’m going to pass.” He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “Get some sleep. Do you need the trashcan by the bed?”

My eyes popped open. “S’cuse me? Do you think I can’t handle my alcohols?”

His mouth twitched. “Of course not, I know you can. I was just being cautious, that’s all.”

I attempted to wave off his concern, but really just flailed my arm in the air, almost smacking Doug. “Nah. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll plug your phone in and put it next to you on the nightstand, okay?”

I mumbled something that I thought sounded like “okay.” I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

I heard the sound of the hotel door opening, and I yelled out, “Just stay the night, Doug!”

Then I heard…voices. Was that another guy talking? Who was Doug talking to? I tried to lift my head to see, but I was so tired. And when I tried to open my eyes, the room spun. It was easier to keep them shut.

I tried to focus on what was being said, but the voices sounded so distant…

Giving up the battle, I let sleep take over. I’d ask Doug tomorrow who he was talking to. For now, all I wanted to do was drift off into nothing but darkness.

My body had always had an internal clock. It woke up every single morning at six on the dot, no matter what day it was.

Or how hungover I was.

When I opened my eyes, I moaned. The headache was instant. I reached for the side table to find my phone. Turning my head, I looked at the screen.

“Even hungover, you never fail me,” I whispered, as I saw it was exactly six in the morning.

I dropped the phone back to the table, groaned at the noise it made, and rolled over onto my back. My mouth felt like it had cotton stuffed into every inch, and my stomach instantly protested when I slowly sat up.

“Oh, God,” I whispered, placing a hand over my mouth. I was about to be sick.

Jumping up, I ran into the bathroom and made it just in time. I dropped to my knees and threw up. By the time I was done, I was spent. Curling up into a ball, I pressed my cheek against the cold floor. Then I remembered I was at a hotel, and that was totally gross, so I slowly pushed myself up. I’d just have to believe that they had mopped and disinfected the floor right before I came. Yes, that’s what they did, I mentally told myself over and over.

After hauling myself up, I turned on the shower and stripped out of my clothes before stepping in. I let the hot water run over my body until I started to feel a little more alive.

“I’m never drinking again,” I whispered to the water. “Never. Again.”

An hour later, I nearly felt like myself. I stood in front of the mirror and gave myself a pep talk. I was relieved to see that at least I didn’t look like I had a hangover. The hot water had done wonders, as did the black coffee I’d made from the little coffee machine in the room.

“It doesn’t matter if Colt is at the hospital today. You will go and visit Jacob and be there for him and Lynn. You’ll just ignore Colt.” I smiled. “Yes, that’s what you’ll do. You’ll ignore him. That’s something you’re good at.”

Turning away from my image in the mirror, I grabbed my Kindle and laptop and threw them into my purse. One deep breath for good measure before I headed out to the elevator.

Hitting the down button, I whispered, “You’ve got this, Ensley.”

When the door opened, and I saw Colt standing in the elevator, I nearly turned and walked away. Instead, I lifted my chin and stepped in. Turning, I hit the lobby button even though it was already lit, then prayed for the fastest elevator ride of my life.

Instead, a screeching sound filled the elevator—and once again it came to an abrupt halt.

I squeezed my eyes shut and wondered what in the hell I had ever done to deserve this punishment.

When I opened my eyes, I felt it coming on. It started with the heavy weight on my chest, then the struggle to breathe.

“Oh no,” I whispered, as my chest tightened more and more. Then the feeling of air being ripped from my lungs had me gasping.

Colt

The moment the elevator doors opened, and I saw Ensley, my mind went back to last night.

Lifting my hand, I went to knock on Ensley’s door when it suddenly opened. Doug Sanders stood there, a smirk on his face.

“Doug, just stay the night!” Ensley called out from the room.

Before he could say anything, I asked, “What are you doing here?”

He laughed. The fucker actually laughed. “I don’t think it’s any of your business, Colt.”

“Ensley is my business.”

His brows raised as he shut the door to the room. “She may have been at one time, but that’s no longer the case. Remember leaving her without so much as a goodbye? Yeah, that was the moment Ensley was no longer your business.”

I balled my fists. “Are you two dating?”

For a moment, I wasn’t sure if he was going to answer me. A slow smile spread across his stupid face, and I wanted to knock it right off. His non-answer was his answer.

“Again, my relationship with Ensley is none of your business. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted and ready to get home.”

He pushed past me, bumping into my shoulder as he went.

For a moment, when she saw me in the elevator, it looked like Ensley was about to turn and walk away. Instead, she lifted her chin and stepped in, hit the lobby button, then faced forward.

I wanted to ask her about Doug, but he was right—it wasn’t any of my business. My mother and father had told me last night, after I’d mentioned seeing him and Ensley together, that they had dated for a couple months at one point, but Mom wasn’t sure if they were still. I’d wanted to ask more questions, but decided the best thing to do was to stop by and talk to Ensley last night. If we were both going to be spending time with my father, we really needed to talk.

Just as I opened my mouth to say something, a loud noise filled the elevator, and it came to a halt.

“Shit,” I mumbled as I waited for a moment, hoping it would kick back up like it did the last time.

When nothing happened, I stepped forward and reached into the box, grabbing the phone.

“What are you doing?” Ensley asked, her voice high-pitched and breathy.

“Looks like we’re stuck, so I’m just going to call and make sure they know we’ve stopped.”

“This is lobby security.”

“Yes,” I said, as I glanced at Ensley, who was clearly starting to panic. “We’re stuck in,” I glanced at the panel, “elevator two.”

“Okay, sir, please just stay put, and we’ll get this taken care of as soon as possible. Just stay calm, there’s nothing to worry about. You’re safe.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

I hung up the phone, and Ensley asked, “What did they say?” Her chest was moving up and down rapidly with shallow breaths.

“They’re going to get it fixed as soon as possible.”

Her face drained of all color, and she looked like she was struggling to stay upright.

I immediately reached for her, taking her gently by the upper arms. “Ensley?”

“Can’t. Breathe!”

Was she having a panic attack?

She drew in a shaky breath. “One. Two. Three. Four—shit! Is it…four or…eight?!”

Confused, I asked, “What are you talking about?”

“Box breathing! I can’t…I can’t get…a breath!”

Cupping her face in my hands, I bent down to look into her eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. Just try to slow your breathing down for me.”

She shook her head. “I can’t breathe!”

I placed her hands on my chest. “Feel my chest moving, Pip. Look into my eyes and take a breath with me.”

She did as I said, and when her eyes met mine, it felt like someone had gut-punched me. They were filled with tears—and a fear I’d never seen before in those baby blues.

“That’s it, now take a deep breath.”

Ensley drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“That’s right…feel my breathing. Deep breath and let’s hold it for a second, then slowly exhale.”

Her eyes closed, and she dragged in a breath and exhaled when I did. We breathed together for a good minute or so before she opened her eyes again. Her breathing wasn’t so labored, and she looked to be a bit calmer.

“Feeling better?” I asked, rubbing my hands up and down her arms.

“Yes. Thank you.”

She must have just noticed her hands were on my chest, and mine were still on her arms, because she quickly took a step away.

“Have you had panic attacks before?” I asked.

Frowning, she replied, “Once.”

“In an elevator?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No.”

It was clear she wasn’t going to elaborate any further, so I dropped it.

“Did they say how long this would take?”

“I’m sorry, no.”

Groaning, she slid to the floor and dropped her head to her knees.

“We’re safe, though. The elevator won’t fall or anything like that.”

Her head popped up. “Oh great! I wasn’t even thinking about that! Now I’ve got something else to worry about.”

I joined her on the floor but made sure to stay on my side. “What else were you worried about?”

She shrugged. “Running out of air, the doors opening to concrete and we can’t get out. Now, thanks to you, I’m going to worry about dropping to the ground floor.”

“That won’t happen.”

“How do you know it won’t happen?” she asked with narrowed eyes. “Are you an elevator expert? Is that where you’ve been hiding the last ten years?”

“They’re made not to drop. Safety features.”

“They’re also made to move up and down and not get stuck, so there’s that.”

I sighed.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before I broke it again because I wanted where I’ve been the last few years to be out in the open.

“I’ve been working on a ranch in Banff the last five years. I started off working as a farrier and worked my way up to ranch foreman.”

“Canada? Why there?”

It was my turn to shrug. “I liked it there, and the opportunity came up for the job, so I took it.”

I wasn’t about to tell her that I’d met a girl in a bar, slept with her that night, and she offered me a position at her family’s ranch the next morning. It had only been that one time with Lori, but because of the job, I’d found another reason to stay away from River Falls.

“Was this one of your world travel stops?” she asked with a bitter tone.

“Yes. Grady always talked about going to Banff to ski, so I found myself there. I loved it and decided to stay.”

She huffed.

“Is there something you’d like to say?”

Her eyes flicked to mine, and there was nothing but anger there. “There’s plenty I’d like to say to you, Colt, but I’m honestly not in the mood to get into it with you in a trapped elevator.”

“Can’t run and hide afterward?”

I wasn’t sure why I said that. I knew I was poking the bear, but damn if I didn’t want her to say something, anything, to me.

Her mouth fell open. “Me? I’m the one who runs and hides?” A bark of humorless laughter came from her. “That’s rich, coming from you. I’m not the one who ran away, Colt. I’m not the one who left everyone they loved behind. I stayed, and I dealt with the grief and the pain of losing Grady. I stayed for your parents—you can’t say the same, can you?”

I felt my hands ball into fists. “No, I can’t say that, and I can’t change the past either, Pip.”

“Don’t call me that!”

She screamed the words at me, so I held up my hands in defense. “I’m sorry. Old habits and all.” I’d called her the nickname for as long as I could remember.

Ensley looked away and stared at the closed elevator doors.

“I stopped by your hotel room last night to talk.”

Her head whipped back to me. “Talk about what?”

I motioned between her and me. “This. Us.”

“There is no ‘us,’ so please don’t assume there’s anything left to say.”

Blowing out a breath, I said, “I’m staying in River Falls for good, Pi— Ensley. I don’t want things to be strained between us, and I don’t want my return to keep you from seeing my parents, who adore you. So I thought we should talk. Maybe I could explain why I left.”

Her one eye narrowed as she stared at me. “I don’t care that you’re staying, and I don’t care why you left. You being back in River Falls doesn’t mean shit to me. Do what you want, Colt.”

She glanced away, then looked at me again to add, “And nothing will keep me from seeing Lynn and Jacob, not even you, because I would never abandon the people I love.”

I nodded, knowing I deserved that. I should have let it go…but I needed to know. “I ran into Doug leaving your room. How long have you been dating?”

Her head snapped back to me again. “Why do you care?”

“It’s just a question, Ensley.”

Before she could say anything, the elevator jerked to life and started to move. Ensley jumped to her feet. “Thank God!”

Less than thirty seconds later, the doors opened to the lobby and four firefighters stood there.

Ensley practically threw herself out of the elevators. One of the firefighters caught her and smiled.

“Whoa! Are you okay, ma’am?”

“Yes! Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Thank you for getting that going,” I said to one of them, as I shook his hand.

Someone from the hotel approached. “I’m so sorry you were both stuck in there, sir. We’ll be sure to make it up to you with some complimentary nights.”

“That’s very kind of you,” I said, as I glanced over toward Ensley. She seemed fine now, as she stood and spoke to another hotel employee.

“They’re going to shut this one down until they can get someone to come out and figure out what happened.”

I nodded and gave my attention back to the hotel worker. “That’s good. It stopped on me yesterday, as well, but only for a few seconds.”

“No one has come to tell us about it, so again, I’m very sorry.”

Hitting him lightly on the side of the arm, I said, “No worries. No one was hurt, all is good.”

“Thank you, sir, for understanding. If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to let us know.”

Smiling, I replied, “I will.”

Ensley was making her way out of the hotel, so I excused myself and walked faster to catch up to her. When I did, I fell into step alongside her.

“What do you want, Colt?”

“I’d like a chance to talk to you, Ensley.”

“Oh, now you want to talk to me? Because in the last ten years, you couldn’t find five minutes to call?”

“You have no idea how many times I wanted to reach out.”

She came to a stop and faced me. “No, I don’t. Because you never did. Not once, Colt. That first year you were gone, I waited for you. I asked your mother and father about you, and hearing that you were traveling to all these places, simply enjoying your life—without me—finally helped me understand that you never cared about me at all.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true!” she cried. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me. I didn’t even get a goodbye, Colt. Just a stupid note about some stupid promise that you never kept! You made me feel like I meant nothing to you. I not only lost my best friend, I also lost the man I loved and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with! Meanwhile, you cared so little for me that you left without even telling me to my face!”

“I wanted to tell you, Ensley. Hell, the night before I left, I almost asked you to come with me.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I knew you would come—and I also knew you wouldn’t have been happy. You love your family, the ranch, your job. You would have hated me for taking you away from River Falls.”

“But you could have at least asked me! Or better yet, tell me you needed time. I would have understood, Colt.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think you would have.”

She gave me a look that gutted me. “Well…I guess we’ll never know, will we? Because you made sure of that.”

Closing my eyes, I drew in a breath and let it out before looking at her. “I was a coward. Yes, I ran. I should have called, but I knew you would be angry. One month turned into three, then six, then a year, then two. I figured you’d be happier without me.”

Tears filled her eyes as a small laugh slipped free. “Then you clearly didn’t know me or know how much I loved you, Colt. The last ten years of my life have been miserable. Do you know how hard it is to try to move on with your life when your heart belongs to someone who didn’t give two shits about you?”

“But I do—”

“You don’t walk away from a person you love and never reach out to them! You don’t hurt the people you love like that!”

“I do love you, Ensley! I never stopped loving you!”

Her head reared back and she looked as if I’d slapped her.

Then, after a long moment, she pressed her lips together tightly and shook her head. “You don’t get to say those words to me now, Colt. Not a decade too late. I wish you’d just stayed away.”

Turning, she quickly made her way down the street.

I pushed a hand through my hair and cursed under my breath.

Everything was completely fucked.

I let Ensley walk ahead of me as I kept a slower pace. We were both heading toward the hospital, and I decided I would give her time with my father before I joined them. It was the least I could do for her.

As I watched Ensley walk, I went over in my mind how I was going to explain to her the real reason I’d left River Falls—because she deserved to know now much like she deserved to know ten years ago, but I was too scared to tell anyone.

I had to remind myself that the moment she found out, she might never forgive me. Then again, leaving without so much as a goodbye, days after she’d lost her best friend, might have hurt her more than the truth ever could. It was the biggest mistake of my life. But I’d made my bed, and now I had to figure out a way to crawl out of it and make it up to her…if that was even possible.

I’d left River Falls in a sad attempt to save Ensley from pain, and all I’d managed to do was cause more.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

As I sat in the waiting room while Ensley visited my father, I thought about how I might get her alone to talk. The elevators dinged, and I watched as my mother walked out. She didn’t look as tired today as she had yesterday. She glanced into the waiting room and saw me sitting there, and smiled.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked as she approached. I stood and kissed her on the forehead.

“Morning, Mom.”

Her smile grew bigger. “Good morning. Why are you out here? Is your father okay?”

“Yes, yes, he’s fine. Ensley’s with him right now, and I wanted to give them some time together.”

Raising a brow, she asked, “Are you avoiding her?”

Laughing, I said, “No. I’ve actually tried a few times to speak to her, but…something keeps getting in the way.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Come on, though. We’re not going to hide out here. If you’re staying in River Falls for good, you two need to get used to seeing each other.”

Linking her arm with mine, she pulled me toward my father’s room. Mom knocked and opened the door. Ensley was sitting next to the bed, and she and my dad were laughing. It did something strange to my chest. I was both happy and sad. Happy to see two people I loved dearly smiling and laughing, and sad that I couldn’t be the one to put that smile on Ensley’s face.

When she looked up and saw us, her smile faded slightly but didn’t disappear altogether.

“What’s so funny?” Mom asked, as she made her way over to my father and kissed him.

“Ensley was telling me about a horse she was working on the other day. He’s a little crackhead.”

“Little, he is not,” Ensley said, standing up and stepping back for me to walk over to my father’s other side.

“Morning, Dad,” I said, before leaning down and kissing him on the cheek. “How’d you sleep?”

“Okay, I guess. I’m ready to get out of here.”

Tapping his hand, my mother said, “Soon, sweetheart.”

Ensley sat on the love seat that was near the window, and I smiled, knowing she wasn’t going to leave simply because I was there. The conversation soon fell to work, much to my mother’s displeasure. My father told me who his remaining clients were and that most had probably already heard he’d suffered a heart attack, but that he’d need me to go to his office and make the calls and reschedule everyone.

“Ensley can show you where everything is.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Ensley asked from her seat. She’d been looking at her phone when her head snapped up at the mention of her name.

“You don’t mind, do you, darling?” Dad asked.

Ensley looked like she might say that she did in fact mind, but she plastered on a fake smile. “Of course, I don’t mind. Just don’t worry about anything, okay? Colt and I will take care of business.”

Both my parents beamed at Ensley, then turned their smiles on me. “I think you two should get lunch together, so you can talk about when’s the best time to take care of all that. Ensley, I’m sure you have to get back to your clients,” my mother said.

“Besides, the doctor said this morning I’ll be going home tomorrow, so there’s no need to stay in Granby tonight.”

“I don’t mind staying and helping if I can.”

My mother waved off Ensley’s suggestion. “Nonsense. All is fine here, and you need to get back to work.”

Mom turned her attention to me. “Colt, there’s a darling little sandwich shop on Main Street. They have the best Reubens. You and Ensley can grab lunch and work out the best time to meet at the barn and go through your father’s schedule.”

For a moment, I thought my father was going to add something, but he kept his mouth shut.

“I don’t think we need to go to lunch to make those plans,” Ensley argued.

Mom once again waved off Ensley’s words. “Don’t be silly. You haven’t had a good meal since you came here.”

“I have, actually. I went out to dinner with Doug last night. He, um…he came to town to check on…things.”

“Things?” I asked.

Ensley completely ignored me.

“That was so nice of him to do that for you.” Mom turned to my father. “I wonder if the kids can bring you back a salad?”

My father’s eyes lit up. “A sandwich sounds amazing, though. I’d do anything not to have to eat hospital food again.”

“I don’t think the doctor would approve of you eating deli meat. A nice salad will do.”

Sighing, my father said, “I guess a salad from a deli is better than a salad from the hospital.”

Clapping her hands in delight, my mother flashed a wide grin at Ensley. “Then that settles it! You kids will grab lunch, talk about Jacob’s schedule, then bring us back something yummy.”

Ensley forced a smile, and when I looked at my mother and father, I knew exactly what they were doing.

Playing matchmaker with me and Ensley.

I glanced back at Ensley and winked. She shot me a dirty look before rolling her eyes and turning her attention back to her phone.

Lunch was going to be interesting.

Ensley

“I pulled up the sandwich place my mother was talking about. It’s a short walk if you’d like to head there together.”

I hit the elevator down button so hard, I winced at the pain that shot through the tip of my index finger.

“Is that a no?”

I turned to face Colt and gave him my best glowering expression. “Listen, I’m only doing this because your mother forced me into it. I don’t have anything to say to you.”

The elevator doors opened, and I hesitated a long second before getting in.

Once we were inside, Colt faced me. “Ensley, if I’m going to be staying in River Falls for good and working for my father, we’re bound to run across one another. Don’t you think we should…”

Folding my arms over my chest, I asked, “We should what?”

“Talk. Settle things between us.”

“Settle things between us?” I echoed with a humorless laugh.

“Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words. But I really would like to try and explain.”

“You had plenty of chances to explain. Actually, 3,652 days, give or take a few. Let’s just get through this lunch, and whatever it takes to get you on board with your father’s clients, and then I’m done. I’d really prefer to never have to speak to you again.”

The doors opened, and I nearly sprinted out of that little box. I’ll never be able to ride in an elevator again without fearing it might get stuck.

“Is that really what you want? To just ignore me the rest of your life?”

“You’ve done it to me for the last ten years, so it shouldn’t be that hard, right?”

Colt sighed. “It’s complicated, Ensley.”

I laughed again. “Sure it is. So complicated. You left the woman you supposedly loved, not so much as a reason why and with a note that really said nothing. Spent the last decade wandering the globe and, oh, what else? That’s right…never contacted me. Not. Once.”

“I know it was wrong. I regret it more than you could ever know.”

I hated how my heart loved hearing those words. Right now, though, I needed to focus on my head, not my heart. Stopping, I turned to face him. “I’ve moved on, Colt. I told you already, you being back in River Falls makes no difference to me.”

Colt arched one brow. “Then why were you so against this lunch?”

“Just because I’ve moved on doesn’t mean I want to be your friend, either.”

“Does your being with Doug have something to do with this?”

I hated that Colt was under the impression I was dating Doug. Though, I recalled Doug, on the other hand, wanted him to believe it. He’d even suggested making Colt jealous, which I’d refused to go along with. I was serious when I said I wasn’t about to play games. That wasn’t my style.

“I’m not dating Doug. I did before, but things didn’t work out with us. We’re just friends.”

“He didn’t make it sound that way when he left your hotel room last night.”

I exhaled a heavy sigh and started walking again. “I drank too much at dinner last night. It was… It was a shock to see you. He helped me back to my room, that’s all.”

We walked for a few minutes in silence.

“I know you won’t believe me, but I am sorry I hurt you, Pip.”

The use of the old nickname made me close my eyes for a second. I pressed my lips together tightly and remained silent.

Colt held the door open for me at the World Market Deli, and I stepped inside. It smelled so good, and my stomach growled.

We both read the menu on the wall, neither of us speaking. I stepped forward and smiled at the young girl behind the counter.

“What can I get for you?”

“I’ll have the Rachel, corned beef on rye, please.”

“Is the Swiss cheese and Russian dressing okay?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

Colt stepped up beside me. “It’s all on the same bill.”

The young girl flashed a wide smile as she gave him a long look. It took everything I had not to roll my eyes. Yes, Colt was handsome, even more so now that he was older. His dark hair was hidden by a baseball cap, but those honey-colored eyes still sparkled.

“I’ll have your pastrami Reuben on rye. Please make that two, as well as your house salad, Italian dressing on the side, please. The other sandwich and salad will be to go.”

“Any drinks?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at Colt. Did she have any idea he was at least ten years older than she was?

He glanced at me, and when I nodded, he said, “Two fountain drinks, please.”

When he pulled out his wallet, I put a hand on his arm. “I can get it.”

“Thank you, but I’ve got it.”

I took the offered cup and headed to get my drink. I spotted a table in the back corner and almost grabbed it. Instead, I walked to a two-seater right in the middle of the restaurant.

Colt saw where I was sitting and motioned to the table in the back. “Might offer a bit more privacy.”

“Why do we need privacy to talk business?”

He stared at me with a frustrated expression before finally giving up and sitting down.

“I already asked Gatlin to contact your father’s clients and let them know about his heart attack. I was going to move them over to my schedule, just until your father was back on his feet, but now you can reschedule them all.”

“Thank Gatlin for me.”

I nodded.

“Dad said he has about twenty people on his client list, does that sound about right?”

Shrugging, I replied, “I don’t have the numbers on hand. I’d say around twenty-five. Most of them are horses he’s done since the beginning. They weren’t willing to let me take over because I’m a woman and all that bullshit.”

Colt shook his head. “They don’t know what they’re missing. From what I can remember, you were damn good at your job. Are you still doing cold shoeing?”

“Yes.”

“Me, too. I can’t stand how I smell if I do it with heat. Smells like horse shit.”

I felt my mouth twitch with a smile, but fought it.

“I’m not really sure what your mother thinks I can do to help you. You worked for your father before, and literally nothing has changed. His office is exactly the same. He still does everything on paper, even his billing system. You might want to upgrade that to something digital and easier.”

A young gentleman brought us our sandwiches. “I’ll hold off on the other two until I see you’re about done, then we’ll get them made.”

Colt flashed him that brilliant smile of his. “Thank you so much. I appreciate that.”

I figured we would eat in silence, but Colt wasn’t having it.

“Do you just service River Falls?”

With a shake of my head, I replied, “No. I have clients all around the area. I also take care of all of our horses on the ranch.”

“Figured you did. How is everyone? Have Caden and Rachel gotten married and popped out a few kids?”

I looked at him in surprise. “Have your mom and dad not told you anything?”

He shook his head. “Not about the Wildes. I guess it was an unspoken thing. I didn’t ask, and they didn’t tell.”

I leaned back and wiped the corners of my mouth. “A few years ago, Caden asked Rachel to marry him and she said no. Turns out she was a bigger bitch than I had originally thought.”

He screwed up his face. “I never did like her.”

“Yes, I know. You were spot on. Anyway, Caden is now happily married to Lilibeth. As of just days ago, in fact. She owns a store on Main Street in River Falls. They had a baby not that long ago, too, a couple months. Also, Emeline is married to Levi, and they have a new baby, as well.”

Colt leaned forward. “Wait—I thought Levi was married to Caroline.”

“Divorced. I’m not sure if you knew this, but he had two kids. A son and a daughter. His daughter died in a car accident.”

“Jesus. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“He and Emeline are thriving. They have Rhett, Levi’s son from his first marriage, and their son, Jackson. They also adopted two foster kids who are Rhett’s best friends. Their names are Katie and Jimmy.”

His brows shot up. “Holy shit. Instant family. Is Emeline still into horses?”

I smiled. “She runs the stables on the ranch.”

“Good for her. And Caden and Gatlin, are they still working on the ranch?”

I nodded. “They are. Caden is pretty much in control, and I think once both of my uncles retire, Gatlin will take on more roles. Right now, he’s living his best life, working on the ranch and bartending at Billy’s.”

“He bartends?”

Laughing, I said, “He does. Not all the time, mostly on weekends.”

“Still as carefree as he ever was?”

“Indeed, he is. I swear, nothing bothers him. He’s also a crazy flirt.”

Colt smiled, then took the last bite of his sandwich. “He isn’t dating anyone seriously or anything?”

“Gatlin?” I laughed. “I think it would have to take a special kind of woman to put up with my younger brother. He has a big heart, but he’s also like Peter Pan.”

“Peter Pan?”

“Never grows up. Never takes anything too seriously. He just lets life roll off his back.”

“That’s a bad thing?”

I gave a one-shoulder shrug. “I don’t know if it is or not. That’s just not how I live my life.”

We sat for a few moments in silence before he asked, “When did you start having panic attacks?”

Rolling my eyes, I replied, “That’s something new. Like I mentioned, it’s only happened one other time.” I lifted my gaze to look at him. “You seemed to be pretty familiar with what to do. Do you get them?”

He shook his head. “No, the, um…the daughter of the rancher I worked for used to get them a lot.”

An instant rush of jealousy hit me, stealing my breath. All I could do was nod, since I couldn’t seem to find my voice.

“She was only twelve when she got her first one. The ranch hands learned early on how to help her if she ever had one around any of us.”

“How old is she now?”

“Twenty-eight.”

I nodded again, and couldn’t help but wonder if anything had ever happened between them. “What’s her name?”

“Lori. Her father, the owner of the ranch, is Judd Murray. Super-nice guy and treated his employees like family.”

“You must have really loved it there to stay as long as you did.”

His eyes met mine, and I could tell he wanted to say something, but we were interrupted by the same young man who’d brought our food out earlier.

“Here is your to-go order.”

Colt smiled. “Thanks again.”

When he looked back at me, I tried like hell to ignore the way my heartbeat sped up. Or how my body reacted to that stupid smile still. It used to melt me on the spot, and if I wasn’t careful, it would again.

Quickly pulling my gaze away from Colt, I stood. “I guess we should get back to the hospital.”

“Pip, can you wait just one second?”

I slowly sat back down. Colt’s eyes turned darker as he met my gaze. “I need you to know something.”

Drawing in a deep breath, I held it. I had no idea what he was about to tell me…but something told me I didn’t want to know.

“I meant what I said earlier. I never stopped loving you, Ensley. Every time I tried to move on with someone, all I could see when I looked at them was you.”

I wasn’t about to admit to him I felt the same way.

I lifted my chin. “Is that supposed to make me feel good? To know that you…what? Just closed your eyes while you fucked them and pretended it was me?”

Colt glanced around to see if anyone was listening, then looked back at me. “Really, Ensley?”

Leaning forward, I lowered my voice. “Really, Colt. You say you still love me, but I call bullshit, because I’ve seen what real love is—with my parents, with yours, with my siblings and their partners…hell, with all my old friends, who’ve all pretty much gotten married and had kids. And here I am, still single because I gave my heart to a bastard who left me heartbroken. So you’ll have to forgive me when I insist you couldn’t have loved me, Colt. You couldn’t have, because a person who loves someone doesn’t leave them alone and hurting. Confused and wondering for years what the hell they did to push you away.”

“You didn’t do anything, Pip.”

“Stop!” I cried out, then quickly squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my voice again. “Stop calling me that.”

When I opened my eyes, Colt had tears in his—and it felt like I’d just run into a brick wall.

I shook my head and stood. “I can’t do this.”

I could hear Colt rushing to get everything, and I pushed the door open and drew in a deep breath of fresh air.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Turning to look at him, I asked, “What did you think would happen, Colt? You’ve been gone for ten years, and you suddenly show back up and I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?”

“Of course, I don’t think that. But I’d hoped that you would at least talk to me. Let me try to explain why I left.”

“You couldn’t do that ten years ago? Or anytime in between? Just call me and say, I don’t know…like maybe, ‘Hey, Ensley, I’m having a really hard time here, and I think I need some time away.’”

“No! Because you needed me, and my parents needed me, and it was my fault Grady killed himself. I wasn’t thinking clearly, Ensley!”

I took a step back. I’d never heard Colt raise his voice. Ever. “What do you mean, it was your fault? It wasn’t anyone’s fault, Colt.”

He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. When he opened them again, he glanced around. “This isn’t the place for this conversation. Once my father is settled back at home, I would really like a chance to sit and talk to you, but…if I had stayed, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the guilt. Knowing I was the reason he…” Colt closed his eyes again.

Every part of me wanted to tell him no. That the time for talking was long gone. But the sadness in his eyes when he opened them again caused me to nod and whisper, “Okay.”

A look of relief washed over his face. “Thank you.” He sighed and held up the bag in his hand. “I should get this food to my folks.”

I nodded once again and turned to start walking back to the hospital. Neither one of us said a word; we simply walked side by side until we reached Jacob’s room. Once inside, Lynn started to bombard us with questions.

“How was lunch?”

“It was good,” Colt said, as he handed the food to his mother and father.

“Did you get to talk?” she asked with a smile.

Colt and I exchanged a quick look, neither of us answering, before I turned and walked over to the love seat to sit down.

“Do you know when exactly you’ll be cut free, Dad?” Colt asked, pulling a chair closer to the side of the bed. I felt bad that we’d both ignored Lynn, but she really needed to just let this go.

“Some time tomorrow. Probably more like early afternoon.”

“Is there anything you need to have at the house before you get home?” I asked.

Lynn smiled at me. “That’s so sweet of you, Ensley. I was going to have Colt stop at the store on the way home, but if you don’t mind, sweetheart, I’ll give you the list.”

“I don’t mind at all. I was going to head back to River Falls this evening, so I can swing by the store and get everything. Do you need any laundry or anything done while I’m there?”

Lynn looked at Colt, then back to me. “If you wouldn’t mind putting fresh sheets on Colt’s bed, that would be amazing.”

The last thing I wanted to do was set one foot into his bedroom. The memories would assault me within seconds. I forced a smile. “I don’t mind at all.”

The next thing I knew, Lynn was making a list—on paper, because she refused to do anything like that on her phone.

“You know where all the sheets are. I have them all marked in the little cases you bought for me that one Christmas. The ones for Colt’s bedroom have his name on them.”

I snuck a quick look over at Colt. He looked down at the floor, and I knew he was feeling guilty for not visiting his family for ten years. Good. He should feel guilty.

“Jacob, is there anything you need me to do?”

He shook his head. “Ryan has been taking care of the horses for us, so he should have all of that taken care of. I let him know I’d be coming home tomorrow. If you wouldn’t mind running by his place, though, if you don’t see him at the barn? Just to make sure he doesn’t need anything.”

Wearing a confused expression, Colt asked, “Ryan?”

“Ryan Muster. We hired him a few months back to help your father around the ranch. He’s really good with horses and has been a huge help.”

Lynn flinched after speaking. Her words were a direct hit at Colt, even though we all knew she hadn’t meant them that way. He raised his hand and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Colt smiled at his mother. “You’re fine, Mom. You’re only speaking the truth.”

Ryan Muster was a twenty-two-year-old from Boise, Idaho, who was more of a flirt than my brother Gatlin, and that was saying something. He was handsome as all get out, and he knew it. I’d lost track of how many times he’d asked me out.

Clearing my throat, I said, “I think I’ll go ahead and head back to River Falls.”

Lynn approached me and wrapped me up in her arms. “Thank you so much for everything, Ensley. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

I squeezed her back. “You know you’re both like my second parents,” I said, as I drew back and smiled at her. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you and Jacob.”

She grinned and nodded her head. “I know.”

Stepping back, I walked to the other side of the bed, opposite Colt. Leaning down, I kissed Jacob on the cheek. “I’m so glad you’re feeling better and going home tomorrow.”

He gently patted my hand. “So am I. Thank you so much for being here, Ensley.”

Tears pricked the back of my eyes as I thought about how this could have been a totally different outcome. Thank God it wasn’t.

“Love you, and rest up. Don’t worry about home. Everything will get taken care of now that Colt is home.”

I could feel Colt’s intense stare but refused to look at him.

When I stepped back, I cleared my throat. “Okay, I’ll see you in River Falls.”

Colt stood. “I’ll walk you out.”

“You don’t have to do that. Stay here with your parents. I know how to get to the elevator.”

He frowned slightly, but sat down.

I quickly turned and headed out of the room. My heart thundered in my chest, and I felt like another freaking panic attack was about to come on. I decided at the last minute to turn left, pushed the door open to the stairs, and rushed down them as fast as I could.

I needed to get back to River Falls right now.

And away from Colt.

Actually, what I needed was my mother.

Colt

“Do you need anything?”

My father looked at me from his favorite chair in the living room and smiled. “Colt, you don’t have to cater to me. I’m fine.”

“You had a heart attack, Dad. I’m not catering to you; I’m making sure you’re comfortable and don’t need anything.”

His smile grew. “I appreciate that, son. I’m good. I’m just happy to be out of the hospital and back home.”

I nodded. “I’m sure you are.”

“Colt…there’s something I want to talk to you about before you head out to my office.”

“Dad, don’t worry about work.”

“I need to tell you something so you’re prepared for what you see.”

He stopped talking the moment my mother walked into the living room, carrying a tray.

“Let me get that, Mom.”

“It’s fine, Colt. It’s just some tea and fruit for your father to snack on.

Dad’s lip went up into a snarl. “Fruit? I was hoping for some chips and queso.”

Mom set the tray down on the coffee table and shot my father a warning look.

He held up his hands and laughed. “I’m joking, Lynn. Fruit sounds amazing.”

She placed his tea next to him on the side table and then handed him the bowl of fruit.

“Mom, is there anything you need me to do before I head out to the barn?”

“No, sweetheart. I’ve got a roast in the oven, and Vivianne dropped off some of her kale salad.”

“Kale?” my father and I both asked at the same time.

“Yes, kale. It’s good for you, and you will eat it! She makes a wonderful and healthy lemon dressing for it. She even put some craisins in there for you.”

“Craisins?” my father asked. “What in the hell is that?”

I fought to keep from laughing.

“It’s raisins, but made from cranberries.”

His brows raised. “Yum…sounds so good.”

“That’s my cue to leave,” I said, as I kissed my mother on the cheek before heading out the door.

“Colt, that talk?”

“Dad, don’t worry!” I called over my shoulder. “I’ll take care of everything.”

The barn wasn’t far from the house, so I walked down the familiar path. I thought being back home would be more painful, but it was the opposite. I felt a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

As I walked to the barn, a young kid who looked to be about eighteen came walking out.

“Um, hi there?” I said, in more of a question than a statement.

He pulled off his work gloves and reached for my hand. “You must be Colt. Ensley told me you were home.”

I smiled. “I am, and you are?”

“Oh, sorry,” he said with a laugh. “Buck is my name. Ryan hired me to come and look after the animals. He was going on vacation and Mr. Owens was in the hospital and all.”

Confused, I asked, “Ryan?”

“The foreman here on the ranch.”

All I could do was nod. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Buck.”

“You, too!”

He pulled his glove on and headed over to a trailer full of hay that must have been delivered earlier.

I turned, walked into the barn, and made my way to my father’s small office. The door was open, and when I stepped inside, Ensley was sitting at the desk. Her head was bent over a book, and her brother, Gatlin, stood next to her. They both looked up when they saw me.

“Ensley? Gatlin?” I asked, confused as to why they were both here.

Gatlin smiled as he made his way toward me. He held out a hand, and I took it.

“It’s good to see you, Colt. Ensley informed me that I wasn’t allowed to beat the hell out of you, so I’m going for more of a friendly approach.”

My return smile instantly vanished as I looked at Ensley, then back to Gatlin. He’d certainly grown up in the last ten years. The guy was all muscle.

“I’m glad you went with her friendly approach. You’ve grown up, and I have no doubt in my mind you could give me a thrashing that I most certainly deserve.”

Gatlin raised his brows. “I agree, but I promised my sister.”

I looked him over exaggeratedly. “Still…I think I could handle what you’ve got.”

Laughing, Gatlin held out his arms in a “come at me” gesture. “You name the place and time.”

Ensley stood up. “Oh, for the love, put the testosterone away, will you both? I swear your nostrils are flaring.”

Gatlin and I both reached up and touched our noses.

“Colt, there’s a bigger issue here than my brother wanting to pound your face.”

I turned to Gatlin again, and he winked. The bastard actually winked at me. Focusing back on Ensley, I walked toward the desk.

“What are you talking about?”

Pointing down to a ledger on the desk, she said, “Your mother and father are broke.”

My head jerked back. “Broke?”

“Yes. There’s no money. The books say there’s money, but your father left a bank statement on the desk, and, please forgive me, I looked at it. I think…I think if he’d just discovered this? Maybe that’s why he had a heart attack. There’s nothing in the account. It’s actually negative.”

I quickly made my way around the desk and took the statement Ensley held out for me.

“How is this possible?”

She cleared her throat and said, “I think Ryan has something to do with it. When I got here yesterday, he was gone. I don’t know when he left, because the horses had hay, grain, and fresh water. My guess is, I just missed him.”

“Why would you think it was him?” I asked.

“There was something off about him. From the moment your father hired him and he found out that you had been gone for ten years, I felt like he was attempting to move into the role you vacated.”

Frowning, I said, “That doesn’t make him a thief.”

She shrugged as Gatlin said, “I have a feeling it was him, too.”

I studied the statement. My father’s checking account was overdrawn, and his entire savings of almost $80,000 was gone, according to the bank account Ensley had pulled up on the computer.

“How did you get into the online account?” I asked.

Ensley pulled out a book. “I made your dad sign up for online banking a few years ago. I helped him set it up. He never changed the password, so when I logged in, I saw everything was gone. His entire savings.

I closed my eyes and pushed a hand through my hair. No wonder my father had a heart attack. That was a lot of money for my parents.

“Colt…I have some money saved. I can help with this.”

Staring at her, I felt warmth spread across my chest. “That’s very kind of you to offer, but I’ve got money saved up. I’ll fix this. First things first, though. I need to find out who he owes money to.”

“Already did that,” Gatlin stated, as he reached for a piece of paper and handed it to me. “Ensley called me yesterday when she found this, and we spent much of last night figuring things out. We had to get into your father’s information, so I hope you’ll forgive us for that.”

I waved off his concern. “No, I appreciate you guys doing this. I guess this was what he wanted to talk to me about before I came out here.”

“Jacob?” Ensley asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, he said he needed to talk to me before I came out here, so I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Glancing over the list and quickly adding up the numbers, I realized what he owed for some expenses for the ranch wasn’t that bad. “I’ll get some money into his account today.

“I can reach out to these people and let them know you’ll be taking care of the outstanding balances as soon as possible, if you’d like me to,” Gatlin offered.

Exhaling, I nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind, Gatlin, that would be great.”

Ensley added, “And I reached out to your dad’s clients and got them all rescheduled with you. I also changed his password for his online bank account. I hope that was okay.”

I nodded as I stared at the desk. “Yes, thank you, Ensley.”

When she placed a hand on my arm, I looked at her.

“Are you okay, Colt? This is a lot of money.”

“Yeah. I’ve got a good amount of money put away. It’ll be fine.”

She looked relieved. “That’s good to know. I think you need to talk to your father. I’m sure this is weighing heavily on his mind.”

All I could do was nod once again.

This was my fault. He wouldn’t have had to hire someone if I’d been here. Another thing to add to the growing list.

Gatlin cleared his throat. “I’ll head back to the ranch and start on this.”

I glanced over. “Thank you, Gatlin. I’ll owe you for this.”

He took the list I handed back to him. “I’m not doing it for you, Colt. I’m doing it for Jacob and Lynn, and for my sister. She loves your parents.”

Feeling suddenly more tired than I had ever been, I nodded. “I know she does.”

Gatlin said his goodbyes to his sister and walked out of the office. The room suddenly felt too small. I quickly made my way out, down the aisle of the barn, and outside. I leaned over, braced my hands on my thighs and drew in a few deep breaths, trying to avoid throwing up.

I felt Ensley before she even said anything.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “This is all my fault.”

“This isn’t your fault, Colt.”

Standing, I spun around and gaped at her. “How can you say that, Ensley? If I’d been here, my father would never have hired that fucking prick! Let me tell you, if I find out that little fucker stole from my father, I’m going to tear him apart.”

She smirked. “You’re going to have to fight Gatlin for that honor. He’s already called an old college buddy. All he’d tell me about him was that this was right up his alley. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing he’s going to track down Ryan.”

I scrubbed both hands over my face. “Fuck! This is such a mess.”

“Do you think your mother knows?”

My hands dropped to my sides. “No. I highly doubt it. My father has never really shared the finances with her before, unless that’s changed in the last ten years. He did say he wanted to talk to me before I came out here, and he stopped talking when Mom walked into the room. I left with them both together, so he never got a chance to say anything else.”

“May I offer some advice?”

Meeting her gaze, I begged, “Please do.”

“Be with your father when you guys tell Lynn. Not that I don’t think she can handle it, she is, after all, a rancher’s wife. But I’m sure this close to their retirement, finding out everything you saved is gone, will be a bit shocking. Look at your dad.”

I let out a breath, then glanced around the area outside the barn. Everything looked exactly as it did the day I’d left. “I thought it would be painful to be back here, but it’s the opposite. Everything looks the same.”

“Your father isn’t much for change.”

A humorless laugh slipped free. “That’s for sure.”

“Is there anything I can do to help, Colt?”

I looked at her…and for the first time, noticed the circles under her eyes. “You look tired, Ensley. How late were you and Gatlin working here?”

“Until four this morning. Gatlin forced me to go home at that point. I slept for a couple of hours, then came back. I found Gatlin still here, working on the outstanding debts. It wasn’t much because your dad seems to pay people as soon as he gets an invoice. It’s just those late ones and the new invoices he’s gotten since. Hay, feed, supplies, things like that.”

“I don’t know how I can repay you both for discovering this.”

“I love your parents, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. I hate that your dad was so worried it might have caused…” Her voice trailed off.

We stood there in silence for a few moments before I cleared my throat. “I should go check Dad’s stock on everything.”

“It’s good. I checked it all.”

Of course she had. “Thank you.”

“I have to get going. I have a client I need to get to this afternoon.”

She turned to walk away, and I reached for her hand. “Ensley, wait.”

Pausing, she glanced down at our hands.

“Are you free for dinner tonight?”

Her brows drew down. “Dinner?”

“Yes. I’d still like to talk to you.”

She sighed. “Colt, what happened is in the past, and there’s really nothing to talk about. I mean, there isn’t anything you can say or do to change the fact that you left. You’re home now, and the best we can do is try to be friends.”

“Friends?”

She studied me for a minute—then started to laugh. “Wait…do you honestly think I’d ever get back together with you?”

When I didn’t say anything, she jerked her hand out of mine. Turning to face me fully, she pointed at me.

“You had your chance, Colt. I was ready to make you my entire world, and you walked away. The sooner we both come to terms with that, the better. I want to move on, and you being home again doesn’t change that.”

“That’s fine, Pip, if you want to move on. And you’re right, I am the one who walked away, and I’ve paid the price for that every day for the last ten fucking years. But it doesn’t change the fact that you deserve the truth.”

She rolled her eyes. “The truth? I know the truth, Colt. You left. You stayed away for ten years. Ten years! There’s nothing else that I need to know. Nothing that will ever make that okay.”

Spinning away from me, she stomped off toward her truck.

I closed my eyes and whispered, “Fucking hell.”

Later that day, I found my father alone in the kitchen, his head stuck in the freezer.

“Looking for something?” I asked.

“Ice cream. Your mother hid it, and I have no idea where it is.”

I smiled. “I think she threw it out.”

My father shut the door and turned to look at me, a horrified expression on his face. “She threw it away?”

Nodding, I replied, “I believe so.”

“Well, shit.”

“Where’s Mom?” I asked, grabbing an apple from a bowl on the counter and holding it out to my father.

He rolled his eyes. “Can I get peanut butter with that?”

Laughing, I motioned for him to sit at the breakfast table. “Yes. Take a seat. I’ll cut it up for you.”

Dad sat down and started to speak, but I went first.

“Everything’s been taken care of. The checking account and all the bills.”

His eyes widened in shock. “What do you mean, it’s all been taken care of.”

“I paid all the bills and put back the money that was stolen from your savings account. I think tomorrow we need to go to the police department and file a report. Also, was Ryan the only one working on the ranch? Ensley mentioned he was.”

He nodded and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Tim and Jack, the ranch hands who have worked for me forever, retired this last year. I thought I could handle this place on my own, but I was wrong. I hired Ryan to help out. He’s a nice kid. Polite and all.”

I sighed. “Well, being polite doesn’t mean you’re honest.”

He frowned and looked confused.

“Does Mom know?”

He shook his head, looking at the table.

“Dad, when did you find out about the negative account?”

“The morning I had the heart attack.”

Nodding, I got to work on the apple while Dad got up and went to the pantry.

“What in the fuck is this?”

He walked out with a jar and showed it to me. “When in the hell did your mother change out my peanut butter?”

Dad was holding up a jar of all-natural peanut butter. I couldn’t help it; I laughed.

“Probably earlier today.”

He set the jar on the counter and returned to his seat. “I’ll pay you back every cent,” he said quietly.

“You will not, and I don’t want you worrying about it, Dad. I have money saved up. A lot of money. I’ve been living rent-free the last five years on the ranch, so it wasn’t a hardship for me to take care of it for you.”

His eyes filled with tears, but he blinked them away.

“I feel like this is my fault. You wouldn’t have hired that little punk in the first place if I’d just come home.”

“Son, it wasn’t your fault. Are you talking about Ryan?”

“Yes.”

“Ryan’s a good kid. Just talk to him, he’ll tell you he didn’t have anything to do with it. How in the world would he have even been able to get the money?”

I glanced up from where I was cutting the apple. My father didn’t know Ryan was missing. Fuck. I was going to have to be the one to break it to him.

“Dad…Ryan’s gone. He left.”

“What do you mean, he left?”

“He’s not here. I checked the cabin where he was staying and everything of his is gone. Turns out, he paid someone to come each day and check on the animals. Did you see him the day of your heart attack?”

Leaning back in the chair, Dad said, “He was on vacation. Your mom texted him, and he said he’d take care of everything and that we shouldn’t worry. I thought that meant he was coming back to the ranch.”

I shook my head. “He’d already taken off with your money, Dad.”

He slowly shook his head. “But how?”

“I called the bank, and they informed me that Ryan was on the account.”

Dad’s eyes went wide. “What?”

“They emailed me a form that you had signed, giving permission to add him to the account. I’m going to guess he somehow slipped it in with other papers for you to sign.”

His eyes closed. My father was pretty well known for just signing things and not reading them. My mother was forever getting on him about that.

“I treated him like a son. He ate dinner with us every night. I trusted him.”

I tried to ignore the pain building in my chest over that confession.

He glanced at me. “You’re sure he took the money?”

I nodded. “He transferred it from the account four days before your heart attack.”

“That’s when he left on vacation…but I’m guessing he packed up all of his things, stole my money, and took off.” Letting his head drop, my father took in a few deep breaths.

“Dad, don’t get worked up about this. I told you, everything’s taken care of. There’s money in the bank and all your bills have been paid. Not just the business bills, but all the household bills, too. You and Mom do not have to worry about anything except your healing and getting better.”

When he looked up, a tear was moving down his cheek. I hadn’t seen my father cry since Grady died.

I dropped the knife on the counter and made my way over to him. Dropping to my knees, I took his hands in mine. “Dad, please don’t be upset. Please.”

He squeezed my hands. “Thank you, Colt. Thank you for taking care of us.”

“Dad, it was nothing. It’s the least I could do. I’m so sorry I left you and Mom. I’ll never be able to make it up to you both.”

“That’s nonsense. You saved this farm, Colt. I have some stocks, of course, but I’d been trying to build up our savings. Now you’ve saved us from ruin.”

I shook my head. “I didn’t do any such thing.”

He sighed. “Let’s keep this between us, please. Your mother doesn’t have to know how stupid I was. She’ll never let me live it down.”

I grinned. “I have a feeling she’d let it slide. But I agree, she doesn’t need to know. We’re a clean slate now, Dad. I’ve got everything covered from this point on. You’re in full retirement mode.”

“Now, I don’t know about that. I don’t want to be sitting around getting old and fat.”

“I highly doubt Mom will let that happen. You can work on that garden you guys have talked about for years. Fiddle around with veggies instead of horses.”

He rolled his eyes. “Your mother already told me she’s going to be planting kale. What the hell is kale anyway?”

I laughed, leaned up, and kissed my father on the cheek. “Wait until you find out about the nice-cream she has planned for you.”

“Nice-cream?”

“Ice cream made from bananas and protein powder.”

Groaning, my father said, “For fuck’s sake. I don’t need to worry about another heart attack, I’m going to starve to death!”

I laughed as I made my way back to the apple and peanut butter. We spent the next thirty minutes going over his client list to make sure there wasn’t anything specific I needed to know. By the time we were done, my mother had returned, triumphantly declaring she’d convinced Vivianne to give her the recipe for her kale salad.

Ensley

The second I left the Owens’ ranch, I went directly to my parents’ house. I hadn’t been able to stop by yesterday because of everything I’d stumbled upon with Jacob and his missing money.

I pulled up and parked behind my mother’s car. I could already feel the tears starting to build.

“Do not cry, Ensley Wilde. Do. Not. Cry.”

Grabbing my phone, I opened the truck door and slid out. I drew in a few more deep breaths as I walked up the steps to their porch. Before I got to the door, it opened, and my mother stood there. And that’s when the dam broke. I instantly started to cry as I walked into her outstretched arms.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet girl.”

The next thing I knew, we were on the sofa, a blanket over both of us, while my father handed us cups of his famous hot chocolate.

“How did you know?” I asked, before blowing my nose into a tissue.

“Gatlin stopped by earlier to tell us that Colt’s back.”

My father added, “He also told us about Jacob’s ranch hand stealing from him.”

I nodded. “I think that’s why he had the heart attack. I saw the bank statement on his desk, showing an overdrawn balance. That’s when I called Gatlin to come and help me figure things out. Colt, I guess, is going to take care of paying everything for his father.”

“Is he staying in River Falls for a while then?” Mom asked.

Sighing, I said, “He’s back for good.”

My parents exchanged a look. After Colt left ten years ago, I’d spent what felt like days in my parents’ bed. My mother would simply hold me while I cried, until I couldn’t cry any longer.

“That must have been a shock for you to see him. Gatlin told us it was at the hospital.”

“Yeah. He showed up a few days ago. He’s going to take over Jacob’s farrier business. As you know, Jacob sold off his cattle a number of years ago, but he still breeds horses. That’s what Ryan was helping with.”

“Do you know how he emptied the accounts?”

I shook my head. “No idea. I can’t see Jacob giving him access. He had to have tricked him somehow.”

Mom cleared her throat. “Well, I’m sure they’ll get it taken care of, now that Colt’s home. I’m more concerned about you.”

“He keeps saying he wants to talk to me. To explain.”

“And you don’t want that?” my father asked.

“Why should I give him the chance to explain things now? It’s been ten years, Dad! Ten! He can’t just walk into my life and think we’re going to simply pick up where we left off.”

They exchanged looks again.

“What are you two silently saying to one another?”

My father was sitting on the coffee table, and he reached for my hand. “Did he say he wanted to get back together?”

A swift, sinking feeling hit my chest. “No…not really. He just said he wanted to talk.”

He squeezed my hand lightly. “Then he may just want to explain his reasons for leaving.”

“He’s had ten years to explain them, Dad.”

Turning to face me, my mother added, “I’m not saying he should get a pass. You’re absolutely right, Ensley. He had ten years to contact you, and he didn’t. But…he is back now, and maybe hearing him out is what you need to move on.”

“I have moved on,” I blurted.

My mother raised a single brow. “Ensley, we’re your parents, and no one knows you as well as we do. You have not moved on. Yes, parts of your life have moved on to a certain extent, but you haven’t let down the wall around your heart. Just look at Doug. When things got serious, you broke up with him.”

I closed my eyes. Doug. I’d already forgotten all about him coming to Granby and taking me to dinner.

“I thought I was ready to move on with Doug. He even came to Granby to make sure I was okay. Took me to dinner and let me get…well…he was there for me. But he saw Colt in the hotel where we were both staying, and he said that he could tell simply by the way I looked at Colt that I still had feelings for him.”

“And do you?” Dad asked.

I shrugged. “I won’t lie and say I don’t feel anything when I’m with him. I loved him, and thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I haven’t met anyone who makes me feel the way he did. I’ve tried…I really have.”

I wiped my tears away.

“Oh sweetheart. You gave your heart away, and sometimes it’s not so easy to get it back. Look at your brother Caden.”

I blinked back tears as I looked at my mother. “I thought I’d be married with kids by now. I’m so angry with myself that I’ve let Colt steal that away from me.”

My father let go of my hand and sat up straighter. “I’m going to play devil’s advocate here, pumpkin.”

I ran the back of my hand across my nose, and my father snarled his lip.

“Gross, Ensley.”

Mom handed me another tissue.

I wiped again. “Sorry. Go on, play devil’s advocate.”

“You don’t know why Colt left.”

I shook my head. “I don’t. I’m assuming it was because of Grady.”

“I don’t think it’s simply because his brother passed away. There has to be more to this, and at the time, he couldn’t explain it. It sounds to me like Colt was running from whatever that reason is. He didn’t know how to tell his parents or you—maybe especially you—so he ran. And kept running until it got to the point where he felt like it was too late to come home. Too much time had passed.”

Frowning, I asked, “You really think there’s something else?”

He nodded. “I saw the way that boy looked at you from the moment you first started dating. He was head over heels in love, Ensley.” He held up a hand when I tried to speak. “I’m not saying what he did was right, but I do think there was a reason that, in his mind, he thought was big enough to make him leave. Just look at Grady, honey. No one knew anything was wrong with him, either, until it was too late.”

“You think I should let him explain?”

My father and mother both nodded as my dad spoke. “I do. Nothing says you have to take him back, or even be friends with him. But I think that, if you truly want to move on and get over Colt, you have to let him tell you why he left. Otherwise, you’re always going to wonder, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself you don’t care.”

“I agree with your father. There was something more behind his reason for leaving.”

My shoulders dropped, and I sighed. “I don’t want to relive that pain again.”

“I doubt he does either, but it’s something you both have to do. Let him explain to you why he left, then you can decide what the next move is.”

Placing my hands over my mouth, I exhaled deeply, then dropped my hands to my lap. “I’m sorry I came here and immediately broke down crying.”

Drawing me to her, my mother hugged me tightly. “That’s what we’re here for. You can always come to your father and me for anything, Ensley. You know that.”

I chewed nervously on my lower lip before asking, “Do you think we can fall in love that deeply twice in our lives?”

Dad drew back in surprise. “Of course, you can. Look at Caden and Levi.”

“But…a love like yours,” I said, as I pointed between the two of them. “I don’t think Levi and Caden’s first loves were anything like what they have now. So if you find a great love and it slips away, is it possible to have it again?”

My mother grabbed both of my hands. “Of course it is, Ensley.”

I felt fresh tears roll down my cheeks. My mother reached up and wiped them away before kissing my forehead. Then she leaned back and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at her.

“Do you remember after Colt left, when you asked me if you could die from a broken heart?”

I nodded.

“You didn’t die, Ensley. You thrived. Look at what you’ve done in your life.”

I looked down at our hands. “I don’t have a family, though.”

“Pumpkin, you still have plenty of time to build a family.”

I sniffled. “But he’s the one I wanted a family with. I don’t know how to turn off my feelings for him, and I’ve tried so damn hard!”

Moving to the sofa, my father gathered me in his arms and held me. I buried my face against his chest and let the tears fall freely. It was time I admitted the truth.

“I love him still, Daddy! I hate myself for it, but I still love him.”

He kissed my head. “I know, baby girl. I know. My offer still stands to kick his ass. I might be ten years older now, but I think I can take him.”

I drew back to look at him. He was dead serious—and I soon found myself laughing.

“You don’t think I could take him?”

Between fits of laughter, I replied, “With Gatlin or Caden’s help, maybe.”

My father huffed.

“I love you both so much.”

They both wrapped their arms around me, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel hurt and pain. I simply felt love.

A week had passed, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Colt. But I hadn’t expected to see him, really, especially since I’d stuck to just going to my appointments and back home. I hadn’t even been into town at all. I also hadn’t gone to visit Jacob and Lynn. I’d called and talked to them, but I hadn’t been by.

The tap on the neighboring stall had me turning to see my brother Gatlin standing there.

“Hey.”

“Emeline told me you were working here today. I thought you had that interview.”

“The reporter came by earlier, so I thought I’d stick around and take care of some of the horses today. Emeline also said a few of these little monsters need to be ridden.”

“Want some company?”

Glancing at him over my shoulder, I asked, “Did Mom send you down here?”

He laughed. “No. Should she have?”

I dropped the horse’s hoof and stood. “I might have had a bit of a breakdown at their house the other day.”

Gatlin nodded as he stroked the horse’s neck. “I get it. Did you feel better afterward?”

Huffing, I said, “No. I did admit to them and myself that I’m still in love with Colt.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s not news.”

Placing my hands on my hips, I sighed. “I’ve been getting that from a lot of people.”

“Who are we riding, and I’ll saddle them up.”

“Ceres and Luna.”

“How much longer do you have here?”

“That was my last shoe. Just need to get her back into her stall and give her some yummies. Emeline said she’ll turn her out after her meeting.”

My brother smiled. “I’ll get ’em ready and meet you out front.”

“Sounds good.” He turned to walk away, and I called out, “Gatlin?”

Turning, he walked backward. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Winking, he said, “Anything for my favorite sister.”

I laughed, watching as he walked into the tack room.

After getting cleaned up, I walked to where Gatlin was waiting with the horses. He was talking to Emeline, who was holding Jackson.

“Hey, how’s the little man today?”

She grinned down at her son, then at me. “He’s doing amazing. I swear he’s the perfect baby.”

Kissing him on the cheek, I replied, “That’s because he’s a Wilde.”

“Listen, I was going to ask you if you’re feeling up for an adventure.”

My eyes lifted to meet hers. “Guess it depends on what type of adventure you’re talking about.”

“Well, with the benefit charity dinner being moved to the first weekend in November, which is next weekend, Mom needs my help with the final details. I was wondering if you could watch Jack for me. It would be for most of Sunday. And it’s just him, since I’ll have the older kids with me. Mom’s going to put them to work decorating.”

“Are there not any other events that week?” Gatlin asked.

Emeline shook her head. “No, Mom and Dad rented the event center for the whole week so we could make sure we have everything ready to go. This is the biggest charity dinner to date, and Will gave it to them for next to nothing.”

Will Owens was the owner of our one and only event center in River Falls. He was also Jacob’s cousin.

“I’d be happy to watch this little chubby angel.”

“You’re sure?”

I gave my sister a look. “Of course I’m sure!”

She smiled. “Thank you so much. I’ll drop him off around nine, so we can get there for an early start. Levi is helping, as well, or else he’d stay home with Jackson.”

It crossed my mind to ask why Mom hadn’t asked me to help, but I suspected I’d be put to work plenty closer to the charity dinner the next weekend.

“You coming or what?” Gatlin asked, clearly tired of waiting.

“Yep,” I said, as I took hold of Ceres and swung up into the saddle.

“Thanks for exercising them. With two of our guys on vacation and me not able to find time to ride lately, these guys are in desperate need of exercise.”

“I never need an excuse to ride,” I assured her.

“Thanks, guys!” Emeline called out again, as she turned and headed back into the barn.

“Ready?”

Smiling back at my younger brother, I replied, “Let’s go.”

Ceres followed Luna as Gatlin headed to a trail that was normally used when Emeline held her summer camps. I knew it was one of his favorites, leading up to a large pasture where we always held the chuckwagon dinner the last night of camp.

Once the trail widened, I moved up alongside him. “Do you remember when we used to come up here as kids to play?”

He gave me a grin. Lord, my baby brother was handsome. So was my older brother, Caden, but Gatlin had a certain spark about him. He lived life as if every day were his last. Everyone adored him, and women especially fell all over themselves just to talk to him—and he was absolutely clueless about it all.

“Remember the time you tied me up and left me for hours up here?”

A sudden laugh burst from me. “I forgot all about that!”

He glanced at me and tried to frown. “I didn’t.”

“Mom and Dad were so worried when they couldn’t find you. I was afraid to tell them where you were, and I couldn’t get back out to ride up and cut you loose.”

“How’d they find out?” he asked.

“Mom was about to call the police, so I confessed. I was grounded for three weeks. No horses, no playing…pretty much stuck in my room and only allowed out to eat.”

It was his turn to laugh. “Why did you leave me up there for so long?”

“When I got back to the barn, Caden made me help him with chores, and by the time I was finished, it was dinnertime. I tried to saddle up a horse first, but Uncle Mike told me I couldn’t go by myself that late in the day.”

“And you didn’t think to tell him you left me up there?”

“At least I put you in the shade.”

His head dropped back with another round of laughter. He shook his head. “I was so hungry, and my throat killed me from yelling for help.”

I chuckled. “Dad said halfway up the trail they could hear you screaming. He said you sounded like a mountain lion.”

Gatlin rolled his eyes. “I was going through puberty.”

We rode in silence until we got to the pasture. Gatlin slid off, tossed the reins over the saddle and let his horse graze. I did the same.

“Where’s your favorite spot on the ranch?” he asked, as we walked.

“Granddad took me to a spot on top of a hill, on the west side of the ranch. There’s a beautiful view of the river below. I go there a lot when I need to think, or just to try and reconnect with myself.” Glancing at him, I asked, “What about you?”

“There’s a trail that leads to the BLM lands that goes up and over that one small mountain. From the top, you can see the entire river valley. It faces west, and man, the sunsets up there are unreal.”

“It’s a good spot to watch the storms roll in, too. Dad told me that was where our great-great-grandfather Lawrence used to go to gauge the storms coming in.”

He let out a sigh and shook his head. “It sucks we lost all that land down there.”

My eyes traveled toward the BLM land that had once belonged to our family. Our grandfather had sold it to the state with the promise it would be Bureau of Land Management property, and that we could still graze our cattle there. It was peppered with cattle even now.

“Yeah, I agree.” Turning to look at my brother, I asked, “Have you ever been in love?”

His head snapped in my direction. “Me?”

I laughed. “Yes. You.”

“No. I’ve never met anyone I thought I might want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not sure I’ll ever get married.”

Surprised, I asked, “Why not?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m not against getting married, but there isn’t a single person in River Falls whom I could see myself with.” He looked at me. “I always imagined when I met the right person, I’d be able to feel it.”

I smiled. “You will.”

“What’s it like to fall in love?”

I blew out a breath. “Oh, man. I’ve only done it once, obviously. I don’t think I really fell in love with Colt until maybe a year into dating. I loved him, I think, but I didn’t really understand what love was at first, since I was pretty young. It’s both thrilling and a bit scary.”

“Scary. Why?”

A soft laughed slipped free. “Well…you probably remember how I fell apart after Colt left.”

“I do. You spent days in Mom and Dad’s bedroom. I can remember hearing you cry. Then that shit happened with Caden and Rachel and that was traumatic. Maybe deep down, I’m just afraid to fall in love and get hurt after all that.”

I nodded. “I think that’s fair.”

“Has he told you why he left?”

We stopped walking. “He wants to, but I haven’t given him the chance.”

“Why not?”

Shrugging, I said, “Maybe I’m afraid he had a legitimate reason. And that I won’t hate him for leaving me anymore.”

“Do you want to hate him?”

My eyes lifted to meet my brother’s. “I don’t know. Seeing him has brought back all these memories and feelings I’ve worked so hard to bury for the last ten years. Being near him makes my body feel so alive, though.” I smiled and kicked at a rock. “I guess that’s love. It’s an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs. You wouldn’t know it by looking at our parents, but I can remember a time or two when I heard them fighting.”

“Not often, but I remember, too. They always made up fast…and I overheard that a time or two, as well.”

He shuddered, and I laughed. “I’m glad my room wasn’t above theirs.”

“As you should be.”

I reached for his hand. “Don’t be afraid to fall in love, Gatlin. For all the heartache Colt put me through, the two years we were together were the happiest of my life. I felt…whole when I was with him. When he left, he took a piece of my heart with him.”

“I think he left a piece of himself here with you, Ensley. You don’t see the way he looks at you, but I did that day in his father’s office. He’s still in love with you.”

I blinked back tears. “I think that’s the hardest part of falling in love. You give your heart and soul to someone in hopes that they’ll take care of them and not hurt you. But, sometimes they do…and you have to decide whether or not you want to risk letting them do it again.”

He squeezed my hand. “But love can also heal a broken heart. Maybe even by the same person who broke it.”

Pressing my lips together tightly, I nodded. “I guess so.”

Gatlin looked out over the pasture. “I like my life, I really do. I have no stress or worries. I like being single and not tied down to one person, but I can admit there are times when I want more. It’s hard not to when you look at our parents, as well as Caden and Emeline.”

“I was thinking of IVF.”

I wasn’t sure why I blurted it out, but there it was.

“A baby on your own?”

“You don’t think I should?”

He laughed. “Oh hell, if anyone would make a great single mom, it would be you, Ensley. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and I’m not saying that just because you’re my sister. You’ve never been afraid to try anything. You’ve never let people put you in a box. Maybe that’s why I can’t find anyone to love…because I compare every woman to the four most important ones in my life.”

“Four?” I asked.

“Grams, Mom, you, and Emeline.”

I stretched up and kissed him on the cheek. “Gatlin Wilde, someday you are going to make one woman a very lucky lady. You make everyone think you’re this crazy guy without a care in the world, but today, you’ve shown me a side that I’ve never seen before.”

He winked. “A good side?”

“A very good side.”

“Well…we’ve established I’m not an expert when it comes to love or relationships, but I really think you should let Colt tell you why he left. Maybe it’s the closure you need, or the balm to heal your broken heart. I don’t think you can move on until you do, Ensley.”

The same advice I got from Mom and Dad. I felt a tear slip free, and my baby brother reached up and wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

“I love you, Gatlin.”

He drew me in and hugged me. “Not as much as I love you, even though you left me up here to die when we were kids.”

We both laughed as we held on to each other. I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, but by the time we climbed onto our horses and headed back down the trail, I’d made a decision. I would reach out to Colt…and let him explain why he left.

Now to just ignore the dread I felt in my chest at finally getting the answers I’d longed for.

Colt

I hadn’t been home long, but it finally felt like I was settling in nicely. I’d moved into the small cabin that the little prick Ryan had lived in. In addition to embezzling from my parents, he’d sold everything that he could from the cabin. I swore if I ever got my hands on that motherfucker, I was going to kill him. I came up with a story that I donated everything so my mother wouldn’t ask questions. It made sense that I would want to update the cabin.

After giving it a good cleaning and letting my mother help me pick out furniture and decorate it, it was finally starting to feel like a home. Or it would when the rest of the furniture arrived next week. Right now, my bed was a pad on the floor and a sleeping bag. It was one bedroom, one bath, with an eat-in kitchen and a small living room. I still spent most of my time at my parents’ house, though, helping Mom look after my dad, so right now, the cabin was just a place to sleep.

Walking through the front door of their house, I could hear my parents talking in the kitchen.

“Hey, I’m here,” I called, making my way toward them. My mother turned around—and her hands flew to her cheeks.

“Oh, Colt, don’t you look handsome!”

Smiling, I held my arms out to my sides and looked down at the tux I was wearing. “It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been this dressed up.”

“I’m glad the Wildes moved the charity dinner to an earlier date. I know it was a lot for them to manage right around Christmas.”

“Do they still have the kids from the orphanage come on Christmas morning?” I asked.

“Oh, they changed that…what? Last year or so, Jacob?”

My father nodded. “Something like that. The good news is, there are fewer and fewer kids. The last time I talked to Levi, he told me they may move it to the orphanage this year and do it there.”

“That’s a good thing, though.”

Mom smiled. “It is. All those poor little souls without parents. It always breaks my heart when I volunteer.”

“Dad, you look nice. Are you sure you’re up for going?”

He was dressed in a tux, as well, and, for the first time since I’d been home, he looked truly healthy. His color was back, as was his energy.

“I’m feeling good.”

“It’s all that kale,” I said with a laugh.

“Do not joke like that,” my mother said, playfully hitting my arm. “I’m feeding him other things besides kale.”

“I know. I’m here every night eating it. I’ve lost five pounds since I’ve been home.”

Dad laughed, as Mom waved a hand to dismiss me.

“Mom, you look beautiful, by the way,” I said, as I kissed her cheek. She was dressed in a cream formal gown with flowing sleeves. Her hair was pulled up, and I loved seeing the red in her cheeks.

“Well, it’s not hard to feel pretty in a gown your son bought for you.”

“You deserve it.” I clapped my hands. “Shall we?”

Thirty minutes later, I pulled up to the event center, dropped my mother and father off by the door, then parked my truck. When I got out, another truck pulled in right next to me. As I started to walk toward the center, I heard my name.

“Colt? Colt Owens?”

Glancing over my shoulder, I stopped and smiled. “Jared?”

“What in the hell, man! When did you get back to town?”

My best friend from high school rushed over, his hand stretched out to shake. He looked just like he did back in the day, just with a bit of gray streaked in his brown hair. Approaching a bit slower was a pretty blonde who looked a few years younger than Jared. She wore a royal blue dress that fell just below her knees and wrapped around her waist, accentuating her figure. A diamond necklace hung around her neck, with diamond earrings to match.

I couldn’t help but wonder what Jared was doing these days, that allowed him to wrap his wife up in that kind of expensive jewelry. His parents hadn’t been poor, by any means, but neither were they well off.

“I got back a few weeks ago. My father had a heart attack and, well…I was past due for coming home.”

“I didn’t hear that about your father. I’m so sorry. Is he okay?”

I nodded. “He is, thank God.”

Seeming to notice he hadn’t introduced the woman next to him, Jared said, “Katie, this is Colt Owens.”

Smiling, she shook my hand. “Jared has told me stories about the two of you in high school.”

I laughed and winked. “I hope you didn’t believe any of them.”

“Oh, I most certainly did. I’ve been married to him for six years. I know exactly who he is.”

Jared laughed. “I met Katie when I was in the Army in Texas. We got married, and she moved back to River Falls with me.”

My brows raised. “Congratulations. Kids?”

Katie replied, “Two little girls. Five and two.”

“Wow.”

Jared beamed. “They’re my pride and joy. And Katie’s the love of my life. I’m not sure where I’d be right now if it hadn’t been for her.”

Gently patting his chest, she said, “Oh, stop that. We’d better get inside; it feels like the temperature’s dropping and I didn’t bring a wrap.”

“May we head in with you?” Jared asked.

I gestured them along. “Please do.” As we began walking, I asked Jared, “How long have you been back in River Falls?”

“Two years. Katie started a law practice in Granby.”

“You’re a lawyer?” I asked her.

She smiled. “I am.”

“Do you mind if I ask what kind?”

“My firm handles criminal justice and family law.”

I gave her a look. “Katie, you and I need to set up a meeting.”

She stopped walking and turned to study me. “I’m intrigued.”

“My father hired someone to help out on our small family ranch. He slipped a piece of paper into a stack of things for my father to sign, giving him permission to be added to his bank account. Then he withdrew every cent and left. I’ve hired a private investigator to find the guy. I want him to pay for what he did to my father.”

I swore Katie’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Swing by my office on Monday and I’ll be happy to represent you. I’m available all day, since I was supposed to be off, but plans changed.” She handed me a business card from her small purse.

Smiling, I replied, “Thank you, and I’ll stop by first thing.”

Once we stepped inside the transformed event center, I glanced around to find my parents. They hadn’t made it very far before stopping to speak with someone.

Turning to my friend, I said, “It was so great seeing you, Jared. And nice to meet you, Katie.”

“Let’s catch up sometime soon,” Jared said, handing me a card, as well. “It’s got my cell on there.”

I glanced at the card. Jared owned his own excavation company. I smiled and said, “Sounds good. I’ll give you a call soon.”

Katie quickly swept Jared away to go talk to someone I didn’t recognize. Turning, I made my way over to my parents. They were talking to Gus and Nellie Wilde.

The moment Gus saw me, his eyes lit up. “What is this I see in front of me? Colt! You haven’t changed a single bit, son!”

Smiling, I shook his hand, then bent down and kissed Nellie on the cheek. “It’s wonderful to see you both. How’ve you been?”

“Retirement has been blissful,” Gus stated with a wide grin.

Nellie nodded. “It has been nice. We’re going on a cruise next week.”

My mother added, “Oh, I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise. I think Alaska.”

“That’s the cruise we’re going on! You and Jacob should see if there’s still availability.”

My mother waved off the suggestion. “I wish we could. Right now it’s not in the cards, as we have medical bills coming in.”

Gus and Nellie both nodded their understanding.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t about to let it go. “Mom, if Dad can get clearance to go, I’d be happy to buy your tickets.”

“No, Colt, you’ve done enough already,” my father added quickly.

Instead of arguing with him, especially here at the charity dinner, I simply nodded—giving Gus a wink when my father wasn’t looking. He gave me a small nod, clearly aware I wasn’t done trying to convince them.

“Jacob! Lynn!”

We all turned to see Vivianne Wilde approaching. She was an older version of Ensley. Just as beautiful, with the same stunning smile that lit up a room. Her blonde hair was pulled back, and she wore a lovely cream gown that flowed freely at the skirt.

“How are you feeling, Jacob?” Vivianne asked, as she kissed both of my parents on the cheek.

“I’m feeling good.”

She gave him a once-over. “You look amazing. I’m sure it helps having Colt back at home.”

Turning to me, she drew me into a hug. I thought for sure she wouldn’t pay me the time of day for the way I’d treated her daughter.

“Welcome home, Colt.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Wilde.”

She shook her head. “Do not ‘Mrs. Wilde’ me. It’s Vivianne. How are you settling in?”

“Pretty good. Glad to be back home.”

Smiling, she said, “Well, I’m sure Lynn and Jacob are just as happy.”

My mother nodded. “We are.”

“Please mingle around for a bit. Dinner will be served in about thirty minutes. Colt, I’m sure there are a lot of people who’ll be happy to see you.”

I smiled, deciding not to mention I highly doubted her daughter was one of them.

Before another word could be said, Vivianne was off and greeting other attendees.

“I’m so glad I’m finished being the hostess,” Nellie said with a small laugh. “Come on, Gus, let’s go find our seats. My dogs are killing me!”

“It was nice seeing you both again,” I said, before they moved on.

Gus put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Same to you, son. Don’t be a stranger, and stop by the ranch sometime.”

“I will, thank you, sir. Enjoy your evening.”

Turning to my parents, I asked, “Did you want to find your table? Dad, are you feeling tired?”

“I’m feeling just fine, but I think it might be a good idea to find our table, just in case I do need to sit down.”

Holding my arm out for my mother, I escorted her, as my father walked on her other side. We quickly found their table, but before they could sit down, Ralph and Rachel Mitchel walked over. They owned a ranch near the Wilde family.

“Jacob, how are you feeling? Did you get our basket we sent to the house?” Rachel asked, as she hugged my mother, then my father.

“We did get it, thank you both so much,” Mom replied.

“I’m feeling pretty good for an old man who had a heart attack.”

Ralph shook his head. “My doctor has been on me for the last few years to start exercising and eating better. Not going to lie, when I heard from Ladd about your heart attack, I started changing my eating habits.”

“Please tell me you’re eating kale, too,” my father laughed.

Ralph nodded. “Kale, beets, more fish. Complete overhaul.”

“You could learn a lesson or two from Ralph,” my mother said, a serious expression on her face. She turned to Rachel. “I never thought about beets. I’m going to add those in.”

“For the love of all,” my father groaned. The moment my mother looked at him, brows raised, he smiled. Then he turned to Ralph, rolled his eyes, and said, “Now look what you’ve gone off and done.”

Ralph tossed his head back so far when he laughed, I thought for sure his cowboy hat was going to fall off. “Son, I’m about twenty years older than you, at least. My overhaul is long overdue. You’ll feel better eating right. I know I do.”

I glanced around the room as my parents got lost in conversation with Ralph and Rachel. I had one person I was searching for—and when I finally found her, it felt like all the air was pulled from my lungs.

Standing just a few tables down from me was Ensley. Her hair was pulled up and piled on top of her head, with small white flowers tucked into various places. The dress she wore was a black lace dream. The top hugged her upper body perfectly, while the bottom flowed around her legs. It almost reminded me of the prom dress she’d worn her senior year. But this one looked as if a thousand little diamonds covered the dress, and every time she moved, it sparkled.

She was talking to a guy I didn’t know. As a matter of fact, there was a large number of people at the charity dinner whom I didn’t recognize.

I felt a tug on my sleeve, and I looked down to see a little boy, maybe around six or seven, staring up at me. He wore a black cowboy hat, and another little boy and girl stood right behind him. The other boy had an identical black cowboy hat, and the little girl was adorable in a pink floral dress. Her hair was pulled up in a bun on top of her head.

“Hello. Do you know where our papa and minnie are?”

Crouching down to get to his level, I smiled. “I don’t know. Can you tell me the names of your papa and minnie, cowboy?”

“Rhett, Jimmy, Katie…Papa and Minnie are right there at the table. Remember what your mom told you?”

I glanced up to see Ensley standing before me. She looked so beautiful, even with her hands on her hips and a stern look on her face.

All three kids looked chagrined before the little girl finally spoke. “They said don’t wander off.”

“And you wandered off, didn’t you?”

Three heads bobbed.

“Do I need to walk you back to the table, or do you think you can get there without getting lost?”

The little boy who’d tugged on my sleeve smiled. “We can get there, Aunt Ensley.”

She motioned with her hand and said, “Then get on getting!”

The little girl giggled as she grabbed the two boys by the hands and tugged them toward the family table.

I stood and smiled wider as I watched them scamper off. “And who do they belong to?”

Ensley was smiling fondly at the three kids. “Levi and Emeline.”

Confused, I looked at the kids, then back to Ensley. Then I remembered what she’d told me about her sister adopting.

“Rhett, the one who asked where my parents were, is Levi’s son from his first marriage. Katie and Jimmy are the kids of Jim and Lori Mills.”

“Wait—Jim and Lori passed?”

She nodded, sadness filling her eyes. “Emeline and Levi adopted them.”

Confused, I looked at her. “I had no idea they’d passed.”

Her brows drew down. “Your parents must not have mentioned it. Jim and Lori died in a boating accident, and there was no other family to take in the kids. They were at the orphanage, but once Levi moved back, and Rhett became best friends with them, Emeline and Levi fostered them for a while, before deciding to adopt them.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Man. I’m so out of the loop.”

Ensley shrugged. “That’s what happens when you never come back home.”

Deciding to ignore that, I caught her gaze. “You look beautiful, Ensley.”

Her eyes moved slowly down my body, then back up. “You don’t look half bad yourself. Even with the gray in your hair.”

I drew my head back in surprise and resisted the urge to touch my head. “I do not have gray in my hair.”

Leaning in closer, she made a low humming sound as she glanced at my hair. “If you say so.”

I narrowed my eyes as she drew back and gave me a sugary-sweet smile.

Pointing, I said, “Must be nice having light-colored hair; it’s harder to see your gray.”

Her smile instantly faded. “Why are you here?”

“Why wouldn’t I be here? I want to support what your family does for the kids in the community, just like everyone else.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right. Or you’re trying to gain favor with my family, maybe?”

I tried to ignore the way that hurt. “You really think that little of me, Pippa?”

“Once again, I’ll kindly ask you to please not call me that, Colt.”

Before I could say another word, Emeline cleared her throat. I hadn’t even noticed she had been standing there. My parents had wandered off, and I quickly looked around to see where they were. I was worried my father might be doing too much.

“Colt, it’s so good to see you!” Emeline said, hugging me tightly before stepping back. She looked just as beautiful as her sister and mother, in a form-fitting, silver-and-black gown. It was similar to the style Ensley wore.

Ensley reached for her sister and drew her back. “Why are you hugging him?”

Emeline looked confused. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because he’s an asshole who left without a word ten years ago.”

Emeline gave her an incredulous look. “Do you really think this is the place to act like that?”

“Act like what?”

Leaning closer to her sister, Emeline said in a low voice, “I get that you were hurt. That you still are. But Colt has been one of our biggest donors for the summer camps for years, Ensley. I’m not going to ignore his generosity because of something that happened between the two of you.”

Ensley’s eyes snapped back to me.

Emeline turned to face me once again. “I just wanted to swing by to personally thank you, Colt. Not only for the donations over the years, but for the saddles two years back.”

“He was the anonymous donor who bought them?” Ensley asked, shock clear in her voice.

“I told everyone they were from an anonymous donor at Colt’s request, but yes, he was.”

It was starting to get uncomfortable with Emeline’s praise and Ensley’s glare. I could actually feel my cheeks heating. “You’re very welcome, Emeline, and I’m glad I was able to help. But I should track down my parents. I don’t want my father to overdo it.”

“How’s he doing?” Emeline asked.

“Much better. Thank you for asking.”

She squeezed my arm. “I’m so glad to hear that, Colt. I won’t keep you. I just wanted to personally thank you.”

Smiling tightly, I said, “It was my pleasure.”

I took a step back, nodding at both sisters. “If you’ll excuse me.”

When I turned and walked away, I swore I could feel the heat of Ensley’s gaze on my back.

Ensley

My head was spinning as I watched Colt walk away from us. Whirling on my sister, I demanded, “Why didn’t you tell me it was Colt who’d bought all those saddles?”

“He asked me not to tell anyone. Probably because he didn’t want what just happened to happen.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “What just happened?”

“You accused him of being here to win favors with our family.”

I huffed.

“Listen, I get why you feel the way you do, Ensley, but have you spoken to him about why he left in the first place?”

Even though I’d already decided to talk to Colt, I still said, “It’s not going to change anything.”

My younger sister sighed. “Then maybe it’s time to let it go, if you’re not willing to let him explain.”

“Why are you taking his side?”

Emeline closed her eyes for a moment before looking at me. “I’m not taking anyone’s side. But this isn’t healthy for you, Ensley. Didn’t you say the exact same thing to Caden? If you don’t want Colt in your life, then you need to just move on. I mean, it’s clear you no longer like the guy.”

I swallowed hard. “That’s not true.”

Her brows shot up. “Really? Cause from where I’m standing, you sure act like you hate his guts. The way you just spoke to him was utterly rude. I just don’t understand. If you don’t want him, let him go. Then maybe you can both move on.”

I stood there staring at my sister, my mouth hanging open. I knew she was right, but when had my baby sister become so…blunt?

No, she was simply being truthful.

“I can’t.”

A confused expression crossed her face. “You can’t what?”

My mouth quivered. “Let him go. I still love him.”

Emeline glanced around, then took my hand and guided us out of the room and into a small office right outside the main room in the event center.

Once the door was shut, she turned to me. “Talk to me, Ensley.”

I drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I can’t talk to him, because even though I thought I wanted to know why he left, I’m terrified to actually hear his reasons.”

She frowned. “That makes no sense at all.”

Tossing my hands up in the air, I said, “I know! Trust me, I know. Nothing in my life has made sense, Emeline. I’ve felt so lost for so long, I’m not even sure I know how to…”

Taking my hand in hers, she asked, “Know how to what?”

I shrugged. “Find myself again? I thought my life would be so different from what it is. All I wanted was to get married and have kids, and oh my God, I sound like a broken record. I keep telling people this, but I’m standing in my own way. Believe me, I realize that.”

“You can still marry and have kids, Ensley You’re only thirty!”

Shaking my head, I whispered, “It’s hard when I’m still in love with Colt. I’m terrified of what he’s going to say. What if I’m the reason they both…”

“Oh, honey.” My younger sister wrapped me in her arms and held me while I let the floodgates open.

When I finally managed to get myself under control, I stepped back. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. This isn’t like me! I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I’m a self-pitying asshole.”

Emeline let out a soft laugh. “You are not. I’m sure having Colt come back home has brought up a plethora of emotions. He hurt you, Ensley, and you’re allowed to be upset about it, but you have to talk to him to move on. That’s more than clear.”

I drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Thank you for letting me get that out. Seeing him tonight, looking so damn hot in that tux, and then hearing what he did for the summer camps, and everything he’s done to help his mother and father…why does he have to be so nice?”

“Well, he did skip town, leaving nothing but a stupid note, totally breaking your heart and keeping you from moving on for ten years. Don’t forget that part.”

Tilting my head slowly, I replied, “Thank you for that lovely reminder, sis.”

She shrugged. “Just speaking the truth.”

I rolled my eyes. “I need a mirror to fix myself before I go back out there. The last thing I want to do is let him know I’ve been crying over him.”

“You will talk to him, though?”

Blowing out a breath, I nodded. “I’d already decided to talk to him after getting the same lecture from Mom, Dad, and Gatlin. I need to learn to rein in the anger first. I wish I just hated him. I mean, I do hate him, but I don’t hate him. If that makes sense.”

She smiled softly. “It makes sense. Are you okay to go back out or should I make an excuse?”

I chewed on my lower lip for a few moments before I asked, “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

Emeline screwed up her face. “Yeah, you do. Your eyes are bloodshot, and you know how the tip of your nose always gets red when you’re upset? Well, you look like Rudolph.”

My hand instantly went to my nose.

“Let me tell everyone you got a headache.”

I quickly reached for her hand. “Then it will seem like I left because of Colt.” I shook my head. “No, I’ll be okay. I just need a few minutes and a bathroom to look at myself, and I’ll be fine.”

Less than a minute later, I was dropped off at the bathroom while Emeline returned to the charity dinner. I wouldn’t be missed, but she would. After all, this dinner was to benefit the summer camp she ran for underprivileged kids and, of course, the orphanage’s Christmas event in town.

Leaning in, I stared at myself. “Get your shit together, Ensley Wilde. You are not going to cry over Colt Owens again. Never. Again. You’re stronger than this.”

My finger went to my nose, which was a bit red. “Damn it,” I whispered, as I used my hands to fan myself and willed the color to go away. When I finally felt like I was back in control, I stood up tall, squared my shoulders, and gave my reflection a nod.

Turning on my heel, I walked to the bathroom door, yanked it open, and stepped into the hall—only to walk straight into what felt like a brick wall.

“Whoa, are you okay?”

My entire body tingled as two strong hands took hold of my arms.

I slowly lifted my gaze…and met Colt’s.

“I’m fine. Sorry about that.” I tried to move around him, but he held me in place.

“You’ve been crying.”

Letting out a gruff laugh, I stepped back. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

His eyes searched my face. “Your nose is red.”

My eyes closed, and I cursed under my breath. When I opened them again, I struggled to take a breath. Colt was looking at me with such tenderness and love.

Damn him!

Before I could say anything, he asked, “Do you want me to leave?”

Confused, I slowly shook my head. “What?”

“If my being here is making you upset, Pi— Ensley, I can leave.”

I felt something warm fill my chest. “No, I don’t want you to leave. You have just as much of a right to be here as I do. I just…it’s been an emotional time.”

He nodded. “Are you free for lunch tomorrow?”

This is it. This is the chance to find out why he left.

I felt myself chewing on my lower lip and quickly stopped. When words failed me, the only thing I could do was nod my head.

“I can swing by the ranch and pick you up, or we could meet somewhere. Maybe Granby, so people don’t start talking here in River Falls. I’m guessing the Daily Dirt is still a thing.”

A small laugh slipped free. “Yeah, it’s a thing still. I’ve been able to largely avoid it, so Granby might be the best option.”

Colt rolled his eyes but smiled, as well. “So, do you want me to pick you up or meet somewhere?”

“I’ll meet you at Bonnie’s Bake House.”

A wide grin appeared on his face. “That place is still open?”

I smiled. “It is.”

“Want to say around noon?”

I looked into his eyes…and realized that if I stared for too long, I could easily get lost. “Noon sounds good.”

We stood there for a few moments, neither of us saying a word, before Colt asked, “You’re sure you’re okay?”

Smiling, I replied, “I’m fine.”

He cleared his throat. “They’re about to serve dinner, so…”

“Right. Yes. I’ll let you go so you can use the restroom, or do whatever it was you were going to do in the bathroom. I mean, I know what you’re going to do, but you might need more time to do…um…whatever it is you’re gonna do.”

Another smile grew across that handsome face.

Oh. My. God. What is wrong with me?

I waited for the floor to open up and swallow me.

Taking a step to the side, I pointed in the direction I needed to go. “I’m just going to go now.”

Colt nodded. “I’m just gonna go pee.”

A nervous bubble of laughter slipped free, and before I could do or say anything else, I fled as fast as I possibly could in my high heels.

By the time I made it back to our family’s table, I was out of breath from walking so fast. I slipped into my seat and reached for my napkin, placing it across my lap before grabbing my water and nearly downing the whole thing.

Gatlin leaned in and whispered, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked with a forced smile, as the waitress set down our salads.

“Your nose is red and your hands are shaking.”

I whipped my head up to look at my brother. “My nose is not red and my hands…” I held them up to get a look. “Are, in fact, shaking.”

Dropping them back to my lap, I drew in a deep breath.

“Do you want me to go kick his ass? I think he’s in the bathroom. No one will hear his screams. Especially if I flush a lot.”

It took everything I had not to start laughing. Instead, I said, “No, but keep the offer open for future need.”

He winked. “Will do.”

Smiling, I bumped him with my arm. “I love you.”

“Not nearly as much as I love you, sis. But honestly, are you okay?”

“Yes,” I said, as I took his hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze. “At least, I will be. I’m meeting Colt for lunch tomorrow to talk.”

“Want me to come with you?”

I chuckled. “I think I’ll be all right.”

When I looked across the large round table, I caught Emeline’s gaze. I smiled, and she returned the gesture.

“Aunt Ensley?” Katie said, tapping my arm.

“Yes, sweet girl?”

“Can you teach me about horses?”

A feeling I’d never experienced before hit me right in the middle of my chest. “Me? You don’t want Emeline to do that?”

Katie looked at Emeline, who was currently talking to Lilibeth. She smiled, then looked back at me. “I know she would, and she has, but I thought it would be neat to learn from you, since you know how to shoe them and everything. I want to grow up to be a horse whisperer, like you are.”

My brows shot up. “Who told you that? That I was a horse whisperer?”

She shoved a mouthful of lettuce into her mouth and chewed as I waited patiently for her to answer. “Um…oh shoot, what’s his name? He’s the really cute guy you were talking to earlier. Mr. Jacob and Ms. Lynn’s son.”

“Colt?” I asked in surprise.

“Yes! How silly that I forgot! It’s like a boy baby horse.”

“What else did he say to you?”

“Well, he wasn’t talking to me. He was talking to someone else, and he said your name and how you were a horse whisperer. He said you knew everything about horses and could connect with them in ways he’s never seen. So, I asked him if you knew more than Emeline, and he smiled at me, crouched down, and said you did! I didn’t think anyone knew more about horses than Emeline.”

I smiled. “Emeline knows just as much as I do. We both learned from our mother and grandmother.”

“But you’re a horse whisperer. He said so.”

Glancing at my sister, I looked back at Katie. “I would love to teach you whatever you’d like to learn. You have to ask Emeline and Levi first, though, okay?”

She nodded as a wide grin appeared on her face. Then she yelled across the table, “Emeline, is it okay if Aunt Ensley teaches me about horses?”

I closed my eyes and tried not to laugh. “I didn’t mean right now, Katie.”

My younger sister looked from Katie to me and back. “As long as she has time, of course, she can.”

Katie clapped her hands. “When can we start, Aunt Ensley?”

“Oh, um, I guess we need to see when we’re both free. I’ll get with Emeline tomorrow and figure it out. How does that sound?”

“Amazing! This is the best day ever!”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. When I sat back, I looked past my sister and saw Colt watching me. Our eyes met, and he smiled. He’d clearly seen the interaction and knew something good had happened. I returned the smile before quickly looking away, so he wouldn’t be able to read anything into the expression.

But in that moment, I truly was head over heels for Colt Owens.

The rest of the evening, Colt did everything he could to stay as far away from me as possible, probably to ensure I didn’t explode into tears again. That didn’t stop me from scanning the room every chance I got to find him.

When the night was winding down, my mother mentioned going to say her thank-yous and goodbyes to Jacob and Lynn. I spotted Colt speaking to Logan Miller, the granddaughter of Janet Miller, our town gossip columnist—and a shot of jealousy raced through my body. Not simply because he was talking to her…but because her hand was on his arm and they were both laughing.

“I see Logan’s got her claws into Colt,” Emeline observed, as she stopped and stood next to me, her arms crossed over her chest.

Logan was dressed in a black gown that showed way too much cleavage and sported a slit so far up the side that I was stunned you couldn’t see the color of her panties—if she even had any on. Her hair was down, flowing in soft curls around her exposed shoulders.

“Does he not know she’s a baby?” I seethed, resisting the urge to fold my arms over my chest like Emeline.

“He probably has no idea who she is. What was she, like, twelve when he left?” Emeline asked.

“What are they even laughing at?” I glanced at my sister. “Does she still work at the vet clinic?”

“Oh gosh, no. Levi let her go not long after he started working there. I heard from Lilibeth that Logan went back to school and she’s getting her nursing degree.”

“She probably wants to hit on Mark next.”

Mark Johnson worked at the only medical office in River Falls. His father had recently retired, and his sister, Berkeley, was the nurse practitioner.

Smirking at Emeline, I said, “Did you know that Gatlin and B have a little thing going on?”

Her mouth fell open. “What?”

I quickly glanced around to make sure no one heard us, then leaned closer to my sister. “I don’t think it’s serious. I mean, I think Berkeley wants it to be, but you know our brother.”

“So a no-strings kind of thing?” Emeline asked.

I nodded. “The only reason I know is because I’ve seen her leaving the barn a few times, and I saw her car parked outside your old cabin one morning when I was out riding.”

After Emeline married Levi, she’d moved in with him and the kids, and Gatlin moved into the small cabin that once belonged to our great-grandmother, where Emeline previously lived.

“Really? I’m surprised he’s having her come to the ranch. If Mom sees that, she’ll start planning a wedding.”

I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. Turning to see if Colt was talking to Logan still, I frowned. “Are they leaving together?”

“No, he surely came with his parents.”

Narrowing my eyes, I forced myself not to grit my teeth. I had absolutely no reason to be jealous, and it was honestly none of my business. Still…

“Then why did he help her with her coat? And now she’s got her arm around his as they walk out the door.”

Emeline drew in a quick breath. “He wouldn’t. Would he?”

I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but my heart sank as Colt and Logan disappeared out of sight. Emeline and I both turned and looked at each other.

“She’s up to something,” Emeline said, with an expression that said if I needed her, she’d be next to me during the war.

Nodding, I took one more glance in the direction of the exit as I agreed, “She’s totally up to something.”

Colt

As I walked out of the event center with my mother, father, and Logan Miller, I couldn’t help but feel that the young lady clutching my arm was up to no good.

“How in the world did your parents leave without you, Logan?” my mother asked, clearly as confused as I was.

“Oh, they’ve done it before. I think they’ve grown so used to me not being around, they simply forgot that I came with them.”

My mother stared at her, as my father and I exchanged a look that said neither of us believed the story she was dishing out. The girl had spent most of the evening following me around, thinking up one reason after another to talk to me. She couldn’t have been more than twenty, maybe twenty-one.

We were almost to my truck when I spied Janet Miller, Logan’s grandmother.

“Janet!” I called out, and she turned and looked at me. I’d run into her earlier in the evening, and she’d asked a million questions. Where had I been? Why hadn’t I come home sooner? Then she asked me if I wanted to do an interview for her column, which I’d politely declined.

She smiled. Then she saw that Logan was next to me, and a look of confusion crossed her face, but it was gone almost instantly.

“I’m glad we caught you before you left,” I said. “Logan needs a ride home. Her parents left without her.”

Logan made an odd sound beside me, then she started sputtering. “Oh, they, um, they didn’t mean to leave me, Gram. But the Owens were nice enough to offer me a ride home, so I’m good.”

“Logan, wouldn’t it be easier to ride home with your grandmother, since your parents live right next door to her? You do still live at home, correct?” my mother stated. “It’s a bit out of our way to take you home if we don’t need to.”

Logan’s nostrils flared, but she managed to force a smile in my mother’s direction. “Yes, Mrs. Owens, you’re right. It would be easier for everyone if I rode home with my grandparents.”

Janet’s eyes bounced around the group before settling on her granddaughter. She seemed to give her a warning look before turning her attention back to my parents. “It was good seeing you, and I’m glad you’re feeling better, Jacob.”

My father tipped his cowboy hat at Janet before saying, “I’m a bit tired; we should be hitting the road.”

“Of course, of course,” Janet said, as she motioned for Logan to start making her way to the car.

“Good night, everyone!” Janet called out, as she turned and followed her.

“You lucked out with that one.”

Ensley’s voice came from behind me. I let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah. I believe I did.”

With a soft smile, Ensley said, “Goodnight, Colt.” Turning to my parents, she walked over and gave them each a kiss and hug goodbye before turning and walking away.

After helping my mother up into the truck, I shut the door and let out a sigh of relief. Once inside, Mom wasted no time telling me all about Logan Miller.

“She’s a mini version of her grandmother, a manipulative gossip queen. But this is the most important part—the girl is only twenty-one.”

I nodded. “I figured she was about that age.”

“Just be very careful around her. Levi Tucker had to fire her from his vet clinic because she did nothing but flirt with him inappropriately.”

“Who’s the gossip now?” I teased.

My father laughed in the back seat. “He’s got you there, darling.”

Mom huffed, then added, “I’m simply trying to let my son know to be careful with that girl. I’m sure she told her parents she had a ride home.”

“That much I gathered. I’m not completely ignorant about women, Mom.”

She glanced at me. “I guess not. I just want you to be very cautious. I don’t trust Logan as far as I can throw her.”

“Duly noted, and thank you for looking out for me.”

The rest of the drive was quiet…until my mother broke the silence again. “Ensley looked beautiful this evening.”

“She did,” I agreed.

“How are things between the two of you?”

I gripped the steering wheel tighter because I knew what was coming. My parents had been very silent about Ensley, and I’d been waiting for them to ask questions. It figured they’d wait until we were trapped in a car together. “Not so hot. She’s angry with me, as she should be.”

“What are you doing to fix it?” my father asked.

I glanced in the rearview mirror before saying, “We’re having lunch tomorrow in Granby.”

“That’s good!” my mother enthused.

All I could do was nod. I wasn’t sure how Ensley would take my explanation for the reason why I’d left town, but she deserved to know the truth. She was the only person I would ever tell. My mother and father could never know the reason.

“We’ll see.”

“You have to be positive, son.”

Nodding, I replied, “I will be, Dad. How did you both enjoy your night?”

“Well,” Mom said with a slight sigh, “I know a change of subject when I hear one.”

I laughed.

“I enjoyed myself,” Dad answered. “It was nice to get out of the house for a bit and eat something other than kale.”

Mom twisted to look at my father in the back seat, a grin stretched across her face. “I hate to break it to you, Jacob, but you ate kale this evening in the salad.”

He laughed. “I figured you’d sneak it in there somewhere.”

The rest of the drive home was filled with my mother telling us all about the new cookbook she’d ordered called The Book of Kale.

It ended up working out perfectly for me to meet Ensley in Granby for lunch the next day. A potential new client called early this morning, and I met with them beforehand. They’d recently moved to Granby from Texas and were looking for a farrier. Turns out they’d also met with Ensley last week, but wanted to make sure they’d checked out all their options. I told them they couldn’t go wrong picking either one of us.

The bell rang on the door as I walked into Bonnie’s Bake House. I wasn’t sure if Ensley was here already. I’d thought about texting the number I used to have for her, but ultimately didn’t know if she’d respond back.

Once inside, it didn’t take me long to find her. She was sitting in a booth, her head bent as she wrote in a notebook. I smiled as I walked toward her.

“I see you still prefer paper over the computer, like my dad.”

Looking up, she smiled slightly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “For my schedule, I do. You’re early.”

I slid into the booth. “You are, too.”

She shrugged. “I had a few errands to run, so I figured I’d do them this morning. And I have a client to visit in the area later this afternoon.”

I nodded. “Speaking of clients, I met with the Long family this morning.”

Her brows rose. “Really?”

The waitress walked up and set a glass of water down in front of me. “Anything else I can get you to drink?”

“I’ll have Dr. Pepper, please.”

The waitress nodded and looked at Ensley. “You still good, darlin’?”

“I am, thank you.”

“I’ll give you both a few minutes to look at the menu.”

Once she was gone, I focused on Ensley. “They were a nice family, but they did mention they’d met with you, as well. I get the feeling they’re leaning toward you.”

She leaned back in the booth. “Why do you say that?”

I shrugged. “I think Milinda liked you. She asked me if I knew the owner of Wilde Gait Keeper.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her I’d known you since we were young, and that I thought you were a very talented farrier.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a slight smile. “Thank you for that.”

Picking up the menu, I said, “It’s the truth.”

Ensley shut her notebook and pushed it to the side as the waitress came back with my drink. “Do we need more time?”

“If you know what you want, Ensley, please go ahead.”

Ensley picked up the menu and said, “I’ll take the hot turkey sandwich. Sweet potato fries. Do you still have that chipotle mayo?”

The waitress smiled. “We sure do.”

“I’ll take some of that, as well.”

It only took me a second to see that my favorite thing on the menu was still available. I glanced at the waitress—who I swore used to work here ten years ago. She was older, in her early fifties, with light brown hair streaked with gray. “I’ll have the smokehouse Reuben.”

“Side?”

“Sweet potato fries, as well.”

She took our menus and smiled. “I’ll get this in. Let me know if you need anything else.”

Once she was gone, I looked at Ensley, who was staring back with one brow raised.

“You know, they do have other things on the menu besides the Reuben, Colt.”

I smiled. “I love that sandwich.”

She chuckled, and it was nice to see her not shooting daggers at me for once. Too bad her friendly expression would be gone once we started talking.

Her smile slowly faded as she drew in a deep breath and exhaled. “So…where do we start?”

I sat back. “From the beginning.”

Lifting her brows, she asked, “The beginning? That’s going back a long, long time.”

My chest felt heavy, knowing I was about to revisit everything with my brother. Not to mention, my stomach was starting to feel sick. Maybe lunch wasn’t such a great idea.

“Not that beginning. The beginning of when we first started dating.”

She looked confused. “Okay…”

I slowly drew in a calming breath. “When I told Grady I was going to ask you out, he got very upset with me.”

A surprised look appeared on her beautiful face. “Why?”

“He accused me of trying to take you away from him.”

Ensley slowly shook her head. “But we were just friends. There was never anything romantic between us.”

“He thought that by us dating, you wouldn’t be hanging out with him as much. He said I was jealous of your friendship, and that was the only reason I was asking you out.”

“Was that true?”

I drew back as if she’d slapped me. “Of course it wasn’t true, Ensley. I’d liked you for as long as I could remember. Was I jealous of your relationship with my brother? I don’t think so. I might have envied him because he got to be around you so much, but I was never jealous.”

“He never told me any of this.”

“I’m not surprised because we worked it out. But I won’t lie and say that things between us weren’t…different after that. I did ask if he had deeper feelings than friendship for you, and he said no. But a small part of me always thought maybe he did, and that was why he was so angry with me.”

“Colt, I swear, Grady never once made it seem like he wanted anything more than friendship.”

“Maybe that was because he knew you didn’t want anything other than friendship.”

She chewed on her lower lip.

“Anyway, after about a year of us dating, things were pretty much back to normal between Grady and me. He seemed to be totally okay with our relationship, and I didn’t think twice about it again. Then, a week before he took his own life, we were in the barn together. He was bitching about our dad pressing him to get more involved with the business. Grady didn’t share much about his dreams with me, but one thing I knew without a doubt was that he didn’t want to be a farrier.”

Ensley nodded. “He didn’t. He wanted to be a pilot.”

I smiled. “He was taking flying lessons, but he didn’t know that I knew. My mom and dad didn’t know, but I did. For as long as I can remember he would tell me he was saving every dime he made hauling hay and whatever other ranch work he could pick up.”

“Did you know he wanted to be a pilot?”

Nodding, I replied, “Yeah. I did. When he was little, I think around five, he used to play with his planes and tell us about all the places he’d go once he grew up and could fly his own plane. My father thought it was cute…for a few years. But as Grady got older, I think Dad realized he actually might leave to pursue something else. He pushed him harder than I think he should have to be a farrier. Made Grady feel guilty for wanting something other than what our father wanted for him. It was a constant argument between them—and between Dad and me. I’d ask him to lay off, and he’d get angry with me. He wanted Grady to follow in his footsteps, and I just wanted Grady to be happy. I knew being a farrier would never make him happy.”

“Grady never told me any of this. I never realized Jacob pressured him so much.”

I sighed. “I don’t think my father realized it, either.”

Ensley’s eyes filled with sadness. “Do you think that’s why he…”

Tears pricked the back of my eyes, and I had to really concentrate on keeping them at bay.

“I don’t… I don’t know for sure. It’s the one thing that will haunt me until the day I die. I can’t ever know exactly why he took his own life, but…”

We sat in silence for a few moments.

Then Ensley frowned. “That doesn’t explain why you left.”

I felt an instant headache coming on. I reached for my drink and downed half of it. When I set it on the table, I looked into her eyes.

“A couple days before he took his own life, I told him I was going to ask you to marry me. I showed him the ring, and because he was your best friend, I asked for his blessing.”

Ensley sat there, eyes blinking rapidly, but she didn’t say a word.

Clearing my throat, I went on. “He seemed happy for me…for us. He gave me his blessing and told me if I ever hurt you, he’d kill me, brother or not.”

The corner of her mouth twitched with a slight smile.

“Everything seemed fine. He seemed fine. He wasn’t upset or angry…I thought he was happy for us.”

Ensley reached across the table and took my hand. “Oh God, Colt. You don’t honestly believe he took his life because you were going to ask me to marry you?”

I looked up and felt a tear slip free. “I think my brother was secretly in love with you all those years, Ensley. And I think when I told him that I was going to marry you, he…”

My voice trailed off.

Now she took my other hand. “Listen to me, Colt—your brother did not kill himself because you were going to ask me to marry you. He didn’t love me in that way.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because he was my best friend, other than you. I knew him better than anyone, and he wasn’t in love with me. He—”

I shook my head. “Ensley, a few days before he took his life, I told him I was going to ask you to marry me. Then I heard him and my father talking in the barn. More like fighting, actually. Grady told Dad he was going to leave for a few months and travel around. See places he’d always dreamed of seeing. I didn’t see a problem with it, but Dad got angry, asked him why he couldn’t be more like me. Said his place was working alongside me, taking over the business our father had built.

“Grady blew up and started yelling at our father. He told him he was sick of being compared to me, and if I was already everything Dad ever imagined in a perfect son, why couldn’t he just be happy with me taking over the business, marrying you, and leaving Grady alone to enjoy his life the way he wanted? My father, of course, told him that he loved both of us the same, he just couldn’t understand why Grady wanted to leave so badly.

“I thought maybe he’d finally tell my father about the flying lessons, but he didn’t. Instead…he gave in and said he’d help with the family business. He was going to give up his dreams because he didn’t want to disappoint our father.”

“So how does that make you the reason he killed himself?”

“Because to this day, I think his sudden desire to leave and travel the world was because he couldn’t stand the idea of us getting married. And after that fight with Dad, it was like I was taking everything away from him. You, his freedom to travel, his ability to choose his own future. I couldn’t live with that, Ensley.

“I knew how much you needed me, and I knew my parents needed me after Grady’s death. But knowing I’d most likely had something to do with him taking his own life…I couldn’t stay. I had to leave. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of guilt. Everywhere I looked, I saw him. And all that did was remind me about how my father constantly compared the two of us. How I’d taken his best friend, and possibly the woman he loved, away from him.

“I had to get my head straight. I also knew if you or my parents found out I might be the reason he’d committed suicide, you’d never forgive me. So…I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I left. I was so fucking lost and scared. I was so angry, most days I thought I was losing my mind. And I told myself I’d only be gone for a couple of months. Just until I could figure out a way to tell you. To tell my parents. But I was such a coward, Ensley. Everything my brother thought I was…I was actually the opposite.

“I felt desperate to make some kind of amends. I decided I’d live the life Grady never got to live, minus flying the planes. At least until I could figure out how to tell you what happened.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell me you needed some time? I would have understood, Colt. You had just lost your brother.”

I shook my head. “Looking back now, of course I know that’s what I should have done…but in that moment, I was grieving and guilt-ridden. The emotions were so overwhelming that the only thing I could think of every day was, how can I run away far enough, fast enough? How could I escape the memories and the knowledge that I was the reason my brother took his own life?”

Tears filled her eyes. “Colt.”

I held up a hand. “Let me finish.”

She nodded.

“I gave myself three months, then I’d come back home and face the truth. But three months turned into six. Six months turned into a year. I kept waiting for all the feelings to ease. For some kind of clarity. Instead, I just became…numb. The grief and guilt overtook my life until literally nothing mattered anymore. I didn’t even care if I died.”

She sucked in a breath and covered her mouth with her hand.

“I couldn’t bring myself to come back home, so I just kept running. I convinced myself that I was worthless to you. That you’d be happier and better off without me. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could handle coming home. Seeing his room, knowing I was likely the cause of his death.”

Before Ensley could say anything, the waitress walked up with our food. She set it down, and I just stared at it, unable to endure even the smell. My stomach felt like I was about to lose my breakfast from hours earlier.

“Does everything look good? Anything else you need?” the waitress asked, a concerned expression on her face.

When I didn’t say anything, Ensley cleared her throat. “No, we’re good. Thank you.”

Pushing her sandwich to the side, Ensley stared at me. I was about to say something when she spoke first.

“You complete and utter ass. I cannot believe how stupid you are.”

I blinked a few times. “I’m sorry?”

“You arrogant son of a bitch. How dare you sit there and tell me you’re the reason Grady took his life! You couldn’t live with yourself, so you left, not caring that the rest of us had to stay here with all the reminders and memories. You don’t think that we might have felt guilty, as well? Think about your father, arguing with Grady days before he took his life. How about your mother, who kept telling herself she should have realized something was wrong. All she said for months was that she was Grady’s mother, and she should have known.

“You didn’t stop to think that maybe I felt guilty? He was my best friend. We told each other everything. Everything! Do you have any idea of the guilt I’ve lived with that I had no idea he was suffering? Then, on top of all of that, you casually mention you were going to ask me to marry you? You fucking…fucker!”

I sat in stunned silence as Ensley glared at me. I pushed my sandwich away, as well. I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it again.

“Do you see what I’m getting at, Colt? You’re not the only one who felt guilty. Who felt grief. Who felt like you’d let Grady down. Do I believe it had something to do with you telling him you were going to ask me to marry you? No. You asked how I could be sure, and I said because I knew him better than anyone. Then you didn’t let me finish. Colt—Grady was in love with someone. And it wasn’t me.”

My eyes widened. “Who was it?”

She leaned back against the booth and sighed. “His flying instructor. They’d talked about flying around the world together. She was a bit older than him, but he insisted they were in love.”

It was my turn to lean back against the booth. “What?”

Ensley nodded. “He was head over heels for her but terrified to tell your parents because she was twenty-seven.”

I slowly shook my head. “He never mentioned anything to me about that. If he was so in love, then why would he…” My words trailed into silence.

Ensley’s expression was filled with grief. “I’m sure that’s a question his instructor still asks herself every day.”

I scrubbed my hands down my face. “Holy fuck.”

“Do you see why talking is so important, Colt? God…if you’d just met me for breakfast that morning, I was going to tell you about that woman. I hadn’t been able to before because we were never alone long enough.”

I lifted my eyes and met her gaze. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Finally, we agree on something.”

Ensley

Anger. Frustration. Sadness.

All the emotions were tumbling around in my body so fast, I felt dizzy. The sadness I felt for the man sitting across from me was almost unbearable. He’d thought for ten long years that he was the reason his brother took his life.

Then, of course, there was the anger. I wanted to reach across the table and slap the shit out of him. How could he think I wouldn’t have understood his feelings? It was mind-boggling.

“Did you honestly not trust me enough to come to me with your concerns, Colt?”

He slowly shook his head. “I wasn’t myself, Pippa. It felt like the entire world was crashing down on me, and I was so scared.”

I knew he was right. The grief I’d felt at the time was almost unbearable, so I knew his had to be tenfold. Then, add in the fact that he thought it was his fault.

“You have no idea how much I would like to punch you right now. For ten years, you wasted your life running from a ghost for no reason. And I wasted ten years on a man who was nothing but a coward.”

“What do you mean, you wasted ten years?”

Leaning forward, I said, “I never stopped loving you, Colt. I couldn’t move on because of you. I’ve wanted nothing more than to marry and have a family. But every man I tried to move on with…I couldn’t. And do you know why? Because he wasn’t you. Even though I hate you, I still love you. Now you tell me the reason you stayed away is misplaced guilt? I could just…ugh! I could scream right now.”

“I never stopped loving you either, Pip—”

Pointing at him, I said, “If you call me Pippa one more time, that will literally be the final straw and I will hit you.”

Colt closed his eyes. “I fucked up so much and hurt so many people.”

“You think?” I bit back.

When he opened his eyes, I tried not to let the sadness in them make me soft. Yes, a part of me understood how he must have felt, but the other part of me was just so furious.

“I’m so mad.” My voice cracked, and that pissed me off even more.

Colt slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Ensley. I hope you know that at the time, I thought I was doing what was the best for everyone.”

“No, you thought it was the best for you, Colt. Let’s at least be honest about that.”

The waitress appeared and looked down at our plates. “Is something wrong with your food?”

Colt and I both looked at the untouched sandwiches.

“No, everything’s great. We were just in a deep conversation, that’s all,” I replied with a tight smile.

Her face visibly relaxed. “Oh, okay. Is there anything else you need?”

“No, thanks, we’re good,” I added.

Once she walked away, I looked back down at my sandwich. “I don’t think I can eat now.”

Colt wore a stricken expression. “His room hasn’t been touched in ten years.”

My eyes widened. “Grady’s?”

He nodded. “I don’t think my mother or father has even set foot inside. I walked in there last night, and it’s like a fucking shrine to him. The dust alone tells me no one has been in there in a very long time.”

My heart broke.

“Do you think I should talk to them about cleaning it out?”

I drew in a breath and exhaled. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s probably way past time, but I don’t know how your parents would feel about it.”

We sat in silence for a bit as Colt slowly spun his plate of food in a circle. “I wish I knew what to do. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose your child. Then to have your other child just up and leave you. I’m such a fucking asshole.”

“I won’t argue with you on that.”

He didn’t look up, just kept staring at the plate. Despite my anger, I couldn’t stand to see him like this.

“Why don’t you stop by my parents’ place tonight. I’m having dinner with them, and maybe you can talk to them about it, get their take.”

His eyes darted up to meet mine. “You want me to have dinner with you and your parents?”

I pressed my lips together in a tight line. “Not really, but I do want to help you navigate this, and if that means sitting at my family dinner table with you, then I’ll suffer through it.”

The corner of his mouth twitched with a sad smile. “Shouldn’t you ask your parents first if I can join you?”

Pulling out my phone, I fired off a text to my mother. Within seconds, I got the reply.

Mom: Of course, Colt can join us for dinner. We’re having your favorite, tacos!

When I turned the phone so he could read the message, his grin was more genuine. “What time should I be there?”

My grin was a bit more wry. “Same time as always.”

“Six?”

Nodding, I turned and motioned for the waitress. Once she walked over, I asked, “May we please get to-go boxes? And he’ll take care of the check.”

He chuckled.

Smiling, she replied, “Yes, of course.”

Once she walked away, I focused back on Colt. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He reached for my hand as I started to slide out of the booth. “You don’t want your sandwich?”

“My appetite is gone. Throw it away or take it home with you.”

Colt let go of my hand. Before I walked away, I turned to face him. “Thank you for telling me why you left.”

He gave a slight nod.

Turning, I quickly made my way out of the café. I was laser-focused on my truck, parked just down from the restaurant. The moment I got in, I started it, drew in a few deep breaths, and closed my eyes.

“Hey, sis!”

I turned and looked over my shoulder to see Caden walking into the barn. “Hey, what are you doing over here?”

He faked a hurt expression. “I can’t come see my favorite sister?”

Laughing, I pointed the brush at him and said, “If Emeline hears you, you’ll be banned from this barn.”

“It’ll be our secret.”

Standing, I eyed my older brother and asked, “Why are you really here, Caden?”

He winked. “Straight to the point, like always. I was talking to Dad, and he mentioned you and Colt were having dinner with them tonight.”

“Wow,” I said, my brows raising. “News travels fast in the Wilde clan.”

Smiling, he said, “Always has, always will.”

“Colt is coming to dinner to talk to Mom and Dad to get their advice. He and I are not going together.”

Now his brows rose. “So, you haven’t patched things up?”

“No. But I’m not as angry with him as I was before. Well…actually, I am, but for a different reason now.”

“That’s good, right?”

I nodded and huffed a laugh. “I guess so.”

Caden leaned against a pole. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I’d gone back to brushing the horse, but I paused again.

Did I want to talk about it with someone?

“I’m not sure. I spent the last ten years thinking Colt left because he didn’t love me, and it turns out that isn’t the case.”

“He still loves you?”

I blew out a breath. “He says he does.”

“And do you still love him?”

Sighing, I said, “God, Caden. I feel like such a hypocrite for all the times I told you that you needed to move on from Rachel, and here I’ve been, stuck in the past and in love with a man I thought didn’t love me.”

He pushed off the pole and walked toward me. He picked up another brush and moved to the other side of the mare and started helping.

“You’re not going to get any judgment from me, Ensley.”

“I’m just so confused. A part of me doesn’t want to forgive him, but once he told me why he left, my heart broke for him. I’m still pissed because his excuse was just… I don’t know.”

“I’m sure it was a hard time for him. He’d just lost his brother to suicide. I imagine, just like you did, he blamed himself for not knowing anything was wrong.”

“That’s just it, though. He truly thought he was the one who’d caused Grady to take his own life. He told Grady he was going to ask me to marry him. In Colt’s mind, that sent Grady over the edge.”

Caden drew back in surprise. “What? Why would he think that?”

I told my brother the whole story, including what happened when Colt first told Grady he was going to ask me out, and how my friend had reacted.

I sighed. “It wasn’t because Grady was in love with me, that much I know. But of course, Colt was convinced he was. I get the impression he always had it in the back of his mind that Grady wanted to be more than friends. It wasn’t true, Caden. He loved me like a sister, and I loved him like a brother.”

“I know. He’d told me once himself he thought of you as the sister he never had.”

I smiled. “Well, the problem was, Grady never talked to Colt about anything. Colt had no idea Grady was in love with his flying instructor. He did know that Grady wanted to travel and that he was taking flying lessons, but that was it. Grady never told him he wanted to be a pilot.”

“Damn. Why do you think that is?”

I shrugged. “Maybe he was worried Colt would be upset with him. But I know Colt; he would’ve only wanted Grady to be happy. If that meant leaving River Falls and finding his passion for flying, then Colt would have supported him a hundred percent. Or maybe it was because of their dad.” When Caden gave me a look, I explained, “Unfortunately, I learned today that their dad used to compare them a bit. I think that could have made Grady feel inferior. As a result, maybe he wasn’t comfortable sharing things with Colt.”

Caden didn’t speak for a few moments. Then he softly said, “I just don’t understand why he never left anything behind. At least something for his parents, to explain why.”

Sighing, I replied, “I know. Anyway, Colt told me he went into Grady’s room, and it hasn’t been touched since his death. He said it was like a shrine. There was dust on the furniture, and he’s not even sure if his mother or father have been in the room in the last ten years.”

Caden’s eyes widened in shock. “Holy cow.”

“He’s not sure if he should approach them about it. So I thought he could talk to Mom and Dad, try to get advice on what to do. I mean, how can any of them move on if they’re still hanging on so tightly?”

He nodded. “I agree. It was nice of you to invite him over for dinner, especially if you’re going to be there.”

I chewed on my lower lip. “I admit, I wanted an excuse to see him again. I keep going from wanting to punch his lights out to wanting to hold him in my arms. It’s really fucking frustrating.”

Caden chuckled. “I’m sure it is. Let me ask you something, Ensley.”

I was positive I had a worried expression on my face. “Am I going to like this question?”

He winked. “Probably not.”

I rolled my eyes. “Ask away.”

“Can you see yourself forgiving Colt? Possibly even trying to make a go of it again?”

I let Caden’s question sink in for a bit, truly thinking about it. “Can I be friends with him? Yes. I think that’s an easy answer. Would I be able to watch him move on with another woman?” I shook my head. “I honestly don’t think so.”

“Could you move on?”

“I’ve tried, and I haven’t been very successful so far. I was at the point where I was going to look into either adoption or in vitro.”

His brows shot up. “You’d do that alone?”

“All I’ve ever wanted was a baby. Ideally, I’d love to be married and start a family, but I feel like time is slipping through my fingers.”

Caden stared at me like I’d grown horns from my head before he finally said, “You’re only thirty, Ensley. You act like you’re on death’s door.”

“I know, I know. Emeline and Lilibeth have said the same thing to me. But seeing you and Emeline with your babies…it’s only made me want one of my own even more. I love my career and don’t want to give it up, but I also want a family. And ever since seeing Colt again, I realize that I want…” My voice trailed off, and I dropped my forehead to the neck of the mare.

Caden moved around and took me into his arms. I fought to keep my tears at bay.

“You realized you want that family with Colt?”

I sniffled. “Yes.” Drawing back to look up at him, I asked, “Do you think that makes me a fool?”

“What? No! Listen, I get that the guy broke your heart, and I won’t lie and say the moment I saw him, I didn’t want to punch his lights out. But I also see the way he looks at you, Ensley. He still cares about you. Did he mess up by leaving the way he did? Yes. But was he also young, scared, and grieving? Absolutely. I think he made a mistake, and by the time he realized what he’d done, he probably didn’t know how to fix it. If you ask me…I think you guys should try to start over. Because I think you’re both just as much in love with each other now as you were when he left River Falls.”

“Start over?”

“Yeah. Mom and Dad gave me great advice when it came to my relationship with Lilibeth. They told me to date her. At the time, I laughed, because she was already living with me and pregnant. But it turned out to be the best advice they ever gave me. Maybe that’s what you and Colt need to do. Go slow. Date…get to know each other again and see where that takes you. I’m not saying you have to forget what he did. But maybe what you need to do to start healing yourself is to forgive. And Colt needs to forgive himself, as well.”

I stared at him for a long moment. “Jesus, what did you do with my brother Caden?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Right? It’s like I’m this totally new person lately. Fatherhood changed me, I swear.”

I smiled as I stretched to kiss him on the cheek. “Finding your true love did, as well, I’m sure of it. It all looks good on you, Caden.”

Smiling, he replied, “It feels good.”

“Thank you for the advice.”

“Of course. I’m always here for you, sis. And if you do decide that Colt needs to learn a bit of a lesson, you know Gatlin and I are ready and waiting.”

It was my turn to laugh. “I’ll remember that.”

He drew me back into his arms and hugged me again. “I love you, Ensley.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I held him a bit tighter. “I love you, too, Caden.”

Colt

By the time I pulled up and parked behind Ensley’s truck at the Wildes’ house, my nerves had settled down a bit. Not all the way, but I no longer felt sick to my stomach.

Yes, Ladd and Vivianne had both been friendly toward me, but only in public. Now I was having dinner at their house, and I wouldn’t blame them if they gave me a piece of their mind about leaving their daughter.

Dropping my head back against the seat, I closed my eyes and drew in a few deep breaths.

The sudden knock on my window made me shriek like a damn girl.

Whipping my head around, I saw Ensley with a hand over her mouth, attempting not to laugh.

I opened my truck door and slid out as she took a few steps back, still struggling not to bust a gut.

“You scared the shit out of me, Pippa.”

She dropped her hand, and I was expecting her to blast me for using her nickname. Instead, she finally let a giggle escape. Fuck if it didn’t send a wave of happiness through my entire body. It felt like a small part of me healed from that giggle alone.

“I’m so sorry. But why were you just sitting in the truck?”

I pushed my fingers through my hair. Ensley followed the movement with her eyes.

“I was mentally preparing myself.”

Confused, she asked, “For dinner?”

I let out a huff of laughter. “For dinner with your mother and father, as well as you. A part of me thinks this is all a plan to get me into your father’s house so he can beat the hell out of me.”

She drew back and frowned. “You think my father would hurt you?”

“If I were your father, I’d want to throttle me. So, yes.”

Another smile appeared, and it was damn nice to see that instead of a frown or dirty look. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled. “My father isn’t going to throttle you, Colt. Maybe ten years ago he would have, especially since I spent days in their bed, crying.”

An instant stabbing pain hit my chest, and I closed my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Pippa.”

My eyes snapped open when she took my hands in hers. The skin-to-skin contact felt like pure heaven. “It’s in the past, and I…I think for both of our sakes, we should move on.”

It was my turn to be confused. “You do?”

She nodded. “Yes.” Another deep breath. “I know you said that you still loved me—”

“I do,” I quickly interjected. “I never stopped.”

The corner of her mouth twitched in an almost-smile. “And I already told you that I was still in love with you. So Caden had a suggestion for us earlier today.”

Intrigued, I asked, “What was it?”

She swallowed hard. “It’s just a suggestion…”

I nodded, willing her to hurry up and say it. “I’m not going to lie, if Caden told me to die my hair rainbow-colored and dance naked on Main Street to get you back, I’d already be on the phone booking my hair appointment.”

“It’s not that outrageous, Colt. He just thinks we should start over.”

“Start over how?”

She looked down at the ground and kicked at nothing. “He thinks we should date. Like, from the beginning.”

I fought the urge to jump back into my truck and drive to Caden’s house. I’d never in my life wanted to hug a dude, but damn it all to hell if I didn’t want to hug Caden Wilde at this very moment.

Forcing myself to stay calm, I replied, “I like that idea.”

Her head snapped up, and she did smile this time. “You do?”

I nodded and tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Yeah. I like it a lot.”

She bit her lower lip, and it took every ounce of strength I had not to kiss her.

Poking her finger into my chest, she said, “I’m still mad at you, though. Don’t forget that.”

I held up my hands. “I won’t, I promise.”

A little smirk appeared, and fuck if I didn’t want to kiss her again.

“Okay, well, my mom and dad are probably peeking out the window watching us.”

I laughed. “Reminds me of old times.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” she laughed. “Ready?”

Nodding, I replied, “It’s now or never.”

We’d started to head toward the front porch when Ensley stopped again, turning to face me. “I will say this—you’d better make our first date as romantic as Caden did for Lilibeth.”

I blinked a few times. “Wait, what does that mean? I have no idea what he did though.”

She gave a one-shoulder shrug. “That’s a you problem.”

Turning on the heel of her boot, she marched up the steps to her parents’ house and walked inside. I jogged up the steps and followed. My heart was racing, and I wasn’t sure if it was from excitement or fear.

Once inside, I drew in a deep breath and moaned. “Oh my gosh, please tell me your mother made her meatballs.”

Ensley glanced over her shoulder as she took her coat off and hung it up. She reached for mine as she said, “Do you really think my mother would make your favorite meal? She said she was making tacos—my favorite meal.”

I shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for wishful thinking.”

“You’re both here!” Vivianne said, as she walked into the living room, first hugging her daughter, then me.

She pushed me back and gave me a once-over. “I made your favorite—meatball subs.”

I looked over Vivianne’s head to see Ensley standing there with her mouth open in shock. I smiled at Vivianne. “I thought I smelled them!”

Wrapping her arm around mine, she guided us through the living room and into the kitchen. As we passed Ensley, I shot her a smirk, and swore I heard her growl.

Once in the kitchen, I spotted her father, preparing a salad. “Hey, Colt.”

“How’s it going, Mr. Wilde?”

He laughed. “Just call me Ladd. My father is Mr. Wilde.”

Ensley made her way into the kitchen and kissed her father on the cheek, then looked down at the salad. “What’s this?”

Looking at the bowl in front of him, then back to his daughter, he said, “A salad.”

With a shake of her head, Ensley put her hands on her hips. “No, that’s Colt’s favorite salad.”

Vivianne laughed. “I make that salad all the time. You love it, Ensley.”

When Ensley looked my way, I raised my brows.

“I like the air-fried garbanzo beans, that’s it.”

Vivianne reached into the refrigerator and took out salad dressing. “You request this salad constantly, sweetheart.”

Ensley glared at her mother. “Mother…I do not.”

Vivianne looked from Ensley to me, then back to her daughter. “Ohhh…I see what’s going on here. That’s right, dear. You do not request this salad all the time, nor do you ask me to make meatballs when you’re feeling blue.”

Ensley blushed, then threw her hands up in the air.

I blinked a few times and looked at Ladd. I must have had a pleading expression on my face because he held up both hands. “Don’t look at me for advice, I’ve got none for you.”

Focusing back on Ensley, I opened my mouth to speak, but she shoved her finger into my chest. “You make me so angry, I want to just punch you!”

“Okay.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Okay? Okay what?”

“Punch me.”

“Ahhh…I’d like to remind you who it is you’re talking to there, Colt. Do you remember when she punched Gatlin and broke his nose?” Ladd said.

“He had two black eyes for weeks,” Vivianne added.

Ensley glared at her parents. “You two hush!” Turning back to me, she drew in a breath and held it.

I closed my eyes—and when nothing happened, I peeked open one eye to see Ensley staring at me.

“If you’re going to hit me, just do it.”

“Not in my house will there be any violence tonight,” Vivianne stated, as if this was a normal, everyday occurrence.

It took me a second to realize Ensley’s attention was focused on my right hand. When I looked down, I saw the bracelet she’d made for me shortly after we started dating. It had been on my wrist for nearly twelve years. I’d never taken it off.

Her eyes snapped back up to mine. “I didn’t notice that earlier today at lunch.”

I held up my wrist. The bracelet had seen better days. “I had on a long-sleeved shirt.”

She swallowed hard and reached for my hand. Her finger ran over the bracelet she’d lovingly made so many years ago. “You’re still wearing it.”

“Of course I am. The only way it’s ever leaving my wrist is if it falls off.”

Those beautiful baby blues looked up at me, wetness building before she quickly blinked it away. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

We were soon lost in each other’s eyes, and just as she leaned closer to me, and I leaned closer to her, Ladd’s throat cleared, snapping us both from our trance.

I quickly looked up and asked, “Do you need me to help with anything?”

Vivianne was smiling, and Ladd was attempting not to, but failing.

Finally, Vivianne said, “The salad’s done and so are the meatballs. I’m just going to pop the sandwich rolls into the oven to warm them up.”

“Would you like to eat in here or the dining room?” Ladd asked.

“The dining room,” Ensley said quickly, as she reached into a cabinet and pulled out some plates, handing them to her mother. For a moment, it felt like nothing had changed. I’d come over to the Wildes’ plenty of times for dinner in the past and had always been treated like one of the family.

“Silverware still in the same spot?” I asked.

“Sure is!” Vivianne replied, as she slid the rolls into the oven.

Ensley followed me into the dining room with napkins and we set the table in silence. When I took a moment to look at her, she was frowning.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

She set the last napkin down and faced me. “You never took it off?”

I held up my wrist and smiled. “I would’ve had to cut it off, and that was something I’d never do. I cherish it.”

“Cherish it?” Her head tilted, and though she had a slightly skeptical tone, a soft smile stretched her lips.

“Of course I do, Pip. You made me this.”

She started to chew on her lower lip, and I swore she wanted to ask something else. Instead, she cleared her throat and said, “We should go back to the kitchen and help grab stuff.”

Vivianne was just placing mozzarella cheese over the meatballs, and my mouth started to water. No one could make meatballs like Vivianne Wilde.

“My father would kill to have some of these meatballs,” I said with a laugh.

Ladd handed me two plates with sandwiches. “He’s in kale hell, I’m sure.”

It took everything I had not to laugh once again. Instead, I carried the two plates into the dining room and set them down. One in my spot, one in Ensley’s. We all sat and quickly fell into an easy conversation. Ladd asked about my travels, and at first I thought it would bother Ensley to hear, but she soon started asking questions, as well.

“What made you end up in Canada?” Vivianne asked.

“The main reason is because Grady had always wanted to go. Once I visited Banff, I fell in love. It reminds me a lot of River Falls, so I’m sure that was part of the allure. I actually thought I’d head home after that trip, but I found work on a ranch, and time just sort of slipped by.”

Ladd and Vivianne both nodded, as Ensley focused on the meatball that had fallen out of her sub. She was cutting it into pieces with her fork.

“Well,” Ladd eventually said, “I’m pretty sure Ensley didn’t invite you over for old times’ sake.”

Ensley’s head popped up in surprise. “Dad!”

Ladd shrugged. “What? I’m just being honest.”

I smiled as I wiped the corners of my mouth. “No, you’re right. Ensley suggested I get your advice on something.”

Ladd and Vivianne both gave me their full attention.

“My mother and father haven’t touched Grady’s room. And by that, I mean, it’s like a shrine. Not a single thing is out of place, and I’m pretty sure they hardly ever go in the room. If they do, it’s probably just to step inside and look around. It seems like it hasn’t been dusted in months, if not years.”

Vivianne set down her fork. “Have you talked to them about it?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know how to bring it up.”

“Do they talk about Grady at all?” Ladd asked.

“They did in the beginning, in our calls after I left, but they slowly stopped mentioning anything to do with him. Since I’ve been home, I brought him up once, hoping to talk to them about why I left, but my mother shut down the conversation before it could barely get started.”

“Maybe with your father’s heart attack and you recently coming home, it was a bit too much for her?” Ensley suggested.

Vivianne nodded. “I agree with Ensley, but I don’t think you should let it go. It’s important to keep Grady’s memory alive, and the only way to do that is to talk about him. If I were to hazard a guess…you left because you felt like you should have been able to stop your brother from doing what he did…and maybe you even think you did something to cause it?”

I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. “Yes, on both counts.”

“Son, I’m going to tell you what I told Ensley: no matter how much we love someone and think we know them, people harbor secrets. We can’t always see when someone is suffering. As much as we want to think we should have seen it, sometimes we simply cannot.” Ladd held my gaze intently. “The only thing guilt can do to a person is eat them alive. You have to learn to let go, and a good place to start is your brother’s room. Has anyone ever looked in the room for…anything he may have left behind?”

“I did,” Ensley softly said. “I didn’t see anything, but I’ll admit that I didn’t open drawers and such. I figured if he’d left a note, it would be out in the open.”

Vivianne and Ladd both nodded.

All I could do was stare at my plate. My throat suddenly felt like it was closing up, and my tongue was dry and thick.

“If you’re looking for advice on how to talk to your parents about Grady’s room, first…what do you hope to do with his things?” Vivianne asked.

I glanced at Ensley, then back to her mother. “I think it should be packed up. If my parents want to keep his things, then I won’t argue with that, but I think the room needs…I think it needs…” My voice trailed off.

Ensley quickly picked up where I left off. “I think what Colt is trying to say is that in order for him and his parents to move on and deal with the loss of Grady, they need to deal with—and maybe let go of—his possessions.”

Ladd nodded. “I agree.”

“Colt,” Vivianne said, with a soft expression on her face. “Would you like it if Ladd and I were there with you when you speak to your parents?”

I thought about it for a moment, then shook my head. “Thank you, but I think it should be a private matter. I’m not sure how my mother will feel about me suggesting it, and if you were there, she might think I was bringing in reinforcements or ganging up on her.”

“What about me?” Ensley asked. “I could help you pack up Grady’s things.”

Surprised by her offer, I said, “You would do that?”

“Of course I would. If I’d known his room was still untouched, I would have offered to do it long ago. I guess I just assumed Lynn and Jacob had already done it.”

I nodded. “I’m not going to lie, I was pretty shocked to see his room untouched ten years later.” Glancing at Ladd and Vivianne, I asked, “Do you think, as parents yourself, that I should even be addressing this with my parents? I mean, it is their house, and Grady was their son. Maybe they want the room to stay as it is.”

Vivianne, who was sitting across from me, stretched out her hand, and I took it. She gently squeezed it as she spoke. “If no one is going into the room, then I can’t see how it would be a comfort to either of them. But then again, maybe just knowing all of his things are still there is a comfort. Or the simple fact of the matter is that they can’t bring themselves to pack it up. Everyone grieves so differently, Colt. I honestly don’t know how I’d feel if it were one of my children.”

She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them again.

“It has to be one of the worst kinds of pains. But I do think that you need to talk to them about it. If nothing else, it will open up dialogue about Grady. You shouldn’t feel as if you can’t talk about him.”

I closed my eyes and cursed. Another thing to add to the pile of shit I’d caused by leaving. “This is my fault. If I’d just stayed, or come back home sooner, I could have taken care of the room for them.”

“You have to stop blaming yourself for everything that’s happened since your brother’s death, Colt,” Ladd said. “Sometimes in life, we do things we think are right at the time. It’s no good to anyone, especially you, to keep beating yourself up over something you couldn’t have controlled and decisions you can’t go back and change. You also need to remember you were twenty-one years old when you lost your brother. You were young, hurting and confused. You have to give yourself some grace.” He glanced at Ensley. “We all need to offer grace in times like that.”

I felt a prickling sensation behind my eyes, and closed them. How was it that Grady had been gone for ten years, yet it suddenly felt as if it had happened only yesterday? All those years of me running and hiding, and for what? To leave behind everyone I ever loved and waste years without Ensley.

I suddenly felt exhausted. Maybe this was the reason I’d stayed away as long as I had. There were no answers, or at least none that I could think of, to help me figure all this shit out.

“Colt?”

Ensley’s voice caused me to open my eyes and meet her gaze. She was sitting next to her mother, with her father on her left, at the head of the table.

When my eyes met hers, she quickly stood. I wasn’t sure why until she walked around the table and stood next to me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. My voice sounded utterly defeated.

Reaching out, she gently swept her thumb across my cheek. It was only then that I realized I’d been crying.

Stepping closer, leaning her forehead against mine, she softly whispered, “I love you.”

And suddenly, it was as if the darkness that had been hovering over me for the last ten years lifted, and I could feel the sun on my face again.

Ensley

The second I saw the tears on Colt’s face, my heart broke in a way I’d never experienced before in my life.

He looked drained, and he sounded like he was ready to simply give up. Ten years of running away were catching up to him now that he was home. And I wasn’t making it any easier on him.

It was as if my heart had firmly taken control when I stood and walked around the table. He needed me, and that was all I cared about.

After wiping his tears away and telling him I loved him, I sat down in the chair next to him, both of us just staring at one another.

“It’s a beautiful evening. Why don’t the two of you go sit on the front porch? You light the heaters, Colt. We’ll clean up and join you both in a few with some hot chocolate.”

I looked at my mother and smiled. “Are you sure?”

She stood, as did my father. “I’m positive. We’ve got this.”

Taking Colt’s hand in mine, I urged him to get up. He did, and started to grab his plate when my father said, “Leave it, Colt.”

I laced my fingers with his and tried to ignore the way his touch heated my entire body. No man had ever made me feel the way Colt Owens did. I doubted anyone else ever would, and I vowed I’d no longer try to find out.

We walked through the house to the front door. I grabbed a blanket and tucked it under my arm before heading out onto the porch and over to the swing, while Colt lit the heater. The number of times Colt and I had sat on this swing was more than I could count. Then, once I’d moved into my little cabin—where I still lived now—we’d sit on my own front porch and watch the sunset. It was my favorite time of day.

Once we sat, Colt stared at the pink and orange clouds that hung low over the western horizon. He’d absentmindedly started to push the swing with his legs as I tucked mine under me, before draping the blanket over us. I could already feel the warmth from the heater moving around us.

“I knew about six days after I left that I’d fucked up in a major way. That it was a mistake that could cost me everything…and I was right.”

I turned and looked at him as he kept his gaze on the sky.

“I picked up my phone to call you so many times, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d absolutely convinced myself I was the reason Grady took his life. Whether it had to do with you or with my father’s constant comparisons between us, I knew it was because of me. I truly don’t think my father meant any harm; he simply couldn’t comprehend why Grady wouldn’t want a life here in River Falls. The life my dad had always wanted. The same one I wanted. I should have spoken up more for him.” He glanced at me. “I did try to talk to my father about Grady.”

I took his hand in mine. “I know you did, Colt.”

Looking back out over the landscape, he went on. “I love my father, but he couldn’t see past his own dreams for his sons. There was a time after I left when I was so angry with him. I mean, I was pissed off that he’d compared Grady to me, and I wanted to blame him for Grady’s death. Anything to take the guilt off my own back.”

I closed my eyes to keep the tears at bay. When I felt my self-control come back to me, I softly said, “Your father did blame himself for Grady’s death. I think because of that conversation you overheard. Actually…I don’t think. I know. Because he told me once.”

Colt’s head snapped around to look at me. “What?”

I nodded. “One of his clients called me and asked if I’d heard from him. He was supposed to have shown up that morning to shoe a few of his horses. I offered to do it, figuring Jacob was dealing with his grief. Afterward, I headed to your place and found him in the barn, on the floor of his office. He must have been drinking straight through the night. I managed to help him get up and get to the house. Your mother was out that morning, so I put him on the sofa and made him some coffee. When I brought him a cup, his head was back on the cushions. I thought he’d fallen asleep.”

I drew in a breath and went on. “He wasn’t asleep; he was crying. Sobbing, actually. He told me it was his fault that Grady took his life. He told me he’d had a heart-to-heart with him and he might have gone too far. He didn’t tell me anything else, just that the talk was shortly before…”

My voice trailed off as I waited once again to get control of my emotions. Colt was still watching me intently.

“He said he didn’t tell your mother about the conversation, and that he couldn’t because she’d blame him. I told him that I didn’t think that would ever happen, but he still insisted it was his fault. He also mentioned you that morning.”

“What did he say?” Colt asked, looking at me with worry in his eyes.

“He thought he was the reason you left.”

Colt’s eyes went wide. “Why would he think that?”

I shrugged. “He didn’t tell me. He passed out after that, and I lay him down and covered him up. He never once brought up the conversation again. As a matter of fact, he never talked about Grady much after that at all. When I stopped asking about you, your mother and father stopped talking about you both.” She shook her head. “Looking back on it now, I believe we all handled things poorly.”

He sighed and dropped his head back against the swing. “Clearly, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. God. I don’t know how we all would have handled that. It’s not like there’s a manual that tells anyone how to process something as traumatic as this.”

“Exactly, Colt. You have to stop beating yourself up.”

His brows raised. “You’re telling me this? After what I did to you?”

I let out a soft laugh. “I guess I am. I’ve already told you what your leaving did to me, but now you’re back. Just like you need to let go of the guilt, I need to let go of the anger. I want to let it go. I need to let it go…and if I’m being honest, I’m so damn happy you’re back, Colt.”

Those honey-colored eyes met my blue. The sadness in them nearly caused me to weep.

“You are?”

I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat and looked out at the darkening night sky. “There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you. Wondered what you were doing, who you were with? Had you fallen in love with anyone, and was that why you weren’t coming home? Some days, I swore I’d go insane thinking about it. Then my sister and brother got married, and I found out they were having babies, and all I could think about was how that should’ve been me. If only you’d stayed…”

“Pippa—”

I held up my hand. “Let me get all this out, Colt, before my parents join us.”

He nodded.

“I was about to have a baby on my own.”

His head drew back in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“IVF. I’d already done the research, and I’d been saving up money because it’s not cheap.”

He frowned. “Who was going to be the sperm donor?”

I shrugged. “I hadn’t gotten that far yet. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I obviously couldn’t move on with anyone else, because I was still in love with you. So I was preparing to move forward alone.”

“I’ll never stop loving you, Pippa. Like my note said. I hope you believe that.”

I chewed on my lower lip before letting it go. “You hurt me badly, Colt.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “And I swear, if you give me another chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Showing you how much I love you.”

“I want to start over. Like I said before. I want to go on a date…well, more than one date.”

A smile appeared on his handsome face. “I can do that. I remember our first date like it was yesterday.”

I held up my hand again. “You’re not getting sex on the first date like you did the first time around!”

When a look of horror crossed his face and his gaze snapped toward the front door, I laughed.

He looked back at me and chuckled. Then grew serious. “Ensley, I want you to know, I don’t think I deserve another chance. But I’m gladly going to take whatever it is that you will give me.”

“I won’t lie to you, Colt, you’re going to have to earn my trust back. If you hurt me again, I’m not sure I could ever forgive you a second time.”

He turned his whole body and took my hands in his. “I swear to you, as God is my witness, I will never leave you again. I would rather die than ever cause you more pain.”

The door opened, and my mother and father walked out. Dad was carrying a tray of hot chocolate and what looked like brownies. He put it down on a low table that sat in front of the bench adjacent to the swing. They were wearing coats, but my mother also had a blanket with her, which they shared when they sat on the bench.

“Please tell me those are Oh My God brownies,” Colt said, dropping my hands and standing to reach for a brownie.

My mother grinned. “They are.”

Colt took a huge bite. He moaned and dropped back onto the swing. “This is what I imagine Heaven to be like. God, I’ve missed these.”

My mother beamed. There was nothing she enjoyed more than feeding people.

“Did you decide what you’re going to do about your brother’s room?” Dad asked.

Colt looked at me. “Would you mind helping me?”

“Talk to your parents?”

He nodded. “That, and cleaning out the room if you think it’s something you could do.”

My stomach churned. A small part of me suddenly wanted to say no, afraid of what we might find. But if Colt and I were going to give things another shot, supporting him was a good start.

“Of course. I’ll do both if you want.”

“Colt, I know it’s going to be hard to approach your parents about this. And I can’t imagine the pain they felt losing their son, so don’t be upset if they aren’t ready, even if it has been ten years.”

Nodding, Colt replied, “Thank you so much, Vivianne. Thank both of you for letting me talk to you about this. I truly appreciate it.”

They both smiled warmly at him. Then my father cleared his throat and asked, “So—let’s get to the matter of you walking out on my daughter.”

My mouth fell open.

“You are going to make it up to her, I presume.”

I was positive my face was beet red as I cried, “Dad!”

Colt’s mouth twitched. “Your daughter has given me the gift of a second chance. I made a promise to her, and I’ll make the same one to you both. I’ll never hurt her again, the way I did when I left. If she’ll let me, I plan on making it up to her for the rest of my life.”

“And how are you going to start?” my mother asked with a slight smirk.

Colt looked at me, then back to my parents. “By coming up with the most amazing second first date ever.”

My father laughed and popped a piece of brownie into his mouth. “You’re going to have to top Caden’s first date with Lilibeth.”

“That’s what I told him,” I added.

Colt looked between the three of us, then sighed. “What in the world did he do on this date?”

“Let’s just say it involved the theater in town, a private viewing of her favorite movie, and all her favorite snacks,” Mom said.

I sighed. “It was so romantic. And I got to serve the meal.”

“Meal?” Colt asked.

“Caden had us set up a small table, candles—well, LED ones—and beautiful china, and he had a private meal catered for them.” I placed a hand over my heart. “So romantic.”

Colt rolled his eyes. “So you’ve said.”

Smirking, I added, “You have big shoes to fill.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, he sighed. “I think I’m going to have to bring in some help for this one.”

My mother winked as she said, “Yes, you are, Colt. Yes. You. Are.”

We sat on the front porch for another thirty minutes or so before my mother declared it was too cold. My parents said their goodbyes to Colt, then retreated into the house.

“I should get going,” he said shortly after, standing from the swing.

Pushing the blanket to the side, I stood, as well. “It is chilly out here.”

“Before you know it, winter will be here. Do you still love winter?”

Smiling, I nodded. “I do. There’s nothing like that first snowfall that covers everything in the most beautiful white.”

Colt led the way inside, and we grabbed our coats.

We walked down the steps and toward Colt’s truck. He opened the door, then turned to face me. “Thank you for tonight, Ensley. You have no idea how much this meant to me.”

Smiling, I placed a hand on his chest. “I’m glad you came over. And, if I’m being honest, I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with for our first date. I’m actually excited.”

He laughed. “No pressure or anything.”

I held up my finger and thumb, making a pinching motion. “Just a bit of pressure.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, and we can talk about a good time to chat with my parents.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

When he turned to get into the truck, I reached for his arm to stop him. “Colt?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s going to be okay.”

Even in the darkness, I could see the worry in his eyes. “I’ve missed you, Pippa. So fucking much.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

For a moment, I thought he was going to lean down and kiss me.

When he didn’t make a move, I did. Stretching up, I gently brushed a kiss across his lips.

It only took him two seconds to deepen it, wrapping his arm around my waist and drawing me toward him. My body melted against his as we both moaned softly. This was what I’d missed more than anything. This closeness. Being in Colt’s arms.

When we broke apart, he leaned his forehead against mine. My eyes were still closed as I took in a few deep breaths.

Rubbing his nose against mine, Colt whispered, “I love you, Ensley Wilde.”

My hands gripped the front of his coat. “I swear to God, Colt Owens, if you hurt me again, I will find you and tear your limbs off, then shove them up your ass.”

He chuckled as he placed his finger on my chin and lifted. Our gazes met, and I nearly melted once again, this time into a puddle on the ground. His smile faded as he grew serious.

“When can we go on our second first date?”

I raised my brows. “That depends on you. How fast can you plan the most amazing date I’ll ever have?”

Frowning, he said, “I should get to thinking.”

Patting his chest, I kissed him quickly once more and stepped away. “Damn right, you better start thinking.”

When he smiled, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I lifted my hand and waved. “I’ll see you around?”

He opened the door of his truck and replied, “You better believe it.”

I watched as he pulled out of the driveway and headed down the road. Once he’d turned, I smiled and had to keep myself from jumping around like a twelve-year-old with her first crush.

My fingers came up to my lips as I let the memory from moments earlier wash over me.

A throat cleared from behind me, and I turned to see my mother standing on the porch. When she smiled, I returned the gesture.

“Come on in, let’s have a cup of tea before you head home.”

I practically skipped up the steps toward her.

My mother laughed as she held her hands out for mine. “I hope you don’t make it too easy on him.”

“Mom, am I not your daughter?”

Winking, she replied, “Damn right, you are!”

Colt

I stepped out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t get much sleep the night before because today was the day I was going to talk to my parents about Grady’s room. After I got home from Vivianne and Ladd’s house last night, I texted Ensley and told her that I wanted to talk to them as soon as possible before I changed my mind. So, today was the day.

I sighed as I closed my eyes and took in a few moments of silence. I could hear the windchimes in the tree out front, which my mother had hung just the other day. They used to hang outside my childhood bedroom window. I’d made one comment about how much I missed hearing them, and the next thing I knew, they were in the tree out front of the little cabin where I was staying.

Opening my eyes once again, I gave a firm head nod to my reflection. Ensley would be calling soon, and just knowing that she’d be with me made me breathe a bit easier.

As I dried myself, a knock on the cabin door had me turning to look out the bathroom door and through the small living room. Frowning, I picked up my watch and saw it was only seven in the morning. Ensley planned on coming over around nine.

I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed to the door, pulling back the blue-and-white checkered curtain my mother had hung, and smiled when I saw Ensley standing there. I had no idea why she was so early, but I wasn’t about to complain.

I unlocked the deadbolt and swung the door open just as she turned. Her eyes widened as they slowly traveled down my nearly naked body, then back up to meet my amused gaze. When she swallowed hard, I couldn’t help but tease her.

“Like what you see?” I asked with a wink.

“Liking your body was never a problem, Colt Owens.”

I laughed as I motioned her to come in. “What brings you by so early? I thought we said nine.”

She walked in, took off her coat, and handed it to me. I hung it up as she tossed her purse onto the sofa and started to pace the small living room.

“We did, but I couldn’t sleep last night, and then I woke up earlier than usual. I was going to work out, but then I thought I should just come straight over so we can figure out what we want—or what you want—to say to your parents. Then, once I got here, I thought maybe I should have worked out after all, because I feel as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Had I worked out, maybe all this nervous energy would be gone. Plus, you clearly weren’t ready for company, given the fact you’re only wearing a towel.”

I stared at her as she wrung her hands together and continued to pace.

“I mean, are you nervous? I don’t know why I am.” She rolled her eyes. “No, I do know why, it’s just— Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Because you’ve been talking nonstop since you walked in.”

She stopped and dropped her hands to her sides. “Oh, sorry about that.”

“For the record, I am nervous. And you probably should have gone to work out.”

Lifting a brow, she said, “Are you saying I need to work out?”

A bark of laughter slipped free. “No, Pippa, I’m not saying that at all. But now we’re here, alone, and I want nothing more than to kiss you.”

She held up both hands. “Oh no. You’re dressed in a towel, Colt.”

I shrugged. “So.”

“So?” she asked with a laugh. “It’s been months since I’ve been with a man, and seeing you…”

She swept her hands up and down the length of my body.

“Seeing me?” I prompted.

“Well, it makes me a bit…”

I fought to keep the smile off my face. “A bit?”

“Stop doing that, Colt!”

“Doing what?” I asked with a laugh. “You’re the one not finishing your sentences.”

“Because I can’t think with you standing there naked!”

Glancing down, I said, “I’m not naked.”

“You might as well be. How can a girl even think with all that muscle on display? And that V thing you’ve got going on. It’s just pointing to your dick, which, I might add, I remember very well. My body’s humming right now, and…well…I can’t think straight!”

“I should go get dressed then.”

Ensley bit her lower lip.

“Or…” I let the word hang in the air.

Clearing her throat, Ensley asked, “Or what?”

With what I hoped was a wicked smile on my face, I replied, “I could help take away some of your nervousness.”

Her tongue swept across her lips as she stared at me. “How?”

I made my way closer and stopped just inches shy of her. “You said no sex.”

“On the first date. I don’t think this is a date.”

“No,” I purred. “It’s not a date.” Lifting my hand, I ran a finger down the side of her face. “We could do other things.”

Her breathing increased, and her voice sounded breathy as she asked, “What kinds of things?”

Taking her hand in mine, I walked her to the bedroom.

“Colt,” she warned.

“I promise, no sex.” Pointing to the chair in the corner, I said, “Sit down.”

Ensley bounced her eyes from the chair to me and back. She finally walked over and sat down.

I let my eyes drink her in. She was wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt that said: “Buy Me Books and Tell Me I’m Pretty.” Her blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and she wore just the lightest bit of makeup. Ensley had always been so naturally beautiful.

“You wore the perfect thing for what I have planned.”

She gripped the arms of the chair as she raised one eyebrow. She was trying to play it cool, but I could see how heavily she was breathing. “What exactly do you have planned?”

My hands slid up her legs. “Do you want me to tell you or surprise you?”

Her mouth opened, but when I grabbed her sweats and yanked them down, she laughed. I pulled off her sneakers and tossed them to the side, then finished removing her sweats.

Reaching up, I pulled off her shirt and dropped it to the side. God, she was so gorgeous. Her body was curvier than the nineteen-year-old Ensley’s had been. Every soft, sexy inch filled my hands perfectly as I let them explore every part of her. He blue eyes turned dark when I ran my thumb over her lace-covered nipple.

Leaning in, I sucked it through the fabric and nearly came on the spot when Ensley moaned in pleasure. Sitting back on my heels, I drew in a deep breath.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Her tongue swept across her lips as I let my hands move softly over her thighs.

I ran my hands back up her legs, then spread them open, causing her to let out a soft gasp.

She wore pink lacy panties, and it was all I could do not to grab her and toss her onto my bed. Instead, I whispered, “Lift your hips, Pip,” as I slowly drew her panties down. I set them aside before taking one of her legs and putting it over the arm of the chair. I repeated the same thing with her other leg. Then I sat back and stared at her. She was clean-shaven—and she looked fucking delicious.

“God, you’re so fucking perfect. The number of nights I dreamed about doing this to you, I can’t even begin to tell you.”

“Colt,” she whispered, as she shifted in the seat. “If you make me beg…”

Smiling, I kissed the inside of her thigh. “Never would I make you beg.”

“Then do something!”

“I see some things never change, like how you lack patience.”

Moving slowly up her thigh, I blew softly on her clit.

“If you don’t do something soon, Colt, I’m going to take matters into my own hands.”

The second I buried my face between her legs, she cried out and slid her fingers into my hair.

She tasted like heaven. Better than any dream I could ever have. It didn’t take long before she was crying out my name as she came.

“Stop! Colt, stop!” she begged, pushing me away when I would have continued. Her head fell back, and she drew in long, deep breaths. “Oh my God! That felt amazing.”

Smiling, I sat back and ran a hand through my hair. I hadn’t done that to another woman since…well…since Ensley.

When she lifted her head and met my smile with one of her own, she bit her lip again. God, how I wanted to push right into her and lose myself. Lord knows I was hard as a rock.

“I’m glad to see I haven’t lost my touch when it comes to oral.”

Her eyes searched my face.

“I haven’t done that since that last time with you, in the barn.”

A wide smile broke out over her face. “I haven’t either. I remember that night. I screamed your name so loud, the horses all started to go crazy.”

I chuckled.

She chewed on her lip and let her eyes move down my body. The towel had long since dropped, and my hard erection was on display. “Do you need a little something?”

“The only thing I wanted was for you to feel good.”

She leaned forward. “But—”

“But nothing, Pip. That was for you. I’m good.”

Her eyes watched my every move as I stood, adjusted the towel back around my waist and said, “I’m going to go get dressed.”

“Colt?”

Turning, I watched as she stood and walked toward me. “Yeah?”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

I cupped her face in my hands. “I wanted to, Ensley. And I know you feel like you have to do something in return, but that’s not what this is. I wanted to make you feel relaxed. Are you relaxed?”

She laughed. “I’m very relaxed.”

Kissing the tip of her nose, I replied, “Good. Then you get dressed, and I’ll get dressed, before we both lose control.”

She nodded.

“Make yourself at home. I have some freshly squeezed orange juice if you want some.”

“Did you make it?”

“Mom did,” I called out, as I moved into the bathroom and shut the door, but not all the way.

I could hear Ensley moving about in my kitchen. It did something to me, knowing she was here, in my place. A part of me wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I was just glad I hadn’t lost it like a teenage boy when she started to come. I nearly had, yet somehow managed to rein it in.

After getting dressed, I walked out and saw Ensley standing at the back door looking out. I walked up behind her and let my eyes search for what she was looking at.

“What is it?” I asked.

She leaned her body back against mine, and damn if it didn’t feel amazing. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on top of her head.

“Do you remember all the times we would sneak to this cabin and spend hours here?”

I chuckled. “I do remember.”

“This is where I lost my virginity to you.”

“Same for me,” I whispered.

“It feels like it was yesterday, but it also feels like a million years ago.”

I wasn’t sure if I would ever truly be able to make it up to Ensley for leaving. A part of me would always blame myself for the missing ten years, and I knew she might, as well. The best we could do was move forward. With everything.

“You’re going to have to stop doing that.”

Ensley’s words pulled me out of my thoughts. “Doing what?”

She turned in my arms and looked up at me. “Blaming yourself. If we want to move on and see what happens, like I told you yesterday, you and I both have to let go of the past.”

I stared into her beautiful blue eyes. “I don’t feel like I deserve your forgiveness, Pip.”

Ensley let out a soft breath. “If anyone should know about how short life is, it’s the two of us. I’m tired of hanging on to the anger and hurt. Aren’t you?”

I nodded. “More than you know.”

“I’m not saying that I’ll forget, because it impacted the last ten years of my life, but I’m ready to try to forgive and move on. I also think today is going to be a very big stepping stone for you and your family.”

“For the rest of my life, I’m going to wake up every single day and thank God for you, Ensley.”

Smiling, she reached up and kissed me softly. “Damn right, you are.”

Laughing, I shook my head as I took a step back. “Should we just head over to my parents’ place?”

“No time like the present.”

I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her. “Thank you for doing this with me.”

Her hands covered mine. “From now on, we’re in this together.”

“Together,” I softly repeated.

The drive to my parents’ house wasn’t long. They didn’t own a ranch as big as the Wildes’, but it still was enough time for me to go through the barrage of different emotions I was feeling.

“How many times have you wanted to turn around?” Ensley asked.

“Can you read minds now?”

She chuckled. “I can only imagine what you’re thinking. One second, I think this is the right thing to do, then the next, I’m wondering if now is a good time to do this.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “I could hardly sleep last night. I don’t know how my parents are going to react when I tell them I think it’s time to clean out Grady’s room.”

Placing her hand on my leg, she gave it a light squeeze. “You’re doing the right thing, Colt. I feel it in my soul.”

I stole a glance at her, and when our eyes met, she smiled…and a calmness I hadn’t felt in a very long time swept over me.

“Right now, I’m feeling like there isn’t anything I can’t do as long as I have you by my side.”

She huffed. “How did you make it the last ten years?”

“I honestly don’t know. Most of the time, I felt numb. I kept a smile on my face to hide my broken heart, but for years I felt like a shell. Moving through life simply to move.”

When she didn’t say anything, I looked at her once more. She was staring out the front window.

“That’s the perfect way to describe my last ten years, as well,” she said quietly.

I parked and turned the truck off. I glanced up at the sky and said, “Cold weather is moving in tomorrow. Today could be the last nice day for a while.”

Ensley leaned forward and looked out the windshield. “Yep, it’s going to be a beautiful day.” She leaned back and looked at me. “Are you ready?”

I exhaled. “As ready as I’m going to be.”

“I’ll be right there with you, Colt.”

Tears pricked the back of my eyes. I didn’t deserve this woman’s love and compassion, but I was going to be greedy and take it.

“Let’s go.”

We got out of the truck and walked up the steps of the front porch, hand in hand. Before we even had a chance to reach the top step, the door flew open and my mother stood there. Her eyes swept over us—noting our hands—and a huge grin appeared on her face. She may have been in her upper fifties, but my mother was still a beautiful woman, and right now, her soft brown eyes sparkled as she wiped her hands on her apron.

“Do my eyes deceive me?” she asked, holding her arms open to Ensley.

“What is it you think you see?” Ensley asked with a chuckle, before walking into my mother’s embrace.

She hugged her, then pushed Ensley out to arm’s length and said, “A reconciliation of sorts?”

Laughing, Ensley conceded, “Of sorts.”

“Good morning, Mom,” I said, as I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Is Dad here?”

“Of course he is. We finished breakfast not that long ago, and I’ve been in the kitchen making some bread. Come on in.”

Ensley and I exchanged a look before following my mother into the house. My father stood right inside the door with a wide smile, as well.

“Have you two kids made up?” he asked, with a hopeful expression on his face.

Ensley glanced at me. “I’m waiting on your son to ask me out on a date.”

“Starting fresh, are we?” my mother asked, as she motioned us to follow her into the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked bread filled the air, and I couldn’t help but let out a low moan.

“That smells so good, Mom.”

“She’s on a baking mission. Sourdough bread, banana nut bread, and right now she’s got a cinnamon apple bread in the oven.”

“Would you like a slice?” Mom asked us.

“I would love a slice,” Ensley replied, as I nodded.

Soon, my mother had three different types of homemade jam on the table, along with freshly cut banana nut bread.

“Jacob, you can have one slice, and that’s it. You’ve already had some.”

My father didn’t argue; he simply took his slice and smiled at it like a man who hadn’t eaten in days. Then he paused and eyed my mother. “Did you somehow sneak kale into this?”

All she did was smile, which caused Ensley and me to laugh. My father stared at the bread for a long second, then shrugged and took a large bite, clearly deciding it didn’t matter whether it was hiding kale or not.

“Mom, Dad, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

They both looked over at me.

“Is everything okay?” my mother asked.

“Yes,” Ensley responded before I could. She quickly looked at me and mouthed sorry. I reached for her hand and held it as I focused back on my mother and father.

“I wanted to talk to you about Grady’s room.”

My mother’s face instantly drained of color, as my father leaned back in his chair, his expression suddenly emotionless. “What about it?” he asked.

“It doesn’t look like anyone has touched it in years, if at all.”

Mom cleared her throat and started to wring her hands. “I try to go in twice a year and dust.”

I looked at my father, who was silent for a moment, staring at the table, before he finally said, “I haven’t been in there in about four years or so.”

My heart aching for my parents, I said gently, “I think it’s time we cleaned it out.”

My mother sank into a chair and closed her eyes, her head down. “It’s beyond time.”

The sense of relief between Ensley and me was palpable.

Taking my mother’s hand in his, my father gave her a soft smile before focusing his attention on me. “I agree with your mother. We just haven’t been able to bring ourselves to take that step. We have talked about it…but it’s so hard. Taking that first step is like trying to step across the Grand Canyon for your mother and me.”

I relaxed a bit more in my seat.

“Colt and I can take care of it.”

My mother gave Ensley a hopeful look. “Would you? I just…I don’t think I can. Not even after all this time. I’ve tried. I really have. There are boxes in the basement…I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Lynn,” Ensley said quietly. “I can’t even imagine how hard the thought of packing up his things would be.”

“Is there anything you’d like me to keep?” I asked.

My parents exchanged a look. I wasn’t sure if either was going to answer, until my father finally did.

“I don’t think so. Unless there’s something either one of you would like to keep.”

I nodded.

Ensley cleared her throat as she put her napkin down and stood. “Let me help you clean up the kitchen, Lynn.”

My mother waved her off. “No need, sweetheart.” She looked at me. “Are you going to do this today?”

I stood. “We can. Are you okay with that?”

She smiled softly. “Of course. I may try to join you, but…I can’t make any promises.”

I made my way around the small table and kissed my mother. “Don’t stress over it, Mom.”

My father reached for my hand. “Thank you, Colt.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to do this earlier. To take this on for you both.”

Placing her hand on the side of my face, my mother said softly, “You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

Turning to Ensley, I drew in a breath and slowly let it out. “I’m going to go to the basement to get the boxes.

She nodded, and started to help my mother clean up. “Let me at least keep busy while Colt gets the boxes.”

I left Mom and Ensley talking quietly as my father followed me downstairs. We carried the boxes up both sets of stairs and set them outside Grady’s room. He handed me the packing tape he’d grabbed, as well, to put the boxes together and secure them after they were full.

“Dad, are you okay?”

He nodded and wiped away a stray tear. “I’m fine, son. Just memories and regrets surfacing.”

I put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. I knew exactly what he was feeling, and I needed to tell him.

“I know how you feel, Dad. It’s why I ran away.”

“You didn’t run.”

I shook my head. “I did. I blamed myself for Grady’s death…and I know you do, as well.”

His eyes met mine.

“It wasn’t either of our faults.”

He closed his eyes. “I’ve tried to tell myself that every single day since, but I still can’t help but bear the blame. Did you know Grady wanted to be a pilot?”

My head drew back in surprise. “You knew that?”

He smiled. “Your mother did. She told me a few months after his death. If I’d only just let him live his own dreams and stop trying to form his future by forcing him to run this place.”

I wrapped my father in my arms and hugged him tightly. “Dad, please don’t blame yourself.”

Feeling his body shake with sobs nearly undid me. I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, me holding my father as he let his tears fall, but I wasn’t about to let go first.

When we heard Ensley approaching behind us, my father turned, allowing Ensley to move closer and hug him, as well.

My father cleared his throat as he stepped back and pushed his fingers through his hair. “Your mother will be worried if she thinks I’m upset.”

Ensley smiled at my father with so much love. It only served to remind me of what a wonderful woman she was.

“I’m going to join your mom downstairs.”

“Okay, Dad.”

We both watched as he made his way down the steps. Then, turning to face the door, Ensley took a deep breath, wrapped my hand in hers…and reached for the knob.

Ensley

The door creaked ever so slightly as I pushed it open. It had been ten long years since I’d set foot in this room. After Grady’s death, I came up here to see if I could find a note or something that he may have left behind. I hadn’t searched in depth; I figured if he’d left something, it would be visible. When I couldn’t find anything relatively quickly, I walked out, shut the door, and never came back. It was just too painful, being in my best friend’s space.

Colt let go of my hand as we walked into the room. He turned in a circle while exhaling a long breath.

“Where do we even start?”

“His clothes? I brought up some large black bags your mother gave me for those. She mentioned taking them to the orphanage.”

Colt nodded. “Makes sense to put the clothes in bags.”

He walked over to Grady’s small closet and opened it. When he didn’t move, I stepped over to stand next to him.

“Do you want me to do this?”

Turning to look at him, I saw he was smiling.

“He had the worst taste in clothes.”

I couldn’t help it; I laughed. “He really did.”

“Fuck, I miss him.”

Sliding my arm around his waist, I rested my head on his arm. “I know. I miss him, too.”

We stood there for a few moments before Colt nodded his head. “I’ll get to work on the closet. Do you mind cleaning out the dresser? After the clothes, we can go through his personal items. It still feels a bit…”

“Intrusive?”

He looked at me. “Yeah. Doesn’t it?”

“It does, yes. But it’s something we need to do.”

“Yeah,” he replied, as he reached in and grabbed a handful of shirts. He removed the hangers, tossing them into a pile on the floor, then he folded the clothes before placing them in one of the large bags.

At the long and low dresser, I smiled as I reached out and picked up a frame. It held a photo of Grady and Colt sitting on the tailgate of Colt’s old Ford F-150. They had their arms around each other as they smiled into the camera. The photo was taken by me, a year or so before Grady’s death.

Setting the photo down, I picked up another. It was a family Christmas photo. I ran my finger over Grady’s handsome face. It would be his last Christmas, but none of us knew that at the time. I held the photo to my chest, closed my eyes, and focused on keeping the tears at bay. No wonder Lynn and Jacob didn’t ever want to come into the room.

I set the frame down and pulled open the top right drawer.

“I cannot believe how many T-shirts Grady had,” Colt said. “He has this same one in five different colors. And who hangs up T-shirts?”

I laughed. “Grady did.”

Colt returned my laugh with one of his own.

I reached into the drawer and pulled out a white envelope that read “Granby Ophthalmologist Center.” Under the envelope was a small leather book. My hand started to shake as I set the envelope down and stared at the brown book, a memory popping into my head.

“Ensley, I need you to listen to me.”

I looked up from where I was attempting to reshoe a stubborn horse. “I’m listening the best I can, Grady.”

“In my bedroom, I have a brown leather journal.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve written down some private information in there that I don’t want anyone to see, if anything happens to me.”

I nodded. “Got it.”

“Ensley! I really need you to listen!”

Stopping what I was doing, I straightened. “Grady, I heard you. You’re just telling me where your journal is. Anyway, isn’t that something Colt should do? Hide your dirty little secrets and fantasies from your parents?”

He rolled his eyes. “I wanted to tell you.”

“That you have a journal…”

“Yes.”

“I got it. Brown journal, in your bedroom. Get it before your mother does.”

“I keep it in my desk.”

Confused, I slowly shook my head. “Grady, why are you telling me this? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course. But I have some personal stuff in there about…girls. Sex. Things like that. If I ever get in an accident, you cannot let my mother find it.”

I started to laugh. “You write about your sexual encounters in your journal? That’s so cute!”

Rolling his eyes once again, he said, “Ensley, there was a particular night that I really don’t want anyone to know about.”

“The threesome night?”

His mouth fell open. “How did you know about that?”

“Um, because you called me to come pick you up and take you home. Don’t you remember?”

“No!”

I winked. “Just be glad you called me and not Colt.”

I drew in a sharp breath when I realized the book in that drawer was Grady’s journal, the one he’d told me about. I’d completely forgotten all about it.

Hands still shaking, I picked it up and opened it, noting the first entry date was from Grady’s freshman year. I skimmed through it until I got to a date a couple of months before his death.

My eyes are bothering me. They have been for a few months, but I kept telling myself it’s nothing. Now I’m starting to worry it’s something. I can’t be a pilot if my eyes are messed up.

Flipping forward a few pages, I was three weeks out from his death. I took several steps back and sank down onto the bed.

I told Gina I was still having issues with my eyes. It’s getting harder to see at night, which isn’t good. And yesterday, while we were flying, I had a hard time seeing from my peripheral vision. Gina’s insisting I go see an eye doctor. I probably do need to get an eye exam, especially since this seemed to come on pretty quick. I need to be able to see to fly! She also wants me to tell my parents. I think my eyes are stressed and that’s all.

When I turned the page, the date jumped a week.

I’m going to an eye specialist in Granby today. I haven’t said anything to anyone else. No sense in worrying my parents, Colt, or Ensley. Gina’s worried enough for everyone. HA!

My father jumped down my throat again today about the family business. I’m going to have to man up and tell him about my plans, and he isn’t going to be happy. He has Colt to take over the business, and I know he’ll do a great job. I did tell Mom about the flying lessons and about Gina. I couldn’t gauge her reaction. She seemed happy that I was doing something I’ve always loved. She told me that when I was little, I used to talk about being a pilot. I do think she’s worried about the age difference between Gina and me. She’ll get over it! Once I get my eyes figured out, I’m going to tell my parents about my plans for the future. Being a farrier isn’t one of them. And Gina is the love of my life. No matter what, she comes first.

Turning the page, I looked at the date. It was only a few days before his death.

I got terrible news today. Dr. Morris has a name for it. Retinitis Pigmentosa. It’s a rare genetic eye disorder that causes light-sensitive cells in my retina to break down over time. She said I’d most likely be completely blind by my thirties or, if I’m lucky, maybe into my forties. My sight is going to get worse and worse, and I’ll only be able to see through a progressively smaller pinhole until my vision’s completely gone.

My days of dreaming of being a pilot are gone. Everything I ever dreamed of…gone. When I told Gina, she cried. Then she told me she thought it would be best if she went back to Denver. She said she can’t handle the fact that I’m going to lose my eyesight.

My mouth fell open. That bitch! She left Grady when he’d needed her the most. I slowly shook my head as I kept reading. The next entry was the day before Grady’s death.

I can’t do this. Not only will I not be able to be a pilot, but I can’t even follow in my father’s footsteps like he wants. I’m going to be blind. Who in the fuck would love a blind man? No one.

My dreams are over. Gina found out and left the same day. Colt’s marrying Ensley. I’m going to be all alone. I might as well just die.

A sob slipped free and I covered my mouth with my hand, closing my eyes.

“Ensley?”

I looked up to see Colt staring down at me, looking concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

With shaking hands, I offered him the journal. Colt took it and started to read it.

“What the…?”

He slowly sank down to the bed next to me as he flipped back a few pages. I could feel the tears roll down my face as I thought about Grady taking on this news, completely alone.

I was also going to track down that fucking bitch Gina and kick her ass.

“He was going blind?” Colt whispered.

“I’m going to kill her.”

I felt him turn and look at me, so I did the same.

“Who?”

“Gina! She left him, Colt. Left him to deal with this all alone! I don’t know if I’ve ever felt such anger in my life. She. Left. Him.”

Colt turned back to the journal. “This was here the whole time. He took his own life because he was going blind…and he never told anyone.”

I wiped my eyes and stood. “He told me about this journal.”

Colt looked at me, surprised. “He did?”

Pacing, I said, “A few years before, he told me about the journal, and I only remembered when I saw it in the drawer. He told me about it just in case anything ever happened to him, because he didn’t want your mother or father to find it and read it. He has some…personal things in there. God, if only I’d remembered it after he died! I could have looked for it. We would have known why he did what he did!” I said, as another sob slipped free. “You wouldn’t have left, and your mom and dad wouldn’t have spent the last ten years asking why! The answers were right here—and I forgot about the journal!”

Colt set the journal down and stood, quickly pulling me into his arms. “He told me about it, too, Pip. And I forgot, as well.”

I drew back. “What?”

Nodding, he said, “I think when he was a sophomore in high school. He had an…um…an uh…particular…sexual experience he wrote about.”

“The threesome.”

Colt let out a shocked laugh. “Yes. That.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t remember the journal.”

Lifting my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze, he said, “I didn’t remember it either, Pip. I’m just…fuck. I don’t know how I feel right now. I’m relieved to know why he did what he did, but I’m heartbroken he thought he had to end his life over his eyesight.”

“How do we tell your parents?” I asked softly.

Colt picked up the journal and flipped through the earlier entries. He finally found what he was looking for and ripped out a couple pages. He folded them up and put them in his back pocket.

“If you’re going to give that to your mother and father, maybe we should make sure there isn’t anything else in there?”

“It’s Grady’s private journal, so I have a strong feeling neither of them will want to invade his privacy, even now. But just in case, I think that threesome’s the only part he was really worried about.”

I blew out a breath. “I can’t believe he was going blind. Why didn’t he tell us?”

Colt shook his head. He looked devastated. “I think it was a combination of things that led him to do what he did. The diagnosis, and realizing he’d never be a pilot, Gina leaving him. He lost two things he loved the most.”

“I’m telling you right now, if I ever find that woman—and trust me, I’m going to look for her—I’m going to rip her head off and shove it up her ass.”

Colt’s brows rose. “I just got you back, Ensley. I really don’t want to be visiting you in jail.”

“Tell me you don’t want to track her down.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I do, but that isn’t going to bring Grady back.”

“It will sure as hell make me feel a bit better.”

Colt sighed and looked around the room. “I can’t even imagine what he was feeling.”

I followed his gaze. On one side of the room stood a bookshelf holding books, trophies, and memorabilia Grady had collected over the years. There were a few model planes he’d put together scattered throughout the room, along with pictures of various planes he’d printed out over the years. There was also a photo of the entire family at some kind of airshow event. Grady wore a huge smile on his face as they all stood in front of a fighter jet.

Sinking back onto the bed, I blew out a breath. “Life isn’t fair.”

“No, it’s not.”

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there. I knew we were both feeling numb, but, in an odd way, I felt such relief that we finally had answers. They didn’t make the loss any less devastating, but I prayed knowing what had motivated Grady would help ease some of the guilt from Colt’s shoulders.

Eventually, he stood. “We should get back to it.” Colt opened another drawer of the dresser and took out a handful of folded T-shirts, putting them in another bag.

A part of me wanted to leave. I didn’t want to be here in this room any longer, surrounded by all the things that Grady held so dear. I wanted to run, bury my head in the sand, and forget this day ever happened.

Instead, I stood and walked into the hall and grabbed a few boxes. I put them together and started to pack up the items on the bookcase. Books first, then the planes. I left all the photos for Colt to go through. I figured what he didn’t keep, he’d give to his mother and father.

We worked in silence for the next few hours, only taking a break when Colt said he needed to get out for some fresh air and lunch. His mother and father had gone to town, so we did the same. Stopping for a quick bite at River Falls Pizza, then heading back to his parents’ house. We talked about everything but Grady at lunch, but on the drive back to the house, Colt and I discussed the best way to give the journal to his mother and father.

In the end, we both agreed to do it later that day.

Once back at the house, we worked in silence, continuing to pack up Grady’s life, box by box. The items that were being donated, Colt brought down to his truck. It was mostly his clothes, books, and some other items that Colt felt Grady would agree needed to be donated.

There was only one box that Colt had marked to keep. It held Grady’s trophies, medals, a couple model airplanes, and the few pieces of jewelry that Grady had owned. Those included a cross his grandmother had given him, a few friendship bracelets made by me and other friends, and his graduation ring.

“Mom and Dad can go through this and decide what to keep and what to donate,” Colt had said, as he moved the box into the hallway.

I glanced out the window and saw it was now dark. Then I looked around the room. The furniture still remained. Almost everything else that was Grady’s had been removed and the room was now spotless.

The last two remaining items were the white envelope and the brown journal.

Colt dropped to the bed and fell back. “I’m emotionally and physically drained.”

I sat next to him. “Same.”

He reached for my hand and laced his fingers with mine. “Thank you for doing this with me. I thought it would take us a couple days, but I’m glad we knocked it out in one. I’m not sure if I could come back tomorrow and do this.”

All I could do was nod.

“I’m stalling.”

“I figured,” I replied softly, as I lay down on my side and looked at Colt.

He slowly shook his head. “I need to do something.”

Frowning, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“I need to do something for Grady. Or, not exactly for Grady, but in his name. Imagine all the people out there who feel the same way he did. Like life had nothing left to offer them. Grady could have lived a full life with his disease. I think we could have assured him of that, if he’d just told us. I’m certain we could have helped him. We’ll never know for sure, though, will we?”

I reached over and ran my finger down his cheek. “We may not have been able to save Grady, but maybe we can save others.”

He turned his head and looked at me, his smile sad. “You’ll help me?”

“Of course I will.”

He gently squeezed my hand as the smile slowly faded. “We know the reason why now. And I honestly thought if I knew, it would heal something in me. It feels like it opened an old wound instead.”

“I think maybe it’s because we know the reason, but we still feel helpless that we weren’t able to do anything for him.”

Colt nodded. “Yes, that’s it.”

He turned and looked back at the ceiling. “I guess we should head downstairs. I can hear the TV going, so I know my parents are still awake.”

After getting up, Colt reached for the envelope and the journal and handed them to me. As we left the room, he turned back and looked at it once again. “Goodbye, Grady. I love you.”

I quickly wiped a tear away and drew in a deep breath to get my emotions under control. Colt gently shut the door, reached for the box, and headed downstairs.

When we walked into the living room, Lynn and Jacob both looked up at us. Jacob muted the TV.

“This box is what I thought you might want to keep and go through at your discretion. It’s trophies, medals, and some personal items that were Grady’s.”

Lynn nodded and watched as Colt set the box on a side table. Then her eyes swung to me…and what I was holding.

“What is that?” she asked.

Colt and I exchanged a look before he took the envelope and walked over to his parents. He sat down on the coffee table and faced them both.

“We found this in Grady’s room, as well as a journal he kept.”

Lynn’s eyes went wide, as Jacob asked, “A journal?”

“Yes.”

“Does it…did he write about why?” Lynn asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Colt nodded, and a sob broke free from Lynn. She covered her mouth with her hands.

“Grady had an eye disease.”

Confused, Jacob asked, “What do you mean, an eye disease?”

Colt drew in a breath and quickly blew it out. “Dad, you already know that Grady wanted to be a pilot.”

Jacob nodded.

“I guess he was having issues with seeing at night, and some other things that popped up. He went to see an ophthalmologist, at Gina’s suggestion.”

“Gina’s the woman Grady was dating? The one who was giving him flying lessons?” Jacob asked.

“Yes,” Colt replied.

Lynn drew in a shaky breath. “Why is it that I think you’re about to tell us something terrible?”

Colt rubbed the back of his neck before finally speaking. “Grady had something called retinitis pigmentosa. It sounds like it starts with trouble seeing at night and then your vision becomes decreased until you’re seeing through a pinhole, and then eventually…”

His voice faded.

“You go blind,” Jacob whispered. When Colt and I looked at him in surprise, he sighed. “My great-grandfather had the same thing. Although, I don’t know if they knew what it was back then. He could see when he was younger, he used to tell us, but then his vision grew worse and worse. He was completely blind by the time he was forty-six.”

“It sounds like it’s a pretty rare genetic eye disorder,” I added softly.

Lynn had taken the journal from Colt, and it was clear she’d turned to the very last few entries. She looked up, tears in her eyes. “That little bitch left him?”

“Thank you!” I said, throwing up my hands and letting them slap down on my thighs. “I said the same thing!”

Jacob leaned toward his wife, reading what Lynn had just read. Then he looked up at Colt. “It wasn’t my fault?” He seemed shocked. “It wasn’t my fault…”

Colt reached for his father’s hand. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault, Dad.”

I sat silently as Jacob buried his face in his hands and cried. Colt moved to the other side of him on the sofa, and all three of them embraced one another.

It was such a personal and private moment, I felt as if I was intruding. I slowly made my way out of the living room and to the kitchen, where I quickly got to work on making tea and something to snack on. Anything to keep my mind busy.

All while holding in my own tears over ten long years of everyone feeling like they were to blame somehow and recalling all the loss we’d each endured.

Colt

A few days had passed since Ensley and I had cleaned out Grady’s room. The box of his things had been stored in the attic, along with his journal and the medical papers. My mother had gone into Grady’s room and decided all the furniture should be donated to the orphanage in town, which gladly accepted everything. A new bed, side table and dresser, as well as a desk, had been ordered for the room.

I could already see a certain lightness to my mother. In all of us, really. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. We’d gotten the answers we’d needed for ten years, though there was also the pain of knowing Grady hadn’t even given us a chance to help him deal with his diagnosis.

“What do you have planned for your second first date?”

I glanced up and saw Gatlin leaning against the doorjamb of my office in the barn, black cowboy hat shadowing his eyes as he smiled at me.

Standing, I held out my hand. “Gatlin, good to see you.”

He pushed off the jamb and reached for my hand. “Good to see you, too.”

“Honestly, it’s been a crazy few days; I haven’t had time to plan anything.”

He raised his brows.

“Are you here to help me?”

Gatlin just laughed.

I sat on the edge of my desk. “Let me guess. Ensley sent you.”

He pointed to his nose. “I’ve been sent on a very important mission to ask why in the hell you haven’t planned anything yet.”

It was my turn to laugh. “I sure have missed your sister.”

“You say that now.”

I let out a long breath. “I heard all about Caden’s first date with Lilibeth, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m not sure I can top that.”

Gatlin sat in the chair in front of my desk and removed his hat. Then proceeded to stare at me for at least two minutes.

“You staring at me isn’t going to make me come up with an idea any faster, Gatlin.”

He cleared his throat. “Okay, let’s think about this for a bit.”

“I have been thinking. I’ve been racking my brain to try to remember if she ever mentioned wanting to go somewhere specific.”

“We didn’t go on many vacations growing up because Dad was always working at the store or needed on the farm. We went on a few, but nothing that had Ensley declaring she loved it so much she wanted to go back.”

I folded my arms over my chest, my brow furrowing in thought.

“I’m not good at this kind of stuff either,” Gatlin huffed.

Giving him a look, I replied, “Yet your sister sent you on the mission.”

“A reconnaissance mission, nothing more.”

I shook my head and laughed again.

“Okay, so you can’t do a dinner-and-movie thing because Caden did that.”

Nodding, I said, “What about a picnic under the stars?”

He snarled his lip slightly as he bounced his head from side to side. “That’s okay, but I think you need to go bigger.”

“Hot air balloon to watch the sunrise?”

His head rearing back, he asked, “Have you forgotten she’s afraid of heights?”

“Fuck, I did forget.”

“Let’s see…she loves horses, the stars, mountains, lakes, anything outside.”

“You’re basically describing River Falls Ranch.”

Gatlin grinned. “I guess I am.”

Then an idea hit me. “Banff. It reminds me a lot of River Falls. One of the reasons I went was because Grady wanted to go, and the only reason he wanted to visit was because Ensley mentioned it years ago. What if I plan a trip up to Banff? Picnic under the stars, a beautiful hotel suite overlooking the mountains? A sleigh ride on the shores of Lake Louise.”

“Now that would be a first date,” Gatlin said with a wide smile. “What about your clients? And Ensley’s?”

“I think we can manage to slip away for a long weekend. I might even be able to plan it for this weekend, if I can contact everyone without her knowing.”

Gatlin’s brows rose. “If you can pull that off for this weekend, I’ll drop before you and declare you the king of first dates.”

Laughing, I stood and walked around to my chair. “If I’m going to pull this off, I need to make some phone calls.”

Standing, he slipped his black cowboy hat back onto his head and grinned. “And I’ll report back to my sister that you have, in fact, not started any planning to throw her off. If you need help calling her clients, let me know.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Gatlin.”

He tipped his cowboy hat as he said, “There’s a reason I’m her favorite brother.”

“I thought Caden was,” I quipped, and Gatlin snarled his upper lip.

“That’s a common misconception. I’m definitely the favorite.”

I held up my hands and replied, “I won’t argue with you.”

Gatlin nodded. “I always knew you were my favorite.”

Confused, I asked, “Your favorite?”

“Of all the guys my sisters have dated. I always liked you the best. Well,” he said with a shrug. “Except for that time you broke my sister’s heart in two. I didn’t like you very much then.”

I laughed, and when he raised a brow, I quickly cleared my throat and got serious. “To be fair, I didn’t like me very much then, either.”

Satisfied with my response, he gave a nod. “I’ll leave you to your planning. I do want to point out, though, this Thursday’s Thanksgiving.”

I closed my eyes and cursed. “Shit. I forgot all about that.”

Gatlin smiled. “That’s what I’m here for—to point out all the things.”

Shooting him a dirty look, I asked, “I’m guessing it’s important to be there for Thanksgiving?”

“Considering my parents invited your parents and you to attend, I’d say yes, it’s important to be there. You are trying to win points with the entire family, right? You know…the whole breaking my sister’s heart and all.”

Leaning back in the chair, I exhaled. “I’m never going to be able to get you to stop with that, am I?”

He shook his head. “Afraid not.”

I thought for a few moments and said, “I can make this work.”

Heading out of my office, Gatlin turned back and said, “If you actually make this work, I’ll drop the broke-her-heart reminders.”

Calling after him, I said, “It’s a deal!”

By the time Thursday came around, I had everything planned. We were flying out Friday morning and would be coming back to River Falls on Tuesday. I had three full days planned in Banff. Nearly four amazing days.

But right now, I needed to make it through Thanksgiving with my parents and the Wilde family. Once we arrived at Ladd and Vivanne’s, Ensley pulled me aside in the foyer. “I have to warn you about something.”

I pulled her close and kissed her. She melted into me for a few moments before breaking the kiss and gazing up at me. “What was that for?” she asked, with a lust-induced smile.

“I missed you, that’s all.”

“I just saw you yesterday.”

“I still missed you.”

She patted my chest. “That’s sweet. Now, back to my warning.”

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I said, “I’m all ears.”

“My mother and father have this new thing. Games.”

Confused, I asked, “Games?”

“Yes, like stupid, really silly games. I thought we’d talked them out of it for today, but after my grandfather and grandmother showed up with games of their own, it was back on.”

I nodded. “So, what kind of games are we playing?”

“Not the kind you want to play! So here’s the plan. Listen carefully.”

Once again, I nodded.

“If you see either of my parents or grandparents trying to get everyone’s attention, we need to slip out of the house—fast.”

“Just leave? Without even saying goodbye?”

She grabbed my shirt and shook me. “Colt, listen to me! I’m not talking Monopoly, I’m talking about group-activity type games! Like, how many little turkeys can you pick up with your mouth and put in the bucket with your hands tied behind your back! There’s even turkey bowling planned!”

My brows shot up in question, and before I could ask, she replied, “I have no idea what it is, I just heard Mom mention it. Last night, she made us practice football flick because it’s going to be my family against yours, even though you’re totally outnumbered—which, by the way, I did try to point out.”

“Football flick?”

“You have to take a little plastic football and try to flick as many as you can into a cup.”

I smiled. “That actually sounds kind of fun.”

She shot me a warning look before she said, “It isn’t. Then, this morning, Mom informed me we’d be adding,” she closed her eyes, drew in a slow breath, and let it out in a rush, “the yam roll.”

“Yam roll…” I slowly repeated.

She waved me off but still answered. “You have to roll a raw yam across the floor with your nose.”

My mouth fell open.

“That’s not the worst of it. My grandfather brought one of those cornucopia things and brought corn on the cob, still in the husks, and said we can play hike the corn into the cornucopia—blindfolded!”

I shrugged. “If I’m being honest, that sounds kind of fun, too.”

She chuckled. “I guess it does.”

“A little bit of fun competition is good for the soul.”

Tilting her head, she asked, “Do you really want to get on your hands and knees and attempt to roll a yam across the floor with your nose? I promise you, Emeline’s chocolate lab, Moose, will most certainly try to hump you.”

My attempt to keep my laughter in failed.

“You think it’s funny now, but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you. Moose is nearly ninety pounds.” She turned on her heel and started away from me.

I followed her with a smile on my face.

Damn, it was good to be home.

“Colt,” Vivianne called out as she crossed the living room. She pulled me in for a hug, kissed my cheek, then said, “Go help the boys set the table, will you?”

It felt like old times as I made my way to the kitchen and clapped my hands. “I’ve been directed to help set the table.”

Caden glanced over and said, “Just like old times,” reading my mind.

Gatlin handed me the plates. “Here you go.” I started to turn, when he said, “Wait, there’s more.”

Caden walked over and put bowls on top of the plates.

“Don’t leave,” Gatlin warned, grabbing napkins and placing them in the top bowl. “Hold on.”

“If you put anything else on here, it’s all gonna fall. And what point are you both trying to make, anyway?”

“Just making up for all the missing years,” Caden said with a wink.

“Ahh, okay. We’ve got jokes. You know, I never did think either of you were very funny.”

“Is that why we never hung out in school?” Caden asked, looking thoughtful as he folded his arms over his chest.

I smirked. “If that’s what you want to tell yourself, sure.”

Gatlin snickered. “I thought it was because you didn’t like each other.”

Caden and I both frowned at him. “That’s not true,” we said at the same time.

“Then why?” Gatlin asked, shrugging.

Caden and I exchanged a look.

With a shrug, he said, “I mean, we talked, but you hung out with the jocks more.”

“You played football.”

“I did, but I was also dating someone who was high maintenance and demanded all of my attention,” Caden stated.

“We were good friends in elementary school.”

Caden’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. That’s right. We were! I forgot that we used to hang out together.”

“Do you remember the time we took the ranch truck and went for a joyride?”

Laughing, Caden nodded. “I do remember that. We couldn’t have been more than ten. I had to get a pillow to sit on to see over the dash!”

“I love to see you boys reminiscing about old times, but the table isn’t going to set itself. Gatlin Wilde, you help Colt right now! Honestly, asking him to carry all that in!”

Gatlin tried not to smile as he walked over and took some of the items off my pile.

As we walked out of the kitchen, I heard Vivianne say, “Caden Wilde, you may be a husband and a father, but I can still put you over my knee!”

Game night never happened, much to the Wilde children’s relief. Instead, the evening was filled with love and lots of laughter as we took many walks down memory lane. My mother and father told stories about when Grady and I were little, while Vivianne and Ladd shared stories of Caden, Ensley, Emeline, and Gatlin. Even Gus and Nellie told tales about Ladd and his other brothers. It was a great evening, and it helped heal a couple of my oldest wounds by being able to talk and laugh about Grady. I know it helped my mother and father, as well.

“I still can’t believe you and Caden were little buddies,” Ensley said, as we stood on the front porch and watched huge snowflakes fall from the sky.

I wrapped my arms around her a bit tighter as I rested my chin on her head. “It’s so beautiful.”

She let out a soft, “Mmm-hmm.”

“Pip?”

“Yes?”

“I need to take you back to your place so you can pack a bag.”

Turning in my arms, she looked at me with a confused expression on her face. “Pack a bag for what?”

“For our first date.”

She laughed. “I need to pack a bag for our date?”

Smiling, I replied, “Yep. We leave early tomorrow morning.”

Ensley took a step back. “Leave for where?”

“Banff.”

Her mouth fell open. “Did you just say Banff?”

“I did. Don’t worry about your clients; Gatlin helped me find a farrier who could take care of the few we both had scheduled on Monday and Tuesday. Since neither of us had anyone on the books for Friday, we’re good there. We leave tomorrow and head back to River Falls on Tuesday morning. We have three fun-filled days planned. Well, three and a half, if you count tomorrow.”

She stared at me for a few moments, not saying a word. Then she shook her head and laughed. “Wait…Colt, are you being serious?”

I took her hand in mine. “Yes. You’ll need to pack some warm clothes, since I have a few outdoor activities planned. We have dinner booked at a nice restaurant in town Saturday night, so you’ll want to pack something nice for that. It’s a steak restaurant, but it’s one of those Michigan-star ones. They have three stars.”

“Michelin.”

“Michigan.”

Laughing, Ensley cupped my face with her mittened hands. “It’s called Michelin, not Michigan.”

I chuckled. “Potato, potahto!”

“You’re really serious, though? We’re flying to Canada tomorrow?”

I nodded. “We are, indeed.”

“What if I didn’t have a passport?”

“I asked your mother, and she said you did.”

Ensley gaped at me. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“I have a lot to make up for, and Caden’s first date was pretty awesome—but it can be outdone, and I’m just the man to do it.”

Her eyes glittered with excitement. “I can’t wait to see what you have planned!”

“Then let’s go get you packed up!”

She let out a small whoop of excitement, jumped into my arms, and laughed.

Hopefully, this happy moment was the first of many more to come.

Ensley

“I am so jealous!” Emeline said, looking through my closet. “I want to go to Banff.”

Smiling, I slipped a piece of lingerie I’d bought and never worn into my suitcase. I was borrowing a piece from my mother’s luggage set, since I needed more space than my own little carry-on provided.

“You’d leave the baby?”

She made a face over her shoulder. “Heck no. But it is rather exciting! What do you think he has planned?”

I couldn’t help it, I giggled. “I have no clue. But I told him it had to be better than what Caden planned for Lilibeth.”

“Uh, I think he already made it better by taking you to Banff.”

Sitting on my bed, I sighed. “I know, right? Anything else will just be a bonus.”

Walking out of the closet, she held up a blue dress I’d bought three years ago for my family’s charity dinner. I never wore that, either. It was an off-the-shoulder, tea-length satin-and-tulle dress. “I’ve never seen this before. It’s beautiful.”

“I bought it a few years ago. After getting it home, I didn’t think it was formal enough for mom’s charity dinner, so I’ve never actually worn it.

“This would be perfect for that fancy dinner you mentioned. And this blue will make your eyes pop.”

“It’s going to get wrinkled during the flight.”

Emeline carefully folded it and set it in the suitcase. “Ask the hotel for a steamer if there isn’t one in the room. It’ll be easy to get any wrinkles out.”

She walked back into the closet and came out with a pair of silver pumps. She carefully slipped those into the suitcase, as well.

“Did you pack hiking boots? Your good winter ones?”

“Yes, Mom. I did.”

Emeline smiled. “I’m so happy for you, Ensley. It took Colt long enough to get his head out of his ass, but seeing the two of you together tonight was nice.”

“It feels great to have him home, and for us to have put the past behind us.”

“I’m sure getting the answers surrounding Grady’s death has helped, as well. My heart just breaks for him. What a terrible thing to weather on your own.”

I sighed. “Yeah. I wish he’d spoken to at least one of us. Before I forget…when we get back, Colt and I would like to talk to you about doing something in Grady’s name.”

“Like what?”

Shrugging, I said, “I’m not sure yet. Colt thought maybe a benefit rodeo. We haven’t done one of those in forever.”

“That would be fun. Maybe if we start planning now, we can do something this summer.”

“Mom’s going to help us start a nonprofit organization, as well, in his name.”

Emeline took my hands in hers. “I’m sorry, Ensley.”

Frowning, I asked, “For what?”

It was her turn to shrug. “That it took so long to find out the reason for Grady’s death. I’m just…sorry…that’s all.”

Pulling her into a hug, I whispered, “I’m sorry, too, Emeline. I’m sorry, too.”

We broke apart, both of us wiping tears away. Emeline clapped and said, “Okay, enough of that. Let’s get you packed and ready to go! What are we missing?”

I stood and looked down at the suitcase. “I think I’ve got everything. He told me to plan for being outside, a couple of nice dinners, and lots of relaxing.”

“Do you know where you’re staying?”

Shrugging, I answered, “No clue. But I think that makes it all the more romantic.”

My younger sister smiled. “The light’s back in your eyes, and you have a beautiful glow to your cheeks.”

I placed my hands on my cheeks. “I feel alive again. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

“You deserve happiness, Ensley. You deserve everything good in your life.”

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you, Emeline.”

She cleared her throat. “Now that Colt’s back…are you still thinking about IVF?”

“I honestly haven’t thought about my plans in the last couple weeks. I guess it depends on how things go with us.”

“Ensley, you can tell by the way he looks at you that he never stopped loving you.”

I nodded. “I never stopped loving him, either. Hence never finding a partner for a baby.”

My sister smiled. “I hope you have the best weekend. I can’t wait to hear what Colt planned. Do you think he’s still good in bed?”

I gaped at her. “Emeline!”

She laughed. “What? You used to tell me all the time how amazing your sex life was. I’m guessing he’s still good. Ooh! Or maybe he’s like a fine wine—age has only made him better.”

Rolling my eyes, I replied, “I told him no sex on the first date.”

Emeline huffed. “Please. If you can manage to go this whole weekend without any sexy times, then I’ll actually be disappointed in you.”

It was my turn to laugh. “I think I’ll be disappointed, as well.”

We both fell into a fit of laughter before I got back to packing.

I shut the suitcase and set the smaller bag I’d packed with carry-on items on top. “When I told him that he had to outdo Caden, I was actually just messing with him. I never dreamed he’d take it this far.”

“I have a funny feeling he’s making up for leaving.”

Nodding, I replied, “Oh, he most certainly is.”

Glancing at her watch, Emeline blew out a breath. “I guess I need to get home. You’ll text me when you land?”

Kissing her on the cheek, I said, “I will.”

Emeline slipped on her coat, gloves, and hat. “And take lots and lots of pictures!”

“Got it!” Trailing her to the front door, I went to follow her out.

“Don’t come out here, it’s cold.”

“Let me at least make sure you get to your car.”

Rolling her eyes, Emeline said, “I did grow up here, you know.”

I smiled as I watched her make her way to Levi’s truck. “Be careful driving home!”

She waved her hand before slipping into the truck. I watched until the red lights slowly faded, then walked back in, shut the door, and quickly made my way over to the fireplace to warm up.

I pulled out my phone and sent Colt a quick text.

Me: I’m all packed up with the help of Emeline. I only packed two nice dresses, will that be enough?

Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I headed to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. The chill from being outside felt like it was sticking to my bones. My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out.

Colt: Should I pick you up tonight? Our flight leaves early.

Me: Are we flying out of Denver?

I watched as the little dots moved across my screen.

Colt: We’re flying out of Granby.

I blinked at his message. Then I hit his number, not even giving him a chance to say anything when he answered.

“What do you mean, we’re flying out of Granby? Do they even have an airport big enough?”

“Big enough for what?”

“Uh…the jets, Colt. The giant planes we use to fly around in the sky?” He laughed. But when he didn’t reply, I asked, “We are flying in a big plane…right?”

“I don’t know what big means to you…”

I let out a humorless laugh. “Like an American Airlines plane that has lots and lots of seats and pretzels.”

“No, we aren’t flying on a plane like that. We are, however, flying on a jet. It’s small, but very nice.”

I was positive that if I looked at myself in the mirror, all the color would be gone from my face. “Who’s flying this very nice jet?”

“My old boss.”

“Your old boss?”

“Yes. He owns the Lazy T Ranch, the one I used to work on. He’s a pilot, also, and he works for the Canadian Forest Service. So he’s very experienced.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “You realize this isn’t starting our second first date off on a very good note, right? Seeing as I’m afraid of heights even in the biggest planes.”

His voice was both warm and serious as he said, “Ensley, I would never put you in danger. I promise you, Judd is an amazing pilot.”

“Are we staying at the ranch?”

“Oh no, you don’t.”

I mentally cursed. I was hoping he’d slip and tell me.

“I’m not telling you where we’re staying.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

He chuckled. “We have to leave early, so get some sleep, Pip. I’ll be by around seven.”

“You know I’m not going to be able to sleep.”

“I could come by and keep you company…”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Remember, no sex before, or on, our first date.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Laughing, I said, “Good night, Colt.”

“Good night, Pippa. I love you.”

Biting my lower lip, I let those words settle around my heart before I whispered, “I love you, too.”

The call ended, and I couldn’t help but grin like a fool as I hugged my phone to my chest. It took everything I had not to kick and scream like a middle-school girl who’d just been asked out by her first love.

Colt motioned for me to precede him up the steps into the private jet that would take us to Banff. The moment I stepped inside, I drew in a sharp breath.

A dark wooden cabinet was fixed to one wall of the plane, with a TV mounted on top. A round silver tray held a few different bottles of alcohol, and my first thought was to wonder how none of it fell when the plane took off. On the other side, opposite the cabinet, was a long white leather sofa. Beyond that were eight single leather seats, four on each side of the plane.

“Wow,” I whispered, as I moved forward and dropped my purse and backpack onto the sofa.

“Pretty nice, isn’t it?” Colt moved around me and placed his backpack on one of the single seats. “Drink?”

I glanced up and looked at him. “What?”

“You’re staring at the booze. Do you want a drink?”

Shaking my head, I said, “It’s not even nine in the morning.”

Colt laughed. “Hey, you were looking at it, so I thought you wanted one. I know you’re nervous about flying.”

“I’m trying to figure out how it doesn’t fall over when the plane takes off.”

Smiling, Colt walked over, pulled me into his arms, and kissed me on the forehead. “The flight attendant puts it up before we leave.”

I felt my cheeks grow hot. “Well, that makes sense.”

An older man, probably around the age of fifty or so, stepped onto the plane. He was good-looking for his age, with his salt-and-pepper hair and eyes so green, they reminded me of a meadow we had on the ranch. In the spring, the grass turns almost emerald. The same startling shade as his eyes.

The second he saw Colt, a wide smile erupted across his handsome face. He held out his hand, and Colt gave him a few firm shakes.

“Colt, it’s good to see you.”

“I can’t thank you enough, Judd, for making this happen for us.” Facing me, Colt introduced us. “Judd, this is Ensley Wilde. Ensley, this is Judd Murray.

Judd studied me—and if it was possible, his grin grew even bigger. “So, this is Ensley.” Taking my outstretched hand, he gently shook it. “I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like I know you already.”

My brows shot up as I looked at Colt, then back to Judd. “I hope all good things.”

He laughed. “My wife and I were about ready to haul this boy back to Colorado ourselves when he finally told us he was heading home. Of course, I wanted it to be on better terms.” Turning to Colt, he said, “You mentioned on the phone that your father’s doing well?”

Colt nodded. “He’s doing great. They’re glad I’m home, and so am I.”

Judd looked at me and winked. “I bet he is. Everyone at the ranch told him that he was a lovesick fool and needed to get his ass back to Colorado.”

I smiled at Colt. “Is that so?”

“Sure is,” Judd stated. “Talked about you all the time.”

Colt clapped his hands. “So, how long is the flight today?”

Judd chuckled. “Nice change of subject. We’re looking at around two hours and twenty minutes. The weather’s clear the whole way. They are talking about a small storm that could move through on Monday, though.”

“Will that delay us in leaving on Tuesday?” Colt asked.

Judd shook his head. “I think it’ll move through fast. If anything, we might be delayed a few hours,” he assured us. “You two make yourselves at home. We’ll have one other pilot and one flight attendant. She’s my daughter, so if she isn’t doing her job, you let me know.”

“Lori did decide to join us?” Colt asked.

Judd nodded. “She did.”

I couldn’t help but notice the strange expression that crossed over Colt’s face. If I hadn’t been looking at him, I would have missed it.

“Speaking of!” Judd said, as he walked over and hugged a woman who’d just walked up the steps and boarded the cabin. When they stepped apart, she glanced our way. She looked at me first, then Colt. Something flashed in her eyes as she smiled his way.

“Colt, it’s nice seeing you again.”

My gaze bounced between the two of them. Lori looked to be around Emeline’s age. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a low bun, and her eyes were the color of the sky. She was stunningly beautiful. She quickly got to work stowing her bag and moving into the cabin.

“Can I make you a drink? Orange juice or mimosa?” she asked me with a polite smile.

I shook my head. “No, thank you.”

Her gaze moved to Colt. “Colt?”

“No, thanks, Lori. I’m good for now.”

She nodded as she started to put the bottles under the cabinet. “We’ll be taking off as soon as Judd finishes his check of the plane. Do either of you need anything before that?”

My mouth felt dry, and I had a hard time forming words, so I just shook my head and slowly sat down on the sofa. I was seriously nervous about flying in this small plane…but now I also couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something between Colt and Lori.

I knew I was being ridiculous. I’d slept with other guys during the last ten years, and I couldn’t expect Colt to have been celibate. I tried hard to push those thoughts from my head.

“There are belts there, as well as on the single chairs. I would suggest the chairs for takeoff, they’re more comfortable.”

“Thank you,” I managed to get out, but it sounded hoarse.

“Ma’am, would you like a bottle of water?”

I nearly sagged with relief. “Yes. That would be nice. And please, call me Ensley.”

Lori gave me a smile before walking to the front and returning seconds later with two bottles. One for me, one for Colt.

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Is this your first time on a private jet?”

“How can you tell?” I asked with a laugh.

Winking, she replied, “Because it’s not my first time. My husband hates flying, and when he accompanies us on the jet, he usually has to take a little something to help him calm down. If you change your mind about a drink, you’ve still got time to take the edge off.”

“You’re married?” I wasn’t sure why I needed that clarification.

Lori beamed. “Going on three years. He works on my father’s ranch.” Motioning with her head toward Colt, she added, “Colt was his boss the last couple of years.”

I nodded, taking a sip of water.

Lori took a few steps back. “I’ll be prepping for the flight, but if you need anything, just give me a call.”

Colt knelt in front of me, cupping my face with his hands. “Are you going to be okay, Pip?”

Closing my eyes, I drew in a few deep breaths. “I think so. I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

“I promise we’ll be fine.”

Nodding, I replied, “I know we will. I just need a few minutes. Once we get into the air, I’ll be okay.” I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew, Lori was gently shaking me. I opened my eyes and quickly looked around. Colt was in the chair across from me, his head buried in his laptop. When I looked back at Lori, she was smiling.

“We’re going to be pushing back from the gate, so I need you to buckle up.”

I quickly fumbled to get my seat belt. “Yes, of course. I’m so sorry.”

“No worries. I’ll be right up front if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Lori.”

I watched as she headed toward the cockpit. She said something to her father, turned and sat in a small seat, and buckled herself in.

Judd came over the speakers, and Colt shut his laptop.

“Okay, kids, sit back and enjoy the flight.”

“How many times have you flown on this plane?”

Colt smiled. “Over a dozen times.”

“No issues?”

He tilted his head and regarded me. “Pip, do you really think I’d put you in danger?”

I chewed nervously on my lower lip. “No, but I can’t help but be nervous.”

Reaching across the narrow aisle, he motioned for me to take his hand. I laced my fingers with his.

“I promise you, everything will be fine.”

The plane jerked forward, and I looked out the window to see that we were taxiing toward the runway. I closed my eyes, dropped my head against the back of the seat, and prayed like I’d never prayed before.

I’d always been a nervous flyer, so I wasn’t surprised by what I was feeling. Colt started talking, but I kept my eyes tightly closed.

“Do you want me to tell you where we’re staying?”

I opened one eye and glanced over, causing him to laugh.

“That might make me feel a bit better.”

“We’re staying at the Fairmont Banff Springs. We’ll be in the Crown Suite.”

A thrill of excitement raced through my body, and I quickly forgot all about being on the small plane. “Is there Wi-Fi on this plane?”

Colt let out a roar of laughter. “Can you just be surprised?”

Sighing, I replied, “I can, but it would be a nice distraction.”

He shook his head, looking out the window. The pilot came on and said we’d been cleared for takeoff. Ten minutes later, we were in the air, and I was finally breathing a sigh of relief.

“Why did you pick Banff for our second first date?”

Colt glanced over and smiled. “There’s something about Banff that makes me feel calm. The whole reason I went there is because Grady said you loved it there. That’s the reason Grady wanted to see Banff, so…I guess I went because of you both.”

Turning in my seat to face him more, I asked, “You went to Banff because I mentioned it to Grady once?”

He winked. “I did.”

I reached across the aisle for his hand again. “Thank you for doing this. You didn’t have to go through so much trouble, Colt. I feel a bit guilty now.”

He chuckled. “Don’t. It’s the least I can do to make up for all the lost time.” Colt unbuckled and stood, not letting go of my hand. He motioned for me to do the same and, once I was unbuckled, he drew me up and pulled me close. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. He smelled like pine and spice, and I took a deep breath.

“This is going to be an amazing weekend, no matter what you have planned.”

He drew back and looked down at me. “I sure hope so. I only had a week to plan all of this.”

“Well, the private plane is a nice touch, even if I was terrified at first.”

Colt chuckled. “So you’re fine now?”

“I am, until it comes time to land. Then it’s a whole other story!”

“Well, we have a couple hours to kill. What do you want to do?”

Glancing around the plane, I said, “I’ve never been on a private plane before. Do we just sit here and drink and eat snacks?”

“We could do that. Or we could grab some playing cards.”

My brows shot up. “Playing cards, you say?”

A wide grin appeared on his face. “I’m glad to see some things haven’t changed.”

Glancing toward Lori, I smiled when she met my gaze. “Hey, Lori…do you know how to play poker?”

Colt

The rest of the flight was filled with laughter and a lot of losing hands of poker. Not for Ensley, but for Lori and me.

“It’s a good thing we were playing with Monopoly money,” Lori stated, as we quickly cleaned up our mess. We would be landing in fifteen minutes.

“That was so much fun!” Ensley said, as she tucked the last bit of Monopoly money back into their slots.

After getting the cabin ready to land, Lori smirked at Ensley and said, “Remind me to give you a call the next time I go to Vegas.”

Laughing, Ensley said, “I’ve never been to Vegas.”

With a surprised expression on her face, Lori said, “Well, you’d most likely have the attention of the house right off the bat with how good you are at poker.”

We soon settled back into our seats, and Ensley’s previously relaxed body started to show signs of anxiety as we prepared to land.

“You okay?” I asked, drawing her attention away from the window.

With a forced smile, she replied, “I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

“Takeoffs and landings were never my favorite parts of flying.”

“We’ll be on the ground before you know it.”

She nodded, then stared out the window again.

Ten minutes later, we’d landed. Once the plane came to a full stop, Lori joined us.

“I have so enjoyed being able to fly you both to Banff.”

“Thank you so much, Lori,” Ensley said, hugging her tightly.

Smiling, she replied, “I think this was the best flight I’ve ever worked. I had so much fun.”

“Will you be flying back with us on Tuesday?” Ensley asked.

“I will. I think we might see each other before then, though,” Lori said, as she glanced my way.

“Really?” Ensley asked, looking between us.

“I was hoping we could swing by the Lazy T and I could show you around.”

Ensley’s eyes lit up. “I’d love that.”

After gathering up our things, we made our way through the airport and to the rental car desk. The drive to Banff was about ninety minutes full of gorgeous scenery. We stopped and ate lunch along the way and got to the hotel just in time for check-in.

“This is stunning,” Ensley said, as we drove down the long drive. “It looks like a castle!”

I smiled as I heard the excitement in her voice.

“Have you ever stayed here before?”

“No, but a good friend of mine is one of the managers.”

I could feel her eyes on me. “You sure made a lot of friends while living in Banff.”

Laughing, I replied, “I guess I did.”

We pulled up in front and handed the car over to the valet before heading into the lobby. Checking in, we received our key cards and were reminded that the suite we were staying in was accessed from outside.

We walked up the steps, unlocked the door—and the moment we walked into the room, Ensley and I both drew in a sharp breath.

“Oh my gosh! Colt!” She spun in a circle when she walked into the living area. “This is…this is…”

“Beautiful,” I supplied.

“I’ve never stayed in a place so amazing!” There was a fireplace in the corner of the room, which Ensley was already bending down to inspect. “I can’t wait to see a fire in this thing!”

A large TV hung above the mantel and was already on, displaying scrolling pictures of the hotel and the surrounding area. There were two sofas, a coffee table and a chair with a side table in the living room. One of the sofas was up against a window that looked out over the mountains and a river running through the valley below. It was so picturesque, it didn’t look real.

A small kitchen sat on the other side of the room. As I walked that way, Ensley made a quick dash into the bedroom. Thirty seconds later, I heard her call out my name.

“Colt! Get in here!”

Laughing, I headed that way. She was standing in the large bathroom, staring out the window at yet another amazing view.

“I want to take a bath tonight and stare out this window at the stars.”

I wrapped my arms around her, and she leaned against me. “That sounds nice.”

Turning her head, she gazed at me over her shoulder. “Will you join me?”

“Oh no…remember what you said?”

Spinning around to face me, she asked, “What did I say?”

“No sex on our second first date.”

Laughing slightly, she blushed. “That’s right. I did say that.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d be feeling after the flight, and what you might be up for, so I planned a light day for the rest of today.”

Smiling, she leaned against the marble countertop. “What’s the plan?”

“Well, I figured we could take a drive around, see the area. If you’d like to see the ranch I worked on today, we’ve been invited for dinner there this evening.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

Nodding, I said, “Perfect. Dress comfortable and make sure you bring your gloves, hat, and scarf. You never know about the weather around here, so I’d like to be prepared.”

Saluting me with her right hand, she said, “Sir, yes, sir!”

“This place is heaven. I forgot how beautiful it was here,” Ensley said, as we drove along the river that followed the road. “I love River Falls, but I can see why you stayed here as long as you did. There’s something very peaceful about Banff.”

“There is.”

“The snow-covered mountains are gorgeous. I mean, when you stand and look down the main street and see that stunning peak just jutting up? Breathtaking! Why do you think they look so different here than back home?”

Smiling, I replied, “I think it’s the jagged edges. Plus, they’re taller.”

We drove for a few minutes in silence before Ensley said, “I’ve really enjoyed today. The Big Bear Trading Company reminded me of my father’s store back home.”

“Yeah, it really does.”

“I think my favorite activity, though, was stopping by the craft beer festival. Gatlin would have loved that. I’ll have to tell him about it.”

The ranch was coming up on the left, so I slowed and put my turn signal on. “We’re here.”

“Wow! This is out in the middle of nowhere,” Ensley said with a laugh.

I pulled into the driveway and stopped as Ensley leaned forward and looked out the window.

“Holy shit.”

I nodded. It was a very impressive entrance, with two large rock pillars flanking the double gates. Each gate was made of intricately carved black steel. The landscaping around the entrance was amazing, as well, even in the winter. The ranch name, the Lazy T, stretched across the top of the gates, and in the middle was the name Murray.

“Pretty amazing, isn’t it?”

“Caden would love to see this. I’ve never seen such a fancy entrance to a cattle ranch before.”

I chuckled. “There’s a reason Judd flies around on a private jet.”

She glanced at me. “I guess so.”

After punching in the code, I waited for the gates to open, then pulled through.

“There are a number of houses on the ranch. The main house is where Judd and his wife, Karen, live. They have four kids—Lori, Lenny, Louie, and Lynda.”

“Themed names, cute.”

“None of them work on the ranch.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged. “Not interested, I guess. Lenny does some work for the ranch. Financial stuff. But nothing to do with the day-to-day running of the ranch itself.”

“So, who will take on the ranch once Judd retires?”

I blew out a breath. “I’m not sure. Judd and I became pretty good friends, but I never asked, and he never shared. He doesn’t get along with his other son, Louie. He’s had to cut him off, and I guess he didn’t like the fact that their father made him act like a grown-ass man. He packed up and left a few years ago and hasn’t been back. And as far as Lynda goes, I’ve only met her a couple of times, and the only thing she loves on the ranch is her horse.”

Ensley frowned. “I can’t imagine Caden and Gatlin not being a part of the ranch. Or any of us not talking to our parents.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“Lori seems to have a good relationship with her father, though.”

Nodding, I replied, “She does, yes. She isn’t interested in the ranch, or at least the running of it. She enjoys flying and riding horses…and she’s a big fan of spending money.”

I could feel Ensley’s eyes on me. “How do you know that?”

“Judd. He adores his daughter, though, and because she does work for him when he flies, and she also works for another family, he tolerates her love of his money.”

We drove in silence as Ensley stared out the window at the rolling pastures that were covered in cattle.

My cellphone rang, and I stopped. “Shit. Let me grab this. I don’t want to lose my signal.” I quickly accepted the call. “Hello?”

“Colt, it’s Katie.”

“Hey, Katie, how’s it going?”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Ensley turn to look at me.

“I wanted to let you know the police have found Ryan. He’s been arrested and is going before the judge on Tuesday. He’s been denied bail since they feel he’s a flight risk.”

Closing my eyes, I released a huge breath. “That’s amazing news. Where was he?”

“He was living in a small town in Maine. He got pulled over for speeding…and drinking and driving. Because of the warrant out for his arrest, they got him. The guy isn’t getting out of jail anytime soon.”

I smiled. I wanted this guy to pay for what he did to my father.

“Thanks, Katie. I’m glad to hear they got him. I’m out of town until Tuesday, but I can come in and meet with you and see where things will go next with Ryan.”

That really caused a reaction from Ensley. She turned in her seat to face me.

“Sounds good, Colt. Will talk soon.”

Nodding, I said again. “Thanks so much.”

“Talk to you soon, Colt.”

I hit End and looked at Ensley. “They found Ryan and he’s in jail.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “What? How?”

“Dad and I filed that police report and they put a warrant out for his arrest. He got pulled over in Maine and he’s in jail. I’m going to meet with Katie when we get back. I’m guessing they have to get him back to Colorado first.”

“Justice will be served for your parents. This is great news!”

I nodded. “That fucker isn’t going to get away with what he did to my father.”

“I’m sure your father will be happy to hear the news, as well.”

Rubbing at the instant ache in my neck, I said, “Let’s put all of that aside for now. I just want to focus on this weekend.”

A wide smile grew over her beautiful face. “It’s a deal.”

We started back down the drive.

“Where are the horses?”

“They’re usually on the south side of the ranch. Every now and then, you might see a few sprinkled around the pastures near the cattle, but they’re mostly kept to one side.”

“Quarter horses?” she asked.

“The working horses for the ranch are, yes. But Judd has a large number of Arabians. Lori shows them, and she also does show jumping. They have a few for pleasure riding and for trail rides. But they have a few others that are pampered like you would not believe. He has one, Midnight Star, that’s valued at over two-million dollars.”

Ensley gasped. “Why?”

“Comes from a prized bloodline and is a world-champion show horse.”

She let out a disbelieving laugh. “Do they keep him in a locked barn?”

I turned down the main road. “They do—and there’s an armed guard posted outside of his stall twenty-four-seven. Even follows when they ride him.”

Ensley shook her head. “More money than sense.”

Laughing, I turned down the drive that led to Judd and Karen’s house. “Something like that.”

We were soon pulling up and parking.

“Wow. I don’t know which is more stunning. Our castle-like hotel or this mansion of a house.”

“Let me get your door for you,” I said, before jumping out and jogging around the front of the rental truck. I opened her door and Ensley slipped out, reaching back inside for her coat.

“Hey, guys, I have some bad news.”

We both turned to see Lori walking toward us.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Is everyone okay?”

Smiling, she held up her hands. “Everyone’s fine, except for a broken arm and hurt pride.”

I raised my brows.

“Mom fell off a new mare that just arrived last week. Dad brought her to the hospital, and she’s heading in for surgery now.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” Ensley said.

Lori squeezed Ensley’s hand. “Thank you so much. This isn’t the first time my mother has broken her arm, hence the surgery. She was actually barely healed from the last one.”

“What?” Ensley asked, glancing between Lori and me.

“She broke it about six months ago,” I explained, “falling off a different horse.”

“Never fell off a horse in her fifty-five years on this Earth before that fall several months back.” Lori shook her head. “I would have called, but you changed your number.”

“Sorry about that. Your dad has the new number.”

She gave me a warm smile. “It’s okay. I’m going to head to the hospital. Dad said to please show Ensley around the ranch, make yourself comfortable, and if you want to go into the house, I’ll keep it open for you.”

Holding up my hands, I said, “No need to do that. I’ll give Ensley a little tour, and we’ll head back into town and grab dinner.”

Lori exhaled. “I’m really sorry about this, guys.”

“Please,” Ensley said. “Don’t even worry about it. I hope everything will be okay with your mom.”

“I’m sure it will be,” Lori said, before taking a few steps back. “I’m gonna head inside and grab my stuff.”

“Tell your mother I hope she recovers quickly.”

Nodding, Lori said, “Will do! Enjoy your stay here, Ensley. See you both Tuesday morning.”

“Thank you and hope all is well!”

I turned to face Ensley. “We have a bit of sunlight left if you want to drive around the ranch.”

“Yes! I’d love that!”

We drove around the ranch, and I showed her where I had lived the last five years, the barn, and a few spots on the ranch that were my favorite areas.

“It’s so beautiful here, Colt. I can see why it would be hard to leave this place.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I learned a lot about myself and about cattle ranching on this place. If I didn’t love horses so much, I might consider getting into the cattle business.”

Ensley glanced around. “They certainly make a lot of money from it.”

“That they do. Are you hungry? I’m starved.”

“What do you say we grab takeout from somewhere, go back to the hotel, and relax? I didn’t realize how tired I was until just now.”

Ensley could’ve had no idea how amazing that sounded, and I was forever grateful she’d suggested it.

“That sounds perfect. Pizza?”

Her eyes lit up. “If you know of a place that has a stromboli, I’m totally down for that.”

I let out a short bark of laughter. “Do I know a place? Hell yes, I do! I’m about to take you to heaven, Pip.”

A slow smile spread across her face. “With a stromboli?”

“Yes! Just you wait.”

Ensley

I took the last bite of my stromboli and closed my eyes. I was so sad my meal was over. “Oh my gosh, that was amazing!

“I told you it was good.”

When I looked at Colt, I smiled. “I don’t know why I ever doubted you.”

“Do you want me to look into renting a movie?” he asked as he reached for my plate.

Glancing toward the bathroom, my lower stomach pulled with desire…and it wasn’t for a bath, but that would serve my ultimate goal.

I stood. “I have a better idea.”

Wiping his hands with a paper towel, he focused back on me. “Oh yeah? What are you thinking?”

“A hot bath.”

A wide grin appeared on his handsome face. “Want me to start the water for you? We should have thought about getting you some bubbles.”

My chest fluttered as I followed him through the bedroom and into the beautiful en suite. It looked like it should be in a spa magazine; it was that beautiful.

As he started the water, I quickly got undressed. When I leaned back against the marble sink, I drew in a quick gasp. I hadn’t expected it to be that cold. Biting my lip, I let myself get used to the chilly surface as Colt got the temperature right for the bath.

He stood, turned—and froze. His eyes slowly perused my body, turning dark with desire, and he licked his lips. My lower stomach pooled with heat as his hungry gaze pierced mine.

He whispered my name. “Ensley.”

“Have I changed much in the last ten years?” I asked, twirling a blonde curl with my finger.

Colt took a step closer and started to reach out his hand…then balled it into a fist. “You are breathtaking. And you have changed. You’re even more stunning now than ever before.”

My cheeks heated while my heart felt like it was going to hammer right out of my chest.

Nodding my head toward his balled fists, I said, “But not stunning enough to want to touch me?”

He swallowed hard. “You said no sex on the second first date.”

Smiling, I pushed off the counter and took one step toward him. “I changed my mind. I think we’ve waited long enough…don’t you?”

Colt nodded his head as he held out his hand. I placed mine in it, and he drew me closer. Then his mouth was on mine with such fiery passion, I nearly melted into a puddle. The feel of his rough hands on my skin sent ripples of excitement through my entire body.

Pulling back, I drew in deep breaths. “I want you, Colt. Now.”

Without even giving him time to answer, I frantically started pulling his shirt up and over his head, as he worked on getting his jeans undone while attempting to kick off his boots at the same time.

Once his shirt was off, my hands roamed over his chest and down to his insanely perfect abs. The man was in good shape ten years ago; now he was built like a Greek god.

“My God, how many sit-ups do you do each day?”

Laughing, Colt hopped on one foot as he tried to take off his jeans. “It’s called manual labor.”

I chewed on my lower lip as I waited to see him fully naked.

“You’re going to fall and end up in that tub, Colt.”

He finally got the jeans off and stood before me in nothing but his boxer briefs. I ran my fingernail down the hard length of him and smiled when he let out a moan.

“Would you be upset if we held off on that bath?” I asked, cupping his hard length in my hand.

He responded by giving me a wicked smile before bending and scooping me up into his arms. I let out a small scream before throwing my head back and laughing.

Before I knew it, he was placing me on the bed, spreading my legs, and kissing up my thigh.

A soft gasp slipped from my lips as I grabbed at the bed cover. “Yes. Colt, please.”

“Tell me what you want, Ensley.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I’d missed this intimacy. Colt had always brought out a side of me that no one else ever had. Sex with other guys had been just that—sex. I’d never allowed anyone else to give me oral, and I never, ever talked during sex. It was a transaction between me and the guy, mutual satisfaction. Nothing more. I couldn’t let it be more because the only man I’d ever wanted to have that connection with was Colt.

“Ensley,” he growled.

“I want you to…” My words faded. I suddenly felt shy for some reason.

When he lightly bit the inside of my thigh, I nearly came on the spot.

“Tell me.”

When I opened my eyes and lifted my head, he was staring at me.

“Tell me exactly what you want me to do, sweetheart.”

I swallowed and felt a rush of wetness between my legs. “Fuck me with your mouth.”

His eyes turned dark as the corner of his mouth lifted into a smile. Then he was there. Licking and sucking as I squirmed on the bed. My fingers sliced through his hair, and I pulled him closer as I rocked my hips into his movements.

He slipped two fingers inside of me, and I knew it wouldn’t take much more.

“Yes! Oh God, yes—Colt! I’m going to come!”

My back arched off the bed as one of the strongest orgasms of my life ripped through my body in a pleasure so intense, I thought for sure I was going to black out.

“I can’t! Stop! It’s too much,” I cried, as I finally attempted to move away from him.

He pulled me back to his mouth and licked again, causing another round of shudders to move through my body. At this rate, I was positive I was going to die from orgasm overdose.

When he drew back, I opened my eyes. He took off his boxers, and I licked my lips as his impressive length stood at attention, bobbing against his perfectly toned stomach.

“I need to grab a condom, Pip.”

Forcing my stare away from his dick, I looked at him. “I want to feel you, Colt. No barriers.”

“Are you on the pill?”

I slowly shook my head. “I stopped taking it because I was going to do IVF.”

Colt crawled over my body and took my mouth in a kiss that was so tender, I felt tears sting the back of my eyes. I closed them to keep the tears at bay.

“Do you want a baby, Ensley?”

My eyes were still closed, but I nodded.

“Do you want a baby…with me?” he whispered.

When I finally opened my eyes, I felt the tears fall. “I’ve only ever loved you, Colt. I can’t imagine ever loving another man.”

He placed his hands on both sides of my head and looked into my eyes. “I love you, too, Ensley. Are you sure?”

My fingers moved lightly down his back. “It’s probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever wanted, but yes. I’m sure. If you’re—”

He positioned himself and pushed inside of me in one quick movement, before I even finished speaking. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Ensley. I want every moment with you. Every memory. Everything—I want it.”

“And if it happens?”

Smiling, he kissed the tip of my nose. “Then I’ll be the happiest man alive. I don’t want to waste one more minute waiting on us. On our future.”

I ran a finger down the side of his face and smiled. “Then you better get busy.”

Laughing, he slowly pulled halfway out of me, then plunged back in.

“I don’t want slow and tender, Colt. I need you. All of you. Fast and hard.”

“Anything for you, my love. Anything.”

True to his word, Colt gave me exactly what I asked for. He moved fast and hard, and soon our bodies were covered in sweat. The sounds of our lovemaking filled the room, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I felt whole again.

The missing part of me was finally home.

“God, Ensley! I’ve missed you so much. I’ve missed this,” he managed to say, as he moved even faster inside of me.

“Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop!”

He rose to his knees, gripping my hips. The different angle was just what we both needed.

“I’m close, baby. Fuck, I’m so close, Pip!”

I grasped for something to hold on to as the buildup began.

“Colt! Oh—I’m going to come!”

“I’m coming, Ensley. Fucking hell! It feels so damn good.”

When Colt thrust one final time and stopped moving, he fell forward and we embraced tightly, our breaths deep and fast.

“We…came…together,” Colt gasped, before he peppered kisses along my jaw. “I love you, Ensley.”

I ran my fingers through his hair when he lifted his head to look at me. “I love you, too…and that was…”

We both laughed.

“I don’t have words to describe how good that felt,” I finally said.

Colt moved off of me and I instantly missed his warmth. “Stay right there.”

Throwing my arms over my head, I stretched and said, “I couldn’t move if I wanted to!”

I heard the shower turn on and, moments later, heard Colt. “Let’s take a shower.”

My head fell to the side. “I’m limp. I’m so relaxed, I don’t think I can stand.”

Laughing, he walked back into the bedroom, naked as the day he was born, picked me up, and carried me to the bathroom.

“No bath?” I giggled.

“Shower sex sounds much better.”

I arched my brows. “I don’t think you’re going to be able to perform that quickly.”

With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he stepped into the large shower. “Give me five minutes.”

I opened my eyes to find sunlight streaming into the room. My body ached in the most delicious of ways as I stretched. I turned to the side and saw I was alone. I sat up, stretched once more, and climbed out of bed. Picking up my phone, I gasped when I saw the time was a few minutes after nine.

With a quick look around, I saw one of Colt’s button-down shirts and quickly slipped it on before making my way out of the bedroom.

Colt was standing at the large window, looking out, holding a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“I thought you might like to sleep in, since I kept you up half the night making love to you.”

I smiled and leaned my forehead against his back. “I rather enjoyed it. All four times.”

He turned and smiled at me. “I did, as well.”

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“First, coffee and breakfast.”

I closed my eyes. “That sounds like heaven. I’m starved!”

“Then, I have us booked for a hike in Johnston Canyon. It’s in the Banff National Park, and it’s one of the most amazing places I’ve ever been. I really think you’ll love it. I went there a lot while I lived here. I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt Grady’s presence every time I visited. It’s strange since he was never there, but…I still felt him. As I said, I can’t explain it.”

Excited at the idea of spending time in a place that meant so much to Colt, I softly smiled and said, “Let me go change and we can head out. We can grab a quick breakfast to-go somewhere if we don’t have much time.”

“We’ve got plenty of time. Our hike isn’t until after lunch.”

“Even better!”

After Colt fussed about dressing warm with lots of layers, we finally headed out to a darling little café, where we had the most delicious breakfast. We stopped by an antique store and looked around for a bit before Colt said it was time to head out.

“This is so beautiful,” I said, as I took in the breathtaking view all around us as we neared the parking area for the trailhead.

He grinned. “We haven’t even gotten started yet. We’re going to start with the upper-falls hike. It’s about a mile and a half.”

As we made our way to the trail, I said, “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

“Right?” Colt said with a laugh.

The trail was a wooden plank trail with a railing on both sides of it. I had to admit, I was relieved, because the idea of slipping down the mountainside was not on my list of things to do today.

The canyon was stunning, with high rock walls leading to snow-covered pine trees that seemed to go on forever. A small river of water flowed alongside snow-covered banks, sounding so peaceful.

Once we reached the end of the wooden-paved trail, a large platform appeared. My mouth fell open and I gaped at the frozen waterfalls, with water still running behind them. The ice appeared to be blue in some spots.

“Colt, this is simply stunning.”

He smiled and took it in. Everywhere you looked was another frozen waterfall.

“The first time I saw this place,” he said, as he stared straight ahead at the largest waterfall, “I thought it would be the perfect place to ask you to marry me.”

My head snapped around to look at him. “What?”

He let out a soft, humorless laugh. “I had no idea if you were already married because I’d stupidly stopped asking my parents about you. Still, I told myself I’d feel it…here.” Placing a gloved hand against his jacket, over his heart, he closed his eyes. “I had no right to hope, or even dream, but something inside of me wouldn’t ever let you go, Ensley Wilde.”

Colt opened his eyes and turned to face me.

My heart started to pound, and although he was right, it would be the perfect spot to propose to someone, it wasn’t the right time for us.

Instead, he said, “This feels like the right place for us to rediscover each other again. Not just this exact spot where we’re standing,” he clarified, “but this whole trip. Sometimes when I’m with you, it feels like the ten-year gap never happened. But more often, I’m painfully reminded of my stupid decision to leave.”

“Colt.”

He held up a hand. “I know, we said we were moving on from the past, and I want to. I just can’t help but wonder what life would be like now if I’d never left.”

I drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Do you know what I think?”

Colt shook his head.

“I think that life dealt us the cards it did because we needed them.”

His brows shot up.

“If you had stayed and asked me to marry you, I would’ve said yes, and we would have gotten married super young. I might not have built up my business as much as I have, and you wouldn’t have experienced so much and built the life you did over the last ten years. I’m not blind; I can see you’re not struggling for money, Colt. The private jet? The beautiful hotel? Getting your parents out of debt.” I shrugged. “The last ten years have also brought pain, I won’t lie about that. Confusion and a lot of anger.”

Colt looked down and kicked at the snow.

I reached out and took his gloved hand in mine. “But I’m the type of person who believes that everything happens in life for a reason. We were put on a journey that separated us, but destiny brought us back together. She answered questions we both had, and put some of that pain and guilt to rest.”

“And if you’re pregnant?”

Smiling, I replied, “Then we deal with that if it happens. I don’t think it means we have to run off and get married.”

“I do want to marry you, Pip.”

“And I want to marry you. I want to build a future with you. I want us to be a team.”

He drew me forward and kissed me. When he pulled back, his eyes were filled with light once more, and he wore a warm smile. “I like the sound of that.”

I motioned back to the trail. “Let’s go to the lower section, I want to see the waterfalls up close.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

We hiked down the half-mile trail to the lower part of the falls. It was amazing to see frozen water on top with water rushing behind it. It fell into a crystal-clear blue pool that honestly left me breathless. The vista surrounding us was unlike anything I had ever seen, and I grew up in what I’d thought was the most beautiful place on Earth.

Colt stood beside me, his eyes roaming the frozen falls.

Clearing my throat, I said, “There’s a quote my mother used to always say to Emeline and me. It’s a Stevie Nicks quote.”

Colt chuckled. “Why am I not surprised. What is it?”

“I am here because all my plans failed. Don’t be afraid to do something unconventional.”

He nodded. “I remember hearing her say that before.”

Facing him, I bit my lower lip. “Ask me.”

The corner of his mouth twitched, and he did a good job at not smiling, even though I knew he wanted to. “Ask you what?”

I raised a brow, and in return, a wide smile erupted across his handsome face.

“Do you wonder why neither of us settled down with anyone else?”

“Is that what you wanted me to ask?”

Folding my arms over my chest, the best I could in my thick jacket, I said, “No, but it popped into my head.”

He shrugged. “I don’t have to wonder. I know why I never did.”

Amused, I replied, “Do tell.”

“Because I love you. I always have and I always will. I couldn’t have moved on if I wanted to. You’ve always owned my heart, Ensley, and I don’t think that’s ever going to change.”

Nodding, I replied, “Same.”

He pulled off his glove. “The thing I’ve always loved most about you, Ensley Wilde, is that you live up to your last name. Not in a crazy way.” Screwing up his face, he went on. “Well, maybe you did do a few wild things in your youth.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You always knew who you wanted to be, Pippa. You were never afraid to go after something, even when you were told you couldn’t. That’s what I’ve always admired in you.” He stopped and drew in a deep breath before letting it go on his next words. “Every single night when I lay in bed, I would sing ‘Silver Springs’ and that one verse in the song. I think you know which one.”

Closing my eyes, I put my hands to my chest. “‘Silver Springs.’ One of my favorite songs. I played that on constant rotation after you left.” I grinned. “That’s probably why you kept singing it to yourself.”

Colt chuckled. “Maybe you really did put a spell on me, Ensley Wilde.”

Laughing, I nodded. “Oh, I put lots of spells on your ass.”

He unzipped his coat pocket and pulled out a box. A blue jewelry box.

My heart started to pound in my chest and my hands began to shake.

Getting down on one knee, he opened the box and held it out. I gasped as I looked down at…a blue diamond?

I could hear other hikers around us now whispering.

“Oh my gosh, you’re really doing this?” I asked with what I was positive was a huge grin on my face.

Looking confused, he glanced around at the few people who were standing by watching, then focused back on me. “Um, you told me to ask you…so I’m asking.”

“Did you plan this?”

He shook his head. “Not really. But I have had ten years to come up with something amazing.”

A woman standing several feet to my right asked, “You waited ten years to ask her to marry you?!”

Colt and I both glanced at her.

“It’s a long story,” I said.

She nodded, then motioned for me to focus back on Colt.

“Don’t leave the poor boy waiting!” the woman standing next to her added.

When I turned back to Colt, he actually wore a worried expression.

I dropped down to my knees as I pulled off my gloves. “You crazy man! What in the world are you doing carrying around a ring in your jacket pocket?”

He grinned. “I don’t know. I guess just in case you did something unconventional, like told me to ask you to marry me!”

A bubble of laughter slipped free, and I cupped his face in my hands. “I love you, Colt Owens.”

“Is that a yes?”

Nodding my head like a mad woman, I threw my arms around him and cried out, “Yes, it’s a yes!”

Cheers erupted around us as I drew back and smiled at Colt.

“We should put it on your finger before I drop it.”

Choked laughter slipped free as I nodded once again. Colt took the emerald-shaped ring out of the box and slipped it onto my finger. It was a perfect fit.

He lifted my hand and kissed it. “I have a confession to make.”

I couldn’t pull my eyes off the large blue diamond. It was flanked on either side by smaller white baguette-cut diamonds, all set in what I assumed was a white-gold band.

Pulling my eyes off the ring, I asked, “What’s your confession?”

“This isn’t the original ring that I bought. That one was about an eighth of the size and it was a white diamond. I bought this in Granby before we left.”

Confused, I said, “You planned on asking me to marry you on this trip?”

Winking, he replied, “I had a feeling I needed to bring it with me, and I’m glad I did. Can you imagine what these people would have thought had I not had a ring?”

I threw my arms around him once again. “I’m glad I’m not the only wild one!”

Colt

Ensley and I sat on the sofa in Ladd and Vivianne’s house while both our parents stared at us. It was my mother who finally broke the silence.

“I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s long overdue. But you both just got back together. Are you sure you want to jump right into marriage? I’m sure you’ve both changed a lot in the last ten years.”

“Nonsense,” my father said. “Look at the two of them, Lynn. It was clear the moment Colt came back to town that nothing between them had changed.”

Ensley and I exchanged a look. She reached for my hand, and I held it tight as I turned back to our parents.

“We don’t want to waste another minute of this life. You might think it’s too soon, Mom, but I never stopped loving Ensley once in the last ten years.”

“And I never stopped loving Colt. As he said, we don’t want to waste another moment. Life is too short.”

“Yes, we’ve both changed, but our love for each other hasn’t.”

Vivianne stood and made her way over to us, reaching down for Ensley, who took her hand and stood.

“The only thing we care about is your happiness.” She looked down at me. “Both of you. If this is something you feel like you’re ready to do, we support you one-hundred percent.”

“Of course we do,” my mother added, joining them. I stood and hugged her. “I just want you both to be happy, as Vivianne said.”

Kissing her on the cheek, I replied, “Thank you, Mom.”

Vivianne took a step back and grinned. “Have you thought about a date?”

Ensley beamed. “Well, we were thinking of a spring wedding. Nothing big, just family, and we’d like to get married at the tree, like you and Dad did.”

Vivianne’s eyes filled with tears. “I think that’s a beautiful idea.”

Ensley and her mother hugged while Ladd quickly joined them. My father approached and held his hand out for mine.

“Congratulations, Colt. It truly feels like a new beginning for all of us.”

Mom nodded and leaned against my father. “It does.”

I hugged both of them. “I’m so sorry I was gone for so long.”

Holding up her hand, Mom said, “No more living in the past. We have a beautiful future to look forward to.”

Vivianne smiled as she said, “Is it too soon to start planning the wedding?”

“Yes, Mom. It’s going to be simple. Nothing big or fancy. Small.”

Nodding, Vivianne replied, “Got it. Small.”

Turning to my mother, Vivianne locked arms with her and the two women started walking toward the kitchen. “There’s so much to plan!” we heard Vivianne say. “Flowers, food. Backup plan in case it rains.”

“Reception inside or out?” my mother asked.

“Yes, we’ll need to think about that, as well.”

As the two of them walked away, I glanced at Ensley, who was scowling in her mom’s direction.

Ladd cleared his throat, obviously trying not to laugh. “I think now would be a great time to mention we got a new horse.”

And just like that, Ensley’s attention was on her father. “A new horse?”

He shot me a quick look, and I smiled. Anyone who knew Ensley knew that the easiest way to divert her attention was to mention anything about horses.

“Yes. We can take the side-by-side and go see it.”

“Count me in,” my father said.

Ensley turned to me, eyes filled with excitement. “You coming?”

“Heck yeah.”

And just like that, Ensley forgot all about our mothers, who had their heads together plotting the perfect small wedding.

The light knock on my office door had me lifting my head and smiling the moment I saw Ensley. Even though it was Christmas Eve, I had to finish up a few things before we headed to her parents. She stood there looking like an angel from above. Her blonde hair was pulled up, with curls piling on top of her head, a few hanging down around her face. She wore a white chiffon top and red pants, a white coat slung over her arm. She looked stunning. Even more beautiful than when I’d seen her earlier that day.

“Wow, you look beautiful.”

She let her eyes roam over me as she took in my black cowboy boots, black jeans, red sweater, and black cowboy hat.

“And you look handsome as all get out. I like that sweater.”

Glancing down, I grinned. “You should, you laid it out for me to wear.”

Laughing, she walked into the office, set her coat down on the chair, wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed me.

“I missed you.”

“It’s only been a few hours since I saw you last.”

She sighed. “Yes, that’s true, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about the way you woke me up this morning.”

Smiling at her, I waggled my brows. “We have time for a repeat.”

Acting shocked by my suggestion, she playfully hit me on the chest. “Colt Owens! We are in your family barn.”

Tightening my arms around her, I replied, “And we’re the only ones here. If you remember correctly, my mother and father went on a cruise. They were so bummed they missed the one with Gus and Nellie.”

“But my hair is all pretty, and look at my outfit.”

I let my eyes take her in slowly. “You do look gorgeous.”

“Save it for tonight?”

Letting out an exaggerated sigh, I said, “Fine. Are we staying at your place tonight?”

She nodded and smoothed her hands up my chest. “I assumed. You’ve been there every night. Do you think we should talk about whether you want to move in with me?”

I tilted my head in surprise. “Move in with you?”

With a half shrug, she replied, “We are getting married in April. You’re always at my place, so it only makes sense to me.”

Smiling, I cupped her face in my hands. “I’d love nothing more than to move in with you.”

Bouncing on her toes, she kissed me quickly, then said, “Okay! Well, I was thinking, what if we remodel the cabin and add onto it?”

I tossed my head back and laughed. “Wow, that escalated quickly. How did we go from me moving in to a major remodel and expansion?”

Her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink. “Well…we’re going to need the extra room.”

Shrugging, I said, “It is a pretty small place. It would be nice to have an office we could share.”

She nodded. “We did talk about merging our two businesses. A shared office is a great idea.”

“With the wedding and merging the businesses, do you think we should take on such a big project right now?”

Chewing on her lower lip, she took a step back. “Well, we kind of have to…probably the sooner the better.”

My brows drew down in confusion. “Really? Why?”

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a long white box. Handing it to me, she said, “This is why.”

I took the box, opened it—and just stared at what was inside.

When my gaze lifted to meet hers, a single tear was slowly making a path down her cheek. I glanced back at the box and smiled, then set it on my desk, tugged her into my arms, and hugged her tight.

“Ensley…oh my God!”

A sob that also sounded like a laugh came out, and she drew back to look at me. “Are you happy?”

I blinked a few times. “Am I happy? I’m fucking over the moon! How far along are you?”

“I don’t know,” she said with a laugh. “I missed my period earlier this month, and I’ve been feeling off. Maybe a few weeks? I was so nervous, I told Emeline I was late. She pulled me into her office, yanked open her desk drawer, and handed me a pregnancy test!”

Laughing, I said, “She just keeps them on hand?”

Wiping her tears away, she laughed, as well. “I guess so. Anyway, according to this, we’re going to have a baby.”

I ran my fingers through my hair. “I can’t believe it. Holy crap! There’s so much to do! So much to think about.” I started to pace. “We’re going to have to hire someone to help us remodel the house. I want the baby to have a playroom, and we need a family room. We should also add another bedroom, maybe two. What if we have twins? Do they run in your family? They don’t in mine, but we’d want the kids to have their own rooms—”

Ensley put a hand on my arm, and I stopped walking.

“Colt, take a breath.”

Inhaling deeply, I exhaled in a rush. “I’m sorry. I guess I had a moment there.”

She smiled. “I had that moment earlier today in Emeline’s office. She just laughed at me, the little brat.”

I took her hands in mine. “It’s early, and I know couples usually wait to tell anyone. Right?”

Nodding, she replied, “Emeline said at least until we get past the first trimester.”

“I think I’m going to faint. Will you be able to keep working? Fuck, Ensley, I don’t want a horse to kick you or anything!”

Her brows furrowed. “I’ve never in my life been kicked by a horse.”

“Never?” I asked, stunned. “Not once?”

She shook her head. “Not once.” She pointed at me. “Don’t you dare start telling me what I can and cannot do, Colt Owens.”

I held up both hands in a defensive move. “I would never do that, Pip. Ever.”

She drew in a deep breath of her own. “Now. We have to promise each other we keep this between the three of us.” She looked up in thought. “Four of us.”

“Four?”

Frowning, she replied, “If I know my sister, the second I left her office, she called and told Levi.”

I laughed. “I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

Ensley walked back up to me and placed her hand on my chest. “You’re really happy?”

Nodding, I leaned down and brushed a kiss across her lips. “I’m beyond happy. I love you.”

Her blue eyes sparkled as she said, “I love you more.”

All I wanted to do was pick her up and carry her somewhere that I could make love to her. But I knew that would have to wait. “We should get going before we’re late. You didn’t have to drive here, by the way. I thought we were meeting at your parents’ house?”

“I wanted to tell you the news alone. I didn’t want to risk telling you around the fam.”

With a slow shake of my head, I said, “I hope I don’t give it away.”

Ensley reached for her coat, and I helped her put it on. “Trust me, no one will be the wiser. And I trust Emeline to keep it to herself.”

I reached for my own coat, shut my office door, and locked it. “This has got to be the best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten.”

Lacing her hand in mine, Ensley agreed. “Best Christmas Ever.”

During the entire drive to River Falls Ranch, Ensley and I talked about what would be the best option regarding our living arrangements. Expand on the cabin? Build something new on River Falls Ranch, or on my family property? Or maybe buy our own place, with some acreage to settle on and put down roots? It was a lot to think about, on top of the news that we were expecting. We decided to put it to rest until after the holidays.

I pulled up and parked behind Caden’s truck. Turning to Ensley, I took her hand in mine. “You ready?”

She nodded. “What if I burst into tears when I see Jackson and Nellie?” she asked, referring to Emeline and Levi’s son, and Caden and Lilibeth’s daughter.

“You won’t, sweetheart.”

She wiped away a tear. “I’m already crying. What if something happens during the pregnancy?”

“Hey,” I said, placing my hand on the side of her face. “Don’t stress about that, Pip. Even if, God forbid, something does happen, we’ll keep trying.”

Nodding, she wiped at her face. “Is my makeup okay?”

“Your makeup is fine. You look beautiful. It looks like we’re the last ones here, though. Are you ready?”

Ensley drew in a few deep breaths before saying, “Okay, let’s go.”

Christmas Eve at the Wildes’ had changed since the last time I was in River Falls. It was usually chaotic while setting up the Christmas Day event for the local orphanage. That had recently been moved to a few days after Christmas, giving the Wildes time to celebrate with family and friends.

The second we stepped into the house, I drew in a deep breath and smiled. It smelled like Christmas. Memories from years past flooded my mind as Emeline quickly walked up and hugged her sister.

She hugged me next, then whispered in my ear, “Congratulations.”

Kissing her on the cheek, I said, “Thank you, Emeline.”

We were soon surrounded by family and friends. Conversations were going on all around me, and I took it all in. Ensley had a glow about her and a smile on her face that I was positive would be there all night.

Gus, Ensley’s grandfather, approached, and we soon fell into a conversation about cattle and, of course, horses. Nellie kissed me on the cheek and told me she’d hid some of the Oh My God brownies from Gatlin and Caden. She’d remembered they were my absolute favorite dessert. Of course, they were Gatlin and Caden’s, as well.

Levi walked up and bumped my arm. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

He nodded. “So.”

Forcing myself not to smile, I nodded back. “So.”

“Anything new to report?” he asked, before taking a sip of his beer.

“No. You?”

His head snapped back to me. “No?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you that bad at keeping a secret, Levi? I don’t remember that little fact about you.”

He smirked. “I’m not bad at keeping a secret, thank you very much.”

I shrugged. “Sure seems like it.”

Levi huffed, then looked around before leaning closer to me. “Can you keep one?”

Instantly intrigued, I nodded. “Go on.”

His eyes lit up with happiness. “Swear it stays between you and me? If Emeline finds out I told anyone, she’ll kill me.”

“As long as you promise not to tell anyone about our secret.”

He held out his pinky.

I stared at it in horror. “What the fuck, Levi. Are we ten-year-old little girls?”

Dropping his hand, he shot me a dirty look.

“Just tell me your secret!”

Taking my arm, he pulled us into a small corner of the living room and glanced around again. If anyone was watching us, they’d think we were about to do a drug deal or something.

“Lilibeth is pregnant too.”

My eyes widened. “Already?”

He nodded.

“Wait—how do you know?”

His cheeks turned red. “Caden told me, but he wasn’t supposed to.”

I slowly shook my head. “Jesus, none of you can keep a damn secret to save your life.”

“I can, too! I didn’t tell Caden that Emeline’s pregnant.”

My mouth dropped open. “Emeline is pregnant, too? What the hell is in the water on this ranch?”

He closed his eyes and cursed. “Shit. Shit. Shit! Emeline really is going to kill me. You cannot tell Ensley.”

“Why not? She told Emeline she suspected she was pregnant.”

His eyes darted around before focusing back on me. “That’s true. Okay, you can tell Ensley—but you have to tell her not to tell Emeline. She has to act surprised when Emeline tells her.”

“What are you two girls gossiping about over here?” Caden asked, popping up out of nowhere, prompting both Levi and me to let out girlish gasps.

“Don’t fucking sneak up on us like that, Wilde!” Levi barked. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“I see that,” Caden said with a smirk. “Again, what were you two gossiping about?”

“Nothing,” I said. As Levi said, “Pregnancy.”

Caden glared at him. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

Levi panicked for a second. Then blurted, “Ensley’s pregnant!”

“Levi!” I nearly shouted, as Caden turned and gaped at me.

“Holy shit! Are you serious?”

I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Shit! Yes. But you can’t say anything to anyone! I just found out myself less than an hour ago. She’s not that far along.”

Caden’s face erupted into a wide smile. “Emeline is pregnant, too.”

“Hey!” Levi said, as Caden grinned wickedly.

Levi shot him a look that screamed two can play at that game. “Yeah, well, so is Lilibeth.”

“Dude! I told you that in confidence.”

I closed my eyes and groaned. “Jesus, what is wrong with this family? Can none of you keep a secret?”

“Hey, I’m good at keeping secrets,” Levi stated matter-of-factly, which made Caden laugh.

“You’re terrible at keeping secrets.”

“Who’s keeping secrets about what?”

The three of us turned to see Gatlin standing there.

We all said in unison, “Nothing.”

His eyes bounced between the three of us before he took a sip of his beer, shrugged, and said, “Then I guess you don’t want to hear my secret.”

Gatlin turned to leave, but Caden grabbed hold of his shoulder. “What’s your secret?”

“I’m not telling you my secret until you tell me yours.”

Caden scowled at his brother. “It doesn’t work that way, Gatlin.”

Shrugging, he said, “Is that so? Okay, I’ll let you three girls get back to gossiping then.”

“Wait!” Levi said. “Seriously, what’s your secret?”

Raising a single brow, Gatlin asked, “What’s yours?”

Levi grimaced. “I can’t tell you.”

“Then I can’t tell you, either.”

“For the love of God, what in the hell is the matter with the three of you?” I said, unable to stay out of it. “You all suck at keeping secrets. Every single one of you.”

“Excuse me, but I do believe none of you know my secret.”

I pointed to him. “But you were ready to sell your secret for more secrets.”

He rubbed his chin. “You’ve got me there.”

Rolling my eyes, I said, “I’m going to go find Ensley.”

It didn’t take me long to find her in the kitchen. She was in a corner with Nellie and Vivianne, both women beaming at her.

“Oh no,” I whispered, as I made my way over.

“What’s going on?” I asked, wrapping my arm around Ensley. I’d missed whisking in and saving the day in moments like this. I’d happily be her hero for the night.

“My mother and grandmother have this crazy idea that I’m pregnant.”

My eyes widened as I glanced between the two of them. “How did you know?”

“Colt!” Ensley shouted. “Why?!”

Vivianne started to jump up and down, right along with Nellie.

“I can’t believe all three of my girls are pregnant at once!” Vivianne shouted—before slamming both hands over her mouth.

Ensley gasped. “What? Lilibeth and Emeline are pregnant again?”

“I’d really like to know what’s in the water on this ranch?” I interjected, and was promptly ignored by all three women.

“What’s going on in here?” Ladd asked, as he walked into the kitchen with Gus.

The four of us all cried out, “Nothing!”

Ladd held up his hands and took a few steps back. “Oookay. That’s our cue to head back out, Dad.”

Both men slowly started to back up, retreating from the kitchen.

I turned back and looked at Ensley. “Just so you know, no one in your family can keep a secret to save their life.”

She nodded. “That’s the truth.”

Ensley

“This is my favorite family tradition,” Emeline said, as she put everything for the hot chocolate on the trays. We had crushed candy canes, shaved chocolate, cinnamon sticks, mini marshmallows, sprinkles, and shredded coconut. It was something our great-grandmother, Lilith, had started.

“Too bad your uncles couldn’t all make it this year,” my mother said, as she poured hot chocolate into one of the three carafes.

Emeline stepped back and looked at her handiwork on the tray as she said, “Caden told me that Uncle David and Uncle Mike are retiring at the end of next year.”

Surprised, I asked, “They are?”

Mom nodded. “They told Caden and Gatlin they’ll be officially handing over the running of the ranch to them. They’ll stay on through the end of next year, but will be taking a pretty big step back.”

Emeline and I exchanged a smile. If I knew my two brothers, they were most likely flying high at the prospect of being in charge of running the ranch.

“And the horse side of the ranch?” I asked.

My mother looked at Emeline, then me. “Well, I mean, Emeline runs it now, but if you’d like a bigger part in—”

“No!” I said, cutting her off. “I don’t want anything to do with the running of the horse side of the ranch. I mean, of course, I’m always here to help you, Emeline. You know that.”

She smiled and nodded.

“But Colt and I are going to merge our businesses and make it one.”

“How exciting!” my mother said. “When did you decide this?”

I shrugged. “A couple of weeks ago.”

“And have you decided where you’re going to live?” Emeline asked.

I shook my head. “Not yet.”

“You know you’re more than welcome to build something on the ranch, Ensley. Once the baby comes, you’ll need more room.”

Moose, Emeline’s chocolate lab, came running into the kitchen and straight to Emeline. She bent down and kissed him on the nose. “Hello, my handsome boy. Looking for me, were you?”

He barked, and my mother and I both laughed.

“He’s come to tell you the men are ready for their hot chocolate,” Gatlin said, as he strolled into the kitchen.

“Well, grab a tray then and carry it in.”

“Just a warning, Dad put a Christmas movie on.”

We all rolled our eyes as Mom let out a groan. “Please tell me it’s not Die Hard.”

Gatlin laughed. “It is not Die Hard.”

“Please tell me it isn’t The Sound of Music,” Emeline said next, as she put her hands together in prayer.

Gatlin winced. “Sorry, sis. Lilibeth was the deciding vote, and you know she voted for TSOM.”

“TSOM?” I asked.

Looking at me like I’d hit my head, Gatlin replied, “The Sound of Music. Duh.”

“Oh, right,” I laughed.

“Come on, girls, let’s get this stuff out there and enjoy our hot chocolate and movie.”

Colt and I settled on the love seat, curled up under a blanket and sipping our hot chocolate. He seemed to be staring off into space, not paying attention to the movie.

I leaned closer and whispered, “Are you okay?”

He nodded and smiled…but it seemed forced.

I raised a brow.

“Thinking of Grady. Wishing he were here for all of this. He would have made a wonderful uncle.”

Lacing my fingers with his, I nodded. “He would have. I truly believe he’s looking down on us, though, and he’s happy for us.”

The corner of Colt’s mouth lifted slightly as he nodded. I squeezed his hand, and he looked at me.

“Do you want to leave?”

Colt glanced around the room, and a more genuine smile appeared on his face as he shook his head.

I followed his gaze and took in the sight before me. My mother and father were on the sofa, snuggled up under a blanket, just like me and Colt. Next to them were my grandfather and grandmother, both passed out cold. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

On the other sofa sat Caden and Lilibeth, the latter fast asleep as Caden raptly watched the movie he claimed to hate like it was his favorite movie in the entire world. On the floor, lying on a makeshift bed, were Levi and Emeline. Surrounding them were three of their kids, all fast asleep without a care in the world. Jackson and Nellie were asleep in the nursery upstairs.

My heart warmed as I let my eyes roam over my family. Just a few months ago, my heart could hardly bear to be around my family, simply because being with them reminded me of what I didn’t have. Now, with Colt by my side, I had a future full of just as much love to look forward to.

Turning to Colt, I said, “I want to show you something tomorrow, here on the ranch.”

He kissed my forehead. “Okay.”

Snuggling into his side, I drew in a breath and slowly let it out. Life certainly was beautiful. I closed my eyes and thought of Grady, and although it made me sad that he wasn’t here with us, I knew in my heart…he was.

Somewhere in the depths of my soul, I even heard his voice. “Life is beautiful, indeed.”

Christmas morning started with a fresh coat of snow on the ground. I’d woken up before Colt and made blueberry muffins, a breakfast quiche, and freshly squeezed orange juice. We didn’t have to be at my parents’ until nine for our Christmas breakfast with the family.

“Something smells good,” Colt said, as he tried to take a blueberry muffin.

I slapped his hand away. “That is for Christmas breakfast at my parents’ this morning. I was in charge of muffins, quiche, and OJ.”

He pouted and looked back down at the muffins.

Rolling my eyes, I said, “One, and that’s it.”

Smiling, he picked it up and took a bite. Closing his eyes, he moaned. “God, that is good—and it’s still warm!”

“I’m glad you’re dressed. Are you ready to head out?”

I glanced over to see him eyeing another muffin.

“Colt?”

Snapping out of his daze, he looked at me. “We’re leaving for your folks’ now?”

“No. Remember, I wanted to show you something.”

“That’s right. I’m ready if you are.”

“Make sure you bring a hat and gloves. We may have to walk in the snow.”

“Did it snow last night?”

“It’s still snowing.”

Shoving the rest of the muffin into his mouth, Colt walked over and grabbed his coat.

When he turned in a circle, eyes searching, I said, “They’re on the side table.”

Spotting his gloves and hat, he winked at me. “What would I do without you?”

“Pass that table six times looking for your gloves, most likely.”

He laughed as he slipped them into his coat pocket. “Are we driving?”

“Yep.”

Once we got into the truck, I told him where to head. We passed the camp and started toward the side of the ranch where the hands lived.

“Are we taking something to the guys?” Colt asked.

“Nope! There will be a left turn up here. I don’t know if the snow has covered the road yet or not.”

“Someone’s already been up and driving around,” Colt noted.

“Probably one of the ranch hands. I can’t remember who’s working today.” I pointed. “There—right there, see it?”

“Yep, I see it.”

He turned left and we drove a mile down before I spotted the next road. “Turn to the right.”

“Where are we going, Pip?”

Smiling, I said, “You’ll see.”

We drove another half mile before I told Colt to park. “Stop right here. We’ll have to walk the rest of the way.”

He parked in the middle of the road, turned off the truck, and slipped out. He jogged around and opened my door, holding his hand out to help me down. I zipped up my jacket, slipped my hat and gloves on, and drew in a deep breath. The air was crisp and clean.

“Okay, now where?”

Pointing toward a small hill covered in trees, I said, “We’re going there.”

He followed where I was pointing. Without another word, he started walking next to me.

We climbed up the hill, and when we got to the top, Colt stopped. “Wow. This is beautiful.”

Down below was River Falls River, meandering through the ranch like a road headed to the unknown.

In the distance was a mountain range covered in freshly fallen snow.

“After you left, I would come up here and watch the river run. I used to think I was just like that river. Some spots were calm; others were raging, as if in a rush to get somewhere. Like it was being called. For some reason, I felt connected to it. Just flowing through life, drifting toward…something. Or someone. It was when I sat on this very hill, looking down, that I felt the closest to you.”

“Me?” Colt asked softly.

Pulling my eyes from the river, I turned to him and nodded. “My grandfather was the one who first brought me here. I think he brought each of us to a different spot on the ranch, all his favorites. Now we all have one. Caden’s is this hidden lake where he and Lilibeth got married. Emeline’s is up in a meadow. And Gatlin…”

I shook my head. “I don’t know where Gatlin’s is. He’s never told anyone. Or at least, he’s never told me.”

Turning back to the river, I went on. “The first time my grandfather brought me here, he told me that river was drifting toward its destiny, and so was I. Some spots of the river, like life, would be easy. Other spots, I’d be fighting against the current. At the time, I didn’t understand what he was saying. But as I got older, his words made more and more sense.

“I never showed you this spot while we were dating because I wanted to keep it for myself a while longer. A place where I could go to feel peace.”

“Did it bring you peace, being here?”

Nodding, I said, “It did. Like I said, it made me feel connected to you.” I let out a laugh. “I’m not sure why, since I never brought you here. But somehow…it did.”

Turning to face him once more, I said, “I also feel closer to Grady here, though he never got to see it, either. Maybe it’s the river below, or the endless views of the ranch for miles and miles, but this place is…special.”

He smiled. “I can feel that.”

My heart started to pound in my chest. What if he thought my idea was stupid? I drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled.

“Last night, my mother said we could build anywhere on the ranch, if we wanted to.”

Colt smiled once again. “You want to build a house here?”

I nodded. “I do.”

Taking a step closer, he took off his gloves and pushed them into his pocket. I did the same. We took each other’s hands, and Colt looked into my eyes. His were filled with love, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was being lifted off the ground and floating on a cloud of happiness.

“I think this is the perfect spot to start our life together, Ensley Wilde. To raise a family. I can already picture us sitting on rocking chairs years from now, two old people watching the sunset.”

I chuckled. “I can see that, too.”

He placed his hand on the side of my face, leaning down and gently brushing a kiss across my lips. When he drew back, he rested his forehead against mine.

“This journey called life, that you and I have been on, has brought us to this very moment, and this very spot.”

“It has,” I whispered.

“We’re finally home, Pippa.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them, I felt the heat of my tears move down my cheek. I said the only word I could manage.

“Home.”

Ensley

Our parents stared at the three of us, both with expressions of pure joy.

“So, let me get this right,” Mom chuckled. “Emeline, you’re due August 7th?”

Emeline nodded.

“And Lilibeth, you’re due August 9th?”

Lilibeth giggled. “Yep!”

“Are you two competing with each other?” my father asked.

“Sure seems like it, doesn’t it?” Emeline laughed.

They all turned to look at me. “And you’re due September 8th?”

“That’s what they tell me,” I replied with a wink.

“Goodness, we’re going to go broke with all of the grandkids’ birthdays within one month of each other,” my mother joked.

My father looked at me and asked, “Have you and Colt decided on the wedding?”

Smiling, I said, “We’re going to skip the wedding and just focus on building the house. With us merging our businesses, the baby, building a house, it’s a lot.”

My mother reached for my hand. “You know we will support you both in any way we can.”

Squeezing her hand, I replied, “Thank you, Mom. Colt and I decided we’re going to just go to the courthouse and get married. Nothing big, just simple. We’ve waited so long for all of this that it just makes sense to do it this way.”

“When?” my father asked.

I chewed nervously on my lower lip before I answered. “Next Monday.”

“I don’t blame you one bit, Ensley. The two of you have waited a long time for this moment.”

“Thank you, Mom. I know you and Lynn were looking forward to the wedding.”

She waved off my worry.

“Do we at least get to throw you a shower for the wedding?” Emeline asked.

I laughed. “I mean, I guess we could.”

“You’re going to need things for the new house!”

Emeline jumped with excitement. “We could do it on Valentine’s Day!”

Lilibeth let out a squeal. “That is a great idea! That gives us, what…four weeks to plan the shower.”

“That’s plenty of time!” Emeline responded.

Mom slowly shook her head. “The three of you, all pregnant at the same time. This is so lovely.”

“Who wants a bowl of ice cream?” Dad asked as he stood.

“Me!” Lilibeth and Emeline both replied.

“Not for me, Dad. My stomach is a bit uneasy.”

He leaned down and kissed my forehead before heading into the kitchen. Lilibeth and Emeline were on his heels talking about everything they wanted with their ice cream.

“Do you have sardines, Ladd?” Lilibeth asked as Emeline gagged.

I looked at my mother. “Did she just ask for sardines with her ice cream?”

Laughing, my mother replied, “She had weird cravings with the first pregnancy.”

My mother took my hand in hers. “I’m happy that you and Colt have decided to keep things simple. There is one thing I want to remind you of doing before you get married.”

“The carving tree.”

She smiled. “Yes. Once the weather gets better, of course.”

I nodded. “We won’t forget.”

Placing her hand on the side of my face, she smiled. “You look so happy, Ensley.”

My hand covered hers. “I am, Mom. Happier than I’ve ever been before. Last night, when Colt and I were talking, we made a decision.”

Her brows raised. “What did you decide?”

“If the baby is a boy, we’re going to name him Grady. If it’s a girl, we’re going to name her Vivianna. Almost your name, but a little different.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I love both of those names, sweetheart.”

We both stood and she hugged me tightly. When we stepped back, we both smiled at each other.

“Whether this is a boy or a girl, I just know they are going to be a blessing.”

I wiped a tear from my cheek.

Wrapping her arm around my waist, she said, “Come on, let’s go join the others.”

We took one step into the kitchen and froze. I snarled my lip as I watched my father, Emeline, and Lilibeth all eating their ice cream…with sardines. My hand slowly came to my mouth.

Turning to look at me, Mom said, “Let’s go shopping for a wedding dress for you to wear.”

Fighting the urge to throw up, I let my mother grab my hand and we both nearly sprinted away from the kitchen.

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Clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention, Claire kept talking. “After we make the smoothie, it’s on to the eggs benedict.”

“The what?” Gus mumbled.

Oh. Shit. I think I signed up for the wrong cooking class.

“We’ll start with the hollandaise sauce.”

“The what?” Gus asked with a panicked look. “Holiday sauce? Which holiday is coming up? Thanksgiving, right?”

I looked down at the ingredients Claire set at our station on a blue tray.

Eggs, lemon juice, butter, salt, and pepper. That seemed easy enough.

Leaning over, I said, “Dude, don’t worry. We’ve got this shit. I cook with my mother all the time.”

He moaned and scrubbed his hands down his face. “I’m hungover, I’m surrounded by hot women, and now we’re baking desserts for the holidays! It’s too much. I’m on overload.”

Claire continued to talk. “After we make the hollandaise sauce, we’ll make the eggs benedict. Then we’ll finish it off with a creamy strawberry crepe.”

Gus and I snapped our heads and looked at each other. “French shit? What the fuck did you get us into, dude? I’m telling your mother you brought us to a French cooking class!”

“Shh!” I said as I pushed his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, boys, you’ll have help as soon as Kilyn gets here. She is our crepe specialist. Makes them all the time.”

I forced a smile. Great. Just what I need. Some old French woman yelling at me while trying to tell me how to make fucking crepes.

“Okay, let’s heat up those pans and get our butter melting.”

Gus placed the wide pan on the small portable stove as I took the butter and dropped it into the pan.

“If you feel like getting fancy, clarify the butter by skimming some of the milk solids off. It will make the sauce thicker, but less rich.”

Claire looked at what I was sure was a holy fuck what did she just say look on my face.

She was about to say something when the door to the kitchen flew open and someone came running in.

“Shit! Sorry! I thought sneaking in that yoga class might be a mistake and it was!”

I kept my eyes focused on the butter as I tried to figure out what the hell I had to do to skim the milk.

“Dude, I found the woman I’m going to marry,” Gus whispered to me as I looked at the girl next to me to see what she was doing with her butter. I gave her a grin as she smiled back.

“First time?” she asked.

Taking in a deep breath through my nose, I nodded and said, “Yep. It said breakfast. I thought fried eggs or something.”

She gave me a huge smile and replied, “You won’t find Claire or Kilyn cooking anything easy like plain eggs.”

Gus hit me on the arm. “Dude, I’m serious. I’m in love.”

Looking back at him like he was nuts, I shook my head. “What in the hell are you talking about?”

Gus pointed with his mouth to the floor. “Dude, my future wife is standing next to our French chef.”

Looking over to Claire, I watched as a girl was bent over pulling her hair into a ponytail. When she stood back up, our eyes met. My mouth dropped open at the same time as hers.

“Holy shit,” I whispered as Claire called out to me.

“Dark-haired dreamy man in the back, stop staring at Kilyn or your butter will burn.”

Kilyn.

Her green eyes sparkled as she shook her head and made a tsking motion with her finger and winked. Walking up to us, she grinned and my breath was taken away. What in the hell? That hasn’t happened in one hell of a long time.

“Are you following me?”

Pulling my head back, I gave her a fake as hell stunned look. “That would be hard to do considering I was here first.”

She flashed me a drop-me-to-my-knees smile.

“We’re here for research,” I said.

She lifted her brows and turned to Gus. “Research, huh?”

Gus slowly nodded his head. “Marketing. Pots and pans. Women.”

Turning to look at Gus, I mumbled, “Women?”

Kilyn tried to hide her chuckle, but she failed.

“I see. Well, it looks like you need some help with that sauce.”

“Yes. God, yes. What holiday are we making this for?” Gus asked.

Rolling my eyes, I looked away. Kilyn laughed and I was stunned by how it affected me. It rolled over my body like a warm blanket. I found myself wanting to hear her laugh again.

“Hollandaise sauce—not holiday,” she said with a grin.

“Oh. Well, hell, I feel stupid.”

“Nonsense. Let’s grab a double boiler and get this moving along.”

For the next two hours, Kilyn showed us how to make a kick-ass sauce, eggs benedict, which I instantly loved, and finished it all off with showing me how to make the perfect light and fluffy crepe. Gus had long given up and moved over to the table next to us and sat on his ass and flirted non-stop with the two women. Every now and then, I would hear him ask about why they liked a certain pot or pan. At least the bastard was working.

I took the crepe out of the pan and set it on a serving plate. Kilyn jumped and clapped her hands. “That’s perfect! Now take a quarter cup of the strawberries and one third cup of cream cheese and fill the crepes. You’ll roll it up and top with a small dollop of the cream cheese filling and a few sliced berries.” I did everything as she said it, dropping a few fresh strawberries on the top of our beautiful creation to finish it off.

“And voilà! Your strawberry and cream cheese crepe.”

Cutting into the crepe, I brought it to my mouth while Kilyn watched intently. Her eyes turned dark as they roamed across my body. I was almost positive I saw something in them that resembled lust. When she focused back on my lips, she licked her own.

“Holy shit. This is amazing!”

Kilyn chuckled and began cleaning up. “I’m glad you liked it. I hope you learned something about cooking this morning.”

“I learned having a beautiful woman by my side to cook with is a benefit.”

She smiled bigger. “Well, having a cute guy next to me isn’t so bad either.”

“Gorgeous. Last night you said I was gorgeous.”

Scrunching her nose up in the most adorable way, I couldn’t help but take in every single thing about her. Her brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail with a few curls hanging down. She didn’t have a stitch of makeup on and sure as hell didn’t need any. Her green eyes looked tired, but her skin seemed to glow.

“Oh, that’s right. How could I forget?” she replied sarcastically.

With a shrug, I helped her carry the dishes over to the restaurant’s massive sink where two young guys were working. “How did you like the class? Claire is my best friend and teaches it.”

“I really enjoyed it.”

Kilyn motioned with her head over to Gus. “It looks like your friend did as well.”

Sighing, I apologized for him. “I’m really sorry about him. If he thinks he even has a chance, he’ll pounce.”

Waving my comment off with her hand, she headed back to our station. It was about then Gus turned and jumped up.

He pushed me out of the way as he stuck his hand out to shake Kilyn’s hand. “I’m not really sure how you know my good friend Thano here, but I’m Gus. We neglected to introduce ourselves before we got lost in the world of cooking.”

Oh brother.

Kilyn shook Gus’s hand and said, “Pleasure.” She motioned over to me and said, “We met last night at a bar.”

Gus snapped his eyes over to mine and then back to Kilyn.

Tilting her head and giving me the sexiest look I’d ever seen, she practically purred, “Thano? What an unusual name.”

I couldn’t believe we had stood next to each other for two hours and never introduced ourselves.

Gus waved me off. “Yeah, yeah, it’s Greek. So, what do you say I take you to breakfast? We can ditch Thano and get to know each other better.”

Kilyn pulled her eyes from mine as she took Gus in. “Um . . . we just ate breakfast.”

Gus pinched his eyebrows together. “Well, how about coffee?”

Was this asshole really moving in on my turf?

My turf? What in the hell makes me think Kilyn is my turf?

Kilyn gave a polite smile and replied, “Thanks, but I have a meeting in a few minutes. It was great seeing you again, Thano. Have a great day, guys.”

And just like that, she was walking away from me again.

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Kelly Elliott is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling contemporary romance author. Since finishing her bestelling Wanted series, Kelly has continued to spread her wings while remaining true to her roots with stories of hot men, strong women, and beautiful surroundings. Her bestselling works included Wanted, Broken, Without You, and Lost Love. Elliott has been passionate about writing since she was fifteen. After years of filling journals with stories, she finally followed her dream and published her first novel, Wanted, in November 2012.

Elliott lives in Central Texas with her husband, daughter, and two pups. When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading and spending time with her family. She is down to earth and very in touch with her readers, both on social media and at signings. To learn more about Kelly and her books, you can find her through her website, www.kellyelliottauthor.com.